The Ringer NFL Show - Tua's and Love's Paydays, Disaster in Dallas, and Other Training Camp Updates

Episode Date: July 30, 2024

LIVE SHOW in Los Angeles on July 30: Click below for tickets! The guys are back to discuss the most significant developments from training camp so far and catch up on the most recent offseason news around the league, including Tua Tagovailoa's and Jordan Love’s historic contracts, a Dallas disaster class, Russell Wilson’s calf injury, and much more (2:05). “You guys want to do some emails?” (45:35). Tickets: https://www.theelrey.com/events/detail/564772 Check out our 2024 Ringer Fantasy Football Rankings here! Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit www.rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Social: Kiera Givens and Jack Sanders Producer: Kai Grady Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi, I'm Tara Palmieri. I'm Puck's senior political correspondent and host of Somebody's Got to win. Brought to you by The Ringer and Spotify. The 2024 election has been upended with Joe Biden off the ticket and Donald Trump facing a new challenger, Kamala Harris. If you want to hear what the insiders are really saying about the race, join me Tuesdays and Thursdays as I break it all down with lawmakers, journalists, and political strategists. We'll go deeper than the headlines to the anxieties at the highest levels of power. And of course, we'll chew over all the hot political gossip as we head into this historic election. Be sure to follow. Somebody's got to win at Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. To the Ringer Fantasy Football Show.

My name is Danny Hyfitz, and I am joined in studio by Danny Kelly and Craig. We were in Los Angeles. We came to your home turf, baby. Thank you. You guys flew from across the country to come visit me just to hang out. How nice is that? Just kidding. You're here for the live show, which is on Tuesday, July.

30th. Yeah. There are like a handful of tickets left. Four. So if you and your partner and another couple, double date. A double date. I can't think of a better double date. Like you're trying to invite the Polly Fantasy Football, LA community.

Yeah, the broader Pauley community, which I think is flourishing in Los Angeles. Come to our show, July 30th. You're probably listening to this on July 29th. Or maybe even on the morning of July 30th. Spontaneous live show trip? Hell yeah. So anyway, ringer.com slash events. We have a ton to get to today.

So since we last recorded, half a billion dollars of contracts, a ton of news, nobody's happy. So we can just get into it. A ton of training camp news, ton of updates and everything. There's 32 teams going six days a week.

It's kind of like 32 different firehouses of news to drink from. So we're going to just boil it down and just try to explain stuff. But, I mean, let's just do it. Start with the dolphins have re-signed to a Tungo Viloa. It's a four-year deal for $212 million.

My favorite hobby is finding out what it really is. It's three years for $150 million. So just an even $50 million a year for Tua. Yeah. And eighth most guaranteed money among quarterbacks. And I'm not going to lie. I think this will be a really controversial contract, right, TK?

I mean, yeah, obviously. And I think there are a huge amount of question marks about Tua, I think, number one, is he good? Is he worth that amount of money? Is he good? And then number two, of course. $50 million a year. One problem happy. Yeah.

I think there are still people that don't think he's very good. And so that's obviously. 93 guaranteed. And then also there's the health issue. You know, the concussion thing, it did not matter last year. He did not get hurt last year. But obviously there are question marks about that going forward. Like, you know, there's still this worry that the concussion thing could come back.

Can somebody explain this to me? So his guarantee at signing is $93 million. But his practical guarantee is $167. Okay, okay, okay. So do you actually want to know? You're winding height for something. Let him cook. Hold up.

Guaranteed at signing is the money. you're actually going to get paid, even if we hate you. Like, Russell Wilson is the money that even if you're Russell Wilson and actually by week one of the first day for your team, everyone's like, oh, this was a mistake. Counting down the play clock in the first game of the year. Yeah, exactly. That's guaranteed at signing. You're going to get paid.

Practical is like as long as you're like on the team and playing, you will get this money. A practical guarantee, which as some might point out is an oxymoron that doesn't make any sense because there's no such. There's levels of guaranteed. The practical guarantee is your salary in 2027 will become guaranteed. in 2026. And so that means we'd have to know we want to fire you a year before we fire you. So they're like, well, it's practically guaranteed because why would we do that? And it's like, Daniel Jones had a practical guarantees. They're going to fire him. Russell, and that's

like, we call him cutting. They're getting fired. Russell Wilson had all these practical guarantees. They were not so practical. What if they didn't? What if they just didn't call him guarantees anymore? Well, you can't pitch that. It's a rebrand of like, what it is. Guarantee sounds really good to an agent. It's a team option. And I think that, you know what, NBA or MLB? you hear the term team option. You don't hear that in the NFL. It's because every contract more than one year is a team option because none of them are fully guaranteed.

So to answer your question, a practical guarantee is a team option on the following season. And so it's really three years for $150 million. It's still a lot. And then they have a team on. Yeah, it's a lot of money for someone that you're like, is he good? So as long as every year the dolphins go, we'll keep him for one more year,

then he will earn that 167 guaranteed. Yeah. And so it's like, Mahomes actually has a ton of practical guarantees. But he doesn't care because he's like, they're not going to cut me. and he wants it with Super Bowl, so he doesn't care. But so to your point about whether Tua is good, shout out to ESPN, Marcel Louis Jock,

who covers the Dolphins for ESPN, had a great, just really encapsulating a couple stats about Tua. And I think just the idea, Stephen Riez talks about this all the time, that Tua is great in structure for Mike McDaniel's offense, but he's bad out of structure. He's like the guy who can run an offense, but if the NBA, like, if the play breaks down,

it's like Tua is not the guy who just goes and gets a bucket. Right. And the stat that they had at ESPN, Tua ranked third in his total quarterback rating, third among all quarterbacks, when the play was under two and a half seconds long. Like you've got rid of the ball in two and a half seconds. He was third. Over two and a half seconds, he was 16th. Yeah.

You know what Tua is? Tua is a screen actor, not a stage actor. When he's got the director of the lighting, you can cut all that stuff. Like good co-stars. Absolutely. You can retake it over and over. He's great. Kind of like us, we can edit the show, but now we go live on YouTube, we're like, oh, my God.

It's in Hawaii. You throw him live on Broadway? I don't know. That's a whole different ballgame. But yeah, I think the whole, the contract this week that happened, I think a lot of people have just started to, you know, argue about it and basically, like, is Tua even good? I felt like it's really weird that people hate Tua.

Like, he's a nice guy. People do hate him, though. It's like people have like a visceral reaction to Tua. I mean, we, do we hate him? I don't hate him. I feel like I push against you guys. I think he's really, really good, slow Daniel Jones. He's Jared Gough.

He's left. Yeah. Jared Goff to me. Lefty Jared Goff, yeah. Like in the right situation, like we just said, with the sporting cast and the right offense and everything, he's ridiculously good. And actually, I pulled up some numbers that I was, I've been, I've been, I feel like I've been defending him the last year.

But even I didn't realize this, if you look at it, number one last year in PFS pass grade. Number one in passing yards. Number two in yards per attempt. Number three in EPA per play. Number four in success rate. Number four in, and this is a great stat. Fantasy points data suite. highly accurate throw rate,

which is basically like you're hitting your receiver directly in the hand so he can keep running and they track and they chart all this is charted. He can throw a mean slant. What was going to say? Okay, but it's kind of like reading like Harrison Barnes' stats for like the 2017 Warriors. I'm like, are we looking that he's playing with?

Like, oh, he's hitting in the hands because he's fast. So basically... Yeah, well, hold on, stop. Number five in big time throws per PFF, which completely invalidates everything you just said. He's making really tough throws. His completion rate over expected, better than Stroud, Gough,

Herbert, Lawrence, Stafford, Love, Mahomes. Okay, okay. You guys are haters. Okay. Let me hit you with this. Yeah, yeah. Like, if you're starting a team right now, where would you pick him? Yeah, no, I don't know. Who's my coach? Is it Mike and Daniel? No, you don't know what the coach is. You're going to, you're the coach.

Okay, I think that is why. Who's the league average coach? Dennis Allen? No. Todd Bowles? Let's go with Mike Vrable. He's the best coach. He's not even a coach. That's fair. He's an assistant coach. right now. Yeah, fine.

Okay, fine. Kevin's the Fansky for the Browns. Okay, he just won coach of the year. Christ. Oh my God. Jeez, man. Just say it.

I don't know what? Doug Peterson? Zach Taylor for the bench. Doug Peterson's a good one. Okay, whatever. Doug Peterson, Zach Taylor. Okay, but no,

your point is well taken. You can read all these stats. Yeah, you're like, do you want him as your guy? No, no, no. But my point is. Ever seen him on his own? I think it's weird.

There's a weird conflict where he has incredible stats in the offense that they're, that he's running. he's running it really, really well. And yet everyone thinks he sucks. But like their offense is he Russell. No one thinks he sucks. No one thinks he sucks.

Oh, that's not true. All right. People on the internet aren't real. People think he sucks is not the same. People think he sucks. It's, should he make $50 million a year if the most valuable things about dolphins are the head coach having an unprecedented level of speed. And Mike McDaniel built not even an offense as much as a concept of literally they can

run deeper route trees because Tyreek and Waddle are so fast. They can break you. It's like the Bill Walsh, West Coast offense, horizontally vertical every grass, but they're using motion to make the fastest people in the end of it. Giving them head starts.

Yeah, race cars starting from moving instead of the, they're already faster than you. And so I'm like, all right, this guy's just here. Could it be replaced? And so that's the question, $50 million a year for a guy.

Could someone do this? Can I give you my real take on Tua? Yeah. He reminds me in it, not as a person, but how we talk about him, like Carson Wentz. Carson Wentz was almost an MVP candidate

in his second year, and they went to the Super Bowl, and they won without him, and they came back. And everyone's like, Yeah, Carson Wentz. What happened? He tore his ACL.

That's what happened. We don't talk about Carson Wentz. Like, oh, yeah, hasn't been the same since the ACL. But he hasn't been the same since the ACL. Too, it just hasn't been the same since the career-threatening hip injury had in college. And so I'm kind of like, I don't know. I feel like the people who love him still hold on to how incredibly was in Alabama. And the reality is he hasn't been the same since the hip injury.

But no one talks about it that way. It's not even the injury we talk about with him. I know, but like, it's weird to me you're framing it that way because he literally led the NFL in passing yards last year. You're like, he hasn't been the same since Al. He hasn't, though, but when you watch the Dolphins, he leads the league in passing yards, is your take, wow, two is, I think of the Dolphins in that Chiefs Ice Bowl game, I think of the only points the Dolphins scored in that game

was Tyree Kill catching a pass. He turned around and fielded like a punt because he was waiting so long for it to come down. And that's what I can't get out of my head, is too just underthrowing Tyree Kill and Jalen Wattle constantly. You got the ick. I mean, if you had to rank the most important players on the Dolphins' offense, two is not top three. Ah, yeah, I don't know.

But like he's the quarterback. You guys say that, but also at the same time, I feel like he is really well, like his skill set perfectly fits what they're trying to do. He passes over the little field. He has incredible decisiveness. He gets rid of the ball really quickly. You know, his, you know, you talked about his time to throw. Like, that is a skill in itself that he's getting rid of the football

and he's getting the ball to his playmakers. He's doing what they're asking him to do. And again, I'm not going to argue that like he would be the first guy that I choose for my franchise or whatever. I'm not saying that. I see him in the golf range where he's really good at running this offense that they're doing.

He's a facilitator. It's hard to separate the player from the scheme. Accurate throw rate, big time throws. Like, he's making the throws and we're not giving him credit for those, I don't think. Can I push it back? Push back on myself.

Who's we? The internet at large? The NFL intelligence. Well, if you look at the reaction for when he got signed, I think. Well, I think here's the argument for it is two things. It costs what it costs. It's like a house.

You're like, damn, rent is expensive right now. All right, what are you going to do? Now pay rent. You need a quarterback. And if Carlos Chiraboga was here, Carlos is the man. He's a Dolphins fan. And he's the quick to point out,

Tua is unambiguously the best Dolphins quarterback in the 21st century since Dan Marino. Like Dolphins, Tua made the Pro Bowl last year. Before that, the Dolphins were the only team in the 21st century to not have a Pro Bowl quarterback. And,

and Tua is the second quarterback the Dolphins have re-signed in the 21st century. Like, they have that re-signed a quarterback to a contract other than the, Ryan Tanahill and Tua, and they traded Tana Hill and then he was good. And so it's like, emotionally, you have to keep him. You got to be happy to be here.

Yeah. The price is the price. What are they going to do? I mean, this is one of the off. We're most excited about this year. Like, this is a really, really exciting high octane offense. It is not all-tura. They are so fucking exciting.

They have like the coolest players in the league. They're the fastest, most electric, like explosive in fantasy. And yet everyone's just kind of like dolphins. It's so weird. Why aren't they the coolest team in the league? Because they're not. It's because it too. Also, he did the Rod Tiddwell, show me the money.

And the second he starts playing poorly, it's going to, people got to do that. But the other quarterback you signed this week, Packers re-signed Jordan, well, last week at this point, we're recording this Monday. Packers re-signed Jordan Love. He got a four-year contract for $220 million. Record setting bonus. I don't know how you guys feel about this. 25 million direct deposit this week for Jordan Love. Very cool.

$25 million direct deposit, October 4th. 25 million direct deposit December 27th. Wow. Not his salary, just a bonus. So that's kind of nice. So without going into... $5 million over the next three months? Oh, no, that's also plus a salary, but yeah.

Yeah. How often do you get paid in the NFL, like, every two weeks? Yeah, every... Or is it every game check? Every week. Yeah, they get a game check every week, but he's getting this. Without going into the whole practical guarantee thing, slightly less money than two over three years,

but he got like double the signing bonus. So it's... But Jordan Love... Craig, what was your first reaction when you saw this Jordan Love contract extension? I was like, this is the craziest quarterback contract ever. Maybe Deshawn Watson, I guess, but... Oh, yeah, easily.

Yeah, that was... It's really guaranteed is, like, insane. Outside of that... I don't know. I'm just like... Teams are in such a weird spot now, because, like, you absolutely have to pay him. And when you pay somebody

who is relatively at the level of, like, the best five to ten quarterbacks in the league, like, you have to make them the most, the highest paid quarterback in the league. Right. It's just like, you know, Kirk Cousins has been the highest quarterback in the league, like three different times

just because of the way his contract worked out. And it's just like, I'm like, I don't know, Jordan Love has played 10 good football games, and he is now making... I think Packers fans are screaming. But it's true. Final eight games last season, Jordan Love had 18 touchdowns and one interceptions. The first half of the season, they were 3 and 6, and he had 14 touchdowns and 10 picks. He also was working with the youngest skill group in the history of the NFL.

I actually think Jordan Love is, like, fantastic and amazing. That's not my point is not like he's not worth the money. My point is like, it's crazy how quickly you have to pay somebody the second they get good now. Well, that's the problem. He was drafted in 2020s, but on the bench for three years. This is unlike any other situation. That's why I think it's the craziest contract in history. This guy had one half of a good season, and he's the highest-bid quarterback in the league now per year. Did Daniel Jones have one-half of a good season? They paid him. He had like a third of it. He had like three good games. I found myself, I found myself sort of bristling at your comment that it's the craziest contract. And I was going to be like, well, they've seen this guy practicing for four years. And then I'm like, wait, that's actually insane.

That's an insane thing to say. He's making $55 million a year. He's got 10 good football games. And I think he's deserving and he will go on to be like one of the best quarterbacks in the league. Yeah. But I'm just like, I don't know. You're right.

He's holding out after 10 games. Like, Kailin Williams should just hold out right now. He tried. He tried. His dad after the, his dad like in September was like, you know, it's weird. That's kind of better to not get drafted than go first. And I was like, don't you get any ideas.

How few games does a quarterback need to play at a high level to like warrant getting paid the most money in the league? Well, speaking of the backers, Matt Flynn played the one game. I was just thinking about it. It had like six touchdowns in a game. He signed like a $40 million contract. Yeah, week 17 because the fact was betched their start. Like couldn't Caleb Williams just be like I'm holding out for an extension right now? They pay them.

I don't think the CBA allows it. You can't do that. If you don't show up, then you just don't accrue. You have four years, five years, whatever, depends for a first run pick till free agency. When can he start holding out for a new contract, Caleb Williams? You can't get a contract extension till three seasons to the NFL. The NFL figured all this out. The short answer to everything you're saying is that the rookies are.

Yeah, yeah. The rookies aren't like, we're not getting into this, but they thought of that. Okay. Yeah, I don't think he has the power to. Although he tried, apparently there was a report that came out recently. He was like, yeah, trying to get paid to an LLC to avoid. I don't even know what like tax. Oh, Caleb Williams wants to be paid at LLC.

Yeah, and he was like deferred payments that would come later. I don't even know exactly what it was. The bears are like, wow, we should have these ideas? Bears are like, damn, should we be in LLC? They're like, these are really cool ideas, but no. Anyway, I think Jordan Love is great. I'm just like, this is crazy. I will say Jordan Love 14 to 1

Win MVP I kind of think it's a value I feel like C.J. Stroud market corrected Jordan Love this off season because we're not even talking about how the Packers replaced Aaron Rogers and have like this generational quarterback. He had the same stat line in the wildcard round like almost to the yard as C.J. Stroud just doing cool stuff with Michael Parsons and I feel like no one's talking about

Jordan Love you'd think he'd be a phenomenon but I actually think he's weirdly underrated. Do you guys think CJ Stroud's like media emergence in the first year of his career is like a little bit of an inck? First Stroud? He won a playoff game. Is it like stop, like, hey, you don't immediately need to be immediate personality. Or are you like, oh, this is the modern NFL, this is modern sports now, like this is what athletes do?

Forgetting what I think, what I actually think people in the NFL coaches GM's players believe, he won a playoff game. And I think the difference between people thinking you can do that or not, like Baker, when Baker Mayfield did all the progressive commercials. Oh, right, yeah, yeah. I don't, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they had won a playoff game by that point. But, like, people hated that because it's like, he's the words to be to ever get, like, endorsed in a commercial. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was everywhere.

Stroud honestly played so well and impressed so many people and won a playoff game that I think you actually get to be in the game Yeah you think Because he was just like chilling on the couch with Michael Parsons It's like firing off takes about players in the league You listen to him crazy He's like he studied the guy

He's impressive Speaking of Michael Parsons though Okay Who The Dallas Cowboys I don't know what Dallas is doing They're a hot mess Dallas I'm going to be in Oxnard at Dallas camp next week

And I honestly I am so curious what the vibes are. So, Dak Prescott, C.D. Lamb, and Michael Parsons all need contracts. They're all going to want to be the highest paid ever at their position. Dak Prescott is at training camp. He is literally, Dak Prescott already talking about how he's made peace with having to leave the Cowboys, if that's what comes to it. What's the phrase? I can't speak English. That's what comes to it. That's what it comes to too. That's what it comes to to. That's what it comes to shove. Yeah. CD Lamb, whatever, man.

Cedley Lamb's not even there. If push comes to shove. What does that even mean? Like if you push it. If a fight develops. Push comes to punch. Push is a shove. same category, but different meanings. If somebody's like I got shoved versus I got pushed, maybe it's like sounds more aggressive. If I push you with one hand, but it shoves like two hands. Yeah, shove is more aggressive. Yeah, okay.

Anyway, CD Lamb isn't even at training camp. He wants a new contract. He's in Houston. Michael Parsons also needs a new deal. He's third in line. And Dallas has zero depth behind these people. They've had three horribly embarrassing playoff losses in three years. They haven't been to a conference title game in 28 years.

Every other team in Dallas has done it in the last, like, 300 days or whatever. And I keep wondering. Hyvitz always has those stats. I know. Well, it's crazy. It's like three colleges in Dallas have actually gone to state championships in the last three years. I'm like, what happened in the playoffs last year? I didn't even remember.

Who won the Super Bowl? You're dad. You don't need a memory. I do remember Dallas getting boat race by Green Bay. Oh, my God. DK., does it concern you that Jerry Jones is a month older than Joe Biden? I know. One of you're talking about this?

My first reaction is sort of just Jerry Jones is an nihilist. He doesn't, like, isn't. thinking about what's going to happen a year from now because he might not be around for much longer. He's just like, let's just let it roll. Let's see what's happening. It's the other way around. The Cowboys have this perception of like, oh yeah, we spend big money. We do crazy

stuff. I think what's actually happening is they're transitioning from the old owner who bought the team and is smart, made their own money and is aggressive, like Jerry Bus for the Lakers, George Steinbrenner for the Yankees, Jerry Jones. But it's actually, they already did transition. Stephen Jones, his son is running the team now.

And Stephen is like, the bus kids. Or the Steinbrenner kids who actually they didn't make the money. They kind of, like the old owners, Jerry Boss, Steinbrenner, Jerry Jones would like, they'd rather like go broke than lose. And the kids like, no, we'd rather just keep the money either way. We like money's great. And so the Cowboys, the Eagles are, the Eagles in the NFC East are tied for the most cash being spent this entire year. They're tied with the Browns. The Dallas Cowboys are spending.

The most valuable franchise in sports. are spending like it's a small market team. They're like the Lannisters where they have like this reputation. And actually they're gold money. They don't have a lot of cash. Yeah, they ran dry like years ago. They're playing like money ball. Dude, they're not spending any money.

And then I look and it's like, I really do think it's the Stephen Jones is there's Tyler Dunn at Go Long, who's a substack of this great story about how Stephen Jones has been frugal for a long time. Like even back when they signed Dion Sanders like 30 years ago, he was like apoplectic that his dad was spending so much money in free agency. And I really think that what we're seeing is it's what Craig said. They put Jerry Jones and the. Ocean's 11 bank fault.

And they're letting him, they're telling him he's running the team. But Jerry Jones isn't doing anything. He's watching this like tape from the Bellagio Vol. I mean, he's contradicted himself a few times over the last few months. Jerry Jones has about their cap situation. It's like unclear if he knows exactly what's going on. He was talking to Jonathan Brooks. Like they drafted him.

Like they just told him, yeah, we'll take that guy. And then he's like, oh, yeah, we did a great job. Dude, it's day one of the draft right now. I feel like they're just like, time to go. Okay, Grandpa. Yeah, okay, Grandpa. We drafted Jonathan Brooks. Okay, Grandpa.

Let's get you right to bed. We won three Super Bowls. We don't need CD Lamb. Okay. It is bizarre, though. To bring it back to the point, they have done an amazing job of accumulating talent. This is, like, a big strength of the Cowboys over the years is like they're very

good at drafting. If you look at their roster, they have some incredible players. Which is so funny. You don't. Is it the whole, like, scouting process in Dallas? Like, the scouts will bring, like, a report. and be like, we have to take this guy,

and then Jerry Jones at the 11th hour, like, eh, that guy. No, they have this guy named Will McLeigh, who is like, they don't call him the GM, but they take good care of. Will McLeigh has literally been the number one candidate for every team for GM for like 10 years, and he doesn't leave because Jerry's really good at persuading people and paying him a lot.

But Will McLeigh is like the best talent evaluator, and he just doesn't leave. He's like part of the family. He's like CD. Yeah, he's, you know, one of the best receivers in the NFL, Michael Parsons, you know, going back further, it's like Zach Martin.

But when you're not, when you're spending like a small market team, you only need to miss a couple drafts for it to all fall apart. And like, think about it. They haven't made the NFC championship game with DAC, C.D., Micah, Micah, on rookie contracts. Sorry, CD and Micah are on rookie deals. Now they're going to have to pay them.

And I know this, maybe I haven't made this clear. The reason this is a catastrophe, should have led with this, DAC could be a free agent at the end of the year. Like, there is a world that Dak Prescott, like, these are the stakes. They're probably not going to do an extension during this season. That just doesn't happen for anybody. Either they get a deal done before training camp. Or, sorry, before week one.

If they don't, Dak Prescott is either going to have to, go back to Dallas for like $70 million a year in a world where two is getting 50. Or, Dak could leave Dallas and Dallas in exchange gets a third round pick in 2026 for Dak Prescott. Treyland's season. I know, like, what is the plan here? It is just bizarre to think about why they're doing this. And it comes down to, well, you also have the coach, Mike McCarthy.

He's in a contract year. He's a free agent after this year, too. It's like the entire team, everything depends on what they do this year. it's so bizarre. And are they going to be able to get all these guys done at the exact same time? Are the Cowboys the sneaky playoff failure team? Like everybody in a contract? Think about it this way.

I mean this literally. Every single coach on the Cowboys is on a contract year. And you don't hear about that because teams generally speaking don't do it. But the Cowboys are kind of cheap. Like apparently Stephen Jones has been reported. Doesn't love doing debt. They don't like paying people, quote, to not work, dead money. When you're asking about practical guarantees, they don't do it.

So, like, David Tepper for the Panthers is paying three different coaches right now because he fires them like, all right, we own the money in the contract, we need to do coach. Cowboys won't do it. That's why they never fired Jason Garrett because they don't want to pay Jason Garrett if he's not working for them. So all the,

but now every coach on the team is in a contract year, which they're not used to. Stack, CD and Mike is on a contract year. And if they don't start hot, the vibes sour real quick, CD's not there, and the Chargers,

sorry, the Cowboys without CD are the Chargers. Like it's Brandon Cook's, Kvante Turpin and Jalen Tolbert. Like, I kind of wonder if the Cowboys are quietly the most top-heavy team entirely. To that point, I saw a quote from Stephen Jones today that basically, and I won't read the whole quote,

but he was basically like putting it out there that, you know what? He says, one of the great things about Texas is you don't have to pay state income taxes. And he's talking about how the cost of living in Texas is way lower compared to living in, you know, wherever, New York or or Seattle or L.A. or what have you. It's just like so much cheaper to live there. So your money goes farther. He's like out here lobbying that we're going to pay you less just because it's great to live in Texas. You don't have to pay taxes.

You don't get to live in like a giant mansion or whatever, and it's $5,00. They've bungled every aspect of this. But it's like he's truly, he's going out and talking about how, you know, the quarterbacks that go out and take the huge deals, you can't put enough around him. You can't put other pieces around him. He's like lobbying that DAC is going to have to take less money to come here. It's like, they don't know what they're doing. We could run an NFL team for the 1,000th time. Next up here, the other, this is fine team, the Cincinnati Bengals, I know we've talked to them last couple of,

couple weeks. We talked about Joe Burrow. Last time we were talking, I moved Joe Burrow way down my rankings. I moved Jamar Chase from 6th to like 20th of my rankings. And I told you guys, I would move them back when Joe Burrow threw football five days in a row. They actually officially made announcement from Cincinnati. Joe Burroughs not going to throw football three days in a row. For the foreseeable future, maybe all of camp. I'm not going to lie guys, I'm out. Like, Jamar Chase is holding in. Joe Burroughs not throwing a football three days in a row. Like, this is the healthiest to be all year. Like, it's a wrist injury. Like, you know, when you fall... That's not true because he's still coming back.

back from the injury. It's not the healthiest he's going to be all year. He'll get more healthy as he gets further away from the surgery. August 30th is the healthiest he'll be. Right. But you don't get healthier during an NFL season. You plateau at best. And so if he's still not full- His wrist might get healthier, but the rest of it is the question mark. But yeah. Why, when Aaron Donald, or so I guess he retired, when T.J. Watt tackles him and he braces himself on his throwing wrist, that's going to help. Once again, Joe Burrow, not a normal offseason. Fifth straight year of him not having a normal training camp. I'm out on the Bengals. even in the last week of training camp

if Joe Burrow throws five days in a row, that's fine, I'm in. But until it happens, I'm out. Do quarterbacks throw five days in a row during the regular season? Or no? I mean, I don't know how, like... How often are quarterbacks actually throwing five days in a row?

You think? I don't know. I don't think they are on like... They're not throwing on Monday. Some would have a pitch count. But yeah. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, maybe Saturday off?

I don't think they're throwing Mondays. And I'm sure it's like, Rothusburg, it's worth the end. Yeah, he was like... He's just like, I'll see you on Sunday. I don't know what he was doing. Yeah, but they're not taking guys out of practice, though. Yeah.

Right. So, yeah, vibes in Cincinnati are tough. The other contract is San Francisco, you have Brandon Iuke is kind of holding in. Trent Williams is also holding out, holding in. I don't even know anymore. Why is Brandon, Iuke holding in? I feel like he kind of caved, and he's like, all right, anyway, I'll see that. It's good.

The fines. The fine structure. Can't you recoup those on a rookie deal? No. The short answer is, honestly, I don't know. The Chainsmanman. But I think, no. When you're on a second, when you're on a second.

contract you can't recoup the fives, but when you're a rookie contract, you can? I honestly, I'm not sure. All this shit is so stupid. I know. I know. I think the different, can I think there, I think there's a strategic difference. Braden and I think I think is there because they do want to win a Super Bowl and also I think he the Niners will pay him and I think if he's there

you can be there. You'd be like oh, my leg hurts. I think Citi Lamb is not, yeah, exactly. I'm going to hang out on the side of my back. He was like talking he was sitting at practice talking to the GM. He seemed like he was in a good good spirits. The difference is I think CD Lamb is not with the Cowboys and doesn't

care about the fine money because CD Lamb wants them to see what their offenses without CD Lamb. Which is a great point. It's different than Iuke. On that note, I will say, I think I think Iuk delays all this because I don't think Ceddy signs till Ayuk signs. And I don't think Iyuk signs till that week of.

And I also think they're playing chicken. Do you think Iyuk is going to have like the all time the all time year this season because I feel like we underrated that they made a Netflix doc about not just Debo Samuel, but also George Kittle and did invite Brin Ayuk and he probably thinks he's the best and youngest of both of them. Do we know they didn't invite him?

I mean, I'm going to guess, yeah. That's like, if you guys got invited to do a show and they're like, they didn't talk to me. Fuck you guys. And then like, there are literally cameras following us. It's not about podcasters. They're like, we don't get a fuck about it. And you watch the thing and he's just like cut, like his face cut out of everything. It's just like a pair of hands dapping up Divo and you're like, that's great.

They crop it so I'm out of the picture. It shows the three of us on like Zoom calls and you just cut off a third of it. Yeah. I feel like Ayuk's probably been a traitor pretty hard. I'm going to come in and have the best podcasts this year, guys. You know how we always believe in fantasy and like the contract year guy? Like who wants to, you know, play well to earn a new contract? Do you believe in the like, I just got paid, fuck you, I'll show you I'm worth it year?

Like if I yuk just gets a fat extension, do you actually think that will motivate him even more to have a good year? It depends how crazy they are. Like Amman or St. Brown after watching receiver, yeah. Yeah, right? Yeah. He, like, he was like, oh, every game I'm trying to have 150 yards and two touchdowns. I'm like, he's going to go to three now. J.G. Watt did that.

When he got paid, he showed up to the facility at three in the morning to work out. And he learned, it's like, oh, my fob doesn't have 24-hour access. And he sat there for two hours until someone showed up. You actually might want to prove that you're worth the money. Yeah. Well, maybe like the later you drafted. Always have to have something that they're trying to. Yeah, the M.J.

On the shoulder. Yeah, like the M.J. When he made up that story about, was it John Lucas? He's like, I'm literally made up a story that he, like, talk shit to me. He's like, my favorite MJ story. I love you. Dude, my favorite MJ story ever. is when the waiter in Utah was like,

hey, Mr. Jordan, such a huge fan. You're the greatest player of all time. It's an honor to meet you. And he was like, I was like, fuck that guy. Every time I walk into the studio to record with you guys, I just like imagine D.K. Just like, told me I suck it by that guy.

Fuck you, I'll show you. Anyway, so just to recoup all this, two is whatever. We don't know. I'm out on the Bengals. I think CD could have a record-setting year. Like, I think CD and DAC like they're both trying to inflate numbers

for contract years. CD actually does show up, that's good. And if they don't get deals, that's better. And then I think, I like Ayuk for a contract year. But he's also growing like as a top 20 player. I don't like Ayuk as a second runner. But I do think he can. Yeah.

Because they still have Devo. They still have Kittal. They still have CMC. And they're still really run balanced offense. So it's like where's the production going to come from? I think he's the type of guy where it's going to be pretty volatile week in and week out. I think he's one of the best receivers in the NFL, but from a fantasy point of view. It's risky.

A couple injuries. Oh my God. Yeah, Russell Wilson, the ties that bind you to. Russell Wilson, Steelers quarterback, if you're tuning in now in July. Yeah, Russell Wilson signed for the Steelers for a million dollars because those practical guarantees. That's wild. So, the Broncos cut him and still owe him $40 million in their books. So he's getting paid.

It's a whole thing. So he's a million dollars to Steelers. Russell Wilson is a calf injury. Missed four practices in a row at this point. This is Monday. Actually, might be five by now. And I, that sounds. He was supposed to be back on Tuesday.

Okay. Well, all right. Well, Russell Wilson missed, I believe, zero practices in Seattle for 10 years. I think eventually he did miss some practices, but it was a solid stretch there where he literally didn't miss a practice for, like, first six or seven years. He had that mallet finger thing or whatever. It took 10 years from a mispractice. I want to see he had like a knee injury, too, that kind of kept him out later. But he's accumulated a few injuries later in his career, but early on he was an Iron Man.

How many sleds were they having Russell? Wilson push in Seattle. Because we're kind of built different out there in Pittsburgh. Dude, dude, okay, okay. It's like you show up to work you want to prove yourself. It's like, dude, chill. Yeah, relax. Yeah, so Russell Wilson, I couldn't believe this when I read this.

This is ESPN. Shout up Brooke Pryor, Steelers reporter, ESPN. Russell Wilson said, we were, because it's how to hear his calf and he's out because, you know, Achilles injury, right? Like, there's a real risk of, like, that would mess up his whole career. Russ had an Achilles injury. Russ said, we were doing a sled push thing and just tweaked it a little bit. It was the fourth, fifth time we did the sled push, and I felt a little something. Why is Russell Wilson pushing a blocking sled?

Maybe they're doing tush-bush? You know, it's funny. Oh, you think? No, dude. I don't know. The Steelers also have a new strength and conditioning coach this year. They had the same guy for like 20 years. New sheriff in town.

You just heard our quarterback. Arthur Smith is the offensive coordinator. Arthur Smith, I could be wrong. Like, if people correct, email us to ringerfancy football at g-gum. If I'm wrong, I'm sure I'll hear about it. But if Arthur Smith is having Russell Wilson do blocking sleds, just because he wants the team to be like manly and then he got hurt doing a blocking sled.

Counter, do you think this is also the type of thing that Russ would like volunteer to do? Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? He's like, he's trying to like set a statement. He's like, new guy, veteran, want to show like, all right. Leaders eat last. Yeah, 100%.

Leaders eat last. I can see him doing that. I can see Rush being like, I'll get in there with my boys. She pulls his cap. He looks so much worse. He's like, I can hang with the young bucks. You're all-time Macfeyers. I was at a wedding this weekend.

A friend of ours from college is telling you about she was plucking her boyfriend's eyebrows. And she was like plucked one and he's like, oh, and she's like, she's such a baby, get over it. And I'm like, imagine all the offensive linemen watching him pull his calf on like the third blocking sled. And they're like, we have to like block the Ravens. It's not going great.

Also, by the way, Justin Fields, turn in some heads. You're not in? You're not getting excited about that? Yeah, sure. I've heard that. It's been a little up and down with him. But he's such a freak. I mean, like watching Russ like, you know,

limp around the field. and the Justin Fields comes in, like running like four three-fours. This... Real talk, real talk. What do you think deep down about how this is going to go for the Steelers

with the Russell Wilson, Justin Fields, Arthur Smith, triumph for it? I think it's going to go well. You couldn't say that about it. Just a shit-eating grin. I actually do. I honestly think, like,

the last three years in Pittsburgh have, like, underratedly been so disastrous and so terrible with Matt Canada. Oh, it's been a mess. I mean, even the last few years have been. Remember the year before Ben's last year when he was out? They're like, Doc Hodges.

It's been such a mess. It's like incredibly, incredibly difficult to complete a pass. Like, I don't know if the bars just has been lowered so much that I'm like, oh, Russ and Justin Fields. Like, we'll figure that out. You know what? You just nailed it. The Steelers' offense or two years has reminded me of high school football in the different, like when they complete a pass, like two passes in a row. You're like, oh, nice.

100%. It's like so hard to complete a pass. It's funny. I think I always say this. football is such a magical sport because some teams it's like so easy you're just launching it down

field. It's amazing. The 9ers can do anything. It's the most fun to watch. It's beautiful. And then some teams it's like pulling teeth to complete a pass. You cannot do it. Like there are times with Kenny Pickett. I'm like he can't complete a pass. He literally can't do it. He just hand off. Yeah.

So I weirdly feel confident. You mean Kenny Pickett who Tommy DeVille? who had more 300-yard games in like December than Kenny Pickett did in his career. Do you remember? Kenny Pickett facts. I forgot about those.

Do you remember one year ago, like almost to this day when Kenny Pickett was just like going nuts in the preseason? And like there was like a week on ESPN, like NFL Live. Everyone was like, we've seen it. Kenny, we knew we had it. We did our preseason bets episode the Wednesday before week one. And you said your lock of this century was Kenny Pickett over. It was like 17 and a half touchdowns, one touchdown of fucking. insulting. And all of you were like, yeah,

that's pretty insulting. So maybe it's a good thing. Would he throw 11? I don't remember of it. But yes, it wasn't bad. That sounds high. Actually, 11 sounds right. But yeah, maybe it's good that Justin Fields doesn't have high.

He completed six touchdowns. Are I looking at this right? Is it bad that I'm still like? Mahomes did that at a half once. Is it bad that I'm still like, there's something there with Pickett? Yes. Yeah, that's bad. That's called toxic.

It's a toxic relationship. Am I looking at this right? Six touchdown passes in 12 games. Look, he's banged up. There's a couple fourth quarters where Kenny Pickett has shown something special. This is one of those things where, you know, when you're looking at a statistical, like a spreadsheet and you're like, what do I have sorted wrong or what am I, you know, what? I filtered this. Six touchdowns?

I think this is filtered normally. Wait, is this just like away games? Like what is? Craig, back me up on. You must be looking at the wrong. Six touchdowns, four picks and 12 games. Should that be a segment from now on? Like, did we filter this wrong?

Is this filtered right? That does appear to be correct. That can't be right. You didn't even get close to 17. You can't complete a pass. Back Canada. Okay. I just wanted this.

He can't complete a pass. Yeah. It's so hard. What is that worth like 40 million a year? No, I'm kidding. Pop quiz. What team is, can you pick it on? Eagles.

I had the realization halfway through the offseason. I was like, wait, where did he go? I have no idea. They got the Giants' best play. Sequin Barclay in the Steelers? You know what's a really good one? What team is Desmond Ritteron? Well, I know.

I know too, but it's hard. Do you know? No. He's not the Cardinals. They traded him for Rondale Moore straight up. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. What a weird trade.

They traded the starting quarterback for a 5 foot 8 receiver. There's so many players in the league. And honestly, the Falcons won that trade. Oh, easily. Dude, if your quarterback just leads the end, he has the most goal line turnover since like Deshawn Kaiser on the windless Brown. like at some point.

Ritter is to me the perfect example of a player who once he's out of the spotlight ceases to exist in my mind. I'm just like, I'm putting it out of my mind now. I don't think about it. Out of sight, out of mind. You're like, oh, he still exists.

I knew he was on a team. Like Kyle Allen, remember him? He's on Steelers. Okay. Who's like the backup quarterback now? Like I feel like it was like the quintet, like the prototype backup? Is it Josh Johnson, I guess, has the belt?

I feel like it has to be Josh Jones. You're saying like the most journeyman. Taylor. Ryan Fitzpatrick. There's always a Ryan Fitzpatrick team. Like, oh, he's the backup. It's Taylor, Heineke, maybe. Heinek, well, I don't know.

Even though I guess he's third now. Minchu might play. Oh, Minchu. Starringy. Drew Locke. Drew Locke could be there. He never was really the starter. Yeah, but, I mean, he's been a starter.

I feel like it's Josh Johnson. But Fitzpatrick was a guy who ebbed in front between starter and non-starter. Oh, James. Oh, Flacco? Yeah. I can't believe he's alive. Flacko had too much of a career as a starter.

It's like I won a fucking Super Bowl. What does it say about the Browns that Joe Flacco took into the playoffs? And they're like, you were too good. We have to get rid of him. We can't have you and Sean Watson in the same season. Like, everyone will want Flacco back. That's bad. I think it's James.

Craig, do you know what team Carson Wentz is on? He's on the ramps? Nope. Wait. Chiefs. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, Carson Wentz wins a Super Bowl?

Dude, Carson Wentz winning a Super Bowl. Will Wins complete a pass to Cadarius Tony this year? That's my goal. By the way, Tony, getting some hype in camp. Wait, do you think that the Reed was like, He can't catch the ball, so he's a running back now. We just need to the ball in his hands as easily as possible. He kind of can't run routes, so we just have to give him the ball in the back field.

I want to go back to 29. He's the forest go. Go that way. I kind of get that. I want to go back to 2019 and be like, hey, guys, you know, a few years. You're going to have Carson Wentz throwing a Cadars Tony in an Andy Reid office. Oh, God. In 2018, if you told a cheese fan, you can have this rookie Patrick Mahomes or Carson

Wentz, every single one of the show from Carson Wentz. Who do you think is, who do you think? was ultimately right about Tony Craig and I are high fits. I think it's a resounding us. jury's still out, jury's still out. Convin waiting C-bo. We're running with the starter. We're in a contract year

with the Tony take. We'll see. We'll see if we're going to get an extension. Yeah. Running with the starters, picking up the balls. We're doing a softball. We're picking up the fifth year on the Tony take. We're picking up the fifth year. Fifth year option. All right. That's actually pretty funny. Picking up the fifth year option on a take. We're still in, but not quite.

We picked up. We picked that. We're not quite ready for an extension. Yeah. We'll franchise tag it. It's a good value still to us. I will franchise tag that take. Am I doing on Josh Jacobs then?

Maybe I should let that one go. Yeah. I kind of like Josh Jacobs this year, by the way. He's doing a lot of media. Is he? He's like doing a lot of pods. Josh Jacobs. See, that's kind of Nick.

I know. I kind of hate when players do pods. Like Strouds. Like play football. Craig is. leave the polls to the people who are not athletic. They also hate our corner, right? Oh my God.

All right, well, speaking of pods, the Tim Kawakami podcast, which is Tim Kawakami's covered the 49ers for like my entire life. That guy's hilarious on Twitter. He does not give an F. That guy quote retweets anyone. Yeah.

He goes hard in the pain. He'll attack anyone. He's throwing elbows. Yes, he is. He's high fits playing basketball. That guy uses Twitter more like in such a bizarre way. I kind of, I respect it, actually.

Yeah, it's just like he puts heads on spikes. He like treats his main account like a burner? Right. Anyway. He suffers no one. Kyle Shanhan was on the show. Kyle Shannon coached the 49ers. And they were talking about Bill Belichick.

And they were like, and Kyle Shannon said that he offered Belichick a job. And Kyle Shannon said, I was like, would you be interested? And Belichick was very nice and appreciative, but he politely turned me down. and then ESPN had a longer excerpt. Shannon said, I'm sure Belichick's going to be back in the league next year and I could be going against him. He could be in the NFC West. It would have sucked if he came here.

And then he was going against us. So that's the stuff he had to be careful about. But he's the best and I just like talking to him. And they also basically said you could have any job you want, defensive coordinator. He's like, head coach? Honestly, I wonder what Kyle Shaded would do. He's like, I'll make up a new role for myself. Yeah.

I'm back in. I'll be the football president. Yeah. I think this confirms what everyone says to Kyle Shannon knows ball. Yeah. Because he's like, you know, like everyone's like, you know what? I don't know about this guy, and Kyle Shannon's like, you know, that guy won eight Super Bowls. It's pretty good.

Maybe you want to play out word for us? I was thinking of you when I read that. I was like, how did no one hire him? Dude, I still, I think, like, we might have to pitch Bill on like a 60 for 60 one day on, on like how nobody hired Bill Belichick to be the head coach of their football team. He's literally not coaching in football. His boat is called eight rings. It's incredible. Anyway, shout of Kyle.

in for being like smart. It's just rational. Brock Purdy, bulking up. That was just the last train camp. He just wanted to hit. Brock Purdy. Bulk purdy.

Bulk season. Why does everybody feel like they need to change so much every off season? He was pretty good. He was pretty good last year. Wouldn't you come in being like, I should try and do what I did last year?

Dude, he's thin. I think he just needs to be like sturdier. Maybe they're worried about the offensive line. He's like, I got to put on a little weight. Yeah, but couldn't that potentially mess up your throwing motion and all that, you get too muscle bound. I think he fell out of that.

Start to be, like, levis, just all vainy. Yeah, it's just, like, tight. I think that's, like, of all the dumb stuff we've talked about, the truest thing we've ever talked about is hot quarterbacks are bad. If Purdy was ripped, though, I think I might. Again, think he's better. Who's the best ripped quarterback of all time? There literally are none.

No quarterbacks have been ripped. Like, Mahomes, the dad, but the pliability lose dad bodod without, like, was L.A. ripped? Early in his career. Not now. Well, okay. He's like 60. What is that?

What's the point saying? I don't know. I don't think any of them, like, look ripped. I don't know, to be honest. I mean, the famous Tom Brady thing, obviously, with... The combine. Yeah, and then Patrick Mahomes is... Yeah, Patrick Mahomes is...

I mean, like, Ben Rathesper was a big fella. Mahomes is an inspiration. Mahomes is, like, very, like, not sneaky, not ripped. Mahomes and Scotty Shuffler are genuinely inspiring for average men. Yeah. It's funny that Mahomes is so good because I love it. Like, the body, obviously, there's... He's a little, you know, thick or whatever.

And then the way he's... wears his helmet. It's so dorky looking at his helmet. Big ass, it's like away on the top of himself. His head's always leaning to the side. I love how he walks like Pablo Escobar and Narcos. He's this bow-legged knees. He's like this bow-legged knees. He's like, he can get away with it because he's the best

quarterback of our generation. Probably ever. Yeah. I mean, be careful to say that. Well, no, it's really, this is so simple. It doesn't have to make this complicated. Tom Brady is the goat. Like, everyone agrees.

Tom Brady's the greatest of all time. And Patrick Holmes is like also better. And like, that's not even controversial. Like, both those things are true. Yeah. And I can't explain. it, but it's true. Mahomes has that indescribable thing,

the, you know, the quote-unquote it factor where you know he's just like, ah, it's fine, and the fourth quarter will be fine. Well, you said about Brady, after he won the Buck's Super Bowl that night, you're like, he's Alexander the Great now. Like, like, everyone knows he's going to win. Yeah. He's unkillable. And it like, I feel like it only gets easier

for him. Like, the more reps you get under your belt, the more times Mahomes does it, the more confident he is every time he's put in that situation again. So it's just like as his career goes on, he's only going to get more comfortable in fourth quarters. Only you're going to get more clutch in fourth quarters, you know? It's crazy, too, because he has the beginning of Peyton Manning's career and Brady's career, because he has all the titles, but no one thought Brady was like the reason they won those

first through Super Bowls. He was just there. But he also says the Peyton Manning, like, MVP's 5,000-yard season, 50-yard touchdown passes. Like, the Brady Manning debate of 2000s, like, Mojum's already did both sides of it. Yeah, he's both. It's like, he's, like, the worst outcome of his career is losing an overtime of the AFC championship game. It's the worst he's ever done. Yeah. He needs a true, like, contemporary. Like, Josh Allen needs to win a Super Bowl or something. and beat Mahomes, because right now it's Mahomes versus nobody. It's literally just Mahomes and the rest of the AFC. The entire AFC is just extremely talented quarterbacks that are all, like everyone's

trying to shape. It's Lamar. It's Herbert. It's Josh Allen. It's Burroughs. All these guys. And Burroughs come the closest by far. But like, it's brutal.

Anyway, you guys want an email on fighting animals? Yes. Okay. All right. That's from Joe. Joe. Joey. All right.

So we've been talking about what animals we could fight and who would win anyway. What animal could you chaos? We've been diluting ourselves about what animals we can fight. I think we've been pretty realistic. I said a capy bar. I thought that was like the biggest animal could knock out. I think it's the biggest animal could knock out. Didn't we begin by you saying you think you could take a gorilla or something?

No, it was how many... You said a ape. That's different. Oh, ape, which is still insane. Oh, I thought I could take an ape. They're like 100 pounds. I thought I could be an ape to fight. I'm a humans.

Like, I thought I could beat an ape to fight. No, they would kill me. I just, I don't know, man. They're like two feet tall. They're like apes or like 100 pounds? Yeah, that's my point. There's weight classes in fighting. for a reason. You can't even fight someone who's 10 pounds ever than you. Like, I thought

that mattered. No. Anyway, um, so what was the email? Oh, yeah, right. What was I talking about? Yeah. Joe says, I've been in a fight with a goose and I cannot, I've been in a fight with a goose. Joe said his name, I can take a goose. That's what I said. We were told me this. He says, his parents' neighbor has a pond. How slippery is it? What? How big is the arena? I feel like if you fall, you're down, like you're screwed. What is it going to do to you? Beak you? Jab your eyes out. They do. Beak you?

Yeah. Yeah. So you're saying yes. They'll bite you with their beaks. You mean stab. I'm not worried about the biting. I feel like I'm more worried about the poke and the bite. Even a chicken, I kind of wonder if they could poke.

Does they like whip their heads around? I think that's what giraffes do. Oh yeah. That's terrifying. You know giraffes are like functionally mute? They don't make sounds. Yeah. You know their bones are solid?

Are an elbow? Solid. together, you mean? Like, what do you mean? What do you mean? Aren't bones solid? No. What? I think you need to rephrase. Like, there's like, no, you know, there's like marrow in a...

Right. Giraffe bones are like just like solid rock. Oh, I thought you were saying like, we have cartilage bones or something. No, no, no. You just snap it over, it's all bone. It's just all bone. It's so they can protect themselves and kick. Oh, Jesus.

Predators. Like a giraffe kick and, like, kill a lion. Anyway, what we're talking about? Joe ran around the pond in his parents' neighborhood and he didn't realize there was a mama goose around all his goose things. And he says the goose attacked me. And he got rocked. Joe got fucking rocked.

And he said, Did he describe how the attack happened? Yeah. Okay. Flight is a massive advantage. Oh, that makes sense. He said guikis can fly. Yeah, that makes sense.

He was like the goose flew. it's very fast when it flies. Wow, I guess I didn't factor in that it could fly above you and it swooped down on you. Anger of a goose coming at you on the ground but like from the sky. Getting attacked by a drone. That's like real.

Yeah. Yeah, maybe we can't beat that many animals. Dude, I'm telling you. They have so many advantages physically. Animals do. I mean, yeah. Animals just have like a different kind of strength. They're just like built for combat more than we are.

Built. Built for combat. Yeah. So, like our skin just like tears super easily. Like we're just a sack of, like,

have you ever seen like a rhino's skin? Like, you can like take a bite from a lion and it like won't pierce it. Yeah, I mean, we're pretty soft. We're built deaf.

We are literally soft. Yeah. Physically soft. My skin is soft. Okay. Last one here. This is not an email, but just we wanted,

so the Olympics are going on. Yeah. We talked a few months ago about. I love the Olympics. The Olympics. Paris has crushed it. Like the volleyball court in front of the Eiffel Tower is incredible. I haven't watched the opening.

I missed the opening ceremony. But the pictures were amazing. The Seine River is just kind of full of poop. Yeah, what's with that? Why are people shitting in the Sen? Because they're mad? Yeah. You see the mayor of Paris that jumped in the sand to prove that it was like clean enough to swim in?

But when they did that and they said Macron was going to do it and then everyone's like, let's shit in the river. And then they were like, and then the guy started it was kind of like quite literally shitposting. And then people were going to do it. He's like, uh-oh. Yeah. Did I say this? He set up a website to help people time when to poop in the river so that it would float down. Really?

That was, they had him, I think they hadn't take it down. Is it true that I heard that they, for the last 48 hours leading up to the Olympics, they asked the people in Paris not to flush their toilets? Is that true? That's what I heard. Where are you hearing, miss? Sort of saying. Yeah.

We're going to get like, we love French wastewater treatment employees. I don't know. Anyway, I want to ask guys because we're talking about how the Olympic Villary is. is like they're just having sex and they had like 100,000 condoms or whatever. Yeah. And then I saw that they have anti-sex beds at the Olympics. What? They're made out of cardboard.

Yeah, so they made out a cardboard. Just like really uncomfortable to have sex on? So they're claiming, people are claiming. They'll figure it out. You can stand up. Yeah. These people are the most athletic people in the world. They're not having regular sex.

These are the most flexible people on earth. They will figure it out. Yeah. They'll get more creative. Life finds a way. It actually might be more fun for them now because it's like a little bit of a challenge. It's become a sport. That's an unappreciousal Olympic sport. Yeah.

Well, so we were saying, would you rather, because we were talking about how if you finish, like, your events on the second. I thought you were going somewhere else. If you finish. I was like, who. But if you finish your events on like the second day, you're still there until the closing ceremony. And you're just in the Olympic Village and you have the hottest youngest people in the world are all together. And you're just hanging out for three weeks? And it's like, would you rather win a gold on the last day or win a bronze on the first day and just have like 10 days in Paris in the Olympic Village? Does everybody have to stay? Does everybody have to stay till the end?

I'm not like the rules guy, I don't know. But I think they can. For the closing ceremony? Yeah. Or is it only if you like win and, you know, you're going to be on the podium? I did training for four years and not staying the whole time. No, I think. I think, I think.

Because the closing ceremony, they're all there. They're all there. Okay. Or is it just the people who medal? No. No, I think it stays. Yeah. So if you just absolutely botched day one at the Olympics and you're just out.

Bosted it. Boshed it. You just hang around and feeling like shit for three weeks. Oh my God. I don't know. if you have to. Yeah, what would you do? Do those photos of the people like their, what event was it? Oh, is the fencing, like women's fencing, or whatever the French word for fencing is, I don't know,

but there was the bronze medal match. Just, you know, you still want a medal. And the woman won, like, it's to 15, and it was, like, close. And it was just her screaming in, there's like a thousandth of these, but it's her screaming in celebration. And the woman behind her, like, takes your mask off and it's bawling. Because you didn't get a medal for your country. And, yeah, she just stays.

That sucks. Yeah. I mean, it's tough, obviously. You just got to, like, stew in your failure for three weeks? And just get DM by all the rugby players on Tinder. Dude, it'd be cool if they had like a specific like Olympics dating app. Oh, it's just Raya. But Raya's just the Olympic Village.

Yeah. Yeah. Olympic Village sponsored by Raya on other athletes. That'd be cool. 200 rugby players just running around. All right. Any other Olympic stuff? There's just so many sports in the Olympics that you never realize. Yeah.

Breakdancing is a sport this year in the Olympics. Are you serious? Yes. And I was thinking what sport, if you had four years to train for the 2028 LA Olympics, you can quit your job. It's all you do. Somebody will pay you half a million dollars a year exclusively to train for the Olympics

to qualify in any event you can. Half a million dollars a year. What event do you think you are most likely to qualify for? Oh my God. First of all, this is highly insulting to the people that are in the Olympics. No, it's not. Who cares? But they're not listening.

Badminton? Dude, that stuff looked hard, dude. Those guys are good. Yeah, all of these sports, it's hard. It's the Olympics. You know, badminton goes 200 miles an hour? Snoop docks said that yesterday. Really?

200 miles an hour. What about squash? That's a good one, guys. I don't really know. It's basically racquetball. Because I feel like the Winter Olympics is easy because it's curling. I could be a curling.

I don't care what anyone says. It's 100% curling. I can do that, Josh. I don't want to. I think if you had four years, you could learn equestrian jumping. I'm afraid of horses. Wait, is dressage in the Olympics?

Yes. That one, the horse is just kind of dancing. I know. Actually, I was thinking about this last night. I was watching the Olympics on the way down here. And I was like, Do they give the medal to the horse, too? Because he's doing a lot of the work.

Yeah. Especially with dressage. I mean, the jockeys are like 60 years old. Like, come on. Yeah, we could do that. Let's just do this by age. Yeah. If you're...

Did you see there's a really old... There's like a 58-year-old ping-pong player from Chile, a woman. Oh, ping-pong. Ping-pong looks hard. No, no shot ping-pong. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, those guys are so good.

What about sailing? Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Four years of all I do is sail every day. You know what else I was thinking about? Rowing. You just do exactly what the... person in front of you does.

You have someone exactly You have an incredible like incredible, like, you just do exactly why that's what the four years are for. No, rowing,

you, there is a base level like physical build that you need to have. That's what the four years are for. But you can't be six four in four years. Not with that attitude.

Those dudes are like long, lean and ripped. It's like, those guys are athletic. Michael Phelps how he's like perfectly like built in a lab to be a swimmer.

Yeah. The rowers are all like long, it's like the Winklevoss twins were rowers. you gotta be huge you gotta be big there's four of me yeah shooting

oh the skiing and shooting oh the biathlon can you learn how to shoot in four years I feel like you could what do you think is the hearts but like are we talking like you could be the worst person in the Olympics

no like if the goal is to meddle oh meddling oh my god like I just want to qualify well that's what the winter Olympics are for like there's like really rich people who just like enter like really obscure sports and what about canoeing

isn't that just like is that different They're rowing? Canoing's like the mountain biking of water. Canoons like they're going through like a stream. It's canoe slalom, right? Yeah, it's hard, dude. Honestly, just weaving through stuff? There were trees in the middle of that stuff.

It looks hard. I think sailing is it. What is the sailing competition? Sailing's the most likely for you to die in trading. Sailing seems really dangerous. Sailing seems hard. What is the actual competition with sailing at the Olympics? Is it like, what is the goal?

Like, how do you compete? Dude, I don't even get how you sail against the wind, man. I don't know. I don't know how sailing works. I don't think you do, right? You go with the wind. No, they're, they've, Spanish, forget this time.

Like, 40 years ago. You think they just got to, like, across the ocean by just being like, yeah, we hope the winds like that the whole time. I guess that's fair. Surfing is a little bit like that, too, though, because you have to find, like, a good way of. Dude, did you see the place they're surfing on is called the wall of skulls? In Fiji? Yeah.

That's not scary. Or not Fiji. Maybe it is. I don't know. I think it's in Fiji. Oh, they're in Tahiti? What do you think is the hardest sport? What sport could you, there's, like, no shot?

Obviously, like weightlifting, gymnastics. Weightlifting, gymnastics. The NBA. Well, yeah. Please, dude, South Sudan almost beat the America. You think I could just be the fifth on the U.S. team? Honestly, yeah. Sit in the corner.

Just the swing guard. I mean, I don't know, dude, like, just like the 100 in track. Oh, wait, we got this. We got this. Hello. I think that might be it. I just. Artistic swimming.

Oh, what's the, uh, artistic swimming? That'd be hard. What's the gymnastics one where you just kind of dance? Rhythmic, no. Rhythmic gymnastics? Dude, artistic swimming. Do I have a shot at that? Can I ask you a really?

There's artistic, rhythmic, rhythmic, and trampoline. No shot I could do trampoline. Dude, wait, we got this, we got this. If you actually mean this, like, if you had to pick one, your life is at stake and you're like, you really have to meddle, the answer is handball. You could be the worst handball player on the best handball team of the world. You think I could?

I think you could make you make you make your handball team. If you were going to pick something, I feel like that has to be the one you pick. Just stand in front of Craig. You already know to throw. I mean, all those guys are probably dudes who, like, couldn't play all the other sports. Yeah, exactly. Maybe they grew up in a place where handball was. popular, Craig.

No. And no other sports were? Question. Question for you. And I'm being actually serious. Okay. Do you think it would be harder for you to train and go into the 100 meter race or? To my track?

Yeah. And be good or? No, like to metal. And the 100 meters or in skateboarding. Whoa. I mean, the 100 meters is physically impossible. I have no shot. Do I have four years to train?

Yeah. Like, I honestly think it's. track. Get out of here. Dude, me against Naja Houston, it would never work. I would never get there. But like skateboarding. There's like a level of coordination that I will just never have skateboarding.

You could at least argue that I could just steroid myself for four years and work with the best trainers in the world. And maybe I could run 100 meters really fast. I think the problem is that in theory, it sounds insane to be like, oh, I could meddle in the world. Like there's no, we've literally zero shot of meddling and running. But the problem is that Craig and I are both like afraid to die. And there's just a vibe skateboarders have that they're just like, yeah, whatever, man.

I was watching the skateboarding last night It is insane the stuff they do Dude can I tell you what made me feel really old Watching the gymnastics And they had all the people in the crowd Sean White has this really like Mature looking haircut Sean White does it

And I was like you know what Yeah he's really grown up Cut his hair I was like I'm old now Like Sean White should not look like Like he's a good How does I think a business man Is sailing like you need to like Get to a point in the water

And turn around and it like a speed thing? Like, how does it work? I think that's the general gist of it, yeah. It's just like go there and back the fastest? Dude, that's so hard. No, I know, but I'm just saying, is that what it is? Yeah. I think so. It's just like, you go a mile that way, around the corner.

Email us at ringer fantasy football at gmail.com, you know about sailing? I think the answer's handball. I'm picking that, and I think it's the right choice. You don't think it's sailing? I'm picking shooting. No, because for, dude, sailing requires no athleticism. You spent three months learning the words of what a boat are. Yes, it does. You have to, like, do all

the roping and the rigging and everything, you have to move around. How to sail. You think you have to be like an athlete to do that? I'm Googling how to sail. I mean, you can get strong. You don't have to be athletic. Do you think every sailor ever is super athletic? It would take Craig like a year to bring a boat into harbor. Who else? Who else can we insult now? That's what you think. Look, the goal is to metal. That's why we're here right now. Canoeing. Dude, can watch the canoeing. I haven't actually watched it. Watch the canoeing. Really scary. Yeah, no shot with canoeing. I'm looking at the list of Olympic sports.

It's a 17-foot catamaran. Athletics is a 17-foot catamaran. With hydrofoil dagger boards and winglets. Don't what that means. Yeah, me neither. We have to learn. All right. Should we look at this guy here?

Let us know. Thank you, D.K., thank you, Craig. Thank you. Everyone behind the scenes. Thank you, Kai. Thank you, Jonathan. Thank you, Jack Wilson. Oh, wow.

This sailing thing looks way harder when you look at the slow. Yeah. That looks difficult. throws up on Spotify. Yeah. This is like borderline wind surfing. What do you think it was like? Well, it's called sailing.

Wind surfing is a different sport. What is the sail? It's not a surfing on the wind. Sailing and wind surfing are different things. How different, though? The concept is super similar. I'm just saying, if it was wind-serving and they used the same.

They use wind to move in the water. Those are completely different. They seem like similar. They seem the same family. I guess email us if you think wind surfing and sailing are the same thing. So it's a weird little hell to die on. Wind surfing, nothing like sailing. Well, I'm just saying, in my head, sailing is like a broader term to me.

Like, when I think of sailing, it can kind of mean many things. Wind surfing, I think of one specific thing. Right. Yeah, a very small boat for one person. It's not a boat? It's not. But it's like a flat floating thing. Functionally, this is wind surfing.

This is like small sailing. Sailing for people don't have a boat. Yeah, but when I also think of sailing, I think of like a long wooden ship with a giant wheel that you... Yeah, that's not the Olympics. Old wooden ship. My point is that surfing is as a broader, there's a wider net of like what surfing could mean. You took a surfing class in college, didn't you? No.

Oh, you just offered it? We're also talking about sailing. But there is. What are we talking about? They did offer sailing at SDSU and my friend, my roommate did take it. I would have, but it was like 7 a.m. on Saturdays. And I was like, what? F that.

I was not fucking doing that. Thank you, Lord. Lord. Thank you, House of Pain. Nice. Jump around. Which is what we would all be in if we tried to do Olympic sports. I got up I used to know all those lyrics

I came to win I don't mean that's a sick They used to play that When the Pittsburgh Penguins Score to go ahead Go ahead Put your hands up Sorry

No they play that when the penguin scored a goal And it's like a huge Pittsburgh thing And they changed it to Party Heart by Andrew W.K Oh yeah Hell yeah Great song

Controversial though We could take WinServing lessons in L.A. Oh my God Should we do this? No No We're going to take handball lessons instead.

Yeah, let's concentrate on something realistic here. Goodbye, everyone. Must be 21 plus, 18 plus in D.C. and present in select states. Fandul is offering online sports wagering in Kansas under an agreement with Kansas Star Casino, LLC. Gambling problem. Call 1-800 gambler or visit fandul.com. RG and Colorado, D.C., Illinois, Iowa, Kentucky, Michigan, New Jersey, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Vermont, and Virginia.

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