The Ringer NFL Show - Waiver Wire Pickups for Week 14

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

SHOWDOWN TIME! Must-add players at each position ahead of NFL Week 14 (2:07). “You guys want to do some emails?” (48:34) Check out The Ringer’s Fantasy Football Rankings for positional rankings, waiver wire pickups, and much more! RB: Ezekiel Elliott (Patriots), Ty Chandler (Vikings), and Keaton Mitchell (Ravens) (2:51) WR: Romeo Doubs (Packers), Elijah Moore (Browns), and Jalin Hyatt (Giants) (13:03) TE: Isaiah Likely (Ravens), Chigo Okonkwo (Titans), and Michael Mayer (Raiders) (24:13) QB: Jameis Winston (Saints) and Matthew Stafford (Rams) (31:46) D/ST: Houston Texans, Green Bay Packers, New England Patriots, and Indianapolis Colts (32:16) Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please check out theringer.com/RG to find out more or listen to the end of the episode for additional details. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Social: Kiera Givens and Jack Sanders Producer: Kai Grady Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The ringer gambling feat is your one-stop shop for all things betting throughout the NFL season. From week one all the way through Super Bowl 58 in Las Vegas, we have you covered every which way. We've got our favorite futures. We've got props. We'll discuss the lines. And, of course, we'll throw in a few parlase. That's a given. So whether you're a sharp or a square better, we'll be breaking it down in terms.

Hopefully, everybody can understand. And we'll try to win some money along the ways. So be sure to subscribe to the Ring of Gambling Feed on Spotify or wherever you get your podcast. Welcome to the Ring of Fantasy Football Show. My name is Danny Hyphitz, and I am joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Coralbeck and we are going through our must-add players

at our week 14. That's crazy, week 14. Final week of the regular season for fantasy football, which is good sense to say that it's true. Only two teams are by Washington and Arizona. So we're going to help you win your must-win matchups in week 14 and then also help you prep for the playoffs a little bit. also because fantasy

it's crazy, it's winding down. We cover the rest of the season too. We probably should have a different, I don't know, like a little more obvious, you know, fantasy football, but we also do real football and weird businesses that we come up with too. But we'll talk about that later.

But we can I keep doing this trivia episode on Mondays through the rest of the regular season? The Sunday night recap. Was that a piss club reference? Maybe. Perhaps. You know, who knows? I don't know.

Gentlemen, it's only for gentlemen, but yes. Well, I'm a gentleman, but I'm just saying, I don't know, like, look, one day maybe they'll be like the presenting sponsor of the show, you know, you never know. Full circle. We got our Sunday recaps and weekend previews through the Super Bowl and also do the all season. Coach is getting fired. People getting traded. Of course, the NFL draft, Caleb Williams, Drake, May, Marvin Harrison, and then also like there's 250 other players that get drafted.

We'll talk about them too. But for right now, we're into week 14. And if you haven't made the playoffs yet, obviously, we're going to talk about winning this week. But we're also going to try to hint that, you know, looking ahead of week 15, if you know you're going to make the playoffs week 16. if you know you're going to get a buy. So with all that said, we're going to go through position by position. Going to pick our players, little trivia tiebreaker. We pick the same guys.

Email us for your fantasy football, gm.com. If you have a trivia question. And we do the trivia first because it makes more sense. Though I wanted to run Craig. You're the Showdown Time Master with the Gong and everything. I wanted to run it by Dan, who also is in D.C. emailed to say, Dan. Dan.

And said, because it was cooler when you were like, The Jay didn't read. Showdown time. Like the great dork. And now there's no name. So what if we read the name of the emailer? So what if it was like the person who emailed us in? Running Back Showdown time.

Oh, that's fun. I saw somebody else suggest that I could say like it's the week. It's the week 14 running back showdown time. But the emailer is kind of fun. Yes. Let's try it this week and we'll check feedback and we'll see what we get. Who do we have? Who's sent it in this week?

Eric for the little Eric Running Back Showdown time. Eric. So, okay. So, all right, let's give this a shot. So we're just going to Eric. No, first initial last name. I guess that's too much. It is the Eric running back showdown time.

Does that work? I don't know. I don't know how that felt. It's like Eric's running back showdown time. That makes more sense. Yeah, give him a little ownership. It's their trivia. Okay.

It is Eric's running back showdown time. I like that one more. In the contemporary masterpiece, Shots by LMFAO. How many times do they say the word shots? Wow. I felt like we've asked this question before. I think we got it once, but there's no chance any of us remember. There's no way I'll remember it.

Okay. Well, we just count. Okay. I have an idea. Shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot. Everybody. But then there's in the, in the, in the. And between the chorus, it goes,

I'm ready for some shots. Oh, you're right. Yes, they say it more than just a chorus. All right, I'm ready. Yeah. All right. Three, two, one. One, 240.

Of course, went high. I said 140. Who said 240? I said 250. Oh, my God. That's high. I was worried. I was high at 140.

I said 250. Maybe this is like one of those six-minute songs. You never know. Extended edition. The director's cut. What did you say, if it's 140? I said 140. I think it's a 250.

You said what, 66? 66. The answer is 77. Let's go. I am on an absolute eater. Gotta make these questions harder for Craig. Yeah, also don't forget, Kai gets to pick one of our groups of players that we pick here.

And if he doesn't pick the high-scoring group of players, we'd make him eat foods that he doesn't eat. Yes. And we will check in with that later. because there have been some interesting developments this week. Some exciting news. Kai might be trying a new food this week. So Craig, who's your number one running back you're going to take?

Oh, God. I'm going to take Zeke Elliott, which I don't feel good about, but I know. It's so awful. Remandre Stevenson hurt his ankle. It didn't look great. And the Patriots play Thursday night against the Steelers. So I doubt Armandre is going to be ready. Zeke might be washed, you know, but he had 17 carries.

He had four catches, almost 100 yards this week against the Chargers. The offense is miserable, but I mean, they pretty much have no other running backs on the team. They signed you Michael Hasty a couple weeks ago, but there is not a lot going on in New England. Yeah. Yeah, so, and look, the Steelers are a more vulnerable defense than their name would suggest they are,

than the history of the Steelers suggest they are. They're actually a little bit of Swiss cheese. So, yeah, sure. I'll go with the 15 carries off the waiver wire. Like, that's as good as you're going to get. Sure. Yeah, it's gross, but, you know, It's definitely a beggars to choose your situation.

The only thing is it's annoying when you have to get it. Any port in a storm, you know what I mean? Exactly. One annoying thing is when you're probably, if you're plugging and playing someone at week 14, it's probably like you have injuries, but then if you don't know those guys are going to play, then you have to make the call on Zeke on Thursday, which is just if he ends up with the six points, you're just staring at the six for three days. And then you're like, up, Ken Walker play it anyway.

And that's really sad, but he's definitely the best option. I heard that phrase over Thanksgiving, I was home. And my dad, my parents have two dogs. One is a dachshund. that's like a puppy. And she just goes around and lays with everybody on the couch. Like she just wants to be as warm as possible. So it's like if somebody gets up and she was laying with them,

she'll go and find a different person to lay with. And I was joking about that. And my dad goes, he says, yeah, any port in a storm. And I was like, damn, that is such a good dad phrase.

Like, I don't know where you get those. Like, when you're 40 years old, do you just like, do they just like download a bunch of dad phrases into your brain in the 40? I don't know. There's a class.

You take like notical. It's a bunch of nautical stuff, usually. An ancient Rome. Right. They wake you up in the middle of the night and take you away to some secret island. It's a right of passage. Yeah.

D.K. Or no, wait, I'm next. You're up next. Yeah, wait. I get, uh, this one's weird too. I'm torn between two people here, which is, so we're recording this Monday. You might want the extra Tuesday to make decisions. So Tage Spears is the Titans is better than Zeke on a week-to-week basis as long as Derek Henry is out.

but Mike Vrabel said today, the coach of the Titans, that Derek Henry's not in concussion protocol. And so if Derek Kennedy's not concussion protocol and he's going to play, I wouldn't play Tajay Spears. I would still add him just because Henry's banged up. But Tadier Spir's got 100% of the snaps

when Derek Henry left the game. If Derek Henry played, I think Tashy Spears might get all of the backfield touches. But now that we know Derek Henry's not concussion protocol, if I actually need points, I think I would take Tide Chandler, the running back on the Vikings, man. I mean, Ty Chandler,

it's not incredible. incredibly sexy, but like he has half the backfill of Minnesota. They just came off a buy. He's better than Alex Madison. And his last game wasn't great, but Josh Dobbs kind of had the long coming meltdown game. But Todd Chandler's fine. I think he's better than Madison. And he's going to get touches.

And I think he's just like a down and dirty way to just kind of have 10 points. I feel like the, the Vikings schedule for the next couple of weeks matches up well for Ty Chandler being pretty good too. They're at the Raiders at the Bengals, whose defense has been struggling. and then against Detroit, whose defense has been struggling. So it lines up well for him. So you're going with Chandler?

I would because it's weird. And again, if you're listening to Monday, use common sense here because it's Monday. But like if Derek Henry's fine, I wouldn't be playing Taji Spiris this week. If Derek Henry was out, Tajie Spiris is absolutely.

I think Craig would have taken him first. You know what I mean? Right. Yeah. Right. All right. So I'm going to go with Roshan Johnson for the Bears. Last week,

he was on by this week. last week before that, he sort of emerged as the de facto leadback for the bears, 10 carries plus five targets and five catches for 40 yards. Obviously, this is another situation where it's like the bear's offense isn't necessarily going to give him a huge ceiling. But I like the fact that he's utilized heavily in the passing game. He's their best pass protector, which I think helps him, or at least it doesn't guarantee him, but it gets him on the field a lot more in passing situations.

And there's just a chance that he sort of passed a torch to him as the lead back now. I think the wrinkle here that makes me not so sure on him is that if Deonté Foreman comes back, you know, he could take over the lead back duties and kind of like ruin this plan. And or Khalil Herbert is still around and they might have him play a little bit more next week because I think he was coming off an injury. Maybe they were just easing him in and we'll see. But I don't know. There's just always the chance Rochon Johnson is just now the starter for the bears. And so I want to pick him up and plug him in and hope for the best.

That's a great call. And Rochon also just doesn't have the normal rookie skill set or usage where rookies come in and I feel like it's the last thing the rookies get is the trusted role as like a receiver pass blocker on like long down situations. It's like that's the thing you have the 27 year old who's never going to eat your quarterback killed and the bears are like, yeah, whatever, I don't care about this Justin Fields guy anyway and they just have a rookie out there like being the past catching guy. So Rochon's good.

And then there's also just a bunch of handcuffs like Elijah Mitchell in case McCaffrey gets hurt for San Francisco, Rico Dattle for the Cowboys. And we're recording this Monday. We haven't seen the game yet. But Travis ETSN, obviously, if he's been hurt in the interim. Like Deionis Johnson, if anything happened, ETIN, I think would be like the lead back there. Yeah, DJ Dallas, if Kenneth Walker doesn't play and Zach Sharbonnet, who got banged up, yeah, Kenneth Gainwell, DeAndh Chuf left the game with an injury against the Niners.

Yeah. So Kenneth Gainwell, obviously, maybe Rashad Penny down the road, I'm telling you, the stars are aligning. Never wrong, only early, Craig. But Dallas is the guy in that group to monitor because you're between, like, Zach Charbonneigh just got injured on that Thursday football game. He's got a little more time to recover. But then Ken Walker almost played Thursday, so he's got 10 days to recover too. But the Seahawks play the 49ers and then the Eagles. Take for that what you will. Like I'm kind of a 40- Do with that what you will. And then the only other guy, Keaton Mitchell, who is the running

back for the Ravens, they are playing the Rams next week. He's been decent. He is a little bit more rostered on Yahoo. But if you're on ESPN, he's a little bit less rostered. So another guy who is kind I was like starting to take over as the main guy. He pretty much is getting half the reps in Baltimore right now. If Mitchell's out there and like someone cut him on by, like, because the Ravens didn't play this week, would you take him or like Russian Johnson, D.K.

D.K., you can have him. He's under 40% on the issue. You can have them that you want. But then I get a point because I recommended him. I get the bonus point. Craig is just saving these in his holster. Let's see. They got the Rams in week 14.

So this is a close one. I'm going to switch to Keith Mitchell. Give Craig the point. Ding. But I think Rochon's up there too. I like Rochon. So, but like, I don't know, Keith Mitchell's just so funny,

so explosive. And like you said, he kind of took over the leadback role in that last game. And if he's out there, go grab him for sure. And also, last but not least, for stash purposes,

I don't know if Hyatt's apologize. I apologize if you mentioned him already. But Antonio Gibson on the commanders, they are on by this week. But Brian Robinson heard his ankle, I believe, and didn't return. And Antonio Gibson became the guy and was already playing enough

to probably be like a fringe flex guy but if Brian Robinson is out Antonio Gibson is probably like a decent second running back on your roster. Yeah, Gibson's definitely a stash. And again, keep in mind, like, start planning ahead based on like the potential things that can happen with you if you need to win this week

or if you have an odd, like if you're going to make the playoffs and you're not going to get a buy, then, but you've got to make the playoffs, that's start planning for week 15. But then if you might get a first round by, start looking at week 16. We can talk through that. But that's an example where Gibson's like really great if you don't need anything.

It's estate planning. If you're already a lock for the playoffs, you're a state planning. Boom. Wide receiver. First of all, we got this trivia question is from Brandon. Brandon. Okay, so, all right, let's do this. So it is Brandon's wide receiver showdown time.

Do we like that? I don't know. Does it hit? I don't know. I think, yeah. Maybe try on the week 14 one next time. Brandon's week 14 wide receiver. No, that's too many.

That's too many syllables. Wide receiver week 14, Brandon doesn't make any sense. No, no, I'm saying. Just switch it to, it's either Brandon's receiver showdown time or week 14 receiver showdown time. All right.

Since the merger, the Detroit loins shut up in Seleck, who scooped the Lions pick and then said the ones. But the Detroit Lions are 0 and 13 on Thanksgiving Day when the moon is in its waxing gibbous phase. Naturally.

What year did people first start using the term waxing gibbis to describe a moon? God damn it. Basically, how old is the term waxing gibbis? See, this is an old school ringer fantasy football show trivia question because now I feel like all of them are about like modern things or football. Back in the day, like two years ago when we first started doing this, it was like how much does a cloud way and how old are trees. Yeah. When was Nintendo founded? How old are trees?

Okay Waxing Gibbis Is that how you say that word? I believe so I'm not the pronunciation guy But I truly have no idea So we started giving a year Or how many years ago

How many years ago? Is this like this is basically like Like when did astronomy become prominent? Well I don't know how old the term waxing I don't know what waxing gibbis means to be honest No I don't think anyone does Scholars

Just got waxed It's an old wooden ship I could be wrong but I believe it's an old, old wooden ship All right, three, two, one. 1917 17, 17, 79 I said 1971, would you say, Craig? I said 1729.

The opposite. We kind of way all over the place here. Would you say, D.K. I said 1910. The answer is, my goodness is that Latin 90 16 Craig what the fuck man

I am cooking what is a waxing gibbis let Craig cook it's the yeah somebody between a half moon and a full moon waxing means it's getting bigger it's between a half moon and a full moon

so it's a three quarters moon yeah yeah I don't know why they didn't say that we should just say waxing more. Just bring that back. Waxing gibbis? We got to find the players this year that are waxing gibbuss.

So it was 16 something. So Craig gets pick one. Who are you going? What's embarrassing is that I won all three, I believe, last week, and I spoiler alert, I didn't win the Kai showdown. So, and if that happens, if I go six and O and lose two weeks in a row, that's embarrassing. I'm going to take, I'm going to take Romeo Dobbs on the Packers.

Christian Watson heard his hamstring and a really like a really innocuous hamstring He was trying to go down Yeah And I thought he was Like he kind of just came to a kneel And I was like oh what like a very smooth way

To kind of just like go down to save clock Or to run clock And then he grabbed his hamstring Seems to have a really hamstring issue Christian Watson But yeah I'm gonna go Dobbs He's got seven touchdowns on the year It's fifth in the league

They're playing the Giants he had a 72 yards this week first the Chiefs and he's gonna be the number one guy even Jaden Reed the rookie receiver that he had a little banked up Musgraves had that nice catch

that Collinsworth fawned over where Love threaded it from above like he threw it from a helicopter into Dobbs arms and he got Dobbs kind of hit in the head and chest at the same time and Dobbs kind of laid there like Danny Glover lethal weapon

was like I'm too old for the shit just like laid on the ground it was like god damn it Jordan but no he's probably the right pick right here yeah I like that one and Reed too if he's out there is another option I was trying to see

I think Dobs is one of the top players in the NFL this year and end zone targets too Like they just He just loves George loves throwing it to To Dobbs in the end He's the new James Jones He's sixth in in the league

In touchdowns per route run He has 12 end zone targets Which is seventh in the NFL Yeah he's James Jones Also one of the last wide receivers That wears a number of the 80s Is what is he 87? Yeah

I think so I'm going to go with shit There's so many guys To choose from this week This is just not Running back there are guys You can plug and play receiver

There's not Like if you have to plug and play Dobs you can play Yeah I think you'd feel good Hopefully you don't have to If you have Chris Godwin on your team And you add Romeo Dobbs

You should play Dobs Yeah I'm gonna go God I'm gonna go with Elijah Moore Even though I like Yeah Finally he made it

Yeah baby. Oh my God. So he had a 29% target share. Season high, 83 yards. He caught four of 12 targets. I was saying on the show last night. He's a messy receiver.

Every time I look up, there's a pass going through his hands. But you cannot ignore. In fact, you had 12 fucking targets in this last game. And I'm just going to be assuming that the Browns stick with Flacco for another week here. It sounds like Dorian Thompson Robinson is still in the concussion protocol as of Monday. So if Joe Flacco is still the quarterback, I'm going to feel even better about this because Flacco clearly trusts more

and looks for him. And I don't feel great about it, but yeah, I'm going with more just because of that connection with Flacco. If Flacco didn't play, would you ever, would you play Elijah Moore? Probably not. No.

If Flacco doesn't play, then I'm switching gears. Flacco is kind of the key, you know? Yeah, Flacco's the straw that starts to drink. Elijah Moore's like this week was the third time he's gone over 80 yards in his entire career, which kind of blows my mind for Elijah Moore. Also, Amari Cooper, level of the concussion.

He has posted, Elijah Moore's had nine plus ppr, half ppr points in three out of last four games. So it's not like he's totally worthless without Flacco. He just has a higher ceiling, I think, with Flacco. Flacco's back. Flacco's back. I think the,

so if you want to stash a receiver, if you're kind of thin there, you like beyond this week, you go Curtis Samuel for Washington if you wanted. But if you're going to play someone, I don't know why, but like I would, I think I actually would take Khalil Shakir for the Bills. He just, that's just the guy. He's fine. I'm not going to pretend he's good, but if you actually needed a plug and play, it's just the bill schedule, man. It's like the bills are just

going to be on all these shootouts, like these games they're coming up. And I just feel like he is the other like big play option they have other than Gabe Davis after Diggs. And he's a guy that I, I just watch him play. I'm like, he's good. And I feel like the buy week the bills just had they might get the ball more. But it might be smarter if I took Greg Dorch for the court. Dorch for the Cardinals. Because Marky's Brown is a heel injury. And then it's like their number one receiver is basically Trey McBride at the tight end. And after that, I just feel like it's going to be Greg Dorch, who, you know, he's no, he's no part Pierce, Greg Dorch. But no, um, carnels are on by, um,

but I do like this as a, as a stash. Yeah, it's like, that's the thing. It's like you come back. It, my real answer is like, I hope you don't have to play any of these people. Well, who you take it? I guess it's James and Williams for the Lions. If we don't feel great. You can tell by our, tone, I think, that we don't feel great about any of these choices. To tell you the truth, we always do this with, I mean, the point of this, you know, if the point of this is to, like, get you a player off

waivers who could have an immediate impact, the running backs we just talked about all totally could like fit in your lineup at a flex or something. But frankly, there are 30 teams playing. And the teams that are off, there are only two, what, three receivers that are going to, or no, there's, how many receivers are on by this week that are coming

out of your lineup? Washington, Terry McLaure is just at zero. I don't, John Dotson was only playing for you because six teams were on by. And then Marquis Brown is, you know what I mean? Like I just Curtis Samuel, I guess. Yeah, I'm dubious that anyone needs these people. So I'm kind of hopefully that you don't. You know, I guess James and William's sure.

But in time we're recommending a receiver because he had a good carry. That's kind of bad. Do you think about Jalen Hyatt? Yeah, you could stash. Tommy DeVito ride. Yeah. Let's get on that. I mean, even when Tyra Taylor came in, Jilline Hyatt immediately got better.

Yeah, honestly, Hyatt's probably a better pick than. Yeah, sure. I'll give you a point, D.K. I'll just take Jalen Hyatt. But I wouldn't play him. Oh, hell yeah. Wow, point for D.K. Yeah. Also, we should mention Noah Brown on the Texans, who is available in some leagues right now. And Tank Dell just broke his leg and is out for the year.

Yeah, that sucks. Noah Brown has had, you know, back-to-back games of 150-plus yards not too long ago. So it's going to be Nico Collins, Noah Brown and John Mechie. Because rubber ones didn't play a ton. Noah Brown's a good example of a stash because, I don't think I would have the confidence to play Noah Brown, especially with the Texas against the Jets in week 14. But if Noah Brown did anything against the Jets,

then the Texans play the Titans in week 15. And that's an example where actually you could get away with it if you had to. That's solid. Also, Rashid Shahid for the Saints, where it not that I would play him and he's banged up. But if James Winston is starting a game with Rashid Jihad, Rashid Jihad's going to set a career high in Detroit. But again, all that with the context of these guys kind of suck

and I wouldn't really want to play any of them. The other guy would add is Jonathan Mingo for the Panthers who had his best game as pro last week. Four catches for 60 yards. Quentin's 16 catches for 60 yards. Oh, my fault. Six catches for 60 yards. Yeah, baby.

Career highs for Mingo. Oh, sorry, I was looking at last week's line. You're right. I don't want any of these guys. I would feel very nervous about anything in the Panthers offense, of course. But you mean, yeah. So that excellent sales pitch. Yeah, we hate these receivers.

Oh, people got to know. They're bad. I kind of don't mind him. I feel like Hyvitz isn't a more down mood than I am about the ride receivers. He's still sad about tank. Dude, the beginning of the year with waivers, we had guys like Pooka Nakuwa. We had like, I mean, Josh Downs is doing really well. Tank Dell was on waivers.

Like, they were like quality guy, like Rishi Rice is just on waivers. These guys, can we, can we, let's end on a high note for receivers. Is Jamestead Williams the fastest player alive? Did you see? He looked shot out of a cannon on that touchdown. That was insane how fast he looked. We got to figure out like what he hit top speed on that run. because that was like insane.

He took like an end around and scored a touchdown and he was running twice as fast as anyone else on the field. 100%. Looks great. I wish they would get him the ball more, but Detroit is too many players. They're slowly but surely working a bit more, but you're right.

It's like he's behind Leporta who's awesome. Obviously, I'm on Ross St. Brown. Plus I got two running backs and catch passes. So it's kind of tough. All right, tight end. This question is from Ty. But maybe we said, Ty. Ty?

Yeah, Craig, you freestyle here. It is the tie. And showdown time. Pretty good. Good pun. I hope Ty enjoyed that. Ty sent a screenshot of his team. And 12-team league, he's very competitive.

And he said, I want you to guess my record, which I'll just shorten you guys, guess how many wins this team as? The team is, his quarterback is Jalen Hertz. Tye's running backs are Alvin Kamara, Kairn Williams, and Devon A. Chan. His receivers are A.J. Brown. Tyree Kill. and Jemar Chase and his tight ends,

Trey McBride. What do you think? How many wins do you think he has? It's a 12 team league. 12 team league. And he has A.J. Brown, Tyree Kill, and J. Mara, Kieran, Williams, and A. N. H.N., and then Hertz and McBride.

It would help to have, it helps to know his other players that he's playing when Kamara, Kairn, A. And McBride were not in his lineup. Well, that's why I can't tell if this is going to be he's 12 and O or he's like five and seven. Yeah. All right.

You ready? Yeah. How many wins? Two, one. Five. Oh, right. I was supposed to eight. Oh, cool. You just take the easy higher number to secure yourself. His record is six and six. Okay.

Let's go. I think that's so funny. So wait, High Fitz and I are both two away. I'm one away. I know. Craig wins. But like, I think I should get it because High Fitz waited so long to guess. I agree.

I think I should get it because I go through the emails and get these questions every week. You do your job. Good job. Congratulations, I think. But I just, I like this, I like this question because I thought it was... It just shows how ridiculous fantasy is. Also, this team looks fucking amazing. It's so stupid. It's like, you know who he is? He's the Buffalo Bills, the fantasy football. Yeah. Yeah.

You know what I mean? His point differential is probably insane. Every game he wins, he probably wins by 60, but he had a couple weird weeks for Kyron was out, A. Chan was out. A.J. Brown had like two bad weeks in a row. He's probably losing all those weeks and of course going up against the guy who had the best, you know, game of the week and the rest of his league. I'm sure he's just been like super unlucky. Is he going to make the playoffs? Because this guy's going to win his fucking league. Well, that's what I was saying. I feel like in a lot of leagues, I mean, I'm curious about you guys. I think there are a lot of leagues where the best team is actually set like six and six or seven to five.

Like I actually think that is a trend where there are a lot of teams that if they make the playoffs are like the favorite, but they might get the last seed in the playoffs. The team no one wants to play. I think that's usually how it goes in fantasy. To me, there is always the team that like week eight, week nine, they're like seven and one, eight and one. That team never actually ends up winning because the odds of, of like sustaining that hot streak is just, it's just unlikely or in injuries play a factor. It's usually, it's like real football high fits. It's like, who is the healthiest down the stretch? And that's the team that usually wins. And it feels especially true this year where you have this weird combination of Camara being suspended

the beginning of the year. And then Kyron Williams and A-chan being these like league wrecking top five running backs that just reappear now like this week. And then also guys like Poconico who's a waiver ad that like just had a month of irrelevance when Stafford was hurt on by and now he's like huge there's just a lot of like big Godzilla players that kind of just came back. So we'll see.

E.J. Brown and Tyree Kill and J.M.R. Chase. Damn, it's a good team. Anyway. Craig. So you get to go, what tie-end you want for this week? I'm going to take Isaiah likely to tie then on the Ravens. They had a bye this week. Mark Gangers is most likely out for the year. Likely.

Get it. Most likely out. They're playing the Rams. Then the Jags. Two bottom 10 teams first tied in. I mean, this is obvious. I mean, there's a, I would say, a pretty precipitous drop after Isaiah likely in the waiver pool. Yeah.

It's pretty important about you one. It's not even close. It's not even close if he's there. Asshole. Yeah. D.K., you could just find you could go next. You guys, I'm six and O in the last six trivia questions. What's going on?

I feel like I got dead last. last year in trivia. I don't know. You're honing in on it. I feel like I'm getting hot at the right time. I'm getting worse as I get older. Let's see here. Shoot.

This one comes down to, like Craig said, it's a precipitous drop-off after this. We have Chigaconkwo, who I feel like has a pretty good rapport with Will Levis. He like leans on him a little bit more than the other quarterbacks that have played for them this year.

Levis is kind of frisky, man. Yeah, they're playing the Dolves. offense this week. So I feel like they're going to pass a lot. I guess I'll go with Chigua Quangcoe has Deonti Johnson hands. Dude, he cannot catch. He cannot catch. He's like got alligator arms, everything.

When Alconquo has the ball, you're like, wow, this guy's going to be elite. And then he just never. He needs off to him more, I feel like. Honestly. Those little like Travis Kelsey like pitches forward behind the line of scrimmage, they need to be doing those for cheap. You know what every Oconquo catch is like? You know that last night when they replayed the Hail Mary of Travis Kelsey?

like over and over where Kelsey like just was getting shoved in the back and wasn't really close to the ball. That's how it feels watching Oconquo play where it's like his art. Like he just like, oh, like this was never close. You know how you know how randomly you'll just be walking and then all of a sudden you just like throw your phone? Because you like drop it and then you like try to bat it and you like try to catch it. You just like bat it and it goes like 40 feet. Like that's how it feels every time he gets a ball thrown to him. That being said, you know, wait, that's the best.

He's fast. That's the best combine thing we've ever heard. which receivers have cracked iPhones and be like, you're out. You're done. Yeah. Let me check the status of your phone here. Yeah.

I want the guy, if I find out that a wide receiver doesn't have a case on his phone, I'm like, give me that guy. That guy is, that guy's a soft touch. Diamond hands. He's never dropping shit.

We're in indie, we just asked Marvin Harrison, Jr., like how often you drop your phone. If he doesn't look at us confused, then like, mark him down the board. If he has, like, one of those, like, giant industrial phone cases, I'm like, I don't want you. Yeah, no, honor.

Yeah, exactly. Nelson Aguilar is an honor box or whatever those are called. That thing could, like, go to like 50 meters blow water. Also, is this where I do free ads? And I shout out to the iPhone case company that saves my phone from a six floor fall. Sure. Let's do it. Let's try to get sponsored.

God, my team. I hate my team again. Every week. I fucking suck at this game. It doesn't matter, D.K., I'm going to lose again. Poor Kai is going to have to eat a kiwi. I'm going to take Michael Mayer, the tight end of the Raiders, who's coming off from behind, I think is going to catch down this week

because he's good and cool. He's just been like he's been all over the place in terms of targets and stuff, but he's, I think, clearly a better player than Chick. It's just like one of those situations where I want to get like one or two explosive plays out of a Conquo. The other guy would throw in here, and it depends wholly on if Dalton Schultz is back or not next week. But if Schultz is out, Brevin Jordan for the Texans is a guy that's kind of come on

lately. He's a very similar player, I think, to a Conquo in terms of style. And he's an explosive guy, a move tight end, not really much of a blocker, but he had three catches for 64 yards in this last game. Shultz is out with a hamstring. So who knows when he's going to come back?

That'd be another one to throw in there. Plus, Gerald Everett every week. I'm done with him. Go down with the ship. I'm just like bored of bringing him up. Matt Collins. Quarterbacks, frankly, I don't think anyone needs to stream quarterbacks this week. James.

Matt's, Stafford's there. Yeah, James, if he plays, sure. If Jordan Love is out there, which he's probably not, but. Yeah, if Jordan Love's out there. But otherwise, honestly, the, you know, if you have Kyler Murray, then you have other quarterback options. He's on by. And again, Sam Howell, like, you probably have other people.

So I, I would play those other people. James versus Carolina. Must see TV. James, just, yeah, it's what could go wrong. Just streamed James. Defenses, this one I actually think there's, like, quite a bit to talk. about but we're not talking about but just prep for because i think defense is one you can identify ahead of time this week there's actually a lot of options and it's all common sense the

theme of defense for the next month is target the team's playing the freaking jets target the teams playing the freaking giants and the teams playing the steelers as long as they have tribisky and so we got to go back to the jets and zach wills in a second but the texans playing the jets that that one is like grab the texans if they're there packers are playing the giants any as like uh uh Tyra Taylor, the practice window open up, he might come back, but I don't think you'd come back this week. So, once Tommy DeVito's starting for the Giants, like the Packers work against the Giants.

The Patriots defense, the Steelers are going to play Trubiske and Thursday in football. That works, and then also obviously the Steelers in reverse. If those teams aren't there, the Vikings you could do, because, you know, we haven't seen them play Monday in football, but the Vikings are playing the Raiders and Addochano's still a rookie quarterback, week 14. Then the Vikings playing the Bengals in week 15, and they're on by this week.

So Brian Flores, the coordinator of the Vikings has had two weeks to prepare for a rookie quarterback. That one's kind of interesting. But there's a lot of options this week. And I will say, I also think it's worth looking ahead on the defenses because I think a lot of defenses might get dropped with teams being like, I have a one week season, and if I'm not playing this guy, you know what I mean? I don't know what people are going to do,

but if anyone drops like the dolphins for whatever reason to grab them. But the Browns, the Browns defense might get dropped because they have nine points in last three weeks. But the Browns play the Bears in Week 15. So if anyone drops the Browns, go get them. People might drop the Chiefs because the Chiefs are playing the bills this week. But if anyone drops

the Chiefs, the Chiefs play the Patriots in Week 15, so go make sure to grab the Chiefs. And then, again, the Vikings I mentioned, they play Jake Browning and the Bengals in Week 15, so watch money football see how that goes. And if you're going to get a first round by, first of all, hope you are, listen to the show, going to get

a first round by. You can start looking at week 16. If anyone drops the Eagles defense, because the Eagles are going to play the Cowboys this week, the Eagles face the Giants in week 16. And that's one of those, I won my championship because I had 20 points from the Eagles defense.

That one and also the discount version is the Broncos are facing the Patriots of Week 16. So that's another one you can kind of just add. It'd be like the Patriots, again, they had zero points this week. Like the Patriots, whoever it is, Bailey Zabby, Mac Jones, don't care. The Broncos against the Patriots is a great matchup. And if you want to think all the way the championship week, which I would already do if you have a first round by, I think the Bill's defense is going to get dropped.

And they're playing Eagles by week chiefs, Dallas Chargers. I don't think people are going to hold on to the bill's defense. But the bills play the Patriots in week 17. So I know there's a lot of information. But to recap, if you have a first round by, grab the bills when they get cut, grab the Eagles. And I think those two defenses can win you a championship. And if you don't have a first round by,

just look at the teams playing the Giants of the Jets because holy shit. But does a lot. Did you mention the Colts yet? I want to bring up the Colts to. Oh, the Pucks. Dude, the Colts are the number three defense in fantasy football right now as of you know, Monday before Monday night football. And their final schedule is Cincinnati,

Jake Browning, and then Pittsburgh, whether it's Trubisky or pick it, I don't think it really matters. Atlanta. And then Las Vegas. Like, that's a pretty damn easy in terms of quarterbacks. I'm saying they're available on like 70% of Yahoo Leagues right now. It's basically for backup quarterbacks.

I like that because something we just mentioned, one of those teams is available. And I think there are options for everybody. Like there's a lot of defenses to get to do it and targeting again, but also you look at the Colts and why they've been doing so well. Week 9 was the Panthers against Price Young. Week 10 was the Patriots and Mack Jones. And then the Bucks, they played pretty well.

And the last week, I mean, the Titans already fired their special teams coordinator because the two block puns back to back. But that's a really good one. Also, again, I can't stress enough to just target the Jets. Did we talk? We need to talk about how Zach Wilson was apparently asked to like ask to start again. Wilson is like declining the chance to start. He doesn't want to play.

Was this corroborated? Are we sure this is real? Yes. He was reported. It was reported by the athletic and ESPN, like together. Wow. Jesus. Yeah, this is dark.

Basically, the Jets want to go back to Jack Wilson. And he's saying no. And he's like, ah, I'm good. He's like Larry David. This is Diana Rissini. Making the same amount of money as a backup. Dude, Diana Rossini and Zach Rosenblatt for the, the athletic.

Timeline of events we were reporting. Zach Wilson made clear to multiple members of the organization player staff coaches of his apprehension to start due to perceived injury risk per sources. The conversation with Rogers came as resolved Wilson shared sentiment with others.

Is he going to be in the NFL next year? Dude, being asked to, I've never, you've been covered the NFL longer than I have. Do you ever remember anything like this where a play, like, Zach Wilson's not hurt? No, no, no.

I can't remember a quarterback. I mean, it might have happened, but I just can't remember a quarterback. who had the opportunity to start and was like, uh, no, I'm okay. Well, he's also deciding like, I don't want to play. Like, you know what? It's like Derek Carr at the end of the Raiders thing. They were like, you know what?

Why don't you just leave? He's like, all right, peace. I'm out. I know. But he was there for 10 years. Zach Wilson's a failure. I know. I'm sure this has happened.

And I'm trying to, and I'm blanking on his name. The guy who was with the Raiders, he was like the first overall pick for the Bengals. And I'm, shit. Why am I blanking on his name? Carson Palmer? Yes, Carson Palmer. I want to say he kind of forced his way out of... He hated the Bengals, but he was also good.

Zach Wilson's like, this might be it. That's an important distinction. He was good. But yes, I think it's like, people are literally good for Zach was trending on Twitter today because people were like, good for Zach, you know? Like, this is a shit show. He shouldn't go play for him. Yeah, he's literally like, look, I know what it's like to be out there, all right?

You don't want to be out there. You don't want to be out there. I kind of get the injury thing, though, because he truly just needs a new, he needs a change of scenery. And by that you mean like being at home on the couch is the change of scenery. Dude, this is a very zoomer thing. But like, is he going to, is he ever going to have another chance to start in the NFL outside of like coming in for an injury? Probably not. And this is an opportunity to start and say no.

It's actually, I got a wild. I mean, I think, yeah. Literally no one wants to play quarterback for the Jets. They can't find anybody. Kevin Clark tweeted out the perfect, like, response to this. He goes, literally Zach Wilson, is that like screenshot of a guy that gets a text message from his manager. And it says, we're short staff tonight. And then the response from the guy is just, damn, that's crazy.

Good luck, though. He's like, I'm not fucking coming in. It's actually wild. Good luck, though. Like, he's truly just giving up. Doesn't give a shit. I mean, the entire locker room is probably like, what are you doing, dude? And he just doesn't care.

Well, you know, it's funny. They're like, hey, well, they scapegoated you for all the issues. And now they want you back. And I'm like, is that what happened? Because I actually think that they went deeply out of their way to give you the job, despite you not really deserving it. And if they had brought it literally anyone else to compete with you, you would have lost. And he was plopped up.

He held onto the job, like, way longer than. normal quarterback. The longest leash of any shitty quarterback ever. Dude, if they had brought in freaking Josh Dobbs for a sixth round pick swap, if they had brought in Joe, you know, the Browns are paying Joe Flacko like 150 grand.

This is a guy who was like made $120 million being paid $150 grand. And the Jets couldn't pay $150 grand for Joe Flacco. Zach Wilson has started 31 games in the NFL. Yeah, it's the idea that like Zach McFloy turned your back on you. I'm like, dude, I, whatever. Weird kid.

Um, all right. Weird kid. That's like the rest of development. George senior. Weird kid. Bring your daughter to school day. Weird kid. All right.

There are your defenses. All right. A little Kai time here. We actually decided to start keeping track of the players like four years too late. But, you know, we keep track of the players. Completely unfair to Kai. Because we face no repercussions whatsoever. Well, someone suggests.

that if Kai, Kai should get to add a player to this whole mix and if he picks a player that out does our guys that we then have to eat like a dried turkey sandwich. Oh,

that's so good. That's actually a really good idea. It's like just, oh God, it's so dry. That would give me, that would bring me so much joy. Like you guys having to go to Chipole

and just get like white rice and chicken nothing else. Are we loud water? We'll choose for each bite. Yes, you're allowed water. Some pop-tri. Oh,

I got ideas. this is good. I'm just sitting there like Kobayashi. I'm just like dunk in the water. I actually love Pop-Tarts. Oh. I'll eat a plain Pop-Tart. They're great.

Who does it like a Pop-Tart? Kai's world version of punishment is us eating Pop-Tarts then. Sure. I never toasted my Pop-Tarts. I just ate them. Oh, me too. Wait, are you guys serious? Dude, Dimitri Martin has this great bit about people who microwave Pop-Tarts

because it actually should do it for two seconds on the instructions. No, toasting the Pop-Tart is literally the only way to go. I would never eat a cold Pop-Tart. That's insane. I like the podcast. Pop-Tarts that had the pink frosting on top. Do you put butter on your Pop-Tarts? Butter?

What? No. That's like something that people from my childhood would do. People from your child, like you? Is your mom in a garden? May or may not have done it in life. Who is people from your childhood? There's no way.

It's like a way that people would eat Pop-Tarts is what I'm saying. These troglodytes. Including me. I don't do it anymore. Unhinged. Dude, when I was growing up, we would have mayonnaise bread. Just a slice of bread with mayonnaise on it was like what we would eat for meals.

Also like the best grilled cheese, though, if with the mayonnaise, you just, you know, you fry that up. That's like, yeah, deluxe. The other staple in my household growing up, sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you all this. It's because your dad now. It's part of the class you took. It's just back in my day. Cottage cheese noodles where you just cook up some like spaghetti or some like, I don't even know which ones, the spiral noodles. You know, like they look like corkscrews.

What are those called? Routini. Yeah. And then just. just put a little cottage cheese on there. It melts. It's like all stringy. It's like almost like mozzarella-e.

Or it's like a ricotta almost. Yeah. It sounds awful now. I'd rather just put the butter on the pasta and then no cottage cheese on the pop-ta. Butter pasta with a little parmesan growing up, amazing. Both my parents were in school at the time, so there was not a lot of gourmet meals happening. I hear what you're saying, but I also feel like that doesn't explain the butter on the Pop-Tart because, like, you just don't just eat the Pop-Tart. Dude, I was born in the Midwest.

I don't know what to tell you. That's true. Would you toast it and then put butter on it? Yeah. And then the butter like melts. That makes a little more sense, I guess. Do you think that's how my father invented the toaster struddle? Wait, what?

Your dad invented the toaster strudel? That's for meat girls? What is that? Yeah, it's meat girls. Okay. That is what they are, though. They're just like buttery pop tarts. Kai, give us a rundown of last week.

What were the rosters who won, point totals? Oh, thank you, Craig. I knew where you were doing something. Yeah. D.K., Dearness Johnson. He might save you tonight. Who knows? He's going ham tonight.

He's going off. Between A.T. Perry and Kate Otten, they combined for 3.5 points. Cade fucking let me down, man. Cade. Tough zero burger from Auden. Cade had been doing well lately and then just fucking nothing in this last game. Craig bamboozled me with the plus one point here. We had Simajet P. Ryan, Jaden Reed, and Pat Firemeath for 10.6 points.

And then High Fids came in at number one with Jeff Wilson Jr., Jonathan Mingo, who he stole, and Juwon Johnson. Hi Fitz doesn't even like Mingo It was also 10.6 to 11 So it was still close Oh Yeah well That's a rough week De Arniz Johnson could still like have

8 or 9 10 whatever it is And you could wait Just give me in the end zone Durnest So if Durness Johnson has like 25 yards in a touchdown DK wins Yeah Hell yes

It's not over I just lost for sure That that part's up Yeah right Let's be honest We all lost So what is Kai eating Well his girlfriend gets to pick

No, you guys need to pick this one. I remember it's like one for me, one for you guys kind of thing. Because I want you guys to come up with something interesting. Butter on Pop-Tarts. Cottage cheese on pasta. What about walnuts? I mean, I wouldn't try a walnut. Are you sure?

You never had one? I think I've had one. It's been a while, though. I'm not allergic. I want to find something that he knows he hasn't had. You mentioned a Kiwi earlier. I don't know if I've ever had a Kiwi. I think Kiwi's such a funny idea.

Kiwi's what we got to do. I don't think I've ever had one. Kiwi. Kiwi's like the perfect mix of it. of exotic and also like normal random. Shouts to all our New Zealand listeners too. Yes.

Kai, do you like any fruit? I actually had a red apple with my turkey sandwich today. Oh, that was that way. He likes red apples and green apples and I want to do green apples and red olives. Green grapes, green grapes, red apples? Yeah, that's what it is. I want to do green apple and red olives.

Red grapes. Olives again. It's just going to be olives now. You keep saying olives. Oh, sorry, I can say that. Yeah, grapes. I can't speak English. It's okay.

All right. A key. it is. So power hour, if we can do it by tomorrow. If not, it'll be the Thursday show. Question. Do you guys eat, do you guys eat with the skin on or off? Well, the skins are riddled with toxins. So don't eat the skin. I didn't even know people did that. I think sometimes you like slice it really thinly and you can still eat the skin. But like, obviously you're not just like biting into it like it's a fucking apple or something. No, no. Yeah. I know. You definitely slice it up and cut off the rind. I definitely wasn't thinking about doing that at all. No, you should eat the skin, Kai.

It's like fuzzy and hairy You're not gonna want to bite into it It's like Seinfelds and I eat the tomatoes We're not helping matters here It's like kind of chewy fuzzy Skin It tastes like carpet Can't wait

Man it's gonna be great I fucking love Kiwis I'm not gonna I'm not gonna lie I like Kiwis Maybe it's a new fruit Maybe they didn't want to be eaten I mean they're it's a very off-putting Look and texture

Fruit is designed for people to eat. Yes. It's why it's colorful. It's the whole purpose. Oh, wow. Well, it's the fruit. Well, is the fruit a separate entity?

Is the fruit its own thing? Or do you think it's a part of the tree? The tree wants you eat the fruit. The tree wants you to eat the fruit. Yeah, because then it can spread it seeds. But I'm saying Kiwi is like one of the fruits where I feel like it is not, you know, aesthetically pleasing at all. Yeah.

Who wants like a little brown fuzzy ball? We're dancing around it. What's it look like, Craig? You know my flightless birds We're in New Zealand and Australia You have any idea? I don't know Two

Dude flightless No there were so many Dude The one time I'd guess low shit 700 That's a lot E-mails trivia questions about that If you've got this far of the episode

A lot of a lot of animals All right Kai week 14 What are the teams who do you want It's just tough man DK has Keaton Mitchell Elijah Moore Plus a point

And Chigokokuo Craig, you have Ezekiel Elliott plus a point, Romeo Dobbs. Isaiah likely. High fits, you have Ty Chandler, Jalen Hyatt, and Michael Mayer. All right, you know what? I think the answer is easy. This is tough, actually. We all side. I'm going to send

it. Third times a charm. I'm going to go with you, Craig. But if you burn me again, I'm done. We're done. It's over. That's fair. That's fair. Three strikes, I'm out. Bending myself from choosing your team, even if it looks great if I lose again. He's burning Craig. Yeah. He's going to put Craig in the

I get it. Welcome back, Kai. It's great to have you. It's like you're staying at a shitty hotel for the third time and you're like, all right. For once, just no bedbugs. I just can't quit it. I don't know. I don't know what to say. It's season three of the White Lotus for Kai. Someone's probably going to die again.

All right. You guys want to do well, we got a couple emails, but do emails, but here, wait, first. Let me do an ad read here. Wait. This episode is brought to by Gentleman's Piss Club.

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And if you go to gentlemen's piss club.com slash ringer fantasy, you get 15% off your first order. Gentleman's piss club, never miss a good piss. Must be 21 or older. Please drink and piss responsible. Did you write that or was that an email we got? That was, no, I mean, they're a sponsor. My own company that I'm going to start is a sponsor.

Yeah, no, I just did that. I was bored. I like that a lot. Maybe add one part about like how not only is the ventilation grate, but we're doing incense candles, you know, the smells will be good. This is very important that you know. Maybe what about this? What about this? Maybe we're always just baking chocolate chip cookies.

Well, they have like those chocolate chip cookie candles that you can buy. I know. Why don't we just make real chocolate chip cookies? and then people get hammered, eat cookies, and it smells great. Oh, that's a fucking great idea. That's good. That's really good. Yeah.

Also, no, we work just went bankrupt. Gentlemen's cookie club. All the good ideas happen in the shower. It's like, what if there also was a section of like showers, but that was your working space, but like that's where you had all your ideas meetings. We can like charge offices to have good ideas in the shower. Whoa. You do shower meetings.

It's like we work, but for showers. Yeah, exactly. But it's, yeah, we got to work. We've called we shower. I feel like people are going to show up here with the wrong idea of what's happening. Probably, yeah. We'd have to really make sure

we have the right people signing up. We shower. We wet. I don't know. I like that though, Hyves. We wet. That's good though. And you can pee in the shower,

so it's kind of a nice little combo. You can pee anywhere in this fucking place. I want you guys to be honest. Do you guys pee in the shower? I'm an American Look me in the eye and tell me I'm an American What do you think, Craig?

I don't do it I don't pee in the shower Oh, so you're too good for us Yeah, you think it better than me? You think it better than me? Do your wives and slash girlfriends know that you pee in the shower? No, I'll find out she listens to the show though.

DK? I don't know, yeah, yes. Do you think they pee in the shower? Dude, when you, okay, first of all, once you have a child like piss just doesn't fucking matter anymore like there's piss everywhere

Calvin piss is all over the fucking place there's like he went through a phase recently where he was just like every time his pants would come off he would just start peeing it was like a reaction to like oh you take off your pants therefore you start peeing like a dog off the collar

and he would just like pee on the floor we're like dude no so anyways and he like doesn't really like putting up the seat so he just like will piss all over the toilet He's a man Like all around it you know So we're yeah

You know like once you become a parent I think all parents would agree Like shit and piss is like not weird anymore It's just like You shit in the shower too The old waffle stom No Okay

Anyway my point is Calvin pisses in the shower more than I do Calvin pees everywhere You were not being in the shower Prior to having a son But I was, but now I don't feel bad about it, you know? I think I'm always worried about the drainage. And if it doesn't actually go down the drain, then I'm like stepping on my own urine. Yeah.

Yeah, I guess. I mean, that's what the drain's for, though, right? You know, sometimes though, like, you know, if the hair falls off your head and you see it in the corner of the shower, I'm like, there could just be like pee. Kind of just like in certain areas instead of dry. Oh, my God. These are these. Craig, this is the person who wants to make a fucking gentleman's piss club. He's afraid to pee in the shower.

This is a huge issue for a brand, Craig. No, it's not. No, it's not. I'm asking for more toilets at a bar. I'm not asking for showers to pee in. I love peeing in toilets. Oh, my God. A public pool, though, I'll let it rip.

Craig, you know Mark Summers, the guy who did Double Dare for Nickelodeon back in the day? Did you guys ever watch Double Dare? Didn't Mark Summers also do wrapped? Unwrapped. The Food Network show? Unwrapped. Maybe I'm thinking of the wrong name. Who's the Double Dare post?

No, Double Dare is Mark Summers. You're right. Anyway, he, Double Dare was like a show where you just get like covered in gunk or whatever, like the slime and do all this stuff. It's all crazy. But he was also like super OCD clean. This is what it's reminding me of, Craig.

Like you want to start a gentleman's piss club and yet you're unable to pee in the shower. I wouldn't even consider. Look, it's not that I'm unable to, like, I would. I'm just like, the toilet is three feet away from me, and I can just pee right before I shower. Why would I just pee all over my feet? Yeah, it's like you're wasting by fleshing. Email from your fancy football at gmail.com,

you know, if you have, like, important thoughts to add to this discourse. Anyway, though, shouts out, the show unwrapped on Food Network, hosted by the same Mark Summers, I looked it up, awesome show where he, like, goes into, like, factories and, like, learns how things are made. He'll just be like, we're going to go figure out how starbursts are made. like hostess cupcakes. Yeah, I didn't know that he transitioned to like food network stuff. How it's made.

I don't know how it's made. How it's made was the show on, oh man, what was the channel? Maybe Discovery. Yeah, how it's made was on the science channel. And it was just the show on how random things are made, like pencils. And it was just the beginning of like, here are the trees we cut down. And then like would show you like how they should. And it was just for like every these, all the day-to-day things you never thought about.

And it was so freaking cool. And now I think they actually have a really good YouTube. channel that kind of condenses the old episodes. But how it's made, it's, it's, they definitely just ripped off how it's made. But, but Unwrapped as old, man. Things being made is cool. Unwrapped how it's made. Things being made is cool.

Unwrapped started in 01. 23 seasons have unwrapped. 23 seasons? Yeah. It was a big show. It was really fun and interesting to watch. I loved it. Oh, you know what?

This is, this is how it's made. They have one on aluminum foil. Hmm. That sounds like really boring now that I saying out loud, but I just sounded really boring. You guys got to check out the aluminum foil episode. It's only 73 minutes.

Should that be our other thing? Should they our other businesses? We tell people what shows to watch, but they just sound awful. How it's made, foil. I'm like, you know what? I'm actually not curious. They smush metal together and they make foil.

I know you guys don't watch Rick and Morty, but I might make you guys watch the interdimensional cable for Rick and Morty because it's just, basically the best premise ever. It's just like they just, it's interdimensional cable. So it's like, imagine like the streaming apps. It's just like, you know,

a cable bundle, but for all the TV made in all the universes and the world like multiverse. So it's just the best television. So it's just, and it's just skits. So they have one called house hunters. But it's like you hunt houses and the houses walk around and you like have to kill the houses. And they just have like a hundred.

It's like the most dangerous game, you know? Yeah, exactly. And it's just like a hundred of these. And my friends and I, we just text back and forth. Like our shower ideas are just interdimensional cable bits. Speaking of gentlemen's piss club, I have a new idea, a gimmick. The longest pee of the day. Yeah, the piss club. The longest pee of the day gets a free meal.

Free meal. I thought you were going to say drink, but you went with, you know. Is this like golf where we need like age brackets, but like we need the opposite of this because I feel like, you know, the younger you are? There needs to be some type of sensor in the urinal where it can, the second peeve. hits the urinal, the timer begins. Because I feel like I've had some crazy lung peas at a bar. Like, I think I've reached 60, 90,

120 seconds. But we need, we need, like, instead of weight classes, we need, like, age classes, you know? Like a handicap. Yeah. There's something there. Maybe it's like a whole P Olympics. I don't know.

We'll workshop it. Thank you, D.K., thank you, Craig. Thank you, Kai, for producing this episode. Thank you, gentlemen's Piss Club, for sponsoring this episode. Thank you, Lauren. Lauren. Thank you, Reba McIntyre. Ha-ha.

Reba. Hi Fitz. Thoughts? Concerns? Frantically Google here to make sure I have the right person before I get made fun of? Okay, yep, that's who I thought it was. But I'm just too scarred now from getting things wrong.

Craig, did you ever watch the Reba show? Like, no. I knew it was on. I probably saw clips, but I was not a viewer. I think it was underratedly funny. She has that one song that, like, blew up and became a meme where it's like when my husband is off. golfing for four hours, and then it's just the clip of her being like, a single mom who works

two jobs? Yeah. Who loves her kids and never stops? Do you think we could get her to sing like a theme, like a jingle for the gentleman's piss club? Honestly, yeah, Reba seems to be no stranger to a brand deal. She's got at Reba on Twitter, too. Does she?

I think she was a guest host on the voice this year. She's also looked the same for like 25 years. She has. You know, it's funny. I don't watch, I never watched The Voice. I watched American Idol like religiously for like when it was just the freedom. Oh, same. The OG days was Seacrest and Brian Dunkelman?

Oh, dude. Yeah. Dude, Ruben stuttered. Like, that was my guy. But I haven't checked into the voice. And my sister-in-law's parents are so into the voice that when we see them for Thanksgiving, like we have to record the voice and make sure they can watch it. And so I just like watch the voice with them.

And I'm like, dude, Simon Cowell's just been doing this for, like, he's just been doing like this. He never stopped. I just was like, oh, my God, you're still here. You look the same. This is crazy. Well, yeah. He looks the same for other reasons, but yes. Well, I'm not implying.

He has not magically aged while living in Los Angeles 20 years. I'm just saying it's crazy. It's Simon Cowell is just like still doing the whole like, I'm British and kind of mean. But, you know, I said a nice thing thing. I know. He really has made like an incredibly lucrative career out of just being like a curmudony British man. and criticizing you. He created the whole thing.

Like Gordon Ramsey. And like I watch British baking show and I love it. But Paul Hollywood just kind of does like, you know, Simon Cowell, but I make bread and just does like a mean little stare. And it's like they're all just trying to be Simon Cowell. It's crazy. Before we go, Hyfitz, Reba McIntyre. Would you? Dude, I'm, I'm just a one man for Dolly, man.

Dolly, dolly. Okay. You only got eyes for Dolly. I only got eyes for Dolly. I got it, you know, can't say anything that would. Jeopardy. Also, that would be inappropriate because Reba is going to have to work with the gentleman's piss club.

Yeah. Right. It's a conflict of interest if you guys get in a relationship. Exactly. Don't piss where you eat. That's our whole business. That's our catchphrase. Piss where you eat. All right. Goodbye, everyone. Must be 21 plus and

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