The Ringer NFL Show - Waiver Wire Targets for Week 5

Episode Date: October 4, 2022

We run through the injuries from Week 4 and offer up our must-add players for Week 5 with our favorite format, Showdown Time. (01:36) - RB Targets (19:22) - WR Targets (36:59) - TE Targets (46:15) - QB & DEF Streamers Check out our Weekly Fantasy Football Rankings for positional rankings and more! Email us! [e-mail]. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Producers: Craig Horlbeck and Jessie Lopez Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What's up, everybody. I'm Brian Barrett, former Boston Sports Radio Guy, and now host of the new Ringer show Off the Pike that'll cover your favorite Boston teams and stories. From Fenway to Foxborough to The Garden and Beyond, we're reacting to all the biggest games and moments with episodes at least three times a week featuring myself and some of your favorite guests at the ringer and in the city. Plus, if the Celtics or the Pats make a surprise trade, if the Red Sox's going to run, or if any news breaks, we'll drop bonus instant reaction episode. two, so you're always up to date with the latest chatter. Get in on the action and follow off the bike with me, Brian Barrett, now on Spotify. Fantasy Football Show. My name is Danny Huyifitz. I am joined by Danny Kelly Craig Worldbeck.

We are going through the must-add players after week four. We're going to do a trivia style, so we're all going to pick our favorite player to add after week four at each position, so our favorite running backs, receivers, receivers, etc. And then if we pick the same guy, we're going to have a little trivia showdown to see who gets them. And then we're going to go through. we're going to hopefully give you all the picks from shallow leagues, deep leagues, everything in between. Okay, if you have trivia questions, you can email us

them at ringer fantasy football, gmail.com. Remember, they kind of need to usually answer we need it in a number, a quantity, an amount, a year, whatever. We need a number. Yeah, so with that said, we'll go through the big news at running back this week, obviously, Giovante Williams, the Broncos running back,

has tours ACL and his LCL, so he's out for the season. Brutle. That's the big one. Yeah. And Jonathan Taylor, the Colts running back, has an ankle injury. We're recording this Monday afternoon. We don't really know the deal with Jonathan Taylor's ankle injury yet. Adam Schaefter has reported he might play. They're playing Thursday night football. I gotta tell you the truth, I kind of am taking Adam Schaefter's report with a massive many grains of salt. I don't think Jonathan Taylor's going to play.

Naheem Hines is the backup for Jonathan Taylor. He's rostered in like 60% of leagues. So Hines, we're not going to do him for this exercise. But to be clear, we would all want Nehem Hines of Jonathan Taylor misses time, especially for this week, right? I mean, if Taylor's not going to go, I assume we would all take Heinz. So Heinz is like number one, same with Melvin Gordon for the Broncos. He's rostered, probably not available in your leagues, but if, for whatever reason, he minds, Melvin Gordon's available in your league,

those are like the two dudes we would take first by a lot. Yes. It sounds like Taylor escaped serious injury, because at first it sounded like it was a high ankle spray, which is very not good, especially from running backs. But it sounds more like it's probably a low ankle spray, so he's just going to have to rehab it and get back out there.

It's maybe not going to be this week. So this is your window for Heinz if he's out there. But long term, it's looking like Taylor's okay. The other dude that if they were available in this threshold, we try to stick to players under 40% on either Yahoo or ESPN.

At least be at, Rhea Moster, the Dolphins running back. Pretty much the starter in Miami hasn't had great points yet, but that's another guy that if you were in this exercise, would probably be too. And then also, if you want elite handcuff,

technically the starter is still healthy, but like Alexander Madison is the backup for Delvin Cook. If he's out there, he's probably rostered in over 40%. I would grab him too because Dalvin is very banged up and is likely to, not likely, I should say, but it's very possible that he could miss a significant amount of time very soon, any given day. So with all that said, and again,

the caveat that those guys would take first, DK, who is your number one waiver pick at running back after week four? This was not actually very easy for me, but I'm going to go with Mike Boone for the Broncos, just because Javante Williams is on the injured reserve now for the rest of the year. It's going to come down to Boone and Gordon

some type of rotation there. He could get pretty good volume, maybe, you know, 60, 40 in favor of Gordon, something like that. But then you could see Mike Boone having some of the passing down work, more of the receptions,

and obviously that's good for HAPPR and PBR. So I'm going to go with Mike Boone, even though there was a couple other guys on this list that I think are very intriguing the rest of the season. So Mike Boone, rostered in 1% of Yahoo Leaks. Boone's a weird case

because so Melvin Gordon is obviously like the number two running back really kind of been like a 1A1 being. But Melvin Gordon fumbled in this game on his first carry on Sunday and then basically didn't really play much. Melvin Gordon's from, it was the fourth time Melvin Gordon's fumbled this year. And honestly, between the goal line fumble he had in week one and this one, you could kind of argue, it's not very nice, but it's kind of argue. Melvin Gordon kind of swung two of the Denver's losses this year with these fumbles. And he had to against the most fumbles in the NFL since like 2018. So I don't know if Mike Boone, like he kind of out snapped Gordon this game. I don't know if that's because of the fumble.

Right. Dika, do you think Mike Boone's going to have like a 50-50 split with Melvin Gord? Because Melvin Gordon's kind of banged up a little bit too. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I would say I would lean Gordon gets slightly more touches and slightly more work in this backfield. But Mike Boone's going to have plenty of opportunities here. I think it's the main idea.

And he's probably going to have, honestly, the more valuable work in the passing game, certainly. I could see Melvin Gordon getting some of the goal. line stuff just because he's bigger. But, you know, Mike Lund's a guy that we've kind of had on our radar for years because he's always been sort of a preseason superstar, things like that. D.K.L. loved him in Minnesota. Yeah, he did. I've kind of, I've come down from that, like, high or whatever, just thinking he's going to be really good. I think he's a solid backup. And now he's going to get an opportunity to, you know, get a lot of volume. So I'm not going to say he's going to be a superstar in fantasy, but he's definitely worth throwing your flex if he's going to get half of the

snaps or 40% of the snaps for this Bronf's team and especially get more look in the passing game. I think it's really substantial, especially considering Melvin Gordon's older and if anything happens to Melvin Gordon, Mike Boone, I have a huge role. Javante being out for this season, there's no ambiguity of when he's going to come back. I think there's a world where

Mike Boone doesn't have much run, but I think there's also a world where Mike Boone just actually ends up a month from now if Melvin Gordon gets hurt, like he's just a straight up top 12 running back and every given week Melvin Gordon's out. So that's big. I also have Boone first. Craig, did you have Mike Boone first? Yeah, he's the only running back really on off the waiver wire this week that doesn't have like a speculatory role.

Like he's going to have a role and it's not something you have to forecast down the road. Like he's going to have one this week. Yeah. Okay. All right. Mike Boone. We all pick Mike Boone. Boone.

I'm like, man, week four, and we're doing Mike Boone showdown time. Things are dark. Life comes out of you fast. Hands up. High viz. His hands are up. I appreciate that. His hands are up first.

It is the Mike Boone. Showdown time. Wow. Woo! All right. What do we got? This is a great question from, I forgot to write down their name. Ben, great question from Ben.

Ben. So Russell Wilson, Sierra, as we've noted, recently bought a Denver mansion with 20,000 square feet. And I think you got this. Oh, 12 bedrooms. Remember, it only had four bathrooms. What is it? No, it was 12 bathrooms, four bedrooms.

Four bedrooms? Yeah, four or five bedrooms. So 12, yeah. All right, so the emailer got it right. And my memory, he was wrong. Shock him. Okay, sorry. Sorry to Slater, you bet.

But Russ and Sierra bought that bedroom. Oh my God, I can't speak in the house that. Well, bathrooms. Okay. Wow, readings never been sore. The largest mansion in the world is the palace of the Sultan of Brunei, which comes in at over two million square feet. Two million?

Two million square feet is this palace? How many bathrooms are in the Sultan's mansion in the two million square foot mansion? two million square feet so Russ says 12 and 20,000 square feet oh my god now that you scale up there's no way this a thousand bathers right just gonna have to

I'm just gonna say it here how many I don't know I'm not assaulted it's two million square feet I can't fathom that you know sometimes numbers get too big and like your brain can't comprehend them I don't even know what two million square feet

looks like I'm trying to think of like what's an acre I'm like I don't even know what it means like the Boeing like factories where it's just like city blocks worth of building? I don't know. Yeah, how many square feet do you think a Walmart is? No idea. A Walmart?

50,000? 70,000? 100,000 square feet? I don't know. A Costco, it's like 100,000 square feet? I don't know. It's like way taller, too. Do they even measure that?

I don't know. I'm going to go 300 bathrooms in the 2 million square foot home. We usually guess way too high, right? High Fitz is going for the low here. Think about the plumbing. 300 bathrooms. Labyrinth. Imagine if you're like in the shower there

and the water gets freezing cold and you're like, damn it! One of the 1,000 bathrooms was just flushed. I'm going to go with 800. Yeah, I was just thinking 1,000, so I'm going to stay at 1,000. People always over bathrooms. 1,000 bathrooms.

I crushed this. It's so ridiculous. 257 bathrooms. Oh, nice. Okay. It doesn't seem like enough. I get Mike Boone. Dickie, you were way of.

Craig. You get the next pick here. I'm going to go with... I'm stuck between two. Recency bias leads me to pick Rashad White, but long-term Tyler Algier. I'm going to go with Rashad White, the running back rookie for the bucks.

Damn you. Is that who you're going to take? Yeah. I actually think just eye test, he looks good. And he looks more spry. and can kind of do something different than Leonard Fournette can. Farnett's kind of had a down start to the year,

mainly just because he hasn't really been scoring. He had kind of a touchdown this week, but he didn't do a lot. He had negative three rushing yards on three carries. Yeah, and then like Rashad White came in and was kind of making some things happen. And importantly, he took two full drives away from Fournette in the first and second half.

He just had like two full dedicated drives just to Rashad White, which I liked a lot. And I like that Todd Bowles kept playing him, despite him fumbling on the opening snap at the game. And honestly, potentially, like losing the game for the box.

Right. If he didn't fumble, who knows what could have happened in that game? Because both teams are kind of just scoring it well. But yeah, I'm going to go with a Sean White. Yeah, I was going to say this too. He had 39% of the snaps. I think, I saw this from Hayden Winks. They were basically rotating 2 to 1 on drives with 4-Nat and him.

And I think the idea is they're just going to get him more involved as the year goes on. And also, I keep coming back to this. I feel like this was all part of their plan because Adam Schifter, prior to the week one kickoff was like, this is my big sleeper of the year. I think he heard something about how they're trying to like, you know, work him into the offense eventually. And then as the season goes on,

he's going to have like a bigger role in it. And the big thing with him is he, and this was what he was in college shoes. He's really good pass catcher. He's good in the passing game. We saw that he had five catches for 50 yards. Yes, last night during that game. And so, yeah, eight touches to 10 for Four Nett.

You know, they're splitting the goal line work. He's getting a little bit of work in third down and long down and distance. So basically they utilized him in every situation. Like you said, Craig, they were basically just letting him have drives. So, yeah, going forward, he has a standalone role as a rotational guy in this offense, I think. But again, you kind of have to project a little bit. Like maybe this was a one-off thing.

Who knows? But going forward, he probably has a standalone role. And then if Fournett ever got hurt, like he would be a league winner type guy. No other running backs played for this. And I think, Craig, you mentioned that you were between the Falcons and the Bucks. The difference is the Falcons running back. backfield, it's a freaking a mess. There's literally like five people that are involved. The, the Buccaneers, it's just Fournette and Rashad White, like, literally. So, I mean,

there's always a chance you're going to get a goal line carry. Literally, if Fournette needs a sub, like, it's Rashad White. So I think that's White. The next one, though, D.K., are you going to take the Falcons? We forgot to mention up top that, Cordarrel Patterson's on injured reserve now. So that doesn't mean the whole season anymore, so he's eligible to come back in a month. But regardless, Patterson's on injured reserve. Would you take a falcons running back? Dekar. are you going another direction? I think, yeah, I mean, I guess if you're looking to fill someone in for this week and this week only, Tyler Al Jir for the Falcons, a rookie, I believe he was a fourth round pick.

He's a pretty good option. I mean, obviously, the problem here is the offense is hit or miss, hard to predict. Damien Williams is going to be coming back off the injured reserve at some point here. Cordero Patterson is going to be coming off the injured reserve after four weeks in theory. You know, there's just a lot of guys in this backfield. And so, like, if you want a long-term rest-of-season option, he's maybe not the best bet. But for this week, he was getting a lot of the passing down work in this offense.

He was splitting reps basically with Caleb Huntley, who they signed from the practice squad the day before, I believe. And so he's kind of, you know, he looked pretty good. He had 84 yards rushing. He had a 20-yard reception. But I would say, you know, don't expect this to kind of, like, last very long. If you want someone for the rest of the season, like if you had an injury, like Giovante Williams, for instance,

there's another guy I would still recommend. Well, hold on. Let's stand the Falcons for a second. This is why the falcons situation is kind of a mess. I actually disagree with you. He's not even the running back I want from the Falcons. Because Tyler Al Jir, I think I might even rather have Caleb Huntley. If I have to play someone this week and this week only, I mean, because here's the thing.

Caleb Huntley was basically getting all the goal line work and all the short down work. Algear's getting like the passing downs and like the third in longs and the second alongs. They're not passing. In theory, yeah, exactly. Barksmore out of three, you're completed seven passes less. week. Who gives a shit if there's the passing down work? I don't care. And so I don't really have any interest in the passing down work for the Atlanta Falcons. They won't throw the ball to Kyle Pitts. Why are they going to throw the ball to Alger? I'm like, if you just

want to pray for a touchdown, I guess it's Caleb Huntley, but they're giving the ball to everybody. It's like they're just, they're running a ton, but they're splitting between Algear and him. And there's also Avery Williams. Argusmith doesn't give a fuck about your fantasy team. He doesn't give a fuck about anybody having the majority of the carry. He does whatever he wants. He's a chaos. To be clear, nobody does. Nobody does. He's a little finger. Here's the deal. Hi Fitz. I actually agree with you

and this is what makes it difficult. So I'm just going to skip Alger. I'm changing my mind. I'm going back to the well with J.D. McKissick. I just think if you want someone who you can rely on a little bit more, specifically if you're in half PBR, PBR leagues. I would rather have McKissick at this point,

rostering 28% of Yahoo Leagues. He out snapped Gibson 38 to 30, Antoine Gibson 38 to 30 in this last game. He ran 26 routes compared to 12 for Gibson. Get four targets, eight carries, 12 opportunities basically to touch the football and so

for a team that's going to be playing from behind a lot this year, they're going to have a lot of garbage time in all likelihood he's the guy you want in this backfield

and Brian Robinson is going to be coming back at some point I don't think he's going to be eating into McKissick's role he's going to be eating into Gibson's role Brian Robinson's getting activated this week we don't know if that means

he's necessarily going to play this week but it's the same problem where if Brian Robinson does come back and play now McKissick's in it three person backfield and that kind of sucks too. But he'll still probably, he'll retain the same role. I think McKissick is going to have the same role. I think Robinson is a problem more for Gibson.

That's my thing. The early down work, I imagine, would become split between Gibson and Robinson and then McKissick can retain the third down role, right? McKissick is like the classic Amendoza line dude. Like, he just puts up seven, eight points every single week. And if you're really desperate and you need that, it'll, it's dependable. his numbers, his like total production didn't look that great this week, but like 12 opportunities and he out snapped Gibson, like, this is what you're looking for for underlying usage. This is what you're looking for a guy who probably going to regress next week and have more points. I just like, man, I don't want to recommend any Falcons. I'm kind of with you, Hype. It's just like, this is just going to be a mess. It's gross. The other one I'm wondering about is Isaiah Pacheco for the Chiefs. It's also kind of a weird back foot. Clyde's being doing great. But Clydeb is just, I'm just scoring a bunch of touchdowns and not that many touches. And eventually at some point I'm wondering if, You know, you're going to throw a dart throw.

But Checo's, he got 11 carries in this game. He's played like basically a third of the snaps. But I kind of feel like generally speaking when you have a guy like Jerich McKinnon, who is a little more trusted, but he's a veteran who is at injuries. His playing time's going a little down. But Chekos is going up and, like, kind of banking on that trend. Again, it's not like a good bet necessarily. But that's a guy that probably not a great bet to get saying for you this weekend,

but Rashad White-esque where you're betting on a rookie to maybe get more of the backfield over time. Yeah. Yeah. The point is all these are flawed. Like, Neymines for the Colts, who Taylor misses time, high upside. Melvin Gordon,

Mike Boone, Broncos, that Javanto Williams is out, high upside. High upside. Everyone after, Rashad White, very high upside for net. All these other ones

are super flawed, obviously. But like, I almost would rather have Pacheco than the Falcons guys. But Checo's a nice start when the Chiefs are playing a team that they're likely to beat badly.

Like, if they're playing like a Texans or something, I mean, obviously we didn't expect them to kind of handle the bucks like they did, but that seems to be when he actually gets a lot of carries is when the games are blowout,

which happens a lot for the Chief. So if they're playing a shitty team, he's probably a good ad in any given week. Other ones, in the spirit of this, just like, if you need someone for this week and this week only, you could do Craig Reynolds for the Lions, just because the Lions are scoring so much, but the Lions are playing one game this week.

They're on by the week after, and then Swift probably comes back. So I think Craig Reynolds is going to go back, I mean, to being nothing after this week. But otherwise, he's not very, I realize that's like as tepative an endorsement as possible. The other one we got to mention that the Saints, man, because Camara was the surprise out,

Mark Ingram and Latavis Murray filled in. You know that those are the two oldest active running backs this season are Mark Ingram and Latavis Murray to take a snap? And so, I mean, this is like the gerryat. This is like the old person home with D.K. With these two dudes. So in theory, like, oh, it's a back, but I'm kind of like, this offense sucks.

This offense, the Saints cannot move the ball. I mean, you know, we were optimistic that the Saints offense. Some of the Sean Peyton leaving might be offset by the receivers. I mean, not even close to close. I mean, it was bad, and then James leaving, everything's been awful. So, I mean, how valuable is this? Especially if Camara plays in the three of them are together. This is just a disaster.

I don't know if I want to touch any of this. The Saints, man. I got a little pushback because I wrote an article about the Saints before the season and basically how they're all in and extremely, extremely highly leveraged on winning this year and then they spent like three first rounders to go get Olave. And I'm like, might not be the best plan. I mean, Olave looks solid.

He looks really good. But is he going to change the like absolutely like complexioning your team? Like sometimes it makes sense to. Well, it's hard with all your best players. Have a little depth. Still, though. Jesus. That's, that's where having depth helps because the NFL season is long.

So that's where we're going to the running back ad. So again, that's Nehim Hines and the Colts, Melbourne Gordon, the Broncos. Mike Boone of the Broncos. Rahim Osprety was out there in the Dolphins. Rashad White for the Buckshaugh's. Oh my God, and then good luck. Janine Kissick for Washington, Checo for the Chiefs.

I like McHickson. Soup. No groaning for me from Kissing. Okay. All grove. And then, yeah, if you're super, super desperate, you go Craig Reynolds or you're memory, but they'll probably just work leaving there.

Okay, receiver time. Again, guys that are probably too rostered for this exercise, but that you should probably add it through there. Romeo Dobbs for the Packers, if he's there, you probably want to get him. Michael Gallop. is back for Dallas at a touchdown. All the ACL guys had a good week.

Godwin, Gallup, Jake Dobbins, it's good week to the ACL guys. Otherwise, D.K., who's your number one wide receiver waiver pick after week four? Did you mention Isaiah McKenzie? He's, I think, over the limit for what we do here, but with Jameson Crowder breaking his ankle, potentially he's going to be out for a long time,

this could really make Isaiah McKenzie's role much more valuable. We don't know if McKenzie's going to play this week. He's probably more of a stash, right? Because we're not sure. No, the rest of season, he's, I think, going to be very valuable. because the reason he wasn't doing more in this offense

is because basically he's splitting reps with James and Crowder throughout the first half of the season. And so if he has a full-time role, you know, he's potential like a wide receiver three the rest of the season. So I don't know. I would prioritize him if he's out there. Even if he doesn't play this we got,

I would definitely add him. But apart from that, since we set our thing at 40%, George Pickens is my guy. George Pickens. I don't think we need to explain it all that much. Like, I think with, Going forward, obviously, they're going to, who they play in the Bucks this weekend?

They're playing the Bills. Sorry, the Bills. The Bills who are very, very good on defense. The Sears have a couple of very strong opponents coming up. However, the Kenny Pickett connection with Pickens seems real. Did you say the Seahawks? Are you having a stroke? Steelers have tough opponents coming up.

Yes. I don't think I said the Seahawks, but I don't know. I don't know for sure. Do I smell toast? Regardless. the Steelers, they have a tough couple of opponents coming up but Pickens, obviously,

big time star in preseason. We can see the talent, it's very apparent. Trubisky just would never throw him the goddamn ball. Pickett knows where his bread is butter. He's throwing him to football out of a very high rate. And so maybe this Pickens thing is happening. I think at the very least, it's worth, it's very much worth

taking a flyer on Pickens and seeing if he can turn into like a star rookie receiver this year. The pitch is simple. It's all the cool highlights you saw George Pickens in the preseason were from Kenny Pickett. Also, like, George Pickens has already made, like, three of the best 10 catches of the season. And he has, like, 10 targets this year.

Pickens is also my number one guy, Craig. I assume it's the same for you. Yep. Okay. See, this is a little more fun than the... So it's for all the marbles. Can we talk about how much money, if you're in a free agent auction bidding waiver system,

how much money you would spend on George Pickens, roughly? Because his upside is kind of... like enormous, right? Like, there is a world in which he's like a top 10 wide receiver by the end of the season. I would spread a pretty massive chunk of money on Mike Boone Pickens combo because if you're down bad,

if you need a receiver, you're trying to hope that George Pickens actually ends up being the best rookie receiver, even though there's already been good ones. Like, if there's a 25% chance that George Pickens is just the top two rookie receiver the rest of the way and just fantastic, I would spend a third of your budget?

A third, a third, was what I was thinking, and I wouldn't, like, shame you if you weren't higher. I think you're probably going to need to spend a lot to get him because people who are paying attention in the preseason are like, hell, yeah, this is happening. I'd be willing to spend two-thirds on the Boone's Boone Pickens combo because Giovanni being out for the season.

Melvin Gordon is not taking, like, a lion's share. I don't think he's really going to be able to take, you know, 70%. Like, Mike Boone's going to get a really large amount of carries for Denver, and he can catch. T-Boon Pickens. Did you guys pick up on that? T-Bone, what? T-Bin-Pickens is like a really famous businessman guy.

I don't know who that is. Cool. We haven't done trivia yet, okay? His name is T-Boon-Pickens. I if it's just said Boone-Pickens without even, like, hesitating. I remember Drake tweeted the first millions, the hardest, and T-Boon-Pickens, who was like 90 years old, quote tweeted him and said the first billions a hell of a lot harder.

And that's how I learned to T-Bin-Pickens. Also, I'm pretty sure he died. He did. He died in 2019. As of 2016, he had a net worth of $500 million. So is that how much you would bid on him in free agency? Yeah. Bit on these guys?

The T-Boon Pickens number. The answer is a lot. T-Boon couldn't even buy that house in Bunei. If you're 1 in 4, if you're 1 in 4 or even 2 and 2, I think you could blow almost everything you got on Pickens and Boone. I think you have to be ready, though, for it to be... I mean, I think there's still a little bit of speculation here. Number one, Tomlin's being a little bit of.

little bit cagey about who he's going to start going to. He's going to play picket. Probably. Probably. I would agree. If they bring Chubisky back out there and he throws like three picks again in the first half against the bills and they've got to bring picket in again as the backup. When you're bidding with free agent dollars though, like you don't have the luxury of waiting.

If you're like one and three, if you're two and two, it doesn't matter. If you lose the next couple weeks, it's going to be impressive. Yeah, you have to spend it. Like you're going to wait for a different running back. That's really important to have a different season ending injury and then hopefully get that guy who's going to be. It's like, this is the best you're probably, you know, you can't just hope. Like, this is the opportunity. I totally agree.

I feel the same way about the auction draft, which is like, spend the extra four, five, six bucks on the guy you want. You'll be happy you did in the end. And same with waivers. Like, if you missed out on Jeff Wilson, Mike Boone is the next big guy. And there's usually not a ton of them every year. There's like two, three running backs that actually change the course of a fantasy season off the waiver wire. So spend the money.

Yeah, and usually it's early in the year. Like, you know, there's probably not going to be a whole lot more guys after that. It was Elijah Mitchell last year. It's been Jeff Wilson so far. Now it might be Mike Boone. And I think, again, the key with Mike Boone is if Melvin Gordon misses a week for any reason, Mike Boone's a top 15 running back in that situation. Melvin Gordon is 29 and can't stop fumbling.

Spend whatever you want on Pickens and Boone. All right. So we all have Pickens. We go do the showdown time for George Pickens. This is the sexiest showdown time of the season. Play some like George Michael or something. This is the George. Pickens, I almost said George Michael,

Showdown time. George Michael. Okay. Four years ago, Elon Musk launched his Tesla roadster into space, complete with a mannequin wearing a spacesuit in the driver's seat and David Bowie's space oddity playing on a repeat. It was four years ago. Today, how many miles away is that roadster from Earth?

Did he launch it? I guess he launched out of orbit then? I didn't know about it. I thought it was in orbit. Am I crazy? I have, I guess that's super important, though.

This is probably part of the question. Can we, well, no, we should know if we, can we Google whether it's in orbit or not? Because that's like a mat,

if it's just been flying away, that's a huge difference. Somebody Google it. In the meantime, I want to talk about how the fact I saw the Starlink this weekend. It was pretty crazy.

Have you guys seen it apart? Yeah, because it's basically like, up in the sky, you know, you can see a satellite going by or whatever. Yeah. That's like, it's just weird quickly.

But Starlink is like, I don't know how many, a hundred of those in a row, like all connected by a line. It's pretty crazy, look it. I have to imagine that this Tesla is out of orbit because the distance wouldn't have really changed in four years. That's what I'm saying. Let's assume that it's, there's no way to do it.

It's out of orbit, and it's been just traveling in some particular direction for four years. Oh, man. How fast do you have to go to get out of orbit? You know, when you're scared to answer a question, like in class, because you're just afraid of how wrong you're going to be? Yep. It's what I feel right now.

That's how I feel every one of these questions. Why is this special? I don't know. Anytime like, once we get into like distance and space, I'm like, man, the magnitude of by which we're wrong has seems to increase every time. I'm not going to lie, I just cheated and I just did the math of what I'm thinking in my calculator. Google. Oh, you actually punch something into a calculator? No, I instinctively, and then I really think is cheating. So I'm owning up to it. But I just, was doing, I'm going like 100,000 miles an hour times 24 hours times 365 times four years.

Why do you, you think it's going 100,000 miles per hour? Is that not? I don't know how fast, I don't know. How fast you got to throw something to get it out of the earth? I don't know how fast. Launch. I don't know. I guess it's super wrong.

Did it get hooked up to the bifrost or something? Like, I don't, there's no way of guessing this. I'm just going to guess like four or light years. Can you guys tell me how far away is Mars? The sun is 92 million miles away, and so Mars is only... Fitts is thinking so hard right now. 10 million miles away is Mars? How far away is the light year?

I'm Googling it. I don't know. Like a trillion miles away or something? I don't know. Oh, I was totally wrong. Mars is 72 million miles away. I'm changing my answer. I'm just going to say it's...

Wait, we all do it at the same time. I'm going to say, God, it's been traveling for four years. years. That's so long. And just every single second that goes by, that thing is just ripping through space. Okay, we are ready? Do we decide that it's not in orbit? Is that true?

Yes, we're guessing as if it's not in orbit. Okay. We decided that many. You're in your 40s now. We got to keep up. All right. Three, two, one. 500 million miles.

I said 20 miles. I said 500 million. I just said the sun was 92 million away. You think you got to the sun and went back? How long does it take to get to the sun? I don't know. Not four years. You think way longer?

I mean, it takes sunlight eight minutes. Yeah? So, like, it's not close to this. You know what? Let's just look at the answer. What did you say, DK? I said eight million. I said 20 million.

Oh, wow. I was a low end. So like it's going to be like, fuck. 35 miles. 90 million miles away. Oh, my God. What is it?

190 million miles. Suck it. So it is further than the sun. That's cool. What? Am I wrong on the sun number? What a win for me? What did you guess?

500 million? Oh my God, I was right. So that car has gone like the distance of the sun and back? He has other things he should be spending money out, I feel like. Dude, isn't it crazy what you can do when you're rich? Like, he's like, I'm just going to put one of my cars in space and everyone's like, okay. Yeah, instead he just tried to buy Twitter and then realized this about it. It was like his drunk Amazon.

on purchase and now we're trying to dispute the order except it was for $40 billion. It's unbelievable. Okay. I didn't get the extra dressing in my salad. I'd like my money back. All right, Craig. So Craig, you get George Pickens. That's fitting.

It's only fitting that Craig gets Pickens on this one. I wasn't close to close. Dika, you get the next best receiver here. Dang it. This is tough. There's one very, very tough. There's one clear option? Maybe two.

I think there's two. I'm going to go with Zay Jones. Go back to the well with Zay Jones. He missed last week with an injury, but the week before, 11 targets. Yeah. I think he's going to be closer going back. Through three weeks,

he had a 22% target rate. I just couldn't do it with Rondale Moore. I don't know if that's the other guy that you had in mind. But yeah, Zay Jones. Yeah, Zay Jones is a good one. Zay Jones is just, again, like probably the highest floor receiver that will be on waivers for your old season. Zay Jones is just like, it feels like not.

He is the most, likely player to get you like nine and a half points among all the guys that are loosely around. By low on the Jags. They're still good. Trevor Lawrence is still good. They're playing Houston next week too. Yeah. I'm taking Josh Reynolds for the Lions.

I don't know if Amon West St. Brown is going to be out or DJ Shark, we've got to see. But I mean, this offense again. What do we say the Lions have 200 and the Lions games are at 280 or so points. It's the most literally in NFL history to start a season. It's insane. They're just crushing an offense. They're giving up the most points on defense. Like, Reynolds said 80 yards in a touchdown.

Like, I mean, you just need a, it's not complicated. It's like, just have the guy on the team scoring the most points. Like, that's it. And he just stepped up. So I think, as any of the lines receivers miss time, give me Josh Reynolds. And, like, it'll probably be better than the starters you drafted in the first round full. I know. After waiver is clear and players become free and the first game, it started out of the next week,

after you've done your waivers, after you spent $33 on George Pickens, after you spent $10 on Zay Jones and Josh Reynolds. If he's free, Cadarius Tony. Tony. I'm like the last person in Scientology who's still like, I don't know,

there's making some good points with Cadarius Tony. Mind you, he just was out last week. He's still hurt. Keep this in mind. I think he's supposed to be back. Also,

if you don't like Tony, get Wondell Robertson, go pick him up. Also, Kenny Galleneg got hurt. Can keep getting hurt. There's no one left. We know they're hurt.

We know they're hurt. They're going to be back soon. I'm just checking. That's the point. I'm just. So you're going to, You're going to hold on to Wondale when Daniel Jones. I'm just saying, like, we're telling people to pick all these guys up.

I love Wondale, but at this point, the entry, him being a rookie, all these quarterbacks are hurt. I don't know if you want to be holding on to Wondale. Tony makes sense to me. The only other person I would say is Rondale Morph of the Cardinals who played 65 out of 76 snaps yesterday. Five targets, which was third behind Hollywood Brown and Zach Ertz. He basically took over for Dorch. Dorch only saw one target on 27 snaps, which is what we had to make. George got dorked.

Dorch? It sucks, because Dorch was playing really well. But he's not part of it anymore. It doesn't look like that. Rondale's a good one. I think there are other guys, depending on your platform,

that are much lower-owned. I think you guys, there's also, I mean, Marcus Vald is Scandling, if you want to dart throw. I mean, I don't like him. No.

I'd way rather have Wondale. You'd rather have Wondale Robinson than Markesvaldos scantling. By like a mile. Yes. Really? Yeah, easily. Why?

Because, MVS is going to get you like one, catch for like 30 yards or whatever. Like anytime you try and start him. Daniel Jones has not had 200 yards in a game this year. If we're talking next week, I would take Scantling. Scalings had 40 yards in three or four games.

Wandale, I mean, yeah. Well, this scaling is high this year is 7.8 points. But to be clear, for next week, though, you're not taking Wondale. You're not recommending him of Wondale for next week. Really? He has one catch in his career. Yeah. Marcus

I have a I have a market I have a very massive Marcus Valvis can't like bias I'm not I would not start him

for any the money in the world DK is also a very optimistic guy about like young rookies and he's always kind of on the side of like I would way rather

take the unknown and the upside of like a guy like Cadarious Tony or Wando Robinson over what we know is not going to happen with Marcus Velas Can'tley

yeah I just think Marcus is a better I mean look the point is if you're having these problems then you have bigger problems than, I mean, these are all not great guys. But Josh Palmer for the charges,

even though Keene and Allen might come back, like, I mean, that's a guy. You'd rather than Josh Palmer than Wando Robinson, like, right? Yeah. Corey Davis, as weird as it is to say, Cory Davis and the Jets, like, I kind of just think Zach Wilson's a little better. Corey Davis is good.

He's been good. He was always good. He has a boring name. Yes, fifth pick. I think Corey Davis, for whatever, like the splits aren't dramatic, but I do think Zach Wilson looks to Corey Davis more in the end zone. He's also just, Corey Davis is just like a bigger receiver.

It's more physical. I think one of the reasons he's not, he's fine blocking. I think a lot of receivers don't like to block. Corey Davis is fine with it. But I think Zach Wilson just kind of looks to him a little more like risk-taking, throwing a little bigger receiver, whereas, you know, timing, more adult quarterbacking stuff with Elijah Moore. So again, not saying, do him, but he's, you could do worse than Corey Davis. I'd rather Corey Davis than Wanda Robinson.

Have you seen how many points Corey Davis has scored this year? Like what his totals have been throughout their year? Weirdly, he's been really good. He has been great. He's put up 15, 10, 3, 15. We'd rather have Corey Davis than MBS. Leaps and bounds. Watch MVS have like 35.

Corey Davis is the wide receiver 26 on the year. Yeah. Another stash, but that's fantasy entropy. No one was playing in. A guy that stash, if he's in your league, he's around, just keep in mind, James and Williams, for the Lions. Ooh, good one. The fastest guy in college football.

If you have a league with an injured reserve, he might be on it. If you don't have an injured reserve in your league, I feel like Jameson Williams is probably not rostered. So he, towards ACL in the college football playoffs, Alabama probably wins that game if he doesn't get hurt at halftime. And then imagine this lion's offense, and you kind of just insert the fastest dude.

Again, it's coming out of an ACL. Who knows how quickly it can come back? He might not be the same. But at this point, I think the Lions' offense has been so good and so, like, so much passing that you kind of just want to see what would happen if Jameson Williams was anywhere close to good. I don't know if he will be, but at this point, It's pretty incredible to think what he might be able to do.

When I first saw that James Williams, he landed on the lions, I was like, ugh, that sucks. Like, that's the worst. But now, like, four weeks into the season and the Lions are the fantasy, like, rainbow strip or whatever. What is it, the Mario Kart rainbow strip? Like, they are the turbo boost. Turbo boost for fantasy. I kind of am very intrigued now to see how this all goes. If you're 4-0, that's a James Williams stash.

You can just throw, you know, championship time. Maybe you just have him. Let's throw him around. tight ends. Here's where it gets dark. Over the threshold that if they're around, grab them, no question. David and Joku, no question.

That's a guy, just plug and play every week. Gerald Everett is like probably the lesser version of a joku. Like, you can play them every week. It's a little scary now that the charged offense has gone down. But those guys around take them. Otherwise, D.K., who's your number one pick at tight end after week four? The tight end group this week is really rough. I'm going to go with Hayden Hurst for the Bengals,

who I believe he's starting to see his playing time ramp up but he's been hurt the last couple of weeks or at least banged up but at the end of the day he's running a route on 92% of the snaps that he's playing so like really good route participation over 70% of the team's dropbacks he's running a route that's really strong number

the production's not really quite there yet he did have a touchdown this last game but yeah I mean in terms of the underlying usage I think he's the strongest guy in this group of potential free agent tight ends right now. Like there's a lot of other guys that you could sort of throw a dart at, but I don't feel really good about them.

So I'm going with Haydenhurst. The trivia question for tight ends is the most important every single week because having to pick last in this tight ends pool, so bleak. It's so bleak. I have Haydenhurst as well. You know, when he's healthy,

he plays like 75, 80% of snaps, which is like as good as it's going to get off the waiver wire. Yeah, I begrudgingly would put him there as well. I mean, Tyler Conklin, I mean. Yeah, he's still, is he still out there? He is, yeah, in some leagues. So I would probably take Tyler Conklin first, although I guess we can graduate him for the purpose of this exercise if we want.

We've talked about a lot. First. So we can put Conklin, like, out of the range if we want. Like, I, are you guys, would you guys put him? He's 42% on Yahoo, which is the reason I didn't mention him. But like, yeah, if he's still out there, I would still probably put him first just because, again, he's running, I think he's still run more routes than any other tight end this year.

He's running a lot of routes. He's out there, like, catching passes. I still think he has an ability to, you know, put up like Mendoza, or sorry, Amendoza line numbers. I agree. If Conklin's out, then I would, I guess I would also take begrudgingly Haydenhurst. Begrudgingly. All right.

This is the begrudging showdown time. Oh, I already, I already. No George Michael on this one. Can I bail? I actually would rather just take, give me Robert Tunney. I'm bailing. So Craig and I are going for Hayden. Harris? The Packers are playing the Giants next week. It's in London. I just think Robert Tunyon's

going to catch a touchdown. I'm like the Giants are going to blitz Aaron Rogers. It's going to go really poorly. There's no way. So just give me Robert Tunyon, Touchstone Express. You guys can fight over Hayden Hurst. It's the Hayden Hurst showdown time. It's really, really sad. It's like when you, like, sometimes you want to take a shot with the group and sometimes the group makes you take a shot. This is like Craig basically not wanting to take a shot. They're just making him do it.

He begrudgingly does it because he's like, the one friend in the dorm who's like, I'm going to stay in and study tonight. And they're like, nah, man. Take a shot on this Gelby's vodka. Fine. All right.

This is from Brian. Brian. This is a good one. Imagine that Barry Bonds unretires. How many consecutive at bats does Barry Bonds have to make an out

to decrease his career on base percentage to under 400. Jesus. So Barry Bonds is on base percentage for his career. That's crazy. That's $700. $4.44. That's insane, by the way.

444. How many at-bats does he need to drop it below $400? Outs. How many outs does he need? Sorry, yeah. Well, outs, yeah. If he just walked up and got out and every ad bat, just struck out.

To go from, what is it, 444, you said? To under $400. How many at-bats? years. High Fitz, yeah, you're a fantasy baseball guy. How many out bats would, like, an average player have in a year? 500 at bats a year? Yeah, let's go with that.

That's for mass sake. Yeah. How much of year? I'm going to say, like, 650 at bats. Yeah, my initial reaction was 500, so I'll just go with that. Like a whole year of just getting out every single time. The answer is 1,427. Oh, 1400?

Yeah. 1427. Dude, I just, I mean, obviously. I'm not a huge baseball guy, but man, there was that couple of years there where he was either hitting a home run or getting walked. Like, there was no in between. Yeah. It's crazy.

I'll still never forget when they literally, the bases were loaded against Barry Bonds, and they'd rather walk him. Yeah, we'd rather just take the run. And walk in a run and have him hit. Yeah. That's another thing. I think walk should be illegal. You shouldn't be able to intentionally walk anybody in baseball. Well, the whole reason it's because then you

would just throw the walk and not call it an unintentional walk and just walk some. You can't enforce that. Yeah, I guess. Well, if you have to make it within some area of the strike zone, and if you don't, it doesn't count, you have to throw it again. It's a mulligan. This is just a different sport. No, you can't just throw it like eight feet to the left.

That's not baseball. You know, it's funny. It's the most diehard baseball fans I know, actually, agree with you. Yeah, it's dumb. You don't even have to throw the pitches anymore. I love very small tweaks to sports from fans of other sports, but not outrageous ones. Like, I kind of wish basketball had like 20 feet behind them.

So you're just like shooting into space? Yeah, I wish there was like hockey. Hockey is so interesting because there's space behind the net. I wish basketball had that, like 10 feet behind the hoop. Oh, my God. That is the dumbest shit. It's not. Every time I watch hockey, I'm like, man, I wish bass.

That'd be cool. They're on skates. And you can go like four feet behind What is anybody going to do 10 feet behind a basketball hoop? There's a giant backboard facing them. I don't know. Are they going to run into the pole and the ground?

Like the holding up the hoop? I don't know. No. I'm intrigued. This is an insane take. It's terrible to this. It's what? Just one hoop to rule them all.

And then you run in circles around it. You guys, you're going to watch a basketball game. I just think my idea makes hitting more entertaining and yours makes the game less entertaining. How is it less entertaining? It's more space for people, but you can't shoot from the entire new area

that you just created. You can't shoot now. Is there no backboard? Well, that's a whole other ground. I thought about taking the backboard up. You'd have to remove the backboard, but then actually we're just fully changing the sport. That's too much change.

It's just like a levitate. It's like a drone. The rim is just a drone. drone. Hovering drone. Isn't it like Quidditch? Isn't there like a hovering circle in the sky? This is slowly turning into Quidditch.

Here's the deal. You're on flying brooms, too. All right, we can move on. Anyway, I don't remember. Isn't Quidditch is kind of like hockey in the sky? La Crosse in the sky? It basically is. I know what you're saying?

All right. God, so okay, one of you gets a universe. I don't remember who said what. God damn it. Craig wins. I got him. I had a strong day today. And I got Robert Tunyon, D.K.

Here's my deal. I'm going with Hunter Henry, the Patriots. Wow, I'm insulted. Johnny Smith got hurt, and that is the only reason why. Patriots are playing the Lions, so the Rainbow Speedstrip, so I get that. There we go. I mean, I feel like they're going to have fucking Bailey Zappa, quarterback. Good luck with that.

I'm surprised Daniel Bellinger for the Giants, man. He's the tight end. We're talking about, like, oh, Wondale will come in and have his, like, basically, a second career game and get his second career catch, Tony will just play. Dude, Daniel Vellinger is the tight end for the Giants. We just got done talking for like 20 minutes about how the Giants played a Navy

game where it was the triple option and Daniel Belanger was the leading receiver with 23 yards. Well, yeah, but I'm just saying I'd rather, but like we're lowering the bar. It's a tight end. Like streaming a tight end is different than picking up a wide receiver. George Pickens is out there. Like, these are very talented guys. I'm talking about one game. Daniel Bellinger legit.

the number one option in the game. It's fine. I mean, it's about on par, honestly, with Hunter Henry. The other guy that's throughout there, Logan Thomas, again, this is like Hayden Hurst style. The underlying usage numbers are strong. 94% route participation. So when he's out there, he's running routes. He's running around

on 71% of the teams drop out, so that's really good. The production's not really there, but he's getting a good amount of targets, and I think the production will come eventually. It at least gives you a tiny bit of a floor, so you're not going to get probably a zero. So I would say him, and then John Dotson for Washington, though, has a hamstring injury.

So he's probably, if he doesn't play this week, that's better for Logan. That's another one. That's another good reason to add Logan Thomas. Will Disley scored a touchdown in three out of four games. So I'm sure that'll carry. Add him so we can get two points for your team. Yeah. Now that he's done scoring those.

I think I'm changing my number. I'm changing my answer to Logan Thomas. There you go. Logan Thomas. Okay, quarterbacks. I don't feel like people probably don't need to stream quarterbacks this week. Like, not that many injuries. You're probably fine.

But if you do, not great options. Jared Goff, obviously the Lions have been incredible. They're playing the Patriots. It's not awesome, but, like, I mean, Goff. It's hard to argue against Goff. Gino Smith, great game, playing the Saints. The Saints defense is much better than the Lions. That seems hard.

Lawrence, if you want to get back on the horse, Jaggs are playing the Texans. I'd rather have Trevor Lawrence, but a lot of guys, Kenny Pickett, like, you know, he's got wheels. You know, Kenny Pickett was the first quarterback to have two rushing touchdowns in his first career game. Would not start Kenny Pickett against the bills?

To be clear, that's kind of what I'm saying is, there's not really many options. Like, if you're in a two quarterback league, you know, these guys obviously, but realistically, you probably don't need to stream a quarterback. You're probably fine. What about Teddy Bridgewater against the Jets? You don't need these guys.

Super excited about that. Maybe that's not bad. If you want to just spin the chamber and take a gamble, Carson Wentz is playing Tennessee. Their starters are better. Whoever you has, we know who the quarterbacks are. We know is hurt. And like, if you have them,

your guys are probably better. Don't stream a quarterback this week. Defense on the other hand. Last week, bad for defense is streaming. This week. very good. Four teams in particular. One of these four teams, I bet, is available in the league. In order that I would probably want them. The Broncos are playing the Colts. Thursday night football. So wacky shit happens on Thursdays. The Colts have the second most turnovers to think of the

entire year. Matt Ryan has obviously played awful. Like they're fumbling a lot. Throwing picks. The offensive line for whatever he's in can't protect. I mean, you know, if Jonathan Taylor's just a lot of stress in this team. I think that that would be pretty incredible as an opportunity. Dolphins are playing the Jets. I think Zach Wilson is like a mortal lock for an interception. The Dolphins defense, I just bless his heart. Didn't you see that statistic when Zach Wilson threw the pick against the Steelers?

He had the longest running streak in the NFL of not having to turn a pick 170 attempts in a row? Zach Wilson? Yes. Oh, I didn't know that. I don't care. I could not care less. He will throw a pick. to the dolphins. I don't care.

I thought that was like, I was like, is this a lie? Is this like Zach Wilson propaganda? Like, did his, who sent this staten? This is incorrect. Many people are saying 170 attempts. Did Zach Wilson, right? No. I don't care.

I'll bet against Zach Wilson. The Vikings are playing the Bears. We don't need to explain any further. As Craig said on Sunday, the Bears are the Navy midshipmen. They don't like, that's just a great one. And then the Titans are playing, if those are all gone, the Titans are playing Washington.

obviously Carson Wentz, turnovers, like the commanders are a disgrace. Like, they're really awful. Discrete. They are.

They are. They are. They are. Broncos, Dolphins, Vikings, Titans, I think one of those defense is probably out there. You know how Bill's fantasy league

every year, 13 guys show up to the draft and they send one home? Yeah. We should do that in the NFL. Relegate? Every year, the worst team in the league

just shouldn't be able to They shouldn't be allowed to play next year. So we'll get to, there's some big voting system. We all get to decide which team we just don't want to have to fucking watch next year. And we can all vote and it'll be the Bears. And the Bears just don't play in 2020. It's my idea. Then they just distribute the players to other teams or what?

Yeah. Try on the Bears fans would even be mad about that. It'd be like a relief. Like you act like you're mad. You're like, oh my God. It's like now I can do so many things on Sunday. Yeah, like the city of Chicago gets like Sunday's free for a year. See, I was talking to my mom.

Like when the Giants got really, really bad a few years ago, like when it became clear the Giants were like the worst team in football, I called my mom be like, oh my God, are you upset about the team? She's like, you know what? I'm having a great day. I'm like out on Sundays. I'm not watching the games. Like, I feel free.

This is great. I don't have to care. Like, it was wonderful. She's just carefree. There's something to that. Like, every five years or so, you just need a break from like committing to watching your team every night. When the Warriors were super injured that one year,

the year after Durant left and just nobody, Drey, Clay, and stuff, were all out. It was wonderful. I just didn't have any basketball watch for like three months. It's the sports version of what we were talking about yesterday with DK talking about when you're a dad and you have your kids and all these responsibilities that when you get to take a poop

and just be on your phone for 20 minutes, it's the only time of solitude. You need those moments. We actually got a lot of emails about that. I'm sure, yeah. What? Looking at your phone while taking a shit? Yeah, actually. I mean, Brian actually emailed in and said

wanted to corroborate what D. I said, I have a two-year-old and a four-year-old and a high-energy lab. The only solitude I get from the 10 minutes of me staring at the abyss that is my phone in the bathroom. It's just utter chaos otherwise, like at all times. Well, this is why people smoke cigarettes, right, a long time ago. So you didn't have a phone. And when you were sitting there bored on the couch, you just were like, I got nothing

to do. I guess I'll have a cigarette. And that's the same thing as like, I guess I'll unlock my phone, see what's going on. Yeah. I mean, watching picky blinders, that does seem to be the vibe. It's just like, yeah, what else are going to do? DK, start. You should only smoke cigarettes

whenever you take a poop. Yeah. How cool. That would be the coolest habit ever. A lot of cigarettes. Well, not like, well, I mean, not like a shit like 12 times a day,

but like that's not just like every once in a while. One or two cigs a day. That sounds great. That's safe, right? Yeah. Okay. Just a little buzz. Just wet the beak.

Well, in the bathroom, I don't know if you wanted. I forgot to, yeah, so DK turned 40 on Sunday. We forgot to say that up top. And we got a bunch of emails, but we got one from Eric.

Eric. Eric says I'm 46, and my dad shared with me when I turned 40 that, quote, getting old ain't for pussies. I mean, yeah. And then Eric writes that my 40s have been even more fun than my 30s. My boys are older.

They're in school, and they can even stay home by themselves while mom and dad get an impromptu date night, and their sports resemble real games and not mosh bits of little bodies running around out of control. Of course, the flip side of being in your 40s is you randomly get hurt.

I've strained my neck, brushing my teeth. I've hurt my back sneezing and I've somehow strained my rib cage drying myself off after a shower. I've hurt my neck. I've literally had like a muscle spasm in my neck drying myself off with a towel. Like that's happened multiple times

so I feel your pain. Craig just did the uncomfortable like hand through the hair. I don't want to think about that which is funny because Eric literally writes, Craig and Haifitz are probably reading this wondering what kind of freak brushes their teeth so violently that you strain your neck? Dry off from a shower,

but it's like, man, shit happens. I got to open. Eric's world up. Electric toothbrush. There you go. No more straining. Men of our generation are too old school, Craig. Can't we doing that?

My day, we used to rush our teeth manually, and we're sticking with it. I sit down in the morning, I open up the Wall Street Journal, newspaper, light up a cigarette, take a shit. Well, on that note, we talked about our phones.

Johnny emailed in and asked a very important question. Obviously, we're all on our phones. like when we go to the bathroom. Yeah. But you never think about how many texts do you think you get from other people while they're people? So many.

Oh, yeah. I don't really like to think about that. No, no one does. Like you got, someone else is like, hey, look at this. You're holding their phone and it's like, man, phones are gross. I know, no one ever washes their phone.

No. Think about that. The phone's been everywhere. Anything you touch. But like, like, you know, cash. Dude, phones are way gross. When you're out at a bar and you're like shaking hands

and you're touching doorknobs, you're just going right to the phone 24-7. You come home, you wash your hands. It's all still on the phone. You ever wash your hands before, like, you eat and then go back to your phone and be like, well, why did I even bother washing my hands? Yeah, it makes no sense.

This reminds me of the bit from Superbad where he's like, yeah, before I became a cop, I just thought there was semen on everything. Like, everywhere. How much semen is on every phone. Jesus. Sorry. This took a turn.

You're in your 40s, and there's trace amounts of cocaine on every phone. It's like, you know how they say that about money? There's like trace accounts or amounts of cocaine on all dollar bills. Probably the same with phones. So, why, wash your hands before you pee.

That's my take. Makes no sense to do it the other way around. Thank you, G.K., thank you to everyone who emailed in. Thank you, Tyler Conklin? No, no. No. Thank you, Lauren. Lauren.

Thank you, Tyler the Creator. Oh. Wow. Roll the punches there. Tyler Conklin, Tyler, Creator. Nice. I'm stunned. You know Tyler the Creator, but, like, not a Drake song.

You know Tyler Creator. I just don't know the names of Drake songs for the 20 millionth time. I've heard Drake's before. I remember the Tyler Creator, the Yonkers video when it came out. That was like one of the first real times I was like, this is a music video that I've never seen before. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that was like a crazy moment.

I don't think I've seen it. I'm going to Google that. It's like black and white. He's just like sitting on a stool rapping, but he's got a, is it a cockroach? What bugs on his hand? But like one of those, it's like an African, like hissing cockroach,

like one of the ones that Joe Rogan used to make people eat in Fear Factor. It's huge. And I believe he has black contacts in and he's just playing with this bug on his hand as he wraps. It's very interesting. Evocative. Evocative. Gets the people going.

Isn't it provocative? It is provocative. Well, there are different words, but the quote is provocative. Okay. Evocative is a word, though. What's the difference? I don't know the difference in those meetings.

Bringing strong images, memories, or feelings to mind. I think evocative is more like, it's like less, provocative is like it's inciting, like, controversial. Yeah. It's trolling.

Yes. Evocative is much more pure. It's just like evoking memories and feelings, I think. All right, well, on that lovely note, we're glad we can provide insight, as always, and clear up everything for buddy. Thank you for listening. Emosurringerfinacy, football, gmail.com. If you got trivia, anything you want to,

or just any thoughts on the written-up conversation. Thank you to Jesse for production help. Goodbye, everyone.