The Ringer NFL Show - Week 1 Recap: Horror for the Steelers and Giants, the TE Apocalypse, and Fantasy No-Shows

Episode Date: September 11, 2023

The guys recap a bizarre Week 1, beginning with the utter collapse of each of their favorite teams, passing the baton of misery to one another throughout the day. Then, they talk about the terrible performances from all of the quarterbacks who just signed massive contracts (coincidence???), Arthur Smith’s steadfast refusal to give his best players the football, and the minefield that was the TE fantasy landscape in Week 1. Then, they induct their first player into the 2023 Fantasy Burn Book. Check out our Week 1 Fantasy Football Rankings for this week’s positional rankings and more!Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please check out theringer.com/RG to find out more or listen to the end of the episode for additional details. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Social: Kiera Givens and Jack Sanders Producer: Carlos Chiriboga Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Football is officially back and we've got you covered right here on the Ringer NFL feet. I'm Shield Capadia and every Tuesday and Friday, Ben Solek and I will be bringing you extra point taken. Nora Pryanti here to tell you that Stephen Ruiz and I will be coming to you every Monday and Thursday. Our Monday show will recap everything from Sunday's games. Thursday show will encompass any news during the week with an eye towards the next slate of games. Subscribe to the Ringer NFL show on Spotify or wherever you get your podcast. be sure to follow the Ringer NFL on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter at Ringer NFL. Welcome to the Ringer Fantasy Football Show.

My name is Danny Eiffitz. And I am joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Rolbeck. And the first Sunday of the NFL season is over. And I just await the sweet embrace of death. Because I just watched my New York Giants. I think lose the worst game I've ever seen. my entire life. It's actually not even over.

There's eight minutes left in the game as we're doing this podcast. It's 40 to nothing. Currently, as it stands, the Cowboys defense is the second highest scoring player of the day. They have 36 fantasy points only behind Tari Kill. I think it's the worst game I've seen. I think it's the worst performance by a team I've seen in many years. Which is nice.

Yes, because so here's how the day went for the three of us. I, a Steelers fan, Danny Kelly, a Seahawks fan, Hyve, it's a Giants fan. I had the 10 o'clock misery slate. So for 10 to 1 Pacific, I was miserable. From 1 to 4 Pacific, D.K. was miserable. And then from 5 to 8 Pacific, High Fitz was miserable. So if you collect it all, we were just miserable collectively for 12 hours.

You know what? I'm just letting you know right now. I was super good about this loss for like a long time because they kicked your teeth in immediately. So you didn't expect to have teeth, right? I'm like, all right, cool. like we're not going to win this game, it's fine. And then I think it just kind of hit me. I was going to say as the game ended, it's still going on,

that this is the worst giant's loss I've ever seen. If you factor in how thoroughly we were beaten and the expectations. And I realize that if it's not, or actually rather, it will remain the worst giant's loss I ever see in my life. And if it doesn't, that means I'll have to enter something like this again. And frankly, I've never had such expectations for, a squad that was, like, I just... Well, we all had, we all had expectations.

So we do awards on Sunday nights, and the award I'm giving this is the take the cartridge out and blow on it award. For you, Youngens, that is a Nintendo reference. You used to take the cartridge out and blow on it to get the dust out if it wasn't working correctly. All of our teams need, we just need to take the cartridge out, blowing it, reset the season. Let's start the season over. What do you think? Yeah, right. There used to be four preseason games. I would, let's go back to that. Let's do that again.

Can we count this as preseason? Obviously, the Giants are the worst of it, but I do actually think the first two weeks of the season, or at least the first week, there is a lot of preseason vibes. Like the reality is these starters are playing less than ever in the preseason. And I do think you're seeing aspects of that. I wish it was not such like, you know, on the nose with the Giants. But the Giants and the Steelers with the darlings of the preseason. And look how fucking off.

God, this is what? do we even have to talk? How could any, how could, this is the only thing that could have ruined the high you got from Cadarius Tony on Thursday night football having possibly the worst game of all time from a receiver, maybe, possibly? It was like,

Cadarius Tony, the high of him having one receiving yard, and then watching the Giants receivers combined, needing 38 minutes to get one receiving yard. It was like me reaping. Yeah. I'm sewing like, no. No, what the fuck?

Yeah. Anyway, everyone kind of looked bad. though today. How much good football was there really today? This is week one in general. I remember there was like one season opener. I think it was Bucks Cowboys after the Bucks won the Super Bowl with Brady and it was like an amazing game. And that was

the last time I think I remembered week one being fun. It just feels like every team sucks and what? There was three good teams today. It was like the dolphins look great. Chargers look good. And the Niners and I guess now the Cowboys. But other than that, it was a bleak day out there. It was like syllabus week for the NFL.

People are just getting to class showing up. late. They don't have their books yet. They'll start next week. Yeah, and the Giants kind of showed up and they're like, wait, there was a summer assignment? We had readings? What? Yeah, so I don't know.

Who didn't look like shit today? Should we start there? Should we switch it to some positive stuff? I think we need to. We need to get the energy up. We need to talk about these dolphins. Yeah, the dolphins definitely look the least like shit today. All right, so the least like shit. They were awesome. What do you

They look great. It's through my shit-colored glasses. Do it through for almost 500 yards, dude. Yeah, it's the least like shit. That's just the vibe I'm in right now. No, but so I think, I mean, obviously the Giants were awful, but even among good teams, the Chiefs looked pretty mortal on Thursday night.

The Bengals looked horrific. The Eagles looked pretty bad. The Dolphins looked like the best offense in the entire AFC and maybe the best offense in the league along with the 49ers. I mean, it was probably the best game of Tua's career. or at least up there, maybe with that Ravens game last year. And then, so Tua,

fourth most passing yards in a season opener, NFL history, 45 attempts, 28 completions, 466 yards, three touchdowns, no sacks for Tua. No sacks. Shout out Jiu-Jitsu, didn't even need the Jiu-Jitsu. And then, so fourth-most yards ever in an opener.

And then Tyree Kill, I think this was his bet, I'm the best receiver in the NFL game, like just kind of the statement of 11 catches for 215 yards and two touchdowns. He's on pace for 3,600 yards, which is super casual, like almost double the NFL record.

That's normal. Tyree Kill had more yards through three quarters than all the chief receivers combined did it in four quarters, so there's the night football. I want to say this because it's important context for a certain team we're going to talk about later. But I'm going to say this. Having good receivers is a really good thing for your offense.

it's it's incredible that well we've talked about this a lot the gravity that's taking a shot at the giants well no I'm taking a shot at a team that shall be discussed later on a different NFC team I think we need to send that guy that coach that the man who will not be named we need to send him the movie kicking and screaming

like look Mike McDaniel gets it yeah throw it to the Italians pass to the Italians so yeah I mean we've talked about it all the time but Tyreek the gravity that he creates I mean it's just incredible and then you know it didn't even feel like so we were texting during the game

it didn't even really feel like Tua was playing that well there's a couple of plays where he like lobbed a ball up like off his back foot and like completely short-armed it and then at the end of the day you just look he's racking up yards racking up yards is such an awesome offense and the big thing with him and

the big reason why he had zero sex today is like man he's just so decisive he gets rid of the ball so quickly and it just really it makes up for the fact that maybe he doesn't have like the strongest deep arm but he's just so decisive and he processes so quickly. This offense is incredibly, incredibly fun to watch. And, you know, Waddle didn't even have that big of a game, but he looked awesome.

And, you know, Tua, or sorry, Tyreek is just, I mean, he's just going nuclear right now. I got the stat from Nate Tice. The Dolphins had 16 explosive plays in offense like 20 years or more. Yeah. Which is tied for the most in the game in nine years. What's cool about them is like in the same way that the Niners, it just always seems that someone's open. Like the Niners game today against the Steelers. It was just like, Brandon Ayyuk was always just like sitting in the middle of the field and there was nobody within like eight yards of them.

And the Dolphins have the same thing. And Mike McDaniels kind of draws up an offense that creates so much open space, except they have the two fastest players in that damn league. So it's like the entire Dolvin's offense to me. Every time I look up, it's Tyree Kill catching like a 12 yard in route and then he's just gone 50 yards diagonally up the field. And then Jalen Waddle does it the other way in the next play. And it's just over and over and over rinse and repeat. And you can't solve it. Especially when they bring Tyree Kill in motion from one side to the other just to have him kind of run up and then run it back to the other side originally.

And it kind of creates like a giant backwards letter C, like, but it's 40 yards long. And I'm like, how is anyone supposed to follow him? So also another insane stat from, this is from Chase Stewart, football perspective. Tyree Kill now has nine games in his career with 175 receiving yards or more. Wow. Which is tied for second all time with Jerry Rice. It took him not having the homes. for me to realize, oh, he is the best receiver in the NFL, which I know doesn't really make

sense. But for some reason, him on the Dolphins is more impressive than him on the chiefs. Yeah, I mean, last year, I remember he was, I don't remember exactly where he went in draft, but he fell far. Like, people were talking about how it's just not going to be the same. It's, you know, he's, this is a terrible decision on his part. But now it's almost just like, man, they're even more concentrated on him. He doesn't have to deal with Kelsey anymore. He's the, he's the guy now. And so if you, if you redrafted, let's say you, for some reason, you and your buddies couldn't draft until tomorrow. Is Tyree Kill the first pick in the draft?

He is, right? Him or Christian McCaffrey. I think, yeah, him, Justin Jefferson and Christian McAfrey, the top three. Jefferson was also incredible today. It's just Tyree Kill. It's the same thing. It's like you're worried about two his health. But again, Tyree Kill said he wanted 2,000 yards.

I think he's actually going to get the 2,000 yards. I'm serious. To two his credit, though, Tyree Kill only had 50 yards after the catch. Like, two actually had, I think two had one of the best throwings. of his, throws of his entire career on that third and ten that basically saved the game. Yeah. But that was really nice. The whole thing was absolutely insane.

I mean, he looked really good. Don't get me wrong. He was very good in this game. It was shout up producer Carlos is doing Sunday nights for us this year. Just massive two of him. Just a founding member of two and on over there. But Craig, you know what? While we're talking about teams that were good and my team getting the shit kicked out of them,

your team got the shit kicked out of them by the 49ers. Yeah, my team was the most embarrassing team of the day until your team suited up, which was nice. But, yeah, the Steelers had so much. sleeper team. Niners are going to come into Heinzfield. I'm not saying Acreger. And like, it was going to be like

a mucked up, you know, 17 to 10, gritty, Steelers pulled out. Not even close. Pickett looked like shit, man. He looks so frazzled. It's almost like us being excited about Pickett and Daniel Jones in the preseason looks really stupid in retrospect. Almost.

He looked like shit. He was inaccurate as hell. Like, Pickens is already pissed. They couldn't run the ball. he got Friamuth hurt essentially. He was so inaccurate. He, like, hurt Pat Friermouth. And because Pat Friarmouth had to bend in such an unnatural way to try to catch this errant pass

and he, like, hurt his leg and then, like, hurt his ribs when he caught the touchdown. And Deontay Johnson got hurt. Horrible vibes. Cam Hayward got hurt. T.J. Watt is the only bright spot. And the Niners just look like a fucking juggernaut. And people are open 24-7.

McCaffrey's like seven yards of carry. guaranteed. Purdy looks awesome. My Niners fans friends are texting me Big Cock Brock every two minutes and I want to jump off a bridge. Good job, Craig. I got to tell you, there's so many things. One, Brock Party,

first quarterback NFL history when each of his first six regular season starts and throw two touchdown passes in each start. Are we pretty pilled? Yeah, yeah. Are we purty pill? I actually, I got purdy pilled in this one. Dude, that touchdown pass, he had a bread and Iyuk. That was, that was freaking legit.

the one, the back shoulder in the end zone. I was, dude, Brock Purdy, God, dude. I, uh, I, uh, good. He's also the first quarterback in NFL history with a passer rating of 95 or higher

in each of his first six starts. So I will say this. I think the Niners overall are like a legendary team. Like, honestly, you start to kind of go through the players and the Niners. And you never just like scroll through like the 2001 Miami Hurricanes roster. And just like,

oh my God, they had this guy and they were on that team. Yeah, what? He was a backup. Yeah. We're going to look through like this Niners team in 10 years. Like Trent Williams was the left tackle. And you're just like looking through all these like freaking, you're like, oh,

the best linebacker and the best defensive end and the best running back and all this shit. And like when they're, they've been so hurt you almost forget what they're like when they're all healthy. And the only thing I will say about the Giants and the Steelers is that these are probably just the two best defenses in the NFL that just absolutely buzz saw. these two squads. But the Niners honestly just feel to me like Destin for the Super Bowl and it's literally just a question of health. And then the Steelers,

I mean, the first five drives, I think Kenny Pickett had nine yards. Yeah, it was like five for eight, nine yards and a pick or something. Kenny Pickett's better in the two-minute drill. I'll say this.

Kenny Pickett reminded me of Yule Manning today because it's like the light bulb goes on with the two-minute drill and you're just kind of like poking and I'm like, do something. He's good in rhythm. And he kind of gets momentum. He can kind of like string a couple nice plays together, string a drive together.

But when it's like a stalled drive, yeah, man, it can be dark. But again, look, Pickett was better last year when he wasn't playing against top five defenses every week. And this was a top five defense. So maybe, even though they're playing the Browns next week who are also a good defense. So I don't know. The hopes aren't high. Nine and eight.

I'll take it right now if we go nine and eight. I want to talk about Ayuk, Brandon Ayuk, Ayuk, who, if you guys remember, a couple of weeks ago at some point in the preseason, I was just talking, there was, I don't even know, camp report after camp report, day after day after day, that Brandon Ayuk was the best player

on the field by far. And this is one of those scenarios, it feels like, where the camp hype is actually true. And it actually was maybe even a little understated, because he looked insanely good out there. Brandon Ayuk did. And I don't know, man, he had, let's see, what did he finish with? He finished with eight catches for

129 yards and two touchdowns on 8, targets. So he's like basically perfect, including one really impressive touchdown, um, catch in the, like the corner of the end zone where it didn't look like he had any chance of catching it and he came down with it. Um, this is the type of player. I feel like that would be an absolute superstar on another team where he's not having to fight for like scraps with so many other good players, Debo Samuel, George Kittle, Christian McCaffrey, in a run heavy offense. You know what I mean? So I don't know, man. Brandon of you to me was just like one of the best players in the NFL today.

I joked on Bill's pod that the only way that Brandon Ayyuk could really have a big takeoff season is if he put a, like, threw a banana peel in front of George Kittle or Dio Samuel and somebody got hurt. Turns out that might not be the case. And he actually could be the number one option in the passing game. Yeah, Iyuk, so he was the second highest scoring receiver after Tyree Kiel on the entire day. And then Christian McCaffrey was the number one running back. Christian McCaffrey, 112 yards after contact, which is his career high. He's so good, man. 152 rushing yards for McCaffrey, most of any game he had as a 49er.

And then Debo was kind of back to doing running back stuff. Like, Debo really got a lot more handoffs. I feel like now that he's in better shape and they kept talking about how Kyle Shanahan kind of, you know, body shame Debo to be in better shape post-contract situation. And so they just absolute juggernaut status. So yeah, 30 to 7, the Niners beat the Steelers. It felt like more than that.

It's not quite four. The Giants that we did this game freaking end yet? It's just ended. It's 40 to nothing. Thank God. They didn't score? They didn't score it. Dallas's defense ended up with 37 fantasy points.

They had seven sacks, two picks, a fumble recovery, two touchdowns, a blocked kick, and they allowed zero points. Second highest score in all a fantasy football. Cool. Tough start. The dayball legend took a little bit of a hit today. We don't have to go. We don't have to talk.

Let's not talk about the Giants anymore. I'm tired of talking about my flare. Fine by me. I'll just try to take a pachio with the Cowboys just because I can. I would like to give out the Tony Romo award for getting paid a massive contract and then immediately mailing it in.

Just like Tony Romo, if you don't know, got $20 million here as an announcer and then immediately started playing golf during the weekdays. It's just showing up to the games on Sunday to get to talk. And you know what?

Yeah, sure. Good for you, Tony. So I feel like there were like a half dozen quarterbacks who got like a huge contract this year with this off season. Five of those six just absolutely sucks. today. Just absolutely awful. Daniel Jones, we talked about enough. It was raining this absolute disaster.

Dan Jones had a terrible day. Dude, Joe Burrow. Also, rain, I think it's a third rain, a third being week one. And then Joe Burrow, a third coming back from his calf injury. I don't know. But all I know is on Saturday, he signed the dotted line for $275 million. And then on Sunday, it was basically the worst game of his entire life going back to middle school. This is not a game I'm actually worried about with Joe Burrow. It's not like something that I think is going to last very long into the season. It was just shocking.

It was truly shocking how bad he was. He finished with 82 passing yards on 32 attempts. 82 on 32 attempts. The last time an NFL quarterback had less than 100 passing yards and 30 attempts was Sam Darnold in this seeing ghost game. This is like an all-time bad performance. And look, there are reasons, there are excuses. reasons why he did not play well.

But man. Three points? Browns, 24 to 3, the Browns won. Three points, fewest yards in Joe Burroughs career by a lot. I mean, he had three fantasy points too. Like, I mean, Josh Dobbs, the Cardinals, had like two and a half.

So, I mean, T. Higgins, zero catches. Jabar Chase. He had like four points. T. Higgins' first receiver to have eight targets in a game, but not have a catch in eight years. T. Higgins was fourth in the end

among receivers today. I'm telling you, dude. Fantasy should just start at week two. Just start fantasy at week two. Just, oh, like we cut off the first. That's actually a great idea. We treat week one like preseason. And then you draft after week one.

That's actually a sick idea where it's like we always cut off the last week of the season. We should cut off the first week. Let him like in a moose bush. Everybody gets to watch all the players for a week. This is so nice that none of this counts, you guys. It's like the best idea Craig's ever had. I will say the Bengals, it's not that I'm making fun of the Bengals and at Burrow, but it's more a Bill's fan said to me,

what if Josh Allen did this? What would y'all be saying about Josh Allen if he had 80 yards and 30 completions? Or 30 attempts, I'd be like, yeah, that's super fair. We'd be making so much fun. But yeah, Burrow was absolutely horrific. Lamar was terrible too. Like, all the quarterbacks of sign,

Lamar was awful. His numbers weren't like egregious. He just merely had like seven fantasy points. He had like three turner. We had a pick, hit two fumbles. He had under 170 passing yards. But it was just like a carelessness. It was weird.

Lamar tweeted after the game that he actually was rusty as shit or whatever. He tweeted an emoji. It was like the most careless I've seen like honestly, he was running with the ball. It almost like he was thought the play was over. It was so weird the way that he fumbled. Like he just, it was so. My girlfriend kept asking me if she, if I thought he was hurt. Yeah, flex.

And I kind of agree. Like he didn't look fast. They barely ran in. designs runs and I, the whole thing looked off. If we're doing the panic meter for like all these quarterbacks, you got giant contracts and now looks like shit today, Burrow one out of ten. I think I'm starting to get a little bit worried about Lamar Jackson and just like, like his long term viability.

I think I might be at a five out of ten for Lamar. Dude, I think I'm a six and a half since we've seen it. Yeah, it's been a while since we've really seen Lamar like take over. I no longer am afraid of him. Like the MVP thing, he was. won the unanimous MVP. That was pre-pandemic. I don't want to hear shit about pre-pandemic. Like that, you know what I mean?

As far as I'm concerned, that was a different world. This is, we're living in a different space. Yeah, I don't know. I'm not, I'm not there yet. A couple variables definitely matter here. This is the first game with a new offensive coordinator, new offense. Like, we can't just, we can't just hand wave that away. I know, but they play the Texans.

The point is they beat, so the Ravens won the game. The Titans might have a good defense. I mean, the Ravens won the game. The Ravens won the game is not like terrible. It was 25. to nine. But honestly, like, the offense didn't do anything. It was seven to six at half time.

And frankly, like, the defense kind of held up the Ravens the whole time. Mark Andrews was out. J.K. Dobbins, Torr's fucking Achilles, like, just terrible. There's variables here that you can't just hand wave and say, oh, it doesn't matter. I would say I'm, like, more worried about him.

I'm more worried about Lamar than I am about Burrow. But Zay Flowers is the rookie receiver. He had, like, 40% of their targets. Jay Flowers had, like, what was their average depth of target for Lamar today? Like, four yards down the field? Like, it was a strange offense. It just the whole thing was odd. I don't know.

It wasn't very professional, honestly. It was very strange. And then Jalen Hertz, fewest yards at EPA per play than any game the Eagles had all of last season. Fewest fantasy points Jailen Hertz has had in a game that mattered. I'm not kind of once that the Eagles had already clinched on me. Fewest fantasy points in a game that mattered for the Eagles. Jailen Hertz has had in almost two years. I agree with Craig.

Panic meter, Burrow, I'm going to put like a one out of ten. Jalen Hertz, I'm going to put like a two and a half, three out of ten. Lamar, I'm going to put at like a six. And then Daniel Jones, I'm going to put it up four and a half. Daniel Jones,

it's not Daniel Jones's fault. It's that obviously thing's wrong, but you can't lose 40-0. That was a systemic failure. That was like every, it was Chernobyl. It was like 11 things went wrong. I don't understand.

You could be so, worried about Lamar and you're not worried about Daniel Jones? Daniel Jones threw like, how many touchdowns did he throw last year? Well, that's not the problem. No, that's not it. Daniel Jones is running for his freaking life and you're not worried about him. Daniel Jones was running

for his life. The whole fucking night. Lamar Jackson rushed for over a thousand yards like every year. Like, I don't, this is ridiculous. Come on. I'm worried about all these guys, to be honest. They all look terrible and I'm worried about all of them. You know what's Geno Smith do after you paid him, DK. Gino Smith, you're the fewest yards in the second

half that Seattle Seelks have had since 1991. And the only reason it's since 1991 is because that's when they started keeping track of the goddamn stat. It's probably ever, right? Three yards in the second half? I don't know. It was not a lot. 12 yards in the second half, right?

12 yards, which is funny because you have, you have the 12s like the fans, so you have the flag that says 12 in the stadium. Nice of them. That was considered it. There's a lot, Highfitz. You're leaving me in the trenches here, John. Taking grenades! Hyphins, you have, you have like a weird, eerie power. to jinx the fuck out of people

because on the Friday show, you were just talking about how the Rams are an unsurious team. They have all these rookies. They suck. They're tanking. They just blah, blah, blah, like all this crap.

And then I'm like, whoa, hold on. They like have dominated the Seahawks ever since Sean McVeigh came to town. And it's just, the Seahawks absolutely fell apart in the second half. They had,

I think Austin Gale tweeted this out. They had like a 5% pressure rate. They could not get any pressure. Matt Stafford picked him apart. That was a great number, Austin said us. Five percent pressure rate was the lowest in like nine years. I can't remember the exact date range, but it's been a while since they had that low. There were a lot of stats today that were like having been done in five or ten years.

Super concerning. A lot of historical numbers getting pulled up. It was like the Seahawks offense definitely fell apart in the second half, but like the Rams doubled the Seahawks time of possession. They absolutely just dominated. That's so bad. 40 to 20. You don't see that a lot.

40 is a hard number to reach with. They had one first down in the second half. Also, like, the people beating the Seahawks today, I mean, here are the top performers. Kairn Williams, Tutu Atwell, and Puka Nakua. Those were the three players that dominated the Seahawks. Dude, the Seahawks defense is not good. Hold on. Hold on.

Dude, that's one of those that if you have a friend who hasn't played fantasy in a year, you come back, like, they can't even tell you what sport those people play. The Seahawks, the Seahawks tweet or like text threads I'm in, people are. people are epileptic. It's not good. This was the worst Seahawks performance in, I don't even know. Why were you so bad?

Seven, nine, ten years? I want to check if the Giants got a first out in the second half. They did. They got two. Nice. It was bad. What happens, okay?

They marched right down to start the game. They had a beautiful touchdown to D.K. Metcalfe. And then it all fell off. Well, a number of different things. First of all, Aaron Donald is really freaking good.

And he was, like, creating havoc. The Seahawks, I believe, lost. both of their starting tackles in the game to injuries, which was a cascading effect in terms of like their effectiveness on the ground and through the air. Like they just were really, really bad. There were some drops out there. I don't know.

It was really bad. It was really, really bad. Like this was one, again, one of the worst, worst Seahawks games I've seen in freaking in the last decade. So wait, hold on, hold on. Wait, can we just take them all three of our, all, we're saying all three of her teams had the worst game we've seen in a decade. We're all just like giving that away. Ball's back? Today was the fucking worst.

Today was the worst non-Duck Hodges Steelers game I've seen in 10 years. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. I mean, at least, and then I'm like, oh, whatever. Look at the Yankees. We're in freaking last place in the gods. Like, there's nothing to turn to. Holy shit.

Oh, shit, dude. So the Seahawks are now, I think they've won four out of the last 12 games against the Rams going back to when Sean McFey took over. So anyways, thanks again, Hyphitz for that. Okay, fine. The Cowl, we haven't beat Dak Prescott since 2016. Dude, the Giants are, I think the Giants are now, they're two and 15 against Dallas in the last 17 games.

Hyfitts is bad luck. Hyfitts is like the opposite of Midas. It's like the Hyfitts touch. Fucking cooler. The cooler, the clums. The cooler, the mush if you've ever seen the movie of Bronx Tale. I'm going to use that on you guys. I'm going to be like, you know, Danny Kelly's gone 370 episodes in a row

with that explosive diarrhea on air. God, dude. Real quick, though, before we move on, we do need to talk about Pooka Nakua. That was, like, an incredible game. He set the all-time record for targets for a rookie's first game, I think. 15. He led the league.

15 is notable when Cooper Cup gets 15 targets. That's, like, notable. Cooper Cup system receiver? Anybody, you just slot anybody in there and they become Cooper Cup. Is Puka Nukuoka, Cooper Cup now? Here's the thing. Wasn't the comp for Puka Nakuua,

Manor-St. Brown? and Amonra St. Brown's comp was like baby Cooper Cup. Yeah, they're all in the same family of receivers. Like, guys that aren't super fast, but they're just really savvy route runners and like tough and good after the catch and all this stuff. And Puka, I mean, credit to Puka, I don't think this was a fluke. He looked really good. Like, he was just making plays everywhere. CX couldn't guard him.

Hall of fame name to Pooka Naku. I mean, and he was like really underrated in college too. He's undrafted, wasn't he? No, he was like a fifth rounder, I think. We were talking about this a month ago with Jihon Dotson. where it's like, how are there some guys where you just like, yeah, you see one game. You're like, yep, he's an NFL player. You don't see it a lot with a fifth rounder.

You watch his fifth round receiver. You're like, yep, NFL player. How did he last to the fifth round? No one knows anything, dude. Nobody knows anything. I mean, because he ran slow. He was a 457 guy, which is like whatever. But if you look at his like efficiency stats in college, he had like one of the best

yards per route run numbers in the whole country. Was it any of the highest graded receiver from pro football football football coach? Yeah, PFF had him as the number one graded guy. Like, he made plays. How does that guy go to fifth? I love that we all accept. We all know now. We're all smart enough to know that, like, the 40 is kind of an irrelevant metric nowadays

because it actually doesn't really project to how good you're going to be in the NFL. And yet, D.K., the first thing he said was, oh, why didn't he get drafted higher? He was so good in college. He's like, well, he ran slow. Like, that is still when everybody's like, well, he was slow. So we're not going to draft him. He was fucking incredible in every other way. He was just pretty slow.

So we're out. You know what it's like? It's like the hot scale where it's like we just assign competence. to hot people. I think we just assign competence to fast people of the NFL. If they're fast, we just assume they can do the job.

Puka Nukua is the equivalent of like when you're like going on a blind date with somebody and your friend's like, oh, she's really nice. And you're like, okay, well, you got to give me something else. No, no, she's really nice.

Like, okay, well, then that means she sucks or she's not good looking. That's Pooka Nuku. It's like, well, he's hardworking. It's like, oh, great, he's slow. Isn't he? He's slow. That's what you're telling me.

But you know what those people? boy the people you marry. Pooka Nakua is husband material. I mean, just an incredible game from him. And I think like it, like, again, I do feel like it was legit. It didn't feel like fluky. You know what I mean? Like he had an incredible connection with Matt Stafford. Maybe they were going to breakfast together. Stafford was freaking slinging it. Vintage. Stafford looked playoff. I think it's the first time since the playoff run where they won the Super Bowl that Stafford looked that good. The Rams were pissed, man. I think, I think Sean McVeigh maybe listened to our podcast because he's buddies with Craig.

And he was like talking to Highfits in the press conference. He was just like, I don't even, I tweeted it at you. Hyfitz. He was like, a lot of people don't know what the fuck they're talking about out there, you know? I love this. Yeah, he was like, whatever the fucking narrative was out there. These people don't know shit.

Like, we're going to fucking show him. Like him and staff are like arms around each other, like having beers in the locker room cussing people out. I actually cannot think of anything funnier than our freaking podcast being played as the Bulletin Board material for the whole lot. Los Angeles Rams. High Fitz, you're the main character

of week of week one, like legitimately. Fucking Cadarius Tony. Travis Kelsey out. First you get Travis Kelsey hurt. Then Cadarice Tony. I'm telling his game. The High Fitz touch.

Stay away, folks. Anything. Anything he touches. Get out. This is incredible. Sell, sell, sell. Danny Kelly, 370 episodes in a row.

Oh my God. Who you do next week? Who do you like? Dude. I just want the Giants to be favorite over the goddamn Cardinals, man. That's all I want. Cardinals, almost what?

How about them Falcons? How about them Falcons, baby? Okay, getting back to the awards. This is the congratulations you've replaced Joffrey Barathean is my least favorite character ever award. And it's going out to Arthur Smith. I hate this guy. I hate everything about him. Head coach for the Atlanta Falcons. Can't

fucking stand him. Get this out of the way. They won the game. I don't fucking care. 24 to 10. What a loser. Beed a division rival by It was closer than that until late. What an idiot. But yeah, he's, this is, this is going back to what I said early in the, in the, in the podcast where when you have really good players, it helps to give those guys the football.

And unless you're on the Falcons, in which case it doesn't for some reason. They just have decided to completely fucking ignore the two top 10 picks that they bought, that they drafted for the passing game in order to approve the passing game. they drafted I can't even remember his name because he doesn't get Kyle. Drake London.

He didn't get a catch today. Couldn't even remember his name because he got absolutely Super forgetable. He ran like 60 routes and had zero targets and zero catches. Absolutely useless.

Yeah, he was doing, did you guys see some of the blocking he was doing out there? Like, oh my God, it was amazing. This is pure sarcasm. You don't draft a fucking guy in the top 10s

so he can block on the outside. Did you see the quote, DK? somebody told Arthur Smith, they were like, oh, Drake London had one fewer reception in Desmond Ritter in today's win. And Arthur Smith said, let the fantasy guys worry about that.

We've got to clean some things up. We don't care. Drake London doesn't care. All we care about is one and no. First off, fucking guarantee you, Drake London does care. Can we talk to Drake about that? Yeah, I'm not so sure. First of all, that's fucking bullshit.

Second of all, you went seven and ten last year, my guy. You drafted this guy in the top ten, my guy. You went seven and ten the year before that. My guy. You're fucking bragging about wins doesn't work on me. I still think you suck. I hate this guy. Forget pass it to Kyle Pitts and Drake London before I blow my fucking gasket.

I think it's blown. I will say, I also have not even mentioning that Tyler Al Jir got more carries than Bison Robinson, the running back. They took in the top 10. Tyler Al Jir, Tyler Al Jir got more carries. He had more yards. And he got all the goal line work. So he ended up with the two touchdowns. So we ended up in a world where the top running backs,

you know, we have money to football still to go, but the top running backs on the day were Aaron Jones, Austin Echler, Christian McCaffrey, and Tyler Algier, right above Tony Pollard, top five running back. The Alger thing doesn't bother me as much because they were using Bejohn in like a lot of fun ways.

Like he had a bunch of targets. He was really useful in passing game. It doesn't bother you that a running back was drafted top 10 in the NFL and then another running back they already had got 15 carries. Let me be clear. It does bother me. me. It doesn't bother me as much as the other two things, bother me. Like, everyone, everyone's instant response to me will be, have you seen their quarterback?

Like, they should be running the ball, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, no, if you have two top ten picks, those guys can help that quarterback. Take a quarterback. Take a quarterback with what the picks. This is what Tyree Kill and Jalen Waddle are doing for Tua. Like, it's helpful to have these elite guys. You just got to give them the fucking football in order for them to help. One and O. One in a no. On to the next game.

God. I am actively rooting for him to fail. Sorry. Here's my question. How well would the Falcons have to do for you to admit that Arthur Smith was right and you were wrong? Like how long could they continue? Drake London has like literally less averaging less than two catches per game. And the Falcons are like 11 and O but like Steelers style from like four years ago.

remember when the Steelers started at 11 and oh? And we were like, they, like, how good could the Falcons be? And you just were like, nope. Well, first of all, I'm pretty stubborn. So it would take a lot. But if I was being completely rational, yeah, I mean, if they, like, went to the playoffs this year,

I would back off. Really? Well, if they went to the playoffs with, like, a legit record. Like, obviously, this division is kind of. What if they win the division with nine wins? This division's not that good. So they might. go the playoffs. If they win

double-digit games, I'll drop it, okay? I'll back off of this. How about that? Sure. We didn't even get to Kyle. I mean, I'm still going to harbor deep deep-seated hatred towards him, but I'll stop talking about it. By the way, this just pisses me off that he's constantly like bitching about

the fantasy people. It's like, my guy, you drafted these guys in the top 10. I like it. Any pub is good pub. This is good for us. I hope he keeps talking about us. Should we get Arthur Smith on the podcast and just tell him he could just rail at us. Yeah.

Tell us we're losers. Kyle Pitts, I mean, was somehow the leading receiver on the Falcons. He had 44 yards. Congratulations. He had 5.4 fantasy points. Well, Desmond Ritter had a catch. Kyle Pitts only had two and Drake, the quarterback had a catch.

Drake London didn't even have catch. And Kyle Pitts had like two. Should we do? Let's do, I'm going to do three players and a lie. Three players in a lie who outscored Drake London and Kyle Pitts combined. God damn it You know what I'm gonna do like five players in a lie

Fuck it okay Here we go Number one Demario Douglas You know The people at home He's on the Patriots Number two

Braxton Barrios On Miami Number three Mike Kisicki Also on the Patriots Four Adam Troutman Denver Durham Smyth Miami

And Kylan Granson Indiana Indianapolis Sorry only one of those people did not outscore Kyle Pitts and Drake London combined. Gisicki? Yeah.

Correct. Wow. Good for you. It was Gassicki. He was just under them. I hate that guy. Well, you know how I know, this was a real true. This was a tight end apocalypse of a week.

I get it's, I'm trying not to be hyperbolic. It's week one. It's hard not to be, though. It is coming up on being. It's the best part of week one, honestly. I know. We're encroaching. on the worst tight end season

in the history of the NFL I love it. I'm jumping to every conclusion I can think of. I'm fucking miserable right now, you guys. This is the worst. The tight ends. Let's just take a little recap. Travis Kelsey who may be my

behest you drafted in the first round. Misses his first game to entry in 10 years. Mark Andrews. Third rounder. Out. You probably replaced Mark Andrews with Isaiah likely who's backup. who had like 300 yards in a few starts this year.

Isaiah likely had like four yards. T.J. Hawkinson had eight catches, albeit T.J. Hawkinson had 35 yards today. George Kittle had, I'm going in the order in which players were drafted on average. George Kittle had 19, right? Darren Waller ended with what the hell, yeah, 19 yards.

What the hell did Darren Waller end with? Hold on. Darren Waller. He wasn't like terrible. 36 yards. Darren. And his shutout. And then just keep going at David and Joku, 24.

Pat Friermuth, three yards. And he just salvaged it with a touchdown. David and Joku 24. Evan Ingram, 49 was a god. There were two tight ends that surpassed double-digit points in half PPR. Two, Hunter Henry and Hayden Hurst, the freaking weirdos whose name start with H. Otherwise, Dallas, like, put this way, Dallas Goddard for the Eagles. Zero.

Dalton Schultz for the Texans. Pat Fryermuth for the Steelers. Shigal Conquo for the Titans, Isaiah likely, combined. Those five tight ends combined at four catches for 11 yards. I mean, the top five scoring tight ends this week, Hunter Henry Haydenhurst, Donald Parham, Blake Bell, and Harris and Bryant.

Blake Bell had one catch for like a touchdown on Thursday night football. He cracked the top five at the position. Like here's the larger point. This is insane, but here's like the larger problem we have. I don't have it. I just lost the page, but basically the tight end rankings right now look vaguely like this. The top 10 players are between like

12 and 7 points and then the next 20 players are between 7 and 4 points. They're all indistinguishable. This is a disaster. Welcome back. It's tough out there for people who spent

like $40 on Travis Kelsey or $30 on Mark Ganges. You know what also sucks about just in general DK being like I'm miserable. This is terrible. Like, I feel like on Sundays, I become like, I become like Jason Siegel in forgetting Sarah Marshall when it cuts back to him and when she was like, you spent an entire week in sweatpants without changing. Like that's what I also am like on Sunday physically. I'm just like on the couch.

I feel like I'm not clean shave and I feel like sweaty and itchy. I like need to shower. So when you have a bad day in fantasy football or the football is bad, you feel like twice as worse because you like start to think about what you're even doing. You're like, I haven't gotten off the couch at nine hours. What am I even watching this for? You're like all grumpy to like your relatives and your loved one. I like smell bad. It's terrible.

It's it's we need a word. We need an old German word for like how stupid you feel when you were losing in fantasy football. I'm just like stewing in my filth watching Sequin Barclay put up five points. And I'm like eagerly awaiting the Giants to get another possession hoping he can run for like eight more yards. And I'm just like, what am I doing with my life? Craig, what did you eat for dinner? Did you eat cereal out of a giant bowl? It's a frisbee, isn't it?

What is he you know? Is it a frisbee or is it a giant bowl? It's a giant bowl. You shall not pass. Go see the psychiatrist. I hate the psychiatry. I feel better now. This is cathartic.

It's fun to like, I mean, I'm sure some people had good days out there, right? Not many. I mean, my fantasy league, 11 of the 12 teams, their projections were in the red after today. Which is pretty, I mean, everyone's like averaging like 90. points, 100 points. Like basically, if you had Tyree Kill, you won. Other than that, you're kind of screwed. Well, all the quarterbacks were bad, too.

How many quarterbacks even finish with, like, a positive VPA per play? I think it was like three. Like Purdy and Stafford and Dak and Tua. And I think that's it. There's been research on this, I'm sure. But, like, it has to do something with the preseason, right? And people sitting. A hundred percent.

Yeah. Well, it's just like, they legislated out over the last two CBAs that, like, you can't practice as much anymore. And so it's just math. It's just like, they're used to have twice as much practice time. And they're like, all right, well, that's what the first week or two were for. Do you guys get a lot of text from friends on Sunday? And do you ever get the classic just, I fucking hate fantasy?

I got like several of those. Yeah. That is like the most common phrase, like word for word, is I fucking hate fantasy. And it's like the guy who has Sky Moore and like Travis Kelsey's out. And he's like, well, this makes sense. I'll just start Skymore. You know, one catch. or like, oh, Cam Acres, like, at least

at least Cam Acres will be the guy they use around the goal line. No, it's fucking Kyrin Williams. Kenneth Gainwell is just the guy for the Eagles, despite them trading for DeAndre Swift and signing Rashad Penny. There are so many parts of fantasy football that just like don't make any sense. Justin Fields having two designed rushes.

It's miserable. That one drives me insane, Craig. So this is, I need to air of grievance with this one in particular because last year, I think I went on a massive rant about how it took the bear so long. figure out that they have this incredible, like, force-multifying weapon in Justin Fields when he turns into a runner. And, like, in the last nine games of the season last year,

they had, he averaged eight design runs per game. And it was like, this was the only way that they could make any offense. This was the only way that they could get anything going. You imagine if last year, Siriani and Stiken had decided just, oh, we need to develop Jalen Hertz, and therefore we should just have him stop running. We need to make him a good pass, or he's got to learn sometime. And they just stopped running him. and he didn't score 12 touchdowns? It is kind of like going to Evichian being like, you need to learn an instrument.

By the way, Jalen Hertz, NFL best seven design rushes today. Justin Fields, two, in a game that they were trailing the entire time. What is wrong with these coaches? I don't understand it. It's just the only thing he does well right now. He's not a good passer. I'm starting to really actually lose a lot of faith that he's ever going to be a good faster. He's just too slow.

He's too inaccurate. Yeah, yeah. He doesn't have the good, he doesn't have very much. I don't know, man. So, like, the fact that they only had two design rushes in this entire game when they lost this badly is I'm, like, more mad at them than I am at Arthur Smith at this. It's like, what did you do all offseason? Why would this not be part of the game plan? I never know what she's doing.

What are they doing back there? Why would you not have anything that he does with his legs be part of the game plan? D.G. Moore had two catches for 25 yards. To your point, they were losing the entire game. I just don't understand. I just don't understand. it. I think you're at Justin Field sucks. Literally, the running is the only thing he does

well right now. Why would you only have two design rushes? I just can't understand it. To your point, before we get away from this on the I fucking hate fantasy football thing, the fact that we just, I know we just said this, but the fact that we just discussed an Eagles running back rotation the entire year

and kind of settle on, yeah, you know, they'll probably spread the ball around to a bunch of guys rotate them all in and then, you know, like, what if we get hurt? Actually, probably the shortest running back rotation an entire NFL. It was just Kenneth Gainwell was the running back. It was the guy we already had. Cool.

Like, literally they had two carries other than Hertz and Gainwell. Like, I don't know if there was another team in the league that had that, like, narrow of a thing. Kenneth Gainwell got 14 and Hertz got nine. No one else had multiple. Just Kenny Gainwell. Also, Alan Robinson led the Steelers and targets. Alan Robinson. Loki looked good. Kind of looked good.

Had some juice. Deontes hurt, too, by the way. So, might be a bigger part of the game plan going forward. Also, Man, what a week for hamstrings. What a week for hamstrings? What a day for hamstrings. Like, the Aaron Jones had like a 50-yard touchdown catch, literally pulled up as he crossed the end zone line, grabbing his hamstring. I don't know what's been going on over the summer, but people need to, you know, go after, go talk to Will Fuller.

I had to lubricate those hammies. We've said hamstrings so much in last two weeks that it's kind of just such a silly word for such an important thing. We kind of need like a more mature adult. Hamstring is so juvenile. Hamstring. Is the hamstring the medical term for the muscle? No. I highly doubt it.

Why does it call the hamstring? I don't know, but it's funny when you think about it. It's not the scientific term for your muscle? It's like Imagine Dragons. You're like, why? Is that such a funny name? Who picked that? It's actually a group of three muscles, which there you go.

Hi, Fitz, as long as we're talking about bad band names, Gugu Dulls, just want to throw that one out there. Oh, you're just jumping in with that right now? just why you're looking up the stat. Yeah, yeah. Go-Go dolls? Is it a Go-Go? No, Go-Go dolls.

You're going to defend Go-Goo-Dalls as a band name? I think I confuse Goo-Goo and Go-Go. Well, there is a band called The Go-Go's. Yeah, I confused. I thought the G-Go's. I was pronouncing the go-goes as the go-goes, and I just, it's late. And I don't know, man. Like the Giants, I've not put up any points today.

As an extension of the I fucking hate fantasy football, there's just some guys today that just kind of popped off that nobody started. They're definitely on waivers. We'll get to them tomorrow. But just kind of like random. It's like if you were out all day and you came home and checked box scores

and you just scroll and you like squint your eyes and you're like, Rashid Shaheed had 100 yards and a touchdown for the Saints. Like I fucking hate fantasy football. Pooka Nakua led the week in targets with 15, 2-2-Atwell, 119 yards. Kendrick Bourne randomly was like a top 10 receiver.

This week had two touchdowns with the Pats. It's Tyler O'Jir on your bench having 23 points. At least he's on someone's bench and you can at least feel good thinking I'll start him next week. Rashid Shahid and Puka Nakua, Tutu Atwell. I mean, most people are Googling those names. Van Jefferson was a red herring. Yeah. I will let you reserve the right to change your mind on our waiver show.

That will run on Monday. However, right now. Yeah. if you had to pick one of these to be legit for the rest of the season. One receiver or one person, one, any player? Isn't that the same thing? No, I'm asking one of any different position,

like running backs included? Oh, no, receiver. I thought you were just asking receivers for people. I was like, of course. Okay. What the fuck is going on? Hyphids is really getting existential time. I was like,

I was still thinking about the Guigi dogs. Craig just listed receivers What are the people Were we talking about? I don't know. Okay, well, ask your question. Rashid E. Dekua, 2-2, Kendrick of all these guys.

I mean, all these guys are like top 10 receivers today, basically. I think the guy with the most probably staying power is just off the top of my head is probably Kendrick Bourne for the Patriots. I mean, didn't Simmons say he's going to be like secretly their guy this year or whatever? And he's like been kind of a superstar in training camp for them. He's good. Mac Jones called him his go-to-go-guy after the game.

I would say Puka Nakua, but I think that at least at some point, Cooper Cup is going to come back and, like, severely eat into his target load. So I would probably say Kendrick Bourne. Also, we don't know what's going on with the health of Jacoby Myers because he got hit and knocked out on a scary play, but he also had a fantastic game. He looked amazing. Jacoby Myers looked great. He had 80 yards, two touchdowns, nine catches.

First game of his career with two touchdowns. Yeah, he looked awesome. So I hope he is well. And if he's on the field, honestly, even the Raiders in general didn't look terrible. That was one of the more horrifying replays have had in quite some time

that Jacoby Myers replay. Yeah, he was knocked out. Yeah. That was horrifying. And now the Raiders are atop the AFC West, as we all expect that. Yeah, that's great. What a weird sport.

Jimmy Garapolo, better than Derek Carr? Starr not out there. They're just different, man. Jivvy, I will say, like the second play of the game just ran out, took a huge hit. And I was like, what's wrong with you? You're made of paper machet.

Like, why you're dipping yourself in water? Like, what are you doing? And he was like, rib and bat. Jimmy doesn't really play like he's hot. You know what I mean? Jimmy's kind of like reckless and like all over the place. Like, even though he's injury prone, like, he still kind of sends it, which I respect. I, to tell you the truth, there are a couple players.

Like, Baker also has started just throwing himself around and being like, fuck it. Like, I'll just get hit. But in a way of like, I kind of needed to earn everyone's respect because everyone hated me. And I wonder if Jimmy has the same thing where he's hurt so much,

he's like, no, I have to be tough, especially after Derek Carr, where Derek Carr's whole thing is, honestly, Derek Carr's whole vibe is that Derek Carr grew up in the shadow

of David Carr, who was like an incredible prospect and was ruined because the Texans gave up like 150 sacks in two seasons. David Carr was sacked like 210 times in three or four years. So like, Derek Carr just saw his older brother walloped

and he won't take it. And I feel like Jimmy's just like, I take hits, but I was like, all right, you don't need to take that many hits, guy. Calm down. He's like, oh, you think I'm a pretty boy? You'll see. And then he's just like the full body cast, like the guy from SpongeBob. All right. Time for the most important thing of the whole day.

And the only thing that will bring me any joy, which is the burn book. I love that. Every segment in this entire podcast has just been us, feel like, God damn it. I hate these people. I hate my team. I hate fantasy. I really have nothing going on I was just like so euphoric

waking up this morning like everything is going to go so well I love all my teams I'm so excited about all the guys I got I had the best plan man my plan was amazing and it's all gone to shit do you guys want to do you have a burn book

candidate or I do I'm going to say AJ Dylan which is dangerous because Aaron Jones got hurt so he might actually be the starter week, but I just don't want to fall for it again. Like, I'm just, I'm dissolving myself of AJ Dillon. I'm

washing my hands of it. I used to think he was really good. I no longer think that. I just can't do it anymore. 13 carries for 19 yards. I just, I just can't, I would never put him in the starting lineup again. I hope I don't anyway. You guys got to convince me not to. Put him in the burn book.

I'm doing Drake London. He had zero catches. It's like, the more you look like a wide receiver, the less interested Arthur Smith isn't getting you the ball. Like he's like, you know what? Kyle Pitts is like kind of alignment. I'll give him the ball. Like, oh, running backs. Like they're like like, like, he just despises passing and Desmond throws the ball 12 times a game. So you, there's, there's no convincing that you can do to make me think Drake London is going to like bounce back. What if you guys had to guess right now, what is the

most amount of targets Drake London is going to have in a game this year? Like, is he over under like six and a half? Yes. Five and a half. Exactly. It's exactly the number I picked in head with six and a half. Bejohn led the team today in targets was six. Again, Arthur Smith is telling us who he is. We just need to listen. He has no interest in passing the ball to Drake London. He's, I think he's actually like, it's more than that, Craig. Like, he's invested in pissing us off. Like, he hates us more and we hate him. He's the first coach who's like, actually, I'm a troll and this is a bit because my dad's like, I got a billion dollars. I don't fucking care if I get fired. My dad's FedEx.

I'm taking you guys out with me. I'm going to shave my beard and have a weird mustache and not past all my good players. Oh, my God. I mean, there's a chance he is just Big Cat in a hat. We don't know. He could be Big Cat calling plays. If it's, look at the screen.

For those of you who didn't listen to our Friday episode, Arthur Smith looks like Big Cat. He looks like Big Cat's dad. Older brother. I don't know what Big Cat's dad looks like. He looks like what I would think Big Cat's guy. I don't either. I'm saying he looks old and weathered.

I'm out on Drake London. Thanks for brain Drake London and AJ Dylan. That's very, very sweet of you guys. We're going to burn Cadarius fucking Tony. Because my God. Did you see how he moved?

It's ever been a player. It's ever been a player. He's ever deserved a goddamn burn book. He got five targets. Five targets on 11 routes. Give him fucking 50 rounds. One receiving yard, negative one rushing yard.

He dropped three passes. And one of those passes. was tipped for a pick six that was in his hands and they gave up a pick six in a game they lost by one point. There will not be a single skill player all year that goes more out of his way to lose a game while contributing

nothing of any positive substance whatsoever. Like ever. Like you could do bad things and good things. I don't know if we'll ever get a player doing solely so many negative things or that any positive contributions. I genuinely mean this. This is not a bit.

I really do believe this with every fiber of my being. Cadarious Tony is a by-low. Yes. I actually do, too. I actually agree with that. I actually do. Like, I actually feel worse about Sky Moore's rule than I do about Kateria's rule. You know why? Yes.

You know, I've never been lower, though. That's because it's never been lower, though. Ball liquor! These prices have never been lower! That's an office joke, for those of you who watch the office. But this man had five-tar. They clearly try to get him the ball. He's the Mario Rivera of the team.

Like, anytime they like are in the red zone needs something to happen. That's no, no. He was good and clutched and showed up. How dare you? They want him to be the Mariona Rivera. Is that better? Look, five targets, 11 routes.

Yeah, he dropped two passes. Big fucking deal. A lot of people drop passes. He's still electric and all the other receivers are bad. So, and I know he's been good. They want him to be Marioana Rivera the pitcher. What he actually is Marioira Rivera when he throws to first base. And I don't know if you watch it of baseball,

but he couldn't do it. It's like, yeah, they would just bunt to him and he would sail it 10 feet over the first basement. Yeah, Chuck Knoblock, he'd just throw it home plate. He didn't know to throw it first. That's Kateras Stoney. He's so fast that. I believe that. Mahomes was throwing behind him every time.

He's just so fast, you know? Honestly, that big drop at the end was kind of behind him. I think Craig and I are vetoing your... I agree that he's probably, bylaw, having said that one bird book for you. I don't care. You're giving me this. The giant just lost $40 to nothing. We have to vote.

We need a majority vote. Yeah. It's not, it's not Tony. I can't. I'm going to snap. I'm going to snap. Craig, now's not the time, man. You're fucking lose it.

You are out on him for the season? You're out. You have no injuries. You will never add him. I've never been more out on anything in my entire life. Oh, my God. Fine. I'll create my own book.

You guys are in it. We're going to split the book. For the record, I'm with Craig, but I don't want to push hyphitz to the point. of no return here. No, he's a broken man. He's a broken man. Listen, for the content, he cannot be in the burn book because every week we need to check in on his status

and talk ourselves into him every week. He can't be in the burn book. He's not going in the book. I'm not getting voted out of this. D.K., you're going to have to put your name on the record because I'm not, I'm not voting. Yeah, no, I'm not taking Cadarius out. I refuse to put him in.

I'm not doing it. I'm fine with Drake London. So mad I did the show. I'm fine with it. I do have him on a couple teams, unfortunately. But, you know, as you guys know, I just don't want to have to think about Arthur Smith. So it's fine with me.

For those reasons, I'm out. Did you see that Mark Cuban said that he's, like, actually down money? Like, in terms of, like, all of his investments on Shark Take, he's, like, announced that he's actually just, like, in the red. As a whole, after all of his investment. I just feel like that's me with anything Arthur Smith does. I'm like, I try, I've tried.

I do it a million times. I can never guess the right one. I can never pick the right company. That's going to take off. I'm out. It's going to be Corderole Patterson next week. You know, I don't know. I don't know who's going to be.

Maybe Desmond Raiders is going to run for you twice next week. I just don't know. Yeah. I'm kind of stunned by the Mark Cuban hasn't made money on Shark Tank thing. We're not looking at his books, but that was a report. I think he said that, right?

No, he said it. Mark Cuban hasn't profited from the show. I'm reading it right now. Yeah. That's crazy. I mean, he's probably not factoring in the salary he gets paid. No, someone said, are you up all time?

Are you up all time on Shark Tank investments? And he's like, like up financially? Oh, no, no, no, I got him beat. Yeah. But he makes money for the show. Like financially? Does he own the show? Does he own that show or is he just?

Like ABC on the show. I don't know. But the point being, then you just go on. You're like, why should I sell to you market? Also, he probably makes like, I don't know, half a million dollars or a million dollars just to do the show every year. So he's fine. We're not worried about it.

Cuban for the record. Who was the NBA player? He couldn't attend the meeting for them to sign a huge free agent because he is contractually obligated to be a shark tank. It was a big deal. It wasn't LeBron,

but it was someone very important. Durant, I didn't see that. That doesn't surprise me. Durant's like very, like wants to be like a businessman and like a media mogul. He like started his own knockoff show. You know, like LeBron's the shop.

He like started his own called like the table or something and it's like the boardroom, right? but yeah nobody watched that that should be our version is the table welcome to the table all right I'm kidding all right Drake London you're in the book

sorry but you know what though Drake London doesn't care because they're what to know he doesn't care if he's in the book I'm sure he doesn't care about the potential millions and millions he's losing in future earnings yeah he doesn't care one and oh Drake London's dying to lose in the wildcard round and not get a second contract.

That's his goal. All right. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, D.K. Thank you, Carlos, for producing this episode. Thank you, Arthur Smith, for the content. Thank you, Lord. It's all about the content.

Lord. Thank you, Doja Cat. Hell yeah. Wow. Didn't see you come out with that one. Did her album come out, or was it just a single? Don't know. I'm surprised you didn't drop Olivia Rodriguez, new album.

But are you a fan of hers? I don't, I'm not familiar with her work. I thought guts was pretty good, but not as good to sour. I've only listened to the first half of it, but I think it's really good. She's definitely leaned into punk, which I enjoy. Yeah, people have called her like the song Bird of a Generation. But really, it's like the Avril of the Inifer Generation. Yeah, she's going way more alternative in punk.

I feel like the first album was like a little bit more like, oh is this the next Taylor Swift and now it's like ooh she's actually more like Well Taylor Swift and then now she Isn't Taylor Swift anymore Yeah Taylor Swift is Taylor Swift's Taylor Swift Because Taylor Swift's

Well you're too Taylor Swifty Okay something something lawyers exchange words And then Taylor Swift's now a co-writer On three of the songs Oh wow So I know Now she sounds like I actually find the world of like Artists stealing other artists like sounds

Whether or not they claim that they knew they were stealing it to be very interesting. Like, there's already, there's some Miley Cyrus song that sounds just like an All-American bitch, which is Olivia Rodriguez's first song in her album. And it sounds just like a Miley Cyrus song.

There's like a bunch of do a leap of songs that sound like other songs. Yeah, yeah, that's heartbreaking. I find all that stuff very fascinating. Like, do the producers know this? And is it like a really fine line at what's considered, like, not, you know, copyright infringement?

It's very interesting. And I important caveat. I listen to Olivia Rodriguez, like, probably a weird amount for 28-year-old man. It's like fantastic. Like having said that, it is, how did they determine it? Well, it's a whole segment of music law,

but yeah, it's crazy where it's like, oh, she, oh no, she had a like the, whatever the song was that got ripped from Haley, Williamson Pallamore. I can't speak. I'm so rattled by 40-0.

But it's like, oh, no, like she didn't make her a songwriter and give the profits back. Olivia Rodriguez had an Apple commercial and a Facebook commercial at the same time. Like, who cares? The greatest move you could ever do as an artist

is just copy a really fucking famous song, make it better, let that person have the rights, and then just live off the fame that you earn from making this cool, super popular song. All the brand deals you're going to do. Yo, we should do this with Mariah Carey. We should get sued by Mariah Carey. Let's just change the name of the show

to like the Mariah Carey Football Podcast. We just play her music under all of our ads and our intro. Wait, we can do it this season, the Christmas. We should just do all I want for Christmas is Kyle Pitts or something. I don't know. She'll want her name associated. Look, I love it. I just, I really want to know,

and again, this is stuff I could easily find out by Googling it. But like, I just want to know how they determine it if it's fair use or not. Like, is it like a guy listening to the song? He's like, hmm, these sound pretty close. And they're like, illegal, you know? Like, how do they do it? Is it like, oh, it needs to be a certain percentage of beats that are the same? Or it feels so subjective to me.

Like, is there just like a table of experts on the show The Table? That just didn't listen. And they're like, I don't know about this one. Email us at ringer fantasy football at Gmail.com. If you have, like, a lawyer. Craig's comment was, I know that I could probably figure the answer out very easily by just Googling this. This is like the last 15 minutes of our show is just that's the meta version of that.

We don't want to know. We like talking it out. It's a pre-internet thing. Google has almost removed. the need to talk to people. But that's why I don't Google things. So I can talk to people and be ignorant. It is bliss.

Goodbye, everyone.