The Ringer NFL Show - Week 14 Winners, Losers, and Brady Gets Brocked

Episode Date: December 12, 2022

We recap Week 14 by giving out awards for the biggest winners and losers for the final week of the fantasy regular season, including the stars who murdered your playoffs hopes, the tight end explosion, the Texans' almost historic upset, Tony Pollard’s legendary year, Saquon-panic, the mid-round wide receiver saviors, and more. We end by inducting our next player into the 2022 Fantasy Burn Book. Check out our Weekly Fantasy Football Rankings for positional rankings and more! Email us! [e-mail] Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Producers: Craig Horlbeck and Kai Grady Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey everyone, it's Ariel Halwani. And I'm Chuck Mindenhall. And I'm Pizzi Carroll and together we are three-pack. Join us on the brand-new Spotify Live app immediately after all of the biggest fights in combat sports. And also during the way-ins because that's when the real drama happens. So what are you waiting for? Follow the Ringer M-M-A show right now on our exclusive Spotify podcast feed. And come join the best community in M-M-A.

Peace. We're out of here. Welcome to the Ringer Fantasy Football Show. My name is Danny Hyattinson. And I am joined by just Craig Rollback today. DK is not feeling well. So it is just the two young legends of the fall, Craig and I. The Seahawks lost to the Panthers and he texts us, I'm out.

I'm just not doing it this week. I can't. We're like, all right, I get it. Sam Darnel just beat you. Mental health day, everyone gets it, you know? It just happens. I could have took one too based on how the Giants went. Same.

Sunday of Week 14 is over. We're going to give up some awards. Again, just Craig and I. So you know what? We're going to do it. It's just going to be all SpongeBob theme probably. We're just going to get to it. This game, these games kind of suck today?

Sunday football was fine. Sunday night football was good, but for the last week of the fantasy regular season, I feel like you either had one of the five guys who put up 30 points and you won that week, or you struggled to get to 100, like myself. It was kind of a brutal week. I think we could just go in reverse for a second.

The Dolphins Chargers game was so odd. Everyone picked the dolphins to kind of crush, and I knew the Chargers was going to win when the 35 people on the NBC Sunday or the NBC pre-game show, all of them picked... the Dolphins and I was like, uh-oh. And also, this game was set up as like the ultimate referendum on Tua and Herbert.

And man, has there ever been a larger gap in quarterback completions than in this game? Justin Herbert had 39 completions. Tua had 10. Well, D.K., you know, may he rest in peace. But D.K. said that before this game, it was the Bad Faith Super Bowl. Yeah. And that was correct because now this game is just going to be held. Like if two had won, all the people like us who love Justin Herbert would have been like,

well, you know, teams versus players. But now that Herbert won, we could just hold it over to it forever. He looked terrible. He looked horrible. Like, truly horrible. And they were talking about how the Chargers defense was disrupting them so much because they decided to play press man coverage. It's like, okay.

That's not like some revelation. Cool, they're playing press man. Like, figure it out. 10 for 28? Good Lord, that's all it takes. Jeez. Especially, like, again, well, also, because there was that insane play, the Tyree Kill Fumble recovery, that was one, it was a joke, but like genuinely was a

rugby play. The fact that those yards don't count for fantasy, I don't know how many. Friendships are going to end this week. It was like a 60-yard fumble pickup and run for touchdown. He doesn't get any of the yards. He gets the touchdown. He gets the six points. But that's a 12-point play in fantasy.

He gets six. How is that fair? It's categorized. Basically, all the sites explained it basically as well, it's kind of like punt return yards, where if your player scores the touch, then you get the points, but you don't get the yards. But it's not a special team's play. That's the thing. It's like a special team.

I think the actual true answer is that it's not rushing yards and the way they actually pull the stats that is that it's rushing. And because it's not categorized as rushing, the actual box scores from the official league stats that all these sites are pulling from aren't registering and it's rushing. So they have nowhere to count it as so they just don't do it. But it doesn't make any sense that. a player can advance the ball and you don't get that yardage for the player. That just doesn't make sense.

Does any one person in America have a problem with just making it a rushing yard? Does anyone care? Who cares? It's either just like in the ether out there and we just have no idea or we count it as rushing yards or receiving yards. Who cares? Why does anyone care? It's like the UFO.

It's the unidentified yards. It's just like floating. But then, though, the people care that people are going to lose because you count those yards and they're like, well, we got to go back through the rest of the season and we're going to count all the yards that we didn't count. It creates a bunch of fantasy carry lakes. It's just like the recounts. Next year, we need to reevaluate and figure out the whole fumble recovery yards thing because

it's bullshit. I don't care where they come from. Just find the yards. I just need 20 yards. Just find the yards for me. Something happened. And then Monday nights in Arizona. There's a lawsuit somewhere.

While we're on this game, the amount of times that we've made fun of Brandon Staley this season for the, come on, fourth down monkey. Just go for it. Just go for it. That's your thing, right? Then the whole game, he just keeps coming up over and over. However, someone pointed this out that we gaslit D.K. on Friday. Andrew emailed us in to say, we did that.

And D.K. was like, is that a quote? And we were like, no, D.K., that's an original thought. Like, tried for once, not just quoting movies all the time. Yeah. Guess what? That's a movie quote. It's from Zoolander. Yeah, but did they invent Dance Monkey?

Or is Dance Monkey so ubiquitous that it can't be brought back to a specific, you know, time? But it's ubiquitous because it's in everything. It's a SpongeBob's and everything. But we did the Zoolander, like Pat and Oswald's yelling at Zoolander. and he's just like, D.K., and there's like, Dance Monkey,

dance! That's definitely what we did. You think D.K. thought we came up with Dance Monkey? I think he, I think he was like, is the Brandon Staley dance monkey a thing? Not the term dance monkey,

but I could be wrong. We'd have to get D.K. on the horn. Yeah, we'll ask him. I think we gasped at him. Anyway, I also gaslight you guys

because we were talking about Mike Williams, Mike Evans. I convinced you both you said the wrong name, but that's neither heard or there. I was wrong. A lot of gaslighting.

All right. That's Sunday at football. winners and losers the week, Craig. What do you got for me? With this being the last week of the fantasy regular season, you needed your guys to step up today, the guys you've been counting on all season. And boy, oh boy, were there a lot of playoff murderers out there who destroyed your season and ruined everything in a fiery heap. Let's start with, who should we start with? Sequin Barclay, perhaps. So the first three on my list here, Sequin, Tom Brady and Stefan Diggs, all three of which I had on my team today. I did not win. They've been pretty solid all season except Tom Brady. But let's start

Seekwon, who I might nominate for second half of the season, LVP. Sequin has been bad. Sequin has more rushing yards in week 10 this year than he has in week 11, 12, 13, and 14 combined. The Giants are a completely different team than they were in the first half of the season. Sequin looks like 2020 and 2021 Seekwon. And it looks like he's doing the thing again where he's trying to hit the home run and he's getting hit two yards behind a line of scrimmage. I don't like their matchups moving forward.

It's brutal. In terms of this game, the Giants were just outclassed by the Eagles from the entire time. And you're like, oh, it's almost like this is the best team in football. And the Giants are starting Isaiah Hodgins and actually made me to perform. And their offensive lines banged up. And I can't even blame Seekwan, but I will say, we need to get a new memento tattoo for next year, which is you should just trade the MVP's of the first half. Yes, always. When you're like, wow, Sequin's so glad I, wow, best pick and fantasy.

Just trade that person. When has that ever, like, when has the person who's been out playing their expectation for the first eight weeks actually kept up that pace for. the second half of the season. Perfect example of last year, Mike Williams. Like, it's just never going to sustain. Trade the guy. Cooper cut probably last year. Sure. But he ended up, and he was fine down the stretch, but he ended up being really good. But then, I mean, I guess. I mean, even Amonra Saint Brown. Like, he got hurt. I don't know. Yeah. Just trade them. He's been really tough. And obviously, you have to start him. But the guy's putting up like five points a game. I don't know what to do. It's going to be so frustrating when we don't remember this.

I know. You're right. This is what we need Kai to come back and tell us. a year from now. Hey, guys, remember? Week 14, Sequin, three straight weeks of five points. Yeah, the giant sucks. Sequin, Brady Diggs. But there were more people who sucked today. Yeah, Nick Chubb, seven points, worst game of the season. Like, Chub and Stefan Diggs particularly are like the most consistent guys in the league. Like, you can depend on them, their matchup proof, whatever. Man, today, Chub in the entire Brown's offense, I mean, they've looked like a mess ever since Deshaun came back anyway, but he couldn't do anything on the ground. Diggs, that game was a mess with the Jets. It was raining. He put up five points. And then you keep going, like all

these guys who you've been depending on all year. C.D. Lamb had his worst game since week one. Chris Godwin and Mike Evans at Brady. That was a disaster. DJ Moore had less than one point. Don't even get me started on DJ Moore. It's been, it was a really rough day. A lot of guys that didn't make the playoffs because of these superstars.

Yeah, I think that Chubb and Diggs hurt because what you said of the consistency. Diggs, I actually would look, that was Stefan Diggs' like lowest yardage output without a touchdown since 2019. Like, he was on the Vikings. So that's just absolutely brutal. But then all these other guys, I mean, some of them, you're just like, you know what? That's, I get what's coming. I mean, like, DJ more.

I feel like an idiot for playing him. I feel like an idiot for having him. That's fine. But the bucks getting destroyed, it was like the totality of it was unbelievable. I felt like watching, like one of the, you've seen those videos of like a sun, like caving in on itself? No. Oh, no. Like, no one of the, no.

Honestly, I don't know if I see a video, I think it's just in movies, but a planet, I guess not a son. I'll look. I'll check it out after the show. Anyway, it was bad. That's all I'm trying to say. The Bucks, they had their first drive. I went like 40 yards, 10 plays, but it was scripted, right? Like the first 10 plays.

After that, they went three and out, three and out, three and out, turn over and downs. And then they just were like, let's just end the half with a kneel down. And then they come out of halftime and Brady throws a pick. And then the next time they get a drive from their first drive with the scripted plays, the next time they actually had a drive that got like multiple first downs. They were down 35 down that thing. I mean, I feel like I got my fourth text from you this year that was like, is this the worst game of Tom Brady's career?

And it was up until the fourth quarter, which has kind of been the theme with Brady. He's like fucking Tim Tebow or Blake Bortles now, where it's like the first three quarters, the bucks are going to have three points. And then in the final five minutes, he's going to put up two touchdowns and garbage time. And I guess salvage the fantasy performance where if you just check after the game, you're like, oh, Brady, 200 yards, two touchdowns. But in reality, he looked like a skeleton out there for the first 40 minutes of the game. I can't believe he didn't come out.

Like, I think it's kind of like a little window into how he is this good. in the first place, that he wouldn't come out of this game down 35 to 7 or whatever. With three minutes left. He was playing. That's like reckless. It's so...

Or maybe he's just so confident he won't get hit. I don't even know he's getting rid of the ball so fast. That was wild. I mean, Brady at this point is a matchup dependent quarterback where if he's going up against like a strong defensive line, I don't know if he's startable in fantasy. I don't think he's worth betting on. I mean, the offensive line is obviously beat up,

but Brady is so immobile. and the wide receivers, every time they have a deep shot, Brady misses it, or there's a penalty that hasn't called back and happened again today. Mike Evans set the record this year

for most touchdowns called back, I bet. He had another 60-yard touchdown today called back. Oh, my God, yes. It's unbelievable. But yeah, man, maybe the Panthers

are going to win the NFC. They went out. Yeah, seriously. Well, it's so funny because it's so funny to think of like the first of the bucks winning a division, but one of the wild card teams,

whether it's the Cowboys or like, getting them the bucks. The difference of like getting, I don't care how bad the bucks are, the difference between getting Tom Brady in the playoffs at Tom Brady's place versus the Panthers feels like one of the biggest differentials

in the history of the league in terms of like who you could be playing in the playoff matchup. It just feels like completely different things. Other one we have to mention, but probably the most brutal of all this week, the T. Higgins thing. T. Higgins literally ghosted people today. So he zero points.

He basically didn't play. He was taken off the injury. report at the end of the week, and I guess he tweeted his hamstring and pregame warmups, he just didn't play. So everyone played him. He just gave him a goose sake. And he's done this, already done this to people this season. It happened in like week five or six or whatever. There were Bengals were playing the Ravens Sunday football. And they were like, yeah, he's going to play. Zero concerns. And then he didn't play either. So, I mean, that's just what a, what a like a, like an F you? Yeah. I'm usually a pretty merciless fantasy commissioner. But these scenarios,

I start to be like, man, should we come up with a way to help people who are stuck in a situation? Like, maybe you should get a backup choice here? Because this is like, like when you're in the first quarter and you text your commissioner,

like, what the fuck? I started T. Higgins. I guess he's not playing today because he hurt his hamstring 60 seconds before the game. There might need to be a rule instituted where you can actually get a replacement player.

Well, this is one of those things where fantasy, the idea of fantasy substitution is delicate, but the real answer is like, the reason it's, doesn't happen is because it used to be like Bill Simmons playing fantasy in like 1980 and they would actually have to mail in and then you'd find out if you won two days later. So the concept that you could make it in-game substitution was like literally not possible.

And so that it just hasn't been invented or standardized. I mean, there's no reason you couldn't just do it for your own league and figure out a system and like there's a thousand different ways. But like, yeah, this is the kind of thing. We're like, why can't we do substitutions again? Yeah, this is just like the one part of fantasy where I actually kind of understand. Usually, like, when the one guy's complaining, you're like, all right, dude, you're mad because you lost. But this is one of the more difficult predicaments, I think, in fantasy.

Yeah, it's just, the problem is then people just start bitching and bitching and then give him a mouse a cookie. And then suddenly people just want to swap out, you know, Brady because, you know, he's old. All right. Craig, what's next? We have the better late than never slash the fake god I called that guy award. Kind of just the randos who took off this week that completely saved your week 14. Well, hold on, wait. Explain the Billy Madison quote. You can do it.

You go ahead. Well, just the thing of Billy Madison went like, I never, oh, the game show, which is incredible, and then the guy pulls a gun on him, and then it's Steve Bouchemies at the end. They just like snips him from the quarter, and he's like, but that was it, to random people. Yeah, man. Can we start with Evan Ingram, who literally led all fantasy football players and points today. He had 34 Evan Ingram.

The Jaguars in general were kind of like the, thank God I call that guy, because they're, I mean, they're the most Jekyll and Hyde team in the league right now. Last week, the Jaguars, I can't say Jaguars, Jaguars. Yeah, you say it, you say it like it's Lizzie McGuire, but. McGuire, Jaguar. But I do think there is like a large group of, there are literally dozens of us who say it like that. No, I think it's like a third of the country. Jaguar.

I don't know why. How could we make. Jaguar. Jaguar. It's not even like I'm mad at you. I'm just, I don't know how so many people can pronounce it so differently, but that's not either here or there. Anyway, the Jags.

Last week put up 14 against the Lions. The Lions. This week they put up 36 against the Titans. Trevor Lawrence, three touchdown looks great. Basically every other week, the Jags look like the three seed in the AFC. And then the other weeks look like a bottom three team in the league. But the Evan Ingram thing is an absolute revelation. I mean, I can't remember a time.

Tason Hill, I think, is the only other tight end who is like the guy who's continuously on the Waver Wire episode we do. for like 15 straight weeks and then one week leads the entire league in points. Right now, Evan Ingram is the fourth, has the fourth most fantasy points

at Tide-in on the entire season. I got nothing for you. Do you know who's fifth? Who? Taysam Hill? Yeah, of course he is. That maniac? And you know what?

Do I recommend starting Evan Ingram next week? Not really. I guess you give it a shot, but I don't know. He had one target three weeks. ago in a game. He had one target against Baltimore three weeks ago. He had 15 targets today. He had more catches, more yards, and

more touchdowns today than he did in the previous four games combined. Literally, his previous month was not as good as today. So, and to be honest, it's been such a bleak year for tight ends as it is every year. Today, not that bad for tight ends. Like, all the guys you actually needed and the guys you have had on your roster

for a while, kind of panned out. Like, Pat Firemuth delivered a touchdown and Joku delivered with a touchdown. Hawkinson, Dalton Schultz, good games. kind of like the new solid crew that's like formed in the last six weeks at tight end actually kind of all came through for you today. Yeah, it's kind of like you had like a

like you try to have like a get-together party and you're like, oh, everybody came. That's weird. Everybody showed up. Yeah, I know. It was nice. It took them 14 weeks, but they got here. It was polite.

Speaking of which, the other one, forget it's just tight ends. Thank God I called that guy. Better late than ever. All of the mid-round picks who were incredibly disappointing we're good this week, except Diji Moore, who I hate. The other ones.

Jerry Judy, sure. Three touchdowns. Yeah, whatever. He had six touchdowns in his career entering today, three today. I don't even know what happened. We did say, remember we talked about we were like, weird shit's going to happen in this Broncos Chiefs game?

It felt fishy. It was 27 to zero and it ended, I mean, this is a six point game. And it was like actually close down the stretch. There also, all the quarterback concussions, Russ. And then, I mean, both, the Steelers Ravens game, both, both quarterbacks ended to leave me with the concussions. Can you pick? It was allowed to come back in.

I don't even know how that happened, but, but Judy had three touchdowns. Adam Thielen scored another touchdown today after kind of being like left for dead earlier this season. Juju had his first touchdown in like a month and a half. J.K. Dobbins, just out of nowhere, back from the dead, activated off injury reserve and then just comes back. Immediately has like 120 yards at a touchdown.

Just runs for one long run. He looks injured. Unlike his first touch of the game, I don't really understand why he was even playing. announcers like, yeah, it doesn't look healthy. Just played the whole game. I don't understand. This is a really niche reference, but do you remember that video that went viral?

It was a Madden video of Greg Jennings breaking his leg and there's a guy narrating it. Oh, yeah. You remember that? This dude broke his fucking leg. That's what J.K. Dobbins looked like on a 60-yard scamper yet. He's got like one stiff leg. It's like he's got like a wooden board tied to his left leg and he's like hoblet along. I couldn't believe it was like, this guy was deemed healthy to play.

Also, shouts out to anybody who started. him, it's really hard to start a guy fresh off IR, especially J.K. Dobbins. Didn't you start him? So shouts out me. Did you just want a shout out to yourself? You know, the only reason why I started him, nobody cares about my fantasy league, but I have two leagues, I have Damien Pearson

both, and I thought, you know what, I'm not going to get screwed in both if he sucks. So I benched him in one and replaced him with J.K. Dobbins, because I was like, fuck it. You were right. Nobody cares. However, I think it's amazing that you were like, props to the people who started. I wish you didn't know who was on my team, because

that would have just kind of flown right by you if you didn't know I had him. Well, Damien Pierce also. Yeah, man. Damien Pierce, I mean, we talked about him a lot on Friday. He had like an entire category around him because, you know, tough times right now. There's a ton of buys. And, like, Damien Pierce has been somebody you've been riding with the entire season.

He's been extremely consistent up until like the last four weeks when the Texans are in full tank for Wembon, Yama mode. And they're playing the Cowboys. You know, the worst part is when Yahoo projections catch up with a, players' performance. Like for a while, when Damien Pierce is just getting started, he was projected for like six points a game because he was a rookie. And he was exceeding it every week because he became the starter. Then Yahoo caught up and he was averaging, or then he was projected like, you know, 14, 15 points every game. He started to suck. He continued to be projected like 14, 15. Now Yahoo has caught up and he's projected like eight or nine again. He's like back at like a mid-level flex. And what do you know?

in his darkest hour, all those stubborn people who dared to dream started Damien Pierce on the one in 11 and one Texans against the Dallas Cowboys and the man had 12 fantasy points and a touchdown.

Well, the Texans immediately rewarded us with the Costanza. On Friday, we were talking about like, look, there's no possible way that Cowboys can lose. There's no possible, I mean, Texans beat 17-point underdogs

is that too much? We're like, but if every instinct you have is wrong, the opposite must be true. And then the Texans immediately come out. They were winning at half time. They were winning until two minutes.

Also, they almost won the freaking game. I have to say, what was the funniest part was we were like, well, the Cowboys' defense will dominate. The funniest part is they did. They just, the Cowboys just kept turning the ball over. Like the Texans got the first touchdown because the offense got the ball at like the 24-yard line. And their second touchdown, I think they got the ball at the 27-yard line. And then the Cowboys defense, it's weird to say they played well in this game. but the Texans literally got the ball at one point at the four-yard line,

like four yards from scoring, and the Cowboys just goal line stand, didn't even give up a point. So, like, in a weird way, the Cowboys' defense played fantastic, but Dak was, like, kind of off. But, dude, Tony Pollard was out of his mind in this game. This, dude, like...

I can't believe he's kept it up, to be honest. If we're doing the better, like, better late than never to, like, you know, freaking, I don't know, Jerry Judy, Tony Poller deserves like the lifetime achievement award for better late than ever. I know. We were trying to come up with like what this, like, is he the golden handcuff? I don't know what he is, but he is a specific type of fantasy player that only comes along like once in a decade.

And I can't believe he's been so hot for pretty much every single game where he gets 10 plus touches. Yeah, like what do they call Johnstone Game of Thrones? He's like the Prince that was promised. He's like the handcuff that was promised. Like literally three years of just hearing Tony. Paul had, yeah, if Zeeke ever gets hurt, and it's like, cool. And we saw Tony Pollard get like one or two starts in three years.

And it was like, you know, if Zeeke ever gets hurt. And then Zick just like never really missed time. And it was like, yeah, Jerry Jones just doesn't want to play Tony Pallard. Even this year at the beginning didn't want to play Tony Pollard. And then the second Tony Pollard has actually starting getting stamps this year, he is unstoppable. He's basically a top four running back every single week that he plays. Looking at his line, like, you know, sometimes when you don't have a guy in your fantasy team,

kind of just like forget how they're doing. You know they've been playing well, but you don't really know. Looking, his last six games, this is a staggering line. His last six games, 20, 23, 7, 33, 20, 33. So in five of his six games, he has 33, 33, 20, 2320. And he's a backup. That is the most important point is that it's not even technically the starter. Like, here's the thing.

Put it on this season. Tony Pollard is like basically tied with Sequin to be like the sixth best running back like he's the sixth best running back fantasy. Tony Pollard is more than 100 fewer touches than Sequin. That's a bad way to say it. But like Sequin has more than 100 extra touches than Tony Pollard. They have the same amount of fantasy.

Maybe we give him the Deon Waiters Award, the guy who does the most with the least? I don't know. But it's like if Dion Waiters, but what's the whole thing with Deon Waiters Award? It's like you come off the bench and play like eight minutes that have a great line. Who's the player that can play like 20 minutes

but lead the entire game in scoring? Like Zion and then he gets hurt at halftime but in the first half he had like 30? No, it's like Clay. When did Clay have like the 40 points on like nine dribbles? It's like if Clay did that. That's what every Tony Pollard said. Clay had 37 and the third of a game once.

I don't have a dribbles. That's like with every Tony Pollard game is just the Clay Thompson third quarter. Like that's it. Maybe that's what we call. Third quarter. Pollard, I don't know. Email us,

ringer fantasy football at gmail.com. We need the Tony Pollard nickname award. You're right. We need a nickname for Tony Pollard. It's officially time. There's nobody else like him. Nobody does.

We guess. Email us at ringer fantasy football at gmail.com. We need a name for Tony Pollard also. You know what else with Tony Pollard? Can you tell me like anything about him? No. Like as a person. He went to Memphis where they just average 10 yards of carry and then the running backs

don't get drafted and it's the whole, I'm like, always like, Every time I hear that, they were in draft mode. I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, why does every running back from Memphis average 10 yards of carry? Why don't we just do whatever they do on offense? But I don't know. I never follow up on that.

Who's the head coach at Memphis? Like Antonio Gibson, like, all these guys are just like, what's going on over there? I always read that. I'm like, huh, that's crazy. And then I just come back the next year. I'm like, okay. But I don't know. What else?

What's next? All right. I want to talk about the guys who were just a waste of fantasy points today. fantasy recycling. It's all just garbage. These go nowhere. Have we been happy about anything other than Tony Pollard today? Tony Pollard? Wow, you're actually right. This is way more negative of a week than I thought.

Jerry Judy was fun. Anyway, sorry, continue. These are just all the guys who just wasted away on your bench that you were, you couldn't even really be mad at yourself that you didn't start these guys because they haven't been that good all year. But man, some random blowups this week. Chris Moore, could you tell me who Chris Moore was two weeks ago? on the Texans, 22 points.

Zay Jones had 21. DJed Chark on the Lions had 21. Marquis Goodwin, 18 for Seattle. Richie James, your boy on New York, 15. Jerich McKinnon was the number one running back in fantasy football today for the Chiefs. 29 points. And then last but not least,

our boy, Mr. 20 bedrooms, four bathrooms, Russell Wilson, 26 points for Russ. Not a single person on the planet started. am I guarantee it. No. Also, he flipped it again, which I keep doing. It's the four bedrooms, 12 bathrooms.

Oh, yeah, right. We keep like, because we keep reflexively being like, well, nobody would have that. There's no way that could be the case. Yeah, no. Right. Yeah, the ratio doesn't stick in your head. But yeah, it's the fact that Russ has even put in this bucket of like wasted like the only people who started him are people who haven't checked their league since like week three,

like some coworker in your work league. That guy started Russ. Those people are either doing terribly or in first place. But I, one, I think I also might get mansplained of the week because someone asked me, should I just play Jarek McKinnon? I was like, well, no, no, no, because he did really well last week because, you know, the Bengals were up and they'd have passed a ton.

But they're playing the Broncos this week. So, you know, how much are they really going to pass to Jerich McKinnon? You know, flash forward. Yeah, what did he have? Two, like, 50-yard touchdowns in the first half? Yep. I mean, he had more points today than he has, like, all-season combined. So.

again, wasting away on your bench. We were talking. Because again, it's like all these fantasy points just wasted at the ether. And how much did we talk this year about we think that we're recycling, but it's actually just getting thrown away in landfills? And that's how I feel looking at all these points. It's like it's not being recycled in the ecosystem. It's just going back with the garbage.

Yeah. It's like I had my real crisis of faith with recycling back when I worked for that TV show, Kimmy Schmidt. And I just saw the guy at the end of the day grabbed the recycling in the knowledge. recycling just dump it into one big bag, toss it into truck. And I was like, well, everything I've ever known is a lie. I can't decide. It's true, though, because especially now that thinking about this,

every time I go to recycle something, I'm like, am I a bad person if I just put this in the garbage? Or am I actually just like a sheep if I just think that there's a difference? You know those garbage cans where there's like the two holes in them, but it's just falling into one can? It says like recycling on the left. It's just the same can. All right.

the exact opposite of the fantasy recycling this is an honor of DK this is the legends of the fall these are the this is why I drafted you guys all like the first rounders who actually showed up and got you the playoffs today Christian McCaffrey 150 scrimmage yards

two touchdowns looks amazing and if you watched them play today you're heading in the playoffs you're like okay this is great I'm happy of Christian McCaffrey Derek Henry 150 scrimmage yards touchdown I mean automatic Jamar Chase 10 catches 119 yards in a touchdown, and then the sneakiest of all.

Justin Jefferson, 11 catches, 223 receiving yards. Quietest 200 plus yard game I can ever remember. I can't remember a single highlight of his 223 yards. Well, he should. There wasn't a highlight because, one, the Vikings are, we got to get to the Vikings being frauds. But for Justin Jefferson, he had a play where he basically did like the sideline tiptoe and ran out of the end zone and they blew the whistle dead and called him back at like the 20

or something. he was in bounds. He did not step out. So they actually robbed him of 20 yards in a touchdown. So he actually should have had like over 240 yards and a touchdown. But see, he really didn't want, he wanted Evan Ingram to be the number one player in fantasy. So he was all right. Yeah. The riffs were like, hey, listen.

Barring injury, do you think that will ever happen again? Evan Ingraham outscoring just in Jefferson a week? Like the rest of their careers. Honestly, no. Also, as a Giants fan, I don't know if Evan Ingraham had, well, he had 100. I don't know if he had 160 yards with the Giants. Like, I know the stats will say that, but like, I kind of don't believe. Yeah, I don't believe it.

He was like four years? No, I know he did. Like, but I kind of, it's a low-stakes conspiracy. In your head, you can't actually remember him catching any passes. I'm seeing here that he had like almost 3,000 yards with the Giants. I don't believe it. Can we talk about 140 max? Can we talk about Fraud Watch and Las Vegas favoring the Lions,

a five-win team against the Vikings, a 10-win team, and being correct? Well, it was a terrible line. It should have been lions by a touchdown. Really, it should be, wow, Vegas, step up your game. Wasn't even close. That was like one of the leading segments, like coming into the game. Like the announcers, whoever it was, were like, man, lions favored against the 10-win Vikings. Interesting.

It was unbelievable. You know what we never talk about? We always, like, how many times does a team win a game? And they're like, you know, we heard what everyone was saying about us. And we, you know, we don't care what I would say. I said people in this locker room. You know, we just use this motivation. We never hear about teams like today

when the Vikings have all of the Bolton board material in the world. Like literally everyone's saying they're frauds. They are literal underdogs basically more or less the first team ever with 10 wins to be an underdog to a 5-win team. And then they just lose. What does that do to you?

We're all week you hype. You know they did it. They hyped yourself up on that and motivate yourself. And then you more or less, because they only lost by what? They lost by 11. Yeah.

But they were down like the whole. game. Yeah. And the Lions just thoroughly outplayed them. Do you think Vikings players ever, do you think there's ever a few of them, a few guys who are kind of off in the back, just being like, we're not, we're not 10 win good. You started admitting it to yourself this week, and then one more loss, you start whispering it to the people you trust. And then you're screwed. Like, that stuff's insidious. Like, the second that seed is planted and you're like, you know what, I don't know if we have it this year. Like, if I had to guess, who do you think right now is going to have a better record to finish the season? Lions or Vikings, starting now moving forward.

No, stop. No, the Vikings will. But the fact that it's even a question is ridiculous. I'm not saying total of the end of the year. I'm saying starting now till the end of the season, who's going to have a better record? Oh, well, hmm, interesting. So the Vikings, I mean, the Vikings scheduled down the stretch. They got to play the cults with Jeff's, you know, Jeff's, any given Saturday.

The Giants suck, Packers, Bears. But the Lions are a better team. I could say that now. The Lions played at the Jess. that'll be a tough game. They play the Panthers. They play the Bears. They play the Bears at home. They play the Packers.

It's a similar schedule to the Vikings. It's kind of just a coin flip. Dude, give me the Lions. Well, the funniest thing. I wish, who said, I forget where I saw this, but someone's basically like if you flip all the one score games. Oh, Solic mentioned this in the Bill's spot. If you flip the one score games, the Vikings coming into this game where, you know,

one in 10, or sorry, or two in 10, because all the games they won were by one score, but if you just think of it as, you know, more or less kind of lucky and random. And I don't know, you saw that today. The Vikings, I'm sorry, Vikings fans. It's not fun when the entire national media is like, you suck and then you do. And I remember vividly, like, late stage Eli and everyone's like, Eli's awful. I'm like, no, you're not. And then like three years later, I was like, yeah, they were right.

But like, so I don't mean to victory lap. However, they're not good. Dude, I think the Lions are the best team in the NFC North. I mean, I like to go back and relitigate wins and losses from the schedule earlier in the year. Like, some of the Lions' losses, like, they lost. of the Eagles by three week one. Okay, not so bad.

They lost to the Vikings by four. All right. They lost to Seattle by three. Again, not a bad team. Their last, they've won five of their last six, and the only loss in that six is the Bills by three.

Can I trial a hot take for you? My, like, hottest take I'm stewing over is NFL should probably just do the playoffs, like committee style, like college football does. Like, we should just be able at the end of the season and be like,

you know what? We're not putting the Vikings in. They should do it by, We don't care. The way I do in my fantasy league, and a lot of leagues do this, is like, so six teams make the playoffs, but only the top four make it by record. And then after that, the next two are just points. So it's kind of just making sure that the best six teams make it. That's funny, but what if it wasn't even that?

What if it was like Survivor? Like, there's a tribunal and the other teams all just vote. I'm like, you know what? We like the way you played your game. Every coach has to make their pitch in front of everybody else. Yeah, exactly. It's great. It's like Dan Campbell has to go out there and, like, make it.

And Brandon Staley has to go out, like, pitch the analytics thing to, like, all the other coaches. He's like, I kind of, like, set the fourth down trend. Like, I go for it and fourth down more than anybody. I'll make for a really fun playoff matchup. And you're watching on TV and you're like, I like Brandon Staley. And then you realize, like, the other people in the room, he loses, like, he gets, like, one vote out of the 30. And they're like, oh, no one like that. Yeah, let's just elect who makes the playoffs based on vibes.

Just the five. Speaking of vibes, dude, Brock Party. Yeah, baby. 49ers. Had the whole family thing. I feel like he won over my parents. I don't know about you. I mean, my dad's a born and raised diehard Niner fans.

So I'm getting a lot of purdy love in my text groups today. All my friends are Niners fans. It's a whole thing. The Niners, there's something weird about Niners fans and their quarterbacks. It feels different than any other fan base. I don't know what it is. But like, I think it's like the Shannon. It's the Joe Montana Steve Young thing.

It's like, it's the inherited privilege that fan bases who had a good transition go. because the Niners fans have it with Montana to Steve Young Packers fans have it with the FARV to Rogers and then like Colts fans were going to have it and then luck didn't work out but like the fans where the transition went perfectly have this like air about them

that it's weird that we don't have a good good good way well it's just like you know there's those friends who just like are always lucky it feels like the Niners at quarterback it just doesn't fucking matter who gets in they're like oh Nick Mullins just like puts up the most yards in his first 16 games than anybody ever

except for Patrick Mahomes. And they're like, all right, Nick Mullins. And then it's like, Jimmy G. comes in and he's like, goes to,

almost goes to two Super Bowls. Brock Purdy is literally the last player taken in the draft this year. And he's like very serviceable and looks just, he looks exactly like Jimmy G. practically. He's like super fired up.

He already looks like a nineer for life. The real answer is that they hired Bill Walsh and then Carl Shannon's the next Bill Walsh. Yeah, it's a hundred percent shannahan being a mastermind. But it's like, it's just like fucking annoying that all these Niners quarterbacks just plug and play.

On that note, Brock Purdy, only players in NFL history to throw at least two touchdown passes and run for a touchdown in the first half of their first career start are Brock Purdy and someone from 50 years ago named Don Strock. God, this is like another close box situation. Which is not quite, it's not quite close box, but Don Strach. I'm telling you, dude, people just aren't named that shit anymore. No one's, no one names their kid Don Strach now. Don Strach from Potsdown, Pennsylvania. He's alive. He's alive.

He's alive kicking. Good for this guy. Don Joe Strock is his name. Fifth Round Pick. I'm sure. Can I ask you a question? I have a really important question. Please.

Brock Purdy. Good or bad name. Brock is like the... Brock is like... It's like stereotypical... Like three quarters... Like bro douchebag 90s rom-com villain name. He's like three quarters of the way to it, Chad.

I think Brock's else. up there. Top five duchess names, Brock. Easy. Hunter is number one. I don't think it's Hunter, but... You don't think Hunter's the Dishist name? I know Hunter and he's, it's not his vibe at all. I know Hunter. I'll call Hunter right now. Hunter's a huge dude. Hunter's the biggest douche. Your Hunter's a douchebler. My Hunter's a sweetheart. Hunter's number one. I was trying to think of like sitcom, like not sitcom, like movie villain names, like teen movie villains. But I'm saying, you don't have to name him now. If you, if you were writing a script now and you wanted to do like your beloved super bad, but like for right now, I feel like,

Like, if you wanted the guy you didn't like, he would be named Hunter. Brock is not a bad one. Chad Brad. Chad is Chad. Yeah. Chad's like the male Karen. I don't know. Purdy?

Purdy's not great. It's funny, though. So it kind of works. Like people like saying his name. It's not a good name, but it's fun to say. I was going to say because he was the last pick in the draft. Everyone knows Mr. Irrelevant. He was like, you know, Mr. Irrelevant.

And then now the nickname, if you haven't heard, that's come out is I guess everyone in the 49ers locker room just calls him big cock, Brock. That's great. It's like big. Dick Nick, but elevated. Has anyone have a better nickname come up than Mr. Irrelevant to Big Cock Brock in basically like 48 hours? Like what an incredible glow up for your nickname.

Maybe as a parent the best move is to just name your son something that rhymes with like an adjective for a penis or for like a nickname of a penis. Because then if he's awesome, you got big dick neck, you got Big Cock Brock. You can't lose. Name your kid something that rhymes with Dick, Cock, Johnson. I guess you just name a kid Johnson. What about, you know, all the ways that that's not good? What about like being, you remember what it was like to be 11?

Yeah, but what do you think they were calling him? Like Littlecock, Brock when he was... Yeah, small. Small Dick, Nick. I don't know. I don't think people are doing that with the name Nick. You know, actually, my name was going to be Peter. And then my dad was like, what if people make fun of him? Because, like, his name's Peter.

But then that as a euphemism for penis went out of style and it's not really a thing anymore. Peter, isn't it like Irish for penis? I don't know the origin, but like, I feel like it's just not a thing. more. Like it was that and Dick, but the Dick has stayed, whereas Peter did not. Maybe I'm out of touch with the kids these days, but like, if there's a kid named Nick at school, are people really making the dick joke? I got to tell you, this is where we're missing D.K. This is the moment where I'm just like, damn, D.K. would have such thoughts on what old names for P. Are kids sitting there in fifth grade? And on the first day of school, they're like,

all right, everybody, this is like, oh, this guy's screwed. We're going to call him Dick for the next year. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, that's exactly how 11-year-olds think. That's how all the kids named Brock and Hunter think. Okay. Maybe you're right. Should we give him a new nickname? What's better than Big Cock Brock? Do you have any?

Well, I don't know if I could beat Big Cock Brock, but I mean, I have plenty. They're not all better than Big Croc Brock Brock, but I mean, I have other nicknals. All right. What do you got? I mean, Brock Star. That's not bad. What about Brock Hard? Brockett, man.

Dwayne the Brock Johnson? I had that one, too. He beats the Eagles of the playoffs. He's Brocky. Quarter Brock. Brock Obama. But Nick Bosa likes him. Crocodile Dundee.

Brock Choy. Brockham Sockham robots. New Brockney. Brock joy. Sorry, that just hit. How is that cool? How does that make you seem cool? Brock Choy's a vegetable?

I don't know. Kai, our producer, Chew Broca. That's good. Brockton loaded? He doesn't look like is any hair. Brock Purdy is the... Brocky top. Purdy woman?

Brock and roll. Okay. Out of all those, you had one good one. Well, are you done? I'm not done. You still going? Go ahead. Purdy for 30.

Oh, that's good. That's, I mean, that would literally be the name of his 30 for 30. Which at this point, I think he's already qualified for one to be made the way that people treat him. See, like, they started filming that today. Yeah, I had Dwayne the Brock John. Also, the Hurt Brocker. That's good. And then most importantly of all, Brock Don Strach.

Brock Don Strach. Brock Donstruck. Brock, come to us. We'll be your PR team. We've got a lot of ideas over here. Duane the Brock Johnson. We'll get you in an action movie with him. Come on.

All right. Probably enough of that. Waka, Braca, Flame. Waka. You've seen that video of Waka Flaka doing the song where he's just like, Waka, walka, walka. But have you seen... Bow, bow, bow, bow.

Bow, bow. Yeah, dude. I love that guy. Bow, bow, bow, bow. bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow. That's the best, that was the best era of just, like, pop rap. Dude's like, like, Waka Flaka, just cranking out songs like no hands. It was, like, made for, like, high school proms.

It's the best. Burnbook. I got one. Locked and loaded. Do you? Oh, yeah. Who do you got? Gabe Davis.

Mine's Mike Evans. Yeah, yeah. Type in Mike Evans right now. Look at his last five games. it's a disaster. I don't know what you do. I honestly don't. I feel bad for anybody who has Mike Evans.

I have no advice. Real talk. D.K. texted me in a moment of weakness on before Monday. I'm outing him on Monday night football and was like, I need like nine points.

Do I play Mike Evans or Rashad White with Marshall and Latimore not playing the game? I was like, come on, man. You got to play Mike White. I was saying Mike White. If only he could do the White Lotus,

but Mike Evans. And then like three quarters went by and I just texted him. I'm so sorry. going to lose and then he ended up getting it. Mike Evans, oh my God. So he hasn't had 60 yards since week eight. Oh, my God. Dude, it's bleak. So he's, oh my God. Oh, my God. My heart just skipped a beat. If you just, if I just like look at since week eight, this is exactly what Deonti Johnson's page looked like. Five for 50, two for 31. I'm like, this is Deontay Johnson. And then with every

game, there's an asterisk and it says 67 yard touchdown called back. He's been worse than Gabe Dave. He's had like two Evan Engrams of games. Yeah. Oh, you're right. Wow, he is like Gabe Dave. But wait, he's Mike Evans. He's Gabe Dave, but if Gabe Dave couldn't be benched, he'd be Mike Evans. We haven't burned a single buck this year, which feels impossible.

We need to burn a buck. Yeah, you're right. Let's burn Mike Evans. Dude. Wow, I'm down. All right, we can burn Mike Evans. Holy cow. Yeah, he's been so bad.

Remember in like August when it was so intriguing because we thought God when we'd be back for a while and we're like, oh. Turns out every player on the bucks is. been a disappointment. They're playing Cincinnati next week. I don't know. I don't know. Oh, my God. Mike Evans on the entire season has, he's played one fewer game, but almost the same exact amount of points as T.J. Hawkinson. He has seven more points than Curtis Samuel. The last six weeks, I bet you he's not a top 60 wide receiver. Do week nine to now. Since week nine, oh my God. Top 70? Like, where is he? Since he is, it's a good call. He is 67th since week

nine, Mike Evans, since week, fewer points than Trent Sherfield, fewer points than Marquis Goodwin, and Marquis Goodwin has one fewer game than Mike Evans. Mike Evans has basically been Noah Fant in the last month. He has less points than Julio Jones, who's his teammate. I feel so bad for all the people who drafts. The famous, he has fewer points than Kate Otten. Oh my, he's fewer points than Isaiah Hodgins, who I keep. This is a bad faith because he should have touchdowns.

But anyway, all right, yeah, Mike, I haven't shared the bird book. See you. Oh, my goodness. All right, Pete. All right, wait. Can I end this on an email? Sure. Got an email from Michael.

I wanted to email about my family's confidence pool where we rank all the NFL games each week on a scale of one to 16. And then, you know, 16 being the most confident. Oh, yeah. I used to do this. Correct. Yeah. Exactly. So, you know, you're 16, you know, get 16 points if it's right, et cetera, et cetera.

In addition to me, my mom, my dad. my dad, my brother, my wife all participating. We also put one in for our cat every week. And the cat picks, of course, the cat teams. And then, you know, there's also a hierarchy. If there's no cat teams involved, we pick a bird team. If there's no bird team or cats, we pick the fish team, et cetera, then just other animals. The cat has won the family pool for the last seven consecutive weeks.

I thought they were letting the cat choose by, like, putting, you know, a cup on one side of the room and a ball on the other and whichever way it goes that's how it picks a team. So they're just picking the teams they think the cat would pick. It's literally like March Madness when someone's like,

I just picked the cat mascots and they won. Like, oh, there's no cat in this. I'll just pick the dog. It's like that, or I guess they don't pick the dogs. I don't know. But like I...

That is astounding and really saddening, to be honest, because it really makes... Every time you hear one of these stats, you're like none of this is worth anything. All, everything we're doing is fake.

Wow. Well, you know, know what, that's a really good nihilistic ending here without DK. Maybe we'll get that cat to host next time when DK's out because he seems smarter than all of us. Just do cats. All right. All right. Thank you, Craig.

Thank you, Kai, for production help. That's bad. Super Troopers? Yeah. It was Super Troopers reference. It wasn't like meow in isolation is not a good joke, but like the Supertroopers reference. Okay. I missed that.

It went over my head. Thank you, Lauren. Lauren. Oh, now what? Me or you? Oh my God, he's not here. What? Oh, my God.

Kai, do you want to, Kai, Slack us one. Kai, Slack us a band. And if you don't, I'm going to say Waka Flaka Flame. Thank you, Waka Flaka. Kai has not responded. It might be Waka Flaka's moment. Oh, Kai says Waka Flaka. No hands.

One of the all-time greats from the early 2010s. And when did that song come out? around there. An absolute heater. That was back into like Waka Flaka Floraida, Wiz Khalifa. Everybody was just like making party rap. Great time. It's great time to be like 17 and an idiot. A Waka Flaka concert was the first time I ever like saw a mosh pit. You went to Waka Flaka? It was like a festival. And then I went to the Waka Flaka. And first of all, easily the most drunk I have ever seen a person performing on a stage. It was unbelievable. That's awesome. It's one thing to hear about Mosh Pits as a concept, and I'm not

gonna lie, I don't think I really got it until I saw it. Kind of terrifying. I have no interest in the Mosh Pit scene. Horrible. I was like, what is the super bad line? You've never seen Mosh Pit on its own? Not for me. Not for me. Shouts out in No Hands. What a song. Goodbye, everyone.