The Ringer NFL Show - Week 2 Matchups, Must-Starts, and Must-Benches

Episode Date: September 16, 2022

We preview the Week 2 fantasy slate with categories including The Hot Tub Club (a.k.a. the players with injury concerns), Sunday Scaries, The 'Family Guy' Mystery Box, The Matthew McConaughey, The George Costanza Theory, and the players above and below The Danny Amendoza Line heading into the weekend. Check out our Week 2 Fantasy Football Rankings for this week's positional rankings and more! Email us! [e-mail]. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Producer: Craig Horlbeck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Join the fun and follow the ringer's Philly special now on Spotify. Ringer Fantasy Football Show. My name is Danny Hutz. I am joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Rollback. It is week two. We're going through our vibes, our feelings entering the second week of the season. If you are wondering who to start, who to sit, everything, who to play in your lineups. We have our rankings are up for week two at fantasyf football.

Dot the ringer.com. So go to fantasyf football. The ringer.com. We have our lineups. We've got half ppr scoring, full PPR standard. Superflex rankings. You can click on all the little positions, and you can see just the positions. you can combine positions.

If you want to see running backs and receivers in Ted Ed and so you can do whatever you want there. Fantasy Football.3 or check that out. Okay. We're recording this Thursday afternoon. So we have not seen Thursday night football. We're not going to talk about Thursday of football. Probably a great game. We're going into week two, DK.

Yo. We're going to go through all this in categories. Do you want to start us out with a little hot tub club and take us through the injuries going into this week? Yeah, if you remember from last week, we are doing the arrest development, literal doctor. Terrible at explaining very serious news to families about their, uh, but their loved ones. This first section is called It Looks Like He's Dead.

And these are injured players that... He looks like he's dead. He just looks dead. He's fine, but he looks dead. It looks like he's dead. He's covered in blue paint. Looks like he's dead. Oh, my God.

Oh, little guy. The tears aren't coming. The tears just aren't coming. Just to be clear, it looks like he's dead or he is dead. It just looks like he's dead. He's got like blue paint on him or something. But he's going to be fine.

This is the... basically the entire Tampa Bay Buccaneers offense. I don't know what the hell is going on with them, but there is a laundry list of players that we need to kind of like pay attention to going into the weekend. The 45-year-old guy in the team is the only one that's healthy. He's good. The guy who looks like sunken and his face just has just changed like a just too much from plastic surgery. All the 25-year-olds, all the people who could be his son are injured. Yeah. So starting out with Godwin, Chris Godwin, he got hurt again last week, which was predictable. They tried to rush him back. it was really annoying. He strained his hamstring. He did not play on Wednesday or Thursday at practice,

so he is probably going to be out, almost likely, almost surely going to be out. Julio Jones has a knee injury. He did not participate in practice Wednesday or Thursday. Julio doesn't practice a lot. I think it's kind of like one thing we've learned over the last few years. So I would monitor this and kind of just see how it goes. Unfortunately, though, Mike Evans was a limited participant on Wednesday with a calf injury, did not practice on Thursday. So that's going in the wrong direction. Russell Gage, he was a did not participate on Wednesday return to practice Thursday This is their top four receivers

Yes also Leonard Fornett Limited in practice on Wednesday and Thursday So basically Brady didn't play on practice on Wednesday Maybe the bucks just don't like practicing on Wednesday Well Brady's like why if these guys are out Why should I play? So Fornett's probably fine right If you're getting in limited practice on Thursday you're going to play Like that's just how it is

But yes are you so if Godwin's probably out Evans are they're probably going to play like Julio seems like a coin flip I mean, yeah, like honestly, I have no idea what to think about Julio. Like, obviously not practicing is a little bit of an alarm. Evans going from Limited to did not participate on Thursday is not great. Although it could just be, again, the way that teams do it sometimes is like, you know, go out there practice, see how it reacts, give you a rest day, that won't go back out on Friday.

I think the bottom line is basically you just have to monitor this entire Buccaneers offense. I would say the one certainty here is Chris Godwin is almost surely not going to play. But are you going to play any of these guys if they're in? I would play Fournette and Evans if they're in. I would say Julio being hurt is enough of a red flag to me. Like, I would probably just look somewhere else? What if Godwin and Julio are out and Evans and Russell Gage play? Would you play Russell Gage?

I mean, I don't know, borderline. You got to. I think you'd have to. If you can get the second receiver on the bucks, especially in a game where Marshawn Latimore is going to be lining up against Mike Evans, you probably would play Russell Cage. There you go. In my opinion, in my humble opinion.

That's a good way of putting it. There's also Brasad Perryman, Scotty Miller. Well, Scotty. Scotty doesn't know. I know. Forgot he was still in the bucks, to be honest. He had his little 15 minutes of fame, didn't he last year? He sure did. Keep rolling here. Hot Tub Club, D.K.

All right, so the rest of this category, it looks like he's dead. These are players that are not going to be playing, and it's notable for mostly just like their teammates reasons. Damien Williams for the Falcons running back. He's probably not going to play. He didn't participate in practice on Wednesday or Thursday. That's really good news. for Cordero Patterson.

Makes me more confident in starting Cordero Patterson this weekend. KJ. Hamler didn't practice on Wednesday or Thursday. I think that probably bodes well for Judy and Sutton in terms of just like their target rate

being concentrated. And then Wondell Robinson for the Giants did not participate in practice on Thursday or on Wednesday or Thursday. So he's unlikely to play. It's going to be a smorgasborg of receivers for the Giants again, probably just not Cadarius Tony.

We'll get to him. God, this guy. All right. Next up, he's going to be all right. How's my son? He's going to be all right. Oh, my God. Finally, some good news for this guy. There's no other way to take that.

That's a great attitude. I've got to tell you, if I was getting this news, I don't know that I'd take it this well. But you said he was all right. Yes, he's lost his left hand, so he's going to be all right. You, son of a bitch. I hate this. These are players that we have no fucking clue what they're going to do this weekend. Basically, we just don't know enough information.

right now as of Thursday afternoon. T. Higgins for the Bengals is in concussion protocol, and then today he missed practice for personal reasons, so we're going to have to wait and see on that. DeAndre Swift has an ankle injury, did not participate in practice Wednesday or Thursday. However, he has told the media that he plans on playing. So I don't know how much you can trust players.

Typically, they're more confident in their own ability to kind of get back than, you know, like doctors or whatever. Can you imagine if they were less confident? Well, some guys are pretty honest, I think. Some guys know their body's better than other. but I would just monitor this up until Saturday and see what's going on. I definitely would play Swift if he's healthy.

Same with Higgins. In the same line of thought, Michael Pittman. This one was kind of surprising. He was a limited participant on Wednesday and then he was not spotted at practice on Thursday. So trending in potentially the wrong direction. Also, Alec Pierce has a concussion.

And he's in the protocol. So we don't really know who's going to be catching passes for the Colts this weekend. So that is another big thing to monitor as we're going into the weekend. three saints, three important saints on the injury report this week that we have to monitor. James Winston quarterback was limited on both Wednesday and Thursday. He has a back injury.

The only reason I put him on there, he's probably going to play, but back injuries are just not good, like, typically speaking. I think back injuries speak to you as a father in your life. I know, I'm like, my back hurts right now. And so going out and playing a football game, trying to torque my body and throw, I don't know, it's tough. And then the running back group, Michael, Mark Ingram and Alvin Camara, Camara, in particular, did not participate in practice on Thursday with a rib injury after being limited on Wednesday. I mean, I think he's going to play. Like if I had to guess right now, I would say Camara plays.

But it is a little bit concerning that he got downgraded to did not participate. I think I saw that just now. And then a couple more guys. George Kittle for the 49ers did not participate on Wednesday. I don't think I've seen the 49ers West Coast practice report quite yet today. But, you know, this is another guy that he could go. He could not practice until like Friday. and still play.

So he's just one of those players. You have to check on Sunday. The scary thing about Kittle is that he tried to play last week. And he has this groin injury that he probably needs four weeks to fully recover from. But he seems to not want to do that. And maybe the Niners now having lost, want to get him back. They're going to like hold him back, man. I know.

Kittle, I think if you play him, there is fear of an in-season, you know, I'm sorry, an in-game re-injury and he'll have to leave. This is a very important note. All these guys you've mentioned so far, D.K., I think are you, if you, they are playing on Sunday, you have to play them and don't think twice. T. Higgins, Dianjo Swift, Michael Pittman, Alvin Camara. All those guys, if they play, you play them.

Is George Kittle also like that? Like, if George Kittle is actually active, would you start him automatically? Yes, because the tight-end position is just a fucking wasteland. Right. It's like, who else do you have on your team? I guess if you have somebody who's like a Dalton Schultz, I doubt you have both those guys, then you could play Adolton Shultz and play it safe. But if you have like a David and Joku or someone even deeper than that,

a Robert Tanya. You probably got to play Kittle. Agreed. And then one final note here for just the injured players we're not really sure about. Pier Strong running back from the Patriots. Not a guy we typically talk about a whole lot. But with Ty Montgomery going on to the injured reserve this week,

all eyes are on the Patriots backfield and how this kind of like breaks out. If it's Ramadre and Damian Harris in a two-man backfield where they're splitting reps and it's, you know, generally speaking, even or whatever with those two guys, you can play both of those players. The problem, of course, was that Ty Montgomery was coming in and vulturing snaps from both of them last week, and it makes all three of them basically unplayable. So bottom line, if this is a two-man rotation in the Patriots backfield, I'm much more confident starting either Romandre or Damien Harris in my flex spot just because they're going to get more volume.

So I think watching what happens with Pierre Strong is, like, quietly kind of important going into the weekend. If he doesn't play, if he does not practicing Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or sorry, if he's not practicing Thursday and Friday, it's a good sign that we're going to get a two-man backfield for the Patriots. And I would say Pierre Strong is more important for Ramandre Stevenson managers than Damien Harris. Damien Harris seems to have first and second down lockdown. But it's the third down role that Ty Montgomery operated.

I think he played all but one third down time Montgomery. So that seems to be what Remandre Stevenson would do if Pierre Strong didn't play. So I would say Pierre Strong doesn't play, Ramandre gets a bigger tick up than Harris. Yeah, agreed. Final category, and I'll breeze through these. We've removed the hook and there's been no damage. These are injured players that were confident, or at least they're trending towards playing this weekend. Zacherts was a

was back in practice on Thursday. He played last week. I think they're probably just given him the veteran treatment. He'll probably play. J.K. Dobbins, running back for the Ravens, might make his debut. This week. He was a full participant on Wednesday and Thursday, so that's looking really good for him. Alan Zard for the Packers was limited on Wednesday and Thursday. That's looking good for him playing. It sounds like he's going to play

and might get a good amount of volume in this passing game after some of the comments you heard from Aaron Rogers this week about some of these young receivers. The frustration is starting to bubble up a little bit, I think, for Rogers. So he's going to get his guy back. And then Mack Jones, I put him in this category. I maybe should have put him in the one where I just don't really know, but he had a back injury this last weekend.

It looked like he was trending in the right direction. And then he got sick on Thursday and did not go to practice. It doesn't sound like it's COVID related, but he is going to be a guy that if he's healthy or if he gets over this little sickness, he'll play, I think, because of the back injury. But we need to make sure that he gets healthy enough to play. Last two, Najee Harris was full on Thursday. He's going to play.

I can't believe that he's just fine now. I know. It looked so bad. This is like typical the Steelers. Once again, your theory, he was writhing around on the floor in pain. I thought he tore a ligament in his ankle and he's fine. Craig literally texted us at the time. He's like, oh, Najee's done.

He's writhing. He's in pain. Everybody on the Steelers falls down like a bag of doorknobs on every other play. I'm so gun-shy now. I know. So he's fine. I guess, but whatever. Like, the other thing I think that's interesting, just a note on Harris, is there was some talk in the media.

The Steelers beat reporters this week. We're talking about how basically they don't want to utilize Najee Harris quite as much as they did last year. Like, Najee himself admitted that it's such a violent position, such a violent sport. Like, he doesn't want to play as many snaps as he played last year. Is it because he sprained his foot? Yes, probably partly due to that. And so, I mean, if you picked up Jalen Warren, he's not, he's definitely not like startable this weekend. But, you know, in deeper leagues, he might have some flexible if they start playing him a little bit more and using him in the passing game and getting nausea off the field, turning this into more of a two-man backfield.

Because typically the reason we loved Harris so much is it was like he was getting like 90% of the snaps. That might not be the case this year anymore. And then one of the final note, Kenneth Walker for the Seahawks, sounds like he's going to play. So that's exciting. All right. So that was Hot Tub Club. We're getting into the categories here for Sunday. first up, the only one that matters.

Sunday Scaries, everyone knows the feeling of being a little scared on Sunday. But with fantasy, it happens all the freaking time, and I just looking at these games, I, the Sunday Scaries, nothing hit me like Dallas, man. If you're a Dallas Cowboys fan, if you're probably getting Sunday Scaries all season. Like, if you have CD Lamb,

I don't know how you're not getting Sunday scary, Zeeke Elliott, Tony Pollard. This is like the Sunday before taking the SATs, if you are Dallas Cowboys manager. God speed. job. Just nervous. Just godspeed, if you have any of the cowboys in your team or worse, if you have the Cowboys in your actual life.

Wait, can we play Amendoza line here with the Dallas guys? Like, who is above and below this line in your opinion? So, yeah, and again, just to explain, I mean, Mendoza line, baseball, Mendoza line, are you hitting above or below 200, which is bad? But, you know, the, you know, the shortest you can be to ride the ride. And then we did Danny Amindola for, like, the flex. So the Amendoza line is the line we're using just side of your flex player.

So it's like nine? half ppr points or something like that Did they get to nine? Could they get to eight and a half? Ten? Call it ten? No, it needs to be like, well, they'll get, they can get ten and you wouldn't blink an eye. Okay.

I mean, if they get ten, I'm like excited. I think it should be a little lower personally. Like, you just don't want, you don't want like anything less than seven and a half. The only difference is, it's like the advertising thing. It's like, $19.99, there's 20 bucks. Like, seeing 10 is just like, wow, that's such a better game. That's a good game.

Yeah. All right, fine. So 9.9. Yeah. Okay, yeah. 9.9. That's funny. CD Lamb is above the Mendoza line.

Yeah, but you're terrified that he'll be. Like, you're terrified that, like, I guess I've never been more afraid that like a receiver drafted for some people at the end of the first round

will just get two catches for 12 yards and you could just see it coming. Right in front of you. This could be one of the bigger disasters in top 7 ADP wide receiver history. Let's, let it play out. Let's let it play out a little.

But you're right. God, it sucks. Is this not the power hour? Is this not the overreaction power hour? Oh, that was, okay. There's a funny, so if you rank every quarterback by, like, best quarterback stat we have these days is EPA per play, expected points added per play.

If you rank every quarterback from last week, Dak Prescott was second to last. You know who last was? Who? Cooper Rush coming into replace Dak. Those were the last two players. So it's like, what I don't, this is going to be terrifying. So it's like,

Tony Pollard is unplayable. I think Tony Pollard's below the line. I know. It sucks. All of our favorite sleeper is like now I'm just, I'm keeping them on my bench. I think Zika is above the Mendoza line, but you also can totally bench,

like you can play him at flex, obviously, but like that's it. Like if you want to bench Zique this week, it's fine with me. Yeah, he had like five, he had like five points last week.

Exactly. It's like, this is all disaster. I think the cowboy is going to be a disaster. So the only person that I'm confidently starting would be Dalton Schultz. That's where we are. we're excited about Dalton Schultz.

CD are not confidently starting. Yeah, but you were not excited about either of these guys. No. Shultz will be all right just because tight ends bad. But anyway, that's, yeah, so I'm scared for the Cowboys. DK, who's your Sunday scary? So I'm kind of nervous about the Cardinals, just in general. Like, their offense looked a little bit, I don't know, just out of sake.

A little bit awful. Yes, okay. Thank you for saying it more strongly. Kyler was not sharp. He finished as a QB 13. Like, for a guy like Kyler, that people were drafting as the QE3, four, depending on what draft you were in.

But it was garbage time. It was 37 to 7 in the third quarter, and the Chiefs kind of took their players out. Well, garbage time points do count. Like, this is a big reason we loved Jalen Hertz last year. And so like... It's still bad, though. It's still scary to me.

And I was going through the different skill position players for the Cardinals last week against the Chiefs. James Connor, 10 rushes for 26 yards, five catches for 29 yards. Like, that is... awful efficiency. He did score a touchdown, salvaged the day, RV17. Marquise Brown, four catches, 43 yards, and a touchdown.

Wide receiver 26, not what you want to see. Zach Earts, two catches, 14 yards, touchdown, tied in 11. Basically, all these skill players, they salvaged terrible, what would have been really ugly days by scoring touchdowns and garbage time. James Conner's touchdown came early in the game, so I guess that doesn't really count. But the past catchers in this offense, like, I don't know, the volume wasn't there what you want to see, the explosiveness wasn't there, and they salvaged them with touchdowns,

but that doesn't feel super repeatable. So I'm just kind of worried going into this week. These are players that I was pretty psyched about coming into the year, and now I'm nervous about it. It's kind of the same deal with CD Lamb, too. I'm like, they're in the same vein. I'm like, I'm no longer excited about these guys. The difference is you have to, you're playing Kyler

if you have them. You're playing James Conner if you have, I would never, I would not betch James Conner this week. No, you can't bench him. And you're playing Marquis Brown as well. And honestly, Zach Kurtz. playing all these guys. You just got to hope they don't suck. Yeah. Yeah, I understand the Sunday Scaries vibe, but I think you got it. A decent matchup with Vegas here, and Marquise is still, you know, he got, he scored a touchdown

last week. He got a couple of deep balls. Like, he's still getting those, those looks. Got to hope, I just hope Kyler looks sharper, that's all. My Sunday Scary is the Pittsburgh Steelers. It pains me to say that. They practically played five quarters against the Bengals last week, and in those five quarters, Trubisky had 194 yards. The highest receiver was Pat Fryer, Moose at 75. He looked good. But other than that, Deontay Johnson had 55 yards at five quarters. Claypool at 54. Pickinson at three. Zach Gentry, the backup tight end at 40. Nodgy's got his foot. But do you want a great stat on your point? Steelers played five quarters? But despite that in week one,

the Steelers had the least amount of receiving yards for their wide receivers in the NFL, despite having five quarters. It's absolutely, this offense, I'm formulating a take that Matt Canada is not a good offensive play caller. but we'll see. I'm going to let that marinate. Stephen Rui's and Ben Solac are way ahead again that one. Yeah, so this offense doesn't look that different from last year, to be honest. And I think this game, specifically, this game against the Patriots this week, one, the Patriots have the Steelers number. They've dominated them

for the last decade. This game is going to be incredibly slow. The paths are slow. Every single Steeler is a risk for me this week. I don't know. I think M. Mendoza line, Deontay Johnson, and Friarmouth are the only two that are above it. I guess Naji if he plays, but that still scares me. The Steelers had the third fewest plays of at least 10 yards last week. They're just not producing explosive plays, and they're a boring offense.

I was trying to pull up a tweet because I saw Hayden Winks and Bill Barnmore talk about this the other day. I'll read the tweet. Hayden Winks, Trubisky averaged 3.5 yards per dropback if you remove the 31-yard flea-flicker to Pat Friar Ruth and the 32-yard tight-end screen to Zach Gentry. And then Barnwell adds, he had four big plays total. And we're talking about Trubisky. A flea flicker, a tight end screen, a preposterous one-handed catch by Deonti Johnson on a back-shoulder attempt that wasn't meant to be back-shoulder. And a free play throw against his body to the middle of the field. Yeah, to fry it.

I did think Kenny Pickett would be third in the quarterback death chart this season. But now that he's second, they need to start playing Kenny Pickett immediately. Mr. Chubisky is so bad. We're already out. We're done. But I will say the reason I thought they might not play Kenny. Pickett is alive, which is that the offensive line is so bad that I think that they were a little concern that it would like stunt Pickett's development if he just tries to go out in the fire

behind such a horrible offensive line. It's kind of like what the Jets did at Mark Sanchez. You get such bad habits. But having said that, I mean, if I have one regret from our Kenny Pickett argument, it's like the perception that I was like on Mr. Trubisky's side. I don't think there's an NFL player I've been harder on over the last five years the Mitchell Trubisky. And this game was like a giant reminder of why.

Like he's, I mean, he's literally Derek Zoolander. He can't throw to his left. and it's abominable to the list you just said in five years. So this is this is a very, I mean, put it this way, the Steelers getting five turnovers and almost losing is preposterous. Yeah. I think it's, isn't it really funny when you accidentally get on the wrong side of an argument? Like, I don't even feel this way.

Like, I'm not even against picket. You know what's funny? I like Tyler Conklin. We had that whole argument. I have him in two dynast. I like Tyler Conklin. I love that. I love that.

All right. Well, while we're on dumb arguments, there's a couple. I like dumb storylines that I actually believe. And you know what I mean? Like every weekend there's like a dumb thing and you're like going in and you're like, but this thing that is overrated,

but what if it's true? And there's two of these things. The Buck Saints game has two of these. It's like the best cornerback, wide receiver beef, shadow, like matchup. It's like the two best in the league. So Mike Evans,

Marshawn Lattimore is like the best one running. And I mean, Mike Evans has nine catches for 130 yards against Marshawn Lattimore in his last five games. Like Mike Evans is averaging two catches for 26 yards. Two catches for 26 yards is an average last five games. Now, and it's weird because like it's also little like shades of the kombucha girl

where it's like, but well, well, and it's like, well, he's going that. But also if Chris Godwin's out, Mike Evans is like, it's like all,

you know, usually gets like 30, 50% boost to all his numbers. Godwin's out. Then the flip side, underrated, is, that might not be the best

receiver cornerback be for the game because you've also got Michael Thomas, low-key, one of the pettiest people in the entire NFL, is going against Carlton Davis. High key. Everyone knows it. Here's the thing.

If you ever, Michael Thomas, first of all, Twitter handle, can't guard Mike. It's a great Twitter handle, objectively good. It is the best Twitter handle. Can't guard Mike. Two, I realized,

if you just, followed Michael Thomas's Twitter during when the last dance was airing in the pandemic. He just like thinks he's Michael Jordan, straight up. Three, I am convinced Michael Thomas reads his Twitter mentions more than any player in the NFL. Oh, and the NFL, sure. I was going to say

Kevin Durant. Would I have a word? Oh, well, no one can compete with Kevin. I'm saying Michael Thomas, I bet if an NFL player had a burner, I would bet it would be Michael Thomas. If you put a gun in my head. We should find it. Oh, this is a fun idea. I'm not saying he has one. I'm saying if if a player, if a prominent player had one,

like a guy who's been an all pro had one, I bet it would be Michael Thomas. Yeah, but isn't he already, he's in people's hats already. Like, he's already answering people with his own account. The only reason why I don't think he has a burner is because he just uses his, his verified account. He's like,

what's the point of a burner? Because he has no shame. Carlton Davis, who's one of the bucks cornerbacks. And mind you, this is like a rivalry. Like the saints have rocked the, the bucks.

Carlton Davis added Michael Thomas last, this was 18 months ago. He said, I bodied you three games in a row, little dude, in cover one. Goofball, space exclamation point. And I'm a dog you a little ass again next year, so you better work on them routes. Can I say one thing about this? Please.

I think calling a dude Lil or small or little, as petty as it may sound, is actually one of the most effective and emasculating ways. To insult a man. You called him a goofball. I was reading this Wall Street. Was there a Wall Street Journal article? something this morning I was reading about all these men in the pandemic like really rich dudes

but like in their 2030s were getting surgery like they break their legs and you grow them back so you can like actually add three or four inches you could get taller and so people are just reentering society but like you're four inches taller

and you just don't tell anyone or you don't mention you like are you four inches taller or like oh I'm sure it's like hey guys we all work from home now all right no one knows how tall you are it's okay again I think you're right Craig there's no chance

Michael Thomas has forgotten that Carlton Davis called him Lil ass. Lil dude. And so combined, shot at Inhart, it's a PFF for finding this tweet. I know, again, is it stupid that I'm talking about this? Absolutely. This is a very dumb football analysis. Having said that, I genuinely think it's, like, obviously it's true. There's so much X's and O's and like schemes that go into how players get the ball.

I think it's really underrated how much of it is also ego. Like, ego is a part of it. Players ask for the ball. It's like basketball. Sometimes the guy's like, give me the fucking ball. Receivers have the attitude basketball players. If you think Michael Thomas is not demanding the ball in this game in certain situations, he got two thirds of the Saints end zone looks last week.

I am so confident. Maybe Michael Thomas catches a touchdown, maybe not, but they're going to try to get him the ball. I'm so certain of this. The last three times that Michael Thomas has faced Carlton Davis, Carlton Davis has won. Michael Thomas, in the three games they've played, has had 17 yards, 51 yards, and zero yards.

So obviously that was a long time ago. It was back in 2020, but we will see. All Michael Thomas has been doing is just watching the last dance and thinking about Carlton Davis calling him Lil Dog. He also called him Slant Boy. Yeah, he did call him Slant Boy. Is that how it started? Is he the first one to say that?

I don't think it's how it's start. No, it's kind of like a song where it's like, you know a song? like honestly the perfect one is margaritaville like like five o'clock somewhere and then people are like oh well jimmy buffets i don't think jimmy buffett invented that he just it's a saying and then you know it's like us with bobby trees yeah it's like we're like oh well we invented bobby trees i'm like if only someone like did we come up with ourselves yes did other people probably also our lives have been lived a thousand times before right a hundred percent there's no there are no original thoughts all right wait so are we starting either

Michael Thomas or Mike Evans? Oh, of course. Absolutely. Okay. You have to. But we're going to be sweating it. You can't live in fear. Okay.

I mean, you can bench Mike Evans. You're just done like a little ass dog. Well, it's important to note again that he mispracticed on Thursday. So keep that mind. Yeah. Watch the injury reports on Sunday morning. I will not be telling anyone to bench Mike Evans if he plays. Carl Davis should change his Twitter handle to can guard Mike.

That'd be good. He actually should. It's taken by a 17-year-old. in England somewhere. Actually, though, should we check right now if that handle's available? Wait. There's no way it is. I mean, we just have to check just in case.

This reminds me, speaking of, when I tweeted out the picture of our fantasy league for the ringer and everybody, except for like two people are named some version of Danny Kelly. This other random Danny Kelly just responded, hey, can I be in this league? That's really funny. There's thousands of Danny Kelly's in there. I was the first guy to change my name to Danny Kelly team. Craig, you said of that.

you son of a bitch. And I was the first one to leave. I'm now Herb. You're Herb, you fucker. Yeah, if you don't know all of our names in the Ringer League are just versions of Danny Kelly's team. Okay. Herb.

And one guy named Herb. Riley McIntyre refuses to change his name. He's like Riley's. Yeah, it's just, yeah, it's 10 people. Herb and Riley. Okay. All right, we're moving on. Start the NFL week off right with a no sweat, same game parlay every Thursday from Fandle.

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Clean. Back on horse. Did the ringer NFL show today too and just it's back to back today. Easy mind. I've started to, so I've noticed, I didn't, during the summer I didn't always listen back to our shows. I've been listening back to some of our shows. Man, the ad raise are just electric, you guys. Killing it.

Craig, even you're doing it sometimes when we forget to have high fits record them. Love it. Yeah. When Hyvitz is slacking off, I'm calling, he's on the golf course at noon on a Tuesday, and I'm like, dude,

we have to do ads. And he's like, that was only like 14 times. How come I never have to do ads? Because you guys notice, I'm just going to botch it so terribly. Batched it. You're like,

we don't have time for Danny to try to eat days. Oh, my God. Honestly, we have the rest of development. The next one of the pipeline's got to be sunny. Sunny, there's so many. Got cats in the wall.

I got to work in milksteak somehow to this show. God, Kittenden's. All right. I want to throw out there, I'm going to steal something from the rewatchables, which is, you know,

Craig, can you can explain this better than me? But you know how they say like someone got market corrected? Like an actor? Can you explain that for people who don't listen to the rewatchables? Sure.

When one actor is rising to a certain level of fame and it seems like they are going to have a prominent career in whatever niche that they kind of represent, and then another actor comes in and usurps them and steals their limelight, steals their career, steals what they could have been.

An example is Matt Damon and Kevin O'Connell. Kevin O'Connell was in the movie School Ties. He was kind of the lead actor next to Al Pacino instead of a woman. That was a highly coveted role. It was like, wow, Kevin O'Connell, this is going to be his time.

And then Matt Damon swoops in. We got Goodwill Hunting, a million other things, completely takes over the young, cute, white guy in the 90s and their 20s roles. And Kevin O'Connell, how many people know Kevin O'Connell if he walked down the street?

I mean, I'm Googling it. I mean, it's the head coach of the Vikings. Are you sure his name is Kevin O'Connell? Oh God, it might not be, and that's actually more funny. Who, yeah, Kevin, uh, Chris O'Donnell. So, so, oh my God. That actually proves the point, though, though. Yes, it does, exactly.

You don't even know. I was like, this does, that does get us not look. I was like, there's a nether guy. Football Vikings brain. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin O'Connell. Wait, what's his name? Chris O'Connell works here. Kevin O'Connell is Vikings.

Kevin O'Connor works here. Chris O'Donnell. Oh, I know who Chris O'Donnell is. Now he's just like on N-C-I-S. Exactly. Listen, not shaming Chris O'Donnell. NCAS is a great career, but it's not, it's not Matt Damon. The point is someone comes in and takes off and then you forget about the other person.

And I'm a little worried that Hunter Renfro is getting market corrected by Devante Adams. Now, I know that this isn't exactly it because Devante Adams is always better than Hunter Renfro. Well, and also, they're not, they don't occupy the same, like, role in their, in their, on their team. They're different in, like, what their expectations were. I thought of a, so I want to tweak this, which is instead of a market, it's just like a market acquisition. It's like, I, what it's, remember when Apple released the iPhone and then just rendered the Blackberry obsolete? Yeah, it's like Blackberry.

It's like, I had a Blackberry back in the day. We're like, iPhone had a camera and it's like Kodak just, oh, well, that's just ours now. And I'm like, like, they just absorbed the entirety of the market. And I'm like, that's Devante Adams and Hunter Renfro. I'm a little worried that Hunter Renfro just was absorbed into like the black like the black hole that Devante Adams created. Like you still see people with like a physical camera. Like you know people who have a camera.

You know like Hunter Renf, like you'll know people who have Hunter Renfro. But I'm a little worried that all that like Devonty got what 17 targets last week? Yeah. I mean, couldn't you say the same thing for Darren Waller? Darren, it might, I mean, used to be the guy getting 17 targets on the Raiders.

Yeah, but Waller still had a pretty good game. Yeah, but Waller's capable of like being very fantasy relevant without a massive workload. Like Waller one, just tight in so to like like, like tough. He's still like a really good athlete. I think that the injury ad was obviously about the contract. He's healthy. The difference is Hunter Renfrode needs a massive amount of targets and

catches to be relevant. He's not a big play player. Like if he's not getting a lot of targets and especially stuffed in the red zone, he's not worth it. And here's the thing. If he's ever going to have a good week, it should be this week. Like the Cardinals, if the Raiders play the Cardinals this week, I think it's the highest over under the week. Stephen Ruiz, last week, writing about the chiefs and the Cardinals had a really good point that the Cardinals for some reason just played so much base defense like they put Isaiah Simmons in the slot he's like a linebacker safety hybrid he was like we'll be slot corner did not to go well and so if Hunter

Renfro can't win as a slot receiver get Targis and Derrick Carr this week against the Cardinals I'm kind of worried he just won't be able to do it this week period or this year period and that Devante Adams will have just absorbed him. Like, Devante Adams is the iPhone. And Hunter Renfro's like Blackberry. Do you guys know that the guy who started Blackberry, when the iPhone was coming out, his team, like his software development team, his advisory group,

came to him and said, hey, we should maybe pivot to a touchscreen. And he said, no way that'll ever work, people love pressing the keys on a keyboard. Sometimes we get predictions wrong on this show or just I'm wrong. I'm in life in general. And you know what I always come back to?

What? You know, soft banks? He waits for us to say what. I don't know. Was it rhetorical or? Yes. Continue. The soft bank manages like trillions of dollars of money.

And they asked like, I think the founder of soft bank what his like favorite investment was. And he was like, oh, I only think about the failures. And they're like, well, what's your biggest failure? And he's like, well, Jeff Bezos offered me 40% of Amazon. to go to take it public in 2000. And man, I think about that every day. Oh, God.

I was like, what a whiff. That is tough. See, Mike Davis is not so bad. It's fine. It's okay. Anyway. On another note, this is, I just wanted to mention this because we were talking about Darren Waller.

There was a cool story going around on Twitter yesterday about how Waller, when he was in rehab, he was suspended in 2017 because of off-field stuff. He went to rehab and he worked an $11 an hour job. stacking produce at this place called Sprouts Farmer's Market. Oh yeah, I know Sprouts. And he signed his $51 million extension with the Raiders wearing a Sprouts t-shirt. Oh, wow, that is cool. Yeah, so that was cool.

Anyway, we can continue now. Okay, the next award here I'm giving out, it's called the Daddy Chill Award. I don't know, have you guys seen the Daddy Chill meme? No. I don't think so. Memes are two, the meme. It's pretty popular, just look it up. It's kind of hard to describe.

Daddy Chill. It's a bunch of people fighting and this old man walks in and is yelling everybody to shut up and then this one person goes up to the dad and goes, Daddy, chill. And it's great.

But the point of this award is this is about teams and fantasy players that you kind of need to chill on after week one. Like, don't get your hopes up too high. I kind of think it's the dolphins and the Ravens who happen to be playing each other this week.

They both won last week, which is why I think they qualify for this category. The Ravens put up 24 points against the Jets. And I was listening, to Warren Sharp this week, and he was talking about how disappointing the Ravens were.

They had 10 drives that started in their own territory against the Jets. Only one of them made it out of the Jets territory. Oh, wow. Three of their 12 drives gained more than one first down. Lamar ran for 17 yards. The team in general ran for three yards of carry. Yeah. The O-line is in shambles.

They lost their backup left tackle to a torn Achilles last week, which is why they were 28th in yards before contact. And they're playing the Dolvin's. Last time, Lamar played the dolphins, they put up 10 points. And Lamar has kind of been not outed, but it's now common

knowledge that Lamar against the Blitz is a problem. And that's what Miami does. And even the dolphins switching to their side, they put up 20 points last week against the Patriots. We all thought that the running game was going to be special in the Mike McDaniel-Shannahan offense. They ran for 2.8 yards of carry on 23 rushes. They had 18 first downs, 14 third downs.

2-0 was fine, better against man, bad against zone. This Ravens D is more zone heavy now with their new defensive coordinator, Mike McDonald. I just think neither of these teams, I think we're all like, oh my God, the dolphins beat the Patriots. And like the sticker value of that sounds, I'll think, a lot better than the actual game was. They put up 20 points. The Patriots are not the same team as they used to be. And really only Tyreek Hill had a good game for the dolphins. Jalen Wattle had five targets. So I think we should pump the brakes on kind of both these situations right now. I wouldn't be super bullish. I just did the ringer NFL show, Stephen Solac. And Solac was like, I mean, bet the under.

on the Dolphins. Oh, there you go. Because the Ravens defense is like perfectly situated to like just take everything. Like to it, I agree with Stephen. Stephen, Stephen's a big believer that Tewa just does not handle pressure well. And I think the Ravens are going to pressure too a lot. I agree. I think this, I think you're dead on, Craig.

I think that I think the Ravens are going to win. I like, I like the Ravens money money line parlay in this. But I think you're dead on that both these teams will probably come out looking. It's one of those like when two friends get an argument and you're like, nobody won that. Everyone's a loser. That's this game to me. Every political debate now has kind of like that.

Nobody won that. It's going to abstain from this at all. Some of them are winners. All right. The next one here, I like, I love this one. The Family Guy Mystery Box Award. I love this. Yeah, can wait, explain that one for a second.

Yeah, you did a good job of it. Well, it's a scene from Family Guy where there's being offered a boat. And then the salesman's like, but instead of a boat and he pulls out like a shoebox-sized box. He's like, you could have what's in the mystery box. And Lois is like, Peter, take the boat. And he's like, but Lois, the mystery box could be anything. It could even be a boat. Yeah, so that version is J.K. Dobbins.

Speaking of the Ravens, J.K. Dobbins, starting his first game this year. Well, I'm assuming he's going to be playing. I guess we shouldn't necessarily. Well, if he's not playing, I assume you're not talking. Yeah. Correct. Correct. I don't know.

I'm probably not going to be starting him, honestly. if I have them on a team just this week to see how it all goes. Craig, I think you're actually right. I remember last week watching the Ravens offense and at no point was I like, oh, this looks good. Like, they look like a good offense.

Like, they had, I think Lamar had like one or two big touchdown passes. And that was it. And yeah, like, that was basically all that they could muster. And like, none of their skill position guys really did much. Even Mark Andrews, I think he had like five catches. And so, like, I don't know if JK Dominance is going to be like the answer.

to what they're looking for. There's like a world in which having an explosive element on the ground in JK Dobbins helps open up this offense because they have been a foundational run game and just been cycling through a bunch of just like retread terrible like veteran running backs over last year.

You remember last year like some of the running back rotations they had last year? Like everyone was so pissed they weren't playing Tyson Williams. Or what was this name Tyson? Yeah, Tyson Williams. Yeah. He like... And Levy on Bell last year.

To be clear, everyone was. was not pissed about Tyson Williams. A very small amount of people knew that he existed. Devante Freeman they were playing. God. Yeah. And of course, this year, they go with Kenyon Drake and Mike Davis. So on one hand, the boat, potential boat is like Davids is the fix for this offense. It's like what he needs, what they need to do. And then on the other hand, he's going to rush for 2.5 yards per carry and the offense is going to look too. I wouldn't play him. I wouldn't play him. I think that the combo of what Craig's saying about the Ravens' offense looking lackluster mixed with Dobbins first game back. I mean,

he, we've known for a while that this injury was way more complicated and that his optimism to play in week one. He finally admitted this week that what the injury was, he tore like, I think aside from the complete tear of the ACL, he also like tore his hamstring. Like it was so many, it was so many recoverses. Yes, it was a crazy injury. This is why we've been out on Dobbins all year. I just can't play this guy in his first game back. I would so much rather his first game back and you bench him and he gets 100 yards and two touchdowns and you feel like an idiot. I'll live with that. If you play JK Dobbins and you're like, oh, he was on a snap count, you know, eight carries, 20 yards,

but like he's back. I'll feel personally, I'll feel much stupider if I play him and he just doesn't even play that much than if he, I bench him and he does great. Because if he does great, then cool, he's back. Yeah, it's tough, man. Wow, you're right. I hadn't seen this, but ACL, LCL, hamstring, and meniscus.

It's a nightmare. That's everything. I am not playing him until I see him at least get the majority of the snaps in a game. I will say, I think Dobbins is a rare enough athlete

and he's young enough that he could come back and be just as strong. It's just a matter of time, and I think, you know, this is still too early to really, like, be confident about it. All right.

Well, our next one here we got, if you ain't your first or last, it's Ricky Bobby. basically boom bust guys. There's a number of players that I put into this bucket, but I think D.K. Metcalf is one of them. Like, there were times during the Seahawks game against the Broncos last week where I'm like, this guy, he's still got it.

He still looks like elite. You know, he still looks like a player that could potentially turn out, like putting up more production than people even think. And if you look at like the target shares with throughout his career, so sorry, with Gino Smith, I saw this from Graham Barfield. The four games he's played with Gino Smith, his target share has been 23, 26, 27, 25. That's really strong.

Like, that's great. That's what you're hoping for. Like, 30% is elite, elite, elite. Anything in the 20s is pretty solid. If you're under 20, that's where it's like you're kind of dependent on touchdowns and things like that. However, here's the problem.

The Seahawks are determined to not play football. They're determined to run as few fucking plays as they possibly can. After leading the NFL last year and plays, they had 954 plays, which was dead last, even worse than like all the terrible teams in the NFL. Lano Falcons, Houston Texans, all ran more plays in him.

CX ran 49 plays. You know what that's like? It's like a personal pizza because like obviously, what we're talking about here is a player's target share is a slice of the offense. And you're like, cool,

D.K. Metcalf, a quarter of the pie. Then you look at the pie. Like, that's not enough to eat. Exactly. That's the fewest plays in the league. It's the smallest pizza out of all the 32 pizzas.

49 plays, which was dead last in week one among all teams. And as I tweeted this, Pat Thorman, who tracks a lot of like pace

and number of plays and things, noted that it was the only one game last year did they have fewer than 49 plays. And mind you,

the Seorks had the fewest plays in the NFL last year. Yes. It's bad. Like, this sucks. This is annoying.

But it's like also their strategy. Like they just want to shorten the game, take a bunch of, like, basically they just want to mess up.

They don't want to turn the ball. over. They want to drag opposing teams down to their level and hope to win on variance like at the end the game. Like literally exactly what happened against the Broncos where the fucking Broncos missed the field goal to lose the game. Like that's what the Seahawks want.

That's how they're going to win is by shortening the game, you know, basically not letting other teams just like put up a bunch of plays because like the more plays other teams have like in the end like the better team is going to like come out if you play more plays in general. if you play fewer plays and like really short in the game, don't mess up, like a bad team can in theory win. So I don't know. I just think, man, it's just tough for fantasy. I do think there's a world in which Metcalfe still has big games and things like that.

But he's either going to, it's either going to be like a huge game or it's going to be like five points. All right. The next one we got here is the George Costanza. I love this. This was Craig's idea. I love it so much. It's like, if every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite must be right. I want the complete opposite of two.

Tune on toast. Chicken salad on rye. Untoasted with a side of potato salad and a cup of tea. Chicken salad with a cup of tea. So I'm giving this one to Alan Robinson this week. Yeah. Like every ounce of my being is like, don't start Alan Robinson, you fucking idiot. Like, he had an absolute dud of a game in week one.

in a lot of cases, Matt Stafford was not even looking in his direction. He has a matchup this week against the Falcons where he might get shadowed by AJ Terrell, at least for part of the game. He's a very good corner. And so, like, there's just a million reasons not to start him, but maybe I'm just going to start him

because I think there's a couple of variables here. Number one, both Matt Stafford and Sean McVeigh came out after the game and said that they need to get Alan Robinson more involved. I don't know if that's necessarily like worth banking. on, but it's the squeaky wheel thing. They want to get him more involved. Like, it's going to be a focus for them. We need a way better term for squeaky wheel.

And I get the whole saying, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. That's correct. We need to be a little more specific, which is Alan Robinson was embarrassed on the internet and ever made fun of it. The only thing players want. Yeah, what's a modern one? The only thing professional athletes want more than winning is to not be embarrassed. Alan Robinson, having no catches in this game was embarrassed.

And the same way that last week, I was like, Miles Sanders will fucking get a touchdown in week one because it was very embarrassing he did that. People were asking him why don't you score? And the Eagles were like, this guy can't be embarrassed anymore. The Rams are going to force feed Robinson at least three balls, even just like a screen, whatever. Get him involved. Yeah.

I bet there's a serious chance he just gets the first catch of the game. It's just a freaking screen, Alan Robinson. The other thing that is important here is the way that the bills played the Rams, it was like they were getting immediate pressure with four guys almost every snap. allowed them to bracket Alan Robinson a lot of the time with like coverage over in his area. And essentially Matt Stafford was just like, I trust and know Cooper Cup like the back of my hand. Like I'm just going to go to him immediately. Get rid of the ball quickly.

Like in theory against a different opponent, that's not going to be just feasting up front. The Falcons have the worst pass rush in all football probably. So that's another factor that I'm like, he's going to be, he's going to have time to get back to the backside dig. He's going to have time to like get through his, his, you know, get past his first option or whatever if that's cup. and then go to Alan Robinson. So, I don't know. Every part of me is like, this is stupid, but also maybe it's the right move.

I think this is straight up cutting edge football analysis. Everybody is like, what about this or that? And I'm like, actually, you're right. Our instinct is to do this, do the opposite. Craig, what's a better name for Squeaky Wheel? Well, I'm trying to think of something with the word troll because essentially he just didn't want, you don't want to be trolled on the internet.

So I'll come back next week with something. All right. We've got to think of something. Okay, if you have an idea for a better word for squeaky wheel that involves embarrassment, emails at ringerfinacy football at gmail.com. Until then, Craig, our next category here. Yeah, our next category is called,

if you guys have seen dazed and confused, the famous Matthew McConaughey line, and he goes, that's what I love about these high school girls. I keep getting older, they stay the same age. I'm swapping out high school girls with Kyle Shanahan running backs.

It's what I love about Kyle Shanahan running backs. It doesn't matter who's playing. They're always good. And this week, it's Jeff Wilson. Welcome to school, Jeff. All right, all right. All right. Don't think about this analogy too much

because I'm not comparing myself. That's a good, that's good advice. Don't go too deep into the analogy. This is good advice twice over. Take the advice, but don't think about the advice too much. Don't read into it too much. Jeff Wilson is now our prom date. Again, don't think about it too much.

Don't worry about Terry and Davis Price and the other rookie. Don't worry about them signing Marlon Mac. Don't worry about Shanahan saying they're going to ride the hot hand. He's been saying that for five years. Joe Wilson is your daddy now and you should start him.

There are very few players other than the elite guys that I would start over Jeff Wilson. This could be Elijah Mitchell 2.0 from 2021. This could be the 2021

Elijah Mitchell situation this year. I love Jeff Wilson so irrationally. You know, when you just have a guy that just want, like,

he's just randomly just got you like two like bi-week fill-ins and he just got 140 yards and three touchdowns because he makes you feel smart. Yes. I love Jeff Wilson.

I don't know anything about Jeff Wilson. I'm like, this is what I do for my... two of them. Yes. What college did he go to? Where's he from?

Where did he come? Like, where he just, all of a sudden he was the guy that was the backup on the 49ers. Where's Tom Petty from? That's one of, this is one of these situations.

There's no wonder. I'll never know. No, we're not looking it up. And we're gonna let, we're gonna, we're not answer the question. I'm just gonna hopefully hear

and find out about it in, like, in the wild. Email us if you know anything about Jeff Wilson, but not by looking it up. If you only can learn about Jeff Wilson by looking it up,

do not email us. But if you naturally know something about Jeff Wilson, send it to us. Like, he went to my college. Like, there you go. It needs to be organic. Yeah, I agree. Ringer Fantasy FootballGiva.com.

All right. Any Danny A. Mendoza lines that he's surprising guys below the Mendoza line for you guys this week? I was surprised that Amari Cooper on the Browns is just outside of it for me.

I was tinkering with my rankings today. So he had six targets last week, right, against the Panthers. Amari Cooper. Donovan People Jones had 11. Mm. The Browns put up almost 30 points, and Amari Cooper managed three catches for 17 yards.

The Browns ran it the most in the league last week. They had the most rushing attempts in the league, the second most rushing yards. They're playing the Jets. I think they're going to win again. I'm nervous. I was like semi-in to Amari Cooper this season. And before Deshaun Watson comes back,

I feared that that was a miss by me. And this week, because you can kind of play it both ways. You can kind of talk yourself into the fact that they're playing the Jets, so they could put up a lot of points. And that's why maybe you want to play Amari Cooper. but right now my mindset is that they're going to be up early, which just means they're going to pound the rock

because they don't trust Jacoby Reset and Amari Cooper will once again have a mediocre day. Yeah, the Brissette thing is a huge factor. There was one play, I believe, he got behind the defense and could have I had the big touch up, but Prasette overthrew him. Yeah, he did. He was getting open. That was my fears. There's a whole, you can find it on Twitter.

There's like a whole video of how many times Amari Cooper was shaking defenders and getting open. Oh, man. But, I mean, they have a great offensive line and they have two of the best running backs in the league. So I'm not sure the volume is there anymore. The Browns suck. And yeah, I agree.

Craig goes through the whole great insight. Craig goes through his whole spiel, all the research. He was watching the tape. And then the Browns suck. Browns are ass. That was good. You know, I'm just telling you.

All right, let's get this to some emails. Do you want me to read this or you want to read it, Craig? I can read it. So once again, we're coming back to this dumb guy. topic. Men are dumb. Honestly, we've discovered it's a bottomless well

of men are dumb stories. Emails at ringerfinacy football at gmail.com if you and your friends or men you know are dumb. Just how stupid men are and we've been getting a bunch of emails.

This is one of my favorite themes of emails that we've received in a long time. We're just getting tons of emails from guys being like, hey, listen to a story about how stupid me and my friends are. So this is from Dante.

Dante. Dante. Dante. Dante. He says, hey guys, during senior year of college, my roommates and I started binging the show

lost. The show starts with a cold open, and then after a scene, the screen goes black, and the word lost pops onto the screen. My friends and I made a game out of being the first person to shout, Lost, right when the title card came up. It was very competitive, and we would roast each other mercilessly if we would yell a premature loss. Once my girlfriend, now wife, wife came down to visit and watch an episode with us. She saw the Lost game firsthand and looked at us like we were the most idiotic people on Earth. After explaining the premise of the game, all she could say in my, her response was, but why? This is perfect idiot dudes.

Distilled down, but why? Yeah. But why is the genre. It's literally, what's so great is there are so many things that people are emailing us where we could never have come up with this just trying to make it up. But as soon as they say it, I'm like, I get it. I totally get it. Craig said, women could do this, could watch loss for 10,000 years together.

They would never come up. this point. No. There would never be three girls going, lost. Oh, Jesse, you didn't get it. This reminds me of how people try and time to smoke weed every day. Oh, that's a great one, D.K. We used to always do that. You're always early. You're always early.

It's like a ticker. It's like a beat too late every time. On the odds that Derek Thompson is listening, Derek Thompson is an incredible podcast, a cult playing English here at the ringer. It's amazing. Great show. And got beers with Derek Thompson the other day. And I kind of want Derek Thompson to bring, shut up.

I want Thompson to come on this pod maybe and I want him to like talk about why men are like this with us. I really do. Like, why do men do these things? Do a play in English on why men are so dumb. Why are we this way? It's not a topic worthy of Derek Thompson

doing it on his show, but it's worthy enough for this show. So Derek, you want to come on for the final 10 minutes. We can talk about how stupid men are. Why are men dumb? We're so stupid. We do a full episode not of you about fantasy football. It's just the four of us. He's going to report it out.

He's going to get like the foremost expert on it. I'm going to love this. Oh my God. The men are dumb though. It almost boils down to like that that old truism that like, you know, the best things in life are free. Like men are so simple. It's not that hard to be happy. They just want to sit in a room and yell lost at a screen.

Or honestly, just give Matt. Just give him a ball. Just give him a ball. Dude, it's a tennis ball. It's like the greatest invention in man. Oh my God. I love tennis balls. We got one of these emails.

and I've done this myself. I bet you you guys have too. We didn't read it on the show, but some guy emailed us saying, he was emailing about this dumb guy stuff category. And he was talking about how him and his friends play a game, but they all just sit around in a circle on the floor and they sit with their legs open

and they just have a ball and you just toss it to the other side of the circle and you try and land the ball on somebody's nuts. And that's the whole game. There's no winners. There's only losers. You can't block it. No.

You just have to take it. Yeah. And then if it hits you, then you get to throw it at somebody else. And that's it. I've played it many times. Oh, man. That's incredible.

All right. Well, thank you, D-K. Thank you, Craig. Thank you to anyone who's ever thrown a ball at Craig's nuts. I appreciate you. Thank you, Lauren. Lauren. Thank you, you, the Bengals.

No, that's a football team. Ho! Spelled B-A-N-G-L-E-S. It's a band. Can I tell you guys saying funny? Walk like an Egyptian. Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Are they at one-hit wonder? No. They got a couple of hits. All right. I think they were pretty big. Well, before you were born, Craig. you don't know when I was born how there you

can I tell you guys something it's funny I literally didn't consciously put this together I definitely did subconsciously you know it's funny you know what I'm holding right now a ball

it's just like a little stress ball on this desk and I just picked it up and I've just been holding this for like 20, 30 minutes easily I mean one of my favorite things in life is just throw balls of paper into the trash can

like I'm a simple man it doesn't take much it's another the most honestly arguably the most like man thing ever is just when you do that you're like Kobe now it's Steph I feel like

people with Steph. I mean, you're in the Bay Area. Like, yeah. I mean, no, stop. Little kids across the country, every kid shoots threes now at every 24-hour fitness because of Steph. That's a fact. I mean, yeah, the people didn't watch Kobe play basketball. Yeah, I mean, that's a large swath of people now. I mean, literally, you go to a gym, kids only shoot threes and you play fives now. It's because of stuff. That's true. It's kind of like how Mahomes ruined all these kids because they're like, oh, no look past, but it's like actually just set your feet. You're not good. Mom's ruined mechanics for all...

Do you guys... So this is Shea. She definitely talks about that. Shea Serrano. Are you guys part of the people that do the, like, just shooting a hoop like in your kitchen? Every time you, like, want to go do something, you're in the kitchen, you just, like, pretend to shoot. I do like... I like to Euro step around corners.

I have a step trash can, which, like, really ruins that vibe. I'm not going to lie. That does. You need to get rid of that top. No, I'm not saying you actually shoot any... Like, you're just pretending to shoot who. oops, like in the kitchen. Listen, there's nothing people who don't play basketball

love more than playing fake basketball in their house. I like the Eurostep around the corner. I'm always Euro stepping like around a corner. Oh, yeah. Just like getting buckets and you're just like, I would totally, you know. Splash. I'm like, I can hit a couple threes in a game.

That's the core. Everyman believes that, right? Yeah. I've actually debated that for the hottest take. I could score points in an NBA game. Yes, that is. You don't realize how tall they are, Craig. You know, there are NBA players shorter than me.

I feel, well, that's a bad answer. I think you have to be like for a year. You'd have to practice shooting at such an insane arc and actually kind of get good at. Craig's a little different, though. He hit a half-court shot to win a truck. Yeah, what's up? We don't talk about that ever. Why don't we talk about that more?

That's crazy. Yeah. Didn't they not give you the, didn't you just? They didn't give me the truck because they said it was a free truck. And then when I made the fucking shot, Toyota was a, was a, like, yeah, that's right. I'm calling out Toyota. I hope we don't have a brand deal for Toyota, but they were like, oh, actually, it's a two-year lease. And I was like, what? Fuck that. I don't need that. I'm a freshman in college. It's a walkable campus. I don't need a two-year

lease. I wanted a truck permanently. And so we ended up coming to terms at a kind of an under-the-table. They gave you a big check. Yeah. But you know what sucks about that is being a freshman in college, I was 18 years old or 19 years old. I didn't get that money. My mom got that money. Like, I got the check and my mom deposited it into my bank account. And then I don't know what happened to that money. I didn't get a dime of it. It probably went towards my tuition. That's bullshit.

Oh, what a tragedy. It's like my cousin Vinny. It's just like, oh, the horror. College student pays off loan. I didn't go to some private liberal arts school. I went to San Diego State tuition was not that expensive. I could have used some of that money for some fun. In-state tuition is not that bad.

Two-year lease. Well, good luck with your time. All right, goodbye, everyone.