The Ringer NFL Show - Week 3 Recap: Dolphins Make Fantasy History, Kelce-Swift Theories, and the Browns D

Episode Date: September 25, 2023

The guys recap Week 3, starting with a draft of their favorite facts from the Dolphins' 70-point game. Then, they have the “Why Do We Even Bother?” award, the “What’s Your Return Policy?” award, and Craig has a Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce theory. Then, they induct another player into the 2023 Fantasy Burn Book. Check out our Week 3 Fantasy Football Rankings for this week’s positional rankings and more! Email us! [e-mail] The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please check out theringer.com/RG to find out more or listen to the end of the episode for additional details. Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck Social: Kiera Givens and Jack Sanders Producer: Carlos Chiriboga Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Football is officially back and we've got you covered right here on the Ringer NFL feet. I'm Shiel Kapadia and every Tuesday and Friday, Ben Solek and I will be bringing you extra point taken. Nora Prentiotti here to tell you that Stephen Ruiz and I will be coming to you every Monday and Thursday. Our Monday show will recap everything from Sunday's games. Thursday show will encompass any news during the week with an eye towards the next slate of games. Subscribe to the Ringer NFL show on Spotify or wherever you get your podcast. Be sure to follow the Ringer NFL on Instagram. him, TikTok, and Twitter at Ringer NFL.

With the Ringer Fantasy Football Show, my name is Danny Hyfitz. I am joined by Danny Kelly and Greg Coralbeck. Craig, are you going to send flowers to Josh McDaniels for kicking the field goal, edible arrangements? What's your style? He's already on our payroll, so the money should be enough. Thank you, Josh. What a great win.

I don't believe, I saw the analytics said that him kicking it, it was actually like they were both around 10.6% chance of winning whether they kicked it or not. I don't believe that. You need four yards and then to go for two. You got to do that. So thank you, Josh. I think we would have one anyway, but thank you, Josh. It's really weird when you have, you need eight points and that you're fourth and four and you need eight.

And you just got eight points on the previous drive and you're like, what if we did three and then still needed a touchdown anyway? Like, sometimes football's funny when you strip all the context out. And you're like, well, we need eight, but we're not going to try for that yet. Yeah, he's like. He's like, what if we needed three touchdown drives in a row instead of two in a row? Let's do that. To me, it's like there's so many more variables. It's like you got to execute essentially two plays, right?

You got to score touchdown and then get a two-point conversion. Well, I guess if you count the fourth down, you also have to do three. But then you have to make a stop on the next drive if you're just going to kick a field goal. And there's like, that's throwing a whole new crap load of variables into it. Then you've got to do another drive and come down the field and do it all again. Like, to me, that's like, what are we talking about here? This is so much more easy just to do three good plays. Yeah, Jimmy had thrown two picks.

He was getting sacked a ton. Like, you're in the red zone, man. Like, take advantage of it. I think 90% of what we criticize coaches about is wrong, and we don't have the right information or we have no doubt we're talking about. I actually think clock management in the NFL is the thing where, you know what? You actually do have more experience with them. These coaches who don't play Madden, like you, you know how you get a head coaching job?

You're not watching the end of the game in real time. They're watching cutups of film all 22. They're not thinking about the clock in these situations. Their diagraming plays, their X and O's. Like, the reason Nate Hackett was so bad is Nate Hackett had never freaking managed the clock till he was doing it. And I just watch these coaches, and I'm like, they're actually not thinking about this stuff.

It's crazy. If Sean McVeigh was on the Zoom right now, would you say that to him? Yes, I would actually ask him how much time he spent before he became a head coach, not like managing those situations. at the end of the game. I think it's shockingly less than you think about.

It's just not their job. It is their job. But yeah. But, well, not before you get the job. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying if you played Madden, until you get the job, it's never been your job.

Like, if you played Madden, you thought about it more than them. That's what I'm saying. But it is our job. Yeah. It's our job every single Sunday. There you go. Just watch.

Anyway, I'm technically managing, I'm clock managing 16 games every Sunday. It's true. Anyway. All right. We're going to go through everything after week three.

a lot to get to. Oh my God. I feel like the fun week. This was like a week that was like gradual and then all of a sudden everything happened at once. But there's only one place to start. It was a fun week if you had a dolphin on your roster. Otherwise it was a terrible week.

So the Dolphins Broncos game was so ridiculous that we're going to do something fun here. We're going to do a draft of stats and facts from the Dolphins game. Like we literally, there were so many that we're going to. do a draft and I'm giving myself the first pick because I've just to do. We'll do this. You put the list together. I guess so I gave myself the first pick. Uh, so again, from the official 2023 week three draft of Miami

Dolphin stats, uh, Dolphins scored 70 points. Most since 1966. I'm taking that first. 70. That's 10 touchdowns. Can we just say like most ever? Because like 1960s, come on, who cares? Um, first of all, just to recap in case you missed it,

case you're under a rock. Miami beat the Broncos 70 to 20. Most ridiculous game I've ever seen. It was like the most massive blowout I've ever seen. And then there was like 10 minutes left in the game. And then they just added on to it. The only game I would compare this to was the, I forget which Patriots team. I think 2007 or 8 or not,

one of the really good Brady ones, Moss was still there, was they beat the Titans 59 to nothing in the snow. That was the last time I remember thinking it was, that was such a non-competitive. a football game. Craig, give the second pick here. I have a quick question for DK. DK., if people don't care about 1966, what year do people start

carrying with stats? Where are you drawing the line? 75? What year were you born, DK.? 1980? Yeah, 82, okay. I was literally actually thinking like 1995. Dick is like, when did I start watching football? This is about me. I just know, like, really, though? It's just like, the game is so

different back then. It was like, I don't know. So all Joe Montana's Super Bowls? Those those don't count there before. Let's start with 1980. That's fine. Start in 1980. All right. I'm taking, I mean, I'm taking 726 yards most in NFL history, right? How can you not? The most yards ever in a football game. I think that's a good one. But of 726 yards, which is an NFL record, which broke the record set by the Rams. We beat the Yanks in 1951. The Yanks. The New York Yanks. On that roster, just an absolute plethora of milk plum and cloice box level names. On the 1951 New York Yanks, Zollie Taught.

No way. A quarterback Norm Van Brocklin. Somebody named legitimately Vitamin Smith. Vitamin. Tungsten arm, O'Doyle. Vitamin Smith. Vitamin. And then.

My favorite here is we have we have Bev Wallace when I looked at them up. It's Beverly. This person is Beverly Wallace. Then you forgot about Bob Celery. Bob celery. That's right. Bob Celery. He's the starting quarterback.

Robert. Robert Celery. Robert Celery. Elroy Hirsch is the first and last Elroy. His name was crazy legs. They called him Crazy Likes Hirsch. Oh, yeah, I've heard of that guy before. Oh.

Crazy Likes Hirsch? I like... I like vitamin. Vibam... Shut the fuck up. Vitamin Smith. If he was British, they called him vitamin. Vitamin Smith?

How do you spell it? Like, just the word vitamin? It spelled like vitamin. They had a guy named Sisto Averno. Some great names. And he was 5-8-179 and he was a running back. Because he was Devon A-Chain of the 50s. God, I love it.

Hibon. Hose me down. Vitamin Smith is probably better than even fucking cloice. Email us at Ringer Fantasy Football at g-mail.com about vitamin Smith. So right to be, it's like watching a, like a big 12 game on like Thursday afternoon or Thursday night or something. Like it's like what are we doing here? There's no defense at all.

There are teams that in the NFL that have not had 726 yards in a month. Yeah. Okay. This is the one I'm going to do since I have the third pick. This is tough. Rahim Moster had, let's see here, 142 scrimmage yards and four touchdowns. And he was not the highest scoring running back on his own team.

He had 40s. What was his total points? Like 45 PPR. 45 points in PPR and he was the second highest running back on his team in terms of fantasy points. Just absolutely ludicrous. Ludicrous day through the, like honestly, both through the air and on the ground. But like this was like an incredible game from the run game. Like it felt like the Broncos just completely gave up like midway through the second quarter.

But so anyways, I got back to back picks here since I've got three and four. I can't go. making. Oh yeah. Come on. That's the only thing that's fair. Let's see here. There's so many to choose from. Let's see here. If we were true to our show, we would have done an auction draft, but it's fine. Okay, so here's a good one. I'm just going to go ahead and put it here. Most are in A chain, according to ESPN's Tristan Croc, Cockcroft, most fantasy points by a running back duo in NFL history. And this is a good way to shoot. That's wild. Like, the most ever. And you could feel. that. Like, the fact that that Frickin Mostert scored four touchdowns in this and he wasn't the highest scoring running back on his own team is so ludicrous. How rare is it

for a player to have four touchdowns? Both the running backs had four touchdowns. Yeah. Unbelievable. Like, again, like, 10, one team had 10 touchdowns. They had five in the first half and then they had five in the second half. When can I do, when do, when should we

wait until I do my victory lap on Devon A chain? Should we do it now? like I just, I just want to say, I kind of pinned my professional reputation on Devon A chain a little too much over the offseys. I wouldn't shut the fuck up about him. Like every chance I got, I was talking about how much I loved Devon A chain.

When he was a healthy scratch, a week one, slightly disconcerting from my point of view, considering how much I talked to him over the first, like over the last six months. So this was very validating. I'm just very happy. The vibrations.

We got to see, yeah. I love when the cars go back. Like this, that was just so much fun to watch Devon H. And I do think he's a special talent. Of course, Rahim Moster did a lot too. So this is also just a huge product of this is an amazing offense. Okay. My turn?

Yep. I really like that Devon A-Chane currently is the number five overall running back in fantasy. Not this week. In the whole year, A-Chane is fifth. And let me remind people, he had nine yards heading into this game. He had one fantasy point for today. had one carry for five yards and one catch for four yards. That's it.

And now he's fifth in the league in fantasy points. RB5 in fantasy. Love to see it. DK. That's an all time call by you, DK. I remember like he was one of the first players you had like a real opinion on in the draft. I remember you're hitting me up about him really early and being like this guy's like the truth.

And just respect. Like I what, what a call. It's insane that he's so the dolphins have two top five. running backs. I know. It's crazy. In fantasy, to be clear. Yeah, like, I think it's, it definitely like sort of diminishes the overall impact, the fact that Moester did so great in this game, too. It's not like, oh, Devon A chain is the second coming of Adrian Peterson or whatever. I just think, like, in this offense, he's such a perfect fit, and we saw that today. I'm so excited

about what he can do down the line. I mean, he played like 40% of the snaps. He had like 50 points. You know what I mean? When you say that Devon Aachin's not the second coming of Adrian Peterson is because Adrian Peterson doesn't have shit on Devon H. It, right? Right, right. Obviously, there's no even, they're not even close. But I see what you mean. There's an element of this where it's like, does it matter who's even on the offense as long as you can run fast and Mike McDaniel will get you 100 yards?

Well, I was going to say, I have two here, which is, I'm going to go two stats back to back. Top five fastest ball carriers like plays this season. The fastest of players run. All five of them are Miami Dolphins. It's Tyree Kill. Rahimosa. It's Tyree Kill, Tyree, Tyree. most of Tyree Kill and Dev on A.

So, I mean, it's... This is the best. I'm telling you did. Producer Carlos, who's a huge Dolphins fan before the show, is... He was telling us that it... Watching the other games after the Dolphins looked like every team was in slow motion. It's like, I listen to all my pods at 2x.

And then if you go down to 1X or like even 1.3X or something like that, it sounds like everyone's drunk. It's like... It's like watching the NBA playoffs and then switching to like March Madness. And you're like, this ain't it. I'm going to rip through... It's 58 to 54. I don't know. I mean, I'm just, I'm just going to rip through some of these other stats because

they're actually insane. Mike White outscored Ryan Tannhill, Zach Wilson, and Daniel Jones this week, even though Mike White threw two passes. The Dolphins offense has over 1,600 yards through three games, which is the most ever through three games. Dolphins off again, 10 touchdowns. Most ever for any team ever through three games, most yards. Ever. To be clear. From Austin Gale, shout out Austin Gale got a soon. Two is EPA per dropback. expected points added per dropback through three weeks is the second highest mark of the 21st century

only behind Tom Brady for the 2007 Patriots that went undefeated until the Super Bowl. You go on and on and on here, but Dek, I wanted to ask you about you actually, before we even had that stat, brought up the 2007 Patriots with this Dolphins team about how you felt that, not that they're going to go undefeated,

but that they are like a tectonic shift in the league. Like the 2007 Patriots ushered in a new era in football. And I don't know if that's going to happen with this team. But I don't know. Like, why did you think of the 2007 Patriots when you were talking to the dolphins? Yeah. I mean, I think you know, it's just essentially like, you know, of course, it's a long time ago. So it's hard to kind of remember exactly how it was.

But it was like, this is something new that no one's doing. And it's like, how are they, how can we stop this team? Like, they're so unstoppable. Like, they literally are just running circles around everyone else offensively. And of course, that Patriots team had Tom, at the helm. They went undefeated in the regular season. Somehow, I still don't know how they lost the Giants in the Super Bowl. Because the Giants kicked the shit out of them.

Yeah. And, you know, credit to them. But like before that, this was like the most truly unstoppable offense that felt like we'd ever seen. And this is like from a just uniqueness. And it's like this is almost like something we've never seen before. It's like they have the five fastest players in the NFL and they're all on their offense. You know what I mean? It's like insane what they're doing. And then Tua is just such an expert distributor of the football. Like he gets them out so quickly. He throws deep.

And then they have yards after they catch. You know, just everything all together. Like obviously, Mike and Daniel scheming up like the most brilliant thing. Everybody's just running wide open all the time. I don't know how that happens. So that was like what it really reminded me of. It was like the 2007 Patriots where it's like they took the league by storm. You know what I mean?

I know that's a cliche, but they took the league by storm. I would say it's like also similar a little bit and we were talking about this like the Shaw McBey Rams when he came over and they just like changed everything about offense. That team was incredible too. There's a couple other really good examples of offenses that just look truly unstoppable.

Obviously Patrick Mahomes and Angie Reed have done Andy Reid have done that a few times. But man, this offense is so fun to watch. Like they are truly the number one team to watch right now. Also lost in all of this. Jalen Wattle didn't play tonight. Right. Good point.

They were like, wasn't even on the field. The best offensive performance from any team maybe ever, and Jalen Waddle was hurt. If you had started only Dolphins on your fantasy team this week, you would have had over 200 fantasy points. So that's super chill. Also I want to know,

dolphins had more yards today than the Jets do all season. So that's cool. Jets, tough. Dolphins, incredible. Craig, next award here. Yeah, the next award here is called, Why do we even bother? Why do we even bother award goes to the air?

I'm a Cardinals Dallas Cowboys game because you know what? This is why you should just, you should always zag. Whenever anything seems like a certainty, just zag. I respect all people, zag at all times. No one knows anything. The screenwriters who are writing this season,

they're obviously non-union, right? Because there is a strike that might be over right now. But they were clearly non-union writers because this season, it's all over the place. There's no storyline. I don't know what, I don't know what the resolution is. The first act here has been a mess. and not a single person on the planet

would have picked the Arizona Cardinals to beat the Dallas Cowboys. I guess except DK from the Teg Purge who said that the Cardinals are going to win like 10 games and make the playoffs. Well, Craig, that's exactly, you signed it up perfectly for me because the only reason, I had no real reason to actually like the Cardinals

other than the fact that everyone thought they were the shittiest team imaginable and they're going to get like a... And in fact, that is the most important reason in life is when everybody's thinking one thing, disregard all other information and facts and go the other way. Tuna on toast.

If you missed it, I essentially, it wasn't actually a take perch because I had said it too many times before the take perch so I didn't do it. But like basically my joke for like a month in the offseason was that the Cardinals are going to win nine games this year. And so far,

honestly, look, they lost their, they lost their first two games, but they were really competitive in both of those games. In fact, they were up 28 to 14 before they lost to the Giants late in the third quarter.

So that wasn't great. But this is, 28 to 7? 28 to 7. Oh, yeah. Okay. So there you go. Um, this team is way, way more competitive than anyone gave him credit for.

Like, we're all clowning on Jonathan Gannon and honestly for good reason, but like, apparently the team has really bought in like they're playing their bellies. Dude, it seems like they like they're buying their bellies. Dude, it seems like they're all jumping on him, pouring gatorade on him. He got a gatorie back. He seemed very happy with him. Hell yeah. Yeah.

So yeah, man, this is like a really honestly fun team to watch. Like Craig, I think you tweeted it today. It's like the best teams in the NFL are, you know, the dolphins and the Cardinals in the first half and like, I don't know who else you put, but like this, this team like it, man, they come out like swinging and I kind of like it. Yeah, Craig. You're like the best team in the NFL is the Cardinals of the first half and then it's the Dolphins and then the best, and then the third best teams who ever plays the Cardinals at the second half. And the Cardinals proved me wrong, I guess, by holding off on Dallas. Look, I mean,

what's funny about the Cardinals is obviously they have the weirdest offensive roster at all time. Josh Dobbs, their quarterback, I think got brought into the team a month ago to this day. Quantum Leap. He's just stuck in this life now. So he's getting good at it. He woke up and was like, oh, I got to figure this out.

Dude, their schedule's a disaster. Like, like their next five games, Niners, Bengals, Rams, Seahawks,

Ravens, Browns. I know, Craig. I looked at who they were playing next week and those like the 40s, like, fuck.

Damn it. This is a, this is when you say. Maybe. I'm going to bet the Cardinals's money line on each of the next five games. They'll win one of them. How do they get to nine?

Are they getting to nine? That's all I need to know. nine wins. I need to see it. Look, man, if Dobbs keeps running 45-yard touchdowns, yeah. So, Dodgers is like the fifth most mobile quarterback in the league now. By the way, when's Kyler coming back?

Never. Josh Dobbs is better than him. That's ridiculous. Come on. I'm just saying. It's stupid. It's stupid to say that. But yes.

Go ahead. James Connor looks great. No, the Cowboys, they had three offensive linemen out. I'm mad that I didn't see this coming in retrospect, because Zach Martin and Tyrone Smith did not end up playing this game. Also, their center, Tyler, I can never say his last name.

Bia does. So they're down three offensive linemen. And then on defense, the Cowboys are such an aggressive defense and the Cardinals just like RPO the crap out of them. And then I don't know, they kind of just had a bunch of cutback lanes that James Connor sliced them on.

And I'm like kind of weird that couldn't figure that one. James Connor is like my favorite running back right now. He's so fun to watch. A lot of juice. Yeah. And James. It's unbelievable.

So yeah, that was, super chill. We may or may not have jinxed Mike McCarthy because we said he was the happiest coach in the NFL on the Friday show, I think. Not anymore. Sorry about that. He took a leisurely pace down for the Cowboys' Final Drive

only to be matched by Josh McDaniels thinking there was like 20 more minutes at the end of the Steelers. It would be fun to adjust the coach happiness rankings. He's lowered. But that's not in the only other craig. The other craig, the Jaguarian, got their asses handed to them by the Houston Texans who like the, we thought the Cardinals of Texans

were going to be the two worst teams in the league. And they both look great. I think the Texans might be the second most surprised. Like the Cardinals are probably the first most surprising team this year, right? Second most surprising to me are the Texans being kind of frisky, like kind of good. C.J. Stroud looks like a five-year starter or six-year starter. Like he looks like a veteran out there. He's slicing people up.

I saw this staff from James Palmer, or 121 pass attempts without an interception through three starts. Most pass attempts in a player's first three starts in NFL history without a pick. That is incredible. Also, worth noting on that, that's first three starts. That should be graded on a curve because he actually is starting in week one, too. You know what I mean? That includes all these quarterbacks that got to wait on the bench.

So he has 906 passing yards through three games, C.J. Stroud does. That's the third most by a rookie quarterback in their first three games since 1970. So he is really... We don't care about 1970. I have that. Fuck that. He's been really, really good. Tank Dell, the rookie receiver.

Again, like, they're getting production from players. I don't think anyone... Well, I didn't expect so quickly, certainly, with Tank Dell, because he's out there. He's 500... He's 510, 155 pounds. This is one of the big reasons I was, like, way too low on Tank Dell.

Like, I'm going to take a Mi'Kopol on that one. Like, I was just... He's 155 pounds, and I was like, how is this... You're talking about the real draft, too. Because you are... talking about the real draft expert. Yeah. And I was like,

I mean, he was extremely productive in college, but I'm like, this guy's 155 pounds. We've seen like Tutu Atwell hasn't done anything. This was me talking in the summer. Of course,

Tutu Atwell now is like going off. We've got Devon A chain, who's 190 pounds scoring 50 fantasy points. We've got, you know, Devante Smith is one of the best receivers in the NFL. Like, one of my big takeaways from this Texans game

is not just that CJ Stroud is good. It's just like, I don't care how heavy you are anymore. Like, if you're a skinny small, dude, especially at receiver, like that, I don't think that matters anymore at all, like, period. Yeah, we're, uh, we're in our shallomay era, you know? It doesn't matter in Hollywood either. We're in the post-weight era.

It doesn't, it doesn't matter how heavy you are. If you can play, you can play. Pete Davidson? There you go. Yeah, we like him skinny now. Yeah. Wait, it's not your fate. Also, wait, while we're on this Texans game, holy shit, wait, we got to talk about Andrew Beck.

The kick return. That was, Craig, this was the craziest, I think this is one of the craziest plays I've ever seen. It almost didn't get enough attention, even though it was. was playing on Red So it a lot. But the fact that, so the Texans are fielding a kick and they, I don't know if they pooch punted or whatever, but like the returner doesn't take it. They did. They kind of pooch punted.

Yeah. I don't know. Why did they pooch punt? I don't know. I was one. I was, you know, I thought it was a punt when I first watched it because I was confused about where it landed. I watched it on a plane and I was next to my friend and I was like, why did they just

kick it? I don't know. And then the guy just ran it back for a touchdown. I was like, that guy's not even fat. What are we going on? It was so weird. And so the returner, the guy, the fullback picks it up and then drops it. And that's always how it starts me.

Like, what an idiot. This is why you don't touch the ball. And then he just kept going and going. How is this? How embarrassing is that for the fullback, for the coverage team, for the fullback to pick it up and then just return it for a touchdown after it drops it. It always feels like the guys, if you, if you were able to drop a punt and recover it, it always feels like you're going to have a great run.

Deshawn Jackson obviously has the famous one. But it always feels like to me that there's some weird thing about like you feel so bad about dropping it that you need to make up for it, that they always exceed expectations when they drop and recover their own catch. Yeah. Like a special amount of adrenaline for when you've really screwed something up. Flight or flight, baby.

Yeah. Because you know what? The other thing that always happens on kicks is when you get almost tackled and then accidentally slingshot by the player. Oh, yes. Yes. You know what I mean? It's like it's incredible how much of kick returns need either one of those two things to happen.

It's like the guy who gets sandwiched between two tacklers and then just keeps running and the two Tacklers fall backwards. It's like the balls, the silver Newton balls. Yeah, exactly. Physics that play here. It's just like the guy just stays right in the middle and just keeps running. Those are the weirdest place.

Oh my God. Okay. All right. Well, we've gone a little too far into the show without talking about the actually the only news of the day that actually matters, which is. Yeah, this is like trending. Yeah. I was going to say, yeah, I can't believe we made it this far.

But why someone tweeted that Taylor Swift's. up to this game is like when your boy was talking about like, dude, I'm going to get this like really hot girl from this other school like to come to the dance and you're like, okay. And then she shows up and you're like, oh my God. Yeah. Oh, man. Can I just say, what an awful day on Twitter. That's a measurable day on Twitter.

One of the worst I can remember. Like, God damn. Shouts out like Brian Curtis and the press box, the overjerk, over, overworked Twitter joke of the week. the amount of, I probably saw the same joke, the same five jokes from 1,500 Twitter accounts. The amount of, like, every announcer doing like the like, oh, the chiefs are up 3.5.0 and the bears, the bears have a blank space next to their score total. Oh, I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22 after, and I'm like, we got to stop this. I'm like, social media interns that are like texting all these announcers jokes to say.

I'm like, we can't be doing this. I have questions. Yeah, me too. I have answers. How long do you think they've been dating? Because her sitting next to the Travis Kelsey's mom for the game, it's kind of like soon for them, they're meeting the mom already. I hate to spoil this for you, Hyvitz, but they're not dating and they haven't been dating.

So you think this is all a ruse? Don't do not tell him. He's on such a high right now. This is so deflated. Taylor Swift. has a movie coming out in two weeks, and she wants to make the most money ever by a concert film. She's going to make like $150 million in America in the first weekend. And she's going to dominate the box office.

And now she just got millions and millions and millions and millions of people watching who are now converted fans of Taylor Swift that they weren't before. This is just an incredible marketing move, in my opinion. No wonder if she's sitting next to the mom. She'll be on camera. She can be seen hugging her. Everybody will love Taylor Swift. You can see her yell, let's fucking go when Travis Kelsey's, Oh, she knows exactly what she's doing. Come on.

There's a video after the game of them, like, walking next to each other, like a middle school couple out to Travis Kelsey's car. This is all planned, people. Do you think they've ever actually done anything romantic? Like, have they actually? No. Never mind physical. Have they even gotten dinner alone? Maybe, maybe, yeah, I would say maybe they've gotten dinner one time.

Let's just, let's call it what it is. All right, Taylor Swift continues to be the best marketer on the planet. That's what this is. Also, tolerance. in person. She kind of like, he didn't really tower over her. Oh yeah, she's tall. She's like 5.10. Yeah. I mean, this, come on. I don't know. I mean, look, it makes sense. Maybe I think you're wrong, but I think they're in love. Well, I know, it's hard to argue that you're like, you know what, she accidentally ended up in front of like 20 million people live on live television for today, two weeks

before her movie comes out. Yeah. When did the rumors start? Wasn't he hurt at the time? Why would she, Why would she do this with the hurt guy? It was like, yeah, two, three weeks ago, he on the podcast, on his podcast was like, oh, I DM Taylor Swift or I sent her a message and like I really want to meet her. I like her. I like, I like, accept this marketing campaign? Or did she think of this and like talk to him first? That's the question.

Probably crossed the desk. I'm sure she was like, this is something I can capitalize on. Right, right. So win, win for both. The DM he sent was, saw you rock Arrowhead. You should see me rock Arrowhead. Okay. I mean, look, this guy had a dating show in 2016 called Catching Kelso.

That's the thing. He's thirsty as hell. Like, that's the thing about it too for fame. Was that, was that a question? No, not even, obviously, Kelsey's thirsty. Not even Kelsey's thirsty, but I'm just saying like, how many tight, how old is Kelsey, 34? So he's 28, a tight end, had a dating show, a bachelor spinoff. How many tight ends have ever even tried anything like that? You know what I mean?

Like, he was that famous. They drove off in a convertible. it's like, I see what you're up to. You know what I mean? Craig sees through the bullshit. I'm glad we didn't believe the show. Now I feel like we're not points. I don't think friendship exists either.

Good for them though, you know? Rich kid Richard. Big win for the two of them. Yeah, sure. This is like we were talking about how there would be no billionaire. Like billionaires aren't hot because if they were hot, they wouldn't have become billionaires. like, well, how do we explain like Ryan Reynolds?

And it's like, but the other end of the spectrum is hotness has never been more profitable. Well, yeah. And like also like in the acting space, that kind of, that doesn't count. Like if you're a billionaire by way of acting, that doesn't count. That actually helps if you're hot. That's probably the only way to be a billionaire as an actor is if you're attractive. All right. Next up here.

The arrested development dead dove, what is your return policy? The Memorial Joe Bluth award. Wow, some running backs here. We got Josh Kelly charges running back. 11 carries 12 yards. Dude, this is a brutal one. So many people probably spent like half their free agent auction money on this guy. And he's been just a mess for two weeks in a row.

Austin Echler kind of sold us a bill of goods on this guy. Yo, yes. Austin Echle herself with super earnestly on the Yahoo show is just like, got to pick up Josh Kelly. And that, dude, Josh Kelly has two starts for Austin Declay. six and a half points. I mean, has there been a,

has there been a better argument for Echler to get a fat contract than Josh Kelly replacing him and putting up by Echler? So he's like Taylor Swift. He's just like, crossing it up. Also, they quietly were like,

Austin Echler's going to be out a few more weeks possibly. I don't understand what the deal with the Chargers is. Why is it so hard for the Chargers to find a running back that can actually just like break a tackle? You know what I mean?

Like they've been trying for like three or four years now to find any running back that is, good. It seems like it's the easiest position to find a good player at. There's way too many of these guys. How come they can't find a guy who's good? There are some teams that just have blind spots. The Vikings and Cardinals have not been able to find a cornerback for like half a decade. The charges have not been able to find a running back since Eccler for like half a decade. The Bears just like way too many running backs. This is why there's like a crisis for running back

payment right or pay right now. Like there's just way too many good ones and they can't find a good one. It is true. Except for, of course, Echler, but still, it's crazy. Brees Hall on the Jets, 12 carries for 18 yards. I mean, the whole Jets team is just sell low. Whatever you can catch out. Give up. Truly, let's give up.

My favorite photo on the Internet is the, you can see that motivational side that someone put, but they got the thing wrong, and it says, like, You matter, don't give up, but they actually by accident put it, you don't matter, give up. Oh, right, yeah. It's like, you don't matter, give up. The way that they, like, put the words together. My girlfriend's giving me her big joke,

her inside joke with us is always like, anytime something stressful happens, she's always just like, let's give up. Not like, with this guy, let's just give up. Let's give up about this. Dude, all right, well, I think the Jets actually might have to give up on Zach Wilson. He's guts to go.

It's like this is the end. style he's gots to go. Dude, did you guys watch any of this? Craig, I hope you were spared watching this game. The Jets had one yard in their first five drives. What are they going to do? They have to get a quarterback. Well, I want to get to that.

Carson Wentz. Carson Wentz would be immeasurably better than what they're doing now. It is, and I don't throw this word around lightly. I do not throw this word around lightly. They're a non-competitive offense. They are like, and I remember when I said the Rams defense was unsurious. This is an unsurious office. Like the players are self-immolating on the sideline.

Like the whole thing is pathetic. Like, Zach Wilson got a game-winning drive and basically took a safety. And then somehow got the ball back. And then he checked down for one-yard completion on fourth intent. He is somehow miraculously, like, worse than Justin Fields right now. He's a non-functional quarterback. They cannot, they can barely complete a pass. Like, it's a miracle if they can complete a pass.

Let me touch this by a straight up, Zach Wilson for Justin Fields. who says no. Dude, the bears. Why? The bears is perfect. The bears hate Justin Fields. They hate them. And then you just tank with Zach Wilson and get Caleb Williams.

The Bears is trying to lose. This is great. Another man's trash. Dude, so they came out. There's a report that came out on Sunday. I think that Matt Ryan and Carson Wentz have called the Jets and have expressed interest in playing for the Jets this year.

Like come sign me. It's like how Kelsey expressed interest in Taylor Swift. They're sliding into the DMs. Publicly begging. And then the Jets are like, maybe this is a good idea. The Jets absolutely need to do this. Yeah, Matt Ryan's like, you should see me rock MetLife.

No, they couldn't possibly. I actually, again, Tom Brady. I mean, yeah. It's just out there. He's not going to the Jets. He's not going to do it. Here's the real one. So the charges, it returns to him the Chargers.

The Vikings are 0.N. 3. Why do they need Kirk Cousins? Kirk Cousins is a free agent after this year. There's not even like a compensatory pick they would get back if he leaves in free agency. His contract voids. If the Vikings lose, their next game is against the The Panthers that's winnable.

Then the Vikings played the Chiefs. They're going to start one in four probably. Why? Why do they need Kirk Cousins? Let's give up. And seriously, if they're not going to make the playoffs this year, they have one of the most analytic-minded front offices in the entire league. There's going to be a lot of quarterbacks in the first round this draft.

The Vikings are like, the fact they didn't extend Kirk Cousins clearly means they don't really want Kirk Cousins. Every chance he gets, he's like, yeah, we know he's not that good. Yeah, it's like Kirk Cousins is going to leave the Vikings after this year. just trade them to the Jets. Get a second round pick. Get a first, whatever. Get a future pick.

I'm serious. That to me is the real answer. I think the reason the Jets waited is because they looked around. They're like, wow, this landscape sucks. What if we wait two weeks and see what happens to like the Rams or the Titans and the Vikings? The Vikings start going to three is exactly what they need. That's the only one to me where I look and like the Jets could do something. Otherwise, it's like it's a nightmare for them.

It's not bad. I got to say. It's definitely from a football point of view. It makes a lot of sense. I would be very sad, though, because then it's like, oh, that's the end of just. Jefferson and T.J. Hawkinson and, you know, whatever. Like, that would suck for fantasy, but yeah, it'd be good for... Justin Jefferson will get over it when they get like Caleb Williams.

Yeah, it just feels like if they were one and four, that's not bad enough for them to give up. Like, they have to be one in eight. I just, I think that's why they would feel. I think they would think, hey, we had a really tough schedule to start the year. We can go on a big run and get right back into the mix. I think one in four is too early to give up. And I think I even agree with that. That's why you don't ask them.

just do it. Also, Kirk Cousins is a super jetsy quarterback. Like, he'd be a perfect jet. Also, wait, while we're talking about your return policy, the Titans demolished by the Browns today. Derek Henry, 11 carries for 20 yards, fewish rushing yards in a game since Derek Kennedy became the starting running back

for the Tennessee Titans. It's so over. It's over. I was snapped by Tadje Spears. Titans had 94 yards today. On how many, they had 94 yards on 45 offensive plays. 45 plays to produce 90 yards. And actually, like, so the Titans were pretty exciting last week.

I think this is more just an indictment on how freaking good the Browns defense is. The Browns defense to me is the new team in the NFL. San Francisco is close to that level. But to me, the Browns are the team. You do not want to play anyone in fantasy. Like if any of my guys are going against the Browns, I'm like pretty much trying to find a different solution here. Because, and this is also why, Craig, I was talking to you about this before. I couldn't believe.

Like, it's actually crazy to me that Pickens had such a good game against this Browns defense last week because the Browns are just absolutely incredible. Bill Simmons tweeted out earlier. It's like they're playing with 15 guys on the field. It's what it looks like. They're just so smothering. They're so freaking just dominant up front. Opposing offenses just surely can't do anything.

They just can't do anything. This was functionally a shutout because it was, was it 27 to three, the Browns won? But it doesn't matter. The three, the Titans got was after a turnover. They went negative nine yards on the scoring drive. they lost nine yards and kicked a field goal. That's a shutout. Jesus.

That's like when you give up a, that's like a pitcher giving up a run, but it's an error so it doesn't actually like work towards your ERA. Yeah, exactly. It's an earned point average. Yeah. Unearned point. Here's the Titans possessions in order.

Punt, punt, field goal, punt, end of half, punt, punt, punt, punt, punt, end of game. Just futile. I mean, I mean, dude, the Titans had 94 yards. The Dolphets had 70. points. Like, so crazy.

That's so crazy. The Dolph is also 70 points and 71 plays. And that's, wow. So there's two, DK, you had a stat about the Browns and then I want to tell you something I saw in this game that underlined. But you mentioned a stat about the success rate. Oh, yeah. Our boy, Austin Gale tweeted this out. The Brown's defensive success rate this year is 78%.

That's the best for any team through three weeks since at least 2000. So this is like, it's up there with like some of the great. great Legion of Boom defenses, some of the great Ravens defenses, you know, all those defense, the 49ers set some really great defenses along the way. I'm sure I'm missing a million. But like, this is a truly just, they are destroying their opponents so far. It's an all-time start. It's like if the dolphins were not being the dolphins, this would be like, oh, this is like the start of the year as the Brown's defense. And, you know, Deshaun actually didn't look bad today. So if the offense can start clicking,

the Browns kind of immediately seem like the best team. in the AFC North. And the thing I have to say, Michael Parsons obviously got his flowers is like the early defensive player of your kid. And it. Miles Garrett, though, is probably it.

He looks awesome. Right there with him for three weeks. I have to tell you, I saw something in this game I've never seen. Which is, obviously, you know, if there's a defensive end that's really good, you know, they put a tight end on that side to like, block him.

And the tight, I've never seen this. The Titans put two tight ends to block him. So Miles Garrett moved to the other side, and both tight ends motioned over to block him. So then he went back to the other side. This is all in the same play.

And the Titans went back to follow him. And Miles Garrett's laughing and he goes back. And he tends to like screw this and he's called him out. And I've never seen anything like it. Where the two, like just going back and forth and bat, I'm like, this is so sad. It's a moment when you're like, wow, this football's kind of simple. There are moments where you're like, oh, look at this. This guy's two guys are chasing another guy.

Yeah. He's really good. So they need two guys. And then he's like, well, I'll go here. They're like, well, I'll go there. He's like, well, criss-cross, nip, snap. also in the defensive player of the year conversation, you can't not talk about TJ Watt.

DJWed is six sacks in three years. He was my pick, Craig. For what it's worth. I agree, D.K., with your overall point, that the Browns defense are just like an auto sit right now. Like, no one's going to have a good game against the Browns, it seems. Yeah, it's just, man, you can't get anything going against them.

Speaking of which, though, I would also like to give that these two teams deserve each other award to the Chargers Vikings game. I know it touched on Josh Kelly's sucking. It was the perfect game. It was up exactly to the height. It was exactly what we all thought. Do you want to start with the Vikings losing this game?

Or do you want to start with Brandon Staley getting out by the skin of his teeth? No, you got to explain how the ending of the game came to pass, how it all went down. There is so much to talk about. But I will start with Brandon Staley, fourth and one at his own 24 yard line, goes for it on fourth down. They're winning. What was this score? They're winning. They're winning by four.

Goes forward on fourth and one at his own 24 instead of punt in a minute and a half left. something like that? Yes. Yeah. And I will say this. It is the exact opposite of what we just criticized McDaniels for. There is the idea of, even in Madden, it is a little, like, it's a lot to just be like, yeah, if we don't get this yard, I will say this.

I think the fireable offense to me is that if you have fourth and one with your, it's not in season, it's like your career on the line. Why have you not, why are you not doing the tush push? Why are you not doing this shove this quarterback's six foot six ass? You need a yard is three feet. Your quarterback's 6-6. Anyway, they don't get it. The Vikings get the ball.

The Vikings then go. They get a fourth and ten. The Vikings convert. They run up. They have 30 seconds to go like, what, five yards to the goal line? And what the Vikings said happened was they wanted a quick snap, which makes no sense.

Kevin O'Connell, the head coach, was like, we wanted to run a play really fast because they were caught off guard. But the Vikings fans were, cheering so Kirk Cousins couldn't hear the play call. Took so long to hear it, eventually called his own call, and then threw tip, pass, pick in the end so they lose and the Vikey's loose. Brutal, brutal, brutal.

Have you guys seen that? Staley's beard is a huge red flag for me. Yes. This man has like a graying depression beard. Like, you can tell he's just up all night, studying tape, looking at the numbers, figuring out what analytical play he's going to screw up or use that excuse. His beard is looking haggard, and I'm worried for him, to be honest. That guy needs a good shave in a shower.

This is like, I feel bad though because this is what we, so we had kind of gotten on him a little bit about, because he, when he got hired, like, all the nerds loved him, he's the guy that's going to go for it on fourth down and like, you're going to play with more downs. You're going to get more plays. The analytics say it's like over time, you're going to get more of these than you fail and blah, blah, blah. You're going to score more points. And he like has gotten that sort of beaten out of him over the years, just like by the media and the fans and everything. And he's not really the guy that goes for it on fourth down anymore. So, like, shouldn't we be celebrating that he did this? And if he had gotten it, we'd all be like, this was a genius move.

So paulsy. Like, great job. But then they failed. Well, I don't think I would have said genius. We would have said, ballsy. Monkey. That's fair. That's fair.

That's fair. That's fair. Do the thing. Do the thing. Do the thing. Do the thing that you do. You know, you do the thing. But now it feels like we beat it out of him.

And now he, now he has no philosophy. And now he doesn't know who he is. Hence the beard. He's literally trying to change his love. Look. I know. I think that it's, I think that the reality is that he has the beard you think you would have three

months after he got fired, but he hasn't been fired yet. And like, it's like what I thought Cliff Kingsbury would look like when he was in Thailand. That's what Brandon Stanley looks like right now. In the bleak midwinter, this is like in peeky binders. They're all just operating like they're on borrowed time anyway.

So it's like, fuck it. I'm not kidding. Get him the haircut. Oh my God. The Chargers are just in the bleak midwinter. This is what the Chargers are. Oh, my God.

If you've never seen Piki Blinders, essentially like all these World War I vets, I don't know if they make a pact or whatever, they just have a motto. It's because if they made it back from the war, this is all extra time for them. Like, you know what I mean? And so when they all survive the war,

they just have this expression in the bleak midwinter. Everything else is bonus. Can I say one thing about the Chargers? So Herbert right now, number one quarterback in fantasy, no turnovers. Every single throw Justin Herbert makes,

and I really want to stress this, I believe this, every single throw he makes is perfect. Well, except for the touchdown he threw that should have been a pick. Still got caught. Except every single ball he throws

is fucking perfect. It's incredible. The best he's ever been. But every time I watch him, he just flings some deep ball, 40 yards down the field, down the sideline, and it's just like right in a dude's breadbasket.

I know that Justin Herbert is very divisive amongst the football community because it's either like you love them or you hate him because, you know, what is he? He's never want to playoff game. His teams are always middle, you're not that great. He's either overhyped or underrated. Yeah. Correct. I think he's, I think he's the best thrower in the league. I mean, I guess Mahomes and then it's Herbert.

But like, the man is, the man throws perfect passes all the time. I know you mean. I get like, I know Bill's starting to come for Herbert and people are starting to come from the same people came for Shannon. And like, well, where's the winning? And I'm like, I've never seen a quarterback argument that should be easier than this one. I'm like, Brandon Staley, again, he's supposed to be defense guys, fourth down guy, he's defense guy. The Chargers defense has given up, like the leading passes in the NFL right now by Yardage are, it's Kirk Cousins and it's Tua, and then it's all the quarterbacks facing the Chargers combined. Like, those are the players who have 1,000 yards.

The Chargers have given up the most first downs, period. And I know a lot of that's probably playing the Dolphins and the Vikings, but like, I mean, but they're last in the leak. So at what point, like, defense guy, like, yeah.

What more do you want him to do is the thing? It's like, oh, the wins aren't coming. Dude, he threw, he was 40 out of 47 for 475 yards and three touchdowns. Oh,

by the way, yeah. It's the highest completion percentage ever for a quarterback with more than 45 a 10. I mean, Jesus. 40 out of 47. He threw the ball 47 times and 40 of them were complete.

That's crazy. Keenan Allen had 18 catches. What the hell is that? Even Keenan Al through a touchdown. Maybe that's actually the play. Oh, yeah. That's true. Yeah.

Keenan Allen. On the Herbert thing, I want to suggest we, I will say, a small L for us and everyone in fantasy football through three weeks is that we talked all offsees about Russian quarterbacks and Russian quarterback being a cheat code, loophole, because of rushing yards were three times more than a passing yard, Jalen Hertz, Josh Allen. Guess what? Through three weeks, the top five quarterbacks in fantasy are Justin Herbert, Kurt Cousins, to a Jordan Loveham Homes.

So pocket passers. Yeah. A bunch of parking barks. A bunch of Adels up here. Just stand in front of that mic and let it rip. Best comment at our life show. This is another example of like what everyone agrees on something, just go the other way,

just run away from it. Because we all finally agreed, late round quarterback is dead. It's finally like you got a guy who's going to run, blah, blah, blah. And you got guys like Justin Fields who can't complete a freaking pass to save his life. and they don't even run them either. So it's just like, oh my God.

Yeah, and it's like Lamar Jackson, blue a lead, Anthony Richardson's concussed because he's running. It's like, you know, Justin Herbert just stands in the puck and rips it. It's kind of nice. Park and park. I will say, before we move on from the charge, though, I just want to shout at Keenan Allen. When she threw a touchdown.

I have a crazy stat here. Keenan Allen has 90 PPR points through three weeks. In the last 20 years, the people have done that are Wes Welker in 2011. Julio Jones in 2015, that was when he ended up with the third most receiving yards ever. Randy Moss in 2007 when he had the most touchdown catches ever. Michael Thomas 2018, which is the prelude to him setting the catch record. Cooper Cup in 2021 when he had the cat triple crown. And then it's this year, Keenan Allen and Tyree Kill.

Wow. I have to say, I'm really upset. I was so in on Keenan Allen heading into last season. And I went on this whole rant about how you should be an adult and draft Keenan Allen and don't get all caught up in the flash of the younger guys. fresh out of college. Like, you know, it's like the SMP 500. It's only going up.

You get your 9% return every year. Just like, go home to your wife and draft Keenan Allen. And then he gets hurt. He has one mediocre year. I get off the train and now he's back to being like one of the best receivers. You lack discipline, man. I deserve it. Yeah.

Going back. So basically, yeah, he got hurt last year and he was just nearly as nearly as effective as he usually is. And then, but once he got healthy, if you go back to week 11 of 2022, I saw this from Jacob Gibbs. Since that week, so basically since Keenan Allen got healthy at the midpoint of last year, he has averaged

21.9 ppr points per game at receiver. That's more than anyone else. Like he is the number one receiver in football. More than Jefferson and Tyree Kill. Tyree Kill, 21 and a half. Tyrone A.m.a.m. DeVante Adams, 18.9. So what does this mean by Cooper Cup off his hamstring injury? Yeah. There you go. But I don't

no, man. He doesn't get nearly enough credit, I think, for that. Like, you know, we like him and everything, but he's just absolutely going nuclear since he got healthy last year. West Coast bias. We've talked about it before. Yeah. West Coast wide receivers don't get any love. Keenan Allen's not the kind of receiver. I thought we'd get 200 yards. I have one more note. I wanted to hit on the Chargers. Donald Parham needs to be stopped at all cost. We need to stop this man. This man is ruining football.

Donald Parham has six catches this season and he's the tight end six in fantasy football. Are you serious? He leads all the tight ends and touchdowns. He's ruining the tight end position. He's got six catches and he's the six best tight end in fantasy. I'm just sick of him. Nobody's ever going to start him.

He's going to be on the waiver wire the entire season and he's catching all the touchdown passes in L.A. It's miserable. I hate it. He is like, you remember back in the day when Jimmy Graham would just post every. everybody up and like inside the five yard line he scored like I don't know 70 something touchdowns over like a six year period or whatever this is what ago because he had one today too which was weird but yeah I remember that very random um Donald Parham has three end zone targets he's like they're in that second among tight ends he is he's essentially just their closer or whatever you get once you get into the end zone area it's just like go go have the six foot nine guy run around and we'll throw you a pass I yeah I guess it's kind of simple it's like it's essentially like the NFL version of like an alley Upe.

Yeah. Also speaking of Al Up, just like Oops, which was the Washington commanders playing the Bills today. The Bills defense and fantasy outscored Tyreek Hill. That's chill. What was the final score of this game? It was 37 to 3. First of all, did you see the photo of Josh Allen crossing the end zone?

It looked like he was doing a, it looked like a cross between a basketball player and like an angel being ascending into heaven. while a commander's player was like actually face down on the turn it was it was one of the best photos I've ever seen um Elena Getsenberg shout out Elena at ESPN had this tweet Sam Howell had a pick in each quarter today which has happened four times in the last eight years but it's the first time someone's done it other than James Winston. You don't want to be on the same list on interceptions as James Winston. Yeah, I was just I actually don't think I looked at Sam Howell's line until just now.

19 for 29, 170 yards and four interceptions. That's tough. He was also sacked nine times, I think. So nine sacks and four interceptions. It's hard to get offense going in that kind of environment. So this is definitely, you know, obviously we were kind of starting to get a little excited

about this Washington offense. This will take it down a notch. This is a heat check. Yeah, he's been sacked 19 times in three games. I looked this up. Jared Goff took 19 sacks in his first 14 games last year. and Sam Howell has 19 and 3. See, Sam Howell's not, like, you're saying, you can't do that.

Like, you will die. Like, that's going to be the record, isn't it? By, he's on pace for 107 sacks, which I think would break the sack record by 30. It would also break all the bones in his body. But you can't do that. Yeah. His sack rate is right now is 16%. The thing about the sack record is, if you try to break it, you're going to die.

And so, like, you know what I mean? He's 4% or no, 3% worse than Justin Fields in sack rate. It's not where you want to be. He has six more sacks taken than Justin Fields. The record is David Carr has been sacked the most with 76 and Sam Howells on pace for 107. We don't talk about enough because you know how Derek Carr's rep is he's kind of soft and doesn't take hits. I feel like we never talk about that in the context of his brother took like 300 sacks in five years. like the most sacked quarterback seasons ever

just three of the five for David Carr. I actually think Derek Carr's kind of tough. Is that a hot take? Yes. I mean, he got hurt today. Definitely. Literally. I guess RIP.

I feel like he's always getting murdered and trying to get himself back out there. I don't know. I mean, he's definitely tougher than the average person. That's for sure. No Brett Favre. But, all right.

Well, I just mean you, Derek, against the world. Hyfitz, who is the one I said? Anytime you hit him, then he just like freaks. out. Joey Bosa said that before a Monday night football game and then they like won.

And no, like, they didn't even like try to like, none of his line would even try to like take a shot at Bose either. Like, no one even defended him. Like it was so embarrassing. You never, dude, they just came out and said, you know that again, West goes, you know the charges are not really covered with the highest best defender, highest paid

player on the team is like the quarterback for the supposed Monday football game is soft. We think he's like kind of a bitch. And then it was like barely covered. Like, no, we even talked about it. Keenan Allen got it in 300 yards today. He wouldn't even get mentioned in the same breath as Taylor Swift. I know.

It's terrible. Taylor, date Keene and Allen. Packers also beat the Saints today with, like, math, which is boring. Packers did the 14-go-for-2 thing. Jordan Love, by the way. I got to give Fifeitz as far as. George Love, what is he? QB-4 on the year?

Yeah. Yeah. He's right behind Tua, which is just wild to me. How does that you know why? He might be better in fantasy than real life. Or maybe it's because he had a rushing touchdown, D.K. Now do you think that it's fantasy stupid? Because Jordan Love had a rushing touchdown and 40 yards.

I'm for it. I love it. That's stupid. No, it's great. It's awesome. Super fun. More good quarterbacks. That's better.

All right. Time for the best part of the show. Two tight ends who outscored Kyle Pitts. It'll lie. You know what? I'm not going to do it because Kyle Pitts had five catches for 40. yards today. Good for you, Kyle. You had a decent game in tight end terms. For you, you had one of the best games of your career. You had six, you had six fantasy points. Well done. God. You were the

tight end 14 today. Desmond Ritter threw it 38 times and they were losing the entire game and he had five catches for 41 yards, which by the way, five catches tied for the most he's had in a game since December of 2021. So, good on you. He was out he was out scored by Jimmy Graham today, who I believe is 38 years old and literally didn't play football last year. I decided to come back. He's almost twice

company age. Can you imagine if I told you at the take bridge? Jimmy Graham's going to outscore Kyle Pitts this month. You know, he was outscored by Josh Oliver, Brevin Jordan.

He actually had the same amount of points as his teammate, Johnny Smith. This conversation reminds me of something that Justin Fields said after the loss today. Basically, he's just like, you know, this last couple,

I'm paraphrasing completely, but he's like, these last couple weeks have just really made me appreciate some of the smaller things in life. Just the fact that I get to go out there and play ball, you know? Like, winning isn't really that important.

I'm just lucky to be alive. Yeah, like, I'm a miracle and that I'm alive right now. Like, my cells altogether. Life is a gift. Like, he's getting all philosophical. Like, the bears have completely fucking broken this man. He's just happy to be alive at this point. Like, nothing else matters from here.

This is how I feel every time I'm talking about Kyle Pitts. I'm like, you know what? but really nothing matters when you get down to it. You know, we're just becks in this infinite universe. Why do I care about Kyle Pitts? It's like when your friend just like gets broken up with in a really horrible way, and they're just like doing it. And they're trying to say anything they can to keep themselves in a positive headspace.

Like, you know what, man? Like, slays the sun's out. That's great, you know? Weather's great. I got a roof over my head. You know? Yeah. You know, I got two loving parents.

What more could a man ask for? What? Yeah, what more could a man ask for? Like 11 fantasy points? That's it? Just give me double digits. Doing what I love. Yeah, I'm playing sports for my profession.

This is a dream. Oh, man. We got to get Justin Fields and Cow pits on new teams, man. That's all. How long will Justin Fields hug Luke Getsie this week? I feel like it's going to be a little more cold. It could be a colder hug Okay

Could be a little tap on the back You know Ass outside hug You're not a hugger Are you DK Well I'm a big hugger What do you talk about You have like weird thoughts

On like hugging dynamics No I hug a lot of people I hug people My sort of instinct is My foundation is always to go in For the hug And then sometimes I'm like And then sometimes people put off

I don't hug vibe And then that's fine And I don't hug you Do you like when you meet new people And you go to take the hand and they go, I'm a hugger. Yeah. Coming for the real thing.

That's why that's like my favorite thing to say at a wedding, for instance. Like, come in for the real thing because I'm hugging everybody. Sure. You're going to the bride. Why would you think I'm not a hugger, Hi Fitz? You've had a lot of thoughts on Justin Fields hugging Luke Getson. I don't know. I know, that's because I'm trying to read body language, you know?

Trying to read the vibes on these hugs. Well, they're just happy to be alive. I mean, really, the end of the day. To embrace another human being. It's a dream. We're out here. You know, the sun's shining. birds are chirping.

Good to throw around the old pigskin. All right. Burn book time. I think it's just done with this. I think it's Josh Kelly. Who wants to go? I think it's Josh Kelly. I can never, literally never imagine playing this guy ever again.

I don't care how long lost the luck is out. I'm so tilted about Josh Kelly. I literally in one league sat James Connor because I was like, oh, James Connor, he's going against the Dallas Cowboys who are just annihilating everybody. They're going to have terrible game scripts in this game. blah, blah, blah. I'm an idiot. I started Josh Kelly, got two points. And then James Connor had like seven, after like five minutes in the first game. I was like, hate this guy. I'm never starting him again. I'm going to drop him just because I don't want to have to think about it.

Who was yours, D.K., who was your nomination? I was, I was agreeing with I was going to put Kelly. I was going to say Najee Harris. Ooh, that's another good one. Nogie Harris has 14 fantasy points in three games. He had 19 carries day. The Steelers won this game. They were winning the entire game. He couldn't get anything going. He had 19 carries had six points. If not now, when? You know what I mean? This is the exact environment in which Najee Harris should be a guy

getting you points on your roster. And they were up 15 for a half and he couldn't do shit. Najee Harris is beyond, I think in two weeks, he has gone from not startable to you don't have to roster him.

Wow. You know who has more points on him? Rico Dowdell you know who else has more points than him? Latavius Murray. Mike White. Do you want me to keep going? Tony Jones has more points than Naji Harris.

Where did we draft Daugia Harris again? Top 30. Cool. I don't think, I'm not saying cut Daugia Harris again, if anything we're, but now that the tide's turn, you should probably buy low on him because whoever has him is probably thinking about like, I never want to play this guy ever again. But if you're so mad, I don't know.

He just. Bill texted us the other day that Najee Harris every time he has the ball in the open field, which is like twice, he looks like a defender who's intercepted the ball

trying to like pick six it the other way. Like that's the... I can't unsee it now. Yeah, he looks like a linebacker who caught a tipped pass and is now figuring out how to run through.

Where do I go? Clyde Edward Salaris scored more fantasy points to Najee Harris this year, you guys. Can we teach him out to play left tackle, Naji? Put him out there. It's worth a shot.

All right, I'm down to burn Naji Harris. I think that's the right move. You want to do Naji? I'm down with Josh Kelly, too. No, Noges is the move because Josh Kelly, I could be talked into the siren song. Noggi, I cannot. It's bleak out there in Pittsburgh.

Every time Jaylon Warren's on the field of the team, I'd love to see. I need to look up like the bleak midway. The yards per play with Warren versus Noggi must be double. The difference between the Zique and Tony Pollard thing is that, well, Tony Pollard's obviously better than Jalen Warren.

It's that even like Zeeke right now is still better than Nashi Harris right now. Zika who's cut from the Cowboys would be better. He had Zik at 80 yards today. Yeah. So the list of yeah, like the list of running backs that you could have picked that would have the exact same production as Naji is extremely depressing. I mean, do you think Noggi is ever going to start after this season on the team ever again? Like, you know, not not counting for an injury.

He's not like a Kareem. Maybe the Chargers. Maybe the Chargers in like two years. Charges inside him. Like 12 carries 30 yards. He already, he just like is Melvin Gordon. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, Najee Harris is is Melvin Gordon right now. Like, he's current Melvin Gordon. Melvin Gordon looked out a little sprightly today, by the way. Melvin Gordon led the team in fantasy points today. 10 rushes, 32 yards.

Two catches, 23 yards. How many points? How many points? Six and a half. Six and a half points for, for Melvin. Gordon. Nagy Harris today, six and a half. I think Gordon was on a practice squad like yesterday.

The fact that we have to have this conversation is proof Naji Harris is going to get burned. Naji Harris, you're in the burn book. Sorry. You seem like a nice guy. He does. He does, actually. That's the problem. Yeah, he's great.

I think that's the thing is Pittsburgh fans love him. All right, that's what we got. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, D.K. Thank you, producer Carlos. Thank you, Lorne. Lord. Taylor Swift.

Go check out her new movie. No, you've done her before. Usher is doing the halftime show. Yeah, Usher. But like, dude, have you ever seen anyone get buried? Like, Usher at the halftime show? You're not even, like, close to the most famous musician associated with the NFL today. No one's talking about Usher.

It feels like he was low on the list. Let's be real. Yeah. What do you guys feel about Usher? So I can't remember who I saw this, but they were tweeting about how he's sort of in between generations and not as famous as, like any other Super Bowl act, it's not going to resonate at all with the boomers and it's not really going to resonate with the Zoomers.

Who's he for? Us. He's for us. He's for people who were like around 30 years old, I think. I don't know. I mean, I like, I'm 41 and, or I'm almost 41, and he was, like, huge for me in, like, college and stuff. So, yeah, I get it.

I think there are two types of Super Bowl performers. One type is, like, the Rihanna, the Taylor Swift, where they don't need a guest and it's still going to be an awesome show. There doesn't need to be a surprise appearance. Usher to me is like he needs to bring people out. Who do you got? Who's he going to bring up? He needs to bring a couple people out. I don't know. Pitbull

maybe for he's got a couple Pitbull songs. Whatever. Whatever it takes. I'm... Little John? Yeah. Pit bull? I think the funniest song in the world is Hotel Room Service by Pitbull. We at the hotel, motel.

Holiday is. Yeah. The funniest song. Trying to like coax two women ended having a threesome by being like, hey, I got holiday in money. So a lot of Usher's music is like a little bit slower. It's like kind of like, it's like climax and confessions and stuff like that, you know? Well, he's got, yeah.

A bit more R&B. Yeah, I mean, that's a great one. He's got a lot of like, DJ got his falling in love. Oh, my God. Oh, my God is the definition of a song that's like, it's good, but it's not great. Like, I don't think you do oh my God at the Super Bowl halftime show, can you? It's like, it's fine. He will.

Yeah, I guess it's like, yeah, it's there. Usher's good. The problems were the only ones we're going to talk about Usher. We're talking ourselves into it. I know they went after Swift. She turned it down. Then I saw on Twitter that they were going after

Miley Cyrus and Harry Styles turned it down. So I wonder how low- I'm shocked they would go after Miley. Just Janet Jackson was 20 years ago. I don't know. They were-scarine-jointed showed one boob

and then they went to only dudes over 60 for like a decade. They've done Katie Perry, Lady Gaga. They just said Rihanna. What are you talking about? Yeah, but that was a reaction. that was they took him a decade to go back to that.

So why are you shocked that they were going after Miley now? I love Miley, but I'm surprised that older dudes don't see her as a wild... She's a loose canon? Yeah, the older suits making these decisions don't see her as a loose canon. What is she like three years younger than Rihanna? I don't know. It's not that different. I don't know. I love Miley.

All right. Well, we've got to start listening to Usher. We've got six months. Email serenianfansy Football at gmail.com. A few thoughts on Usher or Swift or whatever. Good call on the whole relationship being fake, right? Do you think Donna Kelsey's going to be upset? Come on, people.

Wake up. Wake up. Donna's going to be upset. Come on. Travis Kelsey, Taylor Swift? No way. Goodbye, everyone.