The Ringer NFL Show - Who Will the Next Brock Purdy Be? Finding Draft Gems for 2023.

Episode Date: April 11, 2023

Today, the guys open by briefly discussing what the Carolina Panthers will do with the no. 1 overall pick (1:43). Next, they highlight a handful of potential mid- to late-round sleepers from this year’s draft class by comparing them to their first-round counterparts (5:52). Finally, they close with a few emails (52:50). Jaren Hall, QB (7:22) Dorian Thompson-Robinson, QB (12:08) Marvin Mims, WR (14:42) Jayden Reed, WR (18:32) Tyler Scott, WR (21:05) Sam LaPorta and Tucker Kraft, TE (24:26) BJ Ojulari, Edge (30:14) YaYa Diaby, Edge (34:30) Zach Harrison, DE (38:50) Adetomiwa Adebawore, DL (30:02) Keeanu Benton, DT (45:35) Check out our 2023 Ringer NFL Draft Guide here! Email us! [e-mail] Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, Ben Solak, Craig Horlbeck Producers: Craig Horlbeck and Kai Grady Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What's up everybody? It's Austin Rivers from the Minnesota Timberwolves. It's a new year and I have a new podcast here at the Ringer, Offguard, hosted by me and my guide, Pasha Higigi. Austin and I go way back and talk so much hoop already that we figure those time to fire up the mics and let you in on all of these conversations. Every week, Pasha and I will hit on the biggest stories happening in the league.

And get Austin's perspective of someone currently hooping in the NBA. Tap into Offguard every Friday on the Ringer NBA show fee on Spotify or wherever you get your podcast. Draft show, my name is Danny Huythas. I am joined by Danny Kelly, Benzlick, and Craig Krollbeck. And as always, you can go to nfldraft. Dot the ringer.com. Updating DK.'s big board this week to 85 players.

If you go to NFLDraft.orghum, you can see the heart stopping, pants dropping, hard rocking, booty shaking, lovemaking, earthquakes, viagraking, justifying, death-defying, legendary. Ringer, draft guide, NFLDraft.orghum. What was that? It's Bruce Springsteen. I saw Springsteen in concert this week. This is just a clear divide of who has and has not seen Springsteen.

That was intense. All right, no, you have. Okay, well, we'll just move on. Anyway, we've talked a lot about the guys who are going to go in the first round this year, really, this whole podcast. And we wanted to give a little love today to the later round gems, the Brock Purdy's. The Travis Kelsey's, the Stefan digs is. But really, the Brock Purdy's, the guys going in the later rounds, who might be better than the dudes going one, two, five rounds earlier, whatever. So we're going to talk about that.

Right off the top here, DK. Solock, I want both of you, but DK. First, if you had to, right now, what is it? April 11th? April 11th, you have to pick right now, do or die. Are the Carolina Panthers going to take C.J. Stroud from Ohio State or Bryce Young or Brice Young? First overall. What's going to happen? I have no good reason for believing this, but I refuse to believe that they're taking Bryce Young. It's completely flipped the last like three days to Bryce Young. like it's the smoke is all Bryce Young, Bryce Young, Bryce Young, that's all you hear. And now all the mocks are saying that I think both Schaefter and Mortensen are saying it's Bryce Young. I refuse to believe. I'm sticking with Stroud. Is your refusal personal? Like you don't believe Bryce Young should be the number one overall pick or you just think this is a giant misdirect.

I really don't know why. I just refuse to believe it. I don't have like a strong reason. It's just for some reason I'm like, I can't believe this. It's too, it feels too weird. But we'll see. that's how I felt about chemtrails so it's the same exact logic right just something in my gut that tells me that the earth is flat

and I can't get away from it so lack 80% chance it's young that would be what I would say at this time the remaining 20% chance is like the Panthers are smoke screening young because they want to see if the Texans will trade them

to move up to one to go get young and then they'll stay at two and take Stroud and they'll get picks and Young is still coming into the building to visit this week and Stroud's coming in to visit next week and all we haven't decided anything and how involves David Tapper blah blah blah blah blah but 80% I think it's bright show I it's that smoke's just been coming and coming and coming over last week or so I buy it so where's my question we were basically so the Panthers traded up to one and they we heard they wanted stroud and then there was this thing that's been floated that the Panthers wanted. So apparently,

there's a strong belief that the Texans are really into Bryce Young, whether that's Nick Casarra, the front office connection to Alabama and Saban, or it's D'Amico Ryan's, the head coach, being an Alabama guy, connection to Bryce Young, strong belief that Bryce Young to Texans. And so there was a strong belief that the Panthers wanted convince the Texans. They wanted Bryce Young, so the Panthers would trade up like a third round pick to over, and then just the Panthers could take Stroud anyway. So now the Panthers are convincing people they want Bryce Young. Isn't this what we said would happen a few weeks ago?

Why do we believe this? That it's coming out now, so like, we said that the Texans would, that the Panthers were going to pretend they want Bryce Young, and now they're pretending they want Bryce Young, right? I don't know about this whole we said this. I don't know. I've never been of the mind that like the Panthers were going to do a gamesmanship thing. My read on when they moved up was that they, you know,

and this was a metaphor that that was made on ESPN with the whole Mac Jones, who moved up to three for the Niners a couple years ago. but my read when they moved up was that they knew they had at least one dude that they liked enough to take it this time and at the time was CJ Stroud and the further and further we got away from the Panthers trade the like in terms like people that I was talking to when they moved up they were like oh yeah they moved up thinking they were going to take CJ and then like a week later it's like well when they moved up they thought they were going to take CJ and then like a month later it's like well when they moved up they thought they were going to take CJ and like eight weeks later

when they moved up it's like okay if they haven't decided yet then it's CJ it can't kind of feels like it's maybe somebody else. And now you've seen this, this big explosion of Bryce Young money in the markets and the sports books have moved. I think that they, over the course of the process, over meeting with Bryce Young before his pro day, and now they're meeting with him again this week.

I think they've become enamored with him and that he's the big of one. I don't have a logical reason for not believing this. I think it's, for whatever reason, I'm just like the whole way that it's switched so dramatically over the last few days, I'm just like, I don't buy it. It's bullshit.

Maybe it's so marketing. They're getting greedy. It's probably true. They got a trade up to one and they're like, hey, what if we have our cake and eat it two? We get Stroud at two now and convince the Texans to trade up to one for Bryce Young. All right. We're going to be talking about who goes first for the rest of the month. Let's get to the Jeep up guys.

I figure, yeah. Well, we're doing it twice a week, so probably. All right. Name brand off brand. Again, we're going to go find this year's Brock Birdie. So is that a little ridiculous and disingenuous? Maybe. but it's also what you want and you know it.

So, DK, in this absolutely ridiculous scenario where we just find another guy who goes last in the draft or whatever who just magically becomes like a starting quarterback and slash cult leader for like the NFC favorites, which quarterback from this year's draft class, if I told you, if I came from the future and said one of the quarterbacks who's not a guy we've been talking about at all the quarterback position outside the top five prospects this year,

that's going to like, as a rookie, be the most productive and successful rookie for a playoff team. Which quarterback? Slash quarterback leader. Slash golden. You didn't really frame it that way when we were prepping for this podcast, but that's okay. First of all, there is no other Brock Purdy. There's only one Brock Purdy.

He's one of one. He's elite. I just want to put that out there and say that and get that on the record before I say this. But in terms of... That's good. Because the Brock Colt will come after you if you don't say that. We got to be careful on how many 49ers fans said that they'd rather have Brock Bernie than Tom Brady?

There was a bar owner who we spoke to who said, I'd rather have Brock Brady than Tom Brady to our face. Brock Pretty just wins games, guys. I don't know what Tom Brady. He wins games, man. He wins like seven games. He wins anywhere from like six to nine total days. Straight games.

How could you argue with it, you know? So I think that there are, so the way that I looked at is more like, this is a guy that could come in and be a spot starter for a team and like be somewhat impressive doing that. And I thought of Jaron Hall from BYU. I don't think he has high level starting traits, but he is mobile.

He could come in and kind of be like a poor man's version of Jalen Hertz where he can do a little bit in the run game. He's got a good enough arm, accurate enough arm, can do enough out of structure to run an offense. Again, I don't think he's like a starter necessarily, but I think he has sort of the mindset

and the traits to come in and be a spot starter and and keep the offense kind of like a float if if the starter goes down. So that's how I'm looking at this question. I wasn't necessarily, I think if it's you framed it as like a guy who could come in and like keep a good like a playoff team of flow. I don't know about that. But I think he can come in as a Hall of Famer after his rookie year. Like the fan base immediately falls in love at them.

No, I think Jaron Hall to me is just like a great version of a backup that could come in and keep the offensive float. I like that he's old. I like an old backup because it makes me think they're mature and they can handle it. You know what I mean? He's 25 years old. Hendon Hooker over here. Yeah, there you go.

There's a backup. I don't want him as my starter. Wait, actually, while we're on that exact note, we got an email from Dave about Hendon Hooker who basically asked, Dave, if all the smart, Dave, of all the people, including us, talking about NFL contracts, are saying that the best team building strategy is to maximize the rookie quarterback contract because those four or five years are really cheap. Why are we obsessed with young quarterbacks and why are we discounting old quarterbacks?

And Dave basically writes, if you're truly planning a winning during the first four or five years, wouldn't you want the quarterback who was the most, experience and it's physically the furthest along in his development, wouldn't the ultimate strategy to have a player in his prime years for as cheap as possible? So why are we out on Hendenhooker? So like you're the preeminent Henn and Hector Hader. He may be in his prime, but isn't his prime just worse than other players? Yeah.

That's the problem. He's in his prime. Right. There's just one problem, happy. Yeah. His prime isn't any good. Now, Craig, I would encourage you to be careful over there as a proprietor of Kenny Pickett's stock, all right?

You don't want to get too far over your skis. terms of old players, guys who only become successful in college when they're like three years older than all of their opponents, et cetera, et cetera. I have a diversified portfolio. I don't own a ton of picket stuff. Let's just say that. A little bit. Very good. Very smart. Right. So there's wisdom to what Dave is saying, right? He's saying, in a world in which we want our starting quarterback to be on a rookie contract because of the competitive advantage that it provides, why wouldn't we want that guy to be older? And to a degree like, yes, physical prime is nice. I would say that, you know, 25 versus 22, like, I don't think it's that measurable

the difference. I'm not worried about, like, drafting a 21-year-old and then, like, oh, he's going to, what, like, grow three inches and it's going to change his game? Like, that's not something that I'm super concerned about. If that 21-year-old or that 25-year-old have taken the same number of snaps, reps, throws at the college level, then developmentally, they could be at the same place. And then, to me, there's not much of a difference. The issue, though, the primary problem with Dave's world is this. If we... Dave's world.

It's the problem world that Dave's living in. Dave. Fucking idiot. I apologize. Fantasy life he's living. Wake up, Dave. I'm sorry.

I feel very poorly now. I'm sorry, Dave. We don't yet have in the NFL the consistent responsive teams like drafts quarterback playing for the rookie deal and then let him leave. Drafts quarterback playing on the rookie deal and let him leave.

Invariably, if your quarterback is good on the rookie deal, you're going to be expected to want to have huge fan pressure to sign them to the second contract. And then you run into the issue of, okay, Head and Hooker's on a second contract and he's 30, whereas Anthony Richardson's on a second contract, he's 25. That's the main problem you're running into. If you were always successfully just, oh, five years later, new quarterback, five years later, new first round quarterback, then sure, but that's not the way the NFL works.

Not yet, and I don't think not ever. So it makes it hard to kind of say, oh, just draft an old rookie, draft an old draft player, and your band as a rookie, playing for five years to keep doing that. And I don't think it's tenable. Dave. That being said, Jaron Hall, he's old.

And he's a good backup. I kind of compared him a little bit to Tyler Huntley in some ways. Like, you know, he can go to a Pro Bowl as an alter as like an eighth alternate. And that'd be fine. But I don't think you're actually like designing your franchise around him type of player. Like a guy who could come in,

run around a little bit, make some throws. He had a 52 to 11 touchdown to interception ratio in college, like very productive. He's known as a leader. Everybody rallies around him. he's married. He has at least one kid.

He knows he's got his life together. He's got a shit together. Yeah, guys with kids, they want to keep cashing in paychecks, all right? Mature. They have to. Show up in the building. Yeah, come on.

All right. Any of the Brock Purdy candidates before we keep going here? I wrote down Dorian Thompson, I was a quarterback out of UCLA. He's the guy from a, has a quick release, has the movement skills.

He's a much better runner than Purdy. He can be a legit dual threat guy. But if you tell me, like, hey, a sixth round, seventh round UDFA guy starts and wins a few games in this class, I'm betting on DTR. Hyper competitive, ton of experience. Yeah, he's going to throw picks.

He's going to have fumble. He's going to have a knucklehead plays. Absolutely. But like that zip your release, get the ball out, enough armed talent to work the field and then the movement skills, DTR, if he ends up on a team where they know how to use mobile quarterbacks,

he's got to play, I'm confident he can win a few games, the NFL level. Size and durability, I don't think he's a long-term guy, but sure. From a cult perspective, it's obviously he's destined to bet. There's no question. My mind.

Stetszeman is the next property. He's got to be. You just know that Stetson Bennett is going to get some QB3 starting reps for the dolphins or something. And he's going to walk out there and just, you know, like when Huyves at the table, he was like, all for, you know, playoff run immortalized into the Hall of Fame. Like, yeah, that's Bennett. Bennett's going to walk into an NFL wildcard field and be like, this is small potatoes, brother. I'm all about this. Four touchdowns.

It's Bennett by a mile. If there's anybody that the fan base is going to side with over Tom Brady at Stets. said Bennett. God damn it. You're so right. That makes so much sense. The cult grows. He's the next Tom Brady,

some we're saying. Many are saying this. I still always think about how Jalen Hertz's Super Bowl quarterback is younger than Stetson Bennett college football championship. It's unbelievable. All right.

While we're talking about future Brock Purdy, let's also get to some other like name brand store brand guys. Because again, we've been talking a lot about the first rounders this year. We wanted to kind of highlight, you know, really the Costco version of a lot of those name brand because let's be real. Like there's only, you know, one Will Anderson, but there's a lot of teams that need pass rushers.

And so there's these guys in the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh rounds. So, DKKK,Ki, give us a name brand guy that we've been talking about and then give us the Costco version. Sometimes Kirkland's just better. You know what I mean? I'm just going to say it. Sometimes the Kirkland brand is just simply better. Kirkland Brown whiskey is really good.

Sox. I've got Amazon, I've got Amazon basics batteries here. We are not a Daryl family. We're not an inner-s-family. It's a nice box. And then I got Trader Joe's Oreos, which they called Jojo's. We have those downstairs, the chocolate cover ones, it's not like it's coffee. We have vanilla ones because my wife hates me, but they're pretty good.

I don't mind it. I don't feel like I'm missing Oreos when I'm eating out. Wow. So there. Yeah. So that's what I'll be snacking on during the show. Jojos are awesome. D.K., give us the Jojo's versus Oreos.

Yeah, yeah. So the name brand here is Jalen Hyatt, the Litnikov winner from Tennessee, led the country in touchdowns. last year. And then the store brand, Kirkland brand version of Jalen Hyatt, you could probably get in the third round. For me,

is Marvin Mims, wide receiver from Oklahoma. They're roughly the same size. Mims is a little bit shorter, but he's a little bit heavier. If you look at some of their athletic testing numbers, they're very, very similar.

And Mims actually was a little bit faster, which is kind of crazy thinking about because Hyatt's known for his speed. Remember when people were trying to say, hi, I was going to run a 4-2? I knew. And then no, no, no.

But anyway, that's not right now. Both of them are field stretchers, top end speed, burst. They both are skinny and lack play strength. They're both, I think, knocked for lack of route diversity and precision. And they're both knocked a little bit for the types of offenses. They play in the spread offenses and sort of like the limitations that brings. But I mean, if you look at athletic testing, size, all that stuff, the role that they're going to play,

I think you can definitely get like an off-brand version with Marvin Mims a little bit later. Because it sounds like high it might have to get. He's going to either go in the late first round or early second. probably. And I think Warren Mems is more likely the third round, potentially a little bit later even. I don't know. We'll see how much the NFL loves this guy. Late round wide receivers seem to pop, right? I wanted to ask you guys, which positions in the later rounds pop the most? So I would say the first answer for sure is offensive line. You know, offensive line is such a spot where you can kind of plug and chugging a guy.

All right, you have 35 starts and your NFL sized. You can hang a left guard. And like a lot of the times that's true. So that's a spot where you see it a ton. I think you see a lot of wide receivers because there's so many wide receivers, right? The pool is really big. The same is true of running backs. Where like every sixth round running back is like 511, 205, has a thousand career carries,

can run a 4 or 5. All these guys are functional, right? Just kind of who gets opportunities who has kind of the little stuff who can stay healthy. So the positions that have really deep pools, I think you find successful as well in those later round picks. Our friend Billy Barnwell had a PCDSPN this week on Bishop Robinson.

William. First run running backs, Willie Boy. And he had a great chart in the story that was basically premium players on the playoff teams in this year's playoffs. And basically how many of them were like premier players, like first run picks versus late round. And the positions where it was the like the starters were basically the most like later round picks were really clearly it was guard lined back.

or a cornerbacker actually. There were 11 key cornerbacks in the playoffs this year that were, I mean, and seven of them are on the Kansas City Chiefs. Yeah. So it's kind of weird, but, but yeah, I feel like cornerback and guard. What's a,

what's a name brand that like everybody loves to share how much they love the name brand? Is it like, like, like, how people are like, oh, I go shop at Costco and like, you know, if you go get the Costco this and the Costco, that's really good.

Like, I don't know good. I'm Craig shaking his head. I know, this is a question pretty much directed to Craig. No, there's incredibly loud construction going on where I live, and I'm so annoyed that I didn't anticipate this happening. So I apologize if anybody hears a...

It's like if it sounds like there's a drill in your ear, that's coming from me. I apologize. The moral story is this. Marvin Mims is that guy where, like, I feel I can't go... Yeah. One skill position player article, I can't go 10 tweets without seeing,

oh, you know what I really like? And then the rounds is Marvin Mims cat. And I get it. He's very likable. He's a top 10. receiver for me. He's a good player. What round are we talking about, DK? Where if your team grab Marvin Mims, you should be like, oh my God, wow, we got to steal third round, fourth round. Yeah, third round, I think is a solid place for him.

All right, boom. So, Lack, got a name brand store brown receiver for us, Oreo versus Jojo. So like I said, yeah, like Marvin Mims is a top 10 grade for me at wide receiver a wide receiver. Another top 10 grade for me is Michigan statewide receiver Jaden Reed, which to me is the off brand version of UNC wide receiver Josh Downs. Now, this is a little bit tricky because like I don't even know if Josh Downland's actually going to go that much earlier than Jaden Reed is. He's had a weird pre-draft process. Dude, did you see

Schepter tweeted that he's got no 30 visits from any teams and then Brewer quote tweeted it. Yeah, Breer quote tweeted he was like, this is irregular for a potential top 100 pick and I was like potential top 100. I thought he was going like top 50. What are we? So I don't know, maybe the league is super out on Josh Downs

and I'm crazy. But regardless, if you've watched any UNC in North Carolina where Downs plays, you've seen, okay, he's a smallish guy, right? He's 5-10, 170 pounds. He's another one of these super small receivers in his class, but he's wicked quick. And what's really impressive is that he's very tough in contested catch situations, right? He'll go up and get it. He'll fight for it. He's got impressive ball tracking. That's the thing about Jaden Reed that also really stands out of Michigan State. You honestly didn't see it too much

from Downs at UNC because his quarterback, Drake May, can throw like an actually functional accurate football. Michigan State, man. Jane and Reed was out there with a radar trying to find some of these passes. They did not have a real offense. He was banged up this year, but you go and watch some 2021 film. This guy's 5, 10, a buck, 80, making impressive climb the ladder catches.

Remember that bigger corners against Ohio State, fighting for positioning, jockeying out, boxing out, getting up. Like the catch radius on both Reed and Downs, really impressive for smaller players. Downs a little bit looser, a little bit quicker, a little bit more free-flowing, right? So you're going to get those like head fakes that like KJ Hamler in the slot.

John Dotson in the slot sort of experience. Reid probably has to play a little bit more outside and in size. He's not as loose. But in terms of guys who bring you speed, they bring you quickness, they bring you separation in the route tree. But then all of a sudden they're like making huge leaping catches 25 yards down the field. Jane Reed knock a couple rounds off of Josh Downs.

You go get yourself. I think what can be a starting receiver, not like a high end receiver, but a starting receiver round three, round four. Like Jane and Reid. Little Kroger ibuprofen, Jane and Reed. The Zyrtec, The allergy relief.

That's my name brand stormord thing. I couldn't go out without the allergy relief. It's like whatever the green bottle of CVS is next to the Zyrtec. Is the name brand. Well, Zyrtex the name brand. But whatever's next to Zyrtec, I think it's just called allergy relief. And even if it has a name. It's like Jada Reel.

CVS brand allergy relief. Yeah, Michigan State colors. Nice. Go green. DK, what's your Zyrtec CVS allergy relief? Sticking with the receiver position. I really like that one, by the way. I like Jane Reed a lot.

The name brand guy, a lot of hype. and Buzz for a round one is Zay Flowers out of Boston College. And Ben, I know we're both very high on him. If you're looking for the off-brand... Pod where I got you on the Zay trade made me so happy. By the end of it, D-K, I was like, I'm fine. He's a round one player. His off-brand version, which you could probably get in, like,

the third round, is wide receiver Tyler Scott out of Cincinnati. Looking at their RAS, the relative athletic score, they're pretty darn close. Five-nine. They're both five-nine, around 180 pounds. They both run, like, a 4-4-2. They're basically all their athletic measurables are very similar. They're both undersized speedsters.

They both played outside in college and maybe fit better on the inside at the pros. They're both explosive after the catch. They both create yards after the catch. And both of them have some drops that you'll be a little bit concerned about. But like at the end of the day, very similar role. I think that at the next level, Scott, in fact, was a former running back in high school. And so like he basically turns into a running back. kind of the catch. I really like that.

Yeah, basically just looking at all the way down through all their stats. They're just like very similar. Yards per route, run, drop rate, contested catch rate. They're all very similar. Mistackles force very close. Yards after the catch per reception, very similar. So he's basically just like a slightly less,

I think popular and slightly less refined version of Zayflowers. He's also younger. You said Tyler Scott was a running back in high school. He caught like 10 passes in high school. Yeah. That just sounds like, isn't that like what Brandon Ayuk was? It just feels like a Kyle Shanahan. They have three picks at the end of the third round

and just feel like he's like a future 49er. We need to not have any more players go to the 49ers. That's my main. No more players. The 49ers don't get to make any more picks. Don't give them many players. I don't want any more players on that. Nerf the 49ers.

I'll say this. Like we said, oh, Marvin Mems, maybe in the third round. Jane Reid, maybe in the third round. I'm not sure Tyler Scott makes you the third round. Just off like off of the second round possibly. Yeah, like off of the film, off of like kind of where some of the NFL insiders talk about him. And then the speed aspect of things, right?

Like, read, like you said, MIMS is faster than high, but, like, Scott legit has, like, film and testing of, like, this could be a field stretching player. And, like, I think about, like, where type one foreign went last year, we were all like, whoa, like, it's just that speed tends to get drafted earlier than your thing. So Scott, I'm not so sure. This is a pricey name brand.

This is not usual, you know, discount here. You've got to pay a little more for this name brand or off brand. I keep forgetting which one's which. Yeah. If Zay Flowers was a bourbon, what bourbon? is he? I don't know. I don't drink bourbon that much.

I thought you were a whiskey guy. I'm like an Irish whiskey. But he's like a four, like a four roses or something, like a solid whiskey. So it sounds like you thought Tyler Scott was like, you know,

maybe lower and so like saying, no, he's like a mid shelf. Midshelf whiskey. Right. He's like a bullet. Nice. Oh, wow.

There you go. Yeah, that's like perfect. You're like, if they have bullet. Like if Zayflowers is Basil Hayden. That's howder Scott is bullet. I don't know. I'm not very good. I don't drink a lot of bourbon. I'm more like a, I'm

Scotch and Irish whiskey. I just got a basil Hayden whiskey. I've never had. There you go. D.K. is just a double Jameson guy. Yeah. All right. Speaking of what you give us a little tight end two for here, D.K. All right. So Dalton Kincaid, getting tons of buzz is like a mid first round pick. The store brand version, the off brand version of Dalton Kincaid in my mind is Sam LaPorte from Iowa, who is also a move tight end. He's a little. bit. They're both undersized slightly for like the prototypical tight end in the NFL. Both were primary

pass catchers for their teams. Both are very good at creating guards after the catch. Both break a lot of tackles. Leporta, I don't think is quite as dynamic and fluid as a route runner, but you're getting a slightly off-brand version of it with Leporta. I think he's still going to be

probably, it obviously depends on where he lands, but I think he has a chance to be like a high volume pass catcher in the NFL. Maybe not on the same level as Kincaid, not as dynamic. a good player and you can get him, I guess, in the third round versus the first round. Where do you think Leporta's going to go, Ben? 70. Yeah, there we go.

Let's see you guys that big. What's with Iowa and the tight ends? So let me get this straight. Iowa has good defense. Their quarterbacks always suck and they have had good tight ends so that all the good tight ends go to Iowa and they're like, listen, if you just work out, you don't even have to catch any passage. You'll get drafted really high. Is it like a Ponzi scheme for tight ends?

They've had three good ones and then a bunch of ones that can just get drafted high. It's like, are these guys good or not? They're good. This is how recruiting works. If you're a good high school recruit, you go to the place that sends players to the NFL. Iowa has had George Kittle. They've had no fan. They've had T.J. Hawkinson.

Dallas Clark going way back. So obviously, if you're a like a big-time recruit, I don't know if Leporta was like a big-time recruit, but he was a good recruit, you go to the place that's sending people to the NFL. So it makes a lot of sense. They also like, like spread big 12 offenses. the tight ends that are on those teams are not NFL-sized players. They're 240, they're 235-240. They're H-backs.

They don't run real routes. They don't do real blocks. Iowa runs outside zone. Like, they run NFL stuff with NFL-sized players. And so, like, you just, for the tight-end position, it's just hard, like, you kind of are precluded to offense that at least have some NFL-ishness to them. Georgia, the way they run the football.

Oregon State is a wide-zone team. Like, those guys are inherently going to get pushed up a little bit. versus your old dominion Zach Coontz who has like 12 catches and can just jump really high and we're like yeah I guess we'll draft him it's such a bigger projection. Probably going to go like in the third round

just because Sam Laporte he actually this blew my mind. He had the second most receiving touchdowns in the history of Illinois State football but he didn't really get recruited because he was small. He was like 6'3. So that's technically pretty undersized

but strong hands like really really tough after the catch. He just refuses to go down. He actually, he forced 20 miss tackles, according to PFF, which was second most in the country at tight end. He ranked third in the country in yards after the catch. He also, by the way, ran 20% of his routes from the outside, from out wide, which was

tops among all tight ends this year, all qualifying tight ends. So move them all around the formation, let him do work. Again, he's not like the most dynamic. I like Kincaid more. But I think he's definitely a discount version that is going to be a productive pro. See, this is why, like, to me, Leporta is knock off Michael Mayer, not so much Kincaid. Because Kincaid was, like, in the slot, vertical routes, dynamic athlete, like, bang, moving around, right?

We have, we, as D.K. and I very famously said, he's not Travis Kelsey. Don't put it in the newspaper that we said he's Travis Kelsey. We're not saying that. However, whereas Leporta, to me, is very much so, like, solid, Eddie steady, like, D.K. brought up, like, great hands, refused to go down, played a little bit outside as a high target share, right? like he was a big part of Iowa's passing offense. That's mayor.

We're like mayor, they would move mayor around, line him up in the outside to get matches and then they'd run the passing offense through him. And he's got, and he's not the most dynamic athlete, but he's got the great hands. He got the leverage ability.

And so to me, like I view mayor and Leporta in more similar buckets than I view Kincaid and Leporta. But this is why tight end is really hard. It's because like the guys will get used in college way differently than they get used in the NFL and their body types and the weight that they carry, we'll go up and it'll go down.

Such a versatile position that it's hard to nail dudes down. The only reason I didn't see him similar to mayor is because mayor to me is sort of just like from central casting as a wide tight end. Like he's going to line up in line. He's good at blocking. And Leporta's smaller. And Leporta is more of a move guy. He was like the most frequently out wide.

Like, you know, just the way that they utilized him was different. I didn't think he was like a great blocker. Like he's a try hard blocker, but I think mayor was a much better blocker. But yeah, like the type. Right-end position is an interesting one because, you know, you got guys playing the same position, but, like, they're both, quote-unquote, tight ends. But, like, it depends on the team and what kind of role they want to, like, will, Dika, your store brand for Michael Mayer. And again, Michael Mayer and Dalton Cicator probably both first-run picture. Your store brand for Michael Mayor was Tucker Kraft, right, from South Dakota State.

Craig's hated South Dakota State. Go Jack Rabbits. Yeah. The wrong SDS. Right. Yeah. I mean, like, Kraft is sort of, again, he's in the mold of like a prototypical Y tight end size-wise. Like he's a gritty blocker, not super dynamic athlete, but just can kind of get up to see him and he's big and strong and physical.

So he to me, he was closer to mayor to me. But again, it just depends on where these guys land and how the NFL, whichever team decides to use them. Soak, you threw out one for Nolan Smith because I feel like the Eagles or a team that might take Nolan Smith. And I'm curious if the Eagles decide we're going to. to come back around, take someone else other than Nolan Smith, who should they be looking at? LSU Edge, BJ Ojollari. BJ is brothers with Aziz. Ziaz Ojolari, who is an edge at Georgia.

My former guy. Yeah, to bring it all full circle. Nolan comes in undersized, right? It's the whole thing with him. Okay, incredible speed. We ran the 4-39, incredible jumps. But he's under 6'3 and he's under 240 pounds. This is, like, this guy's got to go play receiver.

Like, this is not big enough to be on the edge. That's going to be the concern for, NFL teams. Oja Lari came in 10 pounds heavier, right? So he's under 6-3, but he's 248. Okay? And so he's still definitely like three, four outside linebacker size. He's not like hand in the dirt defensive end size.

You don't have as big of size concerns with B.J. And then the other thing, which I think is like critical for B.J. He's got long arms and huge mitts. He's got, he's got two inches more on his arms and he's got 10.5 inch hands. So while he is undersized, he is thinner. think he can put a lot of a weight on his frame anymore. He's got big levers, man, and he understands how to use him. And then he has explosiveness to him. He's a great broad jump. He's a great first step, whatever. So we have two, we have two guys who are going to play three or four outside linebacker.

They're going to win in the pass rush on their first step. And then when they get to the tackle, when they get to contact, they start to differ a little bit. B.J. is definitely a little bit more polished as a pass rusher right now in terms of like working counters, working his hands and whatever. Nolan's just kind of figuring it out. But Nolan's a great athlete. So you get it done. So here they're very similar. Where they do differ is the running game. Nolan Smith, who's again, 238 pounds, Jesse is the little engine that could, man.

I mean, he's unbelievable against the run in terms of how well he plays at his diminished size. BJ, take a playoff and sit on a block. Oh, it's a running play. I'm not super interested in this one. And that's where the comparison ends a little bit. But if we're talking pass rush impact, you're a team that runs a 3-4,

and you want a speedy outside rusher. you're sitting there watching Nolan Smith, you know, you're the Baltimore Ravens seeing him come down. You're the, not Atlanta anymore. That's Dean Peas. You're the, you know, Seattle, Seahawks, whatever. You're watching Nolan Smith move on the board. And then he goes, go, shoot, scratch him off. By the time the clock comes back to you for the next round,

I think BJ O'Dar is a round two player. He's the name that you have circled to that same position, that same role, the speed rusher, that outside standup rusher wide from line of scrimmage, BJ O'Lar is the guy. Aziz has been pretty good, right? Hyfitz. He's solid. He kind of, he was the Zoolander coming out.

He had one move. And it really helped to have Kavon Tibido. If you could get Aziz Ojolari's interest in defending the run into B.J. Ojolari's body, who, babe, we'd be cooking. That's a whole edge rusher right there. Well, sometimes you've got a brother to do that so you don't do it. Like, my brother is the directions guy. So I don't do directions.

I don't know where I'm going. My brother has never, my brother's known where True North was every moment of his life for 20 years. And so I just don't. And, you know, if your older brother defends the run, why would you? People who live in cities and don't know. the compass rose drive me insane. Insane. What are you doing? It's how the city's organized.

I heard that it's genetic. There's a certain gene you have to have for like having spatial awareness. Everybody's saying it's genetic is a coward who doesn't want to do it. Yeah, I'm a coward. I suck it directions. Dude, I'll walk around in circles for four hours and not know where the fuck I am. But it's not my fault is the key. My now wife, the first time we ever got into like, not even like a real fight,

just like a decent bickering argument was walking around Chicago where she couldn't tell which way north was. And I was like, Mayor, where's the lake? And she was like, what do you mean? Where's the lake? I was like, figure out where the lake is. She was like, how I'm supposed to know. I was like, see the part of the sky that doesn't have buildings?

That's the lake. And then that didn't go over well. That wasn't good. And then you're like, why would I need to know? Like, so you didn't get voices. Oh, it drives you crazy. Solek is the, so lack is wearing like a salmon pink shirt in his face is that turned to the same color.

Struck a nerve. Fires me up, man. Honestly, the only time I see that color is when Mike Tannenbaum puts Hendon Hooker as the top five back in a mock draft. The tanks are out of control you guys. I'm in my happy place. The Eagles are winning the Super Bowl against the Patriots for Intergram Shripzak. I'm fine. You're happy.

D.K., give us a store brand, name brand. Name brand store brand. I'm hoping that Solek will appreciate this one because I know he's not as high on Lucas Van Ness as many. I hate it. Sorry, God. Okay. So Iowa, Eddrusher, Lucas Van Ness, Ness, I think broadly considered to be

mid to early first round pick. Big power rusher with a lot of length, potential, maybe a little less production than you'd like. My off-brand version of Lucas Van Ness is Louisville edge rusher, Yaya Diabhi, who is

similar-styled player, like power rusher, quick off the snap, has good length, and I think a lot of past rush potential, but maybe not quite as realized. and I actually looked at their stats. They both played 13 games. They both played almost the identical number of snaps.

If you look at the tail of the tape, they're very similar basically across the board. However, Diabi played heads up on tackles. So he's playing like a four, four eye. I don't even know. But like more inside versus like on the outside where Van Ness got like way more snaps as just like a pure pass rusher.

And so I think Diabi has a lot of potential if they kind of move him around. Maybe he might lose a little bit of weight and play on the edge in the NFL because he was a really good tester. He ran a 451. 151 10-yard split, which I think was second only to Nolan Smith

at the combine. So he has that twitch, that get-off, that you really look for, a pass-rratcher on the edge. And he's good size. He's like 6-3-263. So to me, he's the type of guy to take a chance on in, like, the third round.

Why is he a third-rounder? I mean, he just, his production wasn't awesome. He was playing, I think, a little bit out of position, like on the interior. I would rather have him play on the edge and see what he could do out there. But yeah, I don't know.

I think he's just an underrated guy. You can see him rise in the process because he's really athletic really long and I think he just has a ton of potential. He's a little bit older than Van Ness. I think that's one thing that might turn teams off too. He also is a zero-star recruit. I don't know that. But the answer is this.

There's nothing wrong with him. It's the problem. This is where players like this should go. There's wrong with him. This is where Lucas Van Ness should also be. They should be in the same area. But it said one was in the first round. Well, did Lucas Venice didn't start at Iowa?

And are we like that's because he's bad or because Iowa is just a weird school? And that pretends it's 1960 and you don't play until you're a junior. Well, Lucas Vanessa also, they told us they were like, unbelievable, incredible, athletic potential. And then he tested good. And nobody updates, right? Because we already decided that this guy's the guy. Like he was, he had a good short shuttle.

he had a good broad jump, but he had good measurements for like the potential of an edge, but it's not like this guy's like 95th percentile, right? Like, Trayvill and Walker tested the way he did, and we all said, okay, throw the brakes on the train, we've got to have a conversation. Guys like this don't come out. They were at, like, there was all this smoke for like all season and into the draft process like, Lucas Van Ness testing, he's going to blow our minds. And then he was just good. And but now we've already kind of pot committed to this. So I like, I think he's going to go top 15 and I think that that's bananas. Have you, have you watched Diabi much? I have watched Diabbi.

I was going to guess you were going to say Zach Harrison, the Ohio State kid. Oh, I got him too. You have him on here? Okay, cool. I got him too. Yeah. To me, he's the middle round guy who's like,

big long, strong, play like the actual like, you know, like, quote, heavy five technique, push the pocket, whatever. Like,

to me, he's the guy that I'd be chasing for that role. Diabbi's like, Diabby's fine. He's a jag to me. Like, I don't mind him, but to me doesn't like get my,

get me pumped up. He's not, he's legit off brand. He's like, okay, I'll just buy this because I... You're buying the traits. You're buying the traits. He is 24 years old.

I think that's probably a big reason the NFL isn't like him. Like Hyatt said, he's a former zero star. He is a Juko transfer from Georgia Military College. And I think there's all... You always carry a little bit of baggage from not being like a highly touted recruit coming out of high school and stuff. It's just harder to like break through that ceiling when you're that type of guy. But I, like I would rather spend a third or fourth rounder on Diabia.

I don't know how high he's going to go. go, probably top 100, you know, and kind of just bet on those traits. Yeah, you mentioned Zach Harrison, and it's so weird. He went to Ohio State. It's so weird to think of the store brand as an Ohio State pass rusher. I'm just kind of conditioned. Oh, yeah, Ohio State Pass Rush, first round. It's weird that he's the store brand.

Number one, he's been injured during the post, like the post-season process. And so he hasn't been on everybody's radar quite as much. But former five-star, so my name brand, is Clemson pass rusher Miles Murphy, who is probably going to be a first round pick, probably a top half of the first round pick. That makes sense, yeah. And big, long, twitchy, defensive linemen.

They're both former five-star recruits. And then both came in and had, like, frankly, just kind of underwhelming stats in college, didn't really live up to their five-star, you know, billing necessarily. I guess Murphy's going to be a first rounder, so maybe he did live up to it. But I think Harrison traits-wise is just as impressive,

if not more impressive because he has 36 inch yards. Like he's freakishly long player. He has 10 inch hands. He's 6 foot 5, 274 pounds. Like so, like I was saying, just like a big long physical, traitsy five technique that you could come in and like play a role early on and have the potential to develop into an elite pass for sure. If you look at their stats from last year,

they both played 13 games. And down the line from sacks, pressures, tackles for a loss, stops, they're all pretty similar. Like I think Murphy has a slight edge on most of the stats, but they're not really that far away from each other. And I think Zach Harrison's probably going to be going

in the third round, whereas Murphy will probably be a first runner. So he's my off-brand version of Murphy. If you miss on Murphy in the first round, you want a guy that has a similar style, plays a similar role, and has a very similar upside, I think. Zach Harrison's the guy. I'm pretty in.

That would make sense. I don't, yeah, I don't mind Harrison for Murphy instead of for Van Ness. I think they're, they're generally similar enough roles in the NFL that like you kind of get cross pollination there. Harrison just to me like high fits like you brought up like how do we have an Ohio state edge that's like an off brand guy. He definitely didn't develop the way that they hope, but the measurables are still there and the flashes are there. He definitely does stuff. He can't teach. Like once we start getting into big 100, I'm looking for guys who can do stuff like I can't

teach and I'll teach them the rest. So Harrison is a dude that I'm I'm very happy to draft in the middle rounds. So give us another name brand store brand. Okay. This one, I feel very passionately about. Pit defensive tackle, Colizia Cancy, is a potential first-round player. Now, we talked about Colagia Cancy on the Outliers pod.

We talked about it in other spots. This is a 280-pound defensive tackle. Here's a comprehensive list of successful 280-pound defensive tackles, which makes it tricky for me that Collagia Cancy is going to be a first-round pick, right? That, to me, is scary. Okay.

Cansey also comes in with 30-5-8-inch arms, which are like bottom 10 in the combine all time for defensive tackle arm length. So he's undersized and he doesn't have long enough arms to keep offensive linemen off of him. He can't lock out. Can't separate. And so you just, I am extremely worried about a player of Cancy's profile being bodied by power and size on the interior. And you're taking on that risk in the first round exclusively for the hope that he is such a impact pass rusher with quickness and with explosiveness at his size.

that he offsets the lack of value. Well, what if I told you that in the third round, you could get a guy who has the similar size, but way better length and also the same explosiveness to rush from the interior? And that's Aditamiwa out of Bawaray,

the defensive tackle out of Northwestern. Now, I said the defensive tackle out of Northwestern. Right. He didn't necessarily play defensive tackle in Northwestern. This is a projection, but I love this. Yeah. Yes.

So if you go and you look at his snaps, he did take a majority of snaps over 200 at the under-tackle positions, right, three-technique between the guard and tackle. Or, excuse me, that's overtackle. He took the majority of his snaps between the guard and the tackle. But he was listed as an edge, and he took a lot of snaps on the outside as well.

And so it's a little bit of a messy projection. But if we are rolling the dice on traits and we're rolling the dice on an undersized penetration tackle, I mean, everybody wanted to write home about Collagicancy's testing, right? It was, okay, he's 280 pounds, but he ran a 4,67, 40-yard dash, 158, 10-yard split, 32.5-inch vert, 904 broad.

Atatomiuade beats all of those numbers at the same weight, and he has three more inches on his arms. I can't see his theory, and I can get theory potentially later. Now, Senior Bowl director Jim Nagy, who had Adibuari down a mobile for the Senior Bowl, was tweeting earlier this week about the fact that Adibuari is actually going to go a lot earlier than we think. He was like, Atabari back end of the first round.

As Jim's job. Every senior bowler in a gym is like potential back end of the first round guy. We'll see. So if you're talking about, okay, you get Cancy at 20 and Atabari at 30, then to me you're taking the same risk and it's shaky. If you get Adibuari like a whole round, round plus later, which to me I think that's more about what we're going to see. I'd so much rather go store brand with Adibuari here.

To me, that's a much, much, much better low value roll of the dice instead of rolling the dice of the top 32 pick. I agree with this one. I like this one a lot. He's just so, he's explosive. He's just built like you'd want a three tech to be built. Like big powerhouse butt, like really long arms. Explosive.

When you see him get into that stance, look at that butt. I mean, he's just got a big bubble butt. Who is the guy at the combine for whom Mike Mayock said that very famously? It was an offensive line then. I'll find it. McCoy. Mackey's not. Look at that butt.

Mackay's looking at that shoulders. Doesn't Belichick just stand behind all the defensive tackles of the 40-yard dash to see their asses? Just picks the guy with the biggest one. The Patriots are taking this guy Atowary. Just a huge ass. Just dudes built like Donald Trump, you know? Just draft those guys.

Oh, my God. Oh, and Trump's measurables came out and I don't know if you can play detackle. Yeah. He's about their same size. The relative athletic score for Trump. We should have a scouting of Trump. I think I saw people doing that.

It didn't run all the drills at the combine. I mean, Kancy's got, he's got a big butt too. Both of these guys have huge powerhouses, let's be honest. It was Andrews Pete, the office alignment at Stanford,

who went in the first round, it was not good, and then ended up not good in the NFL, but Mike Manx was watching like, oh, look at the hammies. And then he said, look at the build.

Look at that bubble butt. He said on NFL network, and then he became the general manager of the Las Vegas Raiders, baby. Love that. It's incredible. All right. D.K., any other defensive tackles and or notable butts we should be watching here? So this is like, I think this is probably the most extreme one I've got here,

but Georgia defensive tackle Jalen Carter, who is widely projected to be a top 10 pick. The off-brand version of him, I think, is Wisconsin defensive tackle Keanu Benton, both big, long interior defensive linemen, both interior penetrators, both big, powerful and strong. And if you honestly, if you look at their stats, they're remarkably similar. In fact, Benton has more sacks in his career than Carter did. So, I don't know. Obviously, I'm not saying that Benton is a better player than Carter. But again, in this exercise, I think you can get Benton probably second round, third round.

I'm not sure how far he's going to fall. He's getting some buzz lately, so he might be a second rounder. But you're not going to have to spend a top ten pick. How big is his ass on a scale? Yeah, what's the baton situation? How big is the butt? Ben's got a trunk. He's got a badong-a-dong.

All right? He's going to play. but donka dunk. I'm just Googling it now because I want to get a closer look at these warlocks here. You're Googling Trump's ass or you're Googling Keanu Benton's ass? He's got a thick lower body. Put it that way. I comps into Kwan Shore and Kwan Short, man.

Ooh, that's a good one. Yeah, I like that. I'm not sure how to Bokadong. I'm a little bit late to the Benton hype train, but I'm all aboard now. Like, I'm all on. I love this guy. I think he's just so explosive. He has a really devastating, like, club.

that he gets into the backfield with. Yeah, I'm super excited about where he lands. I think he's probably a second rounder in. Could be very, very productive. Almost exactly the same size as Carter, too. It's like when Kirkland, there was a while there where Kirkland was making ProV1 golf balls. They were just using the same materials that Titleist did.

And I think they got in trouble for that. They weren't allowed to use it anymore. But there was a stretch where it was like, this is half the price and it is the same ball. And also now, if you play, I feel like, if you find a ball now on a golf course, if you're at like a public course, the odds of it being Kirkland are like one in three.

Just everyone uses them now. I'm a big believer in deleting old tweets. That way people can't rehash takes from like four years ago. I think I very strongly believe this is a good policy. I tweeted about Keanu Benton when he was a freshman at Wisconsin going up against Josh Myers. And I was like, this cat can play. And I lost it in like an old tweet delete thread.

And I've been doing all drafties it. Like six times this draft season. I've searched like at Benjamin Solek, Ben, at Benjamin Solek, Wisconsin, 95, at Benjamin's like trying to find it and it doesn't exist and it breaks my heart. I could so claim first on this guy. I can't.

He's very sad. He's great. He's great. Top 40 player for me. I believe you. Ben, what is the most egregious tweet that you have gone back and deleted? Oh, brother.

Give me, it. High should talk about something. Let me think for a minute. Ben, were you a big Zach Wilson believer? No, not at all. And the Zach Wilson tweets are still up for that reason. Well, so I think so that. That's aged well, yeah.

I would like to give an award here for the guy that you're most confident will be an excellent store brand purchase. I would like to give that the Trader Joe's. This is the most Jewish thing I'm going to say in this podcast and that includes the Passover episode. But the locks at Trader Joe's are unbelievable. Like the smoked salmon, it's honestly, it's just as good as any of this place you get it. But it really is like half the price. And it's unbelievable. Speaking of cults, Trader Joe's is a great.

It's the best cult. a part of. Massive cult, Trader Joe's. It's way too much. Even the people who work there, I'm like, no one's holding the gun to your head, right? I avoid speaking to Trader Joe's employees on expense of my life. I spent 40 minutes trying to find Garboe beans before I asked an employee

what they were. And he was like, do you mean chickpeas? And I was like, yeah, I'm the idiot. Yeah, for sure. Good talk, good talk, good talk. Put both of the words on the side, man. If they're both, is the same name. Anyway, not important now. Why are you afraid of talking to the Trader Joe's people? because they are too excited to help me. Too enthusiastic. I shouldn't need help.

I shouldn't need help in a grocery store. I'm an adult. You know why you get confused so lack it? You don't know where True North is inside the store. Well, this is why I did a hottest take that I got absolutely reprimanded for that sales associates, we kind of need to scale back. Because, like, man, when I go into a sunglass hut, I get bombarded and it actually makes me not want to enter a sunglass hut. There's nothing worse. You enter a sunglass hut.

And there's like three people on top of you telling you, oh, you look great in those. Oh, you can get two for one. If you go in this section, I'm like, hey, man, I don't want you to look at me. I don't want you to watch me see if I think I look good in sunglasses. Let me do that alone. I need a safe space to try on sunglasses. Yeah. No, I agree with that take.

Who was against that? Everybody was like, fuck you, Craig. I work as a sales associate. I work on the floor of a store. These are jobs and we do work. How dare you eradicate an entire life? annoying people don't believe they're annoying. Hard to see that.

It's not called the most reasonable take. It's called the hottest take. It's not even a hot take, Craig. It's logic. I like being helped. I like when people ask. The answer to your question is probably Josh Allen takes. I was pretty anti-Josh Allen.

We all have those. So lack, don't worry. Yeah, but I was anti Josh Allen. I was also pretty suspicious of Mahomes. And critically, this was a time in which I had like, you know, I was like doing this. like very like, you know, low level. I didn't have any followers.

And so I was just tweeting from the hip, right? There was no like, I'm worried about this being found. No filter, yeah. The problem with Mahomes is that he sucks. And like those, we got to get rid of those. I like how a lot of people, like, a lot of like famous people when they go back and you look through their tweets when they weren't famous, there's a lot of like problematic stuff that they have to go through and delete things they maybe wouldn't say now.

And Ben's like, he's like, hey man, I didn't have a lot of followers from then. Like, I was talking shit about Patrick Mahomes. You know, like, I was talking shit about Josh Allen. I had to go back and delete that. That's his problematic tweets. That's his cancel. That's problematic as I get, hopefully. I'm thinking about Trader Joe's employees now and just the mental weight that they place

on me within the store. Do you need anything? Just milk. You know, to me, the perfect employees and internet employee, they're very happy and they know a lot, but they're not like in your face, you know? They'll answer your question if you have one, but they're not going to presume. Why do you think malls are dying? No one wants to go in and be harassed by these employees.

Just going to order it online. there's no such thing as malls anymore, Craig, and it's because of this. Hello, sir, welcome to sunglasses. What can I help you with? I'm like, man, everyone who comes in here just wants to see themselves in five different pairs of sunglasses and then leave.

Craig, I don't know if I ever told you guys this. I got a job in college at Zumi's. You know, Zumi's, the skate shop or whatever? And the first day, they made me stand outside the store and, like, try and entice people in. And that was last time I worked there. I quit the next day. I was like, fuck this.

I hate this job more than anything I've ever. done in my life. I think one of the most ridiculous things the store has ever made an employee do is back in the day when they made men stand outside of Abercrombie shirtless. Just no shirts on it. Oh, that's ridiculous. Just reeking of Cologne. Yeah.

Ridiculous job. That was my job. I was a pen. Yeah, exactly. I used to do that for free. Did they use to pay people to do that? Like, sir, put your shirt back on. Yeah.

People were getting paid. All right. We got so many people. Okay, so important updates on a lot of fronts. The Rocket City Trash Pandas. the official minor league baseball team of the ringer NFL draft show. We are excited slash disappointed to report. They threw the first no-hitter of the MLB of the minor league season.

And they also lost the game. It's the most incredible box score I've ever seen from a baseball game. You're bearing the lead here. What was the score of the game? Well, like seven to three, I think. Seven to five. Seven to five. And a no-hitter.

No-hitter. Seven to five-five run lead entering the final inning. No hitter running. This is the greatest thing that's ever happened. Continue to give up no hits. They walked five and then a guy came in the relief

hit three batters in a row and then walked a guy and then three wild bitch. Get him some glasses. That's my suggestion. And then of all, that wasn't NFL draft show and we cursed the pandas.

They lost to Chattanooga. They lost to the Nougas. When I saw that, people were pointing that out on Twitter. I was like, not only did the our new team literally from a week ago

lose this game it was Tanuga it's like a century seriously it's like a thought experiment where your friends like could you lose a no hitter if you have like five runs

is that possible the number of people that added us in that like in the reporting of that game was incredible just like an hour straight it was just everybody like I didn't happen

I didn't get like did you guys see this per source close to the situation Rocket City Trash Pandas we've gotten more social engagement than we would have if we kept the no-hitter very true any publicity when you lose on the no-hitter

especially for a minor league much much more so yes all right we also have we have a lot of updates on we ask people to email in if you or you know someone you know had a very strong like we family fortune, like a strange invention that made the family rich. Or like the mundane, like the guy who invented the coat hanger or something. Things like that people who got rich off things that you don't even realize needed to be invented.

So email ringer fantasy football at gmail.m. If you're inspired by any of these, oh my God, thank you to everyone who emailed. If we didn't get to respond to you. We saw them. We went through all them. Incredible. Nick, a friend of mine went to college with one of the sions of the ball Mason jar company. They have a... just printed money for ages now. They have a website and everything. There's a container that you could put stuff in. Just fucking brilliant.

It's the same as all the other ones, but this one's better, I guess. I actually think the truth about Mason jars is they're kind of inconvenient. Why does the top come off? Yeah, the tops come off, which I've never understood. They also are, you know, the actual opening of the jar is a little narrower than the actual width of the full jar. So sometimes when you're, I don't know, you're drinking. out of it. You're like nose hits the top. Oh, you're talking about drinking. Oh, the mason jar.

Could we invent a mason jar where the top is in two pieces? Yes, the top is two pieces. You need it to be, you needed to be in two pieces to get like the airtight seal. This is, this is. As a man who, as a man who cans and pickles vegetables vegetables, mason jars are delightful for like, let's make a cool lemonade and put in a mason jar. I agree. Put in a cup. Why do you need two parts of the top to make an airtight seal? That seems counterintuitive to me. I don't get it either. Because like like the first part like the top flat part you know how it like you can depress it a little bit It's got like some give to it when when you screw down the second part it like it like it like seals it up real tiny like pushes it down in versus like if you just had like the one screw cap I don't think you get the same level of like vacuum

Closeness I mean like that's why now that I'm saying this I'm realizing that this is just something I've intuited over my time of pickling onions It might not be a real thing but like that's that's my experience I think the real problem is is is perhaps you know the hip. The hip. have turned the Mason jar into a drinking device and they're not meant to be that. Yeah. Kevin writes that his college roommate was part of the Capri Sun Straw family. They patented the Capri Sun Straw. They went on elaborate trips. But with the pokey end?

Yeah. They needed to be pokey. All they did was cut a straw at an angle and they're like millions. It's like inventing the wheel. Incredible. What a time in America where like when you were just like the first to think of something pretty simple and now you're a billionaire? You know, Einstein worked in a patent office.

We didn't even know if he did any of that stuff. He just sat there and... Just red stuff. Stole it. Sometimes the Capri Sunbag, sometimes it didn't really work and the straw would go through the whole bag and then it would leak. Yeah. Well, they got paid. But it's not their problem.

I mean, they're just, things are flying off the shelf. Love that money. Tanner said, I went to high school with the granddaughter of the inventor of the Phillips head screwdriver. Her last name was Phillips and everything. It was Phillips and everything. It was Phillips and everything. It better be because it's so dumb for that to be called a Phillips head, right? The other one's called a flathead.

There should be called like a star head, diamond head, square head, whatever. If they weren't called Phillips, it would drive me insane. When I ask mayor for a Phillips head screwdriver, I receive a flathead screwdriver 50% of the time. If they had the correct names, it's not a problem. Mayor has taken absolute bullets today. Thank God she just not listening to this podcast. I was stammering, bringing that one up. So I was like, I'm throwing gas.

He's getting nervous. He's getting nervous. Somebody who's at work and not home. Who's thrown more heaters, the pitcher who had three baseball players in a row? Or is it so like to just taking jobs? Or Ben's his wife, who is a lovely person. Jesse said that my friend lived in the dorms at Colorado Boulder with the daughter of the guy who drew the Starbucks logo.

Whoa. She bought a teacup pig while they lived in the dorm. Nice girl. She bought a... Is that allowed? They allowed a pig to come into the dorms? I mean, if your dad drew the Starbucks logo, You can do whatever you want, man.

That's an insane. The world is your oyster. Yeah. Carissa writes, I knew a girl in college who claimed her grandpa invented snap on tools. You're the tools guy. Clarissa, your friend? Very thin story. Easy to poke holes in it.

Invented something that's the one I don't know. Pete writes, my great. This is a lie. Pete Wright. My grandfather owns the original patent for the collapsible dog crate. And then Joseph writes in middle school, we had a kid who's in my class whose name was Scott Key, like literally great, great grandson of Francis Scott Key, who wrote the Star Spangled Banner. They really just kept that name going. Someone said, my grandfather patented the remote control.

Holy shit. The general remote control. Mike, yeah. My grandfather's. a physicist who worked for Zenith electronics where he invented many of the essential components of televisions and he literally patented, he attached the patent

in the email and he invented the cable television remote control or as he calls it the clicker and he demands it should be called the clicker but it is his patent. Yeah. Okay. So he must be rich as fuck. I'm going to say, is his grandpa a bugillionaire? Because that's the most useful thing anybody's invented ever.

I don't think he is. People are just straw family's lap and people are just like infringing on his patent like crazy, I bet. Justice for this man. The master lock family, the most insane one we got is from Luke. My uncle Dave, who incidentally is a pretty solid Jeff Goldblum Doppelganger, is so stupid

rich. His dad patented the shelving units used in big box stores like Costco. I don't have a clue how much Dave is worth. However, when I was in high school, my Uncle Dave commissioned and built a multimillion dollar houseboat like it was nothing. And fun fact, eventually he and my aunt got divorced and he had to sell the houseboat. And you know who bought it? Senator Joe Manchin of West Virginia, whose houseboat is now something of a legend in Washington, D.C.

And I can confirm that the Joe Mansion houseboat is a legend. And this guy's freaking uncle paid for it with shelving unit money. God, I want shelving unit money. I need to invent something. Guys, inventing shelves has got to be so easy, too. You're just like a level and ruin. Make them bigger. If you're talking about the ones that like click together with like little like, I don't even know what they're called, but key spot key things.

We should patent something, guys. We should. Problem now is like every new invention is you need to have like a computer engineering degree. And there's nothing like physical that needs to be invented. Wait, should we ask chat GPT what we should invent to get rich. Now there's an idea. I think we would do great on Shark Tank. Just four of us walking in.

Hello, sharks. All right. Beer bottles with bottle openers on the bottom. Mark Cuban, thoughts. Email ringer fantasy football at gmail.com. If you have more weird families' fortunes that you know, if you have bad Sharca tank ideas, ideas that we should patent,

anything you have chat, GPT for things we should patent, email us or also, you know, questions about the NFL draft and stuff. Emails at ringer fantasy football at gmail.com. Thank you, D.K. Thank you, Craig. Go to NFLdraft.orghum to see DK's NFL draft guide rankings Big board's going to top 85 this week NFLdraft.30.com

Thank you, DK. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Solek. Thank you, Kai, for producing this episode. Thank you, Austin for help as always. Thank you, Lauren. Thank you, Lord. Thank you. Oh, who, give me a good band, guys.

I'm out of loss here. Bob Seeger. Bob Seeger. Oh, yeah. All right. Also, maybe, maybe, is he the off-brand Bruce Springsteen? No, the Seeger sessions that Springsteen did, Springsteen did recording sessions with Seeger.

They rip. They absolutely rip. Bob Seeger is awesome. I love Bob Segar. He was kind of market corrected by Bruce Springsteen. Oh my God. Put on the song, Feel Like a Number by Bob Seeger. You'll have a great time.

Detroit. Dude, the Pete Seeger, Bruce Springsteen, this land is your land. It's pretty sick. I don't know how to respond to that sentence. You're talking about this land is your land? Well, it's a cover. Yeah, they didn't write it. Dude, shit and Doa with Springsteen and Pete Seeger.

Pay me my money down. Are we talking Bob Seeger or Pete Seger? He's talking Pete Seger. I'm talking Bob. Yeah. I've never lost a thread this quickly. Yeah. I'm telling you, dude, Stranger in Town is a fantastic album.

by O'Bob. Oh, Bob. Hollywood Knights? Another good thing. Chat GPT says, as an AI language model, I cannot advise you to patent something random just to get rich.

It's important to remember that getting rich is not solely dependent on obtaining a patent. Success and wealth typically come from hard work, innovation. They're calling you lazy. Yeah, tell that to the Capri Sun, straw guy. Yeah. Tell chat GPT to stop being a geek.

Yeah, fuck off, chat, GPT. You haven't invented shit, chat GPT. ChbT said hard work. Also, I've existed for like two months. Come on, brother. Cool. ChatGPT just steals everybody else's work. Exactly.

About the other way around. A little bit better at Googling than I am. Cool. You just read everything. Nerd. All right, goodbye, everyone.