The Ringer-Verse - 'Dungeons and Dragons' Instant Reactions | Mint Edition

Episode Date: April 3, 2023

Grab your swords and long bows, then come along and join Steve and Jomi as they dive into 'Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves.' The guys get into the nuts and bolts of the film, some of their fav...orite scenes, and what other board games they feel can get the big screen treatment (40:00). Later, Steve leads Jomi and Kerm on a dungeon and dragons journey of their own (50:00). Hosts: Jomi Adineran and Steve Ahlman Producer: Jonathan Kermah Additional Production Support: Arjuna Ramgopal Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 It's no secret the NFL has a problem with race. Think Colin Kaepernick. Think Brian Flores. But this isn't a new problem. It's one that started as far back as the 1930s, with a ban on black players in the NFL, with a past that informs the present. Blackballed is a new mini-series podcast from The Ringer
Starting point is 00:00:20 about the four men who broke the color barrier in football. I'm your host, Chelsea Stark Jones. You can find Blackballed on the Bringer NFL feed. For adults with Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis symptoms, every choice matters. Tramphia offers self-injection or intravenous infusion from the start. Tramphia is administered as injections under the skin or infusions through a vein every four weeks, followed by injections under the skin every four or eight weeks. If your doctor decides that you can self-inject trumphia, proper training is required.
Starting point is 00:00:58 Tramphia is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderately to severely active Crohn's disease and adults with moderately to severely active ulcerative colitis. Serious allergic reactions, increased risk of infections or lower ability to fight them, and liver problems may occur. Before treatment, get checked for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms, or need a vaccine. Explore what's possible. Ask your doctor about Tramphia today. Call 1-800-526-7736 to learn more or visit Trimfairadio.com. Every outfit starts with a choice.
Starting point is 00:01:38 What am I wearing underneath? Something comfortable? And let's be honest. Something that keeps everything looking smooth. That's where Vanity Fair lingerie comes in. Their new smoothing wireless bra has four-way stretch fabric for all over smoothing, soft lightly lined cups for a natural shape, and no wire comfort that lasts all day. All over smooth, all-day comfort, vanity fair lingerie.
Starting point is 00:01:59 Find yours at Target today. And welcome into the Ringerverse. The Ringers Nexus' podcast feed for all. things fandom. I am your host, Steve Alman. Welcome back to Mint Edition. It's the once-and-wild podcast. But we talk about all of the latest fandom
Starting point is 00:02:28 that you just can't live without. I once again am Steve Alman, your host, and joining me as always as my co-host, explainer of the Midnight Boys, social's at the ringer. And he's the richest man in Baldur's Gate. It's Jobia Dineron. Listen, if I was the richest man in Baldur's Gate,
Starting point is 00:02:46 I would not be doing this podcast. You're going to get stuck in a vault somewhere? I would be in my vault, counting my gold pennies. You'd be Scrooge McDucking, swimming, swimming, backstroking into all the coins. Listen, Steve, this isn't some bedtime story. This is the real world. It says, yes, it is.
Starting point is 00:03:08 And I can't wait to talk to you about it. But first, a little bit before we start this show, some programming reminders before we begin, this Wednesday you can catch up with us. and the rest of the Midnight Boys, giving our instant reactions to the latest episodes of the Mandalorian.
Starting point is 00:03:23 Who knows where it's going? Are our expectations getting the better of us? Find out every week. And this Friday, you'll find Joe and Mal at the House of Art giving you their deep dives into the latest episodes of the Mandalorian as well.
Starting point is 00:03:36 But today, we're here to give our shot and roll for initiative once again to talk about our impressions of the latest film, Dungeons and Dragons, honor among thieves. And maybe we have a little encounter
Starting point is 00:03:52 with some Dungeons and Dragons and characters of our own. Some eagle-eyed listeners might know them from last time, but more on that later. And before we begin, our friendly neighborhood spoiler warning for just the movie D&D. There's not that much to spoil otherwise, but... Are you sure? We're not going to get...
Starting point is 00:04:08 We might get into some Transformers, spoilers. I mean, maybe, you know, the larger world of the Bayverse. You don't know what this podcast holds. You know what? If we have our own homebrew campaign movie about the Beast Wars saga, I think that we could probably safely say that there's going to be spoilers for that. But just for now,
Starting point is 00:04:26 we'll talk about the fantasy film comedy, Dungeons and Dragons. Are you ready, Jome? I am ready. Let's roll. Let's go. All right, let's give you some of the nuts and bolts, Jome. Duns and Dragons, Honor Among Thieves, directed by John Francis Daly and Jonathan Goldstein of Game
Starting point is 00:04:46 Night Fame, if anybody's got some of that film goodness in their wheelhouse. It's one of my favorites. Starring Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez, Regéjean Page, Justice Smith, Hugh Grant, and Sophia Lillis. Based on the popular tabletop game created
Starting point is 00:05:02 in the 1970s, the movie follows a journey of adventurers and thieves out to write their wrongs, and along the way, maybe save the realm from total destruction. Jomey at Dineron, what did you think of this movie? Oh, I loved it.
Starting point is 00:05:18 You know, we earlier this year, we talked about Voxmockina and how that was like my first ever introduction in D&D. Like, I had only heard about it in passing and in Stranger Things, but in terms of actually getting involved in the material, I was not at all involved in any of it whatsoever, right? And so coming to this movie, I did have a ton of expectations. I was like, it's going to be Chris Prine and Michelle Abriguez doing. Chris Prime, Michelle Riga stuff in a fantasy world, and you know, we'll see how that goes. But I left the theater going, oh my gosh,
Starting point is 00:05:53 what a fun time. I really, really, really had a blast with this film. Steve, what about you? I loved it as well. I think this is a really fun time and a like a refreshing breath of fresh air to go see something in the cinema that is
Starting point is 00:06:09 in a weird way franchise and not franchise, superhero but not superhero, fantasy, but not fantasy? Well, very much fantasy. But you get what I'm saying, where this is the most entry level, probably like, non-prequisite required viewing of any kind, sort of big blockbuster filmmaking that we're not maybe even used to nowadays. I keep finding myself when I talk to my friends about this movie. They're like, do I need to know anything about D&D? And I'm like, even to play D&D, you don't even really need to know anything about D&D. So that's a tough
Starting point is 00:06:45 question to like reaffirm to make sure that like yes you're safe to watch this fun time at the movies and not really know anything about it the most that you'll ever get is a very fun wink and a nod that we'll talk about later to some gameplay elements to some things that are known in the world this vast world that we find ourselves in but really for the most part you can just take yourself for the ride and enjoy it and i've had a great great time with it uh did you have any sort of like earlier impressions about like the world of Dungeons and Dragons or the fantasy elements of this that kind of was either going to put you off or not really like was there any concern going in that like this wasn't exactly going to be the movie that you wanted no and because like from the trailers you can see that there's they're not really like doing like the whole like they're not super immersive in terms of talking in yeo to English and like Michelle Rodriguez cusses like it's 2000 and Right? Like, it's all, like, pretty modern.
Starting point is 00:07:46 You can't stop Michelle Rodriguez from cousin like it's 2005. That's very true. It's all very modernized and very, like, on a base level so anybody can come in and be engaged, engaged with it. And credit to, graded to her, credited Chris Pine. Like, I just felt like I was watching, like, a regular heist movie set in the Oldland Times, you know, with magic and all those other elements. like we had back then. Of course. Everybody knows it. Right. And it was cool. It was fun. Like the movie did what it had to do.
Starting point is 00:08:18 Like I was all right. Yeah. I was locked in. It was those, it reminded me a little bit of like those old classic adventure films from the 80s or the 90s as well, like the Princess Brides, a bunch of other like fun fantasy shows that we would have like Willow and all these other things where like if you just take yourself and let yourself kind of get swept up in the world, you're going to. have a good time with it because pretty much everything is shown to you and told to you in a very entry level and simplistic way. Something that we're kind of not really used to. In the days of the MCU, DCU, and all these other things, you kind of want to make sure that you haven't seen the last one to get the first one. Do you need to know what this magical item is before you get this? I'm so happy that we got to see something that's both funny, entertaining, um, sometimes a real sight to be hold and actually wowed me a couple of times.
Starting point is 00:09:14 This was great. I don't think I could recommend something like this more. You know they do make movies that like you don't have to, that aren't part of a bigger universe all the time now. I know and we can go to the big picture hosted by Sean Fantasy and Madden Dobbins. We'd have good long discussions about that. Do it all the time. Do it all the time.
Starting point is 00:09:37 Martin Scorsese is mad about something. What is he mad about? Listen to the big pick. but I wanted to kind of talk about first, about the kind of connection that we have to the tabletop game, Dungeons and Dragons and what I would have liked to see this movie capture, and I think does a pretty good job because I've played Dungeons and Dragons for
Starting point is 00:09:58 the better part of a decade and a half. It's been an excuse to hang out with my friends, meet new friends, kind of just have a great hang. And Dungeons and Dragons is the only board game or tabletop game, or the first, I should say, that has kind of given me a sort of sense of,
Starting point is 00:10:18 like, community and companionship and storytelling and all of these great sort of adventures that you can go on by yourself and with other friends that are both improvised and scripted and haphazard and kind of like a making and choosing of your own adventure. to capture a sort of, oh shit, I did that, or a wonderful element of discovery to where you find all of these wonderful creatures or villains or scenarios that are both created by you and by this world that you're inhibiting.
Starting point is 00:10:56 And while the sort of cookie cutter boilerplate fantasy adventure that you might say that occupies this movie, a lot of the attitude about what I just talked about is captured here. There's a lot of discovery where a character would find a magical item that they've never seen before, and then they find out how to use it properly, and they have a moment of ingenuity. There's an aha moment that we get a lot of those times. There's a thrilling chase sequence that you get to see a character's magical abilities at the full breadth of their display because they're trying to be creative and how to get out of a scenario. That's essentially what Dungeons and Dragons is about.
Starting point is 00:11:36 If you can think on your feet, if you can think creatively, if you could find ways to explore these movesets and magical items that you can interact with and think about fun ways to interact in this world, that's the most rewarding part of it.
Starting point is 00:11:52 And I think that this movie really, really captures it. But as a baseline movie, also works really, really well. Do you think you would find this accessible to even somebody that isn't exactly into fantasy? Because these are creators, directors, writers,
Starting point is 00:12:11 that were mainly made their names in comedies. Do you think that this is something that you can easily sell to somebody that's like not even
Starting point is 00:12:18 really in the zeitgeist of even what the ringerverse might be into? Well, I tell you what, you know, I think people see fantasy, people think fantasy, they think,
Starting point is 00:12:30 you know, Game of Thrones, they think Lord of the Rings. You know, I think this is, you know, I'm not going to say on that,
Starting point is 00:12:37 that tier, right? but it's in the same vein of, you know, you go to town and, you know, people that's all dirty and people have, you know, rags on and things like that. And I think, like, just being like, hey, go watch this fantasy movie. If you're not really into it, I think it'll be tough to get people involved because it's all about the look, right? When people, like, look and they see that, then they're not going to enjoy it. But in terms of the content, it's so, it's so, it's way much more accessible than any of that other stuff. stuff. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:13:08 Like, if you've seen a heist movie, if you've seen a comedy movie, this fits so much more in that vein than honestly, it's got, it's got fantasy elements, it's got a fantasy coding, but in its essence is a heist comedy, which, again, I love. You know, so if you like that stuff, you're going to be into this movie, no matter what. I couldn't agree more. And I think that while some of these trappings and locations and, you know, dragons, wizards, all of these other things, they can seem relatively either inaccessible or wrapped up in sort of their own lore where you kind of feel like you need to be burdened with a sort of origin story of the magic of yada yada or this and that. This movie's not really interested in those things. It's really kind of just about placing you in a fun, backstory-driven scenario with our main characters,
Starting point is 00:14:15 and then the matter-of-fact way that it sort of presents both the magic, the big cities, these worlds, all of these other civilizations. It's very, again, matter of fact. You get to see cat people just wandering the streets, and nobody really bats an eye about it. It's just there. And Jomey, like, were you shocked when you got to see cat people or giant gnomes or golems, like occupying a world that you're just like, okay, that's just there. I'll tell you what, I was not, the big dragon was the one that got me. I was like, hey, yo, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a thick, that's a thick boy.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Yeah, yeah, it's like a fat cat version of a dragon. And we're not, you know, we're no strangers to seeing dragons on screen, but you're just like, okay, we got a little chalky one. A little chunky boy, you know? No, it was, like, again, like, it's a magical world where all these things exist and all these things coexist. And so it was, it was, it's definitely didn't take me out of the movie. I was watching, like, I understood why a cat woman would be sad that her cat son was
Starting point is 00:15:19 swallowed up by a big fish. Yeah. Like a little, like a little, like a, I don't know, like it's too small to be a whale, but it's too big to be a fish, you know what I mean? Right, no. It's like, it's like a, I mean, they're a chuna, you know, that are even like that big. my gosh. Tunas are deceptively big.
Starting point is 00:15:37 Have you ever seen a live? Tuna? Tuna, you get a ton of tuna. That looked like a, that looked way bigger than like a... I was in a Japanese fish market one time and I saw them like starting to like cut off the pieces of the giant tuna. It's like the size of a baby cow. No, they're big tunas.
Starting point is 00:15:54 But I'm saying that was bigger than like the biggest tuna I've seen. It's nuts. And something that I absolutely loved for the most, most of this movie. When it could. it got away with a lot of fun practical effects. That fish, real. Those cat people, like just people in furry suits. The amount of times that the, like a giant bird man is just a man in a bird costume.
Starting point is 00:16:17 Jonathan. Jonathan. We really want to make sure Jonathan's here for this. He's got to be here. Jonathan has to be here. But something that really kind of struck my mind for most of this was the acceptance. that we've kind of come to see with a lot of these fantasy settings
Starting point is 00:16:37 from movies nowadays because Dungeons and Dragons came out at a time in the late 70s where the creators of this game were heavily influenced by stories like Lord of the Rings and other fantasy classics that they wanted to make a game
Starting point is 00:16:52 kind of out of it. There were other like sort of tabletop games that were not exactly as popular or booming as we would see then in Dungeons and Dragons, but once this was created, it created a kind of a worldwide fervor and a lot of religious outrage
Starting point is 00:17:10 because people thought that there was a lot of devil worship and it promoted wizardry and all those things. Did you ever have like a moment where like you hear the term Dungeons and Dragons for the first time and you don't know what it is and you think that it's something untoward? Because I know Van is still concerned about this. I would try
Starting point is 00:17:29 to convince Van to play it and he's like you're still worshipping Satan, right? Listen, man, I, you know, I was growing up, bro, you know, I was hooping. You know what I'm saying? I was worried about Payne Manning's past stats. Very true. And, you know, dang, is, you know, is Kobe and Powell going to work it? Or Kobe's Shack going to work it out.
Starting point is 00:17:49 You know what I mean? Right. Because we got to win chips. Real trauma. I wasn't locked in. No, you weren't. I wasn't locked in. This is like the whole, this is a whole new thing.
Starting point is 00:17:58 This is like just now getting to me. I'm like, okay, like this D&D thing. This is for real. This is what you're. be doing all right. All right for sure. Like I was not locked in at all. At all to like, you know, the fact that people look at these things and they go, oh my guess, scary.
Starting point is 00:18:17 It's not like, you know what I mean? True. It doesn't, you know, like cool. You're making like you're making up a game. Like who cares, you know what I mean? Like rest in peace, Eddie Munson. Very true. Yes.
Starting point is 00:18:30 Rest of peace Eddie Munson. Light spoilers for strangers. I told you we spoiled something else. Of course you. We're going to be knocking at the door of the most devastating spoilers for for stranger things. All right, but back to Dungeons and Dragons. Yeah, like, it's just, it's weird that like people, you know,
Starting point is 00:18:46 would be scared of this thing. It's like, it's very much open, creative space for people to, you know, explore dally themselves, but like a different world in ways that we do all the time, watching TV, you know, reading books, you know, opening our imagination. Like, I couldn't understand why people would be so scared of this type of this type of world? Neither would I. 100 free events. 6,000 kids, one mission.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Clinic Kids is using sports and evidence-based wellness coaching to help kids build confidence, resilience, and the tools they need for life's challenges and opportunities. Up through August 2026, they're running 100 free sessions for school and community-based organizations near you. Learn more at clinickids.com slash 100K. It's Clinic with a K. Linikids is registered 5.01C3 nonprofit. The playoffs are here, and you can predict the action all the way to the finals with Fandul Predicts. Follow all the playoff dishes, swishes, wishes, and misses.
Starting point is 00:19:54 Predict the spread, the total points, and even the game winner. Sign up for Fandual Predicts and predict it from the couch. Offered by Fandual Prediction Markets LLC, a registered futures commission merchant. 18 plus. Trading derivatives involve significant risk and may not be suitable for all. investors manage your activity with our consumer protection tools. To get back to the movie, I'm curious if there's anything that didn't quite work for you. I'm realizing now that this movie is like almost two and a half hours.
Starting point is 00:20:21 A lot of movie in this movie. And that's a time of commitment that, you know, the John Wicks and MCU Fair of the world kind of demand from us. Do you think that this movie got a little too big in its britches asking for a whole two and a half hours from us? Or did you have a fun enough time to where it kind of went by a little bit? crazy. No, I think, you know,
Starting point is 00:20:42 you know, so I leave, I saw these, these, this movie the same week I saw John Wick, right? Right. And I left John Wick going, oh,
Starting point is 00:20:51 man, it was that long. That's crazy. Yeah, no time at all. No time at all. Oh, who's, it was that a home? Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:21:02 Uh, not, like that's, you know, it's, again, I had a great time. Mm-hmm. It's a little, it's a little,
Starting point is 00:21:07 it's a little, you know, we could have cut like eight minutes. Look, I enjoyed the movie. I enjoyed the movie, but it was like two, almost like 240? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're like, we're getting up there.
Starting point is 00:21:19 Again, not to say that anything like really dragged or poked around a bit, but it obviously wanted to have a lot of bases covered with a lot of sort of things that an adventure story would like to have. You have a heist. You have an escape. You have a sort of like a weird detective work scene.
Starting point is 00:21:36 the party that we are carrying ourselves with for the rest of this movie everybody has at least one moment to shine very very well even reggae Jean Page who is not exactly in this movie for a long time gets an incredible fight sequence a great sort of
Starting point is 00:21:54 on the nose this is how paladins are there are a bit of dicks types of dialogue scenes with Chris Pine it's very very fun very funny what character kind of had your attention the most during this movie? Oh, it was Chris Pride.
Starting point is 00:22:13 It was absolutely Chris Pine. Watching the movie, I, and I think I told you this, like, right, I ever saw it. I was like, br-I-starch-four. It's annoying to me how much of a star, Chris Pine isn't at this point. Like, how is he not dominated the MCU at this point? How has he not been everywhere? There's a thing, Stephen. I know you're locked in on this.
Starting point is 00:22:38 I'm going to tap in. Of course. We talk about the Chris Wars, okay? And really, they've been over for a minute. I'm telling you, man, Chris Pine, he's been to top Chris for a minute, my boy. For a minute, my boy. We've been early adopters of the stock, and I've been staying on this island forever and never. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:23:00 Like, we got Chris Pratt at the bottom. No disrespect, but somebody's got to be last. Well, Chris Kirkpenter. Patrick. It's Chris. Chris Kirkpatrick. It's, it's Chris Pratt, then Chris Kirkpatrick. Jesus Christ. And then the rest of the Chris. You know, you can do you can flip whoever you want between Hemsworth and Evans.
Starting point is 00:23:17 Sure. They're both great dudes. You know what I mean? Evans. Evans. He got work coming out right now. And I know Hemsworth, he locked in with his family doing their thing. But Chris Pond is at the top. Chris Pines has been at the top. He's been killing it. Killing it. And I'm, you know, I'm watching.
Starting point is 00:23:33 I'm like, you know, a leader who is, you know, kind of smuggish, but like cares about his friends. And despite the fact that, like, he can kind of be in over his head, he's doing his best despite, like, failing and, you know, making up things as they go. I'm like, bro, where, where was Kirk? Exactly. Bring back. Bring back Kirk. Even to the point where Intimborahoga is, like, kind of doing, like, she's not as,
Starting point is 00:24:02 she's obviously not as as smart as Spock but she's doing the whole straight man to his, you know, outrageous thinking. I'm like, where is it?
Starting point is 00:24:13 Where is Star Trek 4? And these barbarians not exactly the sharpest tools in the shed, but God damn it, they're not loyal friends. Right? And people that'll help
Starting point is 00:24:20 take care of you. So a bit of Eaton's like quick background. We have a lot of flashbacks and a lot of like pretense when it comes to him being in prison because he was out for revenge because the Red Wizards,
Starting point is 00:24:36 well-known villains from the Dungeons and Dragons Universe, killed his wife and pretty much got his child in a lot of trouble. Now Hugh Grant, our main villain aka Forge, is a nobleman of the city and is hosting these gladiatorial games with his daughter under duress, but not really kind of under duress, but he wants to win back the affections of his daughter.
Starting point is 00:25:01 This is classic, like, and I don't want to say, I say threadbare in like a nice way, because at the heart of it, like, everybody that I've ever played Dungeons and Dragons with, every sort of dungeon master or player that we have, they're kind of screenwriters at heart. They want to make like a sort of compelling, half-baked, like, nice story to, like, give them a character motivation and get that out of the way so they have an excuse to go on. an adventure with everybody else. And it doesn't detract from the movie because it's like how generic of an origin story is, oh, they murdered my wife and I got to get my daughter back. Like, that's all fine because the charm and care that this movie brings to all of these characters is fun and lighthearted. Well, that's, and that's why I enjoyed the movie a lot because it's like, it starts and
Starting point is 00:25:56 it sets the stakes for the world and for the characters, right? They're both high and low at the same time. Like you never feel like it's like too overbearing and too serious. But it sets it very clear, hey, I'm here for my daughter. B, the Red Wizards are going to take over the world if we don't stop. Boom. We're like, that's it. That's it.
Starting point is 00:26:17 That's chilling. You know what's the deal. I know what the deal is. Let's get cracking. You know? And again, with Chris Pine's signature charm, you're there. You know, where's Jonathan? At the same time, you feel for him losing his wife and having to raise the daughter and them getting caught and the entire thing.
Starting point is 00:26:40 And you feel some type of way about it. And so when the movie goes on and you're supposed to be like, oh, no, his daughter, oh, Hugh Grant, Fitz Williams, he got his daughter line. Oh, you feel some type of way. When they've gone, they've got the treasure. He's got his daughter. they're sailing away from all their problems and they turn around and they see that Safina is going to destroy the city
Starting point is 00:27:06 you already know they're not even a question of the oh they're not controlling you're like yeah they're going to turn around to get this job done because that's what they're supposed to do that's what it means that it means a lot to them to get that thing done and so that's why I feel like the movie succeeded because it set its expectations really well
Starting point is 00:27:23 from the jump you get it from the jump and it was just a role of fun, you know, from then on. I couldn't agree more. Now, I want to talk about some great sequences that we had in this movie. I want to see if we can talk
Starting point is 00:27:37 about some of our favorite ones and see if we could pick one of our most ones. So I have Doric's one shot escape from the castle. This is where she is spying on the Red Wizard and she is caught and she has to quickly escape while she's frantically changing it into
Starting point is 00:27:53 different animals and disguises and trying to get from inside of the castle to all the way outside of the outskirts of town and it's all done in this incredible one shot where she's just transforming into a deer and then an eagle and then a mouse and all of these other things.
Starting point is 00:28:13 What did you think of this? This was awesome to me. I love that shot. I didn't expect it coming into the film. So when she's a fly and then she's a mouse and then she goes into the armor and she's walking in the armor and then the guy cuts her off.
Starting point is 00:28:28 I'm like, oh my God. Yeah. But you're like, nope, I'm a mouse again. And then leaps up, goes, and then she's like an eagle, falls down. It becomes a cat, goes back to a human, and then tries to escape as a deer. It was just like a really, like, and it takes like, what, like two, three minutes. And it's so well done. It's so fun.
Starting point is 00:28:49 And I did not come into that movie expecting that. See, that I was like, oh, snap, they really trying. Like, this is cool. That's a capitalist filmmaking. here. Yeah, no, that's, this is cool. This is fun. This is why you come to see a movie like this to see them try all this wacky stuff out. And that really, really worked. That was one of the best scenes, the entire movie, honestly, to me. All right. We also have comedically talking to corpses to find out where something is. They left that one dude up to him. Was that five questions?
Starting point is 00:29:18 Yeah, that was five. That was five. That was good. But the first bit was like, was that was like real game night type. Oh yeah. Is that, did that kind of the question? Yes. Yes. I wasn't talking to him. I was talking to you. Okay. Yep. Got it. It's like, no, man. Would I say okay? That's an answer, right?
Starting point is 00:29:38 No. Dude. Dead. You're like, come on. Like, that was, that's just excellent. I think to me, that might be my favorite because that captures the essence of the chaos of playing Dungeons and Dragons. You're figuring something out in the moment where if you make a mistake, and it goes horribly not the way that you want, it's still really,
Starting point is 00:29:59 really funny when that happens. Chubby dragon escape. Thick boy. Thick boy. He was, he was, who, I forget who said it.
Starting point is 00:30:12 Like, there's a, there's a dragon, you know, he's hiding all the gold and somebody was like, is, did he, did he eat it?
Starting point is 00:30:20 Yeah, did he eat the last hide out? Did he eat the last hide out? I was like, guys, come on, man. leave my guy alone it's stuff I hear of it's creaks man
Starting point is 00:30:27 it's not great to fat shame a dragon but maybe you'll fat shame a dragon I'm not listen I'm not fat shating no dragon live your life
Starting point is 00:30:35 my boy you look good okay I know that you know it was kind of it was kind of hard for him
Starting point is 00:30:40 to get into the the cave at the end there right but he was doing his thing he was doing his thing yeah no
Starting point is 00:30:47 it was a bit of a witty the poo stuck in the rabbit hole situation complicated bridge crossing this also
Starting point is 00:30:54 That was my favorite. This was the perfect like one for one. This is how Dungeons and Dragons is played where Ray John Page's character is elaborately and breakneck speed explaining how this bridge works.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Well, so you got the even the number tiles and then halfway through that you switch to odd number tiles. Well, you got the odd number tiles, right? And it goes, well, one through five and you get to the fifth one, you know, you got to step on the odds. But then halfway through,
Starting point is 00:31:24 You get to the even though it's house, right? But then on the first one, it's the four ones. And then Justice Smith, he goes, he just tubs, and it just crumbles. And he like the look on his face of just despair. So dejected. It was just so bad. That was the best part. That had me rolling in the theater.
Starting point is 00:31:44 That was so funny. And then finally, our labyrinth of death. Gross. Gross. You didn't like a gelatinous cube? I didn't like the gelatinous cube. did not like the big jelly cube. I really did like that.
Starting point is 00:32:00 I did. It looked tasty. Well, because it's the thing, right? Every time, like, they go in, they're like, ah, tingly. And I'm like, ah, I don't like that. I had to feel. Because I get digested? Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:32:11 Can't imagine it feels great. It's basically, like, a giant vat of stomach acid. Oh. But, like, it sucks you in and it doesn't let you go. Like, you got really strong to pull that out. It sucks because, like, they're in there for like, I think all of like maybe 10 seconds. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:29 And like their clothes are starting to burn a little bit. Like it'll get you really good. I like that a lot. They had the, the, the, the, the, the, the panther, but that had the, illusion tentacles.
Starting point is 00:32:43 Also super scary. Also very much a character in D&D. Those things are sons of bitches, though. It's the chest with the tongue in D&D? Oh, the mimic chest. The mimic chest. that's got the tongue that almost killed Michelle Riega is?
Starting point is 00:32:58 Yes, the mimic is basically like it's a creature that like pretends to be enticing things usually in the forms of treasure to entice people to stick their hand out and it will try to eat them. You beat it with a perception check.
Starting point is 00:33:15 It was gross. Yeah, but a fun scene. A fun scene nonetheless. Really, really fun. Love that a whole bunch. And then we get Bradley Cooper's unexplained cameo. Dog, okay. So, so, so that was the hardest I left throughout the whole film.
Starting point is 00:33:32 It, that was ridiculous. I, like, I felt mad at myself because it ultimately felt cheap, but I couldn't, but not left. Here's the magic, Steve, here's the magic that I see. Right. Because not only do they open the door and it's Bradley freaking Cooper. Right. Right. He's playing Michelle Rodriguez's X.
Starting point is 00:33:51 or Hocus X and you know they get into like a really emotional conversation and it's actually like pretty profound
Starting point is 00:34:03 it's very it's so profound because he's like I like I was here to help you through that and you were just caught up on the thing that you did for me and you were and you got
Starting point is 00:34:12 and like I was like oh my God they're having like a real heart to heart here like it because it easily could have been played for jokes like ha ha which it was
Starting point is 00:34:19 Brad well here's the thing right ha ha Bradley Cooper was small And Michelle Rodriguez He's a gnome I believe And he's like a halfling Right? Yeah he's a halfling Because like
Starting point is 00:34:30 A gnomes are like one more squat But yeah And you know Oh ha ha look You know It's Bradley Cooper playing a halfling And Michelle Riggins used to get together Ha ha ha ha
Starting point is 00:34:39 Then they always say this conversation About their relationship And you know What they meant to each other And how like Despite the fact They're on different paths now Hey
Starting point is 00:34:48 I still got your back Like it's cool you know, whatever journey that you're on, you know, I hope that you succeed. And you're like, oh my gosh, that was, that was beautiful. Wow. It really gives you context to like her character.
Starting point is 00:35:07 Exactly. And, you know, we know, like, we'll talk about what happens to her later. But that's the kind of stuff that, like, I wasn't expecting out of this movie. And, you know, for Battle of Cupert, you know, take 10 seconds off. the Guardians 3, you know, work. And it come down and be like,
Starting point is 00:35:26 hey, I can play a halfling for two minutes. You got me for two minutes, what you need. Well, Vio boots can really be anywhere. He was, he was killing. That was like a really, like, it was great. It could have been played just for laugh,
Starting point is 00:35:37 but it was awesome. And it's like, speaks to the heart of this film and why it works so well. And to know that his current girlfriend is another warrior woman, classic. Well, they both,
Starting point is 00:35:47 they both clearly have a type because you see he's got the same tall girl when she comes back. Not to discredit him. No, but that's the end. She, like, makes that little, little, little, little mouth thing at the, the homie. That's very true.
Starting point is 00:36:00 That's very true. So they both very clearly got types. To their credit, though, gnomes, typically known for high charisma. Hmm. So, you know. Hmm. Don't play out our guys here.
Starting point is 00:36:11 Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. I also want to talk about some of our favorite magical items that we got to see. A lot of these all also, also in Dungeons and Dragons. But again, it's the matter-of-fact way that we can just talk about, like,
Starting point is 00:36:26 having fun with cool magic shit, and that's really the point of the game, and it's the point of the movie as well. The hit-a-dither-dither stick. You mean the portal gun? It's the portal gun. Pretty much. He lit that thing up.
Starting point is 00:36:40 And I, like, I Leo pointed it at the screen. I was like, that's portal. That's portal. Where's Cape Johnson at? Right. Who's yelling about lemons to me? you know, where's Gladys at?
Starting point is 00:36:51 Like, sign me up. I, and, but to the degree at which it was used for the sake of the highest of, like, sneaking into that carriage and putting it on a painting and then leaving it. Like, that's the level of ingenuity that can happen in a game session, like, and whether or not you're, like, I kept thinking to myself, I'm like, would a DM allow this? Because I don't know if it could be on that kind of a surface or not. Like, I was overthinking.
Starting point is 00:37:19 I was overthinking like the rules as to what the rule, like the rules of this world would be. It's moon rock, Steve. It is moon rocks. Work best on moon rock. So that's what it was. You got to keep your head open. Got to remember that Cave Johnson said that.
Starting point is 00:37:32 Exactly. It's very, very true. We see packs of holding, which is basically like infinite backpacks, Mary Poppins style. We have seeing stones, which is essentially like a rocks being walkie-talkies. Yeah, that was,
Starting point is 00:37:46 I didn't get it because he was, like, this is the, you're seeing the stone? And I was like, you're not seeing anything. You're talking into them. Right. I don't, I was like, that's confusing. Why did you, they miss that? But it's also, so the funny thing about like, I, the personal story for me, like, we had seeing stones, but I think our DM didn't quite read the rules on how seeing stones work for a while. So we had just used it all the time and they don't just last for an hour. Like, we had done, we had just been like across the world, like, just calling people on, on, on, on, landlines the whole time.
Starting point is 00:38:20 Oh, my God. Like unlimited talking text. You know how it is, you know, like, well, first of all, unlimited data these days, and I mean, unlimited calling text. I had a premium for you. I can't imagine, you know, it's different in, you know, wherever land you guys are. Well, that's the future now. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:38:40 That's the thing, though. Like, adventurers normally are, like, secretly rich because they have so many valuable things on them. like a wand is worth like several gold like a normal amount of like to get like three square meals a day you need like five copper all i'm saying is it's it's twenty twenty three we have to have a limited toxic talking text wherever we go i mean like this it makes no sense to be like oh up your time's up you got to go go to pay five dollars and call collect you know i mean like let's let's relax actually be able to call my homie forever that's true do you think carrot top is doing ads for
Starting point is 00:39:20 calling collect seeing stones I don't think so would he tell us to dial down the center with seeing stones he's trying to get us into into chirp phones that's what's trying to get us into trip phones that's great
Starting point is 00:39:37 I like how we're trying to like invent apps for Dungeons and Dragons it's very very fun all right so Paramount has like teased the future of this with both shows and films in the Dungeons and Dragons universe. Do you think with this movie
Starting point is 00:39:52 that we are justifying a franchise existing here? Do you want to see a sequel? Do you want to see these characters again? Like, what do we... Are we getting too much too fast here? Yeah, you gotta... Like, let's stick with the sequel. Let's see how the sequel does first. Then we can
Starting point is 00:40:08 start talking about franchising and Paramount Plus spin-offs and things of that nature. I think you're moving too slow at the times, Jomey. That's exactly where we're Right now, man, Kate, it's not really like that. Taylor Sheridan blew up the Yellowstone universe in like three years. Again, but that's so, that's such like a different animal, right?
Starting point is 00:40:31 Like, no, this is the same beast. No, no, no, no. Because think about it, right? Steve, what if I told you tomorrow we getting a success has been off, right? But it's, we're getting Carl. We don't have to watch Carl. You know what I'm saying? That's not where I'm at.
Starting point is 00:40:47 ends up at the end of this series. I don't really care about Carl, to be quite honest with you like that. Depends on where Carl is at the end of this. If they're like, hey guys, we're getting a D&D spinoff or remember that cat baby that we saved, it turns out he was
Starting point is 00:41:03 really important. I mean, all right, you know what I mean? We all know how good of an idea the John Snow Solo feature is going to be. So I think we're in pretty good hands with getting an infinite number of Dungeons and Dragons sequels, prequels, and Quadrequels.
Starting point is 00:41:18 Just give me the sequels, man. Let's start cooking there. All right. Would you want to see some new characters in this world, or would you want to see the same characters? I want to see the same characters. Yeah, bring everybody back. Maybe not a Regéjean page solo film.
Starting point is 00:41:33 His adventures of being an obnoxious paladin, which I do love. Look, he's a, look, we got to talk about him for like two seconds. All right, because he, like, throughout all the trailers, for all the branding. I'm thinking he's part of the, he's such a big part of the movie. He's part of the team. They've got a starting five.
Starting point is 00:41:57 Okay, Chris Pine is at the point. Okay. They got Michelle at the five. Okay. Bragey, that's your three. You know what I mean? That's your three and D. You know, he's going to spot up shoot.
Starting point is 00:42:10 He's also going to, you know, play some good defense. He's in the movie for 10 minutes, maximum. It is odd, but also, like, again, I feel like, I'm not making excuses for this movie. I really am not, and I'm not trying to say that it's worse than it actually is, but I just think too much about the, like, meta's story, about, like, people playing this game and why he wasn't exactly in the entire story. Like, this is, like, a friend that joined once for one session and left after they were done, like, because this goes on for, like, way too long. So like your friend comes over for one session, that's Reg Ejean page. Like he's like the cool paladin that shows up, does a cool thing.
Starting point is 00:42:53 And he's like, and now I must go and leave and do my own thing. Like that's, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to do this D&D. And then I'm like set the place on fire and just go home. That's great. And just be like, all right, guys, you guys, good luck. Good luck dealing with my problems. Good luck.
Starting point is 00:43:11 Oh, so you're just going to make everybody's day worse. Oh, yeah. Good luck doing my problem. And success. I actually, I found a wife. We went and we decided to live happily ever after in these green lands. Only enough to the dragons could you live happily ever after with a wife after five hours? Yeah, I'd just be like, goodbye.
Starting point is 00:43:29 See you guys. We got it all done. Yeah. Enjoy the, the problems I have left for you to deal with. I definitely think that we can see more of this world. I think that the beauty in this is going to come from seeing new and different characters and different stories. because I think that's also capturing the essence of what the game is. And it gets like an idea for like a lot of more fun,
Starting point is 00:43:54 interesting actors and stories to come along with this world. Obviously, this was a great time. Obviously, I would love to see these characters again. But I think like having a fun refresh after every time, it also makes you feel like you don't need to be sequelifying every single thing all of the time. There can be fun one-offs. There can be fun things that you don't need these entry-levels. prerequisite movies all the time for.
Starting point is 00:44:19 I think that's a refreshing because it's as a refreshing a movie as this was, given everything we've seen in the past few years. Hey, Steve, you know if it's still Dunders and Dragons and it's not a sequel, it's still a franchise, right? Like, it's still a... Yeah, of course. It's still a brand. All right, I'm just making sure.
Starting point is 00:44:37 Yeah, but just, you know, the comma is different. It's a different comma? The different colon? Different colon. I'm just making sure. Thebes among honor. Oh! Because, you know what I'm saying? because, you know, like Chris Prime really, you know, showed us something here when you get the next one. And it's Chris Pratt. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:44:53 All right. Listen, let's not go that far. Listen, we've still got Chris Patrick to call up. Hold on. Still calling him Chris or Patrick first. I'm just saying they got a little, they got a formula here that works. Why mess with it? You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:45:03 Don't change the recipe too much. You know, add a little more in here. Let's keep it moving. All right. Well, before we move on to our little experiment here, I want to get a couple of suggestions for you. for what other board games do you think could get the big screen Hollywood treatment? Just rattle off a couple.
Starting point is 00:45:22 I want to see Sorry as a as a video game movie. Who is starring and what is the plot of sorry? All right, so it's John Malkovich, right? Great. And he's, man, he's been tough. Got four kids.
Starting point is 00:45:40 Okay, one lives in a greenhouse, one lives in the yellow house, blue house, red house, etc., etc. Okay. We're going literal here. And, you know, he hasn't been the greatest father. You know, Simon's almost up. Sure.
Starting point is 00:45:50 Yeah. Okay. He knows what he's got to do. He's got to say, sorry. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.
Starting point is 00:45:57 Listen. Okay, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Where's the plastic dome with the dice that, like, you push it down and then it pops up to roll? I mean, that's all post. That's all we're at that in post. Okay.
Starting point is 00:46:10 But is that like a fight scene? Is that where like he's got a color of faces? No, that's like the last? That's the last, because, you know, he's apologized to the kids, the blue kid. That's the hardest. You know, I mean, she's the oldest. You know, he put her through the ringer the most, you know, being neglectful, not really, you know, paying attention. So when it comes time to it, you know, she's the one who's like, nah, you need exactly two spaces.
Starting point is 00:46:36 You have to roll a two to get here. If not, sending you all the way back. And then John Malmich is like, that's a bullshit rule. if I can pass it, then I can make it. Exactly. You know, you see the vision. Of course. You see the vision.
Starting point is 00:46:49 Sorry, you know, sorry. It's really it. No, in all, in all serious, it's not. And oh, yes, of course. Uh, but really, folks.
Starting point is 00:46:58 You know, they've already made, like, all the, all, like, the ones with the human characters already have, like,
Starting point is 00:47:04 sure. Really good, you know, or at least adaptation attempts. Like, Clue. It's probably, like, the best board game movie ever,
Starting point is 00:47:12 right? Did the OG one. you know, turns out Jamanji technically is a board game and it came out after the same year as well it came out
Starting point is 00:47:21 the same year's movie I don't know what came first Steve. I mean that was to be fair that was like a tandem brand deal thing where like we okay the movie's coming out we got to make the board game
Starting point is 00:47:29 for kids which felt cheap because I had that board game and I'm like no I want the real one I want it made of wood and I want it like bespoke and you want the one where like they start talking
Starting point is 00:47:40 like it's time to run and you don't house start sinking. And then a champagne comes through my house. Yeah. You start looking around. You get sucked into the board game. And then 60 years later, we got to bring, we got to dig you up. And it's like, hey, by the way, Steve, not only is, has everything changed? Not only is everything you know gone. Your parents are dead. So. I mean, but did I win? Like,
Starting point is 00:48:07 that's really all that matters here. It was crazy, man. Some psycho with a gun just comes out. into your house and hunts you like a game. D. And like the movie does a thing where like the move, the game ended. Everything's back to normal. Like he did go back, right? To his.
Starting point is 00:48:25 Yeah, but you've lived like 40 years. There's a whole different timeline where he disappeared. Like, okay, we're getting into the weeks now, right? Yeah. You got to hear us out real quick. There's a whole timeline where he disappears, uh, those two kids who were, orphans, right, are still like, like what happened to them?
Starting point is 00:48:47 David Allen Greer makes the new Nike's. It's all over because he comes back and they're like, oh man, that was crazy. Remember me? He's lived a whole life, an entire life. And he comes back being a child.
Starting point is 00:49:06 In a, right? Man in a child's body. The implications are insane. Sorry, let's get back on topic. But it's nuts. The implications of Jumanji are insane. I would like to see risk on the big screen. Granted, that's just like an old-timey battle simulator.
Starting point is 00:49:24 But I think it's just a great action franchise waiting to happen. So you've seen war games, Steve? Yeah, but no, it's not war games, but it's not war games. All right? This is period accurate. You're the general, like our main character is the general, and he's just like looking at boards. and he's trying to figure shit out
Starting point is 00:49:43 and then like it's illustrated when like he's putting pieces on the thing then it's illustrated in the movie with people like you know outflanking so and so and then I don't know a politician is mad somewhere I think that's got could be fun and then we can do it in like different time zones
Starting point is 00:49:57 where it's like the future 2099 and then you can do I don't know wars in Egypt and stuff like that you think Candyland would make a good board game movie I think that's like on par with like some trippy Alice in Wonderland stuff, so maybe.
Starting point is 00:50:15 But the stakes have got, it's got to be very, very grotesque to me. Okay, okay. Let's stop and talk about this. Like the chocolate monster is like his teeth are nougat and he's just like very ugly and stuff. Steve has got with you right now. Candyland? No, obviously not.
Starting point is 00:50:31 I've played Candyland. Steve, this is a G-rated film for children. Why? See, now you're just, now you're making a PG-13 Nandiland. The Lego movie was PG at least. Yeah, but I mean, I don't want to scare the children, Steve. No, we can scare the kids. Bill's care.
Starting point is 00:50:51 No. Yes. Bring back scaring kids and your kids' moves. Man. Man, God forbid kids go to the movies and enjoy themselves. God forbid their parents do too. Come on. All right.
Starting point is 00:51:12 Want to support your gut health? Take Activia's gut health challenge by enjoying two Activia yogurt today for two weeks and see if you feel a difference. With billions of probiotics and 20 years of scientific expertise, Activia is one of the easiest and tastiest ways to start your gut health ritual. Try Activia today. Enjoying Activia twice a day for two weeks as part of a balanced diet and healthy lifestyle may help reduce the frequency of minor digestive discomfort, which includes gas, bloating, rumbling, and abdominal discomfort. So for our final segment here, we're going to do a little brief adventure time with Jomey and our super producer Kerm.
Starting point is 00:51:49 Kerm, how are you? I'm chilling, chilling. What's good, guys. Adventure time. Come on, grab your friends. We're going to very distant land with Jomey the host and Kermr the producer. The fun will never end. It's adventure time.
Starting point is 00:52:07 All right, run that up to the legal, Kerm. You're going to be fine. It's all going to be good. I changed four words. We're going to be great. Yes, obviously. All right. So we're going to have a little adventure here.
Starting point is 00:52:17 Anybody who's been listening to Mint Edition for a minute would recall our Vox Machina episode where we basically made up some characters for a little D&D role-playing game session by the names of Leodin Zaire and Zuma Khan Zaddle. That's Christ. So what we're wanted to do here today is Kind of start a little very small very quick encounter Where our two heroes might actually meet each other So our last episode Kerm wanted to have a little run-in With this high elf ranger
Starting point is 00:52:59 Because he's racist Because he's racist So Kerm could you describe your character for the audience To be uninitiated real quick Zuma-Kine? Zaddle Dittle is a gnome wizard with a biased against elves because at a young age, he was jumped by a whole pack of elves. It was just going in on the boy.
Starting point is 00:53:20 And he's forever scarred and can never trust an elf again. All right. And he also has got a fancy like gold chain pendant where he, where most of his magic power stem from. Okay, cool. And Jomey, why don't you describe your character for us? What's going on? Bill Dins Ayer.
Starting point is 00:53:37 half, half human, half high elf ranger. You know, he left his noble elf family to, you know, help the people of the lower class. And, you know, he's just, he's just a really cool dude who, you know, doesn't beat up el gnomes. So he doesn't understand why Azumacan is such a hater. Like, he can't represent around it, really. Well, he doesn't know anybody by that name yet. But from what I could gather, you are also on the outs with your father. and that's why you left your family?
Starting point is 00:54:07 Yeah, me, my dad wants me to, like, rule. And I'm like, no, dad, I can do much more good helping the humans my half than being, like, you know, Elf King. Okay. So I'm going to be what's called game mastering or game managing here. I'm going to basically give a sort of, like, description of where things can be and what can happen in this world. and I'm going to help Jomi and Kerm along with how to play and encounter these things.
Starting point is 00:54:40 So Kerm is a wizard. Jomi is a ranger. Kerm, Zuma Khan is, he's a wizard who is also like aiding criminals, if I can remember. He lives in the mountains, but he's basically like blessing and enchanting both jewelry and weapons to give them magical properties. and he's a big fan of, you know, selling some stuff to some passers-by and things like that. And you were on a supply run selling off a couple of your wares in the city, and you're on your way back to your home in the mountains, and you pass through the forest like you usually do.
Starting point is 00:55:20 But you decide to take a different path, kind of just like, you know, taking the sights a little bit. And you are walking down this, like, lesser known path that you've been on, but like it doesn't see, it seems fairly well worn. And you come across, you see in the distance a figure in, maybe I'd say about like a couple hundred feet away. And I want you to roll a perception check. So what I want you to do is take that digital 20-sided dice that you have here, give it a click and tell me what you roll. Okay.
Starting point is 00:55:59 So the orange one is good? Yeah, it doesn't matter with me. Okay. Just checking in, checking in. We got 20. It says 20. Oh, my mom, it says total 20. You got a natural 20.
Starting point is 00:56:13 Yo, I swear to God. You are not, this is your first role. Okay, man. This is, okay, this is where I'm going to, honestly, Nat 20 already. Arjuna's freaking out. All right, Nat 20 already. So you can clearly, all the way, off in the distance,
Starting point is 00:56:27 you see this very well, well-coft-haired, sort of well-dressed, but it's like, it's worn clothes, but you know that these are very, very good clothes. Worned by a ranger who is carrying with ease, a giant elk over his back. He's clearly back from a hunt. So he's got the strength.
Starting point is 00:56:49 He's got a strength and everything, but you see that he has a very healthy looking coin purse strapped to his side. Is there? Sounded like a lick to me. So does that sound like somebody that you want to rob? Correct. Correct.
Starting point is 00:57:08 You want to rob this person? Okay. I would like parts. So you as a gnome, you as a smaller person, you have an advantage in stealth. You have advantages in charisma because of your magical pendant. How do you want to, you see him coming on the road and you kind of stop in your tracks. how do you want to look to rob this person? Can I summon a long-distance weapon similar to, you know,
Starting point is 00:57:41 similar to a sniper rifle, but I guess with magical tendencies. We aim in for the leg. We shoot them in the leg with our magical beam that I summoned. What? Could I do that? All right. So I think All right, well, I'll
Starting point is 00:58:00 inform you that this isn't call of duty and that this is actually like a like Lord of the Rings type situation. But I think that the spell that you might be referring to is a spell called magic missile. Yes, exactly, Steve. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:58:15 So what you want to cast is magic missile. That's a level one incantation. This range is about 120 feet. The target is a creature of your choice and it can be instantaneously cast. So what you do is you create three glowing darts of magical force. Each dart can hit a creature of your choice
Starting point is 00:58:34 that you can see within range. A dart deals one D4 plus one force damage to its target. The darts all strike simultaneously, and you can direct them to hit one creature or several. So what you want to do, this is a guaranteed hit, by the way. So if you cast this, it is going to hit him. But you're kind of seeing that he's kind of far off, but you realize that he's got to come closer to know that he's been in range.
Starting point is 00:59:00 So, do you want to wait and see where he's, what he's going to hit? Do you want to hide? What do you want to do here? Hmm. We will hide. Can I make myself invisible? Do I have that ability?
Starting point is 00:59:14 You cannot make yourself invisible, but you see a little, roll a perception check. Got you, got you, got you. We're rolling. 17 17 okay so you see a couple of ample like bushes and trees and then like to your right
Starting point is 00:59:31 you can kind of see like a small undercropping like you know how like when there's like a sort of like a bit of a ravine and you can like have like hide in a bit of a reservoir do you want to hide in the reservoir or do you want to hide by the trees by the trees let's hide in the trees all right
Starting point is 00:59:49 so roll a stealth check for hiding in the trees. Rolling. Damn, it's a one. All right, well, you have advantages in stealth, so I want you to roll again, and I want you to take the highest number of that roll.
Starting point is 01:00:05 And 11. Okay, 11. All right, so I'm going to do the math here. Okay, I can't tell you how you did, but I'm going to throw to Jomey over here now. So Jomi, you, coming back from a hunt, walking down, coming down the road,
Starting point is 01:00:20 you're walking down. down there and you as you're as you're walking as you're walking a bit closer uh down from your uh your your perch you're feeling pretty good about the hunt um i want you to roll a perception check 16 16 all right so you do have advantages in perception as well so that's a plus three all right so you see a gnome kind of just sitting oh bush kind of like interesting about about like 200 feet away And he's just like kind of sitting there like waiting for something. You don't really know what. Waiting for something.
Starting point is 01:01:03 You don't really know what. Interesting. How do you want to approach this? Can I blow up the Dutch flag? I would say you don't really have a reason to do that. I don't have a reason to do that. Oh, interesting. Okay, there's a gnome there.
Starting point is 01:01:18 Can I, hey, pal, what's, what's up? Can I like engage the gnome? Because clearly I see him. Okay. Curam, you, you see that the, that the Ranger has spotted you and just said hello. Do you want to respond? What are you going to do here? Can I wave back and then shoot? If that be possible? That's crazy. So you just, so you wave hello and then you cast magic missile within range. Okay. All right. You cast magic missile.
Starting point is 01:01:58 So violent. So you have now waited until he's within like about 200 feet away. No, no, no. You're about 120 feet away. Okay. So you roll, so roll 1D4. And so it'll be the dice mark of the four on it. Also, do I get to choose where I'm targeting with these shots?
Starting point is 01:02:16 Well, you're targeting him. It's not exactly like a part of his body or anything. Okay. It'll just be him. Like, I can't be like I'm trying to take out the knee, like an arrow to the knee, trying to just slow him down. No, that's it. You can do that at higher level. but you're not as high.
Starting point is 01:02:28 I'm not there yet. Okay. So I got to roll again? So you know, you just roll one, D4. Roll. I got nine. You got nine. Okay.
Starting point is 01:02:41 So you, you, Jomi, you take 10 force damage. Wow. Straight to your gut. Wow. It like hits you right in the gut. And it hurts pretty bad. It like really, really, really hurts. Man.
Starting point is 01:02:52 And I'd say it's like kind of just like a small pierce in your skin. You're bleeding just a little bit, but you immediately drop your elbow. to tend to your side here. How do you want to engage? I want to blow this gnome off the face of the area. All right, well, you have a bow on you. You have your mother's noble,
Starting point is 01:03:12 elegantly designed bow that you were just using in the hunt prior. I take it you want to take a shot at him then? Here's, I want to give him a warning. I want to be like, hey, not a warning shot. I'm like, hey, don't want any trouble, man. I'm just trying to get, you know what I'm saying? I'm just trying to get my oak. Okay, so are you looking to persuade him or are you looking to intimidate him?
Starting point is 01:03:34 I am looking to intimidate him. Listen, I will kill you. Okay, so you're going to be yelling at him. You're like, hey, man. I will end you, my boy. Like, listen, we don't have to do all this. Give me your, give me, okay, you know what? I'm going to do this for you.
Starting point is 01:03:49 I don't want to be exact. Give me your exact words to him that you would say and then I'm going to have you roll for this. Hey, look, gnome guy. I don't want no, you don't want no problems. okay, I am trained in the art of every weapon known to man if I see you
Starting point is 01:04:07 I will kill you let's be gracious here let's both go our separate ways and nobody has to get hurt is that cool all right so not as intimidating as I might have thought but let's roll for intimidation here
Starting point is 01:04:23 give me a roll for your D20 15 15 All right, that's pretty good. Okay, Kerm, so you're getting an idea that this guy might know his business and you might, like, this looks like a tough customer. You're getting a look at that bow. You're seeing the strength that he had to drop that elk with. How do you want to handle this?
Starting point is 01:04:44 Hey, man, this sounds like mutually assured destruction to me, you know, going both ways. You drop the golden bag. I don't shoot again. You just drop your money. Keep going. We could. Jomey, I want you to roll a perception check real quick.
Starting point is 01:05:06 Three. Three? Yeah. You're a hunter. You have an advantage on perception? I'm going to give you one more roll for that, and you're going to take the highest number. One.
Starting point is 01:05:17 All right, all right. So, as he's saying this, you see a sort of like half glimmer in his chest. Could you roll a, what's going to be called a knowledge check here. This is basically to inform you as to something that you might think about him. So roll for a knowledge check.
Starting point is 01:05:43 Or his 20 check. 20 for that. Natural 20? No, no. You said I'm rolling the 20 dice, right? Yeah, yeah, the 20 side of dice. Okay, okay. 12.
Starting point is 01:05:54 12, okay. So you've realized that like you've often seen, you've never really seen gnomes with like a shiny necklace like this and that's a bit odd to you. You've noticed that like only really rich people or noble people wear those types of necklaces
Starting point is 01:06:14 and for somebody that's like looking to rob you right now that doesn't seem that doesn't seem toward. That makes sense. Yeah. So you're like okay like this is going to inform a little bit about what you might so you might want to check out that necklace when you when you get a chance but clearly he's up to the challenge so you want to
Starting point is 01:06:34 shoot him with your bow right uh did did he say that he wanted he said what did you what did you say mutual assert destruction is this what he wants i gave the option you dropped the bag drop the bag or i shoot again clearly you have some glimmer on you you you're not a man who needs the money. So tell me what you're tell me what you want or I promise you
Starting point is 01:07:05 your family will not find your corpse. Okay. Roll intimidation for that. I'm giving you an advantage on this one. Three, but I got a three. Roll it again. 17. All right. Kerm, you
Starting point is 01:07:23 you're like, okay, maybe I'm He's about that. He might be about that life. He just ate some damage and he's not really phased about it and he's really, really talking that shit. So I, it's your choice. But how do you want to, how do you want to come across this? Like you've, you've had some run-ins in the streets before. I'll say this.
Starting point is 01:07:49 I'll tell you what. He doesn't look like, like, nobody's carried himself like this before. I heard you. But mama ain't raised no bitch, man. If I go out, I go out. I don't want to kill you right now. If I go out, I go out. If I go out, I go out, man.
Starting point is 01:08:05 If I go out, I go out. He's doing this to himself. Wow. This is incredible. This is incredible. We go out like Queen Latifah and set it off, bro. Let me get my cigarette. I shoot again.
Starting point is 01:08:23 All right. I need you to roll. I want you to roll 1D4. Okay, 12. 12. All right. All right, Jomey, you take 13 more damage as the missile comes careening over his head and it arches right onto your shoulder. And it's like just above that breastplate of yours.
Starting point is 01:08:49 It's, it cinches you right there. And it hurts that arm really, really bad. I'd say you're at like 50% health from what you've got. It hurts. It really, really hurt. And it's like, you're starting to bleed a lot. It's starting to hurt. So are we looking to proceed?
Starting point is 01:09:08 Are you going to fight him? Are you going to engage? We're nuked him in orbit. All right. You've dropped your elf. You arm your bow. He's about 120 feet away. Do you want to advance on him or do you want to move to the side?
Starting point is 01:09:27 Do you want to get close? I want to shoot him in the throat. All right, so we're looking for a normal shot with your bow. What we want to go is to roll for it to hit because it's a ranged attack. This isn't a spell that's like a guaranteed hit. So you got to make sure that your aim is right. So we got to roll to make sure that it hits. I need you to roll a D20 again.
Starting point is 01:09:54 Six. Oh, okay. All right. So you, you knocked your bow, you release. and the pain from that shoulder, that's your shooting arm. But shooting arm. It's my shooting arm.
Starting point is 01:10:09 So when you pulled it back, you kind of let it go, and like it kind of, it goes wide. It goes wide. It hits a tree right above her. Not really close, but like, wide left. It's a tree right there. You get a moment before you get to knock again. Now we're in a full-blown initiative.
Starting point is 01:10:26 We're in a battle here. So I'd say the last thing that we got to see, Jomi roll one more perception check. Three. Why do I suck at this? All right, but you have an advantage, so you're going to roll it again. 19. There we go. 19, boom, okay. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:10:45 So your Rangers, eagle eye, this is the last thing that you notice before we end here today. That shimmer on his chest, that is one of the golden seals of your family's noble house. I'm killing him. stolen from one of the you've only seen family members and
Starting point is 01:11:07 noted dignitaries of your family's house with this signal with this sigil and for some reason it is on this gnome's chest and you notice that the glimmer inside of that
Starting point is 01:11:23 it's been enchanted these are just normal pieces of jewelry for non-magical purposes just to their badges of honor. This is basically if you see him wearing some just elite shoes and he spray painted customs on them.
Starting point is 01:11:40 Jesus Christ. Like this is terrible. Like this is an affront to you and your family. And with that, we're going to put pause on this and see if these two will fight each other to the guest or become fast friends. Spoiler alert, I rip it off his corpse. All right. That is it going to do it for us here today.
Starting point is 01:12:01 on Mint Edition. That's a wrap. Be sure to catch us on Wednesday with the Midnight Boys giving you our instant reactions to the latest news and episodes regarding the Mandalorian.
Starting point is 01:12:13 And then on Friday, you could meet Joe and Mal with the House of R giving you their deep dives on the Mandalorian as well and our producer and our about that life,
Starting point is 01:12:25 mutual self-destruction and deed, Jonathan Kerma with additional production from our Juno Ramgo pal. Thank you once again, Junior Mints for rocking with us and stay tuned with us next time.
Starting point is 01:12:37 Who knows what we'll be talking about, but we'll be coming back soon. Jomey, do you got any parting words? Thank you guys for listening. We love and appreciate every single one of you. Shout out to our guy, Arjuna, for us up as always.
Starting point is 01:12:51 And of course, everybody, make sure you stay indoors and don't get yourself a case of hypokermia who are intrepid producer. We love you guys. Thanks as always for listening. And remember to roll for initiative. Zaddle Dill is about to be Zadled done.
Starting point is 01:13:11 Facts! What's the difference between butter and butter made from real California dairy? It's the real California farm families behind it. Real people. Real care. Real intention. Why? Because real matters. So whether you're poor. pouring milk, melting cheese, or just grabbing one more spoonful of yogurt. Keep it real. Look for the seal.
Starting point is 01:13:53 Real California milk by real California farm families.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.