The Ringer-Verse - 'Dungeons and Dragons' Instant Reactions | Mint Edition
Episode Date: April 3, 2023Grab your swords and long bows, then come along and join Steve and Jomi as they dive into 'Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves.' The guys get into the nuts and bolts of the film, some of their fav...orite scenes, and what other board games they feel can get the big screen treatment (40:00). Later, Steve leads Jomi and Kerm on a dungeon and dragons journey of their own (50:00). Hosts: Jomi Adineran and Steve Ahlman Producer: Jonathan Kermah Additional Production Support: Arjuna Ramgopal Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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And welcome into the Ringerverse.
The Ringers Nexus' podcast feed for all.
things fandom.
I am your host, Steve
Alman. Welcome back to Mint Edition.
It's the once-and-wild podcast.
But we talk about all of the latest fandom
that you just can't live without.
I once again am Steve Alman, your host,
and joining me as always as my co-host,
explainer of the Midnight Boys,
social's at the ringer.
And he's the richest man in Baldur's Gate.
It's Jobia Dineron.
Listen, if I was the richest man in Baldur's Gate,
I would not be doing this podcast.
You're going to get stuck in a vault somewhere?
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swimming, backstroking into all the coins.
Listen, Steve, this isn't some bedtime story.
This is the real world.
It says, yes, it is.
And I can't wait to talk to you about it.
But first, a little bit before we start this show,
some programming reminders before we begin,
this Wednesday you can catch up with us.
and the rest of the Midnight Boys,
giving our instant reactions
to the latest episodes
of the Mandalorian.
Who knows where it's going?
Are our expectations getting the better of us?
Find out every week.
And this Friday,
you'll find Joe and Mal
at the House of Art giving you
their deep dives into the latest episodes
of the Mandalorian as well.
But today, we're here
to give our shot
and roll for initiative once again
to talk about our impressions
of the latest film,
Dungeons and Dragons,
honor among thieves.
And maybe we have a little encounter
with some Dungeons and Dragons and characters of our own.
Some eagle-eyed listeners might know them from last time,
but more on that later.
And before we begin,
our friendly neighborhood spoiler warning for just the movie D&D.
There's not that much to spoil otherwise, but...
Are you sure?
We're not going to get...
We might get into some Transformers,
spoilers.
I mean, maybe, you know, the larger world of the Bayverse.
You don't know what this podcast holds.
You know what? If we have our own homebrew campaign movie
about the Beast Wars saga,
I think that we could probably safely say
that there's going to be spoilers for that. But just for now,
we'll talk about the fantasy film comedy,
Dungeons and Dragons. Are you ready, Jome?
I am ready. Let's roll.
Let's go.
All right, let's give you some of the nuts and bolts, Jome.
Duns and Dragons, Honor Among Thieves,
directed by John Francis Daly
and Jonathan Goldstein of Game
Night Fame, if anybody's got
some of that film goodness
in their wheelhouse. It's one of my favorites.
Starring Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez,
Regéjean Page, Justice
Smith, Hugh Grant, and
Sophia Lillis. Based on
the popular tabletop game created
in the 1970s,
the movie follows a journey of adventurers
and thieves out to write their wrongs,
and along the way,
maybe save the realm from total destruction.
Jomey at Dineron,
what did you think of this movie?
Oh, I loved it.
You know, we earlier this year, we talked about Voxmockina and how that was like my first ever introduction in D&D.
Like, I had only heard about it in passing and in Stranger Things, but in terms of actually getting involved in the material, I was not at all involved in any of it whatsoever, right?
And so coming to this movie, I did have a ton of expectations.
I was like, it's going to be Chris Prine and Michelle Abriguez doing.
Chris Prime, Michelle Riga stuff
in a fantasy world, and
you know, we'll see how that goes.
But I left the theater going, oh my gosh,
what a fun time. I
really, really, really
had a blast with this film. Steve, what about you?
I loved it as well. I think
this is a really fun time and a
like a refreshing
breath of fresh air
to go see something in the cinema that is
in a weird way
franchise and not franchise,
superhero but not superhero, fantasy, but
not fantasy? Well, very much fantasy. But you get what I'm saying, where this is the most
entry level, probably like, non-prequisite required viewing of any kind, sort of big blockbuster
filmmaking that we're not maybe even used to nowadays. I keep finding myself when I talk to my
friends about this movie. They're like, do I need to know anything about D&D? And I'm like,
even to play D&D, you don't even really need to know anything about D&D. So that's a tough
question to like reaffirm to make sure that like yes you're safe to watch this fun time at the
movies and not really know anything about it the most that you'll ever get is a very fun wink
and a nod that we'll talk about later to some gameplay elements to some things that are
known in the world this vast world that we find ourselves in but really for the most part you can
just take yourself for the ride and enjoy it and i've had a great great time with it uh
did you have any sort of like earlier impressions about like the world of Dungeons and Dragons or the fantasy elements of this that kind of was either going to put you off or not really like was there any concern going in that like this wasn't exactly going to be the movie that you wanted no and because like from the trailers you can see that there's they're not really like doing like the whole like they're not super immersive in terms of talking in yeo to English and like Michelle Rodriguez cusses like it's 2000 and
Right?
Like, it's all, like, pretty modern.
You can't stop Michelle Rodriguez from cousin like it's 2005.
That's very true.
It's all very modernized and very, like, on a base level so anybody can come in and be engaged, engaged with it.
And credit to, graded to her, credited Chris Pine.
Like, I just felt like I was watching, like, a regular heist movie set in the Oldland Times, you know, with magic and all those other elements.
like we had back then. Of course.
Everybody knows it. Right. And it was cool. It was fun.
Like the movie did what it had to do.
Like I was all right. Yeah. I was locked in.
It was those, it reminded me a little bit of like those old classic adventure films from the 80s or the 90s as well, like the Princess Brides, a bunch of other like fun fantasy shows that we would have like Willow and all these other things where like if you just take yourself and let yourself kind of get swept up in the world, you're going to.
have a good time with it because pretty much everything is shown to you and told to you in a very
entry level and simplistic way. Something that we're kind of not really used to. In the days of the
MCU, DCU, and all these other things, you kind of want to make sure that you haven't seen the last one
to get the first one. Do you need to know what this magical item is before you get this? I'm so
happy that we got to see something that's both funny, entertaining, um, sometimes a real sight to be
hold and actually wowed me a couple of times.
This was great. I don't think I could recommend
something like this more.
You know they do make movies
that like you don't have to, that aren't part of a bigger
universe all the time now.
I know and we can go to the big picture hosted by
Sean Fantasy and Madden Dobbins. We'd have good long discussions
about that. Do it all the time. Do it all the time.
Martin Scorsese is mad about something. What is he mad about?
Listen to the big pick.
but I wanted to kind of talk about first,
about the kind of connection that we have
to the tabletop game, Dungeons and Dragons
and what I would have liked to see
this movie capture, and I think does a pretty good job
because I've played Dungeons and Dragons for
the better part of a decade and a half.
It's been an excuse to hang out with my friends,
meet new friends,
kind of just have a great hang.
And Dungeons and Dragons is
the only board game or tabletop game,
or the first, I should say,
that has kind of given me a sort of sense of,
like, community and companionship and storytelling
and all of these great sort of adventures
that you can go on by yourself and with other friends
that are both improvised and scripted and haphazard
and kind of like a making and choosing of your own adventure.
to capture a sort of, oh shit, I did that, or a wonderful element of discovery to where you find all of
these wonderful creatures or villains or scenarios that are both created by you and by this world
that you're inhibiting.
And while the sort of cookie cutter boilerplate fantasy adventure that you might say that occupies
this movie, a lot of the attitude about what I just talked about is captured here.
There's a lot of discovery where a character would find a magical item that they've never seen before,
and then they find out how to use it properly, and they have a moment of ingenuity.
There's an aha moment that we get a lot of those times.
There's a thrilling chase sequence that you get to see a character's magical abilities
at the full breadth of their display because they're trying to be creative and how to get out of a scenario.
That's essentially what Dungeons and Dragons is about.
If you can think on your feet, if you can think creatively,
if you could find ways to
explore these
movesets and
magical items
that you can interact with
and think about fun ways to interact
in this world, that's the most rewarding part of it.
And I think that this movie really, really captures it.
But as a baseline movie, also works really, really well.
Do you think you would find this
accessible to
even somebody that isn't exactly
into fantasy? Because these are
creators, directors,
writers,
that were mainly
made their names
in comedies.
Do you think
that this is something
that you can easily
sell to somebody
that's like not even
really in the zeitgeist
of even what the ringerverse
might be into?
Well, I tell you what,
you know,
I think people see fantasy,
people think fantasy,
they think,
you know,
Game of Thrones,
they think Lord of the Rings.
You know,
I think this is,
you know,
I'm not going to say
on that,
that tier, right?
but it's in the same vein of, you know, you go to town and, you know, people that's all dirty and people have, you know, rags on and things like that.
And I think, like, just being like, hey, go watch this fantasy movie.
If you're not really into it, I think it'll be tough to get people involved because it's all about the look, right?
When people, like, look and they see that, then they're not going to enjoy it.
But in terms of the content, it's so, it's so, it's way much more accessible than any of that other stuff.
stuff.
Exactly.
Like, if you've seen a heist movie, if you've seen a comedy movie, this fits so much
more in that vein than honestly, it's got, it's got fantasy elements, it's got a fantasy
coding, but in its essence is a heist comedy, which, again, I love.
You know, so if you like that stuff, you're going to be into this movie, no matter what.
I couldn't agree more.
And I think that while some of these trappings and locations and, you know, dragons, wizards, all of these other things, they can seem relatively either inaccessible or wrapped up in sort of their own lore where you kind of feel like you need to be burdened with a sort of origin story of the magic of yada yada or this and that.
This movie's not really interested in those things.
It's really kind of just about placing you in a fun, backstory-driven scenario with our main characters,
and then the matter-of-fact way that it sort of presents both the magic, the big cities, these worlds, all of these other civilizations.
It's very, again, matter of fact.
You get to see cat people just wandering the streets, and nobody really bats an eye about it.
It's just there.
And Jomey, like, were you shocked when you got to see cat people or giant gnomes or golems,
like occupying a world that you're just like, okay, that's just there.
I'll tell you what, I was not, the big dragon was the one that got me.
I was like, hey, yo, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's a thick, that's a thick boy.
Yeah, yeah, it's like a fat cat version of a dragon.
And we're not, you know, we're no strangers to seeing dragons on screen, but you're just like,
okay, we got a little chalky one.
A little chunky boy, you know?
No, it was, like, again, like, it's a magical world where all these things exist
and all these things coexist.
And so it was, it was, it's definitely didn't take me out of the movie.
I was watching, like, I understood why a cat woman would be sad that her cat son was
swallowed up by a big fish.
Yeah.
Like a little, like a little, like a, I don't know, like it's too small to be a whale,
but it's too big to be a fish, you know what I mean?
Right, no.
It's like, it's like a, I mean, they're a chuna, you know, that are even like that big.
my gosh.
Tunas are deceptively big.
Have you ever seen a live?
Tuna?
Tuna, you get a ton of tuna.
That looked like a, that looked way bigger than like a...
I was in a Japanese fish market one time and I saw them like starting to like
cut off the pieces of the giant tuna.
It's like the size of a baby cow.
No, they're big tunas.
But I'm saying that was bigger than like the biggest tuna I've seen.
It's nuts.
And something that I absolutely loved for the most, most of this movie.
When it could.
it got away with a lot of fun practical effects.
That fish, real.
Those cat people, like just people in furry suits.
The amount of times that the, like a giant bird man is just a man in a bird costume.
Jonathan.
Jonathan.
We really want to make sure Jonathan's here for this.
He's got to be here.
Jonathan has to be here.
But something that really kind of struck my mind for most of this was the acceptance.
that we've kind of come to see
with a lot of these fantasy settings
from movies nowadays
because Dungeons and Dragons came out at a time
in the late 70s where
the creators of this game
were heavily influenced by stories
like Lord of the Rings
and other fantasy classics
that they wanted to make a game
kind of out of it. There were other like sort of
tabletop games that were not exactly
as popular or
booming as we would see
then in Dungeons and Dragons, but once
this was created, it created
a kind of a worldwide fervor
and a lot of religious outrage
because people thought that there was a lot of devil
worship and it promoted wizardry and all those
things. Did you ever have
like a moment where like you hear
the term Dungeons and Dragons for the first time and you don't
know what it is and you think
that it's something untoward?
Because I know Van is still concerned about this. I would try
to convince Van to play it and he's like
you're still worshipping Satan, right?
Listen, man, I, you know, I was growing up, bro, you know, I was hooping.
You know what I'm saying?
I was worried about Payne Manning's past stats.
Very true.
And, you know, dang, is, you know, is Kobe and Powell going to work it?
Or Kobe's Shack going to work it out.
You know what I mean?
Right.
Because we got to win chips.
Real trauma.
I wasn't locked in.
No, you weren't.
I wasn't locked in.
This is like the whole, this is a whole new thing.
This is like just now getting to me.
I'm like, okay, like this D&D thing.
This is for real.
This is what you're.
be doing all right. All right for sure.
Like I was not locked in at all.
At all to like, you know, the fact that people look at these things and they go, oh my
guess, scary.
It's not like, you know what I mean?
True.
It doesn't, you know, like cool.
You're making like you're making up a game.
Like who cares, you know what I mean?
Like rest in peace, Eddie Munson.
Very true.
Yes.
Rest of peace Eddie Munson.
Light spoilers for strangers.
I told you we spoiled something else.
Of course you.
We're going to be knocking at the door of the most devastating spoilers for
for stranger things.
All right, but back to Dungeons and Dragons.
Yeah, like, it's just, it's weird that like people, you know,
would be scared of this thing.
It's like, it's very much open, creative space for people to, you know,
explore dally themselves, but like a different world in ways that we do all the time,
watching TV, you know, reading books, you know, opening our imagination.
Like, I couldn't understand why people would
be so scared of this type of this type of world?
Neither would I.
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To get back to the movie, I'm curious if there's anything that didn't quite work for you.
I'm realizing now that this movie is like almost two and a half hours.
A lot of movie in this movie.
And that's a time of commitment that, you know, the John Wicks and MCU Fair of the world kind
of demand from us.
Do you think that this movie got a little too big in its britches asking for a whole two
and a half hours from us?
Or did you have a fun enough time to where it kind of went by a little bit?
crazy.
No, I think, you know,
you know,
so I leave,
I saw these,
these,
this movie the same week I saw John Wick, right?
Right.
And I left John Wick going,
oh,
man,
it was that long.
That's crazy.
Yeah, no time at all.
No time at all.
Oh, who's,
it was that a home?
Oh, boy.
Uh, not,
like that's,
you know,
it's, again,
I had a great time.
Mm-hmm.
It's a little,
it's a little,
it's a little,
you know,
we could have cut like eight minutes.
Look, I enjoyed the movie.
I enjoyed the movie, but it was like two,
almost like 240?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're like, we're getting up there.
Again, not to say that anything like really dragged
or poked around a bit,
but it obviously wanted to have a lot of bases covered
with a lot of sort of things that an adventure story
would like to have.
You have a heist.
You have an escape.
You have a sort of like a weird detective work scene.
the party that we are
carrying ourselves with for the rest of this movie
everybody has at least one moment to shine
very very well
even reggae Jean Page who is
not exactly in this movie for a long time
gets an incredible fight sequence
a great sort of
on the nose
this is how paladins
are there are a bit of dicks
types of dialogue scenes with Chris Pine
it's very very fun very funny
what
character kind of had your attention the most during this movie?
Oh, it was Chris Pride.
It was absolutely Chris Pine.
Watching the movie, I, and I think I told you this, like, right, I ever saw it.
I was like, br-I-starch-four.
It's annoying to me how much of a star, Chris Pine isn't at this point.
Like, how is he not dominated the MCU at this point?
How has he not been everywhere?
There's a thing, Stephen.
I know you're locked in on this.
I'm going to tap in.
Of course.
We talk about the Chris Wars, okay?
And really, they've been over for a minute.
I'm telling you, man, Chris Pine, he's been to top Chris for a minute, my boy.
For a minute, my boy.
We've been early adopters of the stock, and I've been staying on this island forever and never.
You know what I mean?
Like, we got Chris Pratt at the bottom.
No disrespect, but somebody's got to be last.
Well, Chris Kirkpenter.
Patrick. It's Chris.
Chris Kirkpatrick.
It's, it's Chris Pratt, then Chris Kirkpatrick.
Jesus Christ. And then the rest of the Chris.
You know, you can do you can flip whoever you want between Hemsworth and Evans.
Sure.
They're both great dudes. You know what I mean?
Evans. Evans. He got work coming out right now.
And I know Hemsworth, he locked in with his family doing their thing.
But Chris Pond is at the top.
Chris Pines has been at the top.
He's been killing it.
Killing it. And I'm, you know, I'm watching.
I'm like, you know,
a leader who is, you know, kind of smuggish, but like cares about his friends.
And despite the fact that, like, he can kind of be in over his head, he's doing his best
despite, like, failing and, you know, making up things as they go.
I'm like, bro, where, where was Kirk?
Exactly.
Bring back. Bring back Kirk.
Even to the point where Intimborahoga is, like, kind of doing, like, she's not as,
she's obviously not as
as smart as Spock
but she's doing the whole
straight man
to his, you know,
outrageous thinking.
I'm like,
where is it?
Where is Star Trek 4?
And these barbarians
not exactly the sharpest tools
in the shed,
but God damn it,
they're not loyal friends.
Right?
And people that'll help
take care of you.
So a bit of
Eaton's like quick background.
We have a lot of flashbacks
and a lot of like pretense
when it comes to him being in prison
because he was
out for revenge because the Red Wizards,
well-known villains from the Dungeons and Dragons
Universe, killed his wife and
pretty much got his
child in a lot of trouble. Now Hugh Grant, our main villain
aka Forge, is a nobleman of the city
and is hosting these gladiatorial games
with his daughter under duress, but not really kind of under duress,
but he wants to win back the affections of his daughter.
This is classic, like, and I don't want to say, I say threadbare in like a nice way, because at the heart of it, like, everybody that I've ever played Dungeons and Dragons with, every sort of dungeon master or player that we have, they're kind of screenwriters at heart.
They want to make like a sort of compelling, half-baked, like, nice story to, like, give them a character motivation and get that out of the way so they have an excuse to go on.
an adventure with everybody else.
And it doesn't detract from the movie because it's like how generic of an origin story is,
oh, they murdered my wife and I got to get my daughter back.
Like, that's all fine because the charm and care that this movie brings to all of these
characters is fun and lighthearted.
Well, that's, and that's why I enjoyed the movie a lot because it's like, it starts and
it sets the stakes for the world and for the characters, right?
They're both high and low at the same time.
Like you never feel like it's like too overbearing and too serious.
But it sets it very clear, hey, I'm here for my daughter.
B, the Red Wizards are going to take over the world if we don't stop.
Boom.
We're like, that's it.
That's it.
That's chilling.
You know what's the deal.
I know what the deal is.
Let's get cracking.
You know?
And again, with Chris Pine's signature charm, you're there.
You know, where's Jonathan?
At the same time, you feel for him losing his wife and having to raise the daughter and them getting caught and the entire thing.
And you feel some type of way about it.
And so when the movie goes on and you're supposed to be like, oh, no, his daughter, oh, Hugh Grant, Fitz Williams, he got his daughter line.
Oh, you feel some type of way.
When they've gone, they've got the treasure.
He's got his daughter.
they're sailing away from all their problems
and they turn around and they see that
Safina is going to destroy the city
you already know they're not even a question of the
oh they're not controlling you're like yeah
they're going to turn around to get this job done
because that's what they're supposed to do
that's what it means that it means a lot to them
to get that thing done
and so that's why I feel like the movie succeeded
because it set its expectations really well
from the jump
you get it from the jump
and it was just a role
of fun, you know, from then on.
I couldn't agree more.
Now, I want to talk about some
great sequences that we had in this movie.
I want to see if we can talk
about some of our favorite ones and see if we could pick
one of our most ones. So I
have Doric's one shot
escape from the castle. This is where she
is spying on the Red Wizard
and she is caught
and she has to quickly escape
while she's frantically changing it into
different animals and
disguises and
trying to get from inside of the castle
to all the way outside of the outskirts of town
and it's all done in this incredible one shot
where she's just transforming into a deer
and then an eagle and then a mouse
and all of these other things.
What did you think of this?
This was awesome to me.
I love that shot.
I didn't expect it coming into the film.
So when she's a fly and then she's a mouse
and then she goes into the armor
and she's walking in the armor
and then the guy cuts her off.
I'm like, oh my God.
Yeah.
But you're like, nope, I'm a mouse again.
And then leaps up, goes, and then she's like an eagle, falls down.
It becomes a cat, goes back to a human, and then tries to escape as a deer.
It was just like a really, like, and it takes like, what, like two, three minutes.
And it's so well done.
It's so fun.
And I did not come into that movie expecting that.
See, that I was like, oh, snap, they really trying.
Like, this is cool.
That's a capitalist filmmaking.
here. Yeah, no, that's, this is cool. This is fun. This is why you come to see a movie like this
to see them try all this wacky stuff out. And that really, really worked. That was one of the
best scenes, the entire movie, honestly, to me. All right. We also have comedically talking to
corpses to find out where something is. They left that one dude up to him. Was that five questions?
Yeah, that was five. That was five. That was good. But the first bit was like, was that was like real
game night type. Oh yeah.
Is that, did that kind of the question? Yes.
Yes.
I wasn't talking to him. I was talking to you.
Okay. Yep. Got it.
It's like, no, man.
Would I say okay? That's an answer, right?
No.
Dude. Dead. You're like, come on.
Like, that was, that's just excellent.
I think to me, that might be my favorite because that
captures the essence of the chaos of playing Dungeons and Dragons.
You're figuring something out in the moment where if you make a mistake,
and it goes horribly not the way that you want,
it's still really,
really funny when that happens.
Chubby dragon escape.
Thick boy.
Thick boy.
He was,
he was,
who,
I forget who said it.
Like,
there's a,
there's a dragon,
you know,
he's hiding all the gold and somebody was like,
is,
did he,
did he eat it?
Yeah,
did he eat the last hide out?
Did he eat the last hide out?
I was like,
guys, come on, man.
leave my guy alone
it's stuff I hear of
it's creaks man
it's not great to fat
shame a dragon
but maybe
you'll fat shame a dragon
I'm not
listen I'm not
fat shating no dragon
live your life
my boy
you look good
okay
I know that
you know
it was kind of
it was kind of
hard for him
to get into the
the cave
at the end there
right
but he was doing
his thing
he was doing his thing
yeah no
it was a bit
of a witty the poo
stuck in the
rabbit hole
situation
complicated
bridge crossing
this also
That was my favorite.
This was the perfect
like one for one.
This is how Dungeons and Dragons is played
where Ray John Page's character
is elaborately and
breakneck speed explaining how
this bridge works.
Well, so you got the even
the number tiles and then halfway
through that you switch to odd number tiles.
Well, you got the odd number tiles, right?
And it goes, well, one through five
and you get to the fifth one, you know,
you got to step on the odds.
But then halfway through,
You get to the even though it's house, right?
But then on the first one, it's the four ones.
And then Justice Smith, he goes, he just tubs, and it just crumbles.
And he like the look on his face of just despair.
So dejected.
It was just so bad.
That was the best part.
That had me rolling in the theater.
That was so funny.
And then finally, our labyrinth of death.
Gross.
Gross.
You didn't like a gelatinous cube?
I didn't like the gelatinous cube.
did not like the big jelly cube.
I really did like that.
I did.
It looked tasty.
Well, because it's the thing, right?
Every time, like, they go in, they're like, ah, tingly.
And I'm like, ah, I don't like that.
I had to feel.
Because I get digested?
Mm-hmm.
Can't imagine it feels great.
It's basically, like, a giant vat of stomach acid.
Oh.
But, like, it sucks you in and it doesn't let you go.
Like, you got really strong to pull that out.
It sucks because, like,
they're in there for like, I think all of like maybe 10 seconds.
Yeah.
And like their clothes are starting to burn a little bit.
Like it'll get you really good.
I like that a lot.
They had the,
the, the,
the, the, the, the panther,
but that had the,
illusion tentacles.
Also super scary.
Also very much a character in D&D.
Those things are sons of bitches, though.
It's the chest with the tongue in D&D?
Oh, the mimic chest.
The mimic chest.
that's got the tongue
that almost killed Michelle Riega is?
Yes, the mimic is basically
like it's a creature that like
pretends to be enticing things
usually in the forms of treasure
to entice people
to stick their hand out and
it will try to eat them.
You beat it with a perception check.
It was gross.
Yeah, but a fun scene.
A fun scene nonetheless.
Really, really fun. Love that a whole bunch.
And then we get
Bradley Cooper's unexplained cameo.
Dog, okay.
So, so, so that was the hardest I left throughout the whole film.
It, that was ridiculous.
I, like, I felt mad at myself because it ultimately felt cheap, but I couldn't, but not left.
Here's the magic, Steve, here's the magic that I see.
Right.
Because not only do they open the door and it's Bradley freaking Cooper.
Right.
Right.
He's playing Michelle Rodriguez's X.
or Hocus X
and
you know
they get into like
a really emotional
conversation
and it's actually like
pretty profound
it's very
it's so profound
because he's like
I like I was here
to help you through that
and you were just caught up
on the thing that you did for me
and you were and you got
and like I was like
oh my God
they're having like a real heart to heart here
like it
because it easily could have been played
for jokes like
ha ha
which it was
Brad well here's the thing right
ha ha Bradley Cooper was small
And Michelle Rodriguez
He's a gnome I believe
And he's like a halfling
Right?
Yeah he's a halfling
Because like
A gnomes are like one more squat
But yeah
And you know
Oh ha ha look
You know
It's Bradley Cooper playing a halfling
And Michelle Riggins used to get together
Ha ha ha ha
Then they always say this conversation
About their relationship
And you know
What they meant to each other
And how like
Despite the fact
They're on different paths now
Hey
I still got your back
Like it's cool
you know, whatever journey that you're on,
you know, I hope that you succeed.
And you're like, oh my gosh, that was,
that was beautiful.
Wow.
It really gives you context to like her character.
Exactly.
And, you know, we know, like, we'll talk about what happens to her later.
But that's the kind of stuff that, like,
I wasn't expecting out of this movie.
And, you know, for Battle of Cupert, you know,
take 10 seconds off.
the Guardians 3, you know, work.
And it come down and be like,
hey, I can play a halfling for two minutes.
You got me for two minutes,
what you need.
Well, Vio boots can really be anywhere.
He was, he was killing.
That was like a really, like,
it was great.
It could have been played just for laugh,
but it was awesome.
And it's like,
speaks to the heart of this film
and why it works so well.
And to know that his current girlfriend
is another warrior woman,
classic.
Well, they both,
they both clearly have a type
because you see he's got the same tall girl
when she comes back.
Not to discredit him.
No, but that's the end.
She, like, makes that little,
little, little, little mouth thing at the, the homie.
That's very true.
That's very true.
So they both very clearly got types.
To their credit, though,
gnomes, typically known for high charisma.
Hmm.
So, you know.
Hmm.
Don't play out our guys here.
Anyway.
Anyway.
Anyway.
I also want to talk about some of our favorite magical items that we got to see.
A lot of these all also,
also in Dungeons and Dragons.
But again, it's the matter-of-fact way
that we can just talk about, like,
having fun with cool magic shit,
and that's really the point of the game,
and it's the point of the movie as well.
The hit-a-dither-dither stick.
You mean the portal gun?
It's the portal gun.
Pretty much.
He lit that thing up.
And I, like, I Leo pointed it at the screen.
I was like,
that's portal.
That's portal.
Where's Cape Johnson at?
Right.
Who's yelling about lemons to me?
you know, where's Gladys at?
Like, sign me up.
I,
and, but to the degree at which it was used for the sake of the highest of,
like, sneaking into that carriage and putting it on a painting and then leaving it.
Like, that's the level of ingenuity that can happen in a game session, like, and whether
or not you're, like, I kept thinking to myself, I'm like, would a DM allow this?
Because I don't know if it could be on that kind of a surface or not.
Like, I was overthinking.
I was overthinking like the rules as to what the rule,
like the rules of this world would be.
It's moon rock, Steve.
It is moon rocks.
Work best on moon rock.
So that's what it was.
You got to keep your head open.
Got to remember that Cave Johnson said that.
Exactly.
It's very, very true.
We see packs of holding,
which is basically like infinite backpacks,
Mary Poppins style.
We have seeing stones,
which is essentially like a rocks being walkie-talkies.
Yeah, that was,
I didn't get it because he was,
like, this is the, you're seeing the stone? And I was like, you're not seeing anything. You're talking
into them. Right. I don't, I was like, that's confusing. Why did you, they miss that? But it's also,
so the funny thing about like, I, the personal story for me, like, we had seeing stones, but I think
our DM didn't quite read the rules on how seeing stones work for a while. So we had just
used it all the time and they don't just last for an hour. Like, we had done, we had just been like
across the world, like, just calling people on, on, on, on,
landlines the whole time.
Oh, my God.
Like unlimited talking text.
You know how it is, you know, like, well, first of all, unlimited data these days,
and I mean, unlimited calling text.
I had a premium for you.
I can't imagine, you know, it's different in, you know, wherever land you guys are.
Well, that's the future now.
You know what I'm saying?
That's the thing, though.
Like, adventurers normally are, like, secretly rich because they have so many valuable
things on them.
like a wand is worth like several gold like a normal amount of like to get like three square meals a day you need like five copper all i'm saying is it's it's
twenty twenty three we have to have a limited toxic talking text wherever we go i mean like this it makes no sense to be like
oh up your time's up you got to go go to pay five dollars and call collect you know i mean like let's let's
relax actually be able to call my homie forever that's true do you think carrot top
is doing ads for
calling collect seeing stones
I don't think so
would he tell us to dial down the center
with seeing stones
he's trying to get us into
into chirp phones
that's what's trying to get us into
trip phones that's great
I like how we're trying to like invent apps
for Dungeons and Dragons
it's very very fun
all right so Paramount has like
teased the future of this
with both shows and films
in the Dungeons and Dragons universe.
Do you think with this movie
that we are
justifying a franchise existing here?
Do you want to see a sequel? Do you want to see
these characters again? Like, what do we...
Are we getting too much too fast here?
Yeah, you gotta...
Like, let's stick with the sequel. Let's see how the
sequel does first. Then we can
start talking about franchising and
Paramount Plus spin-offs
and things of that nature.
I think you're moving too slow at the
times, Jomey. That's exactly where we're
Right now, man, Kate, it's not really like that.
Taylor Sheridan blew up the Yellowstone universe in like three years.
Again, but that's so, that's such like a different animal, right?
Like, no, this is the same beast.
No, no, no, no.
Because think about it, right?
Steve, what if I told you tomorrow we getting a success has been off, right?
But it's, we're getting Carl.
We don't have to watch Carl.
You know what I'm saying?
That's not where I'm at.
ends up at the end of this series.
I don't really care about Carl, to be quite
honest with you like that.
Depends on where Carl is at the end of this.
If they're like, hey guys,
we're getting a D&D spinoff
or remember that cat baby that we
saved, it turns out he was
really important. I mean,
all right, you know what I mean? We all know how good of an idea
the John Snow Solo feature is going to be.
So I think we're in pretty
good hands with getting
an infinite number of Dungeons and Dragons
sequels, prequels, and
Quadrequels.
Just give me the sequels, man.
Let's start cooking there.
All right.
Would you want to see some new characters in this world, or would you want to see the same
characters?
I want to see the same characters.
Yeah, bring everybody back.
Maybe not a Regéjean page solo film.
His adventures of being an obnoxious paladin, which I do love.
Look, he's a, look, we got to talk about him for like two seconds.
All right, because he, like, throughout all the trailers,
for all the branding.
I'm thinking he's
part of the, he's such a big part of the movie.
He's part of the team.
They've got a starting five.
Okay, Chris Pine is at the point.
Okay.
They got Michelle at the five.
Okay.
Bragey, that's your three.
You know what I mean?
That's your three and D.
You know, he's going to spot up shoot.
He's also going to, you know, play some good defense.
He's in the movie for 10 minutes,
maximum.
It is odd, but also, like, again, I feel like, I'm not making excuses for this movie.
I really am not, and I'm not trying to say that it's worse than it actually is, but I just think too much about the, like, meta's story, about, like, people playing this game and why he wasn't exactly in the entire story.
Like, this is, like, a friend that joined once for one session and left after they were done, like, because this goes on for, like, way too long.
So like your friend comes over for one session, that's Reg Ejean page.
Like he's like the cool paladin that shows up, does a cool thing.
And he's like, and now I must go and leave and do my own thing.
Like that's, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm going to do this D&D.
And then I'm like set the place on fire and just go home.
That's great.
And just be like, all right, guys, you guys, good luck.
Good luck dealing with my problems.
Good luck.
Oh, so you're just going to make everybody's day worse.
Oh, yeah.
Good luck doing my problem.
And success.
I actually, I found a wife.
We went and we decided to live happily ever after in these green lands.
Only enough to the dragons could you live happily ever after with a wife after five hours?
Yeah, I'd just be like, goodbye.
See you guys.
We got it all done.
Yeah.
Enjoy the, the problems I have left for you to deal with.
I definitely think that we can see more of this world.
I think that the beauty in this is going to come from seeing new and different characters and different stories.
because I think that's also capturing the essence of what the game is.
And it gets like an idea for like a lot of more fun,
interesting actors and stories to come along with this world.
Obviously, this was a great time.
Obviously, I would love to see these characters again.
But I think like having a fun refresh after every time,
it also makes you feel like you don't need to be sequelifying every single thing all of the time.
There can be fun one-offs.
There can be fun things that you don't need these entry-levels.
prerequisite movies all the time for.
I think that's a refreshing because it's as a refreshing
a movie as this was, given everything we've seen
in the past few years.
Hey, Steve, you know if it's still
Dunders and Dragons and it's not a sequel, it's still a
franchise, right? Like, it's still a...
Yeah, of course. It's still a brand.
All right, I'm just making sure.
Yeah, but just, you know, the comma is different.
It's a different comma? The different colon?
Different colon. I'm just making sure.
Thebes among honor.
Oh! Because, you know what I'm saying?
because, you know, like Chris Prime really, you know, showed us something here when you get the next one.
And it's Chris Pratt.
You know what I'm saying?
All right.
Listen, let's not go that far.
Listen, we've still got Chris Patrick to call up.
Hold on.
Still calling him Chris or Patrick first.
I'm just saying they got a little, they got a formula here that works.
Why mess with it?
You know what I'm saying?
Don't change the recipe too much.
You know, add a little more in here.
Let's keep it moving.
All right.
Well, before we move on to our little experiment here, I want to get a couple of suggestions for you.
for what other board games do you think
could get the big screen Hollywood treatment?
Just rattle off a couple.
I want to see Sorry
as a
as a video game movie.
Who is starring and what is the plot of sorry?
All right, so it's John Malkovich, right?
Great.
And he's, man, he's been tough.
Got four kids.
Okay, one lives in a greenhouse,
one lives in the yellow house, blue house,
red house, etc., etc.
Okay.
We're going literal here.
And, you know, he hasn't been the greatest father.
You know, Simon's almost up.
Sure.
Yeah.
Okay.
He knows what he's got to do.
He's got to say, sorry.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Listen.
Okay, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Where's the plastic dome with the dice that, like, you push it down and then it pops up to roll?
I mean, that's all post.
That's all we're at that in post.
Okay.
But is that like a fight scene?
Is that where like he's got a color of faces?
No, that's like the last?
That's the last, because, you know, he's apologized to the kids, the blue kid.
That's the hardest.
You know, I mean, she's the oldest.
You know, he put her through the ringer the most, you know, being neglectful, not really, you know, paying attention.
So when it comes time to it, you know, she's the one who's like, nah, you need exactly two spaces.
You have to roll a two to get here.
If not, sending you all the way back.
And then John Malmich is like, that's a bullshit rule.
if I can pass it, then I can make it.
Exactly.
You know, you see the vision.
Of course.
You see the vision.
Sorry, you know, sorry.
It's really it.
No, in all,
in all serious,
it's not.
And oh, yes, of course.
Uh,
but really, folks.
You know,
they've already made,
like,
all the,
all, like,
the ones with the human characters
already have,
like,
sure.
Really good,
you know,
or at least adaptation attempts.
Like,
Clue.
It's probably,
like, the best board game movie ever,
right?
Did the OG one.
you know,
turns out
Jamanji technically is a board game
and it came out
after the same year
as well it came out
the same year's movie
I don't know what came first
Steve.
I mean that was to be fair
that was like a tandem brand deal thing
where like we okay
the movie's coming out
we got to make the board game
for kids
which felt cheap
because I had that board game
and I'm like no I want the real one
I want it made of wood
and I want it like
bespoke and you want the one
where like they start talking
like it's time to run
and you don't
house start sinking. And then a champagne comes through my house. Yeah. You start looking
around. You get sucked into the board game. And then 60 years
later, we got to bring, we got to dig you up. And it's like, hey,
by the way, Steve, not only is, has everything changed? Not only
is everything you know gone. Your parents are dead.
So. I mean, but did I win? Like,
that's really all that matters here. It was crazy, man.
Some psycho with a gun just comes out.
into your house and hunts you like a game.
D.
And like the movie does a thing where like the move, the game ended.
Everything's back to normal.
Like he did go back, right?
To his.
Yeah, but you've lived like 40 years.
There's a whole different timeline where he disappeared.
Like, okay, we're getting into the weeks now, right?
Yeah.
You got to hear us out real quick.
There's a whole timeline where he disappears, uh, those two kids who were,
orphans, right, are still
like, like what happened to them?
David Allen Greer makes the new Nike's.
It's all over
because he comes back and they're like,
oh man, that was crazy.
Remember me?
He's lived a whole life,
an entire life.
And he comes back being a child.
In a, right?
Man in a child's body.
The implications are insane.
Sorry, let's get back on topic.
But it's nuts.
The implications of Jumanji are insane.
I would like to see risk on the big screen.
Granted, that's just like an old-timey battle simulator.
But I think it's just a great action franchise waiting to happen.
So you've seen war games, Steve?
Yeah, but no, it's not war games, but it's not war games.
All right?
This is period accurate.
You're the general, like our main character is the general,
and he's just like looking at boards.
and he's trying to figure shit out
and then like it's illustrated when like
he's putting pieces on the thing
then it's illustrated in the movie
with people like you know outflanking
so and so and then I don't know
a politician is mad somewhere I think that's got
could be fun and then we can do it in like different time
zones
where it's like the future
2099 and then
you can do I don't know
wars in Egypt and stuff like that
you think Candyland would make a good
board game movie
I think that's like on par with like some
trippy Alice in Wonderland stuff, so maybe.
But the stakes have got, it's got to be very, very grotesque to me.
Okay, okay.
Let's stop and talk about this.
Like the chocolate monster is like his teeth are nougat and he's just like very ugly and
stuff.
Steve has got with you right now.
Candyland?
No, obviously not.
I've played Candyland.
Steve, this is a G-rated film for children.
Why?
See, now you're just, now you're making a PG-13 Nandiland.
The Lego movie was PG at least.
Yeah, but I mean, I don't want to scare the children, Steve.
No, we can scare the kids.
Bill's care.
No.
Yes.
Bring back scaring kids and your kids' moves.
Man.
Man, God forbid kids go to the movies and enjoy themselves.
God forbid their parents do too.
Come on.
All right.
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balanced diet and healthy lifestyle may help reduce the frequency of minor digestive discomfort,
which includes gas, bloating, rumbling, and abdominal discomfort. So for our final segment here,
we're going to do a little brief adventure time with Jomey and our super producer Kerm.
Kerm, how are you?
I'm chilling, chilling.
What's good, guys.
Adventure time.
Come on, grab your friends.
We're going to very distant land with Jomey the host and Kermr the producer.
The fun will never end.
It's adventure time.
All right, run that up to the legal, Kerm.
You're going to be fine.
It's all going to be good.
I changed four words.
We're going to be great.
Yes, obviously.
All right.
So we're going to have a little adventure here.
Anybody who's been listening to Mint Edition for a minute would recall our Vox Machina episode where we basically made up some characters for a little D&D role-playing game session by the names of Leodin Zaire and Zuma Khan Zaddle.
That's Christ.
So what we're wanted to do here today is
Kind of start a little very small very quick encounter
Where our two heroes might actually meet each other
So our last episode
Kerm wanted to have a little run-in
With this high elf ranger
Because he's racist
Because he's racist
So Kerm could you describe your character for the audience
To be uninitiated real quick
Zuma-Kine?
Zaddle Dittle is a gnome wizard with a biased against elves because at a young age, he was
jumped by a whole pack of elves.
It was just going in on the boy.
And he's forever scarred and can never trust an elf again.
All right.
And he also has got a fancy like gold chain pendant where he, where most of his magic power
stem from.
Okay, cool.
And Jomey, why don't you describe your character for us?
What's going on?
Bill Dins Ayer.
half, half human, half high elf ranger.
You know, he left his noble elf family to, you know, help the people of the lower class.
And, you know, he's just, he's just a really cool dude who, you know, doesn't beat up el gnomes.
So he doesn't understand why Azumacan is such a hater.
Like, he can't represent around it, really.
Well, he doesn't know anybody by that name yet.
But from what I could gather, you are also on the outs with your father.
and that's why you left your family?
Yeah, me, my dad wants me to, like, rule.
And I'm like, no, dad, I can do much more good helping the humans
my half than being, like, you know, Elf King.
Okay.
So I'm going to be what's called game mastering or game managing here.
I'm going to basically give a sort of, like, description of where things can be
and what can happen in this world.
and I'm going to help Jomi and Kerm along with how to play and encounter these things.
So Kerm is a wizard.
Jomi is a ranger.
Kerm, Zuma Khan is, he's a wizard who is also like aiding criminals, if I can remember.
He lives in the mountains, but he's basically like blessing and enchanting both jewelry and weapons to give them magical properties.
and he's a big fan of, you know, selling some stuff to some passers-by and things like that.
And you were on a supply run selling off a couple of your wares in the city,
and you're on your way back to your home in the mountains,
and you pass through the forest like you usually do.
But you decide to take a different path, kind of just like, you know,
taking the sights a little bit.
And you are walking down this, like,
lesser known path that you've been on, but like it doesn't see, it seems fairly well worn.
And you come across, you see in the distance a figure in, maybe I'd say about like a couple hundred feet away.
And I want you to roll a perception check.
So what I want you to do is take that digital 20-sided dice that you have here, give it a click and tell me what you roll.
Okay.
So the orange one is good?
Yeah, it doesn't matter with me.
Okay.
Just checking in, checking in.
We got 20.
It says 20.
Oh, my mom, it says total 20.
You got a natural 20.
Yo, I swear to God.
You are not, this is your first role.
Okay, man.
This is, okay, this is where I'm going to, honestly,
Nat 20 already.
Arjuna's freaking out.
All right, Nat 20 already.
So you can clearly, all the way, off in the distance,
you see this very well, well-coft-haired,
sort of well-dressed, but it's like,
it's worn clothes, but you know that these are very,
very good clothes.
Worned by a ranger who is carrying with ease,
a giant elk over his back.
He's clearly back from a hunt.
So he's got the strength.
He's got a strength and everything,
but you see that he has a very healthy
looking coin purse strapped to his side.
Is there?
Sounded like a lick to me.
So does that sound like somebody that you want to rob?
Correct.
Correct.
You want to rob this person?
Okay.
I would like parts.
So you as a gnome, you as a smaller person, you have an advantage in stealth.
You have advantages in charisma because of your magical pendant.
How do you want to, you see him coming on the road and you kind of stop in your tracks.
how do you want to look to rob this person?
Can I summon a long-distance weapon similar to, you know,
similar to a sniper rifle, but I guess with magical tendencies.
We aim in for the leg.
We shoot them in the leg with our magical beam that I summoned.
What?
Could I do that?
All right.
So I think
All right, well, I'll
inform you that this isn't call of duty
and that this is actually like a
like Lord of the Rings type situation.
But I think that the spell
that you might be referring to
is a spell called magic missile.
Yes, exactly, Steve.
Thank you.
So what you want to cast is magic missile.
That's a level one incantation.
This range is about 120 feet.
The target is a creature of your choice
and it can be instantaneously cast.
So what you do is you create three glowing darts
of magical force.
Each dart can hit a creature of your choice
that you can see within range.
A dart deals one D4 plus one force damage to its target.
The darts all strike simultaneously,
and you can direct them to hit one creature or several.
So what you want to do, this is a guaranteed hit, by the way.
So if you cast this, it is going to hit him.
But you're kind of seeing that he's kind of far off,
but you realize that he's got to come closer to know that he's been in range.
So, do you want to wait and see where he's,
what he's going to hit?
Do you want to hide?
What do you want to do here?
Hmm.
We will hide.
Can I make myself invisible?
Do I have that ability?
You cannot make yourself invisible, but you see a little, roll a perception check.
Got you, got you, got you.
We're rolling.
17
17 okay so you see a couple of ample
like
bushes and trees
and then like to your right
you can kind of see like a
small
undercropping like you know how like when
there's like a sort of like a bit of a ravine
and you can
like have like hide in a bit of a reservoir
do you want to hide in the reservoir or do you want to hide by the trees
by the trees let's hide in the trees all right
so roll a stealth check
for hiding in the trees.
Rolling.
Damn, it's a one.
All right, well, you have advantages in stealth,
so I want you to roll again,
and I want you to take the highest number
of that roll.
And 11.
Okay, 11.
All right, so I'm going to do the math here.
Okay, I can't tell you how you did,
but I'm going to throw to Jomey over here now.
So Jomi, you, coming back from a hunt,
walking down,
coming down the road,
you're walking down.
down there and you as you're as you're walking as you're walking a bit closer uh down from your uh your
your perch you're feeling pretty good about the hunt um i want you to roll a perception check 16 16 all right
so you do have advantages in perception as well so that's a plus three all right so you see a gnome
kind of just sitting oh bush kind of like interesting about about like 200 feet away
And he's just like kind of sitting there like waiting for something.
You don't really know what.
Waiting for something.
You don't really know what.
Interesting.
How do you want to approach this?
Can I blow up the Dutch flag?
I would say you don't really have a reason to do that.
I don't have a reason to do that.
Oh, interesting.
Okay, there's a gnome there.
Can I, hey, pal, what's, what's up?
Can I like engage the gnome?
Because clearly I see him.
Okay. Curam, you, you see that the, that the Ranger has spotted you and just said hello. Do you want to respond? What are you going to do here? Can I wave back and then shoot? If that be possible?
That's crazy.
So you just, so you wave hello and then you cast magic missile within range. Okay.
All right.
You cast magic missile.
So violent.
So you have now waited until he's within like about 200 feet away.
No, no, no.
You're about 120 feet away.
Okay.
So you roll, so roll 1D4.
And so it'll be the dice mark of the four on it.
Also, do I get to choose where I'm targeting with these shots?
Well, you're targeting him.
It's not exactly like a part of his body or anything.
Okay.
It'll just be him.
Like, I can't be like I'm trying to take out the knee, like an arrow to the knee, trying to just slow him down.
No, that's it.
You can do that at higher level.
but you're not as high.
I'm not there yet.
Okay.
So I got to roll again?
So you know, you just roll one, D4.
Roll.
I got nine.
You got nine.
Okay.
So you, you, Jomi, you take 10 force damage.
Wow.
Straight to your gut.
Wow.
It like hits you right in the gut.
And it hurts pretty bad.
It like really, really, really hurts.
Man.
And I'd say it's like kind of just like a small pierce in your skin.
You're bleeding just a little bit,
but you immediately drop your elbow.
to tend to your side here.
How do you want to engage?
I want to blow this gnome off the face of the area.
All right, well, you have a bow on you.
You have your mother's noble,
elegantly designed bow that you were just using in the hunt prior.
I take it you want to take a shot at him then?
Here's, I want to give him a warning.
I want to be like, hey, not a warning shot.
I'm like, hey, don't want any trouble, man.
I'm just trying to get, you know what I'm saying?
I'm just trying to get my oak.
Okay, so are you looking to persuade him or are you looking to intimidate him?
I am looking to intimidate him.
Listen, I will kill you.
Okay, so you're going to be yelling at him.
You're like, hey, man.
I will end you, my boy.
Like, listen, we don't have to do all this.
Give me your, give me, okay, you know what?
I'm going to do this for you.
I don't want to be exact.
Give me your exact words to him that you would say and then I'm going to have you
roll for this.
Hey, look, gnome guy.
I don't want no, you don't want no problems.
okay, I am trained
in the art of every weapon known to man
if I see you
I will kill you
let's be gracious here
let's both go our separate ways
and nobody has to get hurt
is that cool
all right so
not as intimidating as I might have thought
but let's roll for intimidation here
give me a roll for your D20
15
15
All right, that's pretty good.
Okay, Kerm, so you're getting an idea that this guy might know his business and you might, like, this looks like a tough customer.
You're getting a look at that bow.
You're seeing the strength that he had to drop that elk with.
How do you want to handle this?
Hey, man, this sounds like mutually assured destruction to me, you know, going both ways.
You drop the golden bag.
I don't shoot again.
You just drop your money.
Keep going.
We could.
Jomey, I want you to roll
a perception check real quick.
Three.
Three?
Yeah.
You're a hunter.
You have an advantage on perception?
I'm going to give you one more roll for that,
and you're going to take the highest number.
One.
All right, all right.
So, as he's saying this,
you see a sort of like half glimmer in his chest.
Could you roll a,
what's going to be called a knowledge check here.
This is basically to inform you
as to something that you might think about him.
So roll for a knowledge check.
Or his 20 check.
20 for that.
Natural 20?
No, no.
You said I'm rolling the 20 dice, right?
Yeah, yeah, the 20 side of dice.
Okay, okay.
12.
12, okay.
So you've realized that like you've often seen,
you've never really seen gnomes
with like a shiny necklace like this
and that's a bit odd
to you. You've noticed that like only really
rich people or noble people wear
those types of necklaces
and for somebody that's like looking to rob you right now
that doesn't seem
that doesn't seem toward.
That makes sense.
Yeah. So you're like okay
like this is going to inform a little bit about
what you might so you might want to check out
that necklace when you when you get a chance but clearly he's up to the challenge so you want to
shoot him with your bow right uh did did he say that he wanted he said what did you what did you
say mutual assert destruction is this what he wants i gave the option you dropped the bag
drop the bag or i shoot again clearly you have some glimmer on you you you're not a man who
needs the money.
So
tell me what you're
tell me what you want
or I promise you
your family will not find your corpse.
Okay.
Roll intimidation for that.
I'm giving you an advantage on this one.
Three,
but I got a three. Roll it again.
17. All right.
Kerm, you
you're like, okay, maybe I'm
He's about that.
He might be about that life.
He just ate some damage and he's not really phased about it and he's really, really talking that shit.
So I, it's your choice.
But how do you want to, how do you want to come across this?
Like you've, you've had some run-ins in the streets before.
I'll say this.
I'll tell you what.
He doesn't look like, like, nobody's carried himself like this before.
I heard you.
But mama ain't raised no bitch, man.
If I go out, I go out.
I don't want to kill you right now.
If I go out, I go out.
If I go out, I go out, man.
If I go out, I go out.
He's doing this to himself.
Wow.
This is incredible.
This is incredible.
We go out like Queen Latifah and set it off, bro.
Let me get my cigarette.
I shoot again.
All right.
I need you to roll.
I want you to roll 1D4.
Okay, 12.
12.
All right.
All right, Jomey, you take 13 more damage as the missile comes careening over his head and it arches right onto your shoulder.
And it's like just above that breastplate of yours.
It's, it cinches you right there.
And it hurts that arm really, really bad.
I'd say you're at like 50% health from what you've got.
It hurts.
It really, really hurt.
And it's like, you're starting to bleed a lot.
It's starting to hurt.
So are we looking to proceed?
Are you going to fight him?
Are you going to engage?
We're nuked him in orbit.
All right.
You've dropped your elf.
You arm your bow.
He's about 120 feet away.
Do you want to advance on him or do you want to move to the side?
Do you want to get close?
I want to shoot him in the throat.
All right, so we're looking for a normal shot with your bow.
What we want to go is to roll for it to hit because it's a ranged attack.
This isn't a spell that's like a guaranteed hit.
So you got to make sure that your aim is right.
So we got to roll to make sure that it hits.
I need you to roll a D20 again.
Six.
Oh, okay.
All right.
So you, you knocked your bow, you release.
and the pain from that shoulder,
that's your shooting arm.
But shooting arm.
It's my shooting arm.
So when you pulled it back, you kind of let it go,
and like it kind of, it goes wide.
It goes wide.
It hits a tree right above her.
Not really close, but like, wide left.
It's a tree right there.
You get a moment before you get to knock again.
Now we're in a full-blown initiative.
We're in a battle here.
So I'd say the last thing that we got to see,
Jomi roll one more perception check.
Three. Why do I suck at this?
All right, but you have an advantage, so you're going to roll it again.
19. There we go.
19, boom, okay.
Oh, shit.
So your Rangers, eagle eye,
this is the last thing that you notice before we end here today.
That shimmer on his chest,
that is one of the golden seals of your family's noble house.
I'm killing him.
stolen from one of the
you've only seen
family members and
noted
dignitaries of your family's house
with this signal
with this sigil
and for some reason it is on
this gnome's
chest and
you notice that the glimmer inside of that
it's been enchanted
these are just normal
pieces of jewelry for
non-magical purposes just to
their badges of honor.
This is basically if you see him wearing some
just elite shoes and he spray
painted customs on them.
Jesus Christ. Like this is terrible.
Like this is an affront to you and your family.
And with that, we're going to put pause on this
and see if these two will fight each other
to the guest or become fast friends.
Spoiler alert, I rip it off his corpse.
All right.
That is it going to do it for us here today.
on Mint Edition.
That's a wrap.
Be sure to catch us on Wednesday
with the Midnight Boys
giving you our instant reactions
to the latest news
and episodes regarding
the Mandalorian.
And then on Friday,
you could meet Joe and Mal
with the House of R
giving you their deep dives
on the Mandalorian as well
and our producer
and our
about that life,
mutual self-destruction
and deed,
Jonathan Kerma
with additional production
from our Juno Ramgo pal.
Thank you once again,
Junior Mints for rocking with us
and stay tuned with us next time.
Who knows what we'll be talking about,
but we'll be coming back soon.
Jomey,
do you got any parting words?
Thank you guys for listening.
We love and appreciate every single one of you.
Shout out to our guy,
Arjuna, for us up as always.
And of course,
everybody, make sure you stay indoors
and don't get yourself
a case of hypokermia
who are intrepid producer.
We love you guys. Thanks as always for listening.
And remember to roll for initiative.
Zaddle Dill is about to be Zadled done.
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