The Ringer-Verse - ‘Fast 9’ Instant Reactions | The Midnight Boys

Episode Date: June 28, 2021

Van and Charles rejoin for a special look at the latest entry in the ‘Fast & Furious’ franchise, ‘F9.’ They discuss their initial reactions, how it affects the greater franchise (03:19), and the epic return of Han (32:28). They close by giving out their own superlatives for the series, "The Fasties" (55:25). Hosts: Van Lathan and Charles Holmes Producer: Steve Ahlman Social: Jomi Adeniran Additional Production: TD St. Matthew-Daniel Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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terms. Enter the ringerverse. This is of course, the ringer is a nexus podcast fee for all things fandom. Look, we're deep in the middle of talking about The show that's captivated the entire internet, which is, of course, the MCU show Loki, which is airing right now on Disney Plus, The Midnight Boys.

Me and Charles Holmes, the Midnight Boys, a pew-boo! We are covering Loki every Wednesday. That's what we're doing. Every Wednesday, we're covering Loki. Instant reaction. We're dividing the internet with our instant reactions. We love it. We love the smoke.

We love that smoke. focus, what we love. And then, of course, Friday, you get the more in-depth sort of weekly analysis from Mallory Rubin over at the House of Mal and a roving, rotating guests of really brilliant people over there. So that's what we're doing. But right now we're doing neither of those things because this is a special emergency, special edition of the Midnight Boys, all sitting around the latest entry. in the Fast franchise. This is all about not Loki, not the MTCU,

we're getting into our cars and we're driving them to Mars because we are talking about Fast 9. Okay? Fast 9. We're going to have even more surprises for you coming up on the Ring Reverse feed,

and this is one of those surprises because we're about to talk about Fast 9, a movie that I had the pleasure of seen in Los Angeles with Jomey and Kalika and my friend Dan, we all went to go see the movie Oh, wow. Nobody invited me. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Midnight Boys breaking apart at the scenes right now. How are the Midnight Boys breaking apart at the scene when me and Jomey went and Jomey is one of the Midnight Boys?

You missed the third Midnight Boy. What about Steve? What about us who aren't in L.A.? Oh, well, here's the thing. Steve is not in L.A. Steve is in Chicago, babysitting a friend's dog, which is interesting to me for nothing. He's doing, he's getting nothing from it. He gets nothing, but he's just doing it. As I'm telling you, it's good. It's good to be Steve. Like, he's like, I have baby to my first dog. Wait, really quick before we dive into our thoughts on Fast Nine. Do you got ski poles in the back?

Were you skiing? Those are walking sticks. I use those to walk. Oh, man, Van, you need a cane out here? No, I have two walking sticks. And they help me when I walk to keep my hands above my waist, so my hands don't swell when I walk. Let's get to the goddamn movie.

You know what I mean? All right, so let's go. Fast Nine. We saw it. We're going to move on right. now. But before we move on to talk about this movie and all the crazy car shit that happened on the screen, we got to do this. You guys, roll a spoiler warning. We're getting ready to talk about the movies. You're listening to a reaction podcast.

The spoilers are coming. I love, I love the fact that they change it up a little bit because we're talking about the movie and now the show. You guys think of everything over there behind the Steve's a mad genius sometimes. Steve can be a mad genius. Steve is a mad genius. Steve is a mad genius. Okay, straight up. You saw this movie.

It had a big trailer, ooze and eyes. What was your initial reaction to all this shit happening on screen in Fast 9? I don't know. I might be grading it on a curve because I was stuck inside for like an entire year. And this was like the movie I've been waiting for. But I was just like, oh my, oh my gosh, they did it. They did the thing. stunt is better than the last stunt.

There's the jokes. My family, I haven't seen them in years. It was a transcendent experience. It was like almost going to like Black Church. It was like, it washed over me. The spirituality washed over me. Ben, can you let me have this? Can you let me be happy about one thing in my

life without being negative, raining on my parade? So you had high expectations for the movie going in and you feel like the movie met those expectations is what you're saying. Yes. But I will say, I'm grading on the pandemic curve of I'm just happy to be in a movie theater. See, I don't want you to grade on the pandemic curve.

I want to know based upon what you thought. Because here's the thing, the pandemic curve thing I understand. And a lot of people are saying this stuff about different films. And even when I went to see a quiet place too, I was like, hey, you know what? It was really great to be back out of the movies. That was actually a pretty decent movie, but it was really great to be out of the movies. This is the first film I feel like we shouldn't grade on the pandemic curve. This is a big, huge, I saw this IMAX, you're there, you're supposed to enjoy the movie.

The movie is supposed to entertain you. Forget about the pandemic curve. Can you forget about it? If there was no pandemic curve. If I'm forgetting about the pandemic curve, I will say that, like, I still think that this was like a good action movie, better than most action movies. In the whole kind of rankings of Fast and Furious would not break my top five. would probably be towards the bottom. And if I'm being honest,

I think I loved all the action set pieces. I thought all the humor worked. But the farther and farther away we get from like the central like Dom and Brian dynamic, the more and more I'm like, damn, we are running out of ideas. Like we are coming up with new ways to reintroduce characters that died.

And the more they become like Bond, like the more they become like James Bond, like doing spy shit, them where I'm like, we might need to wrap this up with the next film. We got to wrap this shit up. So here's the, this is me being honest. This is just my honest thing. Was the movie a waste of time?

No. It wasn't a waste of time in the theater. Not by any stretch of the imagination. I had a big popcorn. I had some nachos. I drank water. Okay. So was the movie a waste of time in the theater where you leave kicking yourself?

No, it wasn't at all. That being said, the movie was incredibly stupid. It was so stupid, isn't that what you go to the best of Furious for though? No, no. Spectacul and stupid are two different things. Okay, fair.

You go to a movie and you expect there's going to be a little cheesy, this is family stuff. You expect that there's going to be a little bit of that's not possible type stuff. You expect some jokes to be implanted in it and inserted in there. But this was stupid. This movie almost seemed like a parody of past, fast, and a furious movie.

like it was spoofing them. Yes. Like, so it went so deep into the family that we're having flashbacks of Dom's family from before. So it's super family. It's like legitimately family because this is Dom's brother. So it's not like family as a concept,

it's actual family family now, you know, despite the fact that Mia's been there for the whole time. It's like it's actually family family. And then the stunts in this, they get to a point to where my brain can't like my brain can't wrap itself around sitting in the theater and watching some of the stuff that they're doing

it's like it's fun to watch but nobody has any powers so I'm like yo man come on bro and my thing is a lot of times is how does Dom even know that he can do some of this stuff like he's just trying it on the fly and look in the film they actually talked about it the whole are we invincible thing

yeah that Roman does in the beginning that Roman does in the beginning, like they're talking about the fact that they're not supposed to be surviving any of this. And they're actually kind of getting the audience ready for some really, really crazy shit. And so, but look, I, several times in the movie, we were just laughing. It was laughable. Not that it wasn't fun. Oh, I laughed at almost all of this. I was just like, wait, what?

I will say this. This is going to be like a very troubled metaphor. Do you know that episode of Fresh Prince where Hillary, his boyfriend like dies because he goes bungee jumping. Yeah. I feel like every Fassafurious movie is like your suspension of disbelief, you are bungee jumping. And each time you're like, this is the greatest moment of my life.

And this was the movie when like the bungee cord like ripped. And you were just like, oh, like the suspension of disbelief like I can't even anymore. Some of the stunts in this, I'm just like, God, wait, what are we doing here? I will say the magnets. We can get into this later. I literally left it theater. I'm like, I know magnets don't work that way. Like even the way that they're driving with the magnets

What are we talking about? The magnets only attract certain metal things. We could go to the stunts later, but there was definitely a point in the movie where I'm just like, oh, they just don't give a fuck anymore. They really just don't care. Yeah, yeah. So we're going to do our top five Fast and the Furious movies later.

But who are your favorite characters of the Fast and the Furious franchise? All right, can we, is it fair if we leave Dom and Brian off this? I think that they would easily be like one and two. So Don, why will we leave Dom and Brian off, though? Because I think they're automatic one and twos. You know what I'm saying? Okay. All right.

So outside of Dom and Brian, who are your favorite characters? Ooh, I think number one is Roman. Number two is Han. Okay. Three? I don't know. I can put Tej. Maybe Tesh.

Roman. Roman, Han, Tej, Letty. And then you could put anybody. in that this spot. What about you? It's Natalie Emmanuel five times. Natalie Emmanuel is the most beautiful woman in the world. Besides, obviously, my fiance. You like to put that disclaimer.

You know, like, you know, Natalie Emmanuel is cold. Bro, cold, bro. Like, we don't talk enough about her. Like, why? Like, what does she do to where she doesn't get put in these different conversations to where she is just fucking bananas? It's insane. It's dumb.

She's hanging around. with ludicrous and Tyrese all the time. So Natalie Emmanuel is your is your queen. Just in the Fast Universe or all actresses right now? All actresses, number one. Number one. Nice.

This is insane. She's insane. She's insane. She's very nice. Like, Boris, it's very nice. You know, like, amazing. Amazing. Wait, I got to ask you this.

Is it, do you believe that she would settle for TES? Because I don't believe that. Is it, isn't it unclear whether or not her and Tess are in a relationship? I feel like it's very, very clear they're in a relationship. Really? Yes. Joby, come in here. You might be our timekeeper, but come in here really quick.

I feel like it's unclear. I don't think so. I think she's definitely leaning towards Tedge, right, between him and Roman. But I don't think, like, anything's confirmed yet. You know, we haven't seen anything on screen to confirm it. But I'm with you, Charles, and the fact that, like, and she had to pick, she's definitely going with Tedge. It's Roman's out of the...

No, Roman... Roman has talked himself out of the ass long ago. Yeah. Roman, like, Roman talked himself out of the ass long ago. But I feel like it's ever actually confirmed that she's... That she's with Tess. Yeah, exactly, yeah, but she's definitely... It might not be official, but I was like,

they're giving each other the eyes. Any single time, Tej is, like, dunking on Roman. She's laughing a little bit too hard for my liking. You know what I'm saying? She's always riding with him. She's always riding with Ted. She's always riding with Ted. But that's also they're both because they're both like tech people.

They have something similar. Nah, but she is seven. You know, she had to, she did the tech with Brian in his car. She did the tech with Letty and her car. She just want to ride with Ted. You feel me? So I get it.

I'm with it. So here's the deal. I'm going to get my real ranking right now. Are we allowed to include Hobbs and Shaw in this? Yes, of course. Okay. So my number one would then be Hobbs. This is insanity.

This is fucking insane. Hobbs, to me, held it down for a couple of different movies. You liked Hobbs and Shaw the movie. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I did not say that. I did not say that. I said I liked Hobbs as a character

in the Fast and Furies. I thought he was funny. I thought he was just big as hell. To me, the Rock's character, Hobbs in the movie, is emblematic of the franchise, sort of jumping the shark a little bit. But becoming what it's become now.

He's so big. He's like superhuman. He's always sort of a disin roaming. I like that. I like Hobbs. Hobbs, Roman, Tegh. Then it would be actually Natalie, if I'm being honest, like besides looks. Then Han and then that other spot, like I said, it could really be anybody.

Han that low? Han that low. Look, really, really Han that low because Han came back in this movie and added absolutely zero to the movie. Han added nothing to the movie. They gave Han absolutely zero to do in this movie. Nothing. The whole Han thing really, it really didn't have to happen. He's so fucking magnetic.

He's so cool. All he needs to do is eat chips to the side and give you one bar. And he's already better than everybody else in the movie. What the fuck are you talking about? Han that low. Han below Hobbs. Han below Hobbs. Yeah, for sure.

Now, Han, but Hobbs is fun to watch. Hahn is just kind of a guy. I like Han. Hobbs had a whole movie and royally screwed it up. You're trying to tell me that you would love to see like the Han movie. I guess he kind of had a movie. 100 times yes. So you feel like Tokyo Drift was better than Hobbs and Shaw.

Tokyo Drift was way better than Hobbs and Shaw. It was way better. Hobbs and Shaw is the worst Fast and Furious movie. Let's make that clear. Hobbs and Shaw, I put Tokyo drift on that same level. But I denied I like Holy to Tokyo Drift. I put Tokyo Drift on a too fast,

too furious. Like I think there are three movies. Two Fast 2 Fury's, Tokyo Drift, and then Hobbs and Shaw, which are just like... Too Fast and Too Fast 2 Furies is an incredible movie. No.

It's not. The light skin has jumped out at you. I don't know why the light skin would be jumping up. This is not... That's one of the greatest movies. Oh my gosh. We will do our rankings. Two Fast, Two Furious.

being that low? No. There wouldn't be, we wouldn't have anything right now if it wasn't for too fast, too furious. Well, I mean, that doesn't mean anything. Like, you know what I mean? It built so much. The movies, the movies didn't really come back

to they reunite the original cast. Nobody really cared until they reunite the original cast. That's just a fact. Anyway, so we are known for 40-second recaps here. But let's try something. Let's try a two-sentence recap. Charles, do you want to try it? This has been sprung on me.

You do the recaps. I don't do the recaps. This is being spru. No, I'm going to do the two-minute. I'm going to do the two-sentence recap. I'll do it right now. I'll do it right now. But you go ahead.

Like, to me, two-sentence recap is easy. Dominic Torretto, it is revealed that he has a brother that he had a falling out with, who was now a secret agent and they need to stop him from destroying the world. Basically, that's it. That's basically the two-sentence recap. He has a piece of technology that him and this big time company have, this big time, excuse me, underground criminal organization have. This situation has the capability,

control all the weapon systems in the world. They want to keep it out of these guys' hands because they don't want them selling it to the highest bidder or using it to become their own rogue nation. Jacob is Dom's brother. Jacob wants this thing because, you know, he wants this ultimate power. he wants to be super rich, but more than a point, he's doing all of this because he feels like

he grew up in Dom's shadow. Also, there are continuous flashbacks back in the day to his and Dom's relationship when they were kids. And apparently, uh, there was a schism then, you know, they don't really show too much of it. It's, but it's flat out said what the guy that actually was racing with against Dom's dad says, hey, you're the fuck up kid. Dom is the golden boy, so we get the sense that that is the entire deal. Dom's father dies at the beginning of the movie in one of these flashbacks, and then it becomes unclear whose fault that actually was.

Dom blames his brother. It turns out that the brother was actually doing something for the father. So all of these family things come full circle as Dom and his brother are up against each other to try to secure this technology. Mr. Nobody wants Dom and them to keep the technology out of the hands of Jacob's faction. And also, during this entire time, you got Charlize Theron's character

who we've seen from previous movies as a big bad in the Fast universe, basically just sitting back there kind of like being a puppeteer, a puppet master. Yeah, she's like Hannibal Lecter and kind of like this glass thing. It was weird. Can I tell you what I feel like the ultimate sin

of this movie was that I think they never should have actually done? What is it? The biggest part about Dom's character that we learn in that first movie is his propensity for violence, especially when it comes to his family. And that story of his father dying and him almost beating this other guy after death. Showing it, us seeing it for the first time with like young Dominic, young Jacob, the dad and everything, I think was just such a sin. Interesting. Why?

because it's such a dramatic thing. The way you think about it in your mind for years and years and years, they always bring it up. What they show you on screen can never live up to that, in my opinion. It almost devalues it because you don't have Vin Diesel

acting this part out. It's this other character who doesn't really look like Vin Diesel and now you taint it because we know this, we know all about this from the first movie and then like actually we never told you that he had a brother

who was also part of this. So now you make something that's so core to Dom's character tied to a brother that we have not heard of for eight movies. And I think that's a level of retconning. I love the retconning that they do in the Fast Universe. But I think to retcon such a part that's pivotal to Dom's character, this late into the franchise is a big, it's just a really, really big mistake.

Well, it's not that I disagree with that, take is that there's almost absolutely no way to introduce Jacob without doing that. For Dom to have had a brother, remember we're talking about Dominic Torretto, family, family, family, family, family, family, family, family.

He's sort of with family or not with family. He's been anchored to this notion of family almost is detriment at times. He lets people back in that he shouldn't trust. He trusts people that don't have their best interests at heart sometimes. their family, if they're part of the family, then Dominic is always there for him. You have to get some sense of why he'd have an actual brother that has been gone for 30 years

or whatever it is, and we haven't seen this guy. You'd have to get, they'd have to show something because to have a brother just pop up, a brother that, you know, of course, Lady knows about a brother that, because it's not just that Dominic has never mentioned his brother. Letty has never mentioned his brother. Mia has never mentioned this brother and it's her brother But that's my other

That's the other sin Is that everybody's like We make fun La Familia Everything like that The theme of these movies I love the theme Whatever I think actually the theme

Is there's a second word It's found family What makes Brian and Dom Such like one of the best relationships In all of movie history Is because it's a found family It's Dom because he lost his father

very, very early on. In that original movie, we forget, like, because all of those actors are no longer in it, but it's a ragtag group of a bunch of fuck-ups that Dom cares for.

He's almost like his own foster family. And I think by giving him a biological brother, in a lot of ways, it undercuts the Brian relationship because Brian was his found brother. That was somebody who had that,

like, we might as well be blood bond. And now to introduce actually he had a real biological brother all the time. It didn't work. I honestly thought that Jacob, like, why don't you at that point just make him like an uncle or something? Like, why does he need to be his biological brother? Because it really did not add anything to the movie.

To me, to me, my thing is that's in it of itself, the foundational problem with the film is you reach a level in these movies where you up the ante to the point to where all the chips spill off the table, right? It's like your chips are stacked so high that they're no longer able to form. You just get what you get, you up the ante so much

that what you get is like a big mess. Now, don't get me wrong, this was a glorious mess. It was a fun mess, but this was a mess, right? So when you go to the fact that Dom's brother is now in it, the ultimate schism, the ultimate rivalry now. It's Dom against his brother who has spent years developing all of these skills and he's big and he's bad. In a way, he's bigger. In a way, he's badder. He's better funded. He's actually physically bigger than Dom now. Like,

the little brother is trying to become the man. Then you end up sort of making all of these problems from back in the day, right? And that's kind of what this movie really did a couple of times, Even with some of the stunts, it's like, okay, well, now we have to do super fucking crazy stunts and sitting in your chair in the movies. You know what you're in for. But at the same time, you're losing something. It's taking away from the fabric of something. You're losing something. Something in your brain is going, aye, now.

Come on, man. Do you think that Jacob was there, was there like gambit of like, all right, Vin Diesel and the Rock hate each other? The Rock can't be in this movie. but Hobbs, like the Rock himself, a wrestler, was such a popular character. He had this built-in fan base from the WWE. Why don't we just go back to the well again and try to create another Hobbs?

And she just did not work. Like they tried to do the same trick and we already knew like the sleight of hand. We knew where it was coming. And we're no longer like boys to be like, oh my gosh, we're just kind of like, we just saw this like three or four movies ago, guys. Yeah.

Well, let's talk about John. Sena a little bit right now. So John Cena is the main new character in this movie. He plays Jacob Dorado, Torreto, shall I say, Jacob Torreto. I didn't like the character at all. The character to me wasn't sinister enough to be scary, and he wasn't cool enough to be, like, he wasn't, it was a mixed bag. So I never got the feeling that his heart was.

was completely in being a bad guy. And then when he turned, I never got the feeling that he really learned anything. He was just kind of there. Almost to me like Hahn was. He was, it wasn't, I never felt. You need to stop disrespecting Han. You can talk about John Sina without disrespecting Han. I never really felt it.

I never, it didn't work. And part of it is because John Sina just doesn't have any on-screen charisma to me. All right, let's not go that far. Let's not go that far. I think that John Sina, I didn't mind him for this role. I just felt like he was trying to play the villain too much. I would have actually like if he was just a dickhead. What we've seen in like the Suicide Squad, I feel like he should have been playing more to

that being like, oh, I'm just like the bigger little brother dickhead who's trying to show up dumb. Like that to me would have been way funnier than him just kind of like trying to grimace his way through a bunch of shit. And the other thing for his character, can you explain? to me what what Jacob Torito's motivation was like what he wanted in the film?

Well, I think what he wanted in the film was to, I think they kind of, it was a classic little brother complex

is what they brought it back to. What he wanted to the film and the first thing he tells him is hey, the spy world,

this is my world. You're the little man in this. I'm the big guy in this. So I think what he wanted in the film

was to achieve all of this stuff to erase some of the way he felt growing up and it took him this long

to kind of do it. What I find very funny about that I'm like, the crew has been like spies for what, like three or four movies now. This is time you're like, enough. I'm the spy now.

Right. Well, I mean, he's been doing it for a longer time. And remember, you know, Mr. Nobody had had him before he had Dom. You learn in the movie that he was running operations out of that abandoned sort of base with Mr. Nobody for a very long time. So he was doing all of that way before Dom was even involved in it. So in a way, Dom came after him in this particular world. than he wanted to show that.

My thing about what I'm talking about with John Cena, and I'm going to make a distinction between him playing Jacob Torretto in this movie right here and him playing Peacemaker in the Suicide Squad is that the peacemaker role to me is actually easier to play because if you know anything about Peacemaker in the comic books, Peacemaker is like a buffoon. Yeah. He's like he's a buffoon, very one note.

He thinks that he's on the right side of things. He's actually a villain, anti-hero at best. And so when you look at the line in the trailer, like Starfish is the name for Butthole, all that. That's Peacemaker's deal. That's what Peacemaker is going to be. I'm not sure how they're going to get them done in the HBO Mac series, but that's who Peacemaker is.

This role didn't require like a Lawrence Olivier type of performance, but it did. It did require just a little bit more charm or a little bit more charisma than I think John's seen. that has to pull off. You would have had to been like a cool,

likable, I want to be Jacob type badass. That's what you would have wanted out of this. You wanted people at a certain point to be Jacob and not to be Dom. You wanted him to be Dom 2.0. And it never came off like that. Can I also ask you, I'm very confused what race is like Dominic

and the Torrethos in this movie? Because Vin Diesel is like a black man. He's like light skin. but he's black. And like, between Mia and John Cena, I'm just like, what are we supposed to think

Dominic Torretto is in this movie? Well, they talked about it, remember? So it's like, it's funny. So Vin Diesel's early career, he played,

we didn't know Vin Diesel was black. This is one of the funniest movie Little Nuggets. Vin Diesel came out, explored onto the scene. It was pitch black. It was Savant Private Ryan. It was Boiling Point. It was Fast and Furious is the one

where he went over the moon, Fast and Furious. And then Triple X, I think, is right after Fast and Furious. But we didn't know that Vin Diesel was biracial at that point. Like, we didn't have the internet. But his first movie that he produced

dealt with him being biracial. It was a small, small film that nobody saw. That is true. Yeah. So it was, I didn't even know about that movie until after the Fast Interferious. It was a small, small film that nobody really saw. Because, like, he has a brother.

It was like a twin brother. And they were dancers. All of these, all of these things came. came out and came out. Like you, Vin Diesel had to come out as black. That's so funny. Vin Diesel goes on the internet, and he's like, I want to have a very, very deep secret that I want you guys to know something that's

been getting at me. I just want to be able to do this. There should be a whole month, like a pride month, where anybody who's biracial and nobody knows comes out as black. Honestly, Vin Diesel and Pete Wentz would be the top two people. Vin Diesel, wait, Pete Wentz? Yeah, Pete Wentz is black. My man has to straighten his hair.

Like, you type in like he has like an afro. Yeah, Pete wants from Fall Out Boy. Oh, get the fuck out of here. That's not true. What? Yeah, he is. What? Hold on for a second.

Steve, come in here. You're white. You should know about Fall Out Boy. Wait, is Pete Wince black? Yeah, he actually is. What the fuck? Look at his hair. You, like, oh my God.

I have never knew this. Like, you see his mom? Like, he's black. He's hair. Like, yeah. Pete Wins is all the way black. Oh shit. Pete.

Pete Lewis Kingston Wince. Dog, you have it. It's crazy. The crazy thing is now, like, when I, when, like, I look at him now, as soon as you, it's like, it's like, it's like, blackness can be like a, where's Waldo? Because as soon as you see Waldo, you can't see nothing but Waldo. Right? You're looking for Waldo, right? You never see Waldo.

But then as soon as you see Waldo, you'd be like, God damn, how the fuck did I miss Waldo? Have you listened to a Fall Out Boy song? There's too much soul in that shit. I love Falawboy. Dance. We're falling apart. Like, I didn't, I did, I never knew this. And these are the lives we love to lead.

Come on, there's too much soul in that shit, bro. Yeah. Like, Van is looking at his phone just like, damn, I never realized. I did not. I did not know this. But the point is, you know, Ben Diesel comes out and all of this stuff is happening around him. But I was going to say earlier in his career, he will play Italian a lot. Savor Private Ryan, I think his name was Caparcio.

I'm pretty sure he was Italian. And now when in Boiling Point, he was definitely playing Italian. And so I thought that. I thought that he was an Italian guy. You know, I thought that he, I really did. I thought he was an Italian guy. You know what I mean? We know our brothers and Sicily.

They won't stop away from us. So I thought he was an Italian guy So I never really thought about what the Torreto's work Because when you look at him and me I thought okay this is probably an Italian family Just like what Vin Diesel's been playing before But now with John Cena They said

She says that she goes The Torreto bloodline is mixed But now there must be some Nordic in there Or something like that Because here's the other thing that I'm thinking Because in the universe They make it almost seem like he's Latin American a little bit Like he's always going to like

South America like it's another homes I'm just like is he Italian is you like next like what the is he a little black like what see I want to see I honestly think that probably what they're going to do in like fast Fast 10 and 11 is like the mom is going to pop out and the mom got

a little bit of everything and that's how they explained it all the way and she's like the final big bad that they have to take down like their what their mom yeah you think their mom is coming into fast five either that or they're resurrecting the dad Like the dad is just going to be like

that Darth Vader and the two brothers got to take him down. This episode is brought to you by WeatherTech. Everyone knows winter is the MVP and make it a mess. You don't need weather tech floor liners in the summer unless you hit the beach or go camping. Then you'd want a cargo liner

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Carvana. Pick up fees may apply. All right. We have to talk about Han. All right. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's, you usually you lead the segments, but I'm not letting you lead this segment because you're a hater.

Okay. Hawn is so important to me. Han is so foundational to the success of Fast and Furious. And the minute that he died, the minute they got rid of him was the minute, like, you know, they really, Fast and Furious. it took something from my heart. And the fact that you hate Han so much speaks a lot to your character.

Interesting. All right. Tokyo Drift, what he does in that is exceptional. He's bringing a level of acting to that movie that honestly doesn't deserve it. Like he single-handedly saves that movie. Okay? Yeah.

And since he died, the crew hasn't been the same. And what I mean by that is at this point, the roles, like everybody's just like, to me, Roman and Tate, a lot of times, I love those two. Too comedic.

You need a balance. You need somebody like a Han, who's the cool guy, who's getting Giselle, who's like eating chips, who's just like, I'm effortless cool. I don't need to work out like Vin. I don't need to work out like Hobbs. I could steal your girl just eating chips. My jaw line is that, is that amazing. And when you get rid of that, that coolness, you lose something.

So the fact that he's just here right now, to me, set the movie over the top. I just love seeing him on screen. He's, I would argue, is probably the most magnetic person on that screen in this movie. Not the MVP, but magnetic. So to me, Han is everything that's wrong with the franchise now. Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, how they brought him back or the character? To me, they're intertwined. So, so I'll tell you why.

So there are no stakes in the Fast and a Furious movies anymore, right? There's no stakes. There's no actual stakes, right? There are no actual villains. I guess Seifers, Charlize Theron's characters. the only actual villain that you would have, but there are no stakes, not really, because most of the people that we thought have died,

you know, in a real way, besides Giselle's character, which if she weren't Wonder Woman right now, she would fully come back. She would have been living with Han somewhere, okay? I think she might come back. Right. Well, she probably won't come back now

because Gal Godot has her whole other deal that she's probably not going to want to do fast movies and be like fourth or five. fifth, six, seventh down the call sheet when she's Wonder Woman. Would she even be top ten at this point? Probably not. So I don't think you'd see her come back just from a business specific. So she'll probably stay dead.

But the fact that Han comes back, Han was actually a loss that the crew had taken, which gave the movie actually some real stakes that they can't go out on these missions and somebody can die. Now, the minute that Shaw turned good, I knew that they would find some way to switch the story about whatever had happened with him and Han, and they actually already done it, because you're redeeming characters at such a rate, characters that people like, you know, Jason Statham and The Rock. The whole Shaw family at this point is just basically a part of the crew?

Yeah, the whole Shaw family basically is a part of the crew. So you're redeeming characters at such a rate now that you have to undo some things that you did. And it makes it seem like the movies aren't really about anything. Jacob's bad, but we know that Jacob won't stay bad by the end of this movie. That was the most predictable thing about the film. The most predictable thing about the film was that he would find his way back to his family. We knew that that would happen. The Han thing, it would almost be awesome if they'd have made Han the actual villain.

Because I'm telling you, I'm telling you, because the Han thing just doesn't, it doesn't mean anything. It undermines the fact that there are actually any stakes in these missions. Like, when people talk about comparisons between the Fast and the Furious franchise and the MCU, well, the one big knock on the MCU is we know that these characters are going to be around for time and time and time again because they got

big eight, nine picture deals. And so, you know, we know that they basically are not going to die. And if you read comic books, you know that these guys normally find their way out of it. This is supposed to be a world where people are risking their lives to go do stuff like people who are human beings and the stakes are supposed to be so high. And the whole thing just completely undercuts that.

And then to bring him back in. and then not really give him very much to do, it just seemed like a waste of everything. I'm going to say a take that makes me love Fast and Furious More. We are at the point in the Fast franchise where I don't think we should be reviewing it like a movie. We should almost be reviewing it like a soap opera. Like we already know like the top five best Fast and Furious movies

I don't think are going to change. Right now we're just in a place where like we want to hang out with these characters. we want it's like your grandma's soap she's just like it's not really about like the quality from episode to episode it's what the what unexpected things they are going to do with the characters and at this point i don't mind i do agree with you from a story perspective like there's no more stakes it's almost like dragon balls he at this point everybody's going you wish on the dragon balls everybody's going to get resurrected by the end death doesn't mean anything like comic books whatever but here's the thing is death actually the most interesting thing in these movies anymore i would argue No, same thing with the villains. I just want to see Han making jokes next to Tej and Roman and like everybody being like familiar and grabbing a bunch of coronas at the end. As long as I have that in the movie, I don't care. It's not about like movie to movie whether this is good or not.

It's like, did they give me the family that I've known for like two decades now? And they did. So like at that point, that's why I love it. It's the same reason that you check into a sitcom. Their family is too fucking big. Everybody in the family. They family, like, they, they're going through all the movies. It's about found family.

The family is too. Everybody is the family. They got, like, family, family. It used to be, man, that started off with like six people sitting around a table or something like that. Now, it's like 25 motherfuckers drinking coronas and grilling out. You know, Brian coming at the end. Like, the family is just too big. All right.

So what some people would say, some of the haters, some of the haters, some of the haters in the, in the social medias. They'd be like the ringers family is getting too big. You know, they might say, Van and Charles, what are you doing? Maybe we're like Fast Five.

Maybe we're Han. Who would you be? I don't know. Maybe you're Hobbs. Okay? Sometimes you don't know. Sometimes you need to let the family get big to really show a different side of it.

Okay? They're probably right about the ringer family, number one. But here's the thing now. It don't matter. It's just like after this movie, we're going to get these checks. You said the checks, Daniel X's signature clears, man.

I don't go fuck. Yeah, it was like, we'll get these checks, you know what I mean? But look, the only thing I'd say about that is I watch the movie and I go to the film for the spectacle. To your point, Charles, I understand what you're saying. But I do want to feel. George Clooney said something awesome about filmmaking one time. He goes, film, like when you sit down in the movie, it's actually a deal that's being made between the audience in the film, right? And the only thing that the filmmakers can do to really ruin that deal is put things on the screen that the audience can relate to, right?

So when you sit down, you watch a movie, something doesn't make sense. You go, ah, a performance is off. You go, ah, and it breaks the deal. When you sit in your seat, you're signing up for the deal. I'm not saying that the deal with me in Fast 9 is being broken. I'm not saying that at all. Of the Fast and Feast and Fiddley franchise, yes, it's being broken. What I'm saying is they are stretching the terms, man.

they're like they are stretching the terms. They are pulling at me to be like, this shit is too stupid or too crazy for me to watch. But look, did we go and have fun at the movies? We did. So let's talk about Charlize Theron's character. I want to ask you a question.

How many total days do you think Charlize Theron was on set for this movie? If Charlize did more than two days, I would be surprised. I guarantee you it was like, total acting probably was like, it was probably like an hour, maybe some pickups and shit.

She had nothing to do. And we could talk about this later. I don't care about Mr. Nobody. I don't care about Cipher. I don't care about any of this shit. Like, I will be honest, if somebody asked me to name the last three devices,

like the last three world ending devices in these movies, I couldn't do it. Like, if you had a gun to my head, I'd be like, shoot me. Dog, that's a problem, dog. Like, I'm saying, I'm telling you, like, that's a problem, bro. That's the one problem where I'm like,

there, and off the top of your head, can you name any of the programs or like world ending tech from these movies? No. No, I can't. That's an issue though. Like that's an issue. That is an issue. They're building up her to be sort of like Fast 9s, Thanos.

Thanos. Thanos. Thanos. Thanos. Thanos. They're building her up as that. And that's cool. because there's a running through line of villains that they have

or of a villain that they have. I thought that they had killed her when her drone blew up, but I think it was a very smart decision to leave her alive because... I don't like her as the villain. I'll be honest. Be real. Tell me about it. Why not?

It's just... What does she even want at this point? It's just like it's a villain for villains's sake. And I do think that like I don't come to Fast and Furious for the villains actually. I think the best movies, shout out I was listening to The Big Picture, they did a very good, very good job of brain. breaking this down. But I agree with their assessment that, like, the best, fast and furious movies are about, like, anti-heroes. It's about relationships. It's about Brian and Dom and what does the law mean? And how far, like, how far you will go to break man's law for your family.

And that's why I think everybody loves Dom. Because he's like, fuck your international laws. Fuck your city. The only thing that matters to me is my family. And I think when it's like, when it's like Brian trying to catch Dom or like Dom running away from Brian or like in Fast 5 when it's just like them really trying to like go off into the sunset and have lives and become millionaires and everything. Like the villains don't matter. It doesn't matter. And now every single time they bring back Cypher, I'm just like, who cares? Well, they have to bring back Cypher now because it's obvious.

Dom is off. Dom is good with the government. These, all these people don't. They have to bring in Cypher now because everyone should be just retired at the this point. When you see Dom and the lady on the farm at the beginning of the movie, that's probably where they should stay, right? But you have to keep coaxing Dom out of this. And so bringing in people who he's tethered to like his brother and all of that stuff, that's going to give him the motivation to keep doing this and to keep going out there and to keep putting his life on the line. And to keep

risking being, I mean, we talk about family. Every time Dom goes out for a mission, he's risking his son missing a huge part of family, which would be Dom. He's putting his life on the line. We think, you know what I mean? So there have to be some reason for him to do it. And Cipher is probably going to be that thing that keeps tugging at Dom,

that keeps his foot in the one world that makes it all makes sense for him to be back into these things. It's probably the only sort of function she's going to serve here. She's going to be the thing that keeps pulling him back into that world. For whatever reason, she has it out for the Touretto's.

She has it out for Dom. So, by the way, I don't abide any Yoda slander. I don't abide any slander against Yoda. I don't, like, like, Jomi was in the movie with me. Jomi, what happened when she diss Yoda in the movie? What did I say? Well, you were sick. I said, fuck you.

You were sick. I was like, like, I embarrassed my girl. Paint the picture. What was the seating order? Who was sitting next to who in this? So Jomey didn't want to, at first, Jomey. So it was me, Kalika, Dan, Dan sat together. And then me and Jomey sat together.

Jomey was like, hey, like, you know, why don't you sit next to your girl? And I was like, no, bro, we're, actually, Jomey, we're on the date. This is, that was me and Jomey's first date. So I made sure that Jomey's-Quest question. Jomey, you got your mic on? I'm here, I'm here. Did you hate Lowe-Naz-X's performance at the BETT Awards? What do you have against blackmail?

friendship and love. No, no, no. What's wrong with you? Look, look, so we getting too deep into my personal life right now. But let's just say I've got third wheel experience.

So it was just, it was just muscle memory. It was four people though. It was muscle memory. It was four people. So technically that's a car. Shout out to Fast and Furious. Second of all, your boy invited

you. You can't be a third wheel if he's like, yo, you want to come to Fast and Furious with me and my girl. I was just trying to be respectful. I figured the order would be me Van Kalika Dan. You overthinking it, man. I think you just are,

you're a little bit afraid of emasculation. You know what I'm saying? Go listen to that time. It's a great album. It's really sad. Go listen to that little Nazatown. It's really sad, Jumme. Get comfortable with yourself.

It's sad. I like to stay for the record because that's not true. But I want to say something. Before we get off this, before we get off this, I do want to say something real quick. Jomey helped me because I was confused as fuck. They did a five-minute Jurassic Park trailer at the beginning of the movie. Charles, does your theater have that?

I went to a screening, so there was no trailers. Oh, okay. So there was a five-minute Jurassic World trailer or a snippet before the movie. And this happened after all the regular trailers ran. So all the regular trailers ran, right? And then it goes, okay, we're getting into the movie. This is even after the IMAX thing ran. So when the screen comes up,

I'm thinking to myself, the movie is starting, right? So I didn't know. And it's like a fucking bronosaurus stomping around 65 million years ago. And then it goes to a fucking, it goes to a triceratops and then to all of these other things.

And like, it's about 30 seconds into this. I'm like, yo, what the fuck is this? Kalika is tripping because she thinks we're in the wrong movie. She's like, she goes, they did say theater. too, didn't they? Like, she thinks we're in the wrong movie. And I'm like, I'm looking, I'm like, yo, what is this?

And then Jomey goes, five-minute Jurassic World trailer. I'm like, oh, shit, okay. I thought any minute now, I thought they were starting a movie in Dinosaur times. And this was going to be the tie-in later for the Fast and the Furious dinosaur Jurassic Park World crossover. I didn't know what was happening. Show me, how did you know something that Van did not? Because I'm outside. you know, I'd be on the Twitter

you know what I'm saying? So I knew this was coming. It took me a second though. It really did. I had to forgot. And so when, you know, the dinosaurs first, I was like, what is going on? Oh, this is where they get the oil for the cars.

Something. Something. I thought it was something like that. All right. Check in one more thing with the movie before we get to the fasties, which are fast in the furious, fast nine movie categories

and awards. We're going to have the fasties for this movie. Oh, yeah, Daddy, the fasties. Okay, we're going to get to the fasties real quick. But you love Tokyo Drift. What did you think about Sean and Twinkie popping back up in this movie? Once again, I thought

they added nothing. I thought they should have been there in movies past. I was just like they're part of the family. They are part of the family. I loved it. The only thing that made me a little sad is that it felt like they called bow wow at the last minute it was like yo man uh we need you on set because he looked like he had just rolled out of bed

like he didn't have his like movie star swag I felt a little bit bad that's who bow wow is now that's who bow wow is shout out to bow wow shout to bow wow we had him a higher learning bow wow wow's living his best life but I just thought I just thought he would like he would do a little bit of more movie stars like it just seemed like you're just like there to collect

I mean, look, that's what, look, the thing that I would like about being in Fast and Furious is that that is a never ending check. You never know when they're going to call you up. For all we know, ByWile could be the main villain in the next movie. Oh, I mean, probably one of the funniest, like, week, the funniest week in, like, social media history is, like, what Tyrese thought his Fast and Furious check was about to get fucked up.

And he was just, like, went nuts. Because you know, like, you know, like, that's, like, that's his bread and butter. Shout out to Tyrese. Shout out to Tyrese. That's what he's on now. And Luke is blind back. Before we get to the fasties, you add an idea. Oh, Daddy, the fasties. Oh, my gosh.

I'm going to do a little short segment called pitch please, all right, where I want to pitch you on where I think the fast and furious franchise should go. Are you ready? I am ready for this. Let's go. All right. I have three movies. You tell me honestly what you think. Okay.

My number one is the fast in the future. All right. We go into the future. and we have Dom's son, we have Brian's son, and then we have Roman son, reunited to be the new crew. That's actually what, that's probably what they're going to have to do, but yeah, that works.

That's how I think you keep it going, where you get some really, really good actors, and it's just like, oh, man, buddy, we're all in it. Our parents all know each other. But you're thinking, I still think that you're thinking too small. The fast in the future is actually, dominant

traveling to the future using cards you're spoiling where I'm about to go you're spoiling where I'm about to go sorry go for it so we have the fast in the future my second is called Romans revenge I believe that Tyrese and Tej deserve their own spin-off

okay really Tyler Perry might be able to direct this just really give us like an A1 black comedy film with Carl Tirese deserves it. I'm with that. Smaller budget.

Smaller budget. I don't know where it would be set. You only get 40 million. You only get 40 million for that. I'm not giving you 100 million for that. You're not giving you 100 million? I'll give you 40 million. Go make it hot.

I can make it happen. I can make it happen. Go make it hot. I give you 40 million. You got 40 million bucks. Go make it hot. My last, my last one, this is like the crem de la creme.

This is where I really think they need to go, but you would have to wait about a decade, 15 years to make this. I call it old man Dom. the most important thing in the world for Dominic is his family. So what happens when he's an old man? We're talking like a Clint Eastwood Western film, and his family is gone.

And the only thing he has left is one last ride, one last car ride to set everything right to avenge his family that was killed. Okay, of the three movies that you just pitched, that's the one that's for sure getting made. But for sure, you're going to see a Dominic, you're going to see a Dominic. You're going to see a Dominic Torreto slash Grand Torino type movie,

except he's not going to be fighting for his car. He's going to be fighting with his car. Hmm. You know what I mean? Like he's going to be fighting with his car. That's what he's going to be, a Dominic Torado type. That's definitely going to happen.

And see, so my whole thing with old man Dom, you think you're watching this, and you're just like he's dying at the end of this movie. You know, he's old. He has to avenge all of his family members who are no longer here. and then at the end credit scene, you see everybody from the fast in the future

come back and save him. And you launch Old Man Dom into the fast and the future franchise. Right. Okay. So time travel. I mean, this is where the movies actually have to go.

Look, I'm giving you big budgets on two of those. And I'm giving you- Break down the budget. For Rumors' Revenge, you're getting $40 million. Okay, because you're like, you're going to get $40 million.

You don't even need more money because I want that to be a slick. cooler, pare down version. You don't need huge big stunts. You don't even need a Hobbs and Shaw.

You want that to be about those guys more than about even that stuff. So you can get that done with, you know, traditional effects

and all of that stuff for $40 million. $40 million. $50 million, $50 million. $50 at the most. You can get that done. Give the guys some back in they'll be good

because it's going to make $100 million. For Fast in the future, I'm going to give you $100, $120. All right? The audience doesn't know the kids yet.

So just to start off, I'm going to give you a nice, fat, $100 million budget because of the IP, and because it's going to have to be in the future, you know, the cars might fly, you're going to have all this new technology, so you might need to do all of that stuff. So fast and future, I'm going to give you a little bit more money. For the Dom movie, I'm going to let Vince Diesel set the budget. Because he's like, I'm going to look, because I want to know what story he, not set the budget, but give strong considerations because he's going to produce that one probably very heavily. So I want to know what kind of movie he wants to do.

If Vin Diesel is, it depends on what point of his career he's at. If he's going for his Academy Award. I want this to be like the Logan. Right. That's what I'm saying. That's a fear. It's like, we like, he's like, oh, I'm acting. Right.

So if he's going for his Academy Award, if he's going for his Academy Award, then we might make a smaller, almost art house version of Fast and the Furious with Dominic Torretto, right? Because remember, Ben Diesel has, Ben Diesel takes acting very seriously. I know people don't think this is true. But he doesn't. He's had several movies where he's attempted, not several. Well, he has movies where he's attempted to go and prove like that he's a badass actor.

And remember, like in boiler room and Save a Private Ryan and all those, those are a real role. So he fancies himself an actual serious actor. So at some point, he might get the award season, Itch, and that movie might be able to scratch it. So I'm going to let him. Ooh, maybe your company should produce this. Call up, call him in right now. Just be like, we need old man down. Come on.

yeah well my company has something that van doesn't have and Oscar Oh Tokyo shit Well Vin is Vin is Van way more sense for us

We're babies We're babies in this We're babies about to have beef with you Like he had with the rock We're babies We're babies in this But you know why he had to beef with the rock Because he didn't think the rock

Was a good enough actor It came out that he didn't think the rock To act seriously He probably was right So now it's time For ooh daddy It's the fact Fasties.

You love that voice. Okay. This is an award, our first category of the Fasties. The awards for this particular movie is going to be

the toughest one to me. What is the biggest WTF what the fuck moment of this movie? I already have it. What is it? It has to be

the bag that's for me. For as cool as they looked, the minute I left. I'm like, dog, do they think I'm dumb? I know Magnus don't fucking work like this, bro. Like the way they were like turning them on, turning them off, only some of the cars, only some of like the street lance and mailboxes and shit would come and then like other shit would just stay. I'm like, don't make magnets don't work like this, bro. Like, what are we do? Like, please. So that was probably my moment where I was just like, man. Like I could,

I got the space. I got why. Vin Diesel like riding and like catching the cable. Even then I was like, I call bullshit, but it was cool. The magnets really were the part where they made me bad. Okay. I know this is easy. This is an easy one. But to me, it's obviously the space stuff. I love the space stuff.

The space stuff, it was just driving me, man. The space stuff, they got the car. They've rigged the car to go in space. The Pontiac. a Pontiac. They rigged to car to go in space. They're out there.

They got homemade space suits. You know, it's just not that easy to get up into space. There are several things that are wrong with that particular picture.

They're roaming around. Bro, Charles, they took, that is so fucking stupid they should have left it out of a movie. I'm not lying, bro. Like, they took a Pontiac

rigged with a rocket on it and they went up into space and destroyed a satellite. The way they destroyed the satellite was the moment. Like everything up to that, I'm like, fine, whatever. I know you had to go to space, but they destroyed the sat. The way they destroyed the satellite, I'm like, all right, we're done. We're done. This is dumb.

Am I wrong? Were there space? Like, did they have to, like, basically hang out with a bunch of spacemen in space? They ended up drifting over outside what I think is the International Space Station. And there were astronauts inside of it. it and they got out and waved to them and in some way were brought inside of the space station. It was that moment.

I'm like, all right. And had to be up in the space station for X amount of time before they could be brought back down to Earth. And like nothing happened. Like Mr. Nobody, I guess, helped. I was just like, y'all just drinking coronas after being in space. Cool. That was the moment.

Yeah. So now a close second for this is Dom's. Whiplash off the cliff. I love that scene. That's a close second. That was so hard. That was so hard. That was so hard. Or driving up the whole fucking thing is crazy.

Driving up the Broken Bridge. What was the best action sequence of the movie? I think the whole, the beginning set piece. I think the whole beginning set piece of them having to drive, like, fast enough so the minds don't explode. And like fucking Tej being like an idiot and like almost getting killed. And then the whiplash thing, like, it was a what the fuck moment. but it was also like, oh shit, like this.

And that's actually one of the things I think, like, the space stuff, the magnet stuff. I know they have to go big, but I do just like dumb shit, like just like cars have to go fast where I was like, oh, this could happen in the real world. They would die, but this could happen. So I think that to me was my favorite. Mine was when they were in London.

And remember when it was Dom versus Jacob. And then Natalie was down there on the actual thing and the other guys were inside of the magnet deal when they were, you know, when they were jumping around. Dom fighting Jacob that entire thing. They were jumping off like buildings and

buildings. Buildings mixed with. Dom was in Tim's. Dom was in Tim's this time. Jumping off buildings, being super athletic in Tim's. That was the best action piece in the movie

because I actually felt like I was watching something that could go down like you said about the earlier stuff. I like all of the other stuff that they do and a big spectacle and a big CGI sort of stuff

but at its core I enjoy these movies when they're closer to what they were when they started out. Just really cool driving and really great drivers and great fighters fighting each other. So I kind of dug that.

Who was the best side character in this one? You know, you know, I have to go with the hottest man alive, Han. Han, it has to be Han. I don't care. The fact, when I saw him walking into the thing, like eating, I cheered. I cheered.

I was like, oh, my gosh, this is what I wanted. For so long, it has to be. I liked Hans. What was the girl's name? My favorite character was Ellie. I thought she was dope. I thought the fight scene that she had with her and Ledy and Mia, they were kicking those guys' ass in that thing.

She reminded me of like a little black widow the way she was doing her thing. She was super dope. As a side character, I liked her. Somebody outside of the crew, I really dug her. All right. Who was, in your opinion, was the big award, the big fastie?

Who in your opinion was the envisive? of this movie. To me, it has to be Roman. I think Roman had to comedically carry the film. And I think with all of the stunts going to space, the cable, all this shit, the magnets, I know you didn't like this part of the film, but I do think Roman being like, are we invincible? Like what it, like, we can't die. We keep, we've taken on submarines, we've taken on all this shit. I think that that is a very hard thing for any actor to carry and for Tyrese to be funny while doing it,

I have to give him props because he basically had to be like the audience surrogate of like, yeah, I know this is all fucked up, but like, you're here. You paid money. Like, enjoy the ride. I'm gonna zag here. I think the MVP of the movie was Young Dom. Stop. I hated Young Dom.

I liked the Young Dom. I hated everything about you. I think the only time the movie was really grounded. shout out to Michael Rooker too. He got him a bag for being in the movie playing the pit crew leader of Dom's dad's team and also the guy who raised Jacob after his. Shout to Michael Rooker.

I love Michael Rooker and anything that he's in. But I give it to Young Dom. I thought Young Dom's character was the most important character to setting up the stakes of the relationship between Dom and Jacob. And if that relationship doesn't work, then the movie doesn't work.

So I thought Young Dom did an actually good job. I like seeing Dom how he became Dom how he hated that I hate it I like the young dog this is the only time I would have rather

they just deage somebody I've never said that before but I just didn't buy young Dom I'm like who is this he don't have the gravitas he doesn't have the voice of Dominic get him off the screen

right I thought he did I thought he did I thought he nailed it and to be honest with you I thought young Jacob was a little bit worse than young Dom I didn't really dig

young Jacob that much but I did I dug young John The Young Dom. Young Dom, my job. Young Dom, hey, it's Young Dom. All right. The legacy of the Fast and the Furious franchise.

All right, we got a couple of things to do here. Jomi, our very sweet Jomey tweeted this out. And I want to know what you think about this tweet. Jomey said on the Twittersphere, in the Twittersphere, if the tweet's going to pop up. We should be comparing the Fast and the Furious franchise to the Mission Impossible series. People have been comparing it to the MCU,

but he says we should be comparing it to the Mission Impossible series. How do you think the Fast and Furious franchise compares to the Mission Impossible series? I hate this. I'm sorry, Joe. I'm sorry. Comparing it, like, comparing Fath and Furious

to fucking Mission Impossible, one of the greatest franchises of all time. So my thing is, like last week on the show, Charles, you compared it. you compare fast and first thing MCU. And I was watching the movies over the weekend, I was like, man, I don't know. Like, it's more mission impossible in the sense that you get like these same five,

six people and they come do like pretty much like the same thing, each movie with escalating stakes. You know, the stunts get crazier. You know what I mean? But at the end of the day, they all come, everybody's safe, everybody's happy. And we just do it again in the next movie, right? That's closer to Mission Impossible than the MCU. And so when talking about it. about, you know, the movie as a franchise,

instead of it could break to MCU with this 20, 23 movies and all the expanded stuff, it's way closer to Mission Impossible than the Marvel Cinematic Universe. All right, I'll fuck with that take. That makes sense. I mean, to be honest with you, on its face, I don't think the fast franchise compares to the MCU very well at all. So I think it compares much more favorable.

In quality or just in like in content? In fucking every way, bro. In every way. You are so disrespectful to the- Fast and Furious and what it's done for movie history. I hate this right now. I'm not hating on the fast. I love to watch the movies.

This is racism. The things that they've done for black culture, it's the greatest black movie franchise of all time, bro. Black culture. Shit. We can't even get, we couldn't even get Finn a fade in space. And y'all are trying to tell me all fucking with the new trilogy.

Fuck out of here. Personally, I love all of those series. Personally, I think Fast and Furious is mission. possible for beginners, but, you know, I rock with all of them. I rock all of them. I enjoy to them. All right. Crossovers. These are the crossovers that have been teased, okay, that have been pitched. Tyrese wants to cross it over with Transformers. Chris Pratt wants to cross it over with Jurassic Park. And Vin Diesel wants to do a musical. I'm going to be honest with you. The three pitches that you laid out are significantly better than

all of these except for one. The dinosaur thing. makes complete and perfect fucking sense. The dinosaur thing, I'm calling it right now. I'm doing a midnight proclamation. This is my first midnight proclamation of all time. The first time I am telling you that something is going to happen. The Fast and the Furious Jurassic Park movie will happen. It has to.

That makes too much sense. You invent a special car with special stuff and the only guys that can go out and catch these dinosaurs that are rampaging across are the best precision drivers in the world. That's easy work. You give them all, Chris Pratt has to lead them into like some kind of dinosaur.

They have to like, he has to teach them to understand the dinosaurs. They have to use all kinds of stuff. Dom ends up making friends with one of the dinosaurs that is just trying to protect its family. family. That's easy. That's going to happen.

Midnight proclamation. That was going to happen. The Transformers one doesn't make very much sense to me. And the musical is one of the worst ideas I've ever heard before in my life. The musical is a bad idea. I will say this. I totally agree with you 100%. The Jurassic Park thing has to happen.

The Transformer thing to me is just, it's laughable because if we want to be honest, the bulk of the Transformers movies are not good. So why would I take a great franchise like Fast and Furious and be like, hey, partner with this other franchise. that is lesser and not great. What's the last good, like, Transformers, Transformers? You probably can't even remember it. I do. The one of Mark Wahlberg was terrible.

Oh, you know, it was good, Bumblebee. Bumblebee, okay. Bumblebee was really good. And I think that it was only the fatigue from the franchise to, as the reason why Bumblebee was not like a much bigger hit. Bumblebee was actually really good. I enjoy Bumblebee. I've never seen it.

So maybe I will retract my Transformer statement. So let's see, until I see Bumblebee, the one where they go to England, that one soured me on Transmores for the rest of all time. Where there's like dinosaurs and shit, I just hated that movie so much. I'm like,

those are two different movies, Charles. The dinosaurs is four, right? Oh, those aren't the same movie. I've seen both of them. And like my mind has just been like, they were both bad. Both had Mark Wahlberg. Both of them were bad.

I went and paid for them to watch them in theaters. They were awful. They were awful. Okay. Bumblebee is actually a movie a movie where John Cena is actually not that bad in it. Like John Cena actually, it worked. He worked in what we.

Bumblebee was actually good. All right. And so the actual factual last thing is your top five Fast and Furious movies. Give them to me. All right. Number one, Fast Five. Two, the OG, the Fast and the Furious. Three, Curious Seven.

Four, Two Fast and Furious. Five, the Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drive. Wow. So we have basically kind of the same list mixed around a little bit except for those last two movies. I don't have them on it. The first three, I should say. So the OG Fast and the Furious is the best one to me.

Okay. Fast 5 is the second best to me. That's insane. Furious 7 is the third best to me. And then I have Furious 6 and Fate of the Furious. Those are my... The Fate of the Furious, I did my whole list is my least favorite one. Oh, right.

The Feather of the Furious. I didn't... I didn't mind very much. Like, the Face of Furious, the Fate of Furious is fine. To me, personally, I had actually, I went to see the movies in theaters, but I had actually written off the Fast and Furious franchise after Tokyo Drift.

I think everybody had. I've only fallen in love with Tokyo Drift after, like, doing a full rewatch of all the films and realizing, like, how good it is in retrospect. I do like that song, though. I do like that song. That song goes so hard, bro. That song is so fucking dope.

All right, we are out of here. That's it for us. Follow the Ring ofverse on Facebook, IG, and Twitter. Follow and please share the show. You have to join us on Wednesday when we get back to talking about Loki. We'll be talking about Loki episode four on Wednesday. And we'll be giving our knee jerk, not thought out, way too impulsive instant reactions on episode four.

I'm going to need you to check in with Mallory Rubin on Friday for her deep dives in the house of Miles. She's Mal. She's going to be talking to somebody different every single Friday, and they are going to be giving you a blueprint onto some of the hideous notions about Marvel's latest MCU installment that's happening over on Disney Plus. Before we get out of here, I want to make sure that I give our crew some love. Our producer is Steve Alman.

Our social producer is Jomi Adineron. Additional support from Tunday St. Matthew Daniel. We call him producer TD. He's our guy. Charles, it is time to go. And that means it's time to flow with you giving us the outro. Take it away. Van is my man.

Some would say Van is my homie. But when we talk about modern masculinity, you got to do some work, show me. I did nothing wrong. I can't believe y'all didn't name Bill. as your MVP. Bill, who is Bill? What are you talking about?

He's credited in the movie. Bill Simmons. What is Bill Simmons doing in the movie? He is a Linder Pit Crew on IMDB. Wait a second. Bill Simmons. Our Bill Simmons?

Yes. Bill Simmons. Nah, nigga, another Bill Simmons. Why would we be talking about? Why would it even be brought up if it was, if it was, If it was any other Bill Simmons. What are you talking about?

I didn't see him. I didn't see him. I think it's an audio role, but yeah, he's creative in the movie. So shout out to Bill. Bill got to relax.