The Ringer-Verse - Here Comes the Pitch: Villain Movie Edition | Mint Edition

Episode Date: October 2, 2024

Jomi and Steve are joined by the beloved Jessica Clemons for another edition of Here Comes the Pitch! This time around, in honor of the latest installments of ‘Joker’ and ‘Venom’ set to hit theaters, the gang is pitching their best villain movie. Get cozy in your supervillain lair and press play as the hijinks ensue. Hosts: Jomi Adeniran and Steve Ahlman Guest: Jessica Clemens Producer: Jonathan Kermah Additional Production Support: Arjuna Ramgopal Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hello and welcome into the ringerverse. The ringer's next podcast speed for all things fandom. I'm Steve Allman. I'm Jimmy Dinner on. And welcome back to Mint Edition. It's the once-and-a-while podcast, all the latest fandom that you just can't live without. We're back again.

It's damn near October. It is October, Jamie. It's October. It's October. Are you a spooky season guy? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Rock the vote tober. Bro, are you hard in October?

No, all right. All right, let's talk about it. Cut his, Mike. What the fuck are we doing? We have the, we, I come out with a taco in my pocket one time. And now this is all we got. One time. Yeah, yeah, that's how it works on this podcast.

And that's all that, that's my legacy for the entirety of my life. You say one thing. You mention one thing. You go, hey, man, I think Haley Steinfeld is a beautiful woman. you're the milkman. Right. You know what I'm saying? But like I can appreciate your legacy as a multifaceted affair, right?

Yeah, well, no, clearly not. It's literally one-dimensional. I do. I do. I will perpetuate such things. You asked me, am I, am I excited for the spooky season? Yes. Not really. No?

No, I'm not a spooky, not a spooky season guy. You're so you're not, okay, but, okay. So I'm going to say something right now. Okay. And I think that it's something that I think we could achieve within the month here. Yeah. I think by this time next year, year, we can get you on microphone or on camera using a Ouija board.

You're smoking the most elite crack. That's the last, I will quit this job before I use a Ouija board. No, no, no, you're laughing. I'm not laughing. This is not a joking matter. Not for content, right? Not for fun. If I come in, if you walk into the studio one of these days and candles are lit,

brother, boards out. Brother, I'm calling. the police. A. A. R. Yeah, I'm calling the police. Okay. Ring 911

911 officer. Get this man out this building. All right. Well, I'm going to ask our super special secret guest. That's not going to be a

secret in three, two, one. Everybody, welcome Jessica Clemens back to the show. Yay. I'm here for Bricktober.

Tobe-ed-up. Yes. Now that's what I'm talking about. That's why we come back. Jess, what Ouija boards are you using to summon? No, no, no, no. I remember, I remember it like it was yesterday.

I think it was last year I went to this one store and I found a tiny little Ouija board. Oh yeah, and you told me to bring it in and trick Jomi. And I was like Jopi would literally murder. You guys are laughing. It's not funny. I'm laughing at that I didn't do it.

I'm happy I didn't do it. I'm making the call. And we all get into a meeting. And we all go be in a meeting. Of all the things that happen We all go be a meeting. It's like final straw. It's the weege board.

It was like a tiny comical like one of those, you know the little, the mystery like or whatever that they have? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They make those like tiny brands. It was a tiny Ouija board. So I want, okay. It's funny now, but when all the, every, all the people that Spotify important are in the office, it's the director of HR, Daniel Eck himself in his office.

And now we stand around. They're off in Sweden. All the way from Sweden. They're like, we felt something. It's not going to be funny then. They're going to say, I'm telling you. Say what you want. I'll take it straight to the top.

Oh my gosh. Straight to the top. All the way to the top. All the way to the top. All right. Well, when we're not trying to figure out what toy-based mysticism, Jomi is or is not into, we're also talking about some fandom.

And we've got some, a lot of things to talk about. But before we get into that, some program reminders for the things that are happening on the Ringiverse, family brand staff record labels. Tomorrow, the House of R is going to give you their deep dive onto the rings of power finale. Season's over.

Season's over. They're so quick. They got all those rings of power and it's over now. I don't think you watched the show. I don't. I didn't. You know what, Jess? You're very astute. Kellogg's Bambor's in there? Kellogg's Booberry, no. Sauron.

Adar, I think. Yes, he's very hot. Yeah. And guess what? They're deep diving all the way with you into the weekend. And on Friday, the Midnight Boys are going to be giving you their reactions to Joker Folly Adieu. Jomi, how excited are you? I'm, it's like if there was a scale,

the second, the last thing I'm excited for is a Ouija board in the office. Right. Right above that is Joker Follyadu. Right. So if we summon Joker Folli Adieu via Ouija board, actually that's probably how they got that made. They got that greenlit.

Jesus Christ. Just at the WB Studios, just like. It shall be Lady Gaga, who has a coinciding album. I'm sensing. Good for her, man. Get that music. Great for her. Great for her.

We love Stephanie. All right. And also on Friday, the House of Our is going to bring you their deep dive into Agatha all along. We are enjoying that, though. Yeah. Agatha's good.

I like it. I'm having fun with Agatha. The also I'm having fun with. The penguin. You see the latest episode? I did see the latest episode. Okay. It was good.

It might be some good gasoline. Might be some heat on that. Might be some heat on there. On today's show, we are gathered here today. I'm just going to say celebration. We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of these fine podcasters. Yes. Right here.

Steve, Jess, and Jomey, the three of us. We're holding hands right now. Yeah, we're all, we can't see us, but we're all holding hands. We're wearing flower crowns. Jomey, your hands are sticky. Why would you do that? Why would you do that? Man, okay, here's the thing.

I could be hanging for my life on the edge of a woman. cliff and Jomey could reach his hand out and he'd be like sorry I just had ice cream before my hands were a little sticky I would let go. I would let go. I have lived a full life and I do I do the Christaer I'd be like I in the arms of the ain't no

Steve no I'm not touching your sticky fingers Jomey oh my sticky sticky fingers Sticky fingers are dinner on That's actually not bad it makes me sound like a thief It's no Let me tell you something, Jomi. That's the best case scenario.

You got to spit it. It's all about the spit, baby. That's true. No, it's not. All right, we're stopping that right now. Well, you got to remember back in the day. Okay, in the 40s, a guy was named Sticky Fingers because he was a thief. He was a klepto.

Okay. So, Jomey, what I need you to do is to look up 1940s vernacular and write that out of one to ten while I'm going to give you what we're going to be talking about. I'm going to go to Google Stray and just type in Sticky fingers, go to images and see what's the first thing that shows up. Please do that on the work. Thank you so much. Oh my gosh. Not on the...

It's not what you think it is. All right. We are gathering today. To talk about villains and villain films. And have a great time doing it in celebration because we don't really know how the Joker Folle A Due is going to be coming out. We're going to be talking about all of the villains that come out through fiction and about the things that they have been focused on in our lives.

They've been gotten movies. We love these people. We hate these people. We love to hate these people. Jessica Clemens Give us some of your thoughts about Joker Folly Adieu Are you excited for it?

And do you think that this ever needed a sequel? I don't think it ever needed a sequel, but if you, I'm a musical person, so as soon as you put, I think Lady Gaga's Harley Quinn would be very fun. And that was my first instinct was like, oh, I would love to see Harley Quinn sing and be really, and be Lady Gaga's voice.

But that's also me as a, like a theater, musical lover. Yes. As a Joker fan, I'm like, I don't really need this. And I think the audience and I think how it's being portrayed and what we've heard so far from reviews

are making me less excited about it, which is unfortunate, because I don't want to be swayed by critics so often, but I haven't heard a lot of great, great things about it. So I'm worried, but I'm also not here this week to go see it opening night,

so I'm kind of happy I can... Oh, darn. Oh, no, I'm going to be out of the country, so I'm happy to be like, I'll come back into it and see how it's doing. Okay. Well, Jomi, I know that we've made our thoughts about the first Joker very well known.

But is there any ray of sunshine or light of hope that comes from a sequel to Joker, a movie that we more or less really don't like? Absolutely zero. There's nothing. They're out there. Look, the directors, like everybody around the movie, they talked about how this is not a musical. They just express their thoughts and feelings and emotions through music.

So, you know, that just, I'm already, I already know what I'm getting myself into. But in terms of, like, villains, we're in, like, a different villain era right now. You know, we're watching Agatha and Penguin, right? Both villains. And then later this year, not only getting the Joker this week, but Craven and Venom movies are coming out. Exactly. Like, we're in a new villain, villain, villain place. And we're getting even more later down the pipe.

There have been talks about a Deathstroke and Bain movie. We're getting the hunt for Gullum. in the Lord of the Rings IP I thought the video game stunk Oh no that's the Golm video game But no yeah But Andy Circus is coming back to do the Golm Andy Circus coming back

Yeah I'm pretty sure he could do literally anything else Wow he doesn't have to do Golming I think he just feels very close to it Like he does every time he talks about doing Smigel Yeah he's like this was my baby Which it is like and that's an interesting thing Because a lot of actors that have portrayed

iconic villains with iconic performances that kind of ends up being the thing that we know and love them for the most like has there ever been a time where like you're like oh that actor's just kind of like done that one thing in that one villain term but then the rest of their career is like oh they just went on to be Meryl Streep or something like that

well I mean it really depends on the actor right I think but I think we do this all the time for a lot of characters if you play a character often enough or you play it well enough that it becomes it defines you then like, yeah, like, if I'm watching, you know, whatever, and then Chris Hembert show up, I'm like, hey, what's Thor doing there? You know what I'm saying? Or if, like, Tom Hiddleston shows up something, like, hey, what the hell is Loki on?

You know what I mean? Like, that's just what it becomes. And so for Andy Circus, he's had, I mean, outside of Gallum, Caesar, honestly, is pretty iconic in the same vein. So for a guy that's as prolific as him, I know he's like always wanted us to get into directing too, right? So I guess if he's directing it, then I would see why he would get into it, but another

I mean, again, I didn't play that video game, but I know what I saw. And that was not good. That tanked Gollumstocks for a long, long time. And well, fun fact, Andy Circus did direct Venom too. See? So maybe actually, now that I think about it. How much

of it, I would love to be on that set, fly on the wall, see how much he actually directed. Because with Tom Hardy, you know he was doing his own shit. Well, okay, so wait, wait, wait, because if Tom Hardy was doing his own thing, I would, I am begging and praying that Woody Harrison was also doing his own thing. There's no way he wasn't. Because if any circles, like, yes, we need that. Well, okay, here's the thing. If I'm being completely honest, like, yeah, like, if Tom Hardy's going to do his thing like that, then I guess Woody Halston does he do his thing like that.

But then when you're putting the symbiote into the computer and it's hacking the planet. You got them internet? All right, guys. You know what I mean? Like at some point, we got a cut the... Do you think... Do you got them internet's was on the page, or was that Woody?

That sounded like Woody to me, man. I feel like, because Woody is a great actor, he takes really good direction. So this is probably him just improvising something that had no direction. You know what I'm saying? I like that. I think so. I think so. Sometimes nine times out of ten, you're like, oh, where'd the director go for this?

Did any circus return for the third Venom movie? Yeah, it's going to be directed by Kelly Marcel. Fun. She did Corella. Curella. Oh, a villain movie itself. Exactly. Here's my problem.

with all the villain movies. I think I said this on the Joker pod. But the thing about villains, like villain movies, besides the fact that, like, their ops are usually not in the movie. Right. Right?

Like, that's a problem, but we don't have to talk about that right now. Is that they make us try to, like, they make us try to feel for them. Not like, you want to feel for them, obviously,

but like, they make them try to be the good guy. Like, it's the classic quote of, like, they're the heroes of their own story. Yeah. And it makes them, like, kind of a thing.

No. And it, well, no, it's kind of a, pass fail in certain types of situations. Like, obviously, we don't need to... Like, do we need to know how to empathize with Cruella DeVille? Maybe not? I don't care.

We don't need to. Yeah. Do we have to have, like, you know, the empathy or the, like, character arc of, say, a Joker or something like that? Definitely not. I mean, again, debatable. Debatable to who? Who cares?

People... All I'm saying is, if you're going to make a Kurella... If you're going to make a villain movie, they have to be a villain. And I think Joker did a good job of being like, this is a villain. Corrella, I didn't see her skin one dog. I'm not saying that I wanted to see her skin a dog. But that's what makes Corella a villain. Here's what I love about Cruella Deville in the cartoon 101 Dalmatians.

Is that the main woman whose name escapes me, it's just her, Cruella is just her college friend that hangs out and stinks and won't leave and is just insufferable. She just happens to be a monster. If she didn't have those Dalmatians, She probably just would have hung out with her, drank a lot of wine, and then she would have left. She would have skinned another animal, though.

Yeah, but we wouldn't have seen that. 1001 Beavers? What if we have felt the same way? Probably not. Do the beavers talk? Are they cute? No. It's okay, so stay tuned for my 101 Dalmatian sequel where it's all little mudangs to be saved from a Kuala.

And I will save it. I will save them. I will shave them. Yes. You need the Avengers. and then just pull up on whoever's insulting mudang. Yeah.

It's not going to slide. But yeah, man, like the villain stuff, it's like, let them be evil. Again, we talked about this on the Joker pod, but like, yeah, I guess they make Joker look evil, but at the same time, he's not the Joker. He's just a dude in clown makeup. You know what I mean? And so, like, you do have to kind of stay, like, within the realm of the comic book world, like, or within the world that your character is based on.

And if the Joker is going to beat a Joker, then like we said, let them scheme something. Let them like rob something. Let them be the evil bad guy that we know and love. Like when the movie, when the credits roll, I want to feel like I just watched a villain be created. And Vettom didn't do that. And Joker didn't do that.

And so when I'm going on these movies, I'm like, yo, what is the point of watching these guys get created, watch these characters, like find themselves when really it's just like, they're just cosplaying hero. It's a hero movie. You just slapped a villain on there so you can get people in theater. I don't really buy it usually.

Okay. I think so I think that with that comes our small mini rankings of just like some of the better villain movies or villain projects, things that we can think of that actually kind of hit this home. And I think I would start this because as a lover of musicals, Jess, I think you'll agree. Wicked might be the best version of this. the wicked movie well no just the story of wicked the musical wicked the book

Wicked defying gravity yeah he knows it no yeah we know that we better know that but I genuinely think that's the thing where you have a character that is more or less starting from zero hero of their own story and then you see them through the course of events turn into something that is completely

antithetical to what we would describe a hero to be but they're still on own path. I think it's also because Wicked was like kind of the first, they weren't the first to do it, but I do, I will say, yeah, they were the first to do it very well. And I also think it also works because it's the Wizard of Oz, if that makes sense. Like, it works for that. And it also works for anything that's very old. What we love a lot in art is like taking those like historical lore films or movies or whatever stories. And then when we could flip it and be like, oh, well, let's ask the question of what if the big, like, the werewolf or the wolf in like Little

Red Riding Hood actually was a metaphor for something. else. Yeah. And it meant this. It's tantalizing that way. That's why I'm like, Wicked is a different story. They are,

you guys know they're playing the movie in half, right? Yeah. They're not telling anybody. They're not telling anybody, but yeah. Because you won't see it if they, if they told you that it's going to be two parts and a musical. Okay. That's such a cynical, like my marketing side.

And they're not even telling you it's musical. It's sick work. No, no. They really are putting any songs in the trailers or anything. And it's funny because it's wicked. Yeah, right? The thing that we all know is a musical. We know before the book, no one reads.

We know the musical. So I'm confused, though, because I get, again, they're marketing it as wicked. Go see Wicked. It's a what? Two-hour musical? Like three-hour musical, yeah. Three-hour musical, right? Brother man, you can just say, like, hey, we're taking like a real-life intermission.

Like, you'll be a 12-month intermission. And they get rubs people the wrong way. I mean, yeah. But would you rather be, like, lied to? to, like, hey guys, this is a part one. But when you're lied to, you already spent the money to go see it. Yeah, but would you want to see some big emerald letters that says to be continued at the end of that movie? I mean, so if I'm tricked, but if I'm, I think they care about the money more than they care about our emotion.

Yeah, which I understand. Let me tell you something. Imagine going to a movie and they'd be like, to be continued. And you don't. In six months. And you're like, all right, bro. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to have to go to the studio. We don't have to see each other.

Fighterverse did that to me. Yeah, and it was... Yeah, because that thing wasn't done. That straight up wasn't a movie that was made, part three. I literally was like, we're not seeing this movie for five years. For like 20-27. I was like, we're not seeing this movie for five years. They're like, no, I don't know.

It's coming next year. I was like, brother. No, brother. No shot. And guess what? We're not going to see it. You were right. You're right, and Jomey was right.

It was right. I was like, we're never seeing this movie. Delayed. No, we can't win them all. Can win them all. Can't win. But what we can do is maybe win a little game that we've got planned on here. We got another episode of Here Comes the Pitch.

That's right. It's one of our favorite games we like to play here. We are going to be pitching our own villain movies. Three of us, Jess, myself, and Jomey, are going to come with two pitches for you for villain movies that we think could do gangbusters in the box office. We pick the villain. We pick the plot line. We pick the potential star as well as a little fun thing.

give a brief little act out about the trailer that we could sell people on. All right. So this is, it really not in any particular order because we vaguely understood what we were going to do for each section of this. But before we begin, I wanted to kind of peel back the curtain here

and talk about a little interaction that Jess had when we were emailing about this subject. When I was talking about pitching villain movies, what I admit was villains in fiction. And Jess was asking, well, can we do real life villains and real life horrible people?

Oh my God. You did it? You, okay, first off, you can't come to me and be like, Jessica, hey, can you stay grounded? And I'm going to say, because I'm not going to do it. But then also, I immediately was like, oh, he means Zachary Leva. No.

You know what? You got to bleep it out. Here's my thing. We're going to each go around the room and just say one name about, a villain in real life that we would make a movie out of. We're not going to be, the audience won't hear it. Okay.

Three, two, one, Jess go. Uh, oh, uh, the, uh, the, that, the, that, the, that, the, f, wow. Hello, Ring ofverse fans. I regret to inform you that due to the initiation of Deep Shaddle Protocol, this bit had to be edited out of the pod. I know. I'm just as disappointed as you are.

Thanks as always for listening. And the Midnight Boys, Poo, Poo, Poo. We'll get back to you shortly. That's definitely not making a plot. Real-life villain, Jomi, three, two, one, go. Genghis Khan. Oh, there we go. You shouldn't have chosen me.

You shouldn't have chose me first. That was nuts. Oh, man. All right. All right, curve. Three, two, one, go. Hulk Hogan. Fuck that, nigga.

That's a real one. That's a real criminal. And in the documentary, he was like, I've done bad things. Yeah, brother, I didn't really like that. Chris Hansover was supposed to play him at one point. Yeah, yeah. And they're like, maybe this is too hot to handle. That's a great call.

I would hate Chris Hemsworth by association. All right, Steve, real life villain. Three, two, one, go. Christopher Columbus. Yeah, that's a good one. He almost said Jesus Christ. No, because, yeah, clearly that was taken. It was going to be that or Mel Gibson?

I should say Mel Gibson. You literally could have said anything else. You shouldn't have came to me. When you said three, I didn't know what to do. I was on the spot. This is why I need you pressed all the time, because you just say wild stuff. If you think about it sometimes. If you think about it, no, really unlock your brains here.

You guys open that third mind. All right, all right. Somebody should have said Mother Teresa. Wow. Well, this was fun. Nobody knows what we said, but that was a very fun bit. Now, let's get back to the actual game in the adie. Three minutes of bleeps.

All right. Oh, my God. Jomi, how about you go first? No, Steve, you go first. I go first. Yeah. Oh, goodness. Yeah?

I guess that's how we do it. There's no yes. I can go first. No, no. You said you didn't want to go for her. I know, but we warmed up enough than I'm ready. Just came to us with like a very elegant pitch in her hand. Like it was just like a turkey dinner and we're like, we're not having this out until the mains are served.

Yeah, until it's ready. Not until it's ready. So I guess I'll go first with my first pick. I'm going to start with my property and my villain because I want to build up to it. I want to riff off the greatest Christmas movie of all time with the greatest Christmas was villain of all time, while still having a high-flying action and drama-filled epic set in the 70s. Okay.

This will be a villain origin story from the diehard universe. I'm giving you the origins of Hans Gruber. As portrayed by Alan Rickman in the 1980s classic action film, I would like to give an origin story. about how Hans Gruber came to be. Now, you're wondering that we don't know that much about Hans Gruber. We actually do. We actually do quite a bit.

Turns out that he was kicked out of a German terrorist organization for having, I believe the quote is, unethical movements and motivations within that organization. What he wanted to do was just rob banks. He just wanted to rob people. You didn't really believe in that much. I was about to say, how much of a sick you got to be to get kicked out of a terrorist organization? German terrorist organization.

So when you give me Hans Gruber, I'm thinking, okay, he was also, again, I got this from the Wikipedia. Apparently he played violin. Wow. And it was into the arts. Who put this in there? I don't know who, but God bless you for when you did. So what I would like to see is a early 20-something Hans Gruber, as per a true. trade by

Adam Driver. Oh, that's fun. That's a fun. Playing a German separatist who has joined this freedom fighter, we'll call it the Freedom Fighter organization. They take like a hostage situation,

something similar to die hard, where they've like kidnapped a bunch of foreign dignitaries and they want to free a bunch of political prisoners in, you know, whatever sites abroad or whatever. But Hans has bigger ambitions of just greed and power and wants to go to the states to be a high-class criminal and to make a jet-setting life of riches and ill-begotten gains.

But he is bumping up against his number one in command. I'm going to call him Fritz. As played by Daniel Bruill. Let me look this out. Daniel Briel, Zemo. Oh, yes. Oh! I'm interesting.

So what happens is we have a, we have more or less, think of a diehard level standoff between hostage takers and the cops. And what I want to basically make is

the Spikely movie Inside Man, but it's Hans Gruber and Daniel Brule and they're here to outsmart the cops. And I want to have like a little fun bit

where they try to send in a John McLean-like guy but he gets killed within the first five minutes of getting into the building. Just as a fun little thing for me. He's got like the tank top on and just gets gunned down.

Does Simon McGruber show up? So no. You allude to Simon. Okay. As portrayed by Jeremy Irons in... Die Hard with a vengeance. He looked awesome in that movie, by the way. He was great, dude.

The sunglasses really... The sunglasses of the tank top? Yeah. It was a fit. It was great. What I like to see is basically the only actual problem is the strife between Hans and Fritz, figuring out how to actually go about this this con, this like, you know, this settlement.

But so what Hans does, what Gruber does is basically he turns heel on everybody in his crew to get everybody either arrested or killed while he makes a way with robbing all the dignitaries and then begins his way out to the States. I love this. That's how we end. Okay, good.

I like, good. I like, oh, so he's going to be good. He was never a good guy. Yeah, he's never a good guy. But this is basically like a battle of ideals. Yeah. Between two guys, one who wants to be in charge and one who actually is. Oh, that's fun. I like it.

I'm here for it. At first, when you said it was a Christmas movie and another Christmas movie, I immediately went, okay, it's the Grinch. Well, I got to think of a holiday, but I'm like, it can't be. No, it works. It works. And I like your idea more than my idea. I was like, oh, he's going with the Grinch.

Because that is a villain. Oh, shit. But then, no, this is better. No, but first of all, Jim Carrey's Grinch. There's a lot of Grinch movies. Already did all the work for us. You can't improve upon perfection. You really can't.

Hans Gruber is a very specific. I would have never guessed that someone in this room did a Hans Gruber. But his name is so ridiculous. Hans Gruber! Yeah, it's a great name. But it's too much like Mick Gruber? Dude, I can't think... Grooer!

I can't think it was going to... One of the best movies ever. What's the title of yours? That's a hard thing because it was hard to think. Because whenever I think of titles for movies, I just think of taglines. I get it, me too. So it has to be like, so it has to have something. with the IP in it, or at least some sort of recognizable thing, while still having its own cool title.

It can't be like, last to die, or dying. Oh, because it's called die hard? Yeah. Live soft. Live soft. The opposite of diehard. You got live soft. Live soft.

No, but it probably have to be like cowboy crusade from the world of diehard. I just also like making them cowboys. Kind of like the ad hoc. The Aina Darbis John Wick movie is like From the world of John Wick Valerita. That's in the title. That's in the title. Guys. That's some real origin of Batman's Butler type shit from Pennyworth.

We don't have to do that. We could just not do that. Some people don't get it. Yeah, but the fact that you had a John Wick cameo in your trailer, not only a John Wick cameo, but a John Wick co-sign. Well, you got to get the people in the... I think you just also have to repeat it a bunch

because you're trying to lure people to go see this movie. It's a series, isn't it? in the series of? Yeah, but you think that Anadourmas isn't enough of a draw? Yeah, 100%. Especially after the movie that they just came out with with Jude Law and Cindy Sweeney, no one's talking about it. Yeah. What movie are you talking about?

Exactly. Exactly. Did you just make that up? No, no, and Sidney Judy Comer and, or is it Vanessa Kirby? No, and Daniel Broom's in it. And Daniel Bhral is in it. What the hell are you guys talking about? It's a movie. That's real with people and the budget and scenes. And I do think Anna Darmes is, like,

appeal immediately. But I think it's like, why do I care about an action movie called ballerinas with this? And that's why you have to put that John Wood tag on it. Man, I saw a vampire movie with a child ballerina at night, a great time. Abigail's great. Because we're little freaks. No, I'd like it because Dan Stevens says, those are fucking onions.

That's funny. I saw that clip online, though. It's funny. No, you can see that movie. Abigail's great. Abigail's great. I don't think it's scary. I don't think it's scary. Yeah, sure, I trust you guys. Guys watch Abigail. That's true. But yes, that is my pitch. I'm going to give you a real thing of the trailer. Okay. Top of the don't. All right.

Kerm, give me my trailer music. In a world where the greatest bank robber became the greatest freedom fighter. He's got a bone to pick with his crew. And his crew

has a bone to pick with the world. I don't really know what accent this is. I think it's... It's not a German. It's not a German. It's not a German than vaguely European. I'll keep... Went to like a weird Swedish.

Yeah. It's like some... You were somewhere. in that country, yeah. Academy Award, I think, nominee, Adam Driver. He was nominated for Ferrari, right? He was nominated for... Marriage Story.

Marriage Award nominee for Marriage Story. Adam Driver is Hans Gruber in Live Soft. What do we say? A Hans Gruber story, part one based on the... I don't know.

Hot Scroober! Hatsgroober! I'll tell you right now, the pitch, I'm in. I'm giving you money. The trailer? No. The trailer I'm not, did you remember it? It's just two dudes sitting in a row starring Daniel Brule as, as Fritz. Yes.

Could you Google it really quick? Yes. Hold on. Click, click, click like, click, right at R. Right. Explosions. Yeah. Gunshots.

Yeah, I mean, look, anything we can do to get some more action movies starring Adam Driver and Daniel Rule. Yes. I'm interested to see how he goes from. being a freedom fighter to being a bank robber. Here's the thing. He only is in it for the money. Just for the bread. Yeah. And that's the thing though, because we know him as a bank robber, as a thief, as a criminal.

And he fakes the idea to the cops in Diehardt of like, no, I'm a, I'm a terrorist. Like, you're here to free these political prisoners. We have a cause. No, we just want the bearer bonds. That's all we want. Got to get the bear bonds. It's all about the bear bonds, baby. It's all about the bearer bonds, baby. Bear bonds rules.

of everything around me. No, I get that, and I like that a lot. I feel like, though, naturally, some people will be, like, mad that the ending ends with him just still being a villain. Not like... Yeah, but it's like... But that's what it has to be. That's what it has to be.

He's just, like, smirking, getting away with the bag of money. 100%. And then he's off to the States to get a new crew. That's what he is. It also makes you remember, like, throughout the movie, don't forget that this man is still Hans Gruber. Yeah, he's a real son of a bitch. No matter what you see him do working with this other guy,

he is still Hans Cooper. Yeah, but then, but we'll get glimpses of him maybe being a, like flickers of a decent person in there. Like he would let somebody off the hook or like maybe not get a German police officer killed or something. I don't know. But like, yeah, he's a bad guy. This episode is brought to you by Spectrum Business.

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It's my turn. Wait. You want to go? No, no, no, just. Only because I'm scared to go last. Go, go, right, right, right. Watch it be bad. Watch it be bad.

That's the only reason. But I do love that we are all different. I'm saying this before I know Jomi's, that I chose a horror scenario for my. Okay, great. Of course she did. Yes. I say I'm brand. That's one thing.

Okay. Okay. So the trailer. It's a dusty, cold dead city. Imagine. You don't have to close your eyes. Tumbleweets? No, not Tumbleweeds because this is Forks, Washington.

Oh, okay. Okay. What do I say about laughing? Forks, Washington. No laughing. Yes. Okay. And I put in the, I put in here, Forks Washington.

You ever heard of it? You ever heard of it? Two girls are constantly bullied for being different. Okay. They find a way to stop their bullying with a spell, an incantation they learn on red. This spell calls upon no other than the Pied Piper. What?

An ordinary rat catcher, or so we think. Summining the Pied Piper allows him to make any child disappear. But what happens when the kids won't stop disappearing in Forks, Washington? How do you stop the Pied Piper? What happens when they're the last children left in this city? Who will come for them? The title? Pipeed.

Hey, y'all! Not kosher? Okay. Pops! What about Piper stop piping? Oh, you know? You have multiple working child. I'm sorry.

Please continue. Live down repeat. Edge of tomorrow. What are you doing? Keep, please keep going. So, we don't like those two options? No, please.

Please, keep going. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry for interrupting. I'm so sorry. No, it's okay. These ones are kind of normal after. I got flute.

Flute? Just flute. Wait, well, you had flute in the pocket, but you went with piped? I think I was riding free hands. We're keeping piped. Okay. Piper stopped piping was also a fun one.

That's great. Piper stop. That's like a good tagline. But even then it's still like, I don't know. But like, you know, imagine the trailer and at the end and someone's going,

why won't he stop piping? Ha! They do a remix of wipe me down. It's pipe me down. Fight me down. Please stop. Piper, stop piping. Piper stop.

But no, and it's that meme where it's just like, my house is burned to the ground. My family's dead. What do I do? It's like, Piping, pipe, pipe, pipe, oh my God.

So the Pipey Piper. The villain is the Pipe Pipeypiper. That's incredible. Oh my God. So wait, when is, forgive me, what's the origins of that story? How old is that story? I think it's an old, old German tale. And that has been clearly redone, re-talked about, in plays over the time for like centuries.

Two and two for Germans right now. Oh, yeah, we're doing another German. Well, yeah, it's another German story, but it's modern times today. We usually published in 1842. Incredible. My God. Oh, wait, no, no, sorry, sorry. Like, iterations have put it on a 1592 painting as well.

It goes back. 1933 film That's the fun thing about the Pied Piper is it depends on who you are morally if it's a villainous story or if it's a good story. No, this is a villainous story for sure. Mine's a villain's story, but the original Pied Piper

remember he was getting the rats out of town and everyone were like, we're not paying you for your doings and he went, oh, okay. And then he turned friendly. He went, do, and the children followed like the rats and they're like, please bring our kids back. And he was like, okay, all right, all right. Well, I like this.

What is that? Is there like a, like, I used to be a father, like type of turn that he was like, like any good redeeming qualities of him or no? This is, no, no, no, not at all. He is like Candyman. Oh, okay. So he's just a monster. They summoned a monster.

And the monster is the Pied Piper. And he will make any child disappear. But he just cannot stop. And they're like, we don't know how to make him stop. And he keeps killing all the kids in Forkswashing. Piper. Stop piping. Thank you.

So now you understand the title. The working title. Piper, stop piping. My question is, why Forks Washington? I know why, but I want you to say it. What do you think? Why Forks, no, no, no, no. Why Forks Washington?

Because it's, okay, personally, not at all because of Twilight. Oh. But all because of Twilight. I think it's an easy, dirty, cold city that everyone knows. Now this is, now, you know, it begs the question. What, like, where in time does this take place? Is this the same universe as Twilight? Is there another iconic baseball scene that we get from the Piper?

take place in the same world as Twilight, only because they're teenagers, so the Pipeyper's not coming for them. It's coming for middle schoolers. One of the elder Cullins. Yeah, he's like, oh, I know that guy. I've lived long enough to know the original Piper. Don't mess with Pipey.

Stay away from the high school. Stay away from the high school. He won't come here. Scram! But I was like, I think it takes place today. And it's just, and not again, what I'm about to say is not tasteful at all. It's just, I think,

what it kind of follows the same lines of that story, the true crime story of the two girls that summon, um, Oh, Slender Man. Slender Man. It's kind of that situation of like these two girls that are like, oh,

we found this crazy worldwide web weird place. And I'm going to call up on the Pied Piper. Either way, it's the Pied Piper is a villain story. It is going to star two young girls, whomever auditions because I don't know any two young girls. But like, can you give me an age?

I want them to be like 10. Okay. They're young. They're young because the Pye Piper specifically is only taken away kids. I think when you're teens, they don't really come for you. And I take it he's like zomified because he's come back from like elder times. Yeah. Well, this is, okay, so this is the thing.

The director, I wanted to be the director of Dune. Dinnyville Nouve. And you know why? Because he also did prisoners starring Jack Junkall, of course, but Paul Danna, who was. Dano, who I want to play the Pied Piper. Wow. Yes. And I want it in the same essence of what Prisoners is the movie because it's so dark and it's a mystery.

And you never really know who the villain or like who did it until the very end. And I kind of wanted to play with the Pied Piper. He shows up, but it's more of like shadows and the flutes. Okay. And then at like at the end when they come fight him, they fight them. Can he be wearing like some sort of like 1500s garbs? The Pied outfit? Yeah, yeah.

So Walt Disney did a animated film of this. Oh, beautiful. And, like, this is what Homebar looks like. 100%. That is Paul Dano. He's got to have the hat. He's got to have the little, like, jester-looking thing. Yeah.

Yes. Like, the tights, the whole thing. Yeah. And so, like, he's calling out the rats. So basically, he's ripped out of time. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, wait.

Is he using the rats to kill children? No, he's luring the children. Like rats. Like rats. Because that's what he did in the original story. He was luring rats out of the cities. But once they refused to pay him, he lured the children out the same way. So this is one that you call upon the just.

that just wears the kids to their deaths. Yeah, I mean, I like it. I see what's going on. If, like, I'm in the executive room, I'm like, okay, I see the vision. We do need to get pied or you need to get a piper out of the name. No, I, listen. Then I will go somewhere else. Then I will go to Warner Bros.

No, come to death row. We respect your creative vision, and you will keep piping in this film. Jomi, I have to go over here. See, here's the thing. You guys keep using pipes. This movie's about. little kids. We have to, we have to figure some out. No, no. But no one, but it's

Piper. Piper. Piper. I don't, I don't, I don't see it. I offered Piper stop piping. You still said no. No. No. I would love, I would love for also like a great visual gag for him to like run into like a plumber. Just be like, oh, not that. Okay. And then he leaves. Not that kind of. The rat man. Yeah. Maybe. The rat man. No, don't know. The rat man cometh. We're not workshopping this. It's. It's

The Piper. The Piper? Children of Chaos. I don't know. That's the Agatha one. Okay, it's a working title. You know how when people they get their sets,

they get their locations and they have the like fake name. We'll call it Pipe for now. Pipe for now. Yeah, yeah. That's the working title. Secret name. Under, yeah.

But then when the day comes, I refuse to change. Don't change it. Right. You just get attached to us like, I don't know. I think this is it. It's just the one.

I like it. That's brilliant. I love it. Thank you so much, Jess. And I want everybody to look up that Disney, while Disney, Pied Piper, because that's exactly the outfit.

If you look up Silly Symphony Pied Piper, you'll see it there. Okay, I think I'm going to follow in Jess's footsteps. I'm going to do my trailer first. Yeah. I'm going to get ready. Okay, let me get ready. But inexplicably also this same studio that brought you Iron Man 2, Thor-Levin Thunder, and Avengers Age of Ultron.

Comes a film that dares to ask the question. Does anybody know how the Ten Rings got to Earth anyway? Stop it. Stop. Stop it. Before there was Doom, there was Finn Fang Foom coming to theaters this summer. You are absolutely not doing this. Fing Fing Foon movie. Come on.

Who's now. Who's in? Come on. No? I really don't know. No? I need to hear more about it. Okay.

So. Please tell us more about Fing Fingham. For y'all who are not locked in. Y'all, the people who didn't play Lego Marvel's Adventures or like read old-ass comic books. Which we know was everybody. Or Marvel Ultimate Alliance. All right. Deep cut.

Yeah, who people weren't locked in. Okay. Fin Fain Fum is a dragon who, like, Like, actually, I don't know, brought the 10 Rings Stars, whatever. But, like, is an old Iron Man and Hulk villain who can be humanoid, but it's basically like a big dragon that breathes fire and it's an alien from another planet and all that stuff. And so basically in this movie, okay, it comes from, was it, MacLU-Four. MacLam-4.

From McClure? No. Now, that's a villain. That's a villain. Fing Fain Foon comes from Macu-Four. right, escapes with his family. For whatever reason, he's got to leave the planet, right? Boom, lands in China a thousand years ago, all right?

And it's shapeswipped and dragon, you know? It's kind of hard to make friends when, you know, you always got to eat stuff. You know what I'm saying? And the townspeople are like, hey, man, these dragons is wilding, brough. You know, these, whatever these mystical things are, we got to, we got to keep them safe from a family. Right? And they go and they kill Fing Fingfeng's family, bro. That can't stand.

That can't stand. He was trying to live a peaceful life. Just be out there, live doing this thing. And then he came to kill my family. Hell not. So he's going to tear. And this one guy, he goes by the name of Wenwu. He's like, hey, man, we're not going to let this slide.

We got to kill that dragon. We got to mess up this dragon. Right? Gets the townspeople. they get a big fight. Fing Fing Fingom loses, loses the 10 rings, right? Gets frozen in the block of ice for a thousand years.

Got to figure, figuratively and literally put up on ice forever. That's how when we got the 10 rings, and that's how Fing Fing Fum showed up in MCU. Any questions? So this is your story just to bring Fing Fing Fing Fum into the MCU? That's right.

Oh, my God. Does it have to be the name Fing Fing Fung? It has to be, brother. Can it just be Fume? No, no, no, no. no, no, no, no. Fume is crazy. I don't...

How is that any more crazy than the other two? Also, you wouldn't let me name my movie Pipe. Again, the context, you know what I'm saying? Let's be serious. Oh, yeah, no, let's definitely be serious

about Ping Fang Foon. Guys, let's be serious. You said, um... You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, no. No messing around here. Let's not messing around, okay? Listen, I mean, we got dragons in Shang Chi, right?

And we've always asked the question, how did those... Those are supposed to be ten rings, but they fit like bracelets. Hmm. That's interesting. something bigger might have been wearing them might have been a big

freaking dragon guys you know what I'm saying think about it think about it Finn Feng Fum isn't a villain right though No it's a super Yeah it's a villain it's just a magical being Here's my question I only know him from the comics from the 10 rings

So he, Finn Fag Fum is our main character It's a main character Right is he at all like anthropomorphized or Nah it's well it's a Well they switch between like human and dragon mode Right where you get to Earth you cloak you like you know gotta you know

pretend to be a human but you know you know when people show up to town a small town you're like hey man sure this is again this is a thousand years ago we weren't as woke back then as we are now of course when like dragon dragons starts showing up you kind of like hey man I start really going to sly like that

you know what I'm saying I don't know you you seem like you came from space you're saying that we would be more tolerant of a dragon in society now than definitely definitely like a dragon show people start worship me as a god you know what I mean yeah That would be like, oh, snap, a flying reptile. Holy crap.

You know what I'm saying? But back then in the, you know, literally a thousand years ago, nah, it's death on site. Okay. So that begs the question. Who plays Fink Fane Foon? You know, shout out to my guy. Okay. They did them dirty in Iron Fist, right?

And then they had, he had that one show. What was it called? New Warriors or whatever that didn't work out. The white man? Hell not. What are you getting ready to say? What are you getting ready to say? Don't do that.

Don't do that to my boy. Okay. Lewis Tan. Okay. Y'all remember Louis Tan? No. Y'all are hating. Well, now you will.

Because he's going to be in pink face. He's got to be doing the voice of the dragon? Well, he's going to be the dragon. And then he's going to do the voice of the dragon when he transforms it to a dragon. It could be a Cizziah dragon, but just don't real dragons. Should have been Cisco. Could have been Cisco. Y'all didn't see Mortal Kombat?

No, we saw Mortal Kombat. I think my pauses are on a FinFang Fum movie. But my pauses are more so I'm like, how are we going to get the audience to come see it? I know we love dragons and we do want more. I mean, you just get Louis Tans to take a shirt off. Marvel Studios, right? That's $250 million right there.

All right. Boom. Yeah, but we didn't. How is Marvel going to get people to see? A lot more than $250 million now. Boom. We start there. That's $250 million in a bag.

All right, off the rip. Okay. Okay. Budget of 800 mil. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, first of all, you can make this movie for $80 million. You think so? 100%.

No, no, no, no, but we're Marvel over here. A dragon? No, no, no, no. The CGI dragon throughout the whole movie. Yeah, wait a minute. Brother, how much, okay, how much of it, let's see how much it costs them to make House of the Dragon this year? Uh, a lot.

So you want the Dragon to show up in Dragon form as much as the House of the Dragon, which was three episodes. It's going to be less than that, right? You come to Earth as the Dragons, then you turn to humans. Oh, okay. And then you're probably the Dragon's like, maybe like, Like two or three times, right? You need the big, like, you know, fight, obviously.

How's the Dragon was 20 million an episode? 20 million episode for eight episodes. So that's about... 160 million? Bro, man. And we're not even casting that many people. Not even that. How many people do you cast?

So you need Lewis Tan and Spanfeiting. You need, like, those wife and kids, right? That's like, again, kids don't cost that much, right? That's easy. They work on, like, sag rates. They were like, what's the sag rate for... for kids. I don't know.

I just feel like this is crazy dialogue. I didn't think that we'd get here with this. Once you say kids don't cost that much. What? Kids work for lunchebles? Yeah, they don't eat that bread like that. We're not casting, we're not casting freaking, you know what I'm saying? Unless it was like Finn Wolford or something. Yeah, we're not casting the Olson twins back.

You know what I'm saying? We don't got to do all that. You feel me? So that's going to be easy. And then you just, you know, extras, right? You got to bring Wemwood back. You got to win people over with the cast. You got one star.

Listen, listen. We put Marvel on that thing, right? And we go, it's going to be a dragon. It's going to be crazy. I'm going to tune in. I'm going to see it. I'm going to see it. I'll be there.

I'll be there. You know what I'm saying? See, this is a deep. This is how the state of, you know, just like the entire industry right now, got to dig deep for these characters, you know what I'm saying? Pye Piper, Finn, fain, fain, you know what I'm saying? Like, if it was, if there was real justice, he would have showed up in the Iron Man movie. But, you know, you know,

I'm saying. That's crazy. You know what I'm saying? Got to stay grounded. Got to stay real. You know what I'm saying? Even in, I want to say one of the first Iron Man, they can even have, like, the Ten Rings was a terrorist organization, but they literally didn't do the 10 rings.

It's not until Shang Chi or at least Iron Man 3, All Hell the King, right? When they were like, oh, look, it's the Mandarin and all this. We saw the video footage of the Mandarin. You see the fake Mandarin, right? Because that was too crazy in 2013. and then all hell the king there's like actually the Mandarin's real just joke and then in Chongchi it's like mandarin is one woo right I think it's been so long like literally what shang chi came out with 2020 right 2021 something like that and they had that post-grader scene about where the rings are from and then like we don't know like they literally haven't seen that you know and so long and so it's kind of cool if it was like hey what if the rings are singling more feng feng feng feng fung to come out here know what I'm saying because our feng feng feng feng feng ful Oh, okay. So it's following, it's also like, it would be like Shang-ji, too.

Exactly. See what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying? We can't put Shang-chi, he's in the post-credits, obviously. Can't put him in the movie. But then when he showed up, he's like, yo, what's up? Oh, this is where the rings came from? What?

And there's more coming. Oh, snap. You know, Shang-Chi, too, baby. Who's directing it? And what's the title? Who's directing the, that's a great question. Who's directing the Fing-Fing-Fing movie? So there's a lot of people.

You know what I'm saying? I was going to the list. I was like, you know, Spilberg, I seemed like, you know, Ready Player 1 wasn't like hitting like that. You know what I'm saying? So we're going to keep that pushing. That's also be like realistic.

And then Francis Ford Coppola also came up. Oh my God, you're not doing. And you know, I think he might be a little strapped for cash. Yeah, right what I'm saying? He might need the job, but then he started going like, Wood Scorsese do it, but he's already, he's already been like mad about this kind of stuff. If I'm being like actually serious about it.

You probably get like an action director. We talked about this in our last podcast, but the dude who did the extraction movies, I'm trying to, I'm forgetting his name. But it was Chris, Chris Hemsworth. Chris Hemsworth action series. Yeah. That'll be Sam Hargraves.

I'm saying. You give him a big CCHI Dragon, have them animate some fight scenes. I'm saying, you get the fight choreographer from the first song movie. And you just like, I know it gets mystical, You know what I'm saying? You got to be like a big dragon with arms and legs and stuff that can fly, whatever.

But like just imagine a couple, you know, a couple like literally like just hands. That's it. Just like two dudes exchange of hands. Good part of movie. You be there. You're going to be there. What's the title? Fing Fing Fing Fing Fung.

We ain't got to do. We ain't got to do. We ain't got to do too much. No subhead. No. Fing Fing Fing Fongi story. Like I don't know. From the world of Shang Chi.

It's going to Marvel Studios. Finn Fane Fum. Boom. We're in there. We could call it. at foom, but that seems like a lot. I like fume. That's crazy.

Hey, what's so? You gonna go see Fum? Y'all gonna go see Fing Fing Fong? I think when you say it too quickly, people are going to hear Tu Wong Fu. Thanks for a thing. Julie Newmark? Another great movie.

But I think it's just like, it's gotta be, it's all, okay, look here. Too long, Fing Fing Fing Foo. Am I buying it? 100% because of a dragon. But I also want to see a lot of that dragon. And if that dragon is mainly a human in the show,

in the movie. Interesting, right? We can mix it up. We can mix it up. There's going to be some dragon. There's going to be some hands. There's going to be some dragon. Give us some hands. Getting some hands?

Giving some hands? Just going to fight. See, y'all. Pause. Pause. Pause. Guys. Guys.

Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. Guys. He's on the list. He's on the list. He's on the list.

Freakazoid. That's you. Where's our freakazoid movie? A billion dollars. Okay. Billion dollars. I'll be there. Be there no matter what.

Steve, it's your turn. All right. A little quickie from me. Whoa. I love Bowser. I straight up love Bowser. The Super Mario movie hit. All right?

It was, that made it Billy, easy. And I think that we could easily do Bowser's Inside Story. Is anybody familiar with that game? No. Which one? Bowser's Inside Story. From the game Mario and Luigi Bowser's Inside Story. It's basically, you play as Bowser,

and he is infected with like this gun. virus that basically like you like he's like that controls him and he does good but he also like loses his agency and is like but like I don't want to cooperate or be nice to the coupas or anything like I'm a bad guy

and through both flashbacks and flash forward you get to learn he gets to learn about empathy he gets to learn about teamwork and resilience and treating everybody with respect and this isn't exactly the deconstruction

of Bowser, but what I want it to be is you get to learn a little bit more about why Bowser has a bit of a chip on his shoulder for the rest of his life. And maybe he still is misunderstood. Maybe he still gets a couple of things wrong. But I think that this is gangbusters. I think this is an easy home run to have. Get Jack Black back in the fold.

Get Keeke and Michael Key back his towed. All right? Get a couple of coupas in there. All right? Have them be played by some, by BT. or whatever. Get the box office in for international. Yeah, see, you're not being serious. I'm being very serious.

BTS is going to come and do the Bowser movie for, like, brother. The thing is that's, that's immediate bill. It's an immediate bill. Yeah, but like. I need, I want to take no chances. This is a race to a billion dollars. Is it stunt casting or do you have- Of course it's stun casting.

Nah, but see, that's not going to fill them because you're going to get them into the theater. No, literally what I'm making right now is I'm making despicable me, all right? Bowser is grew And the Coupas are the minions Yes So we have a Cupa BTSCONCONCONCONC We have the Coupas doing Fun shenanigans

All right But then we also get to learn About Bowser's inside story You learn about Papa Bowser All right And all of Bowser's illegitimate children Oh my God All right

Which he definitely has Oh they're all That's canon It's canon Bowser Jr Bowser Jr The other ones Yeah all the other ones

that not even he knows the names of. I think this is great. I think this is an easy, easy sell. Jess, you don't seem convinced. You're thinking very hard. I'm convinced. It's more so I'm thinking, which is not what we should be doing.

I'm comparing it to your first one. Okay. And I will say, and we might need to edit this out. I don't know. Was it you that mentioned once you put Jack Black on something,

you kind of don't want to watch it anymore? I'm souring on Jack Black. Because it was after the Minecraft, yeah. The actor. I think voiceover and I think when the project is right for him, yes, he is not a de facto answer

to something, but he was also cast in Super Mario Brothers movie. And I think he was good at him. He was great in that. He was good in Bowser. I think it was great. He was a great Bowser. Pitches, peaches, peaches, peaches. I love you. Yeah. It's good. It's fun.

Fun. And the crowd goes mild. Here's the thing. Here's the thing, man. I'm still stuck on a BTS thing, my brother. So it's just like a... No, this is, and this was a one-off bit. Like, they're not, like, pivotal to the story.

That's what I'm saying. This is just, like, one of the novelty scenes of, like, everybody's come together and we're happy. And then it's like dance time. And then it's the next... This is the tie-in, like, Justin Timberlake song that you had in the Troll movie. It's like the Farrell joint, like,

which, by the way... I'm just gonna be on a little... The Lego Farrell movie? And open with you guys right now. That double-life song he made for Dispicable Me For? It goes crazy. Is it better than happy? Who will we be tonight?

That's the question. Who will group be tonight? That's the question. Is it better than happy, though? I like it better than happy. I'm a listen to Happy in 30 years. Really? Yeah, bro.

Because that was everywhere. It was everywhere. And I was like, y'all got it. And then that was enough for me. I think, I see the vision. I mean, again, he was great as Bowser in the Super Mario Brothers movie. And so it'd be interesting to see what it looks like where it's him at the the center of it.

Uh-huh. I do, it's going to be, I think, like, the funny, what's going to be interesting to see

is if people, like, catch on to Bowser, like they did, Gru and the Minions, because they made a thousand movies. That's true. They,

like, it's literally, well, and then the minions made, like, three movies. Yeah, if they want to print a billion dollars,

illuminations, just like, hey, let's make another despicable me and or, Menians movie. Let's just do that. And boom, you've got 1.5 billion in your pocket. So I wonder if it would be the same boon for them as it is. I'm going to be the same boon for them.

But yeah, man, it's interesting. I mean, it's a good villain. You know, a classic video game villain. This episode is brought to you by Nass Energy. Every ounce of dirt, sweat, and gears, every checkered flag and trophy raised, every lap, every race, every hard-bought place. They're all jammed inside every can of Nass energy. High performance energy for burning the midnight oil in the garage and pedal to the metal human horsepower for the streets. Go ahead. Crack

open a can of Noss energy and get after it. Jess. Where are you at? Jess. My first pitch was better, is it going to be better than my second pitch. And the second pitch I will run through because I wrote it down and then I was

like, I'm not feeling it. I'm not even feeling it. I'm going to pitch you guys on a movie. I'm not even feeling. No one laugh. No one laugh at this. I'm serious. I'm dead-ass serious about this right. Nobody laughed.

It's a Warner Brothers. Warner Brothers picture movie. Right. Is he going to make a bill? Maybe. Perhaps. Hey, listen, we're Warren Brothers. We need it.

We're taking all covers. One Washington. We got political movies, correct? Yes. And I don't, and this is out of my wheelhouse because I love horror movies, but this is a political drama. We have Lincoln.

Oh. We have Vice. We have the Harvey Milk Story. And the next big picture one. Oh, my God. Is going to be Satan. Now, imagine. The actual devil.

The actual devil. Now, why would you need politics? Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Here we go. Jess. Jess. What?

You already lost the black demographic, right? No, no, no. You already lost all the black viewers. You and me. You and me. I'm here. I'm here. Let's go.

Let's go. Satan. Let's go. What? You have me on board. You look at me. I don't think I have you. You're pitching to me.

Yes, I do. I don't think I have you. I promise you. You gotta bring me back. I promise you. I don't think you're back. Jessica Clemens, I promise you, I don't think I have you.

I don't think I have you. That's fine if I don't have you. Because the movie is ridiculous. Because it's about to go from a normal. It could have been, it could have been the most grounded thing in the world. Uh-huh. But knowing Jessica Clemens, I couldn't have it do that.

So Satan's been on earth this entire time, correct? He's been here forever, right? Sure. He's been working political. Used to be an angel. Used to be an angel. Is he a lobbyist? I would say he's more like a lawyer for the White House.

One of the many lawyers for the White House. He works for the Attorney General. I don't want to get too specific. Just random politician. A random politician. There's a lawyer for the White House. Not necessarily the mayor of New York City. The apocalypse is happening.

And some people are being lifted and some people are not. The rapture? Yes, thank you. The rapture is happening. The rapture's happening. Some people are getting picked up and some people are not. And he has to now come front everybody as being Satan and he is lawyering to get people to heaven.

Lawyering to get people to heaven. Hot. So. Or get, yes, to get people to heaven. This is a Satan that is also questioning whether like the free will part of heaven versus hell. And I don't want to get too deepened. Okay, wait a minute.

No, hold on. I don't want to get too deepness. Hold on. I don't want to get too deepness. I like this. Okay, so you're talking about a Satan that is like, okay, so I've been living my entire existence, waiting for the rapture. So the reaping of souls can happen.

Yes. And now that it's here and that we've seen what humanity's wrought upon themselves and the choices that, you know, the divine has given them, maybe I didn't want this. Yes. And I think he's trying to get people to both heaven. And he's trying to also make heaven feel as, this is very deep. I understand, as though hell could be. He went to hell in the first place to create a place.

It's like, I gave everybody here freedom. I gave everybody free will. Look at what they've done to it. That's what hell is. So he's trying to get heaven to also follow the same code. Also, you have a lot of lore behind this, okay? There have been infinite portrayals of the devil. Across all media.

Like Sandman, you have the fucking Peter Stormair and Constantine. You have like amazing portrayals. What do you think this devil is like? Because there's been like personality quirks. There have been a lot of things like, I will write the script and I will allow whoever the director to make their judgment. I love a good old Southern lawyer for the devil, but I also... Wong & Goggins would be a great devil.

Okay, now we might be cooking here. Would be a great devil. I did not pitch Walton Goggins, but I'm going to erase mine and put Juan Goggins. Because I also think the devil still has to be charming in a way. And Wong Goggins is that, but I think one that will steal people's hearts is Chris Evans. I hear... All right. I wanted Chris Evans to play the devil.

be Satan. The thing is you can make him Satan because Satan is just the most bland normal person is the most like and when I say but it's just like a natural man that if he could create his own like what I want to make on earth he'd be like yeah I just want brown hair

brown eyes and it's nice face. I can't I can't abide that I think that like he has to be if Satan is one thing and I will give credit for this he is interesting Chris Evans isn't interesting not by comparison to Walton Goggins Walton God.

Okay, so we'll make him Walton Goggin. Yeah. It's directed by Ron Howard. Now, wait a minute. Now, now we're... Apollo 13, Ron Howard or solo? Ron Howard. Yeah, there are two different...

There are two different Ron Howard. I wanted as dramatic as possible. We're Lord and Miller also fired from this before Ron Howard directed at now? God damn. God damn. I didn't bring that part up. That's tough. That's tough.

No, okay. Here's my main appeal, all right? As my, like, if you're pitching this to me, I want book talk. I want the book reading girlies to be like, okay, we've got the hot evil one who's having a change of heart.

What's going to be the foil for him? Which woman that he... Not necessarily. That he spanks on the regular. No, it's more of like... I think he's just going to be hot naturally. That will be Walton Goggins. If it's just Walton Goggins talking and doing things,

it's like, man. People were thirsty for the ghoul and fallout. So anything could happen. I was. Really? I was. Yeah. Yeah, they were. It's about the sauce.

I said this out loud. I was like, I'm also into Cadbane. So I think it's just people with different color skin that's like blue or red. Just going crazy. So anything's always Aldana's ever done? Oh, 100%. Okay, great. Green?

Absolutely. 100%. Sign me up. Rang a red shirt and Star Trek, I guess. It's not the same. I like this. I genuinely, I think there's a lot of legs here. more of the number one villain if not Satan.

The original. The OG villain. I feel you, but in terms of making some money, it's a tough sell. How does Passion of the Christ make so much money? Yeah, but that's different. You know the difference. You know that difference.

You know the difference. Let's not dive into that. You know the difference. The Bible is not showing up. Black people aren't showing up. Black people will because it's written by Jessica Clemmy. They're not showing up. They're not showing up.

What's the title of the movie? It's called satan. Some pronounce it's satan. Spelled the same way. It's spelled the same way. Potatoes, tomatoes, whatever the hell. All right. Now that you've named it satan, what R&B group is going to also come out with a single in a tie-in for this movie?

And then Walton Goggins. Okay, Walton Goggins. Who's singing for Walton Goggins? Oh, oh, who's that country singer out right now? He's like... Shibuzi? No, not Shibuzi. Maybe Shaboozy

What's his song? No, he's a A cup of whiskey Is he the one of the face tattoos? No Oh, you're talking about jiggly or whatever his name is? Gigli? Post Malone?

No, not Post Malone. I know what he was on? Jelly roll. Jelly roll. Is he, Disney do country? I don't know. I've just seen him around. He does jelly roll would be good.

I said jiggly. Gigly is crazy. Gigley feels offensive and I'm so sorry. Gigli. His name is jelly puff. Well, or because he jiggled. But... Stop.

He's a big boy. He's a big boy. But yeah, no, yeah, I've been told Jelly Roll is popular. The Settlers of Satan? Oh, that'd be good. Oh, that'd be good. And some people are just settling down on earth. Yeah, well, it's...

Wow, you know. Jomi gets a credit on the movie. Make sure that's written down. There you go. No. Jomey is... No. Associated credits.

And put a photo next to the... No. It's like Ouichie board are my favorite. Yeah. All right, Jomi. Let's bring this home. Let's bring it home. okay

this is a movie from Satan it's a ton excuse you this is a movie this is a deep movie that explores how you can get

from the highest of highest the lows to lows right how you can have everything and still have nothing how you can be the man but also but also

but also not be a person at all okay this is the wall of will you Biffed it Biffed it We're back

We're kicked out We're back This is a story Waluigi Yeah Baby I'm in it I'm in it

I'm in it A man who does not get enough shine So here's the thing about Waluigi For those who are not locked in Wallowice You don't know anything about Waluigi His backstory Like the games

Specifically are just like Who cares about Waluigi Who knows But we do know One specific thing about Waluigi and they said it on multiple occasions, right? The game's director,

Mike Englehart, said that Waluigi, his character is about blaming others. Right? And Charles Marnier has also said that the cornerstone of Wallyge's personality is one of self-pity.

A character who feels that everything goes right for everybody except for himself. Okay? And so imagine, if you will, a pro tennis star. Hasn't really won anything yet, but is rising up the ranks. I love that it's tennis.

It has to be tennis. Well, because his first, his first appearance was in... Oh, was the tennis one? Yeah. Oh, that's crazy. I loved the tennis game. I didn't even know that was...

It was in Mario Tennis, right? So it was a right, he's got a family, he's got a wife, got a kid, a baby on the way. And for the, like, one of the first times in his life, he's just playing,

he's just doing his thing. He's focused on his family. Focus on his career. He's doing the right thing. Challenger's soundtrack. Boom, don't. Well, so here's the thing.

That was my first thought, but I was like, that's too on my nose. Okay, okay. You know what I'm saying? You have Princess Daisy as in Dea and then Luigi as Mike Faced or Mike Faust. And then Waluigi's Josh O'Connor, except that Daisy doesn't bang him at the end of the movie. Right. Yeah.

That's real. I like how you were watching Challenging her like, don't let her bang him. Josh, Josh O'Connor in that movie smells gross. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You could smell. You could smell him off the screen. A lot of sweat.

Because he's working really hard. Living in the car. Living in the car. You don't have, but he don't have to do that. Yeah. He's just doing that for the love of the game. Yeah.

What kind of sick man is like, actually? Figure out of this money. Actually, no, I can still shower for the love of the game, too. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Like, let's be for real. Y'all being so mean. What do you mean being so mean? Brother.

That's not your boyfriend? Brother, that's not your boyfriend? Rock in. I love Joshua. I like Josh O'Connor, too. I wish he would take a bath. Damn. Use some soap.

That's why they locked it. Here's the thing, right? I don't know how y'all Walmart be doing it now. But my Walmart got everything locked up, right? The deodorant, the toothpaste, everything. Yeah. Here's my thing, man. If something don't need to be locked up, it's deodorant.

People need that. All right. Please. Frankly, let them have it. If you stealing deodorant, I'm letting that slot. You need it. If you steal it, you definitely need it. You know what I'm saying?

What can? happen, it's people going out in the world smelling like trash, like garbage, like poo-poo. Okay. All right? Let them get some soap. So Waluigi is playing tennis for deodorant? He's playing tennis. He's making money.

He's not really winning, right? He doesn't want, he's not winning. But then he decides, hey, you know what? I'm going to do it. I'm a cheat. He's going to. He's going to cheat. How are you going to cheat in tennis?

Don't take some performance enhancers here. You know, try to pay up some of magic mushroom. A little magic mushroom here. A little one-up. I'm saying, and it all falls apart. And instead of him taking responsibility for his actions, he pushes away his family, the people around him, until he's left with nothing.

And he's got to sit there and be like, yo. And he never self-replexed. The thing about Wallyi is that he never internalizes his actions, so is somebody else's fault. So at the end of the movie, he's just, he's alone. He loses the house, loses his kids, loses his sponsorship, everything. Used to be Waugh, now it's

wah. Wai L'iouji time to nah, bro. And also, yeah, Wauigi is there any redemption? Is there anything good that happened? Oh, this is just a tragedy. This is a tragedy. This is a village,

Finn and origin story. Because, you know, whose father was? Drugs? It's that Mario Luigi. They did this to me. Oh, so it ends with, like, him looking up at the castle and, like, Mario and Pete just kicking

it being rich. He's like, that could be, that should be me. And he's out, he's down here in shambles. He's watching Louisiana Daisy, you know, hold hands and galavan across a freaking, uh, a garden. He's like, that should be me. He's played by

Bill Scarsgard. The person who can bring the well. Yeah, he's lanky. He's lanky and tall. That's, see, by the way, this isn't animated. This is just him in the purple overall. In the purple overalls. He's got the much ass all thing. We're not going to what we're not going to do is do the thing that like a lot of properties like to do now

where they like, they wait till less like 10 minutes a movie to give them the iconic costume. No I'm saying? Now he's been wearing that. He's been at the mustache. Could you like, he's been at the L on the hat?

Could you make it like, you know how like Disney bounding outfits are like kind of similar to it? Would you do like, yeah, when you dress up like. Explain bounding to the people at home who don't know what this is. Well it's basically like if you're given an aerial

outfit you make do with like, oh, a green skirt and a blue top. Like it's similar but not completely. Because you can't do cosplay. You can't do. Park accurate cosplay because they will kick you out. Yes. Okay, so bounding is basically just like

get the color scheme right. Could you do that with... I'm innocent about it. Waluigi. Easy. Relax. Settled down, Tiger. Jesus Christ.

It's not even the first of October. Relax. Regard. God. Really, honestly, I'm disgusted. I know we're not kingshaming, but we need to bring back shame. You know what? Yeah, bring back shame. Bring back shame.

Bring back bullying. It was a layup of sorry. Either way. Tiske. Could you put him in not, not like a, I'm not saying I disagree with the giant purple overalls.

Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. But could you make something similar to like, out of like a pants suit that he could win?

Oh, man. He's like the first, like he opens up. He's having like a big party for himself. So he's just like purple suit. Or like a car heart with a yellow tie.

Like all, like cover all. Yeah. I mean, I think, I think you do have to go. It wouldn't be like this, right? Because this is like beetle juicy.

No, but you'd go with the yellow tie. With the yellow tie. Okay. It's like this little pinstripe suit. Oh, okay. A pinstripe, purple, beetle juicy. Yeah.

Well, I was only, I was thinking if you're bound, but then it's like when he's playing tennis, would he be in different clothes? Yeah, you mean, he'd be wearing purple? What if he's wearing the same suit? That's just, that's a true villain origin story. That's wonderful. I love this story.

I love a villain origin story for Waluigi, and I like that you chose Waluigi over Wario because Wario is still pretty like open out there. Well, and that should make it more villainous is being like my own brother or whatever Wario is to me is doing better than me. I like that. And I like a tennis, and I love a tennis game.

So this is A plus. I'm there. I'm here for it. I'm very into it. Even if, like, you had to fan, like, get the resources yourself to, like, make, like, an indie project of this. I would, yeah, crowdfunded. I would watch the hell out of that. We get nine-inch nails to reunite for the soundtrack.

I will not be in it. I know. We'll bring him out on stage five seconds and stand. Brother, that lighting show was crazy, bro. Yeah. I thought freak. I literally thought Jesus was coming back. I'm not lying to you.

That was the coolest thing they did all night. And you remembered it. And you remembered it. But it was for nine-inch nails to stand there. And say nothing. But you remember it. It literally could have been two, it could have been literally two people off the street. It could have been mannequins.

But again, y'all remembered it. Yeah, because it was loud. And it was a laser show. Striving nine-inch nails into the screen. We just wanted people to talk about it. We didn't care. Sean Arias, man. Nine-inch nails.

D-23 was wild. And we were so exhausted. It was an exhaustive. Were you exhausted by the time the nine-inch nails part happened, so then it just made it worse. Oh, my God. And that was only like hour two or three. Oh, my God.

What did they end on? What did they finish? They end on Mufasa. Oh, my God. That's so funny. That's so hard for you guys. I'm so sorry. Hey, we had a great time.

Love to go again. Truly. And when Blaine, like, do another trick. That was crazy. Here's the thing, though. Bufasa comes about the same day as a Sonic 3. Yeah. I know what I'm

I'm afraid Mufasa is going to get packed up I know what I'm watching I'm afraid Mufasa is getting packed up I don't I have no I have no interest in seeing that Mufasa movie See that's another villain It's not a Mufus it's a

I guess it is a Mufasa movie That's another It's not really a villain movie But it's yeah right It's like guys I don't really I don't care I don't care about Mufa like that I got to be honest with you

He's just Simba's dad And we don't need the Scar origin story. But there was a scar. We don't need to make both. No, here's the thing. Yeah. We don't need to make Scar and Mufasa

Optimus and Megatron. We don't. Or Charles Xavier and Magneto. We already got it from the first movie. We don't need a battling ideology here. All right. Sometimes people just don't like people. Yeah, they're going to try to make me feel bad for Scar.

That's not where I'm at. No. I'm not that woke. He was the bad guy in the movie. I could say Megatron. was right, and that could be fine. Scar was right. Scar was right.

He just wanted some land and was willing to kill his family. Here's the thing. Well, if they never treated him like that in the first fucking place, and then put him in the dark parts. They do call him Scar. That's kind of crazy. You got to get your ones back for that. You know what I'm saying?

But lean in. Lean in, I'm saying. Nah, but okay, if I started, if we just called you white. Damn, that's your villain origin story. That's true. Hey, what's going on white? I mean, we're like two degrees away from that on Midnight Boy.

Kind of, but what if we just abandoned Steve altogether? to the point where you even know his name. It was like white. My body just like is, what's his name again? I think, well, he's white and he has tacos in his pocket. Yeah. But now then it just becomes my body. White taco pocket, man.

I've got like a bandolier of tacos. I would be a villain if someone call me white Taco Boy man or whatever. White Taco Boy, that's crazy. That's tough. That's nuts. You know what I'm saying? That's it for me, white Taco Boy. And that's it for the rest of us here in Mint Edition.

Thank you again to Jess. Clemens for hanging out with us. I can't believe you keep coming back for this. Yeah, dude, anytime you guys do pitches, I love pitches. I love a good pitch. You guys are great with pitches. We love piping. We love pitching. We love doing the whole thing. But when I say, I want to get bound, that's crazy.

You said I know something about bounding or something like that. You didn't say I want to be bound. Either way, it's both bad. No, no. When Jomi does it, it's bad. When I say it's nice and funny. That's racism. Well, that's racism. The white man can be freaky, but the black man

can be freaky? that's crazy. You guys frowned upon my Satan movie. Satan. I smiled upon your Satan. I smile to put on your Satan. I love me some chicken Satan every once in a while. Yeah.

Oh, he's cooking chicken Satan. He's got to run a restaurant at one point. Yeah, if it's, oh, if it's Walton Goggins. He's running a restaurant. He was trying to figure out what career he wanted to do and one was being a chef in Georgia. If Satan runs a restaurant, you know that food is. Maybe. Change the plot.

It's spicy. It's hot. Change the plot. In Georgia, it's Walton Goggins as Satan, but he runs a great, a great restaurant. A gray little, like, southern restaurant. I would go there. I would. Oh, my God.

Everyone's like, oh, this place has the best. And it's like, oh, yeah. And it's this little shack. They'd be like, and like, come to Satan's kitchen. The food is to die for it. To die. The food is heavenly. And it's in quotation.

But it's not a Michelin Star. It's like a couple pitchforks. Yeah, exactly. The food here is heavenly. And it is. Right? Instead of a fork, right? He's got this literally like hell's kitchen.

Yeah. Oh, that's fine. See, you guys, Satan is a great idea. All right. Well, tell us what you would like to see in Satan on the Ringerverse and the Ringiverse feeds. Tell us where they can be found, Jomey. They can be found on Twitter, on Instagram, and on TikTok at Ringiverse.

Guys, we're almost at 40K on IG, you know. So tell your friends, tell your family, tell your mama and your daddy. If you got all them burners, use them and follow us. We've got a lot of fun stuff coming. Thank you guys for listening and subscribing. Good. Awesome. Yes.

And don't forget, tomorrow, the House of Our We're going to be. going to give you their deep dive on the rings of power finale. And on Friday, the Midnight Boys are going to react to Joker Follyadieu. Also on Friday, House of Our is going to give you their latest deep dive on to Agatha all along. We are produced by the great Jonathan Kerman with additional production from Marjuna Ramgo Pal. Thank you again, Jess, for putting up with this absolute nonsense and tomfoolery,

but you also give it, and it's great. We love having you. Yeah, anytime. You can't wait to have you back. Thank you all for listening. We enjoy it. Jomi, do you have any parting words. Always do.

Shout out to Jess. Thank you again for coming. We love having you on. You're one of us for real. Steve, my guy, great podcast. He killed it. Shout to everybody who's listening. Love you guys.

Give a shout out to our trumpet producer. Carmela Harris. That's great. I think we're sticking with that for a minute. Carmel Harris? Now, he's got my vote. He got my vote for sure. Exactly.

And we will see you guys next time. Out with the old, in with the new. Skies for gray. Hello, skies are blue. So fast forward, fast forward. Fabulous. Fabulous. All things fabulous.

It's from high school musical two, everybody. Because Sharpay's not a villain. We can't make a Sharpay villain movie. She is a villain. She is a villain, but she'll have been a movie, though, so you can't do that. Shout off Sharpay. Bye, everybody. What's the difference between butter and butter made from real California dairy?

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