The Ringer-Verse - The Whitest Movies Draft | The Midnight Boys

Episode Date: September 12, 2024

The Boys are here to draft the whitest movies of all time, divided into six categories: superhero, comedy, action, sci-fi, Oscar, and wild card (04:24). Hosts: Van Lathan, Charles Holmes, Jomi Adeniran, and Steve Ahlman Producers: Aleya Zenieris, Jonathan Kermah, and Steve Ahlman Additional Production Support: Arjuna Ramgopal Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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problems may occur. Before treatment, get checked for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms, or need a vaccine. Explore what's possible. Ask your doctor about Tramphia today. Call 1-800-526-7736 to learn more or visit Trimfairadio.com. This episode is brought to you by WeatherTech. Everyone knows winter is the MVP and making a mess. You don't need WeatherTech floor liners in the summer unless you hit the beach or go camping. Then you'd want a cargo liner. Or a road trip goes sideways, ketchup goes rogue, ice cream drips.

Yeah, you'd be pretty happy about those WeatherTech seat protectors. So just to be clear as the mud, you're inevitably going to step into the summer. You don't need WeatherTech unless you plan on doing summer. Visit weathertech.com today. Welcome! Into the Ringerverse. This is, of course, the Ringer's nexus podcast for the for all things, fandom, we are. Jeremy explaining to dinner on you. You've got questions. He's got

answers. We are. Steve, the architect Almond, welcome back. Welcome back. Great to be back. Our Clark Ken is back. Missed you, buddy. Missed you too. Where did your adventures take you? It took me to Chicago. Sex Clubs? Yes. I bet you did. Right off the bat. Right off the bat. Great to be back.

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This Friday, House of R continues their rings of power deep dive I've been shitting on rings of power consistently and then the numbers came out and the shit is going crazy people are liking this season a lot actually people are going it's going up

yes it actually is like my buddy who is like was really down on the first season he's like reluctantly watching the second and he's like okay this is actually kind of cooking right now oh he's fucking with it yeah what's his name? His name is JT JT yeah okay he's white

yes yeah see there you go um so I'm supposed to next week Agatha returns. Oh shit. All right. Be for real. Okay. Oh, my God. All right, bro. Next week,

Acatha returns. Bro, let me tell you something. Have some shape. Let me tell you what happened. Brough, oh my lord, bro. In, what was it, 2020 or 2021? It was 2021. In 2021, something happened and it was magnificent and magnanimous. It was... Play stop to care.

Wanda Vision. A show that changed superhero television forever. And from WandaVision, came one transcended character that we have been waiting with baited breath for the return of for years. It has undergone different titles,

different showrunners, different, whatever. But now she's here. Agatha is back and we're bringing her to you on the ring of hers fucking A. You can tell the vibe-ass just hit, Bray. He's vibing right now. He's vibing right now.

But on today's show, We're doing our most problematic draft to date, the whitest movie draft. Charles tells us why we're doing this. Because we had literally an idea like a month ago discussing what are the whitest movies of all time. We're like, we should do an episode on it. And there's no content out there.

Yeah. So that's why we're doing the latest movie. Yeah. Chuck keeps a real with you guys at all times. Yeah, we don't have anything else. We are scraping the bottom. Hey, we're making this fun. And I'll be honest with you.

I mean, there's an argument to be made that even with that there's still be no content to talk about power right. But we won't. Real emotions came out right there. Agatha, nigger. That should actually be the, hold on. Is that one of the titles? Is that one great title?

Agatha. Niggins. Hold on, hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Of all the titles they went through, they didn't try that one. I can't imagine why. That one would have really got people going just,

Agatha, comma, nigger. Or niggas with a Z. Agatha, niggas. All right, we're doing the whitest movies of all time. Drafts. It's going to be very fun. Spoiler for all white people and white adjacent movies. These are the whitest movies that have ever, that have ever existed.

We're going to draft them. Spoiler for the white people adjacent movie draft. Steve now. Okay. We're getting ready to talk about white people. You're listening to a reaction podcast. The spoilers are. coming.

Charles, what makes a white movie? A white movie, white. When I was preparing for this just in terms of the draft, I have two criteria. I think the most important, does the movie teach you something intrinsically about whiteness, what it means to be white, whether there's white family, white brotherhood, white love, whatever. Like, what does this movie, like, we were talking about it before, Steve brought this up. if you put another race, if you put a black person in this movie, would it fundamentally change the movie?

Yeah, that was one of mine. That's the most important. And then I think the second, also important, does this movie, is it beloved by a section of white people so much that sometimes it's a little bit like, hey, yo, you're freaking me out a little bit. You know? Like, it has to still be a white movie, but I think one that's on the bubble, I don't know if anybody's going to pick it.

I love this movie. White people love fucking a little too much. It is not a white movie, but it is a movie where I'm just like, when you go on a college campus, you're like... You shouldn't have mentioned it. I don't know why you did. Piss me off.

Why? I thought it was off the table. Why would it be off the table? I don't know if it's a white movie. Well, that's the thing. We can all explain the reasons and logic why we think that that can be a white movie. And by the way...

Just bleep out the movie that I said. Okay. That's a great way to do. great way to do it. And I think I want to like mention a slight caveat is like when I, like, if, if I'm picking something like, I don't want to think. Don't get too involved. I know. But it's like it's like, I'm not saying that. It's not saying that only, I'm not saying that like these movies that we're going to pick are like only for white people or like can predominantly be enjoyed by white people or something like that. I think it's more of the fact that like something intrinsic about it feels certainly white. Yeah. Yeah. So I got, I'm kind of along the same lines as Charles's thing, but I will add one other thing. One other thing, the first thing that I went was just how many white people in the movie? What's the white saturation? Like, what

white, how many white people do you have in this movie? Because there are certain movies that I went back and watched them, and there's just no black people in the movie. Then, that made me think about Charles. The second point was a very good point. And to what Steve also said as well, these are not movies that only white people can enjoy because a lot of these movies... Some of these are a lot of people.

You love. Second one is, if you change it, and you make the white movie, somebody in the movie, white people in movie black, does a movie still work? And that's not so much work, just like change or is very different? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Does the movie work?

Okay. Because there are some movies that if you put black people in them, it just breaks. They just don't work. Okay. Okay. The movie just, it doesn't work. Okay.

All right. Jummi, what about you? What do you think? Well, my thought process was kind of along the lines of Charles's first one, which is like, do white people love this movie, right? When you talk to somebody, I went to, you know, PWI, right? So when I talk to people, like, man, I love so-and-so, which I'm like, brother, you're speaking a different language.

I never seen that movie before. I don't know what you mean. So that type of energy. When you go to the posters on the wall, what they really mess with, that type of vibe was where in my head was at going into the... What was the one time that the white boys got you to indulge in something? And you was like, God damn, this shit is fire. Will we see any of those on the board today?

Oh, we are going to see some. Because a couple of times, and I remember in high school, it's like, hey, Mystical Bowers class, we're going to be watching this at lunch. And I'm like, I don't know if I feel like, why would I hang out on a lunch period and watch movies with child now?

Van, this is part of movie club. You said you went to the movie club and then you watch it. And that shit is fire. And then this would be, like, part of my thing was bringing these movies back to the homies. Okay.

Because it had to pass... A cultural exchange program. Yes. It had to pass the Ryan test. It had to pass the E.N. test. It had to pass the geno test. I put the homies on Seinfeld. I was telling you...

You put the homies on Seinfeld? I'm like, yo, Seinfeld is funny. And they're like, there's no way. I'm like, bro, I'm telling you, bro. By the way, this was like... This was like 97. Oh, really? Okay.

Like, bro, this was like a lot. I'm like, bro, Sanfeld is funny. We got to college, 98, 99. We was on that Seinfeld, bro. Honestly, what? Because here's the thing. Mine are going to be like, I don't know if there's a D-Cup,

like that, like, white hot American summer type shit. That's what I'm talking about. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's the shit. I'm like, oh, these white people cook. Oh, bro.

That was the movie. That was a movie. Right. I'm telling you, stuff like that. Because there's other ones, bro, some of the Albert Brooks stuff, that's so white.

But that shit is crazy good. It's so white. Like, it's so fucking white. Also some white movies where I'm like, dog, My whole board could be this shit, but I'm like, I can't pick a Woody Allen movie for this shit. Ah, Zah, da-da-da-da-da-da. So we got to get the draft order.

All right, right, right, right, right. All right, let's go over the rules real quick. All right, why this movie draft? We get six picks. The categories are superhero comedy, action, sci-fi, Oscar, Wildcard. As always, we go in snake draft order. Kerm, can you please tell us who was? going first second third fourth so first pick

in the drafts today because he gave me a ride to LAX one time is my guy Joe me wow that's like the biggest thing that favor that you can do in LA yeah that's real that's real love right there so that's the first overall pick second pick you know it's time

to give my guy a break you know this seems like the draft where he's got to be last he doesn't have to go last he's got to be last I get to choose no no no no no no no no you don't have that type of autonomy this is my You don't have that time of my home game? You don't have that type of it. This is my one home game.

No, Steve can't go. He's got to be last. He's got to be last. You got to go last, guys. He's got to go last. I'm not going to argue. Charles, you get the second pick. Thank you.

All right. All right. Third pick will be van because whatever. And fourth pick, Steve, you will go forth. Thank you, sir. You got the turn. This is a big deal with. Turn is important.

Turn is important. All right. Who's running a draft? Carm, you run it. All right. All right. So, Jommies first. This is, this is tough. If you get the full board, I want to, I mean, you could take the white movie off the board,

but it just feels like there's a lot going on. You know what? I think I'm going to go, this might be a Jordan LaForge, but I really don't have any other, any other thoughts on this one. I'm going to go sci-fi, my first pick. I'm going to go from 19. 1968. Planet of the Apes.

Oh, wow. Oh. I wasn't expect. That's a good pick. That's a very, but here's the thing. We're going to, for this draft,

we need a little bit more explanation about it. To you, what makes Planning the Apes one of the whitest sci-fi movies of all time? The entire cast is white. Everybody in the movie is white.

And then you have the apes of it all. And there's, there you go. We are. on some bullshit. I knew it. What those? Show me. Would you have rather

the apes have been people of color? In 1968? Absolutely not. So, do you think that the original Planet of the Apes is some type of commentary about black people taking over the world? I'm going to say it is not. Hey, listen, media is subjective.

It's whatever you want it to be. You know what I'm saying? And I'm sure going to the theater, remember, 68, you know, maybe they had them laws gone by then, but maybe not. Some people had to go sit in the back at the theater. You know what I'm saying? God damn. It's kind of crazy.

That's all I'm saying. You got to think about it. Sitting in the back for Planet of the Aps is crazy. Nuts. Nuts. And that shit happened in New York. Come on. You know what I'm saying?

Like a dystopian New York where it's tough. All right. Good pick. I like that. It's a good pick. All right. So I'm going to go action. And for this,

I just have to go with a fight club. Love. Fight Club. Wow. That's pretty white. Fight Club is like a good movie. Love it. Yeah.

But first time I watched Fight Club, it, like, have you ever watched a movie where you just understood a certain type of white man just instantly better the moment you watched it? Like, when I went, I watched it in, like, middle school. I went back, I'm like, damn, that's why y'all a little off. Yeah. You know? And the worst part is that it keeps getting misinterpreted as this, like,

terrible hero narrative when it's absolutely not. That's what makes a lot of white movies, white movies, where it's just like the director, especially a white director

would be like, nah, that's not what the movie's about, that's not what the movie's about. And then you got the insales being like, oh damn, this was speaking to me.

They were speaking to my heart. So, Fight Club is up there. Fight Club is a really, really inspired pick. It's also about the white man versus the white Uber man. Yeah.

Well, yeah. The bright thing within us all. The idea of the white. Yeah. Right, right. The right Uber, you know, you know, it's like, it's got a lot of things to it. That's a great thing. What's going on.

What's going on. Okay, it's my turn. I'm going to pick what I think personally is the widest movie of all time. Okay. And I'm going Oscar. Oh, okay. For my, I'm going Rocky. Rocky.

Oh, this is controversial. Yeah, you got to explain that one. This is controversial. You're not wrong, but this is. I hear you, but, I mean, this is, and this is talking about maybe before the show, people, everybody loves Rocky. Let me tell you why. There's Rocky.

Okay, so let me tell what Rocky is about. Okay. So first of all, the inspiration of Rocky is white. Yes. Yeah. Like Stallone saw Ali fight a guy named Chuck Weppner. And when he was watching Ali fight a guy named Chuck Weppner, you have Ali, the greatest fighter of all time. Beating up on someone who just won't give up, right?

We'll just keep coming. Ali, the greatest boxer of all time. blackest boxer of all time. Just beating up on somebody and he goes, I'm inspired to write a movie about that guy. Rocky is essentially a character who his defining

talent is whiteness. That is his defining talent. Rocky is the whitest movie of all time because you have Rocky versus Apollo Creed. Apollo Creed is by every metric better than Rocky. He is

more experienced. experienced than Rocky at fighting at that level. He is athletically superior to Rocky. He is mentally in the ring superior to Rocky. The only thing that makes Rocky unbeatable is his whiteness. He just has this spirit, this otherworldliness. So why wouldn't it be Rocky 2 when they jumped the ship? They like, Rocky wins this time.

Because Rocky 2 was a reaction to Rocky 1. To Rocky 1. Yeah. And they were off to the races. Seriously. And then as things went on, you got to a point to where they was like, hey man, can we like make Apollo Rocky's fucking sidekick? Yeah.

The greatest boxer of all time. Make him Rocky's sidekick. And then they kill him off. Yeah. So look, the movie doesn't have to be all white. There's a statement being made. Eddie Murphy has a great bit on how white guys was coming out of the Rocky theater.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Like trying to challenge black dudes to a fight. Because Rocky fucked up Apollo Creed, and he really won the first fight. Or it was a draw, right? Yeah. So when I look at it, there's sometimes this strength of the human spirit stuff

that black characters don't get in these movies. It's not like Apollo Creed, who came from the fucking streets of Philadelphia. He was broke fucking two, but it didn't matter because Rocky had that thing inside of him. That dog. That dog. You can't even...

It's like... You're breaking the ribs. It's otherworldly. It's... You beat on a man and he just won't stop coming. And he's like, da, da, da, da, da, da. And then he wins. Yeah.

You got to get something in this life. Mick loves you. This explains so much about your hate for Nicoliyokic. Well, yeah. Can I ask this? Trying for the human spirit shit. He's dunk the ball. He actually, but he's different, though.

Nicola Yokickech is kind of Apollo Greek. What? Because Apollo Creek was the most skilled. The hate on, I got to apologize to all the fans of the ringer. All right. I can take accountability for a lot of different things. You've surrendered now. I can take, no, no, it's not even surrender.

It's acknowledgement. Okay. I can take accountability for a lot of things. I tell a lot of stories. All of my stories are true, but only 80% of them. Okay. What? 60% of the time.

I get it. No, no, no, no. I get that. I hear you. Every story is true, but only 80% of the story is true. Okay. The other 20 is for your entertainment. Yeah.

All right. Another thing is, Yokic is just a bad motherfucker. And if you're hating on Yokic, because you got that little, I'm working on myself too. He's not, he's not Rocky.

He's Apollo. Can I ask this? This is one of my favorite sports movies. I don't want to stare at you. Okay. Chill on my boy. Chill on my boy. He's getting beaten.

Is Creed technically a white savior movie? Ooh. Because I love Creed, but now that I'm thinking about it, you know, Michael B. Jordan got to go back to the white man to like basically train him up. The only problem is he was already saved by his black mom. And he's just getting extra saving. Extra saving. Extra.

Yeah. So you're saying for a white savior movie, He had a black woman savior. And then he was just trying to be a boxer and getting his headbeat and he had nobody else to train him because nobody. He went to the black people first, but they wouldn't train them. So I don't know. Maybe it's a small-ass white savior movie.

What? What's the lowercase? Lowercase white savior. Lower case. That's actually good. That's actually good. So I would say Rocky. I got Rocky as being the whitest movie I've ever seen.

There's a tribute to whiteness. No, whoa. There are going to be other. A lot of game left. A lot of game. Got you. Got you. Got you got you.

All right. Steve, you got two picks. Steve, you got two picks. Pressure's on now. All right, I think for action, I think I'm going to take, like, probably the whitest, like, blue-blooded, red-blooded American movie

that I could probably think of from the 80s. And that's Top Gun. That's pretty good. It's a good white movie. I don't think anybody else, like Tom Cruise, can sell a, like, just dot-da-da-da-da-American hero white man than that. And I think with even

the iteration of Top Gun Maverick, it's the exact same sentiment over again, and it still works. They didn't let Mandy Cook. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, no, they didn't. Jay Ellis is also in that shit, Shouty. Yeah, they had Jayette.

But see, if they were doing Top Gun now, when they did Top Gun Maverick, but let's say they were doing the first movie now, they would have to have like an old black guy in there that learned how to fly from a Tuskegee Airman. Right, right, right. Like, he flew those, like, bi-packing.

Oh, right. Hold on wait. This is what, this is, this is what Hollywood you do. Hollywood, I can woke your movies. Just like if you want to make, if you. Oh, man, woke that movie. Let's do it. I can woke your movie.

If you want to make Top Gun now and you want to make it a little woke, you have an old black guy in there. Because you know, like, in Rudy? I don't know if one of the I was going to pick Rudy. It saw the list. Oh, okay. I want to talk about this. But like, you know how, like, you have a, like, Maverick loser.

his fucking mojo or whatever. And then there's a black janitor in the fucking top gun program. Some like bagger fans type of like magical. Yeah, just listen, this is how you woke it and you, because when you woke it, you still got to make white people feel good about them. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he goes, hey, you don't want to quit. Why? I quit. The Tuskegee Airman is the janitor? You learn from the Tuskegee Airman. I was the best pilot in 1971. I got three patches for dog fighting for mechanical. We got patches for the most top gun shit done.

By let racism force me out of this. And now a janitor here just so I could smell the fumes. And then he turns back around and it's a ghost. And he didn't know. No. I don't know. No, brice. He's not a...

I don't know a janitor be of like a decorated airman. But why do you got to be a ghost? They killed the nigger. They killed the nigger. Can black man live? I just killed a non-existent black man for no reason. No, he can't be alive. No, what is not?

Let's move on. I can woke your movie, Hollywood. Woke that movie. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Is the hardest category comedy? I feel like the hardest category comedy.

That's the easiest. That's the deepest. That bench is deep. You thought hardest is and it's hard to pick, like, the pick. No, you can, I don't know. can go wrong. I don't think you can go wrong. I know I can't go wrong. Man. Okay, I think for comedy, there's nothing that this director can't do. That's like inherently white, but I think the whitest movie that this man has done. For comedy, I'm picking Wes Anderson's The Royal Tenen Bounds.

Damn, that was on my list. It is. It was on my list. First of all, it's brilliant. I love that movie. It's incredibly funny and good. But, Kerm, you don't know how to smell. Bonds. Say it again. Say it again. I want to just put the Royal T's a call to the day, bro. The Royal T's it is. There we go.

Do you know my only issue with this pick is? What? He has wider movies, I feel. I don't think so. I just think that like, Oh, bro, I think there's, there's an entire. No, there's an entire.

Yes. Generation, like, Chris Ryan Fentacy's generation of New York who saw this movie and like was just, Like activated. Okay. I think the one before it is wider, though. Okay.

Well, if any more tendon bombs. Rushmore. Oh, Rushmore. I think Rushmore is wider. Fair. I think that's a fair pick. But I think that that level of like affluent New York with both the soundtrack and I particularly Gene Hackman's character is like really like like some incredibly like old money, New York

wealth that, like, again, is kind of being played with for the most part of that movie to, like, amazing effect. It's like a really great movie. And he's talking crazy to Danny Glover in that movie. But it, I think that it's probably, again, you can split hairs as to what is the whitest movie in West Henderson's catalog, but to me it's that one. I also think that movie is probably a top five depiction of crazy white families. Like, that's like one of my favorite.

It's like, pre-success. genres of like, this white family is crazy. The only reason why I would say it's a great pick. The only reason why I say he's gone wider before is because at that point, he did try to diversify a little bit. You know what I'm saying? He did. He threw Danny Glover in that bitch.

But also he was like if Teen Hackman is just like, you want to talk. You could call the Darjeeling Unlimited Whiter just because. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think he's gone whiter. But like, you know what I'm saying? I think he's going wider, but that's a great pick. It's a good pick. Yeah.

you're up next. Oh, I'm up next. Yep, it's you. I'm in a tough situation here because, you know what? I know that this movie is going to be available to me later on, because there's one I really want to pick that's very, very white.

What should I go with here? Go with your gut, man. So I'm going to go sci-fi. Okay. Back to the future. Okay. Back to the future. I mean, okay, so obvious reasons as to why.

Let me tell you why back to the, let me tell you why back to the future is white. Right. Okay. There's other movies I could have gone with here. Yes. But I'll tell you why Back to the Future is White. There's one scene in Back to the Future that makes Back to the Future one of the widest movies ever. Okay.

So Back to the Future is about white people with white problems. We're going back. Your family's not doing well enough. You want to be a rock and roll star, the whole thing. Not a lot of black people in this movie, right? Yeah. The one black person that's in the movie is guys in the second thing in the movie. But there's one scene back to the future.

Marty McFly plays. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. This is a scene that never fucking flies into. It's so wild. It's so wild. And one of the black guys in the band is Chuck Barry's cousin.

He hears Marty McFly playing Johnny McFly. playing Johnny Be Good and he goes to the guy and says, hey you know that new sound you're looking for? Listen to this. Martin McFly invented rock and roll.

That's so egregious. That's so egregious. I remember, bro, rest and peace. My daddy would be like, I like this movie except for that one goddamn part. We can't have nothing. The whole movie is really, not really getting in black people's face that much.

It's the 50s. There's no racism, right? We don't see, like, it is, I guess, gloss over that. We gloss over that. It's the 50s. We don't see, it would be one thing if Marty would have got actually hit by a car and the car with some black people in it. And then after that, they took the black people

and they fucking lynch him because that's how I would have gone. Oh, God. But remember those the same with the mayor? He's, like, cleaning the diner. And they're like, he's going to be mayor. Yeah, I'll be mayor. Yeah. That might be back to a future too.

Maybe. Oh, no, no, no, no. Is it? That might be back to the future, too, where that happens. But anyway, and so all of this, we gloss over it, and that's fine. That's extremely white to pretend like racism in the 50s is glossed over and all of that. But we're cool to stay out of it. Yeah.

We'll stay out of back to the future. It's not that kind of movie. It's not that kind of movie. It's not about that. Even though there's terrorism fucking stereotypes and this stuff. We'll stay out of it. We'll stay out of the movie. But here's the thing.

You could, I could argue, make Marty McFly Black. If you made Marty McFly Black, that movie makes absolutely zero sense. What are you fucking talking about? If you're a black man and you go back in time, in time. If you make Mighty, the movie makes absolutely zero sense. Oh, we're waiting for you here, nigger. Like, you know what I'm saying? Imagine a new black man show up in 1955.

A new black man shows up in the. town? Well, if they did, my name is Calvin. If they did black to the future and everybody was black, I have to ask this question. If Marty McFly went back in time and saw that his mom had a fat ass, do you think he would hit?

Jesus Christ. I don't think the answer has got to be done. No fucking way. It's probably not. I was very upsetting. Nah. Marty wasn't even wrestling with that idea in the movie. First of all, and this is another thing that's funny about this,

if you're a black person with a time machine, you have all different types of priority. You can't just think about yourself. What, wait, what's that you're in a black person with a time machine? You got to think bigger. Yeah. You got to think, you got to. I'm not going back before, like, the 90s is my cutoff.

Nah, dog. If I'm a black person with a time machine, I'm hitching a trailer to that bitch. What? Some shit in the trailer. I'm going back and arming some people. Oh, so you're like, you got an hashback on the bimorium. I'm, I got to at least warn somebody. Man's got to be like black witch and they're going to burn you immediately.

I got to bring back. I got that. I got to bring the blammer back. I got to do something. I got to try something. The only problem is. So you're back to the future killmonger, basically. Kind of.

And remember, Marty also went back to 1855. 1855. Right. Yeah. Didn't have that conversation. Helped no one. Yeah. Like, helped, like didn't help at all.

Didn't lift the finger. Oh, boy. He helped his Irish. Right. Yeah. Had to invent the Frisbee. Right. So all I'm saying is when I look at the movie,

you know, the fact that the movie, hey, I'm disconnected from back to the future. It's fine. We can, whatever, white story, it's fine. But that moment that Marty took credit for inventing rock and roll, a cultural invention of black Americans, I'm like, nah, so I'm white, this is white.

This is white. So it becomes a white fantasy at that point. You guys aren't ready for this, I'm going to love it. Okay. Oh, man. All right. Where am I going to go next?

A lot of options. You know what? I'm going to go superhero because I think superhero is actually the one that's a little bit. I'm probably going to be ending up stretching the definition of superhero coming up to end of this.

I'm going to pick a movie that I love. This is a movie that I'm like, this is what I want to see white people do. I'm picking Scott Dober. That's a white. That's a white. That's a white movie. You know what I'm saying?

saying it's a perfect time period of like, pitchfork, hipsters. I don't know that it's a superhero movie, but it's definitely white. You don't think so? I mean, yeah, it's right. I don't know that it's a comic book movie. Yeah, I think we can, I think we could stretch that definition. That's definitely. I love it.

That's a good thing. You know what I'm saying? Because it's just like, when I first saw that movie, I'm just like, these are like, this is a great collection of white people. Michael Sarah, I would argue as a top five white boy just in terms of like, what you think of what a white boy is. That was peak, yeah. It's peak Michael Sarah.

You got Chris Evans in that bitch. You know what I'm saying? Even this goes back to kind of what we were talking about earlier. You can't do Scott Pilgrim if Scott is black. No, it doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. Also, it takes place in Canada.

You know, it's Canadian stuff. Well, you could. Drake, could be Scott Pilgrim. Could be. What else we got? Who's the name? Oh, my God. Who's next thing?

I got two. Okay. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go Oscar. I think this is one of the most egregious films to ever get best picture we've ever seen recently. It's just Green Book. Yeah, that was more that had it in there. Vigo Morgs and solved racism, guys. All of those movies, yeah.

Clap it up for Vigal Morton's. It's tough. Shout up, rehearsal. You got an Oscar for that? you know what I'm saying he did what he had to do. I used to watch the movie. I can't, bro. I've seen a couple scenes.

I'm like, I'm good. I can't. For my soul, I just can't. You got to just watch the fried chicken part. That actually, that's a little. That actually. And they were in writing it, filming it, editing it. They're like, this is going to get them.

It's actually wild because, like, Green Book has its own problems, obviously. But, like, a lot of movies that end up winning Best Picture, in my opinion, we really don't run back like that a lot. Even as, even as good as they are. Like, I'll mention a couple, like, when I get to my eye. Oscar thing, but like, do we really run back, like, movies that, like, really got best picture? Let's think about the best picture ones that we run back.

What are best picture? Did there would be blood win best picture, or was it no country for old men? It was no country for old men. Okay, so that one gets run back. Both of those get run back. Like, is anybody rewatching Nomad Land? Oh, dog, no. No.

I haven't rewatched Birdman. Oh, Birdman's great, but I haven't watched it. You're right. Argo's a, Argo's a, Argo's no. Argo's like, if it's on T&C or on the plane, you might watch Argo. What else? Chicago, no. No.

You're watching a king speech? We're always running back Gladiator, of course. But, like, I haven't rewatch Shakespeare in love in a minute. I've never seen that. I've never seen Shakespeare in Love for TV. Yeah. But, like, yeah, it feels like it's like this fleet, like fleeting, like, leaf on the wind type of phenomenon where, like, it's hot for, like,

the three months that it's about to get nominated and then we never talk about it. Well, this is why, this is why Bill, I can't remember where he said or where he wrote it, but was like, we should do the Oscars, like, five years later, right? Yeah, yeah, reassess them for like what needed to be there. After five years and go, like, what was the actual movie from that year that meant something? That's the dumbest shit I ever fucking heard of before in my life.

I didn't say that. Hey, man, what you're coming in? I didn't say that. But, like, yeah, but like, it's making a meritocracy out of a moment that was five years prior rather than like, hey, what did we mess with right now? Yeah, but I mean, like, but it's a time capsule. Yeah, yeah, you have to, right. You know, what the fuck?

Why are you mad at me? So, so, my question, my question is, how many passes does a black actor get for agreeing to be in a white savor movie? You know what I'm saying? Like Viola Davis. It's a right of passage. It's a right of passage. The only person that I can think of that hasn't done it is Denzel.

So there was a movie. Denzel's never been in a white savior movie? No. You might be right. Maybe Cry Freedom. But in Cry Freedom, he plays Steve Biko. So he's kind of the savior of that movie. There was a movie called Love Field

that Denzel was offered the lead in. But he did not take the movie because of the romantic relationship between the lead character in that film and Michelle Pfeiffer's character. That's what people say. Because he didn't want to kind of do that. Then Dennis Haysbert ended up taking the movie

and the movie ended up being what it is. I do not think that Denzel has ever done a movie that could be considered a white savior movie. I could be wrong. Maybe the hurricane? Hurricane Godd. Because the hurricane is a movie where the people from the Innocence Project or whatever it is come to save the hurricane,

but it's still not really one of them. Not really. I have a hard person. He's never been driving, he's never driven Miss Daisy. He's never been to Green Book God. Not that I can think of. Now, there are people out there that are looking through his whole thing right now. It might be able, but I can't think

he's never bagged for Vance. You know, like he's never, I can't think of him actually ever done that. But you know what? This isn't a White Savior movie. I watched it. I didn't enjoy it. You know what movie where I'm just like, this actor was probably right for dropping out? You needed actually a new actor? Rebel Ridge. I feel like

we would have cooked Oiga if he was in that movie. I still got to see that. I honestly think this about Rebel Ridge and I cannot prove this. I honestly think they had Aaron Pierce in mind the whole time. they really wanted. Aaron Pierce was one of the guys they wanted.

I think John Boyega got that role because he's just a much bigger name. Yeah. And they wanted to sell the movie, right? And Aaron Pierce is much better for that part. And they cast him so fast, it made me wonder if John Boyega only got the role. John Boyega is a fantastic actor.

He's an amazing actor. I'm not taking anything away from John Boyega. But Aaron Pierce did such a good job, and they cast him so fast. It made me think that it really came down to maybe those couple of guys, and they went with Boyega because he... But you mean, you need someone who can... Aaron is more of a physical action star...

He's just so much better for the role, yeah. And Boyega, I feel like, is tipping that movie into more dramatic territory, and that's not what that movie needs. He probably could have delivered, but the role seems written for Aaron Pierce, who I'm convinced can play Batman. All right, man. I'm sweating on, right, man. And I like the movie, but you talk about people who can't be played by black people.

Batman is. There was a really bad take that I've heard on the internet. We got to invent a whole new universe. We got to change everything. Have you heard of the take that like the only reason that Batman has a cow from here is to prove to the cops that he's white? Yeah, I heard that before. I know.

I heard your people came up with that. It's me again. So I have a movie in mind. I just don't know what category to take it in. I got options. I think I'm going to go wild card just so I can keep my options open later. I'm going to go with Wolf of Wall Street. It's pretty white.

Okay. Really? It's in the, it's in the vein of white guys love this movie. True, true. Yeah, yeah. Love this movie. It's a good movie.

I love it too. Sure. It's a good movie. But again, it came out 2013. I was, bro, and this is going to, I'm going to stitch on myself. You know how many, you know how like we all have like a, songs we listened to in college. We go, man, that was a good time, man. You know, like for me, there's like Future, the Drake album that came out in 2014, 2015, the collab joint. What a time

to be alive. Yeah, what a time to be alive. Pretty much all of futures run from like 2014 to 2017. Me, there's a song. There's a song called Jordan Belfort that got played at the white people parties. That still means something to me to this day. I hear it. Is that just nostalgia right there? She's like, man, college is crazy. You know, because of this movie. So Wolfram Wall Street has to, it's got to be on there for me. Yeah. It's a big one.

This is a good pick. It's a good pick. It's a good pick. All right. So I'm going to be quick about this one for Oscar. This movie, I could tell it was a different time because they showed me this movie twice in high school and this would get teachers canceled now. In Oscar, I'm picking the blind side, which is one of the most agree.

Yeah. It's a white saver dress. It's a white school. It's top. Five, just. Capital W. Capital S. Just.

Yeah. Kerm, do you think blindside is one word? And it's the blind side. No, it's the blind side. Come on, Kerm. We're not doing this. We're not going to. All right, Kerm.

You want me to rewrite it? No, no, no. Just take your job a little bit more seriously. It's weird, Kerm. It's weird that you lobby for it, but then you don't really want to do it. Would you be? I'll ask you this. Before we

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Say it with me, the active cash credit card from Wells Fargo, be a 2%er. Learn more at Wells Fargo.com forward slash active cash terms of play. If someone offered you $10 million, would you allow them to blindside your life? Like, you're going to have a hit movie that's going to win Oscars,

but the most important, let's say, black mentor in your life is replaced. Would you really wrong? No, because I can't. I can't do it. It'll be one thing if you said. But the most important black mentor of my life,

I can't do that. If the shit had really happened, if they have been, like, you know. I know. Not my mentor. Just white mentor. They're going to make a movie about your life. That I would do because like for 10 million. Because I have had when I was like there are different people in my life and some of them have meant a lot to me.

And there are a couple of them that are white. Just you know what I mean? That meant a lot to me growing up and stuff like that. But there's going to be a scene where they visit you in Bat, Rouge. They have. We're in the hood. and they bring us some bread and chicken or something. And then Will Ferrell is, it's Will Ferrell from the A-Train.

For 10 million, I'll probably, I'll probably do that movie. I'm not going to butcher it. But I wouldn't change the race, but if they would say, hey, man, I want to do this with you and this person and whatever, whatever, I'll probably be, I'll probably do it. You know what I mean? Have you been on the other side of a blind side? Have you helped the young black youth taking them out of the hoods to you in Chicago? Yeah, after he fucked their mom.

What to, all right, so I need to. Honestly, I'm going to be honest. If you were in King Vaughn's life earlier, it's your fault. So that's my, that's my, you were in the street of Chicago. How many, how many drill rappers have you taken in?

Wow, that's not many. How many drill rappers can you name? Top five drill rappers. Go. Okay. Okay. Name is me Drew rappers. It's Vaughn.

Okay. And then, um, oh, God. Oh, uh, 22 G's. I don't even know who that fucking is. Ooh, Steve. I don't know what that dick. Ooh.

Deep in the duffles. Deep in the duffles. I never heard. I've never heard of that. Who's 22 G's? He's from New York. He did the, you know it from that.

Oh, Chicago drill. Oh, Chicago drill. I mean, okay. I mean Chicago drill got you name. Okay. Do it now? I can't get to five. You can't get to five?

I gave you 22 Gs. Is that not enough? That does count. I don't know what that is. But like five drill rappers. Go. Chicago. You leaving out the fucking biggest drill rapper ever.

Yeah. So we got, you know, I don't know if he was like technically drill or not. All right. Okay. Well, we'll move on. All right, man. No, no, no.

This is how they're trying to do. They try to rewrite history. It's fine. It's unfair to Steve to continue to have the conversation because he obviously doesn't know what the fuck he's talking. No, I don't. Right. So right.

Obviously I don't. That's what I'm saying. So right. So, like, he's un-initiated in this. Be asking Jomey about punk music and something like that. That's fair. No, he's right. All right.

So, you know, if he doesn't know. Okay, who's up next? You're up next. Oh, me. Okay. Wildcard time. I'm saving my superhero pick for last because I got a little. curveball there. Wildcar time.

This is a movie. I'm trying not to pick biopics because some people have white lives. Some people might. Some people have white lives. You have white lives and so a bio pick is kind of unfair. The whiteness is baked in. This movie is so deeply

white. It takes place in Boston. Okay? Came out 1997. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Goodwill hunting. Yeah. That's some good white. This is, this is not your fault.

First of all, first of all, one of the whitest movies ever. Yeah. Get together, white genius living in Southie. Bruh. You know what I'm saying? Like, white genius living in South. That's where they keep them all. Brow, let me tell you something.

If Will hunting was DeWill Jenkins, when he was writing on that board, all you would have heard was the shots. Boom, bum, bum. Why did you shoot? I don't know what he was doing. Johnson, he looked like he was stealing the chalk from the board. That Negro.

And then they're looking like, God damn, he solved. Hey, erase that. Like, wiped the prints off your guns. There's no fucking way. How do you like them, Apple? You know what I'm saying? It's like...

No, here's the thing that... They would like... How do you like them Apple scene? They're fighting. Oh, yeah. It's... You kidding? They finally are they fighting.

Everybody else come out to bar to also beat his ass. Right, yeah. Bro, there are so many times they would have given up on Will prior to that. Will would have been giving up on so many times. No, Robin Williams would never get up on anybody.

Nah, he would have known, bro. Robin Williams don't got no black kinds. Hold on for a second. Come on, bro. And here's the part. That Robin Williams' character is like amazing, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't want to know that character too much.

Okay. The character, yes. Yeah, you don't want to know that character too much. You don't want to go through his Twitter history. No, no, no, no. You don't ruin a good thing. You don't want to know what he did. that night after he met his wife in South Boston

is not a place to where you want to dig into. They're great. In their white world, they're great. We don't want to know too much about him. Right. Okay, I'm sure he's great and whatever like that.

But when I look at that movie, I'm like, that's another fight club type movie. Yeah. That's another. I love Goodwill hunting, though. I love that movie. But also, Ben Affleck's character has said that.

Like, yeah, for sure. Yeah. You know? Like, they were beating up people for no reason because they were in the fifth grade with them and stuff. Bro, a couple niggas caught them hands, so think, okay, and this is not to bring up old shit.

I know people are going to say don't bring up old shit. Think about even like the cool white boys from Boston. Think about like a Mark Wahlberg. And then look into his history. Oh, yeah, you don't know. Not a cool. Do a Wikipedia research. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.

Not a cool white boy now, but we thought he was a cool white boy. And then he's super not. And then we go back and we see so. Are you James Earl Jonesing him? All right, I think. Well, RIP to James Earl Jones. I don't want to talk about all of that stuff. Y'all can talk about it.

Shout out to Mark Wahlberg. He changed his life, the whole thing. Friends with Jimmy Butler now. Yeah, I don't know if Jimmy knows. Would Jimmy care? Jimmy probably wouldn't care. But all I'm saying is like, when you look at this, that movie is probably the epitome.

Right. This is a good big. Yeah. Ooh, you already put Rocky in Oscar because I would be like, Goodwill Hunter is really awesome. Yeah, yeah, but I wanted to do it Wildcar. Oscar, I had to go with Rocky. Had to go in Rocky.

Okay. I like that. All right. What else we got? I think it's me. Yeah. You got two picks. I got two.

All right. So my science fiction pick, this is where I'm going to kind of talk about the hubris of white people because I think that no. What you got to tell us about the hubris of white people? The premise of this movie, I think, can only be executed by a fictitious white billionaire character. The only type of people that thinks resurrecting dinosaurs is a good idea. is an eccentric white man. I love this. And I think Jurassic Park is a very white movie.

I love this. Black people ain't going to Jurassic Park. Nobody thinks that, like, resurrection dinosaurs is a good idea. Like, five times. Can't believe he got this far without being drafted, to be honest with it. Science fiction. Yeah, science fiction. I love this.

It's an inspired pick. I think... We did it five times. What is the thing, right? You got to cut them slack on the first time. Right? No, no, no, no. We're going to, like, look, I grew up loving dinosaurs, right?

So on my head, I'm like, yo, bringing dinosaurs back, that would be kind of cool. Once they start killing the first couple of people. Yeah, but it is. But this is where the whole FBI versus. I need you to stop. I'm just saying. I need you to stop.

African. So there are different things. This is where to hold. This is where the break is. Well, Jomey is saying that he would. So. Cut him some slack for the first couple times. Let me just say something real quick.

Let me just say something real quick. There's a diaspora of black people. Can't do this. We can't. There's a diaspora. This is not where I thought we'd go when I picked Jurassic There are cultural differences in within that diaspora. Okay.

Jomi is saying that he will want dinosaurs to come back. There's no black American that would ever say that. Okay. Like, I just got to be, there's no black American that would ever say that they want to. I'm pretty sure there are people listening right now who would be like, hey, man,

it would be cool to see a dinosaur. Then once they start eating people in the first movie. If you bring back dinosaurs, they're going to eat you. Yes. Yeah. Right. And so that's why,

that's why to his point, after like the first time you're like, all right, we got to cut it. No, there is no first time. If you say, if I'm, okay, say I'm a capital investor and my guy comes to me, he's just like, I should be bringing back dinosaurs and I have found the marrow of the, in the mosquito.

No DNA. No expense. And no. Do you know what? I'm not giving you my money. For me, do you know what rule a lot of the black people that I grew up with follow what they live their life by? And we got to get out of this, but it's a true thing.

We live life by one rule in South Baton Rouge. And that rule is what could go wrong? Yeah. Right? And so, like, that's what we've been taught. Like, what could go wrong? And why do you don't live by that rule? No.

And that's exactly the thing. And that's not the thing is, what could go wrong? Hey, you want to go bungee jumping? Yeah, it could be fun. But what could go wrong? Yeah. Hey, you want to go hang gliding? Yeah, it could be fun.

These are really way. And it's, you know what I'm saying? You want to go, you want to, like, put on a backpack and, like, traips around the Australian outback from. like 10 days. That might be awesome. What could happen though? Yeah. Because whatever bad happens, it happens to us. For sure.

So when we're sitting around with the dinosaurs, we're going to be like, it would be dope to go to see a dinosaur and it would be a little rush of adrenaline. But how could that get fucked up? Yeah. And that could be a dinosaur stomping through Compton, eat niggas. Van Lathan. What, that movie.

Woke in that movie would be tough. It would be, that's a tough one. Woke Jurassic Park right now. Okay, woke Jurassic Park, like make a Jurassic Park for black people is what you're trying to say? Yes. Okay, so a Jurassic Park for black people, you'd have to make Hammond Black, right? Okay. Sure.

So then if you make Hammond Black, that changes the whole movie. Because that changes the dinosaurs, that changes everything. So that's the way you woke up. I know how you would do it. How would you do it? So what you would actually do is they're like gentrification is coming to Compton, right? And they're trying to enrich the community. So they're building a Jurassic Park in the community.

Oh. But they fuck it up. So the fucking dinosaurs escape. And now you got the bloods and the crips and everybody having to deal with all these dinosaurs. Wait, but that's not, wait, did they appropriate dinosaurs and turn them into weapons? The white people come in. They're like, guys. Wait, do we have turf wars with dinosaurs?

You got to band together. Wait, I'm sure I've told you guys about Black Hawk Dishound, right? Yes, you have. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've told you about Black Hawk Dishound, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I have. Definitely told you guys about Black Hawk Down, yeah. Right, where the plane crashes and then I told you guys and I was pitched when I was

I definitely told you guys about Black Hawk's. Yeah, I've heard this. I've heard. I've heard them about the, yeah, the people who haven't heard. Real short. Real short. And by the way, true story. Black Hawk Dissown. True story.

I was working at a production company one time, and there was a producer that had a movie that he wanted to do, and it was called Black Hawk Dizan. And what, Dizan was the name of it. Was he black police? So he was fucking white. And like, what this movie was about

was that a Black Hawk helicopter crashes in the hood. And when it crashes in the hood, the people in the hood use the weapons and all of the stuff from the Black Hawk helicopter to actually fight terrorists that want to come,

the people that shot the Black Hawk helicopter down. And the one Marine gets all types of people from the hood and they, but the way he pitched the movie to it, he's like, imagine there's a Black Hawk helicopter going over some black area, right? It gets shot down by terrorists. It crashes. All of the stuff that's inside the Black Hawk,

including the Marines, the people band together to fight the terrorists that's site down. And I'm like, okay, cool, cool, cool. It's like the name of the movie is Black Hawk Dizam. Oh, he saved that. For the end, of course. Okay. That's the task.

Serious or was this like a joke? That was a full fucking script. And it wasn't bad. Amazing. And it wasn't bad. Who is next? No, no, it's me. So I had Jurassic Park.

True story, by the way. Oscar is so tough for me. Because they can get wild or they can like okay no yeah I'm gonna go with okay so this this is one where I was just like I got very annoyed because it just felt so white to see and I don't personally like it but I know that it's kind of beloved and it was something that was like kind of like a really important movie to a lot of people in my life especially but like I can't not go for Oscar I'm picking La La Land. Oh, wow. I tried to watch this last night in preparation

and I made it five minutes in a moment. And I don't think I've ever seen a more, like, and I've only lived in L.A. for five years, but I can't think of a more like, like glossy, like, white-fied version of L.A. And Van, I know you love this movie. Fuck that. Desperately.

Yeah. I have a desperate, irrational love for the movie to where I think the movie actually cuts through race. What? Are you kidding me? I think the movie actually cuts a little race. So when Moonlight, Way brought a Moonlight, they're like, he was like.

Yeah, Moonlight, you actually won. God, dang. You think, you think, you think Law and should have won Best Picture. Oh, no. You think that one of the best picture. Wow, man. That thing sucks, bro.

That is a raucous take. Did you see what, um, I just, I just, I, why do you love La La La Land so much? You hate black queer people, man? First of all, Moonlight is a beautiful, amazing, transcended film.

And I love Moonlight. I really do. But white people dancing on the 405, that's more important. I like that song about a lot of West. I think La La Land should have won Best Picture. You want to know when I know this was the whitest movie, I could not finish it.

They're doing like the whole dance on the 4 or 5 or whatever, and they pop open the truck and his niggas doing bongos and I'm like, oh, yeah, right. That's a musical. I was like, yeah, it's a musical. I really, I think that La La La Land Custra to something that's very, I'm not going to wax poetic about it.

That's like, but the movie talks about like what you leverage for artistic greatness, what you gain, what you lose, what, like, what it means to come out to L.A. You mean Wiplash? No, what it means to come out. I mean, whiplash is, got the same guy did it.

What you gain, what you lose. He keeps going back to that same thing because that's what it's, I'm not going to go on a whole Nala Land thing. And I'm not calling it. If you want me to, no, no, no. By the way, it's a good pick. Yeah, no, and I'm not calling it. I'm like to detract from your perceived enjoyment

or lack of enjoyment from it. But when I watch it, I'm just like, the whitest thing about the movie and about whiplash is that these are films that have to do with a character's appreciation of jazz. And there are really not a lot of black people in it. So, and so, but at the same time, you know what I would say to that?

I would ask the question about contemporarily whether or not a lot of black people have abandoned jazz, whether or not I'm from New Orleans, I'm from Baton Rouge, I'm from South Louisiana, the birthplace of jazz. And what I would ask is whether or not we're upholding cultural loyalty or interest in jazz.

Be fair to push back, not to get on my like militant shit, but don't you think that that has a lot to do with like the first thing that they take out of black communities in our schools are the arts program. So you go to a white school, they got jazz class. Like I knew white kids who have been studying instruments since they were like, yay, hi.

And like in the hood, it's just like, don't, we barely can have the regular classes. You're not going to get a jazz class. You know what I'm saying? When you go to all these colleges or whatever, who can afford to? I grew up around great jazz musicians, John Gray and the Mike Foster Project and all of these people that were from Baton Rouge. I grew up in jazz. It's a big deal.

But like a lot of the times, I think when we talk about, you know, even like Harry Connick Jr. And different type of people that are from down there, the appreciation of jazz, it seems like there is something

that has eroded overall with it. And there are all the guys like Damien and other people like that. The most egregious scene in La La Land is when Ryan Gosson is sitting there and explaining jazz, right? It's just kind of, it doesn't rub me right?

But at the same time, it's like in the real world that's who would be explaining jazz right now like in a lot of different ways. I want to know what is one of the most racist but funny scenes recently watching collateral with Tom Cruise.

Oh yeah. He's like the black man. He's like he's going all about talking about jazz and he's like all right, and he's like wrong answer. I'm just like this is what a one person would do.

Did you? That's a great movie. Did you guys see JK Simmons came out and said that he thought Damien She said was black. It was black. He was doing the movie about

But he's a jazz nerd. So, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is off on a tangent, but speaking of bike greats, shout out, Dave, girl. That's the blackest thing I've ever seen a motherfucker do, bro. Like, goddamn, Joe.

Have a baby outside of wedlock. You think he called Dwayne Wade and be like, brother. Hey, I'm going to be honest with you. It's not. The only reason why it's not is because we ain't doing no notes out. If he was real, he would have said nothing.

Yeah. Like, we ain't doing no NOSAP. They must not have a pre-up. Because, like, I'm just doing it. Like, we ain't doing that. Wait, why didn't he's in trouble? He's in trouble. Why didn't he say anything at all?

Because he's in trouble for something. Somewhere behind the scenes. It must have been a situation where she came out and said, I will go to therapy, but go in front of the world and tell everyone who Dave Groll really is. And then he went out and did it. I mean, I just don't know why he would nut recklessly like that. You Dave Gap.

Not reckless. sleep. Bro, what the fuck are you doing, Dave, bro? Why are you so, you're so hurt that Dave girl did this? I mean, bro, I fucking love,

people, I only get into this because like, I mean, please, Wyoming. People, things happen. People fuck up. They make mistakes and stuff like that. But I just,

what I don't understand is like, the, I don't get the reckless nutting part of it. And all of these people, like, it's like, they're going to get pregnant. That's the way that it happens. That's the way that fate works. That's the way fate works? Yes. I don't understand if you're going to do that why you're having

unprotected sex and why you're just recklessly nutting like that. Can we come on with another phrase besides recklessly nutting? That's what it is. It's very appropriate. It's very appropriate. It is what it is. It's a nut that can cost you your entire life. I just like Tyree Hill. Like all it is, I just don't, I don't get it. I really don't understand. But look, Dave Groh lived the great. He could afford it. But that was a, that was a, I feel like it was weird. When you saw this, where you were like, damn.

I was like, Dave, why, bro? God damn it, Dave. And then Dave, he's an outstanding member of his community. He gives him back. I mean, look, people. He's a legend. You go, G. Like, people do things in life.

And there, and it's, I know how badly we want everybody to be perfect. They never made a mistake and all of that stuff like that. Stuff like that happens. But God. that was a bad moment for grow. No, it's, honestly,

I really was disappointed in a lot of people that, like, yes, it's fine to me, like, to look up to somebody because you admire their art

and stuff like that, but I, I just, I keep finding myself not wanting to put myself in a position where I'm disappointed by strangers,

that I, people that I don't know and will not know. I'm not disappointed. He's just, like, no, I know, but, like, a lot of people just,

like, like, if, like, yes, that is a thing that could diminish somebody in your eyes, but I'm like, I really want to,

like keep a healthy emotional distance from a lot of celebrities because I don't want to get caught up in being overly disappointed in somebody that I do not know. Who would disappoint you though? Who's your number one celebrity that would disappoint Steve the most? Willem Defoe, for sure. If something bad about that, I was like, yeah, I think kind of weird ass shit. What is wrong with you, Steve? That nigga definitely didn't done some fucked up shit. I don't want to know about it. His odd ass? He didn't definitely done some crazy shit. I think we put too much unfair pressure on Keanu Reeves. I think like,

Kiano a good guy though. Yeah, yeah. I mean, whatever. I think people, I think, wait,

what? What? Like, my Keanu would know. Bro, I think people are good and bad and life is crazy and complicated.

And you dig deep enough. You're going to find out something that you don't want to know. Exactly. I think, I think the lesson we all need to walk away from in this moment is don't nut recklessly. Don't nut recklessly.

La la land. Nut when intention. Yeah. All right. So where are we going there? So I just, I just went. So Ben, you're back?

All right, so I'm going comedy. Okay. What do I have left? I have action superior on comedy. I'm going comedy, and I'm going Simplicin, Seattle. Yeah, buddy. Yeah, buddy. Yeah, buddy.

Right, we get the first rom-com. It's good. It's good. Love that movie. Just dripping with whiteness. Okay, so let's look at a couple of different ways. Number one, no black people in the movie. Nope.

Okay. They fix that, and you've got mail. And you've got mail. They brought it back. They was like, look, we need like one nigger. Right. know is post bad boy era hip hop is post death row

and they just need one guy and so they threw Dave Chappelle in there so no black people in the movie Tom Hanks's his best friend There's just a couple of things in there It's so funny Piazza Piazza

So it's in Seattle notoriously white Right okay But the most white thing about it is the action of the plucky children Yeah man We have plucky children out of control in Sleep is in Seattle.

We have plucky children traveling by themselves cross country. We have plucky children getting in the business of their parents. We have plucky children calling into radio stations. We have plucky children. Putting business out on front street. Putting business out on front street. We have children in sleepiness in Seattle

breaking every single rule of a black childhood. If this was sleepless in Baltimore, the movie would have never ever got off Baltimore. Seriously, the movie would have never ever got off the ground because it would have been like, hey, mother, are you fucking, you crazy?

Telling all the people on the radio on my business. Get off the phone. Come here. I'm not going to lie. Hang up the phone. Come here. Boaty and Sleepless in Baltimore

would have been amazing. Bodie or Wallace? The same thing would have happened to Wallace except it would have been his mom. Right. Come here, Wallace. Come here. Walk up the stage.

Like, like, no, it's just another, it's like super white. And then it all works out. The fucking kid travels cross country by himself. To the top of the Empire State Building. And then Tom, Tom Hanks barely has any type of disdain for him.

He just looks at him like, oh my God, it worked out. We fell in love. Was this the origin of Vans hate for plucky children? Nah, man, it was before that. But, but it's, it's, I love the movie, by the way. Yeah. but it is dripping with whiteness

It can only be white The most, you know And it has Tom Cray Tom Hanks has like Transcended Race But Meg Ryan is the I don't know Tom Hanks

Tom Hanks He has to take responsibility for Chet Well I mean Does he? Okay respect First of all respect Colin Hanks

Colin Hanks But this is what I would say I would say the fact that Okay a couple of things about Tom Hanks The more he is from Oakland Okay

So what Chet What Chet is was going to come out in some kind of way. Interesting. Like, he is from Oakland. Uh-huh. So, like, the DNA inside of Tom Hanks, that was going to happen. Like, the least white, white people, to me, I'm not talking about from outside. Right.

The least white white people to me are white people that are from, like, the swamp in Louisiana. Okay. Because it's a weird thing. And they're white, white people that are from inside of Oakland. Not the suburbs, but inside of Oakland that are from there. You can't be from Oakland and be too white. I read that as like kids rebelling against who they think their parents are. And if your dad is America's dad, like what does that mean for the kid who is the kid of America's dad?

Complete opposite of the end of the spectrum. Yeah, it was like, what's the anti-Tom Hanks, Chet Hanks? Steve, I'm going to be honest. I'm going to need you to not let your kid listen to hip hop before like the age of like 14 to. to make sure. Because if you come out with like a low B rabbit, you don't have to talk about it. Wow.

Steve Kier probably going to be so crazy on the mic. Dad, that, that. I got a new rhyme. Okay. This shit is dope, nigga. All right. Let's hear it, son. Can you imagine Steve brought his kid open?

He's like, what's up, niggas? What's up, niggas? Hey, nigga. Hey, Uncle Jomey, give me a beat, motherfucker. Get the pen out. Who's up next? Who's up next? It's you.

Oh, it's me. Charles. Damn. All right. So we got, you know what? I'm going to go sci-fi. Okay.

And I got to be real. I got love for the movie, but my man, James Cameron, was going crazy. Yeah. You couldn't make Avatar today. Yeah.

Oh, I mean, you can. Avatar the way of water, but Avatar just. Avatar one. Yeah. Pretty right. It's not great. You go back to it.

White's favorite movie. Dance as wolves. Yeah. It's dance as wolves. Fern Gully. Yeah. Fern Gully is pretty. I like Fern Gully.

I like Fern Gully. I love it. To this day, puts the fear of God in me. Why? With the machine? I saw it in the fifth grade. I had to sleep right for weeks. That's not a bit.

That's not a joke. I don't mess with Fern Gulley. Was it the tree eating machine? Was that it? Hold on. I could have. Do I not remember Fern Gully? Exactly.

It's an animated movie. It's an animated movie. I know Fern Gully, but like, why would it scare you? It's bad. I have no. I saw it. No, it is, like, it is, it gets dark. Bro.

Really quick. I, like, you, like, my heart is racing right now. Frung Gurley, I have no idea. It's that movie you saw when you kid. It was like, well, I'm never sleeping right again. Thanks, film. I hate it. You know what film that was for me?

I enjoyed that episode you were on, Van. Beetlejuice fucking scared me as a kid. I just really watched. Beetlejuice was like a little. bit too much because it's like it's like funny and light now but watching that when you like five or six i was like god damn robin williams is the bat i don't it just i think all he's dope i'm not there for it i'm not there for the avatar avatar is it was man the hype but i'm around the first avatar was crazy because you know i wasn't like locked in like that uh it's like a film guy 2009 right

but everybody's like you got to go see i wadadnex man yeah i saw that shit like three times i love I loved them when it came out there. In theaters, it changed my life. For sure. I was in that thing. I was looking at Pandora. I was like, this is crazy. You know, they say entertaining me like, yeah, for sure.

Yeah, that makes sense. And then you go home, it's on T&T, you know, in like 2012. You're like, help. Actually, Avatar minute, man, let us lock in. And then you were asleep. That bitch is long, right? It's a long movie. I still fuck with Avatar.

That bitch is long, bro. Yeah. You know? Singing in theaters, definitely, though. Like even Waywater, you hated it. I thought it was cool. It looked good. It looks at Wells.

He'd be cooking in that theater, but. Get it out of here. So I got two. The first one's pretty simple. I'm going to go action. Boondock Saints. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm surprised it wasn't picked earlier. Boondock Sakes. The movie opens with the Drop Kik Murphys, you know, shipped up to Boston. Yep. That's all you got to say right there. That's definitely the white kick. college poster dorm room stuff too. That was one of the movies that they show.

I hate that movie. I was in the golden era of it. Yeah. I got to college in 98. What Boondock Saints is 2009, 97? Something like that. Would Boondock Saints come out? 99.

I'm in the golden age of it. You fucking seen Boodas? It's fucking badass, bro. Boondock Saints fucking Suicide Kings. Like, it is like I'm in the golden age of just going crazy over that movie. People were, I don't mind it, but it is. I can't, here's a thing, Defoe ain't giving two black kids that shot.

You know what I'm saying? Like, here's the thing. Boondock Saints is wild, because they kill some motherfuckers. They just walk into the police station. Everybody's like, hey, yo, the heroes. Hey, guys. I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

That movie's insane, bro. It's a nuts movie. This one, I got to see the reaction, frankly. Right? because I'm going to go comedy. I think this movie is pretty funny. It's satirical, right, in nature.

But I'm curious to think what you guys think. In comedy, American Psycho. Well, you can't do that in comedy. Yeah, you can. It's not comedy. It's so funny. Are you kidding me? I thought it was funny.

It's not a comedy. And like it's built as a satire, for sure. So when I watch it, again, I watched it way later. It's very, very, very white. It's very white. It's very white. I thought it was funny. It wasn't until later that I realized like, like, it's a satire obviously.

Yeah. That people were also asked, like, I'll be like, man, this is funny. This is pretty funny. I mean, I guess you could have any comedy. I would have any comedy. It's not really a comedy. I guess it's, I mean, it's a thriller or scary or like action packed. I'm not.

If you want to put it in comedy, I'm not going to stop you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe I was a little bit too. I was genuinely, I didn't get to see that until, because I was, that was also in, like, to me, like the college dorm room poster level of movie where I'm like, I was like, I was very late to see that movie. And I was like, oh, this movie is actually a lot smarter and more clever than I gave it credit for. Like, it's, it's got a lot to say.

And it's very funny about it. Read the book. Then went to read all of his books. The book has a lot to say. Yeah. And I guess the movie says the same thing, but it's just like a completely different experience from it. Ellis is a fantastic writer, if not for a widow,

but like the book has a lot to say. So actually, I love the movie. Yeah. Very white. Yeah, very white. Super duper white. Oh, they're worried about business cards. Come on there.

Like, that's a whole thing. You know what, to be honest with you, now that you say that, like I can actually see where the movie plays as a straight comedy to people. I never looked at it like that. Oh, yeah. That business cartoon is so funny to me where he's just like,

God. Oh, God. Look at it. Chris. Who's up now? All right, it's me. Chuck. I'm going to do comedy.

I'm in between two picks, but you know who, I'm going to take another West Anderson film. Okay. You know what I'm saying? I think he's the whitest director living. He's up there. I'm going to go Grand Budapest Hotel.

Oh. Interesting. The reason I'm going Grand Budapest. Hotel. I see it. I think that that is the moment where all white people got way too into Wes Anderson.

That one? No, when the aesthetic was like, when you watch that movie, you're like, oh, this is TikTok. This is a new generation of whiteness. Like that takes Wes Anderson from you know, like a director of the 90s, 2000s into, oh, no, he is

godfathered in. He is with Tim Burton as two of the whitest men living. And when I tell you, it is in Grand Budapest Hotel, I would make the argument is the movie that makes Wes Anderson like an industrial complex of whiteness. That actually is, that is an interesting time because

like if you go down the list of movies that he's done, like in order, it's like bottle rocket Rushmore, Royal Tendamount's Life Aquatic, Darjeeling Limit, Fantastic Mr. Fox, and then Moonrise Kingdom. Then Grand Budapest Hotel comes out and then it's like he's kind of parading himself. Yes.

about how Wes Anderson E. He gets. That's his most celebrated movie. It is. It's the first time that he's gotten, I think, an Oscar for that. It's the peak, and I would argue, probably his most watch movie?

I would, to your point, I think that's the movie, like the new generation of film bros are locked in on, and when they're like, we want to recreate the Wes Anderson aesthetic. It's just Grand Budapest.

That's it. Even though I do a beautiful movie, rush more in content. is more white. I love Rushmore. Love Rushmore. It's great. I love West Anderson.

I love West. I know. Rushmore is just so fucking amazing to me, man. I'm going to watch that today. He's so funny. When he's in the elevator with Bill Murray, he's like, you're in Vietnam? Yeah.

You're in the shit. I was in the shit. Is it on me? Yep. I'm going action. And I'm going Armageddon. Ooh. Nice.

I love it. Michael, I like this. Now, let me, once again, has to be overridden. Let me tell you why. Mostly white cast and a movie about drillers that they train to be astronauts. Drillers, not Chief Key. Like, drillers, exactly, not Chief.

There you go. Good job, Steve. Drillers that they train to be astronauts, right? So you take a white every man. and you then exalt him to superhuman form. Sure. That is the highest form of whiteness. True.

You take a white... Make him an astronaut. You take a white every man who's just good at his job. And then you basically say this guy's method, this guy's process, this guy's zeal, this guy's enthusiasm. He can save the world by drilling. I've never fucking missed the mark.

And if you put me on that goddamn ass, Asteroid. I'm going to hit the mark and then he sacrifices himself for. I'm talking about peak whiteness. I'm talking about, hey, this is a guy that drills in Texas, Oklahoma, some place like that, save the world, bringing the world, bringing the world's best deep archer. What do you do? You put a fucking cracker, firecracker in your hand, boom, burn your hand. You close your hand, boom, we bring up the world's. No, all this is bullshit. It's bullshit. It's all bullshit. But you know what's not? It's just straight up. belief in whiteness that you need to say a bunch of rag-tag motherfuckers can go to an asteroid.

They can only get one nigga to go with them. A bunch of rag-tag can go there and drill into the asteroid and do it. Every man, there's not any movies about some black dude that's like a gas station attendant. And then they come along and they go, we need someone that knows about 92 octane. You have to save the world, Jamal. It just doesn't exist. You guys hear on the audio commentary, Ben Affleck. Oh, but he's drunk.

Yeah. He's like, why can't, it's, why is it easier to teach oil drillers to be astronauts and it is to teach astronauts to be old dealers? And then Michael Bay is like, shut the hell of him. That is the correct. By the way, I don't agree with Michael Bay on most. That was the right answer. That's right.

That's right. That's not interesting the other way. All right, Steve, you got your last two picks. All right. That's two picks. We've got superhero and wild card. Okay. Superhero is tough for me because I genuinely, like,

there's two obvious picks for this. Yeah, but like that actually doesn't feel. Nah, I mean, yeah, not. That actually, that isn't that obvious to me. I feel like it is. If I'm thinking about what you're thinking about, then no. I don't want to do that.

Okay, then don't take it. I don't want to take it. I want to zag there. And this is where I actually want to stretch the definition. definition of a superhero because I think that like the whiteness, the character while like kind of like predating a guess

I guess the idea of superheroes but like it's a superhero of sorts. Yeah. It's my next Tom Cruise pick. Okay. Reacher. All right. Now no. No, I can't do it. Not can't. Is it not white enough or is it just not a superhero?

No, no, no. Come up. I'm not a superhero. I would, if you would put mission impossible there. Well, that was that was going to be the next one. Mission, no. No. No. He's a superhero mission problem. That would have been the next time. I don't like when we do that, though.

No? Okay. I mean, there's no comic like, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, right. You're not wrong, but. I don't want to be too rigid about it, though. Like, what, let's talk about this real quick, just for the future of the podcast.

Sure. Chuck, I'm serious. What makes a superhero to you? Is Ethan Hunt not a superhero? Is that kidding? No, no, no, no. I think he's superhero adjacent. He's an action star, a spy.

Like, he's in the spy genre. Right. He's in the, he's in the action genre. but when I think about superheroes or whatever, like even Scott Pilgrim was on the bubble, but Scott Pilgrim comes from comic books. Has powers. Has powers, comes from comic book elements,

something fantastical. They don't have to have powers, but they have to be like, what mission impossible comic books are y'all picking up? You know what I'm saying? You read the latest run? No, I think you're right. I think it's kind of in the same vein of Fats and Freer's movies

where like, you know. Like, we'll talk about him, but John Wick ain't a superhero. He does super heroic stuff. But that's martial arts, assassin. So can I at least talk about why I think that I picked Reacher in the form of superhero? Which, wait, the first one with Roseman Pike? Yes, yes.

I like that movie. I don't know. I don't care what you else. I think it's a deal. We put it on recently because we was watching because Rebel Ridge is essentially Black Reacher. Yeah. Yeah. And so, there's his name, Black Reacher.

Not Jack Reacher, but Black Reacher. And so we actually spun that bitch back. It's good. Yeah. I mean, the other guy is better as Jack Reacher. But, like, yeah, yeah. And, like, I, and it's kind of because I've been watching the Amazon Reacher where I'm like, no, this is kind of a superhero, like, esk thing. Because, like, there's a level of iconography that comes with the character.

There's a level of not, like, overt superpowers that come from him, but, like, the actual, like, ideal. It's kind of like, and again, I don't equate these two. But, like, the thing that makes Captain America special is his ideals and what actually makes him. good. And when I think... Right. But like, but when we think of the obvious choice of what's a white superhero movie, when we think of actually makes like Captain America that, like, that's actually not the thing that is white and it shouldn't be because the actual American ideal should be, like, transcend race. So just go ahead and pick Superman. And so that when I think of white superheroes, I actually think of Reacher because of the fact that it's like rather like embedded in a bit of like a southern militaristic, like,

traditional-esque value. Like, it's dicey. I get it. No, it's some Tom Clancy shit. All right, man. Hey, you gave it a shot? You gave it a shot, bro.

There was a lot of, those things are yapping. Sorry, bro. Sorry, bro. All right. Four out of ten yap sessions. I appreciate it, Steve. I yap a lot.

I can't get on nobody else for yapping. All right, then I'll probably go, I guess I'll do Captain America. Okay. I can do Captain America. I can settle for Captain America. The first one? The first one.

And the first one kind of sting. I'm going to hold. No, it's not. I'm a honest with you guys. There's an obvious one. No, no, no, I have a problem with this pick. Okay. Really?

Yeah. Because I think on the surface, Steve Rogers is really white-coated. But when you look deeper, and that's obviously he's not. That's honestly why I'm not even that comfortable with the pick. When you look on the surface, Steve Rogers is a very white-coated character,

but then when you look deeper, yeah, he's not. And truly this. movie? The first movie has, the first movie is basically it's him gaining, I mean, look, all the things like you're the best, but he's really just like a, to call Steve Rogers White is basically just saying like a good honest dude is basically white. And that's, and that's why I'm not entirely, yeah. That's why I'm not entirely comfortable with the big, like, there's nothing really

white about him. Because remember, think about it. We give Steve Rogers the boy, treatment, but he's really not. He's really, he's willing to buck against the law. If he feels like that's what he needs to do. Yeah, the white shit ever and also second. I don't know if that's white. I don't know if that's the way. That could be a soldier, the shit he does to fucking Falcon when they run in.

I'm like, why are you doing this, bro? Like, fucking Infinity War when he's fast. What you mean? What you mean the stuff that he does to Falcon? On the left. And they catch up, nigga, what the fuck? Like? Hold on.

Get the chicken. Wait, wait, wait, no, that's, that's black as shit. Hey, catch up, dog. Hey, I'm coming. Okay. All right. It's the blackest thing Captain America does in the entire MCU is run down to Chala in Infinity War. That's racist.

That's racist. But, yeah. We've been through that. In Africa. Yeah. In Africa. On his home turf. Steve, run them down, Rogers, man.

Like, on his home turf. But when I look at it, can I, I don't look. No, can I, can I, please change. It's on the board. Because, like, no, no, you made me do that. Because you didn't let me take reach. No, it's on the board. It's on the boy.

Wow, Mitt boys, I want to see y'all fight. Because honestly, like, I, then if you want that, then I think Batman could be a whiter pick. No. Nah, man. It's so much wider. Are you nuts? Yeah.

Like, it's like... Batman, we ain't playing a Batman movie, we want you, bro. I'm not doing it. Are you kidding me? Whoa. Generation of wealth? I'm not doing it. By the way, the only reason why I haven't picked Batman is because I'm fucking y'all heads up

with my pick for superhero. If anybody picks a Batman movie here, I'm walking the fuck out, bro. Batman is obviously the widest superhero that's ever lived. It's the white movie draft, though. Everybody loves Batman fucking movies. That's not to say that people can't. A lot of these movies. Batman is super white.

Bro, Batman is rich and mad at crime. He's a fucking Republican. Give me Batman. Don't give a Batman. Give me Michael Keene's Batman right now. Michael Keynes is Batman. That's the least white Batman. That's the least white Batman.

That's the least white Batman. No. Like, what are you? No, no. The bell is the white is the white is Batman. Bell is the white as Batman. That's the least white Batman. Can you allow me Batman begins?

No, we can't do it. You pick Captain America. But look, I don't want this to get like, I don't want the discourse to be like, Steve thinks that the American way is like the white. It's too late. It's too late.

They're already on the Reddit typing it. It's cooked. Yeah, it's like you think we think we can't be Patriots. It's okay. We can't love America. I don't love America. I love Bradley. God damn, brother.

This is a racial. That's what they're talking about Falcon Winter Soldier. Yeah. They said that he can't be Captain. That a black man could never be Captain America. Yeah. Yeah. Let him have Batman.

Batman begins, please. Thank you. Let him have Batman. That's it. Can I say something about this? Batman Begins isn't a white movie though. Yes, it is. It's a white.

It's a very white character. It's not white. Wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on before. Hold on before. Okay, cool. So are we saying that Batman is a white character,

but we're talking about, which Batman movie is a white movie. I don't think any of them are like white movies in the way that I like think of like a white like especially like Batman. Like Batman is a four quadrant. That's like saying Spider-Man. I think this is more of the indictment of the character of Bruce Wayne and then it's heightened to the most point in Batman begins.

He's a billionaire. He beats up criminals. I'm like, yeah, that's half these superheroes, bro. And also that you have the agree with all of them need some kind of motivation. Yeah. Yeah. 99% of superheroes are white people who are super rich, beaten up fucking criminals.

We also had that egregious line from Alfred where it's like this is where your father or your great-grandfather, whatever, like helped people from the Underground Railroad. See, that makes it less white though? Makes it less white? Or is that more like white guilty words like, okay, we get it.

We can be it. Won't that movie. That movie. There's punishing movies on the board. You know what I'm saying? Whiteest character of all time. we got other shit. There's villain movies.

Like, come on, bro. Yeah, I mean, superhero, there's one movie there, I mean. I'm more, I'm more happy with Batman against and I'll lock that in. I'm locking in. I am locking in Batman. I am locking in Batman begins.

No, I mean, that's not a white man. This is crazy. I mean, we'll be, well, the ears thing. I'm getting, I'm not saying this is for white people. I'm saying Batman is only for white people. Steve was between Captain America and Batman. Those are not great options. Either way.

Fine. So, that's fine. But I got a wild car pick. It's my last pick. Go for it. I pick of the parent trap. Oh, parent trap. All right, so have some respect.

So I think that that can probably, like, that feels like the whitest thing ever because it feels like just making lying to your kids a fun little bit to get your parents back together is like, it's that pluck. It's the level of pluck that you got from sequels and Z. It is plucky kids taking over for their parents and doing stuff for their, I guess like, yeah, yeah, I mean,

you could have a, Black parent trap, though. You definitely could. But, you know, after, the thing is, why are you planning my business? Why are you tricking me? Like, what are you doing? We split up for a reason. Yeah, you know what I'm saying?

Get out of here. You could. You could. Whoa, whoa, wait. You ain't never had, like, a friend who's like, hey, yo, like, tell your mom. We have to know that, like, they separated children at birth. I feel like they did do a black parent trap? Did they do it?

I don't know. Did they? Black parent? I'll say this, though. Also, like, what parent is sending their kid to another country for a summer camp? Exactly. I don't know. That's just not something that happens in my family. Summer camp is I think the only way that that's a happy ending is if they're rich.

No, no, it's not summer camp. It's the fact that she lives in the UK and just sit to summer camp and whatever it is in America, that's just, I don't know. That's not, I thought it's not a comic. Guys, both houses have like butlers. Yeah. Like, come on. Nigel, we got money. Yeah, rich.

What do you mean? You got a butler now? Why are you making the state like, I can't think. I know. Look, I'm actually, it's an interesting choice. I think part of this is. Talking about whether or not the movie is white. The movie is white, but it doesn't seem egregiously white.

It's not offensively white. It's not offensively white. It's fine. It's on the board. But there are a couple of movies up here that aren't like offensively white, I could say. No, yeah. Like, nah, this is a pretty good list. Yeah, he's like, you got bangers.

You tried to. Steve, all in your picture, great. I'm going to be honest with you. I mean. Parent trap. Yeah, parent trap. Listen, when we get to honorable mentions, I have so many. All right.

So, Jomey, are you next? No, no, no. Van is next. Okay, I'm going to ruin my draft right here because I'm going to do something. No, I'm next, aren't you next? No. No, Ben's next yet. I'm going to ruin my draft here because I'm going to do something that's very controversial.

Okay. For my superhero movie, I'm going to go with Hancock. All right. Okay, let's go. Let's go. That's so funny. That's very great. Lock us in, big dog.

Lock us in. Hancock is a white superhero movie. Hancock is all-powerful does nothing for black people Yes Okay Hancock is all powerful They throw this nigga in jail anyway

Hancock is all powerful Hancock is a drunk Hancock is a white man's version of a black superhero So much so to where Hancock can't even get his shit together unless white people help. help him. He needs to come in and have Jason Bateman and all of these guys help him out.

Hancock fucking with a white woman. The whole non-Hancock is a white guy's version. A drunk that they threw in jail that can't even fucking fly straight. The first time I saw this movie, I'm like, hey man, why does black Superman got to have a drinking problem? Yeah. Yeah. Why is he? on the Henny. Also, Will Smith does not play a good drunk. He doesn't play a good drunk. Like the whole deal, Hancock is black, right?

But that is one of the whitest superheroes. Everything about the whiteness of the characters, it's a white savior movie for a superhuman person. That's actually, yeah. There's a white savior movie for a guy who's all powerful. He has to have white people come in and get them straight. Speaking of irresponsible nutting, have you guys ever seen the deleted scene of Haley? I have.

Yeah, I have seen that. That's crazy, bro. Shout out to Haley-Marie Norman who's in that scene, by the way. But. I didn't you remember that off the top of your head. Might have seen it at her own at the time. Yeah, well, shout to Hayley, or Marie Norman. But to me, that right there is just a white concoction of a black superhero.

And I remember leaving there thinking, God damn, why they got to do us like this? Can we fly? Fascinating. If we fly straight, let us fly straight and not off the hitting. That's it. My board is filled. Playing 3D chess. Yeah.

That's crazy. All right. What is left on the board? I mean, you got wild card, man. You got all types of options. You can go, you know, any which way. Yeah. You know what?

You know what? I did want to like, because I was doing research and someone on Reddit did point out, you know, they're like, technically speaking, the widest movie of all time is birth of a nation, which it is. That's true. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. But I don't even want to put that evil on the board. Yeah, we don't have...

We can't... I don't want to put that. You know what we've been good about? We've been good about not putting movies on here where black people are like... Because this could have been a bunch of Mississippi Bernice. Why do you know what black people are fucking exploited and killed and debates and racist movies?

No, no, no, no, no. And overly social movies. No, we want to be good about that. Like, I love most of these movies on this board. Yeah. There's not one movie on here that I don't love. terrible. I don't like

my name. Greenberg. Boondock Saints is fine. It's whatever. Yeah. Everything else I like, I love these movies. Damn.

So Wild Card, you know what? I am going to go with, all right, this is one of my favorite movies of all time. Okay. Super,

super white. This is one of the movies that the white people put me on. And I had to go back to my people and be like, this is the truth. I got to go Napoleon Dynamite.

Yes. Oh, that's pretty white. Yes. Like Napoleon Diamond White. I can throw football. What a yard. That's a good one. Charles,

that might be a draft clincher. That might be a winner for you. That's a good one. That's pretty white. I'm trying to convince Bill, be like, y'all got to do Napoleon Dynamites. It's great.

But here's the thing. It was the first time I watched it. I was like, I knew it was so well. I'm like, you know, I don't get this movie. This movie ain't funny. And then it was on cable again

and you sit down. You like, oh shit, I get with the white people be on. Yes, I love technology. Uncle Rico is like one of the funniest characters. Uncle Rico is so funny. Everybody knows.

Everybody knows. Uncle Rico. Uncle Rico is kind of black-coated, though. The only reason... You know how long I could throw a bowl. It's like, like, shout out to some of my uncles. My uncles would be like, yeah, you know, I used to saying there, I'd probably throw it like 97, 90s.

I'd be like, oh, man. I was talking to shit. And like, bro, you was throwing hard in high school. He was probably throwing 79, 80, 81. He's like, no, I'm telling you straight up. Like, I could throw that motherfucker about 95, 96, 97? I was like, oh, can you don't see how I keep coming down every time I said? You said, 9.

97, that's 95. I correct you. You can't do it. So, like, it's so funny when he goes, he's so frustrated. Yeah. I could have thrown a pigskin over those comments. Put me in with one state, no doubt my mind. Who's Napoleon?

That also, I don't know how well that's age, but Napoleon, I forget his name, his brother, who hooks up with what's their face? Oh, yeah. Dog. He's out. Oh, dog. I can't get over how funny Uncle Rico is. How much you want to bet I could throw pig skin over them?

Is that all we watch? was Napoleon Dynamite? Oh, they got it. Well, yo, when he takes the steak, and he throws it in it. And Napoleon driving. It's for the face. The Poysingle.

I had to move on my list, but I think it's white as hell. But, like, we're all here, like, laughing and enjoying the movie. Like, when I went, uh, I saw people weren't involved for Pedro shirts. Oh, yeah? I mean, like, that's the kind of the movie

where I like, it's white as hell. But I, in my head, I'm like, man, that movie. That was a cultural phenomenon. That's a good type of white people movie. When you were like, damn, these white people up to no good. Like, and you just, like, it makes you feel like, there's a couple movies where you watch it where it's just like, for this 90 minutes, two hours.

Y'all got it. Y'all, y'all, all right. Can I say something about this? It's like, you want movies to have diversity. And you want, but more than any single movie having a diversity, what you see, what you want to see is a palette of diverse stories. Yeah. Like, if the movie is about Italian kids,

grew up in the Bronx, that's fine. You do not have to shoehorn in a bunch of diversity for the sake of diversity. The question is, do you get movies about black kids from Harlem and black kids from Compton and black kids from South Baton Rouge and all of that? But there are some stories that sometimes have a very distinct cultural genesis that don't have a bunch of different people represented in them, and that's okay. The only problem is when that's all that you get.

Like, it don't have to be no black people in Rushmore. You don't just have to have a random black kid in Rushmore. You don't have to have that, right? But I would also like to know what it's like for black kids that are going to prep school. So can I ask this? Would you want Tim Burton famously don't be putting black people in his movies? Would you even want to see more black people in Tim Burton movies?

Are you like, you got it, Burton? Man, we're not trying to be in that weird-ass world. Houses look all weird and shit. You don't want a couple of niggas in Edward Cissor Hands? It might be, but we wouldn't have been around. We'd have been like, hey, I don't know if y'all know, but that nigga got scissors for hands.

I don't know if you know. You're telling me a black family wouldn't have taken Edward in? Absolutely not. We come in and be like, yo, I know he's good at cutting the bushes and whatnot, but y'all haven't seen that he got scissors for hands. It's only a matter of time before this motherfucker wigs out. Like, that's an issue. It's not going to happen.

But you know who would do that? Some white people. people. Oh my God, he's got scissors for hands. He's so special. Like, that would happen. I don't think we have to exist in Tim Burton's world. I'm cool on that. Same thing with West Anderson? I mean, West Anderson, that might be cool for a second, but they're weird too. Like, I don't know if we have to exist in those worlds, man.

Maybe some other worlds I would want to be in a little bit more. But, like, I don't want to be in a Tim Burton movie, bro. It's odd. People doing odd shit. And I don't want to be. They're always eating weird food. They're going in your house. They got crazy houses.

It's like a fun house and all of that stuff. You can't have a lot of black people in Beetlejuice is what I realized. Like, if I realized they had some ghosts and this motherfucker, I'm out. We should have had a horror category for like movies where the white people would be doing nuts stuff where black people would be like, you know, actually. I'm just going to, like when they take a, um. You can honestly double the draft board and we'd fill it up. Whatever when they're like, yeah, man, they got the little doll in basement. Chuckie?

No, not Chuckie. The other one. The Patrick Wilson. Annabel? Oh, Annabelle? Yeah. That goes, I'm like, hey, actually I'm in a leaf. This is not for me.

I'm getting out of you. But it's another part of it. Once again, what's the worst that could happen? You look at Edward's Scissor hands and you go, yes, it's cool for somebody to cut up your shrubs into nice shapes. But what's the worst that can happen? He's got scissors for hands. It can go back. Like, you look at the Annabelle doll.

I want to go down here. I want to know where the doll is from. I want to check out the doll. What's the worst that can happen? The worst that can happen is the doll is some kind of spirit. We don't fuck around with that. And in Beetlejuice, where Jesus is that? You know what I'm saying?

Like, all of this talk about the afterlife and all of this different stuff. Where's Jesus? Nobody had one question about Jesus in the whole movie. There's two movies, no, Jesus. We're going to ask some questions. We're going to ask some questions. There can be some other religions as well. Nobody asks about Buddha.

Hey, nobody asks about Allah or nothing like that. We haven't had any of those conversations. We're going to ask about those questions. You know, juice. meeting a lot would be crazy. Beetle juice meeting any of them

would be with like I'm on now in the second Beetle juice they actually put Soul Train in that bitch which I should have mentioned

come on a little more on the nose there Tim okay like but but the same time that's not everything has to be culturally for

one specific but I'm also gonna be honest if Beetlejuice was trying to get with like my young black daughter

would stomping the mouth that's not cute are you you beat up beetle juice hell fucking yeah He got powers.

If it was me, that's the first thing I would have done. Like, Beal Juice, Beal Juice, Beal Juice, I'd have spoke to him. You say it. Hala, Wata, ta, vata. And, like, throw some holy water on. And that's the thing. We're not going to try to fight with Beetle Juice. We're going to be like, oh, okay, Beetle Juice, I rebuke you the name of Jesus.

You bring you the name of Jesus. Okay, so it just becomes the exorcist. No, it would literally become like. It keeps getting fun. Every time I say it, it was like, I rebuke you in the name of Jesus, Beal Juice. And that's it. is going to be like a priest and the whole nine.

So anyway. I get it. All right. Johnny, your last pick, superhero. Superhero. I'm going to go with

2009 Watchmen. Oh, yeah. Oh. It's pretty white. I'm surprised we don't got any Snyder movies on here besides that.

Like, Manist steals a pretty white. I mean, Manist still's pretty white, but it's also, I think it's in the vein of Captain America, kind of where,

like, he's not white. He's an alien from another world. You know, he's truth, just as American way, all that nonsense. But I was surprised

Watchman went this late, especially for a superhero movie, because it is white as hell. Ain't no color nowhere in that film. Where would you put it? I don't, I'm not saying, I mean,

to his point, right, you don't need it, but it's super, super freaking white, man. I'm surprised you didn't pick the Joker. Yeah, the Joker is a,

super much white. That is a, oh, man, we missed out. No, no, no. When I was saying earlier, during your piece, I thought joke, yeah. That's all I was talking about.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I genuinely didn't think of that. Joker and also kickass. Kickass is a very much. Kickax is very white. I don't like kickass. I'm not. I thought the first one was fine.

It's okay. It's fine. It's like everyone was going crazy talking about how like amazing kick ass was. I can't get into kick ass. I mean, it's not quack. But it's like I don't really like it. It's not. I don't like movies where people get stabbed up a lot.

Fair. Stabbing is the thing that always gets you then. Yeah. And you like Wolverine. It's hard. It's hard to watch people get stabbed up. It was hard like watching Wolverine and Deadpool, which was like a fucking stab fest.

I always, everybody, their favorite mutant is always, Wolverine Wolverine, can you imagine if you had Wolverine's powers in the real world? Imagine if you just had to carry around knives. Imagine you're just like jerking off his Wolverine. I'd always be scared. I think so. What? So hold on.

Hold on. No, let's take this seriously. Let's take this seriously. The thing is he's got the healing factor. Right. Right, right. So. It would matter.

Yeah, like it could hurt, I guess. You want to regrow your penis? Yeah, I mean, he regrows everything else. Yeah, right? I mean, I don't think. Is it, wait, is it like, hold on, hold on, hold on. Question. Is it painful that is?

Is it a dice roll every time? I sorry, I think it comes back as the regular penis. Okay. It's not like us, let's say, let's say Wolverine is pleasuring a woman, Jean Grey. He always got to be careful. That's like happened before, right? Hasn't he been in the situation where he was in bed with someone and the claws came out?

Oh, that's always. Because he had a nightmare or something like that. So, so, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I mean, I imagine. I'm not going to Google that. It's happened during, like, sleep. You shouldn't. No, I'm telling you, in one of those Wolverine movies,

wouldn't he having a nightmare and his claws came out? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, and he stabbed an Pacquine. Yeah, like he, like that happens. Arjuna? Yeah, it's the first X-Men. Yeah. Yeah, he stabbed Rogue out accident. And then she touched him so you could take a healing factor.

Yeah, so, I mean, that's not been sleeping, but during the, during intercourse, I'd imagine you'd be able to keep it tough. Well, I mean, he could go into a berserker rage. It just depends on how excited it gets. I mean, that's what you have to worry about, you know. It's like you might get too rough, you know. These are the things we think about. It is.

The thing about Wolverine and any of those kids. It's playing in the space, man. Wolverine's a pretty white-cloded character. I mean, white man that can't be heard. Does his own thing. He can't learn a thing or two throughout the annals of time. Yeah, right. Not really.

Not really. Also, he likes the sisters. He likes Storm. Does he? Wait, didn't Wolverine origins, he fought in the Civil War for the Union? Was that, I mean, no. Oh, the montage of Wolverine Origins were fighting through.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I wonder? It's like, I was watching 310 to Yuma last night. Okay. And brilliant, fantastic, forgotten movie. Okay. And he fought for the North, right? I wonder, you know, somebody had to fight for the South, right?

Would your opinion of Wolverine change if he fought for the visitors? Absolutely. Absolutely. If I'm Bishop, if I'm Bishop at Storm, I'm like he's not being on arts. What if he was states rights? A state's rights to what? States rights. Do you think Wolverine's family owns slaves?

They were Canadian. I mean, I guess you could, but I mean, James Howlett. Let's not open that can of worms. All right, guys. Going to the White Movie draft board. To the board. To the board. You have Hancock, sleepless in Seattle,

Armageddon, back to the future, Rocky Goodwill Hunting. I got Scott Pilgrim, Grand Budapest Hotel, Fight Club, Avatar, Blindside, Napoleon Dynamite. Jomey, Watchman, American Psycho, Boondock Saints, Planet of the Apes, Green Book, Wolf of Wall Street. And Steve has Batman Begins,

The Royal Tenen Bombs, Top Gun, Jurassic Park, La La Land, and Parent Trap. How do you think we did? I think we did really, really, really good. We have a plethora of white movies. not to me black motherfuckers in them I look at this and it's also non-toxic

Yeah we stayed away I wanted to stay away from slave films I didn't want to get in the mock Did it da Midnight Collective How are you guys feeling? I'm surprised nobody took the departed It's there

I mean listen we got a lot on the board For honorable mentions Do we have anything that's on the board No departed No Pulp Fiction In Oscar I was about to pick Juno. That's a white. Juno's a white one.

Juno's a white one. I had, I had, I had, I'm surprised we didn't take any of those Will Ferrell, uh, comedy. They just too, they cross over. They're too, they're too. That's my, that's what I'm saying. That's what I say. Right. The departed is not on there, but Boston had, is well represented.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We could have literally, Boston's up there for a minute. We literally could have taken every movie from Boston. We could have took the town. Honestly, that would have been the metagame that we, like, if we had We should have a Boston category. No, no, no. White is movies, but we all just secretly draft

Boston movies. We should have had a Boston category. That shit. All right. Next one. Next one. We should have had a Boston. My honorable mention board was

Sideways. Sideways, yes. Twilight, the jerk with Steve Martin. And. Annie Hall. No John Hughes. Any Hall was on mine. Plains trains and automobiles and Ferris Bueller's day off.

Yeah. Ferris Bueller. That's on my, that was on my list. Sixteen candles. 16 candles, breakfast club. On the list. But you know what I will say, though? I guess he's transcended, but at the same time,

it's still. It's pretty white. It's pretty freaking white, man. First Vooders going through people's backyards. Stealing a Ferrari? Easy. You imagine. The only two people of color in the movie steal the car.

Yeah. You know what I mean? They give it back. No 824 movies on here? What from 824 would have been on there? Spring breakers is a very white movie. Oh, mid-90s. Oh, yeah.

I never saw mid-90s. Nineties is pretty white. Spring breakers is pretty white. Lady Bird. You know what's very white, but I loved it? Have you ever seen that movie Brooklyn? Which one? Oh, with the Sertioronen?

Yeah. Oh, I love that movie, bro. That movie is white. Charles, you had a revelation of one of your grade school films that you wanted to talk about. Oh, our friend Martin? Have you ever watched all right? Oh, my God. What is our friend Martin?

Every day you won't know. You won't know this. I don't know. You were too old. This is like an after-school special film that they played in the 90s. It's an after-school special, like, where it's just like a black guy and his white best friend basically go back in time to save Martin Luther King from getting shot. But all of time basically is just like with how... This is animated?

Yes. Yes. With Albert Luther King getting shot, basically like it's just like the worst fucking future. So that the black kid has to basically go back and be like, bye, Martin. And then he goes back in time. And they're like... And you hear a good time. And you get shot in the hotel.

And then everything is happening. It's the fact that when they bring Martin Luther King to the future, the future is actually bad without him having been killed. Therefore, they have to send him back to be killed in order. And they're like, they show Martin Luther King going back in time and opening up the hotel. And it cuts to black and all he wears, bough! Well, I'll let y'all go know that it looks like a black woman wrote this shit. Just being honest with you

Shout out Angela Bassett She's in there Levart Burton Danny Glover Oh the whole movie is black Jesus Christ It has not aged Particularly well It sounds like some bullshit to me

You know who played Martin Luther King's senior Who? James Earl Jones Damn rest of peace Wow James Earl Jones I'm surprised that he was in it Being that a black woman wrote it

All right Ouch All right Let's wrap it up You all right? This has been a great episode. Take us out, man. Thank you so much.

That's a wrap. If we still have a show next week, we'll be back. This Friday, the House of All Our continues with their rings of power. Deep Dives. Tolkien fans, I was wrong. Y'all are the illest.

Y'all are the greatest. Y'all are the best of all time. My brother is. So, like, the shit is. He said, speak on this shit, being popular, so I'm speaking on it. Joe, Jibril, all of y'all. Okay. Next week, Agatha returns will be giving you our instant reactions to Agatha all along,

and we fucking can't wait. God damn it. Our producers are Steve, the architect, Alman, Jonathan, chocolate, drop, Kerma, Alea, O'Brien, Zanaris, Jomi, the explainer, Adiron. On social, Jomi, Rinaldo Odenoron. That's old, right? That's the third.

Come on. Oh, man. Sorry, my first week back, we got to have one. Our visual production from Arjuna the Wacha, the sick boy, Mr. Sick. Rounda Pell. Chuck, take us up. We apologize to Tolkien. The future is bright.

We enjoyed this episode and our movies being white. Also, just spoiler for everything that's white, the middle passage, smaller slavery, just anything like that's like out there. What's the wait? Okay. Was there a plot twist that I missed? Don't you tell me. With white people? Why don't you tell me?

Why don't you put yourself in that situation? Why don't you tell me? Why don't you tell me? Why would I put myself in this entire situation? We got an hour of us. Wait, what are the top five whitest? Like is mayo like a white people thing? Like mayonnaise?

Yeah. Overhated mayonnaise in my opinion. No. Oh my God. Steve, are you just trying to get fucked over? Yeah, come on, man. I mean, for, okay, so, so here's the thing. White people put mayonnaise in everything.

But it depends, though. It's an ingredient. It's not a condiment. Here's a deal, though. Because black people love ranch. this is true. Ranch is basically

mayonnaise with a PR team. Exactly. No, mayonnaise with spice. Also, where would devil eggs be without mayonnaise, by the way?

What is the one of the main basis to ranch is mayonnaise? Yeah, but it's, when you eat, that's not true? You can make mayonnaise

without mayonnaise. Ranch and grease. It's buttermilk. It's buttermilk, sour, garlic, mustard herbs. I'm not really seeing mayonnaise. Mayo is egg and oil.

Oh, wait, so mayonnaise is not in ranches. It can be in rancis. It's like a variant of it. But technically, yes. The main thing is buttermilk. Okay, so wait a second. Wait a second. Hold on real quick.

Just so we know, because this was long held it. So there's no mayonnaise in ranch. There can be mayonnaise in ranch. It is not essential to ranch. Yeah, most. Traditionally no. No, traditionally it's buttermilf. For a lot, yes.

No, Alia, Jomey is a chef and he's saying you full of shit. Girl, don't, John, Jomey and me. Wait, wait, hold on. You eat Wingstop Ranch, right? I do eat Wingstab Ranch, that's mayo in there. Maybe. It's mayo, buttermilk, and the hidden...

Damn-dhistoric. Damn-dames! Alea, might be time for you to sit your ass down. I'm just joking. So wait a minute. This is what we'll do. There's only one way to prove this, Alleyer. By Googling it?

Got to order? No, no, no, no, no, no. No. This will happen on the next podcast. Okay, wow. This will happen on the next podcast. Alaya, I want you to bring your three. We're going to have a bunch of wings here.

I want you to bring your three non-manaze-based ranches. Jomey, I need you to bring your three. Are you just trying to make us cook for you? No, no, no, I'll pay for the wings. You guys, stop acting like I don't come through when it's time to have food. I mean, last time you got, he provides. You got burritos. Yeah, you had the burrito thing.

Nah, nigg, I had to order two different sets of burrito. I made sure you. I got your refund, right? I did not. Oh, Uber Eats. I did not. Uber Eats.

Let me tell you something right now. Hey, hold on. Uber Eats fucked me on the refund. They fucked me on the refund because they think that, and by the way, we can't be sure that Alia didn't steal the burritos. Oh. Wow. The burrito.

The burrito bandit. We got the chicken nugget bandit right here. We got the burrito bandit over there. Because Alleya went down and then she came back and she went. was no burritos. Mysteriously no burritos. Mysteriously no burritos. We can't be sure

that Alea didn't steal the bros. Now, she's not a thief. But what she is is a business woman. So I could easily see her going down there and being like on her way back up, like I got burritos, man. $2 a piece, $2. She flips burritos?

On the way from downstairs to the studio. I want to battle between Aleas. A sauce off. A sauce off is crazy. A non-ranch-based. A non-ranch-based.

non-maio-based ranch and Jomi's mail-based ranch because I feel not how I think about it. Alea I have made like the the ranch packs at home and there was no mayonnaise when you make them. Ranch pack is just a seasoning though. But what do you what did I put in? Sour cream usually. Sour cream is what was used. So mayonnaise is probably used as a thickener, right? If you're making, if you want a thick ranch, that's what it is because butter milk is a little bit runnier.

So if you want a thick ranch, that's why people are putting mayo in. Okay, so we're going to do this. On the next show, while we do, I want to take away from Agatha. Of course, no, no, no. You wouldn't dare. We should do it a little bit later around lunchtime if we can. And then we'll have an actual ranch off. And with Jomey's three mayonnaise-based ranches, and then Alea's non-manage-based ranches,

and we'll just see what we like better. I'm not, I'm going to be there for support. I don't touch fucking ranch. You don't like ranch? Fuck ranch. God tell. God damn. God damn.

All right. Enough about this. We've gone off on the tangent already.