The Rising’s Growing Together Podcast - Are We Raising Sore Losers? And Letting Kids Quit Too Easily?

Episode Date: April 3, 2026

Are we raising a generation of sore losers… or just trying to protect our kids?In this episode, we dive into the real, unfiltered side of parenting from 6AM sleepover chaos to full-on debates about whether kids should win at games or learn how to lose.Because let’s be honest…this isn’t just about Monopoly it’s about resilience, confidence, and how we’re raising our kids in today’s world.What we get into:Why family game nights get WAY too competitiveThe truth about letting kids win (and what it teaches them)When to let your child quit a hobby… and when to push themWhy boxing/martial arts and music build real confidenceWhether kids today have too much choice (and not enough structure)This episode is for you if:You’ve ever questioned your parenting decisionsYour child has wanted to quit somethingYou’ve argued over a board game (be honest 😂)You’re trying to raise confident, resilient kids👇 JOIN THE CONVERSATIONAre you team:👉 Let them win👉 Teach them to loseDrop your answer + your best “sore loser” story in the comments we might share it next episode.🔗 Follow & Connect: @TheRising1111 

Yeah, obviously we had a little sleepover. So Lexi stayed with us last night and they got up at 6 o'clock this morning. They went to bed at 10 o'clock last night. So they're a bit tired anyway. But they've been playing on morning. They've been doing puzzles, science experiments, trampoline, the lot. So they were just playing a card game. And we played this at Camp Inn.

And it was whoever has the most cards is the loser by the end of the game. So they decided because there was only two of them that they could actually. give themselves the card or nominate the other person and they were going to change the rules that if you had the most cards at the end you're going to be the winner which they did explain to me when I came in the door they said it they made the decision and it's like yeah the game still works whichever way um you decide so um they've done the game counted up the cards at the end lexie ended up with 20 Casey ended up with 17 so then he was like oh no I've decided to change the rules back to how it was it's the less cards wins so I was like casein you can't do that and then he had a

moment and he had a cry and he wasn't happy about it. But he was quite open in that, well, I just want to win though. Yeah, he wasn't. I was like, you can't just change the rule so that you win. Well, why not? Yeah, I just want to win. Yeah. And I'm like, look, you can want to win and it can, you know, upset you that you didn't win. But at the end of the day, like, you changing the rules makes the winner actually then the loser. And if it was the other way around, you wouldn't let Lexi change the rules because you won and now you don't win. Like, it's not fair. So anyway, we ended up just going, right, game over. put stuff away.

But I actually had someone say to me that the day they don't let their kids win at any games. And it got me thinking, like, I probably have in certain things. And I've also, I'm probably on the fence with it. Like, sometimes I've let him win, sometimes I've made him lose so that he, you know, doesn't win everything.

Because you need to avoid that situation where, like, they are terrible, sore losers because they're so used to winning everything. Well, this, we joke about this in our house because the monopoly game. We can't pay a monopoly. We can't. So me and my brother were the worst.

Yes. And is that because Mason's the eldest? Could be. So he was just let to win by all the adults because he was around. Because even still now, Mason is a sore loser. Yeah. And that is the thing in our house of,

oh God, no, don't play Monopoly for Mason. Yeah, we stop playing. Me and my brother are terrible, but my two sisters are not. But I think when you're around, people that are that competitive sometimes it's like I'm not going to care that much. It's not enjoyable. No, it's not fun. So half of us are, half of us are. But I've always been a bit of a sore loser. I hate losing. I definitely probably didn't take it well plenty of times. I've got better at taking it and not letting

other people know that it bothers me that much. Yeah. But it's funny because I remember even when I'd started working here, I don't know how long I've been the job. Not that long. maybe a year or two or whatever and we went um go-kart in and um we went like as a as work so there was some women there were some bloats and i was throwing this go-kart around this track like i'm trying to be i don't care who's yeah who's hit i bruised my spine completely from the top to the bottom of my spine i had bruises on it all the like novel bits because there wasn't much cushion in the chair so i'm throwing and i'm going like this and i literally my spine was bruise um did you win uh i was the top woman yeah i think i came third or fourth out of like 20

or people so i'd still beat a lot of blokes as well so i was i was quite okay with that but it was just a comment that my boss at the time said like about oh me being competitive or something like in a conversation with someone else and i i didn't realize that people had seen that at work from me yeah so i obviously give off that side as well yeah but um yeah i'm in sales as well so like you know You've got to be contested. You've got to be competitive to be in sales. I don't know if I was, when I was younger, I probably wasn't, I was probably just a little brat,

just as a sport brat sort of thing. That's what I saw a loser is, isn't it? I think that's probably what I probably did when I was younger. Because if I can't really imagine me being, you know. I think all kids go through. Yeah, I just think I was, yeah, I was just the typical little sister, the youngest of the family. I think that was me.

Get my own way. Yeah, I think I think I was that. and played on that. Yeah. So I think that was me. Yeah. I don't actually know, but I'm just going to say that before anyone was throw at me.

But no, he wasn't. Yeah. You know. But yeah, so Mason, Mason our house. Really strangely, my dad won't let my kids win. Yeah.

Well, not my kids, anyone would win. And that is quite surprising from your dad. Yes. I would never have thought he'd be like that. So my dad is literally missed the ass. Grandad, yes. Like anything, it's just, yeah.

Absolute teddy bad. Yeah. just anything. You want to, yeah, do it. I'll do it, yeah, no problem. Until. Until it's a game. Until it's a game.

Yeah. And then it's like, yeah, no, like game is on, literally. Wow. Yeah, so. Is it good for kids to, yeah, I think it's definitely good for them to lose, but should you like never let them win? Well, I think that that's a good balance between the family. If they had that between everyone, yeah, I think it would give them,

what's the word, not a complex, but, you know, like, that feeling of not ever really being good enough. Yeah. You know, like that sort of thing. Yeah. And it's hard with ages because like I say, when I'm the oldest, so it was easy for me to beat my siblings because age, you know, generally you're faster, you're stronger, you're smarter.

It's easier. Yeah. But a lot of the time you are, I tell, let them win or let them, you know, let them, whatever. So, but yeah, if you are like a younger sibling, you probably are used to lose it a lot. Yeah. Yeah.

So maybe it is the older ones that find it. harder to lose. Yeah, there you go. It would make sense. Yeah. In that respect. But on the other side, I maybe was given it. The other way.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Always let her win because she's the youngest. Yeah. So then I might have, but I'm not. I don't think I am like that now. I don't think. But I still am.

Like, I was definitely not as strong as it was when I was younger. But like now to the point that if people are like, oh, let's play game. I'm like, I've got the energy to like play it. Because if I play it, I know I'm going to want to win it. And then I actually can't be bothered to play games because like... I feel like we're going to fall out. Either that or just like say I haven't got any of you to like put in to really want to win. Because I know what's going to happen.

And I need to put like my full effort in and I just haven't got the end of it. And they're like, it's just a game, Bill. It's true. It's funny. Actually, I think Liam did say that, didn't he? He did. Yeah, I think we told Liam about Kaysen today and he went, yeah, like his mom. Yeah.

Well, for me, I think in my house, my, my, my, the first. five of us. I think me and Mitch are just very balanced in picking and choosing, you know, that sort of thing. Generally now as they're getting older, no, the game's a game, do you know what I mean? But it depends on what it is. Yeah. You know, so and the age gaps are very different. Do you know what I mean?

So obviously that and just balancing it out, you know, sometimes you will and sometimes you won't. But go into like my dad, for example, yeah, no question. You ain't going to let you. So if you do, well done. Yeah, yeah. But it'll be on you. It'll be on you.

to get you back. No, it's interesting. Yeah, I think a balance is let them, let them lose, build, build some character. Yeah, let them win sometimes. Yeah, like push them to do better so they actually win. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, definitely. But another thing I wanted to ask, which is a little bit in relation to like winning

and giving up and stuff, I guess, is Kaysen wants to stop art class. Oh! So he's really good at art. He's really good at drawing. And we were taking him to a place because I heard about it. is the only place that I knew about it. And, yeah, he went for a good couple of months, like once a week for an hour and a half,

and he got good, and I thought he enjoyed it. Then he had a couple of weeks off because either I wasn't here, I was away at work, and we had stuff on and it just didn't work out. So he had a couple of weeks off, and then he was like, I don't really want to go back. He said, oh, nothing seemed to have happened just on board, or it's not that interesting or whatever. And they did offer one at his school,

so we kind of were like, oh, that would be a lot closer. drive in 20 minutes. He could just go to the one down the road. So I was going to put his name down for that, but he says he doesn't want to go at all. So it's like, when do you let kids give up and when should you actually not let them give up a hobby? Well, go out again, just on my experience.

I think it's just ages as well. As they go through ages, they literally flip between so many different hobbies and interests that you just, you know, you're trying to keep up with what they want to do. For me, obviously, with the boys, for them two was football. Yeah. So the football was like their main hobby that they definitely wanted to do and stick with. But I remember you being gutted when Mason was like, I don't want to do it anymore.

You've got a thing, I went from Mason doing it since he was like three till how old is it? I'm going to go on about 15 maybe. Yeah, about that. And that's a long, long time for me to. You know, and he was good. Yeah. He was really good. But what he didn't like was he liked playing football.

He loved playing football. He just didn't like how serious it was getting. Yeah. That's what he didn't like. It didn't like being told he had to be there on this, this, this day. And da, do, do. Yeah. And it is, like, all the emotions that come with it

and the pressure from the coaches and the parents and the shouting and the, like, the aggression with the team, other team. And it is like almost like they're like, it's their job. Yeah, so I think he felt more like a school, like going to school. Yeah. Rather than just going to play football in the end. So it was, don't get it wrong, it was really nice to see if, I don't know if they are, if any of his friends still are in a team or not.

I do think it's such a funny age as you start getting to that adult age. And you start getting into, like, friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You realize how much you're missing out and girls and all the stuff. Mason at the minute hasn't even got time to really breathe at the minute, less in between work, college, he's driving. Yeah. And, you know, girlfriend, life, you know what I mean?

Everything like that. Yeah, he hasn't got time to breathe, bless him. But he did it for a long time. So, yeah, I know I flip-flopped through loads. My mum used to always say it to me, like, yeah, you would do it, and then you'd convince me that you were going to stay, and then I'd buy all the shit, and then you were like, I don't want to know it anymore.

Yeah. So, and I think we should do loads of things. I think we should try stuff. But at the same time, kids do, I did read, like, there is a period where kids do generally tend to give up. And sometimes, like, they need that push to stay because they'll get through that bit and actually they'll be thankful for it

and it could end up being something they really want to do. Or like you say, it doesn't even have to be like, oh, he was really good so I was pushing him to be a footballer. No, yeah, yeah. It's just good to have talents. I agree. I do agree. But it's like you say, it's when picking and choosing and when to...

And if he doesn't want to go and I'm making him go, is he not going to like it anymore? It's one of them, isn't it? Yeah. So I've had situations, for example, the one club, Lexi has stuck with and I'm quite adamant that she does stick with is her flamenco. Yeah. So Lexi's done gymnastics.

She's done gymnastics, rhythmica. She's done guitar. She's done roller skating. I can't. There's loads. She's done loads. And that's great. And that's what I wanted to do.

Do you know what I mean? I wanted to do all these things, boxing, everything. But the one that I really wanted to stick with was flamenco. And there has been occasions where it's got to the time. She's like, I don't want to go to friend go tonight. I don't want to go. Not that she wants to quit the class, but it was getting to a point where I was like,

okay, rather than like once a month where when you just can't be bothered, just she's tired, whatever, which I completely get it. Yeah. It was getting to more, like, it was happening like every week. Like more, you know what I mean? When she goes two times a week,

it was happening like more, more. And I was like, I don't want to force her to go and do it, but is she just getting into a habit? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Of that. Yeah. And I think it was, I think it was just a stage, you know, whatever it was at that time.

And I am glad that I kind of, no, come on. Sometimes I let us, obviously, have that chill. And sometimes like, no, you are going today, babe. You are. You're going to be fine when you get there. She was. Yeah. Absolutely fine.

Yeah. But I thinking you read at the time, I do it still as an adjo. It's just easier. And it's been, oh, it's easy not to go. Yeah. And like I say, sometimes you just need. And when you do go, you've had a tough day or a long day or you've had a shit sleep, like it affects you. And it's just, I think, again, it's just knowing you.

your child in a way. So there is subjects, like those, I'm in school, there is hobbies with Lexi that I've gone, you know, when she keeps asking me,

I'm not to go, no, there's just no point, babe, you know, you're not in, you're not, you know,

it was just one of, just one of these things that you wanted to try. It was, yeah, and that was it, you know? Yeah.

So for a while, Kaysen's done drama and tech and for a bit art. So he said he'll still would do the other two. And he did say, that he's got friends at the other ones. And I said, you don't go to hobbies to be with friends.

You go to like learn and do the thing. Yeah. As well as be with friends. Like it's nice that you have friends. Yeah. But yeah. So we've kind of said you can you can stop the art that's far away. I was maybe going to say like I'll enroll you in the school one and you have to finish off the year.

Yeah. So you have to do April, May and a bit of June. Yeah. And then come September, you can decide if you want to carry on or not. It's kind of give him a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of, stick to something properly before deciding if you want to carry it on. But yeah, he's done drama. He's never had an issue, never ever said about like wanting to not go to drama for a weekend.

And he's done that for nearly two years. Yeah. And I think it's just that. I think it's, again, they're kids, but it's just getting them to understand, you know, and really think about, I know you feel like, oh, you can't really bother. But do you really want to give that all up? Yeah. You know what I mean?

Do you? Yeah. You've got that far. You see how good you've got it. So it's just more that and then doing it and then never speak about it again sometimes. You know what I mean? So there's some, like you say,

I do think there's some for me that are quite important. So obviously Morgan does his football, which that's what I enjoys. If it ever was seeing that there was no enjoyment, there's no point for me in doing it. There's some that I do think are important. Even if you're good at it, if you don't enjoy it, I've always tried to push mine to do boxing.

because I just think it's a good thing for them to do. I want Kocin to do everything. And a musical instrument. That's it. Boxing and a musical instrument. And then they're the kind of two, I know that's so random things, but that are kind of two hobbies.

Yeah, they're the two hobbies for me if I was going to really, really push, that they would, mine really flitting and out of those. So I'm not so fussed, you know what I mean? They're not so, do-da-da-da-da. To be honest, it's difficult when certain stuff changes because every year different hobbies change. and then I say grow up.

Some of them conflict and you can't get them and go to them all, yeah. But that are the kind of two that I really try. I'm like, right, we need to really get you into that again because you haven't been for a while now, for example, boxing. Right, right, we need to fix the day and get you back into that. And that's one that I would kind of push. And the same with the musical instrument thing for me. Yeah.

It's funny that you say musical instrument. Is that like, because I know like when we were at school, it was more, like I knew a lot of friends that did musical instruments. Maybe I never did. I did. I did. I never did. So I don't know.

I always wanted to. And I like say flitted and done like maybe. I wish I did more. That's probably what it is for me. And that's probably, I'm probably pushing out my children a bit. But I do really. But no,

I think like the brain, part of your brain that you use for music. It changes. It builds up. It really feels that you can use another stuff. But no, I agree with boxing and like whatever kind of martial arts kind of thing. Yeah.

That is, well, one protection and sticking up for yourself. But also like discipline and all these other things. It teaches a lot of things. It teaches a lot of things. that you don't realize. And it's true, like I saw a video, I don't know if it was actually advertising boxing or something for kids or something,

but it was a video of like, you know, bullying at school and like kids walking up to other kids are pushing him. And you can see the reaction in the kids that are used to it and the kids that are like really scared. You know, and Casey, obviously now he's got Hayden, I'm sure he's going to get pushed about a bit and have that like, you know, sibling thing

that you have at home because I do see other kids that grow up with siblings, they can stand up for themselves more than kids that either have big age gaps or don't have that dynamic where they fight very much. But the kids that are used to it know how to say no, know how to push back. They're not so, oh my God, like they're pushing me or they're going to start on me. And you need to be able to have that confidence to be like,

I can handle something. Yeah, it's more that. I think, again, it's not all about to fight. but that's where it is, that's where boxing and karate and all these martialites, it's more of a control. And a lot of the time it defences it. It diffuses it. Yeah. And I think the worst bullies, kind of knowing in yourself.

Yeah. That you can scream and spit in my face all you like. It's having the control. I know. I know I'm okay. Yeah. I know I can defend myself. I don't need to be like this, this vicious mouth person.

And that's it. Most bullies can't, you know, do it. anything but throw their weight around, shout and act tough and they don't actually know, but, and they pick on kids specifically who can't, you know, have no respect, have no discipline, have no, all these other things like, and that cower and they, then they can look big in front of people. They don't even have to do anything because a lot of it is mouth. Yeah. But like the minute you stand up for yourself, like, oh, right, you know, I'll pick on somebody else. But if you don't teach kids that confidence, they only have to do it once. They don't even, like say, hardly ever has

to even get physical. Because it happens. just being able to go, don't push me or you can't do that. Or who do you think you're talking to? Exactly that. That's all it needs. Because you've experienced that

in all forms of growing up too. You're not so direct, but... No, but even in work, like I say, like I've worked with people that can't emotionally control themselves and, you know, throw tantrums and stuff and it's embarrassing. And I've worked to people who under pressure,

who under, you know, whether it's pressure from a conversation, from a negotiation, or just in work life. And all of those skills, you teach you how to handle those things. Yeah. And again, just going on them two subjects, especially with boxing, I just feel like it gives, it teaches you so much. It teaches you breathing. Yeah. Exercising. Yeah. Like you've said, the respect, the discipline and doesn't have an exercise one. So that, that sort of a thing. And then, and then the, the, the, the music side for me, I think it just brings you things that people don't even realise. You know, so where Lexi learnt the guitar,

I'm not asking her to go to music school for the rest of her life. Now she's got a basis. She can put it on YouTube. She knows exactly what she can do in that respect. Do you know what I mean? But I just feel like it's all, in my head, I think it's probably made me me too because sometimes we do kind of things. Oh, maybe you do it because I never got to do that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's that. I just think imagine. Imagine being able to just pick up a guitar and just play music and how it makes you feel or wherever you are, you can just do it because it's there.

You know what I mean? It's definitely not a bad thing, is it? No. But in terms of quitting and not quitting, I think age is a very big factor. I think they will flit in and out of so many different things. And again, I think it's just knowing your child of when to pick and choose that

and let them realise and think about, do you really want to give it up? Yeah. And maybe just for now, you maybe want to pick it up later on, you know, all these things. And yeah, just knowing them really, is it really worth?

Yeah. making him go and do whatever, you know. So what would the situation be to say, no, you're not quitting? Again, I'm just going to probably go to the example with Lexi with her flamenco where she had them, you know, where I was just more realising she was like, oh, do I have to go today? It was just because she was in the middle of playing with her dollies or something like that. It was just in a moment, you know, and it was just realizing,

well, is she happy coming out of class? Yeah. Is she excited, you know, to do show? or whatever it was that she was doing. Yeah. You know, I realised that a lot of the parades she didn't really enjoy. So I didn't really want her to be involved in that sort of thing if she was thinking, oh, this is what I'm doing.

I don't really want to go. You know, and just learning that sort of thing. So in terms of me saying, like, no, you're not going to quit. I'm saying that, so let's not go to Lexi, because she's never actually asked to quit. It was just more of a phase of maybe not going here or there. Yeah. What child? Mason.

Mason was the one with the footballer actually obviously quit. I was gutted. I was really, really gutted. But also at the same time, at his age that he was, I had to just respect him. And I kind of agreed with what he was saying. You know, like I agreed with what he was saying. Yeah.

And he does still go and meet. I'd rather hang out with my friends. Yeah. And it wasn't. I mean, yeah, you've had occasions. But actually, there were still me. I'm going to play football anyway. Yeah.

You know what I mean? So, yeah. Initially, I was a little bit worried because it wasn't getting a dodgy age and what their reasons are. Yeah. Is it laziness? Is it like not enjoyment and stuff? And what benefits does the hobby have to the child? Yeah.

To be, is it, you know what I mean? Well, that's the other thing that I saw is that in like, I don't know, are we classes the Western world? I don't know. Yeah, we are. My job is terrible. I know that bit. Yeah, okay, cool. So like our cultures, like, as a whole, this side of the world, it's a lot of letting the kids decide.

decide. Yeah. Whereas in the other side, like more of the Asian culture, it was you are doing an instrument, you are doing this, you are doing that and you have no choice about it. And they, their kids supposedly from what this thing told me, tend to be, you know, happier, healthier and wealthier. Yes. Well, I will go back to it again.

Literally the conversation we had just about dinners. Yeah. Was it yesterday? I don't know. Our last chat was we give them too much choice here. Yeah. We literally give them too much choice. In terms of, yeah, we've evolved in the terms of we're not so much, you know, like we were

parentsed, yeah, but also we've gone to another level here. Like, we know, we are literally being told by children that don't even know stuff. Yeah. In a way, you know, I know that sounds a bit horrible, but it's true, you know, and you're letting them do it. Yeah. So let's just all remember how this works here, how parenting works and things like that. And I'm not doing it to mug the kids off.

know, but there's a reason for that. And rather than let them pick every day, be like one day a week is your day. Yeah. And then you've got the balance. Yes. These other days, you're eating the dinner that I'm making because that's what I've bought and that's

what's good for you. It definitely makes the house float better. The children would, by the end of it, be a lot more happier. But they say they thrive off routine and structure. A million percent. But when you give them too much choice, they lose that routine and structure a little bit. Yeah.

It's the great word again, in it? Balance. Yeah. Fucking word. But there is no right balance And there is no like Yeah Just tell me how to parent

Just give me a book I'd still disagree with it I'd still probably have to say on it Will we this is the thing Probably This is the thing So yeah That was a good little chat today

I like that Yeah Because it's It still happens to me Or every week You know like saying With the hobbies or a game Or you've been a parent

For 18 years And you've got three of them But it still doesn't mean That you know everything And you've got the right answer And every kid's different So it's like Well I thought I learned that

And now you're throwing a curveball at me and I don't know what to do. And also it does make me feel better, you know, like when we think we over, well, we are overthinking things that we really think. They're not, not, I'm not saying they're not important, but we are overthinking a lot of things. Yeah. And then I, I asked my mom and she's like, I don't know, I didn't even ask you. I don't know, I don't know, like proper like, yeah. Not that they didn't give a shit, but basically don't have a fucking clue.

And we're fine, like in terms of like, I love dad generation. Do you know what I mean? Of that. So, like, I'm like, then it makes. We're pretty rounding people. Yeah, just chill the fuck out, man. Yeah, no, it's true, it's true. So have a think and then make a decision and be done.

Yeah. Don't worry too much. Good luck on that one, Bill. Yeah, no. Easier said than done. Yes. So, yeah, if you've got any stories to share and or any pearls of wisdom that will help us. Yes.

With, like, just the whole grade situation and letting kids pick and choose hobbies and stick to it, then let us know. Or saw loser stories, whether yourself, siblings, or your own children. Or your husband. I'm pretty sure my brother flipped a table. So, yeah, if you've got any stories like that, that you want to put some family members on blast. I would, as if, I would have never said out of all of your siblings. I know who I would have said would have done it. Yeah.

Yeah. Nope. No. It's crazy, isn't it? Like I say, it's different things. I'm not naming names, don't worry. Yeah, but it's funny, different things because my brother is very calm, or collected in most situations.

But yeah, when it comes to games, like you say, he's competitive. And even if you're having a conversation and a topic comes up and he feels very strongly about, like, it's a debate. That's my brother, actually. I don't know about the game thing. Maybe we was never allowed to play. It's what I'm saying. But it's not an open debate.

Like, oh, I see your point of view, but I really think mine might know it. It's a full on thing where you wish. I am right in this situation. Where you wish you never meant bought it up. Oh, all the time. I'm like, right. End it now. That my brother couldn't do that actually.

Sorry, bro. But anyway, yeah, so let us hear. It's probably more sibling stories now because we always go back to our experiences. But, yeah, kids, husbands, siblings, parents. I don't know. You might have your mum flipping out of the table because she's lost.

Who knows? Let us know and we'll put them on blast next week. Yeah, definitely. Right, see you soon. Have a good week. Put that tissue in the pocket. Oh, no, I put it in the bin, didn't we?