The Rising’s Growing Together Podcast - Injuries, Easter Chaos & Why Quality Time Matters Growing Together Podcast Ep. 13

Episode Date: May 12, 2025

In this week’s episode of Growing Together, Billie and Charlotte reflect on the chaos and joy of family life. From hilarious injuries during Easter celebrations to the heartfelt importance of anniversaries and self-care, this one’s packed with real-life moments that every parent and partner can relate to. They talk about: The highs and lows of hosting gatherings Funny reminders that yes... we’re aging Making time for your partner amidst the chaosGift-giving with intention How structured choices help kids (and parents!) Why date nights matter more than ever✨ Plus, don’t miss the lighthearted date night game that wraps it all up with laughter.📌 New episodes every Friday. Subscribe and hit the bell to never miss a moment! 🔗 Follow us on Instagram: @therising1111 👯‍♀️ Join our community of ambitious mums, women & friends. #GrowingTogetherPodcast #Parenting #Relationships #SelfCare #FamilyLife #MealPlanning #LoveLanguages

Welcome back. I'm Dillie. And I'm Charlotte. Welcome back to the podcast. Another Friday. We're here. Still going. Loving it. Loving our chat.

It's catching. Yeah. And feedback. Yeah. And people watching. It's nice. Yeah. And like I say, I've started to get people set to me now, which is good.

Yeah. And so, yeah, it's all different people that have been watching it as well. Yeah. People I wouldn't expect that would maybe want to watch it. Yeah. But they are. then they're enjoying it. So it's nice.

It's definitely reaching a lot of different people. So, yeah, who enjoy it. So good. Thank you. Yeah. It's nice that people enjoy listening to what we've got to say. Yeah. Hopefully it helps people, but we enjoy it.

So that's the main reason. So we've actually seen a lot of each other this week. We had Easter. Yeah, it's been holiday. So kids have broke up, but obviously with it being Easter, we had a little Easter party with some friends at mine. Yeah, our annual. Yeah.

It is now. So we do it last. you? Yeah. The year before last, I did the, with the bags and I did the Easter hunt. Oh, that the year before. So I don't know what we did last Easter. Oh, I don't know. I thought that was last year. No, it was the year before because I wasn't pregnant. Oh. And today then, did I do something? I can't remember. I don't know. But this year was good. This year was good. Yeah, it was nice. There wasn't as many, we didn't have all of us. No, we didn't have everyone. There was less kids. Yeah. Which was nice on the ears.

they're all a bit loud with everyone together but no it's really fun I enjoy it yeah it was different obviously not as all to be together but it was still nice to get together we celebrate

yeah because a friend of ours was open from England as well so she got to come too and some people we hadn't seen obviously since the wedding in January so yeah it was really great to catch up again and like I say the kids always have fun together

yeah and did a little Easter hunt for them nearly killed myself before nobody was actually here I didn't that happen, are you? I'm sorry, but it's just the amount you've got to explain it to everyone now, but you can't just say that. Oh, so running around the garden, just before, literally,

I think it was about 10, 15 minutes before you were all supposed to be there. Yeah. Running around, obviously, like, putting things in the garden for the kids, um, and for some reason, like, it got a bit windy. So I've got AstroTurf in my garden, but Liam's not stuck it to the ground. So as I'm practically running, the corner has whipped up in the air from the wind, obviously straight on my feet wiped me out completely. I've gone flying and landed on the gravel and literally, in my head it happened so slow motion. I remember being in the air like, oh no, wash on the floor.

But like it happened so quick. I have no idea. Like I couldn't save myself. I didn't have to stop myself. I literally just remember lying on the floor like. And you literally hit every heart. Yeah. So I've brushed my chin.

I've scraped all my chest. I broke, I think my finger and my thumb. Scraped all the skin off my hand. My knee, I don't know if you could see this, but I've got a massive scabble on my knee. The whole back of my calf is like bruised, like that big of a bruise on my leg. And I've definitely broken my big toe.

It's black and blue and I can't touch it. It's so sore. So yeah, so she comes to the door all creamed up. Well, luckily you were going to be a bit late anyway. A friend of ours that was driving from an hour away, she was going to be a bit late. So I just messaged our other friend and was like, if you've not already left, give me 10, 15 minutes.

I had to go cry in the corner. But, oh my God, I can't believe I did that. Like, how I hurt myself so badly from tripping over. I don't know if that's a sign of our age now or more. I don't know. Do you know what I mean? Like, I feel like I've been in a car accident. And the next day, all my next.

was sore from let obviously smashing my head down that i really think that says a lot about no one old i'm not saying that wrong whatsoever but that we're feeling things more do you know what my god yeah what leon used to moan about his football injuries and like takes longer to like get over things i used to think oh you should moan but oh my god i've been hobbling around for days and yeah i'm well it's like me actually i forgot my finger look that looks like nothing but i'm telling you now, I caught one out. It looks blue black. Now it doesn't hurt. I don't feel anything. It's probably dead now, to be fair. But when it happened, I just, was at work, caught it kind of between two doors, had a moment, you know, when you're on around everywhere

and you're so stupid because you don't know what you're in pain. Then you can tears come out. And you obviously cite yourself up, you're all right, you're all right. And that whole night, I felt like all I was doing, it was moaning about my finger. You know, like I've done three labours, nothing, you know, like whatever, but this finger, I was, oh. my finger, all my finger. I think I just get looking at him. Oh, shut out. You know what I mean?

And then in the night, it was just felt like you, like, doof, that pulsing. Oh, that's right. Well, if I just feel like holding it in the air. Like, that's how my foot felt. Like, it hurt in the moment, like the scrape, like the skin, like, burn. That hurt. But later on, it was the inner side. That was pulsing.

Like, obviously trying to heal something. And then it was like, that hurt more. And obviously, I lie on my side. Well, I can't lie to that side because, like, the sore bit of my knee is. touching the mattress then I have to lie this side but this isn't my comfortable side so then it's like I was having a crack night's sleep

so like you say two labours no medication tattoos on my ribs and a massive one on my leg like yeah I've got quite a good pain threshold I think but I literally laid on the floor I debated even getting up and I was like can can I get up like have I broke sort of thing

because like it was on the floor and actually looking back in the garden I must have jumped from probably this wall to where you are like that's how fair i flew in the sky yeah so you did they attack you and um and then i did i ended up i was like liam's inside there's no he's not gonna come as i'm gonna say me i hobbled through the door and he was like what's wrong with you and then i couldn't talk because i was in that much pace i didn't i hadn't even looked down to see like if i'd break my ankle or something i literally just was like hobbling and he was

went from like what's the matter of you to what's wrong what's wrong? Like you've been mugged in your own garden I'm like I can't talk and he keeps asking and like shut up

just wait a second just give me a but oh god yeah that was that was an eventful start to our experience I haven't hurt myself like that in a long time

but geez yeah that's what I mean it just shows how it hits us a bit more now I mean my thing is a bit different but obviously the whole like doof doof you know proper

And obviously, like, having a 10-month-old that wants to pick him up, like, this finger and this hand, like, it hurts both hands to pick him up. So I can't. And he's so heavy. I can't put any pressure on these fingers. And, oh, God, it's been, yeah, really annoying. I'm just lucky that I work from home more now, so I haven't actually... I haven't put a shoe on. I'm literally walking around in slippers for three years. That's why with my finger. I couldn't put my glove on for a while. That was the problem. Yeah, because fingers and stuff, that really, like... Just a touching of it. Yeah. Well, that's like my toe, anything that touches it, I can just about get a pair of socks on. Yeah, you're like, you're like, oh, jeez. But the party went well. No more. Oh, she, I was going to say no more accidents, but they're sort of, well, there wasn't accidents, obviously.

It was literally the day for people to hurt themselves, because what happened after? The chair. Oh, yeah, Lear nearly fell through the chair. Morgan nearly slipped. The other one. Because the sun loungers were a bit sun damaged, and obviously they sat on the end and it was ricked. Like, both of them ricked within five minutes of each other. So Liam nearly ended up, like, on his back with the baby. What else happened? There was a few. Cason got hit with the ball about two, five times, like in the face and he rolled his ankle and stuff.

And then it was a few things. We were all a bit like, oh, what's going to have it next? Yeah, literally we said, like, who's going to be next? God, it was a good, good day. Nice to get everyone together. It always is, though, isn't it? Yeah. And what we've started doing, which is, like, a real good tip.

Because, like, it's really me and you that tend to be the hosts when we have our, our, friends get together and not that it's a lot but it can be a lot to get everything organised especially like if you're working and you've got the kids and stuff to be sure you've got more of an ad rather than to enjoy it doesn't it sometimes you know of that not pressure because we will relax but the same time it's just making sure that you've got enough of everything you've been to the shops and that you've not been to the shops too early that everybody started eating all the staff you know that kind of thing so what we've started doing which I think worked really well is we all bring something

and like I say a lot of the times when we've hosted barbecues and stuff Liam ends up in front of the barbecue the entire day which isn't so bad in this kind of weather but when it's summer it's not nice and also then all right

I bet you say everyone will go to him to stand with the barbecue tab to have a time like you say yeah just to have like he's done you know he's everybody's bits done and they can enjoy what we're here so we did bring a plate

but actually it was all kind of cooked then or stuff that didn't even need cooking so straight away way out and backed it all out everybody helped themselves not too much effort clean up was simple so yeah I think that was really really good really really easy everything got rending it yeah yeah it was good good yeah so what about you you had your anniversary oh yeah I did they'd have my anniversary just as he's holiday start thanks for that um but it was nice Mitch said I don't know the day before whenever

the kids are out from I don't know one two o'clock until the next day and I was like okay cool what we're doing the kids would be out but not actually what we were doing I was like that's fun we'll do something anyway yeah well that day comes

next day I think Lexi was out anyway she lets her sleep over don't she actually does yeah and uh can't keep her in and Morgan I'd gone straight out with his friends and he was you know like building den and making bike tracks and just doing real kid boy stuff, do you know what I mean?

90s kids stuff. Yeah, just real stuff and it was just really nice. So as the time got closer, we walked over to see him and just say, look, do you want to start packing up because you are going to go soon because we're going to go out? Well, his lip went a little bit and I see his face drop a bit and I was a bit like, oh, you know, I don't want to send him upset, you know what I mean? Not that he's fine everywhere, but just obviously he's in the moment. Stod's, yeah, yeah. So I felt a bit bad, well, we both felt a bit bad. So we agreed, okay, Mason will be home later anyway, whatever, whatever.

So we left it at that, and we had the plan that we were going to go out on the bike for the day and then go for lunch or go have dinner later on, whatever. Yeah, Mitch's new motorbike. Mitch's new bike and back, yeah, a little toy. So everything kept getting a bit later and later, obviously, the day's going on. Because obviously we're, first we were obviously waiting for Morgan to go and then now he's not. He's staying at home. there were more maybe waiting for Mason to come home and work and so on so on and then later

on Morgan come back but it was a bit upset it was basically two's company three is a crowd situation yeah they're all fine now one of those things yeah but in the moment obviously then I don't even want to leave Morgan let alone who with I just you know felt like I didn't want to leave him um well then me and Mitch have got into this kind of you know like we've got the um sort of thing because we know the day hasn't gone to plan. Then we don't know what to do because the plan's not going to plan. We're trying not to like get angry with each other.

Do you know what I mean? So we kind of just, we're in our separate ways. We're like five minutes because Mitch had given me like so many different options and I think I was just in one of those feelings. But it wasn't anyone's fault. I think I was just like just one of those feelings. And I'm being a bit like a kid really, you know what I mean? So I think we separated for a bit.

Yeah, just yeah. So we separated for a bit. And then he came back and then. And he said an option, I was like, yeah, great, fine, let's do it. So we literally was like, we've got to do it, otherwise we'll end up staying in. And it's great, don't get me wrong, we love staying in. That's fine, we chill, it's nice. But it's also nice to make the effort and grow out.

Especially, you know, it's like an anniversary. You feel like you have to do something a bit different to your day-to-day life. And we hadn't really done anything all day because of obviously hanging around. That gets me in a mood. Yeah, so if I'm hanging around for something and like, like you say, you know, I think I was probably gone. I think that was probably it. And again, it wasn't anyone's fault.

It was just the way the day had gone. Yeah. And yeah, so we did. We went out of the bite, went for dinner, and it was lovely. Do you know what I mean? Obviously, things could have gone a lot different. We could, you know, be snuffed back to me or whatever, whatever. You'd let it, like, ruin bother you.

But I do you think, yeah, it was important that we've not really important, but just make an effort, go out, get out. Yeah. Do I mean, as much as we would have probably, like, chidden at the same time, we'd probably been annoyed with ourselves. Like, we haven't done anything. You can do this any day. Exactly that.

Yeah, it was nice. Card, made a card. Yeah, made each other a card, obviously. So that was nice. We don't do anything extraordinary, nothing like that. Yeah. Yeah, that was it. Nice.

Yeah. I saw something the other day and it was like, we don't spend loads of money on gifts for certain things. We just save up and we spend time and travel together or something like that. Well, there you go. Yeah, that's it. It's great. Some people's, what's it called, their love language is gift-giving and receiving gift.

So for some people, it's great. And obviously, when you're younger or early in your relationship, we've made, you know, the point of getting each other gifts and stuff. But after like 20 years together, it's like, yeah, really. He was like, I bought you everything you bloody want. I'm going to say, and it's something in particular that you think that they've always wanted or whatever, whatever. But I hate dying for the sake of buying. That really drives me insane, you know, don't buy me shit just because of it.

Because it's a day, you've gone out and spent unnecessary money on something that I don't actually need or want. But yeah, if there's something lingering that I've been waiting for or that I like, but I just haven't treated myself and you go get it. Exactly. Yeah, that means more, I think. I'd rather wait and do those when it's. it's necessary rather than actually have a birthday gift or an anniversary gift, like specifically on that day. I'm quite happy to...

Yeah, I think we're quite lucky in the fact that we think we've said this before me and Mitch that usually if we want something, we'll just go and get it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Which is a good thing, obviously, but then you get them days of celebrations. Yeah. You've got nothing to best. That's it.

Me and me and the same. We don't really wait that often unless there's something a little, you know, a bit more expensive than, yeah, sometimes that you do have to wait. But yeah, generally if I see something and I want something, I'll just get it. Yeah, yeah, obviously within reason. Yeah, so it's like you don't always have these stuff that you want or ideas. Because Liam was like, if you tell me what to get you, I'm more than happy to get it. Because I don't want to buy something for the sake of it or get something wrong or get something you don't like.

So I totally get it. And more often than not that we do that, yeah. Just because it's birthday anniversary, it's not necessary, but if there's something, we'll treat ourselves. Or if you know it's something that I want like, not this necklace actually, but my silver chain. had broke yeah so yeah I think it actually

fell on our wedding anniversary so he actually went out and got me the chain because he knew that I needed it yeah

but it signifies obviously what yeah your necklace and it broke it and that it means a lot to you

and he got another one for you do you know what I mean or you really like it yeah but again not just

because it would it just I just think you've obviously just thought oh that'll that'll feel the gap

you know what I mean of other gifts I mean it's not always like that is it yeah into the thought yeah

and And, but sometimes it is nice to have a surprise. So sometimes it is nice for him to get something. I saw this and I thought of you. I thought you'd like it. But that doesn't have to be a big gift. No, it's just an effort. It's the effort, isn't it?

Something from the supermarket. Exactly. It does that all the time. I've said that before. I said that before. Even just picking me up a Mars bar just to show that you know what I mean, see it and go, oh, she'll like that. Yeah.

Well, he'll see like weird flavors of crisps drinks and like, oh, I thought this was up your street kind of thing. Mitch is good with, I'm not so good to be there. Leans too fussy for that. I always see that. I'm in the shop and I'm like, he always gets me something. And I'm like, well, can I get here? I don't really does a shot too, yet. And that's it as well.

Leave does all the shopping. So I'm very rarely even in the shop. I'm same. So if I start doing that, I'll end up leaving the shop without the one thing he probably had sent me to the shop for. Yeah. Happens for the time because I'm not used to it. Yeah, exactly. I did that yesterday, actually.

Mason asked me to get one thing from the shop. I came out with like 10 things. The only thing with one thing you didn't ask me to do, do what I mean? Yeah, because we don't go often, I'm like, oh, what is it? And then I like that, you know, that I haven't had before and then I'll like, yeah. There's a war back in the shock here, that one thing. I'd say that one thing, yeah. So I'm the same actually.

But with making time and that, with our anniversary, obviously, we also try to do, you know, like weekends or nights away when we can, whether that's financially or time, work, kids, whatever that is. because as much as we do trips like I've booked to go to camping again I told you I wasn't putting that's the booker yet you're off tomorrow yeah I'm off tomorrow so um even of going with you know everything we do is revolved around children and that's fine because that's our family and whatever but and you're in that season of life exactly but don't forget you know about you too so yeah as much as we can we try and um book things to to do things together whether it's dinner or just the kids are out for the night or actually going away and even for a night or actually going on a holiday or

we've got we uh well it actually got cancelled last year for the motor GP um I bought it yeah yeah present for Mitch yeah so it got cancelled but it's been rolled over obviously to this year and so we've got that's something to look forward to as a little weekend away for us um when's that's that's November okay um but that's another thing that you know that obviously it's more Mitch but it's um still something to get it's a nice exactly it's an experience and memories and a weekend with just us too. So yeah, it's nice. I think it's that simple, wouldn't you? Yeah, yeah. Or it's easily not done. No, like I say, I think if you don't make the effort to focus on it, then before you know, another month's gone, another month's gone and it's

like, it's like the last time. It doesn't have to be an expensive thing. No, like you say, you can make it work to what's suitable for your family. It might just be you go off and have lunch together for an hour. Or go to a walk. Or for a walk even, yeah. There's loads of things you can do without costing um i i heard um what's the rule two and two and two so every two weeks you should um have a date night every two months you should um go away for a night and every two years you should do a holiday together oh wow not that i stick to that but i've heard that no no that you try like say more if you struggle with making it happen then you can follow that like that so yeah um so yeah every two weeks or just it like to be yeah all yes every two weeks

isn't going to be isn't going to be easy for for everyone every two weeks but even if it's once a month once every three four months and then every two years um but yeah we've uh just booked as well we're going to uh Barcelona so don't break your tea um we're going to Barcelona in May um nice so you too just me and Liam so again, this was up for, should it be all four of us? Should it just be the two of us? A friend of mine who I've known for years that I went to college with. The last year, two years, actually, she's actually moved to the Cayman Islands.

Oh. So she's staying in north of Spain, like just north of Barcelona, with her new husband. I went back for her wedding in August. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I saw her in August, briefly, because obviously it's her wedding. if you don't get to spend too much time with the wedding couple. But yeah, it would be nice because she knew she was coming over, so we knew that we were going to go.

But it was like, do we take the boys? Because it would be nice to take them for like a little trip and for obviously to introduce them properly to the boys. They've not met Hayden yet. So we thought about it, but she's not that close to Barcelona airport. So we're going to have to fly to Barcelona, which is quite easy. an hour of flight so that would the boys would have been fine but we're going to have to hire well we were looking at possibly two trains but now I think we're just going to hire a car

straight from the airport because it's about an hour and a half drive further north and I thought we'd have to hire a car then we'd have to get um car seats then we'd obviously all of us flying instead of um two of us and then we were potentially going to do um maybe two or three nights and I thought that's just a lot of fath for all four of us and actually we've just done a big holiday with all of us in February and we haven't been away to get obviously since or had a date night or gone for dinner or anything anything yeah so I was like right everything just the two haven't done anything just the two of us so yeah like we are normally quite good at doing little things like that but obviously with the baby still being small and

holidays and stuff yeah the last couple of months are just flown by so they have it'd be nice we're going to um just do that just for two of us now nice so and we're going to go for three nights which will be good so yeah we'll be able to go for like late dinner and stuff. It's just not worrying about any, obviously he's still worry about them. Or do a bit like kid friendly things. Like she even said by, oh, maybe we'll go golf or go

carting or something. It's like, yeah, whatever. Yeah. We'll do something. So yeah, they know that would be nice. So we're doing that. But it was funny because I was messaging her and I was like, right, so we're getting this flight. We'll probably get in, you know, early evening. So we'll just do something

chill for that night. And then I went back the message and I was like, how old do I sound because I'm travelling all day I'm going to do with something easy and then I was like I'm travelling like yeah it's going to take about a couple of hours

four or five hours travelling in total but like it's up the top of spade it's not bad much and then I wrote back after and I was like God I sound weird no ignore that it doesn't have to be a chilled night for the first night especially because the last night

they're flying early the next morning and we're probably going to fly early the next morning to get back as well so it was like the last night will be, yeah, chill. But then also if I make the first night chill and the last night, chill, we've only got one night. Come on, now, Bill.

And then I was like, God, I sound so old. Maybe my kids are a good excuse. I say what we do do, though, a lot. If we're not with the kids and we go away, we always like, oh, the kids are like that. Oh, the kids did like that. Yeah, well, they didn't actually speak about them the entire time. Just us do we're actually just talking about the kids anyway, you know?

But I think that's every parent. Yeah. I know some people make, like, rules if they go up. the dinner. We're not allowed to talk about the kids. Oh. Like we're not allowed to talk about the kids. I think that's a bit hard. I don't think, I don't think I'm that bothered about. No, I don't think. It just makes us laugh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't mind talking about them when, when it's just the two of us.

But I know some people do that. It's just funny. And you go away for your kind of your time and you end up, it's all you know, all you want is like time together away from them and you spend up like, oh, looking at photos and how much I'd like where we are. or yeah we'll bring them back we'll come back again and bring them you might as well just took them out into basketball oh it's funny but it is important it is no it's nice to have as easily not so you like you've said the time just passes you haven't even had a yeah afternoon lunch or whatever whatever it is you know what I mean because of everything that we do or you're always like spending your money on stuff for all of you well you don't prioritize it no then you don't prioritize yourself or you don't prioritize you as a couple so it's like anything that you look at sending money on it's it's always for like the

family. Yeah. But actually, when you've got a big family, like, to, five of you to go is a lot more than just you and me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like sometimes, like, you do, yeah, you have to plan both. So, yeah, and you can do, like, little things just the two of you more often because it doesn't cost as much as, yeah, take it all five in the year away. I mean, sometimes even the kids go, we're not coming. And I think, you go everywhere and do everything. You are going to comment on one thing. I think if I said that to my mom and when I was younger, do you know what I mean?

Yeah. Never going anywhere again then. You've spoiled a little cow or whatever, you know. I think we just give them too much, too much, generally. Yeah. In a nice way, but I do feel like I, I think I said you before, I'm like giving them so much options. Like, why are I just cooked dinner and that's your dinner?

Yeah. Why am I giving them all an individual option? And then sometimes stressing just myself out because of it. Yeah, because it puts you out to give you that many options. I don't think I've ever was asked what I wanted for anything. Dinner to wear what you're given is what I was told exactly that like sit on the table I finish a day given a choice are you mad like yeah no I don't even remember really I probably did actually saying this I better say this now before I forget I want to say you remember I explained

myself as a child I want to my first ever honestly right so I went to my mom's not long after she had all the old videos out I've just got to say this quick because I keep forgetting to say it I am not that child I thought you're not like Lexi at all I wasn't very happy was a very positive I was just bubbly and miserable and really whingy well that's what I see

on the video anyway so yeah I'm gonna just put that out there I'm sorry mom and dad I definitely was a wingy child I was nothing like my daughter could I've changed hey oh that's fun so I just had to literally knit that in there

because I kept getting to mention it and I just wanted people to know yeah I know I was a miserable child okay it's probably to moly I was wondering like wingy like really like everything I was saying was really like

me, me, me, me, me, me. I think everyone goes through that age of the windiness as well. Well, I don't know how. Suck on every video that my mom's getting out forever. Maybe it's just your child. It was just me, just me. Not your move. But yeah, I do think maybe just me that I do give mine too many options.

But at the same time, I'm not saying my parents were like really, really strict. I scared him because I wasn't. But, you know, like I don't want to be so not an approach. Well, again, because not that my parents were, you know, but I'll still want that relaxed relationship, you know? I think I've managed to, you know, get, they don't take the milk out of me because we're that close. They still respect their authority.

I think you've nailed that balance, to be honest. Yeah, because like you say, I think that with our parents, it was, with they're the parents, you're the child. Like you say, you weren't given options of, you know, do you want to go to summer camp or not? what do you want for dinner, where should we go away? Like, it was almost like the parents make the decisions and you go along. Yeah.

Like you say, I'm sure they asked us. Yeah, they probably do. To a degree. But generally, the concern was, the parents make the final decision. And even though that's still the case, like you make the final decision, I feel like now we involve our kids a lot more in choice, in decisions, and, you know, what do you think about that? Yeah.

Which is not a bad thing. But sometimes I think. Some decisions and final decisions from parents are made too much of what the child's saying. I mean, actually, what the child would benefit from would be a different, you know, decision, if that makes sense. Yeah, so they take their thoughts and feelings into consideration too much. So they actually make a decision not what they want yet, all they need, rather than they need. Yeah. Now, I had this conversation with Kaysen earlier today, actually, because we were talking about summer school.

Yeah. because last year he didn't actually go and then this year obviously we've got the baby so like Liam's watching the baby anyway so he could actually be at home while I'm working but I was like I found a really good one

and I was like it's only for four weeks so you've got like bloody 12 weeks or whatever it is school holidays like this fraction of the holiday four weeks and it's science experiments it's water sports it's going mini golf it's going to the beat like it sounds great well fun and like even like the learning side of it, they would learn about the Egyptians and, like, cool things.

So, right up his street. And then he looked interested, but then he's like, I don't want to go. I was like, typical case, and doesn't want to go in. No, don't leave the house. And then I was like, I was like, look, you might actually have to go. I might be booking it. And he keeps going to him, have you booked it? Have you booked it?

I'm like, not yet, but I think I'm going to book something, at least for a couple of the weeks. Maybe not the full four weeks, but you need to do something. Like, and he's already kind of turning if he's nose. Yeah, he's like, I don't want to go. And he was going to be, I don't want to go. And I said to him, I was like, look, I know that you don't want to. But ultimately, I'm making the decision for you because I know what's best. And I don't want you home for 12 weeks of the summer, bored doing nothing. I said, it's good for your brain. And then he went, I get to do what I want at nannies. And I went, right? Yeah. And I said, you do get to do what you want a nannies. He's exactly why you're not going. And I said I was like, but you've got rules when you're here. And I said, the reason why you can go to nannies and do what you want is because that's sometimes and that's a treat because you're a good boy and you follow the rules and you do what you need to do when you're at home.

But no, he's not having going to summer school. But this is what I'm saying. I don't think I wouldn't have, it wouldn't have been an option for me. It would have been no, apart from my grandparents, there would have been no one really to have me. So, yeah. But like, we're fortunately in the beginning. position where he could stay at home or he could go.

So ultimately the decision is mine. Your decision is I don't have to send it. So I'm like, do I send him when he, I know he doesn't want to go? But I think he'll have a good time. Yeah, it'll be good for him because he's not going to be bored. And I don't have to deal with him, you know, on the base station. But at the same time you don't want to send him crying, would you? You're all the guy, you know.

Yeah, I don't want to send him when we've got the resources to actually not have to go. Yeah. So, yeah, it's thinking what to do. It's a hard on. Because I, well, mine are all right with some. Actually, last year, Lexi didn't do it last year. But she had the backup of a cousin, she was with her auntie. So, yeah.

But I think it's good that they go somewhere. So I think it's a really good couple of hours or a few hours, whatever, doing different activities, being around different people, even different, like monitors or teachers or whatever it is. And yeah, I think it is good for them. But at the same time, I don't. get if, like with Lexi, if she said that she didn't want to go, what, if I genuinely didn't have any other options, what would I do?

Yeah. You know? She wouldn't have a choice. I wouldn't have that choice, would I? She would have to, someone would have to look after her during that time. And that's what that program summer school is for, you know, with me? From Brack and Paris. Exactly.

So, yeah, I am lucky on that side. But no, mine generally do love it. Morgan would never want it to stuff. I think I liked to add him on, actually, last year, because I'd only done, like, a few weeks. sort of thing and then he went to add on for the rest of the summer for him. Bless him so I did say to Kays and I was like you don't have

an option to not go but you can either go to the one that I found or if you want me to check where Lexi and Morgan maybe go and you want to do it with the people then maybe I'll do that but yeah I did read the I don't know if I've read it or saw it

it was like a child professional whatever they were but they said like an article thing yeah something uh don't know if they were child psychiatrists or whatever it was oh yeah they basically said that don't give kids unlimited options yeah too much for kids to to process and they're not at the right age and stuff but and also it gives you a bit of more authority as well give them two choices this or that yeah and then it's easier for them to make the decision they're more inclined to do what it is you're asking them to do yeah it as well because like for example

do you want this for dinner or that for dinner? Yeah. Rather than what do you want for dinner. Yeah. Because you both end up getting annoyed because they might want something that you don't have and then you offer them something that you do have and they don't want it because they want what they have where you ask me what I want and that's what I want. It's like you can get yourself into like a bit of a muddle. I'm not like if you go to a restaurant.

Well you just let me just give you loads of options. It's like I know. I didn't know what I wanted. I don't know. Even a menu. You know when you've got so much choice on a menu and I'm like oh my God. Where does it? Yeah. So imagine kids.

Yes. When you put it like that, yeah, that is. So I remember hearing that once and thinking, so I have always done that with Kaysen actually, rather than ask what do you want for dinner? Yeah. Do you want this or do you want that? Yeah.

And then it's an easier. Usually we have more or less have chosen. I think it is when we haven't chose and kind of it comes that day. And it does. It makes, I feel it a lot more stressful when it's no one. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Because if someone else people I wanted to be there, I wouldn't know.

Even if they give me the two options. The worst decision of the day. well especially for us because we do it on the day we need to plan it is definitely better ahead the only thing i've found for me personally is that say i've said i'm going to have spagball on wednesday for example it comes to wednesday i don't really fancy a spagg ball i have to you know i like fancy the food that's the only that's the only problem i've had once and i'm like so he lives a bit like that but i think growing up without the choice yeah that's your problem i'm the oldest do what you're told get with the given So, yeah, for me, it doesn't matter if I fancy or not. Put it in front of me and I'll eat it. So I would never have that problem.

And like even Liam likes to have something different every day. Yeah, right. And if he had like spaghetti by and age yesterday, he wouldn't want to have cause for the next day. It's hard, isn't it? Whereas I'm not fast. Oh, you just go. Not fast. Like, obviously I don't want it five days in a row.

No. But like even with lunch, I don't plan lunch and lunches are a bit harder to make sure you've got all the bits and stuff. So I said to Liam, like really one thing I've said on which. we're still not done, is to plan our dinners a week ahead or at least three, four days ahead. This will happen for the next few days. And I said, even lunch,

I could pick one lunch for the week. And I'd happily eat that every day and know that it's there and I don't have to make that decision every day. It's the decision. It is the decision fatigue that you get by making decisions all day. I do think, yeah, it's definitely better.

I've only had that once when I, you know, when you talk, oh, we've got that today. We don't fancy it. Yeah. But it would definitely work for us. We've stopped it. don't get wrong, we'd definitely need to get back onto it. It definitely worked for us, like, writing the meals out for the week of what you've got.

And then actually, you know, reusing your bit of maybe your dinner for the next lunch or using, you know, like a big batch of mints for two or three or four, however many different dinners. But just a little bit of time. It could be like 10, 20 minutes to plan it. Make sure that in the next day or so you go get all your bits and then you're done. Yeah, it is. Because I have obviously trouble with my weight. trying to get my weight on, don't I?

I know everyone says it over the opposite, but it is a struggle. It's a struggle to keep my weight on. And that's why it's so important for me to eat. I need to eat. Do you know what I mean? And sometimes I could go just all day by having a cracker or just a yoghurt or da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

And then I get to the point of having dinner. And because it's not prepped, then I really can't decide. And I go over hungry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it wouldn't matter. I couldn't even put the food to my mouth then because I've gone that far. You know what I mean?

So I've ever said you today I've really tried today eating But my belly still hurts So I think what's the point No but it's definitely Better for us at home planning ahead Yeah Because I do find then it comes

I'm asking everyone what they want And it's just coming of stress And yeah no I'm the same as well Because like I wait to the point That I'm past it Or I'm really hungry And then it's what can I do And get on the table in the next 10 minutes

Yes Like what can I throw together Exactly And then it always end up the same kind of thing not much thought into it and then it's boring and or like I say I just go all day without eating and drinking

because I don't make that effort if it was there I'll probably eat it you know it's that one of them isn't it that's it someone but like chicken salad and from oh great I'm going to do I'm terrible I don't even make a drink yet no I thankfully at the moment because I am working from home more

like literally Liam will bring me stuff yeah that's good that's really good because otherwise I literally won't even have a drink Yeah, but I won't, and I should, even just between my patients, but I get one, well, I don't usually, to have a lunch break, usually, but because I've had to extend my diary a bit, because I'm quite busy, I've now put a 15 minute break in. That's the only time I'll go and just neck a little cup of water, that's it. Well, if you don't put that break in, oh, wouldn't, you won't do it. I wouldn't. So that's my problem, and it's funny because I'm so organised at work and I prioritize and I do everything that I should do, but outside of work, I don't know, maybe it's because I do it's so much in work, but outside of work, I don't know, maybe it's because I do it so much in work, outside of work, I don't know.

I'm like, I just don't want to make them decisions. I don't want to be that organised. I just want to, yeah, but with food and stuff. But then it's like, how do I expect to perform as I want to perform at work, at home, as a mom, as a wife, and have energy to do all the things that I need to do. I don't eat. I'm, I struggle with looking after myself better than everybody else to me. Oh, yeah. It's like, Kaysen has a pasta dinner or whatever.

I'll cut up cucumber and sweet corn and he has like a three-course meal. Do I? No. No. Do I like sweet corn and cucumber? Yes. Do you want to do my own? No.

Exactly. But before and I worked, you know, with, although obviously I work in a team now and they're great, I'm very much more my own, my own person, if you know what I mean, kind of, sort of. Whereas before I was more in with the team, and they would actually be very good at keeping on at me. Yeah. About have you at, have you drank, you know, did all this thing, which was good. which was good but I've got to do it to myself you've got to you know you've got to prioritise yourself you know yeah um 100% yeah I think that that's very and I'm not very

good at that so it's something that I need to get I think for me the biggest is taking away the decision in the moment yeah so what I have started to do is without thinking like before I even walk into my office I fill up my big flask with lemon water so that I'm going in at the beginning of the day that's like that's a habit now so that's what I do at the beginning but yeah I need to pick a lunch have it for stocked and ready for the week or even if I prep it and then it's the same lunch I have every day yeah and yeah just take the decision away and I think that will help just just be just be caring ourselves more because it's we'd do it we'd make it do it for our children or even yeah my niche I'd make Mitch you know you've got

we or you've got whatever it is you know I mean go to gym whatever it is that he has to do he's yeah but I wouldn't push myself to do no me neither and I think that's yeah we need definitely I need to get better at that. I know I've got two. But that's the first step. We're not in denial. We accept we have a problem. But then I'll go shopping for myself and never pick anything up for myself.

See all these ideas and then I'm like, I'm going to do this. And then I'll go to the shop, which is rare, or I send Liam to get the bits that I want. But then I'll forget something and then I'll have half of it and then I can't make it. And then by the time I get the other bits, some of it's gone off and then it just never happens. Yeah. Well, mine's more. I think what I eat, not many others in my house would eat. That's my problem.

Liam doesn't eat the things that I want to eat. So he's the one that cooks. And I'm like I say, I'm happy to eat whatever he's put in front of me. So I just normally just eat whatever he eats, which nine times out of ten is a really nice dinner. Yeah. But I eat more fruit and veg and things like that than he does.

So I would quite happily like to get more of that in my diet. Yeah. It's quite a Mitch cooks a lot too. We more, well, I say we're half and a year. Yeah, we are half and half and a half. But yeah, he is good at, you know, doing my scene as he, doesn't eat any of fat doing all my salad or you know like when he when he does it so otherwise I think it was me I don't think I'd be bothered to do it well that's it sometimes he'll cook with

like peppers and stuff in it and then he'll pick him out for him in and I'll eat it um or like every now and then whenever we'd have steak which we normally have out now but when we used to have it at home he'd chop up like mushrooms and onions for me for you yeah but like I say I wouldn't do it even for myself it is we do need to look after we need to sort of that out yeah definitely we deserve it we do yeah oh right a little game to finish stuff I thought like all this in a class that I was doing okay so a little this or that date night game seeing as we're speaking about date nights today this is one anniversary as well okay so little date night this or that

wicked um stargazing or watching a show oh I'd say stargazing that surprised you yeah because I'm going camping tomorrow fair enough picnic in the park or cocktails on a rooftop picnic in the park I'm really cheap and easy I yeah Mitch is lucky yeah stay in and a cuddle or dress up and go out oh well depends what day it is isn't it depends if it's my anniversary or not I'd choose to stay in and cuddle every night but obviously I think it is important to get dressed up so I'd say the cuddle generally say in a cuddle yeah movie night or game night if it's just the two of you oh I don't know I'm going to say game night but that sort of includes like we'd do like the

1% club together or something yeah because we have games like as a family yeah but I think I'd prefer to we don't I know it's ironic with what Mitch does we don't really sit and watch television I'm not afraid. You know it. I generally, you don't sit and watch television. So to sit and watch a film, that won't work. I'll just start gleating the house and I'd see someone to do, so. Right, so I got to there.

Let's go. All right then. So this or that day night. Beach sunset or city skyline? Oh, both's nice, but I think if it was just me and Liam, we like city. I was going to say, I don't think you'd do the beach, would you? Skyline.

Sandra. Yeah. That's sad. Bye. Okay. Dancing all night or talking all night? Dancing all night. I immediately answer this one for you.

You messaged me the other day, didn't you? Like, I just really want to go dancing. Yeah. No, I enjoy. And like to say, Liam likes to dance. Yeah. So, yeah, we are the couple that's on the dance. Definitely.

Definitely. I enjoy that with him. You went out the other, well, probably a year or two ago. The other night. He definitely wasn't the other night. I was like, you two went out, didn't you? For a, like, a good music. dance night out together just you too so before we got pregnant um yeah case you used to go to my mum's

on a fight night so a couple times we yeah on for dinner and stuff but yeah on a random we just decided that we were going to go out late i think we didn't even go out to about 10 half 10 which is yeah but like whoa yeah that's her back in the day thing but we did we literally went to uh near us where they play you know cheesy music i mean it that we love yeah good music and cheesy music and yeah it's great yeah we did it a few i loved it i loved it when you you sent the picture through, looking, grang, good on, you do. Okay, surprise date or planned itinerary? Oh, that's hard.

It's the one who likes pen and paper. I'm going to say probably planned so that I know what I'm doing. But Liam did surprise me with a date night once from what I can remember. It was when the new Mission Impossible, no, not Mission Impossible. The new Top Gun film came out. Yeah. He was like, oh, I've planned us to go somewhere late. And I was like, what?

He never plans for us to go anywhere. And it was because the movie had come out and it was on an English and Torreika. That's nice. Yeah, it was nice to have a little surprise. It is nice to have a little surprise. Yeah, so I enjoyed that. But yeah, generally, probably plan. Yeah, it's nice to have that thought, obviously, of the surprise.

But if you're going to do something, you'd like to plan it together. Yeah. Road trip or stay-stacation. Oh. Stay-kate. What does that mean? So a staycation is like staying in the country that you live. going somewhere for like the weekend and like staying somewhere for the weekend like camping

like why I do an idiot so that or like a road trip I guess what it means there is to go to more than one place I'd say so road trip is probably getting and going isn't it yeah getting and going and stopping in a few places somewhere a bit further out I don't really know because we tend to you go yeah you literally go far further away as possible but I have said I'd like to do more around Spain so yeah probably road trip yeah we should we should discover more yeah really in um when we lived in england um because lynn's from derby that's about a four hour drive from portsmouth so every now and then we would jump in the car and we'd drive up to to derby so we enjoyed jumping in the car yeah oh me and Mitch would prefer in the car so we did it last year it was summer

and we said right instead of having like a summer holiday because the prices are just ridiculous because it's summer and we have it all year right we don't know the most of it but it's actually that enjoyable in summer for us personally because it's too busy, it's more expensive. I don't feel that the service is as good to sum up. I'm sorry, but everyone's overrun. It is, it is. And so I've kind of wrote off, you know, enjoying summer how everyone else would come on a holiday and enjoying summer. So we tried to just make the most of what we had around us sort of thing.

You know, instead of going away, let's just have a day trip here and a day trip there. So we had a day trip to like, where did I go? Mahaka. Yeah. Went there and did like the cowboy thing or. Yeah, you had a day in Benadourm and went to like Terramitika, you know, and literally did day trips out like that instead of just going to one place and sitting on... Well, you're not having to pay for accommodation, are you?

It's already expensive to do those things in the day anyway. And to add on accommodation, like, we still get that holiday feel. And the things that we don't actually do in our own place. Exactly that. So, yeah, that's... I only do those things when people visit me. Oh, let's go here, listen it. We don't actually do ourselves. Yeah, it is true.

No, I need to do the same thing. Maybe we can plan a couple things in the suburbs. But also, like, jumping in the car and driving to, you know, places and staying over. Like we did for Madrid, that was great. That was brilliant. And we need to do another one. That was such like a quick thing and it was really good. Yeah.

It was really good. Okay. Last one. Cooking together, a restaurant. Restaurant. Cooked. Cooked. What's that?

If I asked do. If I have to cut my own salad. There you go then. Yeah. So you do... Restaurant. Yeah, definitely restaurant. For Chinese.

Oh, yeah. Chinese, Asia way. Yeah, definitely restaurant or a nice takeaway. Yeah. That good. That good. It's about making the time. Yeah.

So if you haven't already, put some time in the diary with your significant other. Yeah, or do you get any tips or tricks on how to make that time. Yeah. You know, some people struggling just getting the time, let alone doing anything. Yeah. When you, you know what I mean? Yeah, because obviously it depends on, you know, childcare. We are very lucky.

with our stuff. So, yeah. I know some people that don't have child care and they do like a date night in the living room when the kids have gone to bed. Yeah, that's... But like, rather than just sit on their phones or sit, which and...

It's making that effort. Like, it's no, we switch everything off. We put some music on. We actually have dinner. We put some candles that, you know, you can make effort. Yeah. It is.

It's all about making effort. A million percent. Yeah. Make that effort. Even for yourself. Yeah. If not for your significant other, then do it for yourself.

You deserve it. You deserve it, girl. Take care, guys. Bye. Thank you. Thank you.