The Rising’s Growing Together Podcast - New Year Routines, Family Reset and Why You Must Advocate for Your Health

Episode Date: January 10, 2026

New year routines, family resets, parenting structure and why self advocacy in healthcare matters are all part of this honest conversation about January life as working moms.January brings a mix of fresh energy, pressure, routines, and overwhelm. In this episode of Growing Together, we talk honestly about transitioning into the new year while balancing work, family life, mental health, and expectations that come with resolutions.We share what easing back into routines really looks like, why kids thrive on structure after the holidays, and how family activities and hobbies help everyone feel grounded again. The conversation naturally shifts into something deeper and incredibly important: advocating for your health and trusting your instincts in medical situations.From navigating doctors appointments to preparing questions and speaking up when something feels off, this episode is a reminder that self advocacy matters in parenting, health, and everyday life.If January feels heavy or overwhelming, this conversation will make you feel seen, grounded, and supported.Subscribe for weekly real life conversations about motherhood, work, mindset, and growing together through every season.

Hi everyone. Hey. Welcome back to another episode of The Ritings Grown together with me, Billy. And me, Charlotte. So, first week of Jan. Yay! I nearly said a first week back then, but it's not week back. I've had two days back at work.

And the kids have had three days back at school. Yeah. Quite nice, actually. Just nice. It's only just getting to a routine. People are like January, you know, Christmas is over, like all the new year, new me shit. But actually, I've really easy. into it slowly.

Yeah, I have too. Because like I say, I've had days back at work, but then bank holidays with the Spanish Christmas and the kids have only just gone back. Hayden's not going back to nursery until Monday. Yeah. So it's like, yeah, that in between. We're starting, but we're not like full throttle yet. Yeah.

Kind of back at work, but we still don't really know what day of the week it is. But it's nice because it after, I feel like it's like one of the longest holidays as well for us as, as parents is Christmas time. Because I know some for us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But actually a full block of time off. usually is the Christmas period for everyone at the same time. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. So it does feel nice that we're not like going full full throttle. Although I did feel like I didn't really get started to even like warm up a bit. You know what I mean? But in that respect, I appreciate that too. Like we were saying, like when you put that pressure on you to start the new year on the first with all these, you know, resolutions. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Don't do, basically. Whereas I feel like I haven't really done that. but and I haven't done any of the don't do's. I've done a few things that I want to do rather than stop doing something. Ethan Liu had come back from the shops this morning. I was like, oh, I got some coffee pods and some shandies. And I was like, I was actually going to try and go no caffeine and no alcohol.

And he was like, oh, well, you didn't tell me. I was like, no, I didn't. It's fine. So I probably not going to do that. Thought about it. I thought about it. I never said it. It's only because I haven't fancied.

food for a couple of weeks. I actually haven't had one. Yeah. So then I was like, oh, I might do it, but then now I've got a copy. Now they're there. It's fine. Yeah. I'm, I'm, yeah, I'm a bit more because I'm, you know, like, no one's telling me to, no one's telling me to at all, but I feel because it's a bit like that, I'm a bit more like, well, I don't want to, yeah? Thanks, I'll do it when I want it. Don't like being told for you. I feel a bit like that. I don't even know why, because nobody's even telling me to. It's the pressure of just a new year, isn't it? Like, you look forward to it for things because it does give you that kind of kick up the ass and that like

fresh start like feel like I can start something psychologically I feel more prepared to like start but like you say when it's too much all at once it's too much but I feel like for me we've moved into the new studio Hayden's moved into his bedroom I've decutted the house a lot like I just feel really and that's made you feel good though yeah I feel like it hasn't made you feel if no no different or shit. It's actually going, J-Wart, this is nice.

It feels good. Yeah, it feels good. I feel organized. I feel, yeah, much clearer in my head because there's a lot of crap that I've got rid of and, you know,

being able to come in here is give me more space and doors. Hayden's in his own room, so we're both sleeping better. It's just, like, say, it hasn't really been, like New Year, these are all things

I'm ticking off my list. It's just naturally kind of happened. And, yeah, there's been days where I've, you know, been clearing and sorting and organising and cleaning all day. And then there's been days where I've absolutely binged a new show in two days and watched episodes in bed. So it's like I've had a really nice balance.

Do you know what I mean? That is such a good balance. That's exactly what you need. And that's exactly where I'm trying to find again because of obviously get, like you say, you've started it. And at the minute I'm today, I was in the morning we were going to meet up earlier, won't we? And I was like, right.

It's fine. I can still come. However, I am head deep. right now in something. So I would prefer just to carry that on because I'm in that kind of momentum. Yeah. I love that feeling though. Like when you put something off for ages and then you start it and it's like I'm in it.

Well, what happened was, Mitch came. Apart from halfway through, you're like, oh, why did I start? I've lost my feeling. This is what happened. What happened was I did get quite a bit of done. But when Mitch got home later on, he did say to me, he was like, so I was like, oh, yeah, did this. He goes, yeah.

And you went here. and then you went there and then you went there so he could obviously see me where I've started something and gone on to something else passing it, doing this, doing that do you know what I mean?

That sort of thing because there was just so much don't get me wrong. I've cleared my Christmas stuff to the house feels a lot clearer in that respect but no we'll get there it's definitely been a nice start

and then I'm ready for Monday which is again a weird thing because it doesn't have to be that but it's this psychological feeling of like say Hayden's been at home so even though I've been back at work Casey's been back at school. Hayden's still in the house. So it's like, yeah, we're kind of making some routines.

But we're not fully back to... Yeah, full-front right. And I feel like, yeah, Monday's going to be a good week. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm more excited for work for me. I'm really excited to just get back into my work. Yeah. Put my head into my work a bit more and focus on that side

because everything else is all right. not that my work isn't all right, but I feel like I've just kind of pushed it to the side. So yeah, I'm excited. I'm excited to just, I love my job. Yeah, to put a bit more. Same. I feel like, you know, effort into it.

When I'm doing it, like I say, I'm doing it the best that I can. But yeah, you know, when you just feel like I've got so many things on all at once, like work even though I'm there and I'm doing it, it's probably getting not the best of me. It just was a priority. at that point. Yeah. And although I was,

everything was okay, there's always some ideas that I want to do and, you know. Well, that's it, isn't it? It's like doing the job. Yeah. But then bring in like new ideas and new ways and things like that. But yeah, I feel like that.

And the role that I'm in now does need a lot of creativity and like creating content and like topics and what we're going to cover. And we've got Spain and Portugal team training in February. so I've got to create that because we've got an office opening and we're all getting together. So, yeah, I've actually got a lot on, to be fair. I just had a meeting with my boss the other day and we were going through some stuff and I was like, okay, okay. And then I was thinking, right, all this at work and then all this that's going on at home because Leon's got his off in a week and a half. Then I found out yesterday my dad's having a hip replacement in February as well.

So he's going to be here and he's going to be out of action. So, yeah, it's like loads going on. It's probably good that we're not going full throw, because this is it. Yeah. This is the slow, you know, slowly, gently getting into it. We, he's, like I say, it's all exciting stuff. Yeah, it's all exciting stuff because, like I say, we've got a new office opening. I love doing the team trainings when we all get together.

And then I need to go to Portugal. I need to go to New Yorker. I've got my friend who just had a baby. Yeah. Who's going to be hopefully in Barcelona around March April. so hopefully I'll go up to see her. Yeah, there's just loads of exciting things to do. But like you say, when you're like trying to line it up, is that right?

So I've got, okay, that then, that then. Yeah, so our first day back of, you know, work, school and everything was also the first day back for all of hobbies for us. So it was one of our busiest days. So I felt like, ah, we've done that day. Yeah. And then we kind of slowed down again because now we've got the, you know, the weekend and less hobbies towards the end of the week. Yeah. So yeah, I know he's going to be right.

Let's go, you know. Yeah, Kaysen went to his first art class on Wednesday. So that was something that Santa brought him. And he enjoyed it. He absolutely loved it. Oh, good. So, yeah, he's back up to three hobbies now. It's a nice class to go to.

So it's different. So he's got art class. He's got technology class and then he's got drama. So like I say, it's all back this week. So he's done them too. He's got drama starting. on Saturday. So yeah, it's nice to feel like, you know,

when the kids have been off and you just like, the rules are laxed and, you know, like, they've got all their new stuff and you've just kind of, yeah. With what it's all about. Let them do whatever. But now it's about right, okay. Now I feel like less guilty. Stimulation, good, good routines.

Get up and get out. Using your brain. Fresh air. All the things that you've not really done for the last couple of weeks. That's being a bit harsh. Like I say, we have done a lot, even on the breaks and stuff. Yeah, we do. We've had a couple PJ days and stuff, but not for two, three weeks straight.

We went to, we went to Madrid. Yeah. I forgot about that. Yeah, how was that? How quick just there. Yeah, it was really good. That was quite a last minute. It was, yeah.

And we really enjoyed it. We didn't stay, before we stayed a bit closer, didn't we? It's like a bit closer. A bit closer. A bit closer. And then we got on the train and whatever. But we were right out. like about 50 minutes away from the centre.

We stayed in like a campsite in a cabin and whatever and it was brilliant. The kids absolutely loved it. But our main reason was going there was to go to this world that's called Micropolyx. It's very similar to something. I think they've got in London called like Kidzania or something. Yeah.

They've got it in Dubai as well. Oh, there you go. So this place called Micropollics. It's like a world of real life really, basically. You've got bank. The kids can be like adults basically. Yeah, all that. And they get their money and they've got passports and they've got to do jobs and then they can spend their money.

And, you know, they can earn money. They can spend money and get licenses. But they've even got to go to Trafico to queue up and get their license. It's very, very, very, very, you know, use your imagination as well as long as role play and learning. And it was brilliant. So do you just watch the kids do it or are you going around with them? So you can do both. So there's some activities that the parents can get involved.

involved in and there's some that you can't even go in on and you can just see them inside the wherever it is. Sometimes we kind of just sat there and all of a sudden Morgan was running past as NAFX, a postman or, you know, another time he was FBI and Lexi was working in the bank and doing loads of different jobs and whatever. And it was, they honestly, both of them absolutely loved it. It was really good. I'm so glad I went up there.

and it was just a nice finish. All day thing. Yeah, all day. Say all day. It was, I don't think it opens or quarter to 12 and it closes at 6. But we were there at court to 12 and we left at 6th. Yeah. And we were there the whole day.

And we were there the whole time. Yeah. And then we were planning on going into the centre because it was Spanish Christmas and da-da-da. But the kids just wanted to go back to the campsite and play with their friends that they'd made. Simple. Literally as simple as that. And me and just like, oh, touch, let's go. Yeah.

It was really nice, really, I don't know what the word is, like, wholesome and just, and it wasn't overly expensive, you know what I mean? It was just real worth every penny and all the time. And yeah, it was, I'd definitely definitely neckerend it to all ages. Yeah. I think the eldest, like, the eldest you can be is 14, I think. But the younger? I'll have to check.

I don't know. I'm going to say, I'm going to say three. that's just a wild guess I could be completely wrong. Yeah. Do I mean? I think there's stuff for like nought to three, stuff from four to six

and then stuff from seven to 14. Yeah. Because then I had to put the kids ages and I think they was in the same category. Oh, okay. So yeah, I might look at that then. Yeah. Yeah.

It looks really, really cool. It's really, really, really cool. I mean, it was very busy. Yeah. I bet. It's more thinking of you then because there's a lot going on in there. But at the same time, you don't feel like it's really busy.

I don't know how. You know what? Because everyone's just focused on what they're doing, I suppose. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, it's cool. The parents can actually leave as well. Wow. You could just fully drop them off of the day.

And it's in like a shopping centre. Yeah, the one in Dubai is in a shopping centre. So that's quite handy. I could never do that. I've got to admit. I don't think I'm going to. It's like, whatever. I don't think.

Even at our kids' ages, it's just the way we are. It's a weird thing. No, I think that's only fair. I mean, some parents do, but even dropping casing off to drama when he was five and like, I can't go in. It's a weird feeling, isn't it? Luckily Chloe was there, his cousin who's a bit older. I don't think I would have even put him in that young.

To start, yeah. But yeah, it is weird. But it's definitely a good thing if you want to and you feel fine because why not? Do you know what I mean? It's only because I... Even when we went to IKEA the other week to get like all the bits for in here. they've got the kids peri in there. And I was like, oh, look, Kaysen.

I was like, do you want to go? And he was like, no, I was like, good, then. You're not going anyway. Imagine me when he said, Jay. You'd be like, oh, really? I know, yeah. I remember getting dropped off of things like that all day. But yeah, it's just different times now, isn't it?

It's like two seasons at the moment, isn't it? It's like either freezing cold or like boiling hot. I can't keep up. My house feels like I am in. The North Pole. Oh, seriously. And then you walk out on the terrace and it's like, the mouldings or something.

It's honestly, it's literally that's different. You have got a jumper under a jumper. Yeah, but it's not. That's a jumper. Yeah, but it's not. It's crop, but it's a jumper. Yeah, but I was cold not far from here. And then all of a sudden.

I mean, the change is big, right? It's massive. Well, I've been working from in here just because it's like nice of you. Look at the pool. Not there's been much luck at because it's been raining. But yeah, it's like freezing cold in the mornings. I've got like my dressing going over my lap and two jumpers on. and then by the afternoon it's like

It is, it can literally just literally depend on in my house it can depend on when you're sitting So I like earlier I was literally out on my terrace I could have probably, I wouldn't I could probably someday in a bikini Yes, that war today And then I've got just, this is the joke that we make This is the time of year you have to put a jacket on

To go inside Yeah That is probably the easiest way to explain it Yeah But but yeah But apart from that the week's been doing It's funny you say that Because like kids being adults

me and Kaysen do this thing sometimes where like I bring up questions on my phone like in the evening before bed and I'll ask him some questions. So some of it's fun stuff like if you're a superhero, what would you be? And another one was what's the hardest thing about being an adult? And he was like handling everything. Yeah, you're right. I was like, me, my brother and this and that. And then I was like, and it is like, I think that is one of the biggest mental loads is like juggling all these things.

One thing we let the plate drop and smash was, obviously, I've got a car insurance and all of that. But at the moment, like, where Liam drives the car. And he dropped Kaysen to his first art class. And he was waiting for one of his clients to get back to him about going to do a job. And then he called me and he went, when's the car insurance due? I went, I don't know. It's my car. The car is your department.

Honestly, I do nothing to do with the car. And then he was digging things out of the car and he was like, I think the insurance ran out in November. I went, no. He was like, November? November? We're in January. Okay, the beginning, but January really.

And it was only because, for some reason, he just had a minute and he just came to him to think about it. I haven't even thought about it. And I think he was thinking as well, like I think the ITV might be due. So maybe I'll do it before my knee operation because you're not going to want to take the car. No, absolutely not. I'm going to want to take the car for an ITV. So luckily, he thought about it. I haven't even got to take it anywhere.

It's not insured. So, yeah, I mean, I am normally quite good with some things of like putting in my diary and then, you know, even in your phone as a reminder. Yeah, to be fair, with things like that. They normally contact you. I was going to say, yeah, with things like that that are kind of yearly, they would usually ring you to give you your new. Like, policy. And here's the quote for them. Yeah.

Exactly. Because that's all, you always have to try and get them down again, don't you kind of thing? Like we've got life insurance. You know, I've got, you know, other insurances and all these things. And they're all, they usually message you to. It's got money in your bank because it's coming out. Yeah, exactly. Warn you that this is coming out.

So they. Yeah. And I obviously didn't realize. That's, do you know what? That's really, I'm sure that they have to be. No, they suppose they don't have to. Well, to be fair. Liam called them and they were like, yeah, that did run out in November.

But you're still covered. So I don't really get it all while or how So luckily touch wood I've been covered Because they must give you like a month or two Grace period to soren it or something But yeah Can you imagine if something

And you're in court or something And you're like But they didn't remind me that it was due It's for their fault Yeah they're liable, okay God Now I remember even With our old house

We had a leak And any time we've ever had house problems We've always had insurance but I just never call the insurance because you just always hear like it just takes forever they never bother paying anything and it's just a wait for time.

It's more ag in it. It's more ag, yeah. I mean Liam's Rom and Dad go up for what you pay in or whatever. I know Lee's mom and dad have managed to do things but like it's constant and I just haven't got time for her life. To take it for a couple of hundred quid

like just spend it and get it done. So we've never used our insurance all the years we've had it but I remember a year or two ago there was a leak that we had I think in our apartment in the old house the one that we rented out. and Liam was like,

I'm sick of paying, call the insurance. And I was like, oh, for God's sake, it's just one of them jobs that you just don't want to do. So I ended up calling them and they were like, yeah, you haven't got insurance. There's another no insurance story. But this wasn't my fault actually because we bought the house and took all the bank's insurances with when we got the house, when we got the mortgage and everything,

which was with Banco Popular. up and we never really compared quotes. We literally just led it and just kept to the bank's insurance. Well, the bank got bought over by Santander and everything got shifted over to Santander, but what they basically did without warning me, which I would stay in court again if I ever needed to. They didn't tell me. Is that didn't renew our policy.

They just stopped it and didn't start a new one in the change over with the bank. So that was their fault. It's a presumption, isn't it? I think we just... So when we want it to be renewed, where they don't renew it. And then when we don't want it to be renewed, they keep taking our money and renewing it.

For about two years, three years. Liam was like, counsel the house insurance because it's really expensive. Again, it was with the second house that we bought. We took the banks one for the first year because you have to for their whatever conditions for the mortgage. But it's quite expensive. So after a couple of years, he was like, right,

we can get that cheaper. So tell them. So I called one year. No, you need to give us two months notice. For fuck's sake. Right, okay, so I'll put it in my calendar for the next year. Then for whatever reason. The whole other year.

A whole another year. And then I finally did manage to get hold of them and change it. But God, yeah, blood insurance. That's just a nightmare. So yeah. So check that you actually insured people. Check that you, yeah, check when your ITV runs out and when your insurance runs out. It is something, oh, I'm insured.

Are you, though? Are you really? But it's just one of those things. Yeah, put the renewal dates in your phone as a reminder. But talking about, you know, following up on things and checking on things. I went this week for the checkup for the mole that I got removed on my back in October. So, yeah, what are we now? Three months later, three, four months later.

I didn't see anything in my app or anything like that. So I went to the checkup. It healed really well. like didn't have any issues. I nearly cancelled actually because there was a waste of time, but I went anyway. And lucky I did because the doctor was like, oh, we did a good thing removing that because that was, we tested it, we've done the biopsy and it was pre-cancerous. So, yeah, if you haven't checked your moles or have you been thinking about a mole that you want to get checked out,

don't delay because he actually checked that for me before October because it was booked for October. So I think early in the year he looked at it and he went, there's nothing wrong with it. I was going to say, I thought he wasn't so. Yeah, he looked at it with the special little camera thing and there was a nurse with him and she looked as well. And he was like, absolutely nothing wrong with it. But it is on the big side. So it's getting to a point that, you know, there's, I think in English it might be like ABCD, but in Spanish it's like CCC. There's a couple of letters, like a little anagram thing that you can use to.

help you know if like there's a problem like the size is one the diameter is one um if it's different colors it's one if it's not symmetrical if the lines uh aren't smooth but like bobbler it there's a few different things that that causes a mold to be concerning yeah so mine was indicators kind of indicators yeah so mine was getting to the point of the size was an indicator but he said it's absolutely fine you can totally leave it because when you had it out i think i'm right with this You said it was actually deeper. Yeah, my scar's like that lot. Then it sort of first off appeared.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was quite surprised with how big the scar was. But I do remember him saying that it was quite a deep one. But yeah, he was like, no, you can totally leave it if you want. But with it being private, he was like, but if you want it removed, I can remove it. So I was like, well, I know a lot of my family have actually had moles and things removed. Right. So I was like, prevention.

It's difficult to keep an eye on. of it and, you know, if it gets bigger and stuff like that. So, yeah, you don't need it. I don't need it. Take it out. So, yeah, lucky I did because it's, I can't remember the word like dysplasmia or some, there's a word that's really heavily linked to turning into cancer. So, yeah.

Just shows, then. Check your moles. And also don't always take the doctor's word for it. Wow, yeah. Because I could have very easily just left that because he said there's no need to remove it. Well, saying that, things like that. I've had that before with Morgan and his skin when he used to have, and they used to say, oh, it's X-M, it's Ex-M.

And I was like, it's not. I've grew up with Ex-Mire as a kid and I grew out of it. So it was most of the people I know. But this isn't. It was different. Yeah. And just the behaviour and the reaction from some doctors was just so very, uh, you know. And I remember so clearly once coming out of an appointment and Morgan going,

but he didn't even look at me. He didn't even look up and say hello. So how could you even investigate the problem? on his skin and how bad is that? So it was like that that we had to change a department to a different whole another area for that for that dermatology problem and the change of the the care from the doctor was completely different. Just very simple basic, you know, procedures and tests and to try and find out what it is

that should have been done at the very beginning. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And it just doesn't make. sense to me why why people are in certain professions and I know some parts of work are it's hard

that you know they haven't got the resources or whatever it is but with some people they don't even look up and acknowledge a person let alone a child do you know what I mean or then even you know really investigates is that the criteria that you've got to follow to really say yes

or no of a mole or a blah blah do you know what I mean if you're offering this kind of a of a, you know, of a treatment, then I expect it to be done the best of the best, you know, if I'm coming in to have this mole checked, you know, I expect it to be, well, if it's definitely not okay, then that's definitely not okay, not oh, it comes out, gets tested and it is. Yeah.

And I get it, something you never know, but for him to make the comment going, yes, it's definitely okay, then to come back and be tested. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's, and it was the same. It's the same with Morgan. He had biopsies and everything and it come back exactly what I had already investigated because it took so long and everyone thought, oh, I was the crazy mom, do you know what I mean? Just looking on Google and all this.

And it came back exactly what I'd investigated. They ended up, he was diagnosed with. And it's a bit like stick with your instinct really. Yeah. It reminds me of, because recently this story's come out of the little mix. Jesse. I was going to say Jesse Jay then. It's not, is it? No, it's not. Jesse Littlewix. Jesse Nelson. Yeah. And she with her twins, basically.

So sad. Do you know why? Because it can be, it could have been prevented. Yeah. I think that's the hardest thing to settle with. With a very simple solution to, to, of that prevention. Do you know what I mean? So, so basically, I know she had, she had, she had, it was. It was a bit hit and miss with a pregnancy anyway. Yeah, so that's something about twins that I never knew, actually. And twins have been everywhere the last year or two. Like celebrities, but also a lot of people that have had twins.

I don't know what's going on, but there seems to be loads of twins. Yeah, so something with twins, which I'd never noticed until she spoke about it, was there's – and another celebrity spoke about it, actually, because she lost one of her twins while she was pregnant. twin syndrome or something like that where one just disappears or one absorbs into the... or something along those lines.

I think that's what Jesse had. I'd actually don't know what it was. All I know, I actually can't... I know she was in hospital for months being monitored to make sure that both were okay. Again, I don't know what it was for, but I know that she had to have a lot of tests being pregnant with the twins.

So it wasn't like... I know it's not all just... plain sailing, being pregnant anyway. But it was like, you know, it wasn't... It was quite a medical pregnancy. Yeah, put it that way. That's, I guess that's probably easiest way. And then everything was okay.

And then she had the babies. And then not long after, I think it was a mum who alerted her to this thing that they should be more, being a bit more stronger with their neck and their legs and things like that. And she was kept being reminded by the doctors. And what she kept remembering her head, what she was. being told was that these babies are premature. They are not going to grow and hit the same milestones.

Exactly. At the same time. And to always remember that. So don't compare them. And if they're behind, don't worry. Yeah. So all these things you've been going on in your head. As well as you've got your own mum going, well, actually.

I'm a bit worried about that. Yeah, yeah. And it's your mom, you know. Well, I think she said she was going back to the doctors and mentioning it and they were brushing it off. And they, you know, I think it was a good couple of times before they took it seriously. And then, you know, over the space of however long she, before she spoke about it, weeks, months, it's come out that they have a really severe muscle disease disorder, whatever it's called, that your body attacks the muscles and your muscles dies.

Until you get the treatment. So basically what it is is I have, I think as well we've obviously clearly take it for granted because it's something that we have here in Spain. So we definitely have a heel prick. So I assume that's part of the testing. That thing gets tested. That is what that test. So I didn't know.

I've got to admit it. I didn't really know. So this very, very simple heel print test test for this kind of a thing. Because then that if they have, then they can have the baby can have the treatment to stop that happening. Yeah. Because once it's stopped, it's stopped. And that's it. But whatever's been already damaged can't be reversed.

Yeah. So it's kind of a no-brainer for me. Why don't they? Why doesn't it? For something that can so drastically affect their life to the point. It's not just body parts, like not being able to move your muscles, but like your lungs, your breathing. Like, and it can really feed in.

It can like end a child's life. Like kids die from this. the fact that it's not included in a hill-prick test the minute they're born. Because like you say, with this particular thing, time is of the essence. The early you can't. There's treatment. Absolutely fine. It's obviously, it was certainly a disease I've never heard about.

It is very rare, isn't it? It is very rare. But that's because, I think, it's rare because of how easily it's prevented. Do you know what I mean? That's why for me it's like a no-brainer. And I think I was so shocked. So I started, I don't, you know, I don't watch a lot. Do you know what I mean?

But I have to admit this, when I started listening, obviously, I was listening. Yeah. And then, you know, you asked your own questions in your head when you're listening to something. And then obviously, if you'd actually said it out loud, she would have gone, well, can you just let me finish? So I think that's how I feel like, she probably would have said it to me. But so I'm like, well, why didn't, in my head, well, well, didn't they have a hill prick? And then later on in the video, obviously it comes out that it's not something that they have in, in, in, I'm presuming the UK, I'm, I'm presuming the UK, I'm just going to go on England.

Yeah, yeah. I don't know. But certainly that definitely we have in the EU and Spain. Yeah. Because she's now going to advocate for getting that as a necessity for every child, every birth. But regarding, I don't know why they don't offer it. But let's just say even if it is about cutting back, that's something that should not even be a question.

No. You know what I mean? It should be a no brain of that is the protocol of what? happens when a baby is born like anything else that is in it and that is it when you could then have to live your life in a wheelchair have to live your life without being able to move certain parts of your body having breathing difficulties leading a life like a life expectancy probably is a lot shorter all because of a quick test with treatment it's absolutely baffling and if it is because of price cuts like you say it's disgusting yeah i don't know i honestly don't know i didn't even know it

a thing but obviously again that's probably because we take it so much for granted what we do get here you've got a thing not just that even generally um in the maternity ward we've all got our private rooms bathrooms yeah spare beds televisions it's very yeah it's quite it's actually yeah you know what i mean and we really take the babies every day to the doctor checking the movements, checking the spine, you know, all these things, the hill prick tests. Sometimes we see it as long, but it's not. Yeah, like, oh, you're waking the baby up, like, you know. But no, thank God that we have all that because, like you say, because her babies didn't

have that, which would not have happened if she'd given birth in Spain, she, like she said, now I'm basically, I don't get to be their mum. I have to be their nurse. Which is so sad because, like she said, not only is she having overnight to learn all these things because like her babies were left to the point where they she is having to feed them through tubes and all this stuff it's and she said like she's grieving the life she thought she was going to have because like you say the minute you get pregnant you imagine what's the baby going to look like is it a boy is it girl what we're going to call them what you're going to

yeah what are they going to look who they're going to look like like oh you know I can't wait to if you know the gender oh go wedding dress shop in wonder and all you know you just envision the life you're going to have. Of course you do. And to have that completely shattered for, like you say, an unnecessary reason, like that would be the most gutting. Because like you say, if it was genetics, if it was, you know, maybe you were supposed to have that baby, but to know that that could have been avoided and now my kids

possibly she's been told we'll be in a wheelchair. It must be heartbreaking. Yeah, I agree. And it goes again back to the instinct of, you know, just so. hermink's not right. Yeah. Even if it was her or the mom, the nan, do you know what I mean? It's going back to that instinct of, no, I don't care how early they were born.

That ain't right, babe. Do you know what I mean? Go and sort it and go and get them to test and look again and look again. And like I say, not always taking the doctor's word for it because there's so many people I've spoke to, like normal people that I know that, you know, baby don't seem right, take them or, you know, even kids take them to the hospital, like. something's not right. No, it's a viral infection

and whatever it is, it's fine. Yeah. And then send you home, go back, send you home, go back. And then it's like on the third, fourth attempt, it's like, oh no, this is really, really serious, quick, you know. This is, you know, could, you know,

really affect them life endangering or whatever. And it's like, if you just take people's word for it, like it could be life changing, can't it? Yeah. You know what I mean? So I just, I just, I know there are people out there who are very exaggerate and over. and da-da-da-da-da-da-da.

But I think that's very, I think that's very far and few compared to the people who are, you know, with this instinct of you need to listen to me, I need to be heard. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? But then again, I just feel like

if you follow the same steps, then it wouldn't matter anyway, would it? Do you know what I mean? If it's the person that's being over the top, or a person that doesn't feel heard, if you're following the steps that you need to do to make sure, Yeah.

Then it wouldn't. Does that make sense in what I'm trying to say? Yeah. You know what I mean? In a probably more blunt way, if you're doing a job probably, then you'd be right. That's what I mean.

Like, yeah, whichever doctor you end up sitting in front of, whichever person it is, they should follow and treat everybody the same. And like I say, if you are exaggerating, hyperchondriac, then you'll only go so far.

They'll realize. And if it's not, then, you know, they continue and they help you. But yeah, it's not really, like even taking Kaysen for his, you know,

two operations he's had. I never ask questions really. Like I remember you even saying like I've got a list of questions, you know, when I'm going to my medical appointment and I'm like, I just kind of go along with, okay. It's because when you're in there, I forget like all these things. You do. And then when you sit in and thinking about it away, you kind of ask yourself these questions that you can't answer. So that's usually when I would, I probably more, probably learned that from my mum to be honest.

Because when she goes to the doctor, she has to write the list down to know what she's like. But it's true. It's, it's, I feel like, especially in, in them sort of jobs, obviously, well, in any, in anything that anyone's, in anywhere, you, in anywhere you go through it with a specialist, no matter if it's medical, if it's not, that person's that specialist. So you trust them in what they're saying, you know what I mean? In that kind of sense, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Unfortunately, it's not always the case that, you know, whether, whether or not it's just rare or the fact that they haven't done the 100% things that they should do in that specialist job. Yeah. It's sad. So if you have that feeling of instinct of something isn't right, I would say stick with your instinct and make yourself be heard. Yeah. Whatever it is.

Yeah. You've definitely got to advocate for yourself. And if it's something that you struggle with, then have someone with you that can advocate for you. I think I remember seeing someone talk about that where they were really poorly. and they had to keep having loads of appointments. I think it was that Louise Thompson that was in Maiden Chelsea. You won't know.

You don't know in pop culture. Anyway, she was in Made in Chelsea, you know, quite popular. Like she was with a partner. She met the partner on the show. Then they left the show. Then they had a baby together. Well, she nearly died giving birth through a lot of actual malpractice in the hospital. And it doesn't happen everywhere.

This isn't a dig out because I'm telling you now. There's so much great care we've had. But in the situation, yeah, nearly lost her life, really serious, very post-traumatic stress, all of the stuff, really struggled for a number of years. And she spoke about this. I think she's even brought a book out and everything. I don't know if it's a consequence from the birth or just another health thing that she had, but she's ended up having her colon removed and she's got one of them.

stomo bags or whatever they're called. So obviously that's a massive life-changing altering thing. But she was suffering so much that almost that was actually like a relief. But I remember her saying because she's got a podcast with her bloke. Like in the moment I couldn't advocate for myself that like her partner ended up turning into, yeah, like learning loads of the medical stuff, asking all the questions, not just taking the answer because. you're the doctor, there must be a better way or no, I don't agree with that. So it's like, you know, in certain cases, like that Jessie has had to learn and turn into a nurse and learn a lot of medical stuff and a lot of medical families where they have a disabled

kid or something that's happened, because I've seen another woman talk about it, that she's learned, she is a nurse, like the amount of stuff and information that she knows and learns. But yeah, if you can't advocate for yourself, if it's something you struggle with or you're, you're, not to be confrontational because you shouldn't always be curious and ask questions. And if you struggle with that, especially if you are, if it's you and you are poorly, then make sure that you've got someone. Because in those situations I've heard about that, yeah, that person can really help. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, definitely. More so because I say you lose all that sort of. Well, even you're just telling me that ahead of, you know, Kaysen's going to have to have this operation for a third time. when we went to speak to them again. So I put it off for a couple of years because they probably would have put his name down on the list.

He would have had a third operation in three years and I was like, no. So I left it and that was my instinct. Give him a break, leave it. You know, you can argue both ways. Getting it done younger, he won't remember it as much, getting it done older, he's going to know more. But I felt like it was too much for a three-year-old.

He'd already been through a lot. He'd had one at one. He'd had an operation at two. He would have then had a third. third one at three and I just thought right well if it didn't work the first two times yeah maybe he needs to get bigger um so that was anyway my reason so anyway we've gone back his name's back on the list um I'm surprised I haven't had a phone call about it yet to be honest but um yeah before that appointment was probably the first time actually ask questions going into it because just having that

minute to write ask a couple or write it down to then be prepared because like I say in the moment there's so much going on yeah you forget so sometimes just prepping for those appointments can help. Yeah. And this is what, mostly when my mum and dad, they go to the doctors or something like that and they've got this medication and that medication. All right.

So what's that for? I don't know. Right. So you're just going to take boxes of medication. You have no idea what you're taking it for. You could prevent this one without medication or what have you got that you need to be aware of to educate what's wrong with you. Yeah.

Do you what I mean? Especially when I think just our whole system is right. Okay. Yeah. Try this. Yep. Try that. It's like very easy.

to give prescription, medications, and it's not necessarily easier for a doctor, I guess. Sometimes you really need medication. It definitely comes back down to resources and time. And I get it. I really, really do get that. Do you know what I mean? I think you should also take ownership yourself

and learn a bit more. Yeah. And then be able to go, right, I will try that because that, you know, according to other things and stuff I've read is the way to go. Actually, I'm going to try this. of the way. Yeah.

And most of the time, your instinct is the biggest factor. Yeah. Yeah. Like I say, I think that's the takeaway for today is not just to take people's word for it. And that's in anything,

whether it's medical or even if it's like your boss, this is the way we need to do it. I really, really don't think that's the right way. You know, sometimes it is awkward, but you have to speak up. Yeah, definitely.

That's a good... I'm surprised you haven't got a little quote for that one, Bill. No, nothing's coming to mind. Oh, no. I thought she'd grab one out. the bag then, you know. Put me on the spot. Sorry, I'm sorry.

But it is. It's true. It is true. No, I think, yeah, advocate for yourself is the main thing. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know what that murder means,

so I'm just going to say, yeah. Advocate is stick up, stick up for yourself. You've just said it like four times. I'll say, yeah. Advocate is to stick up for something. So if I'm an advocate for this means that you support that or advocate for yourself, stick up for yourself.

Okay, now I did get it. I did get it, because I get it what you're saying. But if someone goes, what does that mean? and I'm like, I was feeling. I knew the concept of what you were trying to say. Yeah, yeah. Do, yeah. Advocate for yourself.

Yes. Right, well, we'll see you guys next week. Yeah, adios.