The Rising’s Growing Together Podcast - Parenting in the Digital Age Social Media, Emotional Intelligence @TheRising1111 Ep.9

Episode Date: May 12, 2025

In this episode of Growing Together, Billie and Charlotte dive into the key aspects of modern parenting, with a focus on the challenges and opportunities of raising children in today’s digital world. They explore: • The impact of social media on kids’ mental health and self-esteem • Why emotional intelligence is crucial for children’s development • Balancing education with real-life skills and choosing the right school • The role of technology in shaping youth behaviour • How to build self-esteem and prepare kids for real-world challenges Filled with personal experiences, reflections on societal influences, and practical advice, this episode is packed with tips and insights for parents navigating the complexities of raising children today. Final thoughts and takeawaysTune in for a thoughtful discussion that offers relatable advice and inspiration for parents everywhere.Follow and subscribe to stay connected:Connect with us:www.linktr.ee/therising1111 New episodes every Friday! Hosted by Billie & Charlotte best friends, ambitious mums, and career women sharing what it’s really like behind the scenes.#parentingpodcast #emotionalintelligence #modernparenting #schoolchoices #socialmediaandkids #selfesteem #TechAndKids #growingtogetherpodcast #parentingtips #lifeskills

welcome back guys hey i was going to say what episode but i'm lost i don't even know what how many of it is bill i don't know where we are well yeah with the kids being off and all of that i have no idea what the week it is either we're back we're back we're back you we're watching us joining us for another week another chit chat yeah how's your week been good nothing nothing i think um nothing nothing major i don't think just a normal week of school and hobbies and life and yeah everything's been good just normal nothing to report really i don't think i did see i did see a thing and it was um a boring life is the like the best life because it means there's no dramas there's no like bad things happening and they actually

made me think yeah yeah i'll take this week i'll take a boring week yeah yeah it was nothing to report just a nice yeah nice week nothing to good to say really yeah good nothing made you happen nothing that I need to do, nothing that I have done, but got through the week, I'm here. Good. Still smiling. You? Well, I'm a bit disturbed.

Oh. I've watched a TV show. Okay, okay. Oh, is this going to scare me? Don't do this, do me. It might do a little bit, it might do a little bit. So it's going around, so I thought I'd watch it. It's an English drama, so I don't normally watch the English ones.

I'm more of an American TV show. But, no, I thought I'd watch it, and yeah, it's actually. actually a little bit terrifying not in like a scary like watching it was scary but just what it makes you think about so to give everyone context yeah yeah yeah you ironically i don't watch tv so i actually have to explain this to you as well so it's called adolescence and it's about that word on its own is scary that's just that word yeah oh my god teenage yeah um yeah so it's called adolescence um and actually they filmed it in one take so they're like four episodes I think but the whole thing is like the

cameramen moved and they like it's all filmed in one take so I think they record it a few times yeah but the way it's filmed is but in the moment it's not cut start again like the all the movement and the emotions and everything they filmed it really really well done to be fair to do it it's almost like a theatre show yeah because you know you don't stop it's live so it's not a film so it's no it's a four-part series of an episode I just watched it on my box

so I don't know so you watch it four time like there's four different things four different episodes I get a bit confused

episodes and series yeah well it's kind of like a series four episodes whatever but yeah so there's

four parts and it's about a 13 year old boy who murders a 13 year old girl so yeah it's pretty grim

and you know he's accused of it from episode one so that's not like ruin in the storyline or anything

like he has done it well he's been arrested for it oh right okay so and there's not really so and i've seen videos of the guy who created it talking about it and he's like it's not a and thing of did he do it didn't he do it you pretty much know or you gather through that he's potentially done this it's more of provoking you as to why would a 13 year old boy murder a girl yeah it gets you thinking it gets you thinking so that's why it's terrifying because you see the parents average parents you know

dad's got a bit of a temper but he's nice to the mum he's got a bigger sister she's living at home a couple years older than him nice you know goes to a normal school but it's like

why is this boy got to a point where he's actually murdered this girl and basically what it's kind of provoking you to think about that it's kind of a combination of a lot of things like it's the school that he goes to

it's kind of the schooling system and the government that there's no real kind of how to deal with emotions and stress and bullying and all that kind of thing as a main part of school you get taught trigonometry

but you don't get taught to how to deal with feelings and relationships social media a massive one the boy was like looking at you know women and objectifying them

and a bit like rude stuff and he's a bit of a geeky boy or that's kind of what they made it out like, and he likes this girl who another boy's sent loads of pictures of her around, a bit provocative, so then everyone's calling her names. And then he thought, well, I've nobody else's thing, like, I'd like to go out with her. So he asked her out, and she basically shut him down, like, do you really think, you know, I'm not that desperate, you're ugly, but this is all online.

And it's all, like, you know, forward and back. So basically humiliated him. He gets picked on at school anyway. He's, you know, him and his friends aren't the cool kids. society just to how they how everyone is brought up to think about women and what a masculine man is and kind of just the ideology and the mentor

how we bring up kids to then be adults and so it's a bit of like everything involved like the friends that you have the school you go to online stuff you know the system schooling system it's like basically it's everybody's fault the world that we live in today well at first shot you'd think 13 year old it emerged somebody

little fucking shit you know what I mean he's wrong in or whatever but actually you look at it and it's like the pair yeah it's a little bit of everything it isn't really one thing

but it's like that could literally happen that could have been prevented it could have been prevented is the main takeaway from them from them factors yeah you know combining them factors

that we should all be doing a bit better because it could literally happen to anyone and that you know he wasn't he hadn't gone through bad trauma he hadn't had a horrible childhood

there was none of these things that help you understand a little bit of maybe why you got to that point it's literally... He lost it. He lost it. He obviously didn't know how to do with his emotions. He was getting embarrassed and he's at the age where that's really important

and friends and things at school and obviously online stuff and the school system or whatever and yeah, he just lost it. Obviously he thinks, you know, down on women and that they're less than men a little bit of everything. So it's like, oh my God, like...

But when he'd done it, Did he change, did he, did he, did he have any remorse in what he did, or was he, was he, was he, was he, was he, was he, was he, I know, obviously I don't, I don't know what you, I haven't watched it, but do you get on, when, in the thing, does it say that he did it or does it not actually say that point? How does he react to be said? So it starts with... Is it reactive or she deserved it? Or was it a reaction of, oh my God, I can't believe what I've done, but actually I think I've done it because of this, this, this, this. No.

So it starts with him being arrested. So you don't actually really see him do it. But then they show you a clip of CCTV a little, so it's quite blurring far away. And then at the very first episode, him and his dad are waiting because obviously he's not an adult in, like an interrogation room. and the dad says, did you do it?

And I'm sure he said no. And then they're like probing him and probing him. And then he has another woman come in and says, I can't even really remember now what happened. I was just a bit like shocked. Yeah. So yeah, he has this other woman come in and obviously trying to watch it with kids don't help in the background.

She's, her job is to basically assess him and give her understanding of his understanding, almost like have you understood what you've actually done? Do you know like you've killed someone? They've lost their life. Like have you understood or are you like maybe mentally unstable? And then she gives her assessment to the judge before that he gets a sentence or whatever like that. And there's a scene where she's in there and she's asking him like,

so, you know, what do you think being a man means? You know, and starts asking him all these things to try and understand him. and he yeah he loses it and gets right in her face you don't tell me what to do almost like an authority thing and that didn't necessarily come from his home well the way that's got a temper yeah but like you say there's more probably videos that he probably a bit of everything so he's seen his dad maybe lose his temper but then you know it's not like his dad beat up his mum where it wasn't that bad he like he lost his temper he maybe shouted but he didn't he didn't take his two-five

probably typical parents of what most of us, you know, do. Yeah. It's like that thing, isn't it? Like, hurry up, get out of the door in the morning. And then you're like, bye, have a good day. Yeah, exactly. So, yeah, nothing really crazy that stood out, but obviously all of this added up.

And, yeah, the way he thinks, and he lost it with that woman and was screaming in her face. But then afterwards, like, you know, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have shouted at you. And she brought him a drinking. He was like, I don't even, I don't deserve that drink. So, yeah, it's just, it makes you think, doesn't it, I think. And even when I watch some of the TV shows that I watch,

like I mentioned last week about watching that Temptation Island and the guy literally going to a villa to prove to his girlfriend that he's not a cheat and then has a threesome two days later. And it's like, how can we stop our boys being assholes as men? Yes. Oh, yes. Yes, so it has. It's made you think, yeah, I get that.

like, and obviously this boy was 13. So it's not like a matter of like this can happen as an adult. Like, you know, and we've seen it as teenagers, like, you know, the boys that were nasty and the boys that are horrible. Like I wouldn't, you know, like even you were saying about taking the piss out of girls with periods and stuff. Like you want to bring up a boy that's respectable, but like not a push over. Like it's finding that bloody balance. It is. It's very hard. And it also, I think you can tell your child however much you like.

Yeah. can't stop who, you know, someone else getting that information to them or doing that next to them or, you know, that sort of a thing. So you can try to guide your own. Yeah, he's pushed to a certain degree. He was bullied. The girl was like humiliating him. Like he didn't just do it because he's messed up.

Like he was provoked. But obviously couldn't deal with his feelings and had this massive outburst, which you know, we've seen young men and even men, throw their toys out of them, you know, can't deal with certain things. And it's like, Anna, sometimes. Yeah. How do we make sure that, you know, because there's not something they're teaching schools. Clearly, that's part of the demonstration of the show.

And again, that's a very hard balance to, I think examples a big one. Like you say, it's what they see. Yeah. Is a big one. It's something we can control. Whether that's at home or online. So at home, of course you can control it. To an extent, obviously, some days.

Some days you lose it, but I think there's a way that you react. I think it's unrealistic for a parent hold it together 24-7. And like I said last week, I don't want to shield him away from things. I want him to see me stressed. I want him to see me upset. But it's showing him how to deal with that. And I think that's the example. That's it.

And then more going over it with them rather than in the moment, but you're obviously pissed off. Yeah. When you've gone through that, like you say, you know, explaining to them and, you know, just going over it again with them of that. And if you have lost it and shouted, it apologised and I shouldn't have done that, like, you know, Parents should apologise. Well, it's one thing that I, I mean, we don't, we don't really, you know, pick up, to be honest, now. But if we ever do, or we have a debate or an argument, whatever it is, and it's been in front of the children, when I say that, I mean, just a little something, do you know what I mean? I would, I'm quite big on them seeing us, apologize to each other and make up too.

Yeah. So not that just, oh, all of a sudden. and they're talking again. Yeah. Because sometimes... Because sometimes you do do that. Sometimes you just don't talk and then, I don't know, you could make a cup of tea and you think,

I could just make my own cup of tea. But I'd be a proper bitch if I didn't make him a cup of tea. So I'd better make him one. And that's kind of the thing without saying anything. Yeah. But in another sense, you have to... I like them just to kids to see that that make up too. Yeah.

You know, does that make sense? Yeah. How to deal with it, how you react and then how you, you know, if you didn't have a very good reaction how you then make up for it or even dealing with it like say we me and Liam

I mean nobody I think could argue with Liam yeah so we don't argue we have sometimes like difference of opinion on certain things and we'll talk it out but the minute we disagree on something and we're not even raising our voices cases

like stop I'm like we're talking Lexington did that we're talking we're not arguing we're debating we literally hadn't even changed our tone of voice but because he could see that we weren't on the same page about something stop arguing i'm like chason we're talking we're talking it through but i don't agree and this is why so yeah i think yeah it's just example that's something we can control and that i feel comfortable

with yeah what do we do about social media and uh phones and things like that that's a big thing in my house because casein lately is definitely getting more on screens i've never been strict with screens and up until recently he just had his iPad and YouTube kids. Now he's got the PlayStation and he likes Minecraft and Ricky's boyfriend gifted him a

switch on holiday so now he's got a switch which is nice. Yeah so he's got a few devices but literally if the battery runs out on one he'll go to the next one and then the next one we've started to implement breaks now so we go right you've had it constantly for a long time now it's a break

and he's good and he'll stop And then he'll be like, is my breakover now? So he'll are. So he's starting to understand that he can't be on things constantly. Yeah. And to be honest, the Minecraft, I don't mind because all he does on this Minecraft, he doesn't go on the normal way of playing at the survival mode or whatever that is, where you actually die and you have to collect things and to live and stuff.

He goes on the creative mode, which is basically he gets access to everything. And he just builds houses. So he's built himself like a house and a McDonald's and a prison for some reason. And, you know, all these different things. he's like a little village so I think that's quite good you know it's creative and like he has to take different materials and put them together to create something so and they've all got fancy names

but there's no access for the him to do you get what I'm saying so that game there's no access for him for anyone to kind of like play with no so it's just him he plays and he's got access to all the materials he doesn't have to hunt for it or anything so he just makes build things but he has to combine two or three different materials to create like a potion

or to create an iron suit. Yeah, but playing it, he's safe. He's safe because, yeah. Because is it, I have heard things about... Oh, it's not that. It might be in another game. Might be Minecraft. I'm not too sure on the name of the games.

This one, yeah, there's Roblox, which at one point he was playing a boy from school. But yeah, with this Minecraft thing, he doesn't play with anybody else. He basically just builds, which is engineering in my eyes. So I'm like, yeah, build as much as you. you want figure it out and he does he uses things that like aren't things to make chairs and tables and it's like really really smart which i think's good for him with his age yeah it's

imagination and stuff he's not he's not oh can i go because i want to connect and build with no whereas i feel minor at different ages that but the youtube one he's watching other people play and i don't think that's very good well it yeah it depends isn't it i think he's learned a lot from it and he knows how to make certain things more like watching football this football thing and it's really just following a football team and what they, how they play how they train and da-da-da-da-da-da

but it's football and it's just the same as men watching football every week isn't it really? Yeah, it's totally that way exactly. There's another one he watches and it's like a, I think it's like a father and a son go on different adventures like camping and how to survive and what to do and different tips and tricks

and that one I love, I think that one's brilliant. That's really good. There's some things he watches is that it's watching someone play a game and how they, obviously they're very overreactive to it that I'll find weird Lexi used to watch things

of someone recording someone with dolls playing, hey I'm gonna go and get some tea you know like that it's literally her watching someone play with the dolls instead of playing yourself. That's that I didn't like

so yeah I'm a bit funny with I I'm a bit I think I'm a bit over the top maybe I'm not I don't know but in my house I'm phones and and and Xboxes and things like that drive me insane they they I think it's because of that when you're saying it just makes you think about stuff yeah it just panics me a bit so you don't need it I just think it's there's no what you're doing there's no benefit of what you're using it for so um I can't get I like the connection of you know you can connect with your friends and you know you know you know you know you whatever all over the world and it is nice because they're talking to each other they're not just like this, they're all talking they're laughing and honestly some of the noises that come from Morgan sometimes in his room when he's obviously laughing and playing at the same time

to it is great. That's fine. That's what Liam used to do. He would play only obviously as he got older play his friend in England and they play football things but they're like chatting and they're catching up and like that's nice that's fine because you're not just staring at something mindlessly. So for example like

with Lexi she has on my phone she goes on TikTok now I don't have TikTok this is for her I say for her it's for her because I like her doing the

dances yeah I think I like her doing the dance moves she goes to dance class routines it's the music yeah it's a good thing it's when then you fall the same as YouTube and other thing you fall and the social media

you start just flicking and flicking and she's then flicking through shit that I don't know Do you know what I mean? I can't control so much. Obviously, if you go on that one, it's for following and for you. So I try to keep on the ones obviously who she's following because then it's just everyone we know and who I know.

It's just friends. I can control who she's there and who she's got on her profile. And hers is private anyway, but obviously I always can control that. The one thing that I don't like is Snapchat because the messages you can't see, you can't get back. Yeah, that's just a dodgy app in, like, you've created it for it to delete itself. That's one thing that I don't like.

But at the same time, they're going to turn around and say, oh, well, he shouldn't have it. He's not old enough to have it. Yeah. Anyway, fair enough. He shouldn't be having a phone. If they didn't have phones, I would, I'd be happy with that. That would be great.

I'd happily carry on with life. No one having phones. But, unfortunately, it's the life now. And it's just the way things are. Yeah, because otherwise they're the left ones out. And everyone else has got phones. Yeah, but for me, and I probably, I probably can control.

it a bit maybe over the top or a bit more than others i don't know that's no judgment there that's just me um in in his in phones and turning it off and putting it into the side and now more with mason because i kind of give him advice and then he doesn't do it and it's not helping him so in the end i'm like no now i'm telling you to do it yeah rather we're going it's probably best and you don't do and it's not helping you yeah maybe no i'm going to tell you now you have to yeah you have to leave it over here and turn it off at whatever time to make your own mind up But you haven't, so I'm doing it for you. Because you get to a point and think, well, no, in my head, this again, this is just my opinion.

I'm not a good parent if I'm not controlling or doing or, you know, them things. And that's just me and that's just me how I think as a mum. But we're the ones who are molding, shaping these humans to grow up to be. That's what freaks me out is that these kids are going to be someone's husband or someone's wife, like someone's father. Even just a friend. Yeah, you're going to have friends that, you know, you're going to have a friendship group as you get older. And you're going to be a colleague.

You might be a business owner. Like there's all, you're going to be a person in the world and you're going to affect all these people around you and all these different scenarios. And other people are going to be able to affect you as well. It goes both ways. And one thing I did see, because there's this famous guy. He's called Gary Vee's, this big marketing person.

and he gets asked questions all the time and one of them that always comes up it's like how do I protect my children on the internet and he said well it's a bit unrealistic to expect them not to be on the internet the only thing you can control is their self-esteem so if you raise mentally you know emotionally secure

you know people with good self-esteem then they're going to be able to protect themselves and who are open and honest that can talk and you know You know, like with you. To communicate and stuff. Yeah, exactly that. Rather than keep it in.

So that's one thing that I agree with. You know, we can limit things to a certain extent. But what we need to focus more on is raising good people that have, that are secure that. Because most, you know, arguments, lashing out, bad behaviours, all of that comes from an insecurity or bad experience or, you know, not feeling good about yourself, really. Yeah. Jealousy things like that of, you know, as you think young. thinking as young, you know, when you're in that kind of thing. Exactly.

And people say, they don't really mean it, it's actually. You know, and that can escalate. You know, bullies are bullies because they've got something bad going on at home normally is what ends up being the case. So, yeah, to raise kids that are securing themselves. And I think Liam as a teenager, like looking back, he was quite like that. There was a lot of us that, you know, were doing things and pushing boundaries. And, you know, he was still part of the group. and, you know, no one picked on him or pushed him into anything

and he knew his own mind of what he wanted to, what he didn't want to do. So, yeah, it's just kind of now I'm aware of that. It's like, right, how do I make Kaysen and Hayden, like. And across in the line of banter and bullying. Yeah, I mean, but also, like, say, if you're on the receiving end of it, I saw something today, actually, it was funny because I'm scrolling on my phone. And Kaysen come up next to me and it come across a video. and it was a bloke demonstrating bullion.

So he got this girl up on stage and he was like, right, I want you to call me stupid and just keep coming at me. So she was like, you're stupid. And he was like, don't say mean things to me. And basically how a normal kid teenage conversation would go if someone's being mean and you're trying to go, you're mean back and you're trying to say things back

or tell him to stop and it just escalates. And obviously he said basically bullies get, you know, their kids. out of, you know, your reaction. So you're getting angry, you getting upset. They're trying to get power over you. And then he said, right now, start again. So she's like, you're stupid.

And he was like, yeah, I do do stupid things sometimes. And she was like, yeah, yeah, you do. And then it's just to throw her off. And then he was like, yeah, but you're amazing. Yeah, I know I am. Thanks. And then he basically was like, just being nice to her. And he was like, but he was like, you can be mean to me if you want, but I'll still be nice to you

and then it just threw them completely off and I was like oh that's quite a good video for him to come and sit next to me and watch then we had to talk about bullies and stuff like that but it's a good way of way of thinking about it yeah because instantly you go stick up to yourself and like if someone's being mean to you the instant thing is to go back to them

and it's that actually the best way to stop a bullet and I said to him I was like it's like it's a person who you don't care about you know just because they say something doesn't mean it's true and you know if they're not a nice person then they're probably not someone you want to be friends with anyway so who cares what you think yeah you know I'm

only going to care about the people that I care about it's a hard one because then sometimes friends of child you know playground things with your groups you know yeah I think I remember being young and I mean being called into school because of a you know like a three three is a crowd situation yeah you know and girls girls are nasty yeah at that age so that that that I remember that and you know little advice is I've had to give to Lexi you know when she's about and it's fine you know

sometimes you've got to take action on something and some things it's by tomorrow it'll be another like it'll be something else you know yeah it's hard sometimes as a parent you have to act and sometimes you've just got to see maybe right down see where it goes yeah you know what I mean and also yeah be aware that although yes

your children are perfect they're not always perfect yeah you know so if anyone ever did does approach you with anything that could have happened and you know be open into listening and you know that kind of a thing because i've gone through experiences like that before and um and i think people were probably more shocked in my reaction to not go oh no mine wouldn't do that it was more right no i'll have to speak with them or i've spoke with them and you know go go yeah it's i think everything's just a balance in that i think that's the main takeaway is like you want them to stick up for themselves but then you don't

want them to react to everything because everything's not a big deal like oh well move on ignore them like you don't have to react to everything you don't have to stick up yourself every single situation but then you also don't want them to you know be ignorant to things and maybe not see things when they're maybe the one that's yeah on the receiving end of friends that aren't being very nice and you know it's easy to say well don't be friends with them because they're not a nice person but then what if things going on in your friendship group because sometimes that happens and then you know and that could be just for a moment like you say that it's just got a big take action and yeah i've always said to mine never start always finish yeah but that that could mean a

whole lot of different things do you get what i mean as in that doesn't you know never ever start something but you don't you let something carry on you know yeah nip it in the bud and that's it however way you need to yeah depending on the situation yeah and i think it's it's it's a nice approach to be open minded but then at the same time you want you kind of want to back your kid up as well because they need to feel that you're in that corner if that especially like in other people it's like they say about couples like you know it's one thing in between the two of you to go look I think you're a bit wrong there but in front of other people you should always you know be on their side so it's like doing that but then I'd be very open to be like oh okay doesn't sound like him

but let's figure out what's happened but then it's if the other parent is like like, you're kidding, then I'd end up. Well, I think as a parent, it's analysing the situation and how to deal with it and also teaching them to analyse situations and how to deal with them, you know, and it's hard, even us sometimes they don't. But it's just trying to give that, the base, you know, of, but it is, it's scary. I mean, I've got, well, Morgan, for example, all the spaces have opened now for registering for secondary school, so that's a new stage.

That's a big decision. So he's not just going to go to the next one up from the school he's in? No, I've decided not to. A lot of different reasons, just from my experience with Mason and, you know, a few of the families that I've had to translate for and be in the school with. It's just not the place for Morgan. It's just not.

He loves to learn and he loves being with his mates and all that course. But I just don't think. it's the right high secondary school for Morgan so he won't just be going to the standard one that you go to that everyone's following up to yeah we will be looking around other options and he's fine with that I think initially it was a bit but I think he so it was your decision and yeah it's not something Morgan necessarily wanted no no Morgan wanted to just go obviously with his friends which is natural it's always natural yeah I remember going from my primary school thinking all how many are going to go to

my secondary school, because literally these two seconds are next door to each other, but, you know, it's more of like a captain thing, isn't it? Well, I went to a secondary school with none of my friends because I went to the junior school. I don't know why I went to that junior school. It wasn't far away. Just a different area. Everyone went to the secondary school at the end of the road, but mine, because I ended up,

obviously, I must have been on the cusp or I went, maybe we moved to house, I can't remember, but I ended up going to a different secondary school to everybody. And I only knew Tony because we've gone to. gymnastics together so that was the only person that I knew going to my secondary school which was horrible like everyone's going to be together yeah you've had all them primary years together yeah but um i mean i went for two months and moved here so it was completely irrelevant uh but he's happy he's confident he knows he understands so you've explained to him yeah i have explained um it's better for him that you don't think it's suitable for him yeah yeah and he understands now

I think but I'm doing what I think's best for my child this child now in the moment that's all I can do yeah you know so that's good because a lot of people might not have even put too much thought in

you know the secondary school is in the area that's the only one they all go up together everyone's followed through the you know infant school and everything's done up so a lot of people probably don't even think about other options I did it with Mason and just just, it might, it was just from my experience. And again, Mason and Morgan are different people.

I get that. But the experience of the school for me with Morgan, it's just for education for him, it's for me as well, it's not, not the best. And I think if I can find something that's better for him, that that's doable, feasible, whatever, then I will do it. Yeah. But it's, it's a next stage. That's what I'm coming to.

It's that feeling of a next stage. And secondary school is going to be crucial to his development. And it's the same with the, we can talk about the phones again, but it's the same thing, you know, it's, you kind of can teach him so much. And then you've got to let them, you know, work it out for themselves. And it's not that I don't want Jason to not make mistakes, like I say, no kid's perfect. But I just want him to have all the tools and guidance. And yeah, so that he, yeah, so that he does have, not an easier life,

but obviously if he knows how to regulate his emotions and he knows how relationships, you know, should work and, you know, he feels good in himself and he's got good self-esteem and he knows, you know, what he's worth and those kind of things. And it's just going to make decisions, hopefully make better decisions.

And it's the decisions that you make in your life is what takes your life to, you know, success or not. I think by giving him a, I don't mean, disrespectful, but I think probably a little bit of a better opportunity, maybe. to learn more and grow more in a better way because like you say

this age is crucial and I'm not before the grades it's not about the grades as in oh I've got top grades no it's not about that that's not what I'm saying

I left school I do what I do you can get to where you want to get but I'm trying to give him just a better opportunity I think that's probably the best way to explain it because there's no disrespect in anywhere, it's just for me

and how we are that, yeah, I just wanted to just have that better opportunity and that there's there's no how to explain it because obviously every secondary school you're going to get something, something, obviously it's normal but just yeah, just try and give them a bit of a well that's the kind of thing that I've been

like toying with as well is like I can say education is important and kind of being a parent and being in like a different kind of, not world, but a different kind of time than when we was younger, where it was a lot about grades and that's how you got jobs and stuff. Things are very different now.

So I don't think I'm as grade kind of focused as I thought I would have been because I'm open to whatever he wants to do. You know, academic, sport, whatever he wants to do. At the moment he wants to be an artist. So we'll see. so yeah like I'm worried about his education

because he's so much more advanced than his class and like he comes home with homework and he's tracing like letters the kid can read and he's tracing letters and he can write he's pretty good at spelling like he's always been very advanced for his age

through his own you know like I say want to learn and you know now he's picking some you know not so great videos on YouTube to watch but up until very recently it was very educational the stuff he just enjoyed watching like that weird Russian show with teaching you how electrical and appliances work he's he's very fast learner I mean even just before recording this I was outside playing football with him he's only started

to like play football a little bit and Liam's taught him like the basics and he's going to be mum you need to be on your toe so that you can move I'm like all right and he's like if it goes so you need to move forward mum and like just the way he's explaining it word for word exactly how Liam's told him so it's like they're such a sponge yeah and I would just hate for him to not be in an environment where he's just constantly thinking and challenging and growing and that worries me like I know the school he goes to is ranked a pretty good school but again I can see the variety of kids in his class you know they're not going to you know they're going to slow things down to make sure everyone catches up rather than you know help him continue to

progress maybe faster than the rest and I don't think skipping years is a thing no but on the flip side then you don't want to challenge him too much that it becomes overwhelming and then no I want it to be fun I want it to still be like in that environment where he's inquisitive and he's asking questions and you know you know we said this before recording when we were talking about schools that the education system was created I think I read it the other day in the 1800s basically to make like workers so it's not set and basically you memorize and then you have to regurgitate the information that you've learned. There's no real thought behind it.

There's no creativeness behind it. There's no like problem solving, analytical, critical thinking. And ultimately, as soon as you walk out them to school gates and you go get a job, what your value is to a company or whether you're going to start a business, whatever you end up doing, is how well you can solve problems and how you deal with stress and, you know, being able to multitask and all those things. Real life. skills.

Dilemma should be say. Exactly. There is going to be a level of reading. There is going to be a level of, you know, how good you are at English and words. And there's going to be a level of, you know, maths solving problems. Yeah. Do we need to know, you know, how to calculate the angles in a triangle? Probably not.

But do we know, you know, algebra where you're having to figure out what numbers are? Yes, maybe. There's a level of everything that's included. It goes with life skills and whether that comes from. And I know as parents, we should teach a lot of those. life skills but then like you say the environment he's in for his brain is really important and the friends he makes is going to be the opportunities that he could end up having he might start a business with a friend that he goes to school with yeah he might end up working for someone's dad in his

school like you just don't know the opportunities that you're going to have and i do kind of feel like spain's a bit stunted for especially the area that we live in it depends because then look at me and look at mason there's example there's quite a lot of us that have done done well I've obviously done everything here and the same with Mason he had a moment where I think every age has we're repeating and not knowing where he's going

and what he's doing and so on and so on and it feels like everyone's doing the same thing and there's not a lot of opportunities but there is you've just got to go for it and try it like I mean obviously again it depends what you want to do but you can't just randomly pick

something that's out of the ordinary and expect there to be a job locally because that that ain't going to happen? No, but you, I think it just depends on, it's what I mean, I think it depends on what your drive is and how you are as a person. So, you know, as what I'm saying, even with Mason, we've been like this. I mean, age is a big, a big factor. But him, him, the change in him, should we say, from him doing more the practical side of learning and then on to work was huge.

I know it was an age thing too. But I feel like that when we were younger, we were able to work more and get these life experiences and using life skills in different jobs. Yeah, I started working at 1314. My first job was at like a market store on a Sunday, like making coffees and drinks and taking. And I don't feel like that's changing money. It's like if I feel like they don't even look at you until maybe you're 16. Well, I don't think people can technically actually employ you now. And, like, I just worked cash in hand.

Like, there was no contract. There was no, you know, safety and security or anything like that. It was, you know, you work and you get paid. And I worked one day a week. And then gradually, then I've got a job in a restaurant. And, you know, I've worked all the way through, like schools and college and uni, yeah, where a lot of my friends, sometimes they hadn't. And funny enough, when I actually was doing my master's alongside working, there was a room for, I mean, I was the older one there. I've done my master's the year I got married

so I would have been how old was I then 26, 27? No, I had K-HCEN at 27 About 25-26 I was Everyone else was a few years younger because I'd obviously had a few years working Before I went back to Dunabaster They'd basically gone straight from school

To college to uni, straight into masters They were, most of them were like 21, 22 They all had their rent paid for them They all had like an allowance from their parents every single one of them in that room. I was the only one that was actually working. Real life. Real life.

Yeah. I don't think any of them had even had a first job yet because they were in the education system. Obviously, a lot of parents say, as long as you're studying or doing something, then I'll pay for you. But like, they weren't even having a weekend job for, like, their own money. You lack then.

100% common sense for a stuff. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm real life skills and experiences. And I think that gives you more than anything. You can have someone who's top, top of a degree, yet they walk into, or someone walks, whatever, you lean a someone, you can't talk to that person.

Because you've got no experience. You know what you're doing, but the person that you're trying to, trying to, you know, get a job from, say, you've got no connection with because you don't know how you've got no people skills. And you know and we know, wherever we go to do something, the first thing is what's that feeling off that person? Yeah, 100%. You know?

Yeah. They might know all everything, but they seem like an idiot. Even a place that I've worked, they, and I didn't know. I obviously had my interviews and I've been quite lucky. I think I've got everyone bar one in the job that I've ever got interviewed for. No one's ever taught me how to interview. But it's just, again, worked since I was young. We've been around a lot of different people from different cultures, different nationalities, different ages.

So obviously that's rubbed off on me and I think that's helped me get to where I've got to. But when I was actually in a company and we were interviewing people, there was like front desks in the company and people were working and then the person would come in for their interview and he asked them to sit down and he said, I'll be five minutes and then he'd wait in the back before the interview. And he was like, tell me what they do in like the five, ten minutes that they're waiting. So he'd actually leave you sat there and judge you based on before you've even gone into the interview. Did you interact with the two people sat there? Did you just sit on your phone? You know, did you actually maybe pick up, you know, one of the brochures for the

company and start looking through it? Like he, yeah, you basically had a test before you got into the interview and it's yeah there's a lot of life skills that come and I think to be an all-round successful person it's a mixture of everything and yeah you could go down more the academic route you could go down more the social route but I think a lot of jobs require both to do to do well and I think more so now with the paper you know like to do something it's more of a well you need the paper to do that you can't just do that depends on careers now I think years ago like you had to have finished school they looked at least for like A levels university degrees in most corporate companies.

Didn't matter what, as long as you've got one. So, yeah, previous, it was a lot of, like, accreditations and paper, and you had to kind of get a certain level before you even looked at. Whereas I think now people are a lot more open to experience. But it depends because, obviously, if you're an electrician, there are paperwork that you need. If you want to be a physiotherapist, there's paper that you need. That's what I mean.

I think back in the day, you've got people who are handymen that do electrics all over, whereas now you can't have... Yeah, there is a little bit more like, yeah. that just certification that you are allowed to do it in a way and this is what I was trying to say to mine as well whereas you know don't you don't it's important but it's not worth the stress and tears over the fact that when you get your results

and you get your certificate it doesn't say what you got what your result was just that you got it yes you know what I mean that you've got it yeah exactly at most if you ever meet a customer there's going to say oh just checking that your license or whatever the thing is and you're going to go yeah they're not going to say what did you get on your dissertation at university and i feel mason's learned actually more in the work yeah than actually reading the book which i did anyway i did too and i know people learn in different ways but

that i can see so much of a change and we in a wet world i said we we'd been to gibraltar we came back and he's been in and he's changed all the sockets and mouths you know it's just it's that and before he could have done that because he's learning on the book you know on paper you know by the But it's learning, but he has additional confidence, isn't it? When you actually get to do a job, it's like when you start a new job, you're always much more nervous. And once you've been there for a couple of weeks or a couple of months, like you need that confidence in action to do it. You know, even me, I went from, you know, one currency company to another currency company doing the same job. But, you know, there's still new people, new systems.

Like, there's still a bit of new stuff that comes along with it that you have to build confidence for. and yeah again having growing raising children to have a level of confidence that I can figure it out I might not be good at it the first time I do it but you know it's not going to stop me as long as I keep trying then I'll get someone I think yeah again something that I probably struggle with growing up so that's something that I want to change with with my kids is the look you're a good person you try hard you'll be fine like you'll get to where you want to get to and there's a hundred different ways to get to the same place so it doesn't matter if it doesn't look the way that you think it looked

or things happen along the way but ultimately if you're a good person and you try hard you're not going to you're not going to flop you know you might end up doing something completely different to what you thought originally you were going to do because you might along the way figure out what you want to do as long as you give things a go and you try even opinions change I might say this week

I think this is this and then you ask me next year and I'm going to maybe say a different opinion Well, we're not all the same people and I think, you know, like we all grow and, you know, the more you learn things, the more you change your opinion, you know, the more I've learned about certain things. And I didn't have any screen rules because I thought, you know, he picks educational things. And he's very intelligent. And a lot of it is because of the stuff he's watched. So I've never had screen restrictions. Now he's getting to a bit older and he's picking different things. And I'm seeing a lot more science stuff that is saying, you know, too much screen time, this and the other. And I've started to notice his behavior a little bit. when I'm asking him to turn it off of bed, he's like, no, or he struggles to get to sleep. So now we're cutting it back a little bit earlier. So, yeah, we start to do little things. But then at the same time, I want him to be a kid,

so I don't want to be like, you must, because I've seen another thing, you have to earn your screen time. You have to do all these things before you're allowed it. And I agree in a certain way, but it's like, if he's just come home from school, you've been learning all day, I don't want make him, you know, some people are saying you have to do all your homework,

you have to clean all your room, you have to do, you know, some physical, like, movement. before you can have anything. And I'm like, just let him be a kid and chill when he comes home for a couple of hours. I try to teach mine more that the control, that they need to control there. Not me telling them all the time

because I do feel like that's all I do. It's more that you need to control when you run off it. Morgan's great at it. Morgan's brilliant. Lexi's obviously a different age and a different, do you know what I mean? That's the one for me that I find her the biggest. Like literally, there's Lexi, and then there's Lexi because she's founded something.

She's managed to get a phone and yeah Yeah no it is it's hard He's getting better Like saying the breaks When I tell him it's a break time And he'll stop And he'll instantly go to his toys

And he'll play And sometimes he asks me If his breaks over And that could be like two hours later And sometimes he doesn't even ask But what I've started to do Is when his device has run out And I'm like oh you best put that on charge

I used to just take it and do it Or I'd remind him Now I say it once And then when he's closed to go back And it's dead I'm like, told you. I said, your devices are your responsibility. You need to be the one to make sure it's got battery.

I'm not doing that for you. It's yours. So, yeah, it's again, it's a little bit of responsibility, but also, like you say, giving them the power to make the decisions. So, you know, we've started to say, like, you know, the later you go on it, then, you know, when it comes to bedtime, you struggle to sleep. So that's not nice.

So you might want to stop it. It's getting them to, like, say, make the good decisions for themselves. And sometimes, most of the time, they don't. I still have to go and tell them, but it's just trying to... It's getting them to think about it and they're not going to be perfect. They're still teaching. We're still learning. And every house is different as well. So some might...

You know what I mean? I might, right, right, you need to get off that now, whereas she might be talking with someone who's still allowed the phone or they might even have their own phone or the same with Morgan that they might be allowed on their game a bit later or be allowed to awake a bit later or whatever it is. So that's a hard one as well, but that's for me, you've just got trying to stick with you in your home because it's very easy for seven, seven, seven, no, you are you and you, you know yours and

what's best for you and you just try and stick to it as much. And you've got to question yourself. It's good sometimes to question yourself, but don't so much because you know you're doing the right thing. Yeah, that's what I. Yeah, use your instinct a little bit and don't feel guilt-tripped into doing something you're not comfortable with. Like, well, if all 10-year-olds have a phone, my 10-year-old should have a phone,

but I'm really not comfortable. I don't think they are at the maturity age that I can trust them with the phone yet. Right. Well, if you don't feel like that, don't do it just because. everybody else is doing it and I think like you say that is hard as a parent because you don't want to do anything wrong and you don't want them to be the left one out questioning am i being a dick yeah or am i overthinking it do i need to just let them thing more so yeah that's i'm i'm thinking about schools and stuff and whether to to pull him out and and put him somewhere else and

and even the opportunities me and liam have had a few conversations in the last couple of weeks especially like i'm happy being here now for at least the next couple of years but do i want to maybe moved to a place that when they do finish school they're going to have more opportunities that they can do more things. In what way? Because obviously for me I can't see that. Yeah. But I just would wonder

what you thought. Like for me I'm like well whatever you want to do opportunities are out there but I'm just trying to understand your thought process of it. I think there's opportunities out there. I'm not saying that there's not and like you say you work for yourself. Mitch works for himself Mason's doing a great job like

there's definitely good reasons to stay and actually I looked best places to live across the world and out of 25 by Forbes magazine top 25 not one state of America was in there not one place in Canada was on there and actually five or six places were Spain Valencia was number one

Malaga, Balasalona Madrid and stuff there was a lot of Spain in there strangely but yeah no I just feel like maybe it's the particular area that we live in it's very you know of an older generation there's not as many kids there's not really like

youth places to go there's football, there's dance but there's not a huge variety of activities. No, that's one thing I would agree with there's not much for the community as So for them to be interested in different things and to encourage that and then also, you know, for them to hang out

you know, we've got loads of bars and restaurants but what are you going to do as a teenager? We hung around in car parks, you know, and things like that. And then also the friends that they're with and stuff, yeah, there's going to be a number of people that, you know, are good role models that have good businesses or that work in good companies that have good careers. But the different avenues of what you can go into, I think

are very limited real estate, currency, you know, obviously dentistry, TV and things like. They're all, and, you know, electrical stuff, they're all good careers. There's probably maybe another 10, 20 that you can go into. But I'm trying to what's not anything. I just think, I think, whatever you want to do, you can do anywhere in the world. Yeah, but then it's like I'm bringing up And something someone said to me is like One of their reasons was like I'm bringing up kids that basically have to leave me

Yeah Whereas I'd like Case and Hayden to live at home as long as possible Because I don't want you to rush out and rent your own place I don't want you to get into that thing I want you to stay at home And I want you to spend all your money on Starting a business trying that out

Jumping from business to business Exploring things travelling like, yeah, experience life before you get into all the responsibility because we did that a lot younger but I think our generation did just jump into that but I said to amazing with earning this is probably the richest in a way

that you're ever going to be because you've got no outgoing you've got to try and manage your money money management's a big thing I think to teach anyway but yeah I think that well I don't know I don't know then I for me personally I just would think it doesn't matter where you are

as long as you stick to how you are with your family it doesn't matter where you put Yeah and I agree I agree to a degree with that but then there's also the thing of like if you put a shark in a small restricted pool

they grow to a certain size if you then put them in the ocean they grow bigger the same shark like it's like how much you can grow comes from how much you experience and what job opportunities like I don't even know half the jobs

that are out there and I fell into mine nobody knows a lot of the time unless you've got something specific that you really want to do because you're passionate about or you want to get into the same line of career that your parents did or family friends then it's easier to kind of know and navigate but there's so much out there that you just don't know

and I don't feel like we live in a place and even Spain as a country even though I love the, you know, the weather, the Mediterranean lifestyle, the work-life balance, the kids can be outside, all of that, there's benefits and that's why I said I'm happy to be here now and the second language, all of that's fantastic. But like we don't really live in a place that's massively entrepreneurial. We don't live in a place that kind of encourages small businesses to start that helps you. The highest income tax is in this country for self-employment.

You don't get any benefits for self-employed people. Like, things like that. Yeah, that's different. But I think that's a, that's more political and that's more the government of... But that's the country you choose to live in can affect... Yeah, but every country. Yeah. America right now, they don't even know what's going on with it.

No, exactly. And even getting worse for the day. Yeah. I mean, they say Dubai is the best place, but I don't think that's going to last very long. Do you get what I mean? So I don't... I would rather teach mine that it doesn't matter where you are, you can do whatever you want. Yeah.

Rather than go to there because it's better. Do you get what I'm just. trying to say? Yeah, I'm not saying like to go somewhere. I think just like growing up in an environment where you can teach your kids that, but is the reality around when they're actually looking to apply for jobs and they're looking at like different interests to get to? Can they actually do that? It's like you can encourage your kids, but if they're growing up with all their friends going, I'm going to go work in a bar and I'm going to do this and I'm going, you know, it's like you could do your very best to give them that mentality, but then it's everything else

around them and their opportunity of stuff they can get into. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. You're right. And not every there's going to be good and bad to every country. But that's like with Morgan when I'm making that decision that he doesn't go to that school. That's what I mean. You're making the decision about the school because it's so important. The country you choose to live in is so

important as well. It's more the everything that goes on in the school. I don't think he should be, I don't think he doesn't need to go and be all in that. Do you know what I mean? He can do that because that's what he's going there for and then he can do the social life on another time. Do you know what of the day but it's hard it's a sorry that was I was just trying to work out I was like you're not

moving you're not moving why do you want to move no no it was it was just trying to work out why for me well just the whole conversation that we've just had is like in my eyes we can do our very best and we can teach them that yeah you know sky's the limit you can do anything you want encourage them but then like the hobbies they get into the work experience that they can have the mentality of the country and how they set things up and how you can start businesses and the rules and the regulations. Like, there's a lot that goes into that you don't even realize, like, I don't know anything about politics, never cared, not interested,

but obviously the country I choose to live in and their rules and regulations affect me in my life. So, again, not something I understand or get into, but then the decisions that you make affect. So, yeah, and because we are in an area that isn't really geared towards kids and families and stuff like that is a little bit, but no. like activity wise. Yeah, there's not. I think activity wise, no.

I think you've got a lot of families and everyone here wanting it all, but there's not, that's, again, that's the thing of us wanting to be independent that, that's a whole other story. Yeah. But, no, it is. It's a very hard balance. It is a hard balance.

But then I enjoy, like you say, at this age, I think it's good. But yeah, it's just that maybe it's just moving schools. Maybe I feel like he's just more challenged and interested and, you know, inspired. just by that. Yeah. And then we'll sit.

Yeah. That's for me. You've got to do... Just like say, me and Liam, we've got, you know, great careers and things. You know, we're very comfortable. But then, I don't know. Then I just see other places and I'm like, would it be better to take them there?

I don't know. Yeah. Well, the thing is, if you've got them and thoughts in your mind, then for them reasons, for you and your family, then if it comes to it, then you try it and you see if it's better for you. Do you know what I mean? It's not saying that I've ever really... Just haven't.

I'm quite, but I've gone the opposite now in what I'm, I've gone like from wanting to be like this kind of thing to be no, I just want to be in my own little bubble. Don't know, don't even, you know what I mean? Just leave me alone. Members only. Yeah, you know. No, you're cats up with us.

I don't know, exactly. But yeah, it's just, I don't know why, I don't know how. I think I've just gone to more the basics, I think. Yeah, and I think we have as well, you know. I used to have really high, And I feel like, you know, at the same time, I just, I want, I don't want the, the hustle and the grind that I used to do. Like, I want something more chilled and, you know, to be able to enjoy it. And I don't want to, you know, keep going for the bigger house, for the better car. I don't want to

do that. I'm quite happy with where we're at. So, and it's like not going further just for the sake of going further. Do I, do I want it? Do I really want it? If so, yes. But also trying to teach your children to strive more and you know yeah you want to strive but then you don't want to be chasing especially just for the impression to give to other people like is it something you really want um and knowing when enough's enough yeah i think that's the thing to burn out yeah and that's on everything really and it with work life exactly so it's finding that so yeah that's kind of the the the well i was going to say dilemma but it's not really the dilemma because we are happy for for the time being.

Yeah. I am thinking maybe school-wise, especially in the next year. These things that end up just circling around in your head, don't you think about. That's the hardest bit about being a parent in my eyes and the hardest thing about being a mum is not physically looking after them. It's the mental drainess of the thousands of questions and doubting

and am I doing the right thing. All of that is what is hard being a parent. And you don't really know on the bum, because I don't think the dad sink that deep. You've just got to go on, on what you feel for that at that time and hope you, as a pairing, you only want the best for your children.

So whatever you choose in the end or, you know, it's only because you think it was the best decision for them at the time, you know, and things might change and you change a decision and that's what happens. And you can, you know, we might decide to move and then realise it's not the right thing and then come back

or go somewhere else. Like, like saying, you can teach your kids that you're not always going to make the right decision. And I didn't mean dads don't go that deep, But, yeah, I think we go, we overthink things. We overthick more, I would say. I think they would probably see us overthinking and be like, what's the matter?

And ask us, they wouldn't put it in their head. Obviously, they care as much as we care, but they probably don't overthink all the little tiny details of, am I feeding them enough vegetables? Have they getting enough sleep? Are they drinking enough, you know, all the extra layers that we go into. But, yeah, it's all fun and games being a parent. It is.

But no, I feel like I'm getting to a nice, happy place. And, yeah, it's just thinking of the next steps. Because, like I say, we've pushed and pushed and pushed to get to this point. I'm enjoying it. But yeah, what is the next steps? What are we going to be up to in the next five years? But that's the thing, I think, because we've always, for us, of thinking what's next, is weird that maybe we're more weird for you.

We're like, oh, I don't have a, what's my next plan? You know, I don't have a next five year. But I've stopped that now. Yeah. I'm just forgetting all that. Yeah. That's just for now. change it could change again but for now i'm just going with the flow and not with the children

obviously that's a different now at a different stage yeah i do have to think ahead for them and try and think what's you know that kind of thing yeah um but for me personally i'm happy on yeah yeah that's just me good good good right well um should we finish on uh a quick little game yeah i like so trying to think of a different type of game so one thing that keeps coming up on my on my ticot when i'm scrolling is uh a game called am i the arseholt Okay. So basically someone shares a story and because they don't know if they're the asshole in the story or if it's the other people and actually they're not. So I've got an example of one that I read or heard earlier and then yeah we can debate with that they're

the asshole. So there's a group of friends, four or five girlfriends that have been friends since school and now they're, you know, basically like us. We've gone through schooling and college and we've all grown up together and they do this thing. where they go for dinner every month. And each time, yeah, they stick to it as well, although we won't have to implement this. And each time they go, one of them pays for the bill for the entire dinner.

So each time they go, they share the alternate bill. So rather than split everything every time, one of them pays. So it ends up being the same because they basically say they go to a similar restaurant. Everyone has a meal, a drink, and it's pretty fair and pretty the same every time they go. So recently, and then they've done this for years

and then recently they've added a babysitter to babysit the majority of the kids so I think they've made me put all the kids together and they get one babysitter but let's say there's five girls one of them doesn't have a child

so four of them do one of them doesn't so they've got all their kids together they've paid this babysitter to watch the kids so that they can all enjoy the meal and the girl who doesn't have kids it's her turn to pay for the dinner so she's paid for the dinner she's gone home as normal and then she gets a message from one of the other girls saying oh you need to

pay a hundred dollars for the babysitter because when they're taking turns they cover the dinner and the babysitter she's got no children and then it's got round to the girl who doesn't have kids and the other the other friends have said well that's part of the bill so you need to pay for it in addition to she just pay for everyone's dinner so she's like I'd said no I don't have kids it shouldn't be for me to pay for the bill and the other friend's argument is well you know it's part of us all being able to come out together

and enjoy each other's company and see each other part of that is the babysitter so that's the difference of opinion so the girls like am I the asshole because I wouldn't pay for the babysitter no no I don't know I don't think I feel your mates are assholes yeah literally yeah no their choice to have children

and I love them dearly because they're my friend's children Yeah Right But we're going for... I don't have children Why are I paying a child In that child mind or whatever Exactly especially

It was just implied that you would pay Nobody asked They just said you've got the bill Yeah no she's not The only time A friend that doesn't have kids Should pay for the babysitter Is if you invite a friend down

And then I can't afford a babysitter If you then decide I'll pay for that because I really want to take you out, then you offer. But at no point should you ever be told you have to pay for the bill when you don't have kids? No, that's, that becomes a, yeah, but I'm going to say. Unless you all agree, like, look, there's this fee. Are we splitting this between the mums?

Are you wanting to chip in? Are you not like, there needs to be a conversation at least. I feel like if you choose not to. We would be like, oh, no, you're not going to have children. You're not including this split. Absolutely. Which is why she's not the ass of because I wouldn't do it. to my friend.

No, you're definitely not an arsehole. No. I'd say get new friends. Ditch them, bitches. Or get a kid and then you just have a child and then it just sold the argument. And then you can't pay for the babysitter and then everyone's happy and friends again. Maybe not the best solution.

But no, my answer to that, no, you are not. You are not the arsexual. Yeah. I like that one. Yeah. I'll bring another example. Yeah. That's good one.

That's one thing that has got me glued on TikTok at the moment is, am I the asshole? So what's she the arsehold? Do you guys agree? We'll see. Do you agree with the friends? Yeah. Friends.

I can use it. Yeah. Friends. I think that wraps us up for today. Right. Well, as again, thanks for following us all the way to the end. We know we get into it and chat a lot, but we can't help it. But hopefully it's interesting for you guys and you can take things away.

And yeah, for the things that we're still unsure about, if you want to send us your opinion, question, stories then we're happy to include them in the episode so thanks again for watching like share subscribe keep smiling bye guys