The Rising’s Growing Together Podcast - Parenting Wins, Sustainable Living & Relationship Growth | Real Talk on Family & Communication Ep.10

Episode Date: May 12, 2025

How do you balance parenting struggles, sustainability, and healthy relationships? In this episode of Growing Together, Billie and Charlotte open up about the joys and challenges of parenting, eco-friendly living, and improving communication in relationships. They dive into: • Parenting wins and struggles from school projects to family time • The importance of sustainable living at home and eco-friendly, non-toxic products • How to balance family dynamics and improve communication, especially when emotions run high • Why writing things down during tough moments can change everything • How big life decisions ripple through parenting and relationshipsIf you’re looking for practical tips on eco-conscious parenting, emotional intelligence, and creating balance in family life, this episode is for you. The ripple effect of big family decisions SHARE THIS EPISODE & WIN! Share this episode on your Instagram or Facebook Story, tag us @therising1111, and you’ll be entered to win a shoutout in our next episode plus a FREE bonus resource on effective communication in relationships. New episodes every Friday Subscribe for more real talk on parenting, relationships, and personal growth. Hosted by Billie & Charlotte best friends, ambitious mums, and career women sharing what it’s really like behind the scenes.

Welcome back to another episode of Growing Together. Hi, that was a good. Hello. Welcome back. How have you been? Good. Been good. I haven't had anything exciting, should I say, happen this week.

Yeah, I've had a bit of a warm week as well. Yeah, just normal work, which is good. I love my work, so that's nice. Kids, hobbies, norm. And, well, Lexi's had a project this week, so that's been the main focus of the point this week at home. What's the project on? Well, she had two different ones. She had like a voluntary one,

which obviously she has to do as well. One was in English, that was, I say it's okay, because it doesn't make a difference, the language for us. One was she had to do a project about on flamingos, well, anything, but she chose flamingos. So then she had to find all the information because we don't know information about flamingos. She could choose anything that she knew about, you know,

that she does like flamenco. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it teaches just something, obviously. but the flimbing nose are very long ankles. I didn't know that. I knew this bit, that they're pink because of the salt. Actually, their natural colour would be more of like a white.

And I heard that they stand with one leg and they bend one leg up and then they swap their legs. Yeah, I don't know why that is. I didn't go that into much detail. We just more decorated it. That was more of it. We did get information. That was one and the other one was

oh, butterflies. That's nice. Yeah, that was good. That was the Spanish language, not language, but we had to write in Spanish. That we did. That was nice. And we'd been to the butterfly house, Mariposario, when we went on holiday down Malaga Way. We went there before and we loved it.

So that was nice for her to be able to actually knew some stuff. So yeah, that was it really. Project done and dusted, sent in. I wouldn't mind doing like little project. It's Kaysen just gets sheets of just boring work. Yeah, it's all right when you're ready for it. Then you get two at a time off. Yeah.

And like not enough time to do things and stuff. Well, it's not that I'm ready to do it. When I get Lexi to want to do it now when it's time to go to bed or I'm busy or cooking dinner or yeah, exactly the day before. Yeah, exactly the day before. Yeah, about right. Yeah, no, it was good. It's nice to do things like that. It is in the end.

Every now and then, like that's a nice result. And that's what I mean. If it's something interesting that you can both get involved in them and stuff, and it's fun. But if it's about the Stone Age or something's boring. Well, actually, the butterflies are nicked from my mum because she had cut some butterflies out for something that she used for decorating. And Lexi just took them.

So we used them and stuck them all to do like a 3D thing on the paper. But yeah, no, it was fun. So that was my way. Again, nothing exciting. But in the end, it's under the memory for the memory book that we made it through doing a project together. About killing each other. Or ripping the thing up. I always do that, like, not the case to get to it from school,

but every now and then I'll see something on Pinterest. And I'll be, oh, that'd be a nice activity for us. Then I'll go and get all the stuff. Then he doesn't want to do it or time you bother. Or he starts and gets bored. Then I'm the one for, you know, for us on, was it Christmas with the gingerbread house? Yeah. Okay, you didn't get anything to do it with.

You just literally got the house. Well, the packaging has the house. It has all the decorating bits. It has, you know, it's made. So grab that. I thought that's great for the kids. It does say on the front, it's not included.

Stuff's not included. But I didn't read that closely, obviously. I just grabbed it. So that was quite funny, actually. But that was, that's the memory. You know,

the thought of it. They actually loved it. All they had was a little, well, luckily, you had a little bits. So then they, rather than glue it together, which I've never actually done it before

and people that have done it told me, like the holding it together and gluing it is actually really long and boring for the kids. So actually they all just took a piece of the house. And then they decorated it with the little key decorated. They did. They absolutely loved it.

And like I say, it was funny in the end that it didn't come with the stuff. Because otherwise we probably would have sat there for ages trying to glue it all together before they could decorate it. It is them little things that I'll go back to even COVID again. That was our favourite, luckily, it was our favourite time for us to be doing stuff. And you know, when they, you know, you had like groups on Facebook and the social media here about what to do and, you know, just pass your time. and whatever, and them little arts and crafts ideas, you know, whether it was drawing a hand

and letting Lexi paint the nails on that on a carpet, a cardboard or something for. Or like lining the toys up in the sun and then you've got the shadow and then you can draw around it. Exactly, all things like that that sometimes you don't even look for. You don't even if I haven't got the time for that bad.

Actually, when you look back, it was nice to do all that thing, it is. Yours were at a good age, I think, at that point. Yeah, Cason was one and a half. Yeah, there was not much to do. Yeah, I didn't really do much to do him. But yeah, no, like I say, we went and got like all the polystyrene balls because he was really into the solar system and he started painting one or two

and then I ended up painting all the rest. Thank you, but you finish it. Yeah. Yeah. No, but it is. It was good. It was good. We did it.

We got it to the end. We'll see what she gets. Not our eyes. I'll be fun. We're happy with it. That's all the matters. Yeah. And it was fun.

Yeah. Yeah. No, we've, we've not been up to much. But one thing I've been doing this week is after I finish work, I've been coming in and then taking the voids out for a while. walk. Now the weather's got a little bit nicer, like the sun's out and stuff and like, I'm in the front of a computer most of the day. And then Kaysen finishes school, he has a couple of hours to chill, have lunch, play, PlayStation, whatever he wants to do for a couple of hours. And then

it's like, right, now I'm finished. Let's get out of the house. And normally Hayden's been at home all day. So then he gets to go out and he loves a walk. He gets so excited. And then Kaysen moans, but then the minute he gets out, he loves it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He doesn't even want to go Who wants to go the long way home? Yeah, but mine are a bit like that. I mean, we've got a dog, so it's a bit different in the fact that we have to go out. Yeah.

I mean, the boys have got like a routine between them to do him one in the morning, one at night, and then we do the afternoon. But when we go on like a big family walk kind of thing, yeah, it's hard to get him out. Then I don't do this, but then when we get them out, like you say, do we have to go back, yeah? And walk like miles, miles and miles.

Like that's bath time, isn't it? You drag them and then it's like, get out. No, I don't want to get out. Yeah. But, like I say, with the weather, it's been a bit nice and it's just, I'm just a bit bored of doing the same kind of walk. It's quite nice because we live in a little bit of a close so we can walk through some of the roads that, you know, are very empty

and then we normally go up and do a big loop, either one way or the other way. But then we walked down from ours to the plaza the other day, which isn't really an exciting walk, but they've got this feastable's chocolate from this YouTuber that Kaysen likes in the full mile. opposite Willow's in the supermarket. Five-year-o chocolate.

Wow. He paid a 50. He's ate it twice now and he says he likes it. But yes, he's this big YouTuber that he's into Mr. Beast who's, like, massively popular. Yeah. Yeah, I know who you're going to say. I was like, well, it's going to take us a good 20, 25 minutes to walk there

and then back. So, yeah. But he smashed it. Yeah, yeah. He got it and he was like, oh, it was definitely worth coming. I'm not sure if it's worth walking back. I was like, yeah, the walk back's always the hard no choice, mate. But yeah, like I say, every now and then I said,

we can walk that way and then you can get his little chocolate and stuff. And I thought it was quite expensive, but it is, I guess, made, I don't know if it's made in America, but when he's been watching lots of Mr. Beast YouTube videos, Mr. Bees said that actually he didn't realize how much child labor is in making chocolate in all the big companies because it's all generally sourced from Africa and other countries like that

or like the cocoa beans and stuff there's a lot of child labour and like basically working for nothing so he's trying to make his company like ethically and like there's no child labour I'll pay more to get the staff yeah but there's no kids that can be involved

which is why it's probably a little bit more so so is it adult labour well yeah yeah adults are allowed to work yeah okay it's just the way is it yeah children can't work for nothing, but adults can work for nothing. Well, he probably pays, I think he said like he's paying more fair wages and like he's trying

to make things, yeah, like better because otherwise, yeah, all these, all these big companies make it millions and stuff and yeah, they're not actually paying their staff very well and kids are involved. And he said it was, it was scary how many kids is in that industry. I had no idea. You don't, we don't know. We don't really know what, what, anything, to be fair, not much. Yeah, I don't really look at labels and stuff like that. No. And what's really beyond the label, you know? We don't really know, do we?

No. Someone like, you know, in them opportunities can really just, you know. Yeah, he's got the platform and he's got the money. But yeah. But talking about products and things and stuff, I did have an app that I'm trying to use more. I think it's called Yucca or Yucca. And then you can scan the barcode and it says good or bad

to tell you like how kind of... Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my house is done from your... Yeah, I've done it every now and then to try and get like slightly better deodorant and slightly better hair products, but I haven't really done it for everything. Yeah, no, I'm like a member, I pay yearly.

Do you? Yeah, yeah. What happens if you pay then? Because mine's free. You just get more... I think it depends on how much you scan. So because I was actually introduced to it from our close friend of ours.

Yeah. And initially it's a lot, a lot to go around everything to try and change it. Do you know what I mean? She literally got a scan, scan, scams, scams, all the time. But obviously, once you've done the majority of stuff, it's only certain stuff when you come across.

Well, that's it. It sounds like a lot. But once you've replaced, this is now my deodorant, you're always going to buy the same deodorant. So my shampoo, my conditioners, my body washes, my hands soaps, my deodorants, my, you know, most that, really. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, now I want to do that because I've watched a few podcasts and things that I watch and some of them are interviewing like, you know, health experts, nutritionists and all stuff like that. And one of them said, like, he hired a nutritionist and one of the first things he thought they were going to talk about food. But it was all the chemicals you put in your body from all the stuff that we use every day and then like what you're thinking.

And there was a woman actually who's she got into it. I think, I don't know if it was herself that felt ill or her child felt ill. It might have been cancer or something. I can't remember exactly. But basically she got into like trying to figure out. how to make herself or her child better. And then it led her down like a rabbit hole of realizing how much plastic you consume without realizing.

Even just like a chopping board, it all comes apart, you eat it. Frying pans that have the non-stick, that non-stick thing comes apart and you eat it. Plastic containers and tubs, microwave. And then I was like, oh, I'm guilty of all those. See, I don't want to go too much. But if you can make little improvements. Yeah, I was, obviously, chauvin board, my wooden.

It was funny actually say that because one of Morgan's friend was around the house the other day and we did have a few plastic ones just in the cupboard and his dad's a chef and as I opened the cupboard, he mentioned, did you know that the amount of plastic that he had over chubber? I was like, yeah, I literally just chucked them straight in the biggest I don't even know why they were there.

I don't know, because I just heard that and obviously it makes total sense but it's not something that I would have thought of. Yeah, it does. I don't have a microwave. You don't? I don't have a microwave. So I did.

I was going to say I've seen a microwave. I've had a microwave in the past. But since I had the last one, it broke, and I just never got another one. How do you warm things up? On the hob. Mainly, yeah. You know, so like, for me it would be like, okay, so food, that's the episode of you reheating a dinner. Yeah.

I can't, I don't, I don't know how to do it. I don't do it. Do you get what I mean? I just can't do that. So, more like your baked beans on the hot, on the hop. Do you know what I mean? That's things I would have done. and reheating a dinner.

So like Mason, Mason would be in a different time. So he would have his dinner plated up and he'd just come and heat his dinner up. So now it's just more thinking about what I'm cooking to heat up, I suppose. But I don't really think about it now because I'm used to it, I suppose. Does that make sense? If you took my microwave off me tomorrow, I'd struggle because we use our microwave a lot.

And a lot of it is just reheating things. But I would have said the same thing, but I think I've just got used to it. You just get used to cooking it on the hob instead. like just whack it in a pot. Yeah, yeah. I'm trying to think now, but yeah, it would just... Most of the stuff we reheat is like, yeah, like leftovers or, like, say, beans. You use half a tin, you put the other half the fridge, then you're warming back up and stuff like that.

Yeah. And spaghetti hoops. Obviously, that's Kaysen's, like, prime time lunch. Yeah. Lunch thingy as is a... But then I've had after-do it now, I'd obviously do it on the hob. Whereas if I had the microwave, I would put it in the microwave. I don't know if I could go to the next ditching my microwave.

But I think I want to get rid of, like, the pots and stuff like that. I think I want to get, like, even like glass tubs, Tupper West and use them instead. Yeah, that bloody covered. Why is there so many lids? Why do the lids stay? I genuinely open the other day. I was like, not even going to, I'm not even going to, just going to shut it. It's the bade in my life.

We've got a big bottom drawer, and that's where basically all the tubs go, all the lids go. case and lunch boxes for school and like all the plastic plates from when he was like kid and like plastic bowls and stuff like that and I keep it fairly tidy like all the pots go on top of each other I've got a thing of all the lids

but then like Liam just doesn't realise there's any organisation in that drawer and he just throws everything on top so every time I open it I have to tidy it before I can get to the thing I want I just can't even do it I'll just shut the door I don't know it yeah in my head I just love and organised

Glass ones are supposed to be. But yeah, it's... Little things like that, I'm going to start doing. Yeah, yeah, it is... Even sprays, I'm just looking now that... I don't know what it's called. Pupuree. What's it called?

Popu-puree. Is it? Poeperee. No, popourri. Puree. No, that's baby food. Popery. Love that.

You know, like the sprays that they, you know, you sprays that you have off in the house. She did say that, in the... Candles are actually really bad. I've seen, like, babies have, like, black suit up. I know, you shouldn't have candles in a room with a baby. All these little things. But then how far do you go?

Do you know what I mean? I've got to just... I did ditch my air spray deodorant for about a week. That's a hard one. That's the hardest, I think. I do much prefer a spray than a roll on, but she said all the air particles. And then, so yeah, I tried, didn't like it. Maybe I'll just try a different roll on and stuff.

Because there's this new one going around that all the celebrities are endorsing. The wild. Is it get fussy, fuzzy or something? I don't know. It's like a roll on stick, but it's like, I think it's reusable. So you keep the main part of it. And I guess you just get the bit to put in it and stuff. And everyone's saying it smells lovely and it's good and stuff.

So I like looking to that one. But I don't know for it's an English thing. Well, it's all worth a go. If it's if it is. Do you know what we? Because the only thing I don't know if I would want to give up is my Febrize air mist. See, I used to use all that. I just don't use anything like that now?

I don't use it regularly. It's weird, isn't it? If I've cleaned the house and it's clean. Yeah, don't get marked And the beds are made If I did in my cupboard I'd probably go and spray It's just that I just don't buy it now

You know like it's just one of them It's not something that is 100% always in my cupboard But if we go to Iceland Then I know I've run out Then that is something that I do like to work Yeah, it's just hard knowing Just to think over I feel sometimes I'm being so over the top

And when I watched it I wanted to ditch my whole kitchen But then I was like no Like it's just not realistic So yeah I think ditch some of the plastics I will get some better like products and stuff

at least start with that that's a that's a big challenge just educating ourselves and trying to understand it a bit more because we only know what we've been told didn't we yeah definitely that is literally it yeah and research neat yourself I think as well yeah rather than just listen to what one person said and then be like oh so yeah no that's that's definitely something I need to do

because like I say once you've replaced it once it's done and then you don't have to think about that that's now your cream your deodon? Because how often do you actually change your products? You don't. You just start with something and then you carry on with it. So once that's why it is. Yeah. Because it's the change. Like you said the other day it's not hard. It's new or whatever. Yeah. It's not hard because it's hard. Yeah. There you go. That's it. Exactly that. It's because it's changed and you know. Some things aren't good and you think no, that's not going to work for me. I'm going to have to do this or go back to that, you know. But it's worth,

definitely work for drive. It's going to better your health, general health, kids health, whatever, you know? Sounds good. Mother's Day Sunday though It is indeed I picked up my Mother's Day flowers For my mum today Lose an hour though To be fair

I know how annoying is that Typical Mother's Day The clocks go back Yeah Hmm Sounds about right planned by someone else Isn't it?

Sounds like a man planned that one So you got your flowers I haven't I haven't planned anything like that I'm Yeah I will I was just worried that they I wouldn't be able to get flowers

And it was Rick actually That messaged me and was like, can you sort it? I was like, yeah, I'll sort it because she's away. So then, yeah. Yeah, so that's great. But then saying that with the hour, losing the hour on that day, they'll be nice then.

So then that's the new, we're switching, aren't we, into spring? Yeah. Yeah, it does feel brighter. It feels warmer. It's that perfect temperature at the moment where it's sunny, but it's not too hot. Yeah, it is the perfect temperature. And then all the flowers are out and it's like colorful.

It is the perfect temperature. It's lovely. It's beautiful. weather. Inside's cold. It is and it drives me insane because I don't know what to wear because outside it's like 40 degrees and now I'm in here and I feel a bit colder. Yeah it's that time and you know you haven't been I don't know sunkiss will you have because you've been on a holiday but you haven't mean you know you feel a little bit pale and even just putting a dress on even though it's nice and going out you feel a bit like you need a little bit naked you need a couple of hours in the sun get your skin feeling nice and because your skin does feel different when it's had a bit of sun. Yeah just just from the winter that first bit of sun. I feel a bit exposed if I've, you know, straight away, you know, I just feel in a few days of my garden on my own. Yeah. On my own, that's a good one.

On my own, I'm a day. There you go, so what I want for Mother's Day is I want you all to bugger off so I can have some time in the garden and get some sun. I can do that, though. I can be at home on my own. I enjoy my time alone. Yeah. Whether it's in the car, whether it's at home,

at work, in my room on my own, whatever it is. I do, I really, really enjoy that time, whereas Mitch hates being. in the house on his own. He can't, he actually can't be in, if he's in his house, in the house on his own, he leaves, goes and finds something to do. Yeah. Because he, you just can't deal with the silence, I suppose, because our house is obviously a very busy loud house. Very busy loud house. Whereas I really appreciate it. Yeah. No, I'm the same. And I actually realize how little time I have by myself. If I, normally, it's like, oh, I need to go get my hair done or, you know, and then you go and you're doing something. But actually just to be, to do

My house, with nobody else here, is rare. Like, I had a little bit of time yesterday, but that was probably purely because Liam went to football training, and then the boys were in bed. So it was like, kind of, and it was like an hour. But that was nice. Then I've watched my own TV show. But in the day, I'd like to have the house to myself in the day.

It is, it is. That's what I mean. So it's nice to have. Well, yeah, I was just about to say that. So I like cleaning by myself. I do get quite a lot of moments in the house where I'm on my own, but I end up just tidying up. Yeah.

So I do appreciate more of the times when, I either don't have to or I completely ignore it, you know what I mean, and have that time for me, whether it's just sitting there and just sitting and not doing anything or, I don't know, listening to something or watching something or reading something or whatever it is, you know, like for you. I'd like to have the house to myself to clean so I can run around and get it all done. But then I'd also like to be in my house and not have to do anything and choose something that you want to do for you in your own home kind of thing rather than, you know, ticking off the jobs because you've got that time. Because we do, we all

end up fall into it, don't we? Yeah, because, like, say, wake up, and it's normally because one of the boys has woke us up, so then, like, you're up, I don't have time to myself in the mornings, we're up with the boys, then it's school, and then it's work, and then obviously, come in from work, and then it's straight with the boys again until they go to bed. Yeah, and then Liam's around. Yeah, you go straight from work, come indoors, and then it's, like, straight to, like, mum mode, and then there's loads of things to do, and then you get into the dinner,

and then the bath, and then it's, like, before you know it, the evening's gone, and you've not even actually had 10 minutes to yourself. And we're lucky. We've actually got the men at home with us, most what I have. Yeah, Liam's doing all the childcare. Even if we don't see each other. Yeah. We're in different parts of the house, doing our own little bits and vobbs, you know.

Yeah. In that respect, we're lucky. But you're still, it's just always feels like it's not. Yeah. Like I say, I think it's the mental load, but also like, yeah, just needing that little bit of piece of quiet. And I saw someone say, like, after they finish work, they have like 10, 15 minutes before going.

Go into, yeah. I mean, she had a, I think she had a nanny looking after her kids in the house. She works from home. And she was like, rather than like finish and then walking straight and get the kids, she's like, I do have 10, 15 minutes in between just to have that like decompressed

to go from like, whoa, whoa, whoa, well, work to then. That is, that's a good idea. Yeah. It does feel like we'd just go from that. Yeah. And don't really take that moment. So exactly. That's what I do.

I was closing like to go. So. Yeah. Or when I walk back in and then, obviously Kaysen's not seen me all day and he's been home for a couple of hours and it's like mom this mom look mom look at mom look at mom look at it's like whoa and you want to be enthusiastic obviously it's so interesting for them it's interesting for you know you want it to take it in but when you've just it's hard when you've gone from yeah yeah without taking that

moment I don't do that so yeah especially this week I've done a lot of training so I've been talking a lot um so yeah it's like just having that little bit of peace 10 minutes but I thought that was a good idea I was like yeah I need to implement Yeah, that is a good idea, actually. I suppose I'd do it on the drive home. I suppose that's in a way. That helps. Yeah.

Sometimes actually just driving silence. Yeah. You know, just to... Yeah, I used to love driving. I never used to bother me driving. And I do, like, quite a lot of driving in a day. And I enjoyed it. Like, yeah, waking up on the way there.

Yeah. And then, like, yeah, having a bit of a time to sell. So driving is a good. But now my office is like... Yeah, you don't get that. Right outside of my front door. Yeah. So I...

I suppose without knowing it, do it then but you know if you don't do that it is it you don't have a commute or a drive then yeah maybe if you're working from home or home office 10 minutes before you for crossing over to do your other job but um no that's good but yeah you're lucky like you say we're lucky that um we've got the guys around and yeah we can share the load yeah although i did hear something the other day and it was you know how people say oh it's 50 50 in relationships Fifty-fifty. In relationship.

Fiancé, sort of Destiny's Child song. Yeah, like it's 50-50. And then I used to think, yeah, it's 50-50. And I'm like, I don't agree with that now. It depends on the situation. That's what percentage you need to support. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would agree with that with what you're going on.

Yeah. But if, you know, generally, yeah, your relationship is 50-50, say. I say on average overall. Yeah. But there need to be give and take. Yeah, sometimes... But day to day, it's not 50. I can't give that full 50.

Yeah. And Mitch might need to chip in a little bit more. Yeah. Or the other way around. For sure, yeah. I can't really think of an example, but that's the way I would probably... Well, yeah, like if you've had a really shit night's sleep or been up with a baby or whatever or you're not feeling great. And then it's like, yeah, I don't have the same level of energy and enthusiasm and ability that I had yesterday.

So, yeah, you need to kind of fill the gap. And whether you need to say it or they just know and they do it or we do it or we do it I was going to say it's not really a conversation I've ever had with Liam no I haven't but I think like you say you just know you just can pick up on it can you yeah although I did see

this business woman her and her partner now she said she's never done it in any other relationships she's had but it's been a game changer with the guy that she's with now is they have like a board or piece paper or whatever and every morning they write one to ten how they're feeling so nine's great three is i'm fine right i think you mean like nine

things of feelings i'm no no literally out of ten how are you feeling today am i good am i feeling upbeat am i like ready to tackle the day am i really not feeling it emotional or struggling or whatever and then they know because it's actually visibly in front of them how the other one's feeling so that they can you know i'll bring you that coffee or you know i'll sort dinner out or you know you have a bit of time after work or whatever and then you can they don't have to have the conversation it's physically written in numbers

well I think I don't think that's a step too far yeah I think I think which just knows from the way I am yeah I don't think I'm either like this I'm even like so you don't do five I do two or I do eight expression or emotion or other

yeah I'm more of a firm of a walk or a slam of a door no we do yeah no I don't think it's necessary discussion you just kind of pick each other up on each other's yeah i think that's a healthy relationship because like you say if you're only going 50 and the other person don't have it then that can cause you know arguments or things like

that because it's like well this is how we normally are or you know i do this for you and you're not doing that for me and it's like yeah but i just i can't today yeah or i can't this week or whatever um and yeah having that understanding and then that patience to to be able to fill each other's Yeah, I think that's, that's, that's, well, I think that's what makes relationship work, really, in the end of it, because, because you know what each other needs, you know, you can bounce off each other in different times and, you know, when you both, you just do what you want in a way, you know, but, but, yeah, and like I say, I think when it swings one way or the other for too long, that then can also cause an argument. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because if I'm always picking up the slack and you're not meeting me or giving me time back or, you know, you know, not even time, but, like, helping me back, then, yeah, overall, it's a 50-50, but, yeah, day-to-day, that 50-50 can fluctuate. Yeah.

And sometimes get it wrong, you know, like, where you say, oh, well, we don't have a discussion, but sometimes I get it wrong in the fact that he might have thought I was, you know, sensitive that day or whatever, so he kept his distance in a way and thought, right, I'm just, gives you space. Yeah, and actual fact I felt like, what's wrong with you? Why are you not talking to me kind of thing, you know? but it could have just been one slight word or something I did and he thought,

okay, I'm just going to leave it to it today. And then I'm like, where are you? I need you back. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so sometimes as well again. Yeah, I think saying it, I think, you know, as I've got older and obviously been in a relationship longer,

I think I'm better now at talking about it, whereas I never would talk when I was younger. I am. If anything bothered me, if anything upset me, I'd just bottle it, bottle it, bottle it. Yeah. And then, Lim would be like, what is wrong with it? I have no understanding of what's going on right now.

And even then would you go nothing, I'm fine. Yeah, nothing. Yeah, nothing. Nothing. Nothing, I'm fine. Yeah, but it wouldn't be fine and it would be bothering me. And actually, if it is something that he's done, then it's like, well, it's not bothering him because he doesn't know what he's done. It's me that's like carrying it.

So, yeah, I've definitely got better at just saying that's annoyed me. And then it's so much easier to get over it as well. When you bottle it up, even when you then finally say it, it's like you've carried it for so long. It's hard to just get rid and feel. forget about it. I'm not so good at probably saying it in the moment because I'd probably get so thingy about it and it probably won't come out the best way. Yeah. Which then probably cause

a debate, say. Do you know what I mean? It's knowing and for me when to pick to maybe say it because and how to say it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the other way around, I think you know. One thing I used to do until I got a bit better at saying it and like I said I wouldn't say I'm the best at saying it either. Not that

it'd come out wrong because I think I can explain myself but I'm just not very good at talking when I'm like something's bothering me like I just close up so I normally write a text so that's a good way yeah because then you can get it all out you can say exactly what you need to say so sometimes it helps obviously if something's happened and then you have to go to work or you have to go to school or whatever it is and then you're apart anyway and then I realized that actually I'm much better just writing it down and getting it off my chest yeah sometimes if it's not that big of a thing

then it's easier to say it but if it's something a bit more maybe emotional So write it down for them to read or for you. I just text it. Are you text? See, I wouldn't do that. Mitch wouldn't read it right. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

I couldn't, it would get read the complete wrong way. Yeah. But there's nothing worse that annoys me more than anything. When you ask someone, are you okay? And they say, no, no, I'm fine. Yeah. And then they're acting like they're not fine. So it makes you want to keep asking.

But then. Are you okay? And then the answer back is, well, it was fine. But you keep asking me if I'm fine. And I've told you I'm fine. And then you keep asking me, it's annoying me. So no, no, I'm just talk. And I can get that too.

But initially, you look like you've got the ump. So I'm asking what's wrong? And it would really annoy me. Like if I was saying to Liam, are you okay and he's going, I'm fine. And he's not, it would really annoy me.

But I had that habit. And you're clearly not fine. I had that habit so bad when I was younger. Like, yeah, I just wouldn't say it. Close up. And then I'm fine. And then you'd text and then he would then approach you, say, with that situation. Yeah, we'd maybe like air it a little bit.

Over that. And then, like, obviously then you feel a bit. more thing and then you just get over it um but it'd take me a while but i'd probably be days it depends on what kind of thing it was but sometimes yeah i'm fine with and i'd be funny for ages until i think but now i just go straight to saying it yeah saying it or writing it but no if you if you struggle in the moment to either say things how it needs to be said and it not come out like angry or not the right words or anything or if you just can't say it yeah then, yeah, write down. That's a good tip.

Yeah, it is a good tip. That is a good tip. I think it just depends on me in the week or the day or whatever it is. Sometimes I'll just blot it out. Sometimes I'll just get over it. It wasn't even that anything. It was just my own little thing in my head. Yeah, sometimes you know when it's you. Yeah, sometimes you know when it actually it needs to be said. Or, yeah. Yeah, but at the end of the day, we'll always discuss it to kind of close it.

Yeah. Or just make a cup of tea and make a joke of something and laugh. Do you know what I mean? and then we know right because it was something stupid anyway, do you know what I mean? Sometimes. It was our own things

that it wasn't actually the thing. It wasn't that. It was just we're both busy today and I'm stressed and overwhelmed and then that thing just let it all out because you always do with your closest

don't you suppose but we don't do it often so it's trying to remember how we, you know. Like I say things don't come up that often for us now anymore especially like say after so much time but yeah if like even if it's not something between the two of you

but if it's how you're feeling with something else with like something going on at work or something going on with friends or health stuff or whatever is going on then yeah sometimes it's hard to bring up that conversation or say it or how to say it like you say how to say it rather than it might be easier to write yeah yeah exactly

especially like if you go through like any kind of loss it's hard to like vocalise that sometimes and like especially a bloke and a woman you deal with things differently so sometimes something like that would be a good way to just write it. I know therapists even say like write a letter or write things down. A lot of, I didn't realize, I didn't realize that, but I just found that if I'd left

and gone somewhere and I was texting, they're like, actually, it gets things sorted a lot quicker and easier. Right. A lot of it is writing down of things that can help, you know, therapy, therapy wires, of pros, cons, of, you know, garbage bins, people, right, don't they? And things like that to get it out of their head onto a paper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, that kind of thing.

They do it before bed, don't you? Have you sleep better if you get everything out and write up. I'm quite, I didn't realize, but I'm a list and it helps. But it has to be pen and paper. I'm not as good on the time. Yeah, now I'm better writing it down. Because sometimes if you do go to bed and you're like, right, so on Thursday, oh, well, I've got to do this and then like, then you can't sleep. You've got these million things going on and it does make.

Write it down. Yeah. I probably couldn't have to get out of bed to get the package. Or they say leave it on the bedside table and then if you are getting into that thing and thinking too much before bed, then you can write it all down. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, cool. So to end this episode.

I saw something else go and it's like a scenario that I thought well this is definitely worth talking about so not really a game but a discussion on this particular scenario what do you think so I'm going to say his name completely wrong

some rapper he's on one of these hip-hop shows you know reality shows that I watch whacka flacker I don't know Maca-Baka but now I keep saying that He said it in the night garden. But no, wacker-blocker or wacker flacker, whatever his name is.

A very well-known rapper on something. Yeah, I just don't know. Yeah. It came up on my phone. He was having an interview with a lady or a discussion with a lady. And she said, so let's say you're on a boat, middle of the ocean. Your wife and your infant child falls overboard. Who are you saving?

And pretty instantly, he was like, my wife. wife and I was like oh that makes me feel a bit funny okay that's not the kind of normal no thought process just my wife yeah he well I think he was kind of not how we would be like yeah it wasn't that much of an

internal debate it was pretty quickly he said his wife and then did he have a reason um I mean kind of along the lines of the kids wouldn't exist if it wasn't for my wife and obviously like she's kind of like my main perfect kind of thing and

I don't know if he said it like this I'd have to probably re-watch it because it was quite quick but along the lines of you can have more kids he probably didn't say it like that I don't want to put that out there but basically he's picking his wife over his infant child wow okay so if I was the wife

and had been saved then my child had just drowned my question would be where the fuck the child so you would be mad why didn't save the child you would be mad that he didn't save the child Well, saving mad, you know, that feeling of why wouldn't you save the child? But at the same time, he's just saved your life.

Yeah. You know what I mean? So it's not really much you could say. But I'm sure in my head, I'd think, why didn't you grab the child, you know? I mean, logic, go on. I'll say, just, they do say, well, me and Mitch are very much like this. So we're a team. Yeah.

Me and Mitch are the team. And we, you know, it's quite known to the kids that, you know, we're first. Yeah. And then the children. I don't know how far I'd go as if I'm drowning, like, but I think that's important to, that we're the team first. I have heard that, that you should prioritise your partner because kids obviously grow up, they have friends, they move out, da-da-da, you know, family is family, friends move on, whatever,

and it's only your partner that you're going to end up with. We're our kids' biggest support, as we always will be. However, in the things it goes, it's we and then us. Yeah. And I did see a thing that was explaining to the kids Because a lot of people The kids talk to them and they're in the middle of a conversation with their partner They jump straight to answer the kids

And that actually, no, you need to learn that this is an important relationship And obviously we're in the middle of it So let me finish and then I'll speak to you next And it's just showing them respect to the person that they're with Yeah, yeah, no, I totally get that like yeah You and your partner is the team And yeah, the kids wouldn't exist without you as a team So you can't put everything into your kids because then your relationship fails.

So, yeah, I get that bit. It's a hard question to answer, to be fair. But, I mean, logically to me, if you have a young child and the wife falls over and the young child falls over, the wife can try and save herself. Well, presuming so. And the child can't save themselves if they can't swim. So my logic would be try and save the child while I try to save myself and then maybe come back for me. But I understand his answer. Yeah, it's just weird, though, because I would imagine 99% of people would say, you save the child.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I don't know why it is, but generally, like, obviously, children losing their lives is a lot sadder than adults and older people losing their lives because they're so young and they had so much to live for and those kind of things, which I agree with. But, yeah. Yeah, you got pick in that moment, and he picked. I would want Liam to save the children first. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah. I think then the mum's alive and the child's not.

Yeah. So, I mean, obviously, does I mean? How would you feel? I don't know. But yeah, that's nice on him to the wife. But I think it comes down to the point of you're the team, aren't you? You're the reason why, you know, you have this family anyway, is you too, you know, start somewhere. Yeah.

and create and build this, this thing. Yeah, I don't really want to go on a boat now. So then Mitch doesn't actually have to make that decision. Watch I get home and we're like, should we go on a cruise? What? Yeah. No, I think. He'd save the children.

Don't you worry. Yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty sure most people would agree. Well, that was a big storyline in Holyoaks. back when I used to watch soaps. I had more soaps in age as now. Oh, we did used to have it all set out. We did, yeah.

Yeah, Hollywood's I did watch a lot longer than the rest, but then they just got, like, say, too many new people and too, like, out of their storylines, and I just got bored of soaps anyway. But, yeah, it was a woman. I think their car had broke down in the tunnel, or it was in a crash, or basically she had, something had happened, and she had, I think they were twins,

but they were like 14, 15, a boy and a girl she had a split second moment to grab one of them out of the car before something hit the car or it went or something split second

no thought behind it just grab and like obviously you can only grab one so she did both survived but then the son because she grabbed the daughter

I think the son was like you picked her over me oh my god oh my then like I say I wouldn't want to ever be I'm going to have assessed at home and making decisions in case they're going to come back with me.

Which, well, I'd change every day while I'll save you today. Yeah, I know. Yeah, that's true. It would change every day, yeah. No, that would be worse. To be in a situation where you have to pick one kid over the other, I think. And then for him to come back and say, or that's common. Yeah, I think they, yeah, I think that was a long storyline.

Like, he had to go through a lot of thing to get over, but she made that decision. Well, I used to say that, um, that they love my brother more because there was more pictures of him and my nana-grandda's house. I used to count how many pictures were up and he definitely had more pictures up than me. So I used to say, yeah, you definitely love him more than me. It's just that he's older, there's more pictures of him, isn't there?

Or maybe he's achieved more that they've got a professional photo taken on, you know what I mean? It's funny, though, how you think, isn't it as a kid? Yeah, and say everyone would say I'm the golden child. But then... I would say that about my brother as well. That's exactly what I call him, golden boy. I think he deserves it yeah I think for me it's that I was the first

child the first grandchild so it's easy to say that yeah I can't go anywhere I left school I had children I know I know but now now I'm all right but no it would be hard to pick between your kids I would never ever want to be a politician at all

or that I think even that the other way around kids and and your part yeah like I say I wouldn't ever I wouldn't want to pick between no same of Liam or the kids either No, I mean, no, I'm not going to answer that.

It's good or not. It's a hard decision. Because I think first off, I'd go to my kids. I think everyone naturally would because I think, I don't know if it's an instinct thing, especially for a mum, like, not the same that dads don't have the same connection, but it's a different type of connection. Like, and obviously they're smaller, so they're more unable to help themselves, whereas I think whatever situation you're in, I would like to think that there's a certain level that Liam can do to help them save themselves. and the kids are not going to be able to do that so if I can maybe save them then he can save himself and then we're all saved. I'm with you because you're strong and you're pendant

and you can't even get out of this situation. Yeah, no, that's a horrible thing to think about. Yeah, it makes you think though. It does make good things like that. Well, it shocked me his answer because I thought surely everyone says kids but clearly not everybody thinks kids. Yeah, but it also shows how important

that why we have these children, you know, because of the base is that. And I agree with that. I think, you know, you should. prioritise your relationship because the happy you two are and the better relationship you to have is better for the kids anyway. I think it's a good example as well as you are a team and the five of us in our case of a team but it starts with two of us, you know?

For sure. Yeah, definitely. I wonder what everybody else thinks. Do you agree with waka, flukker? Yeah, would you, would you, who would you say? Would you save anyone and just be it in the house on your own forever? Yeah, do you know what? I'd enough of you lot.

I want the house back to myself. You never know. Well, that's the end of another episode. Yeah, not to think about. Not to think about. I just don't want to think about that kind of thing, to be honest. No. That freaks me out when I think about it.

Well, yeah. Too long. Yeah. You found it. I know. That's sort of shocked to me. And I was like, oh, I don't want to think about this. But yeah.

Let's move on to Brighter Things. Yeah. It's nice as spring outside. On that note. Yeah. Happy spring. Time, everyone. And we'll see you next.

week. Bye. Bye.