The Rising’s Growing Together Podcast - Should You Share Your Phone Code With Your Partner?

Episode Date: July 28, 2025

Billie and Charlotte discuss a very important topic in relationships: Should partners share their phone codes? They dive into the importance of trust and communication, inviting viewers to reflect on boundaries in their relationships. Listen to their relationship advice and share your opinion in the comments! You’ll also hear about family milestones, unexpected phobias, and how friendships shift as life changes. If you’ve ever questioned trust in a relationship or struggled with friendship dynamics, this episode will feel like a heart‑to‑heart with your best friends. We’d love to know: Would YOU share your passcode with your partner? Why or why not? Drop your thoughts in the comments 👇🔔 New episode every week Subscribe now so you never miss one!📲 Follow & DM us on Instagram → @therising1111#trustinrelationships #phoneprivacy #womensupportingwomen #realtalkpodcast

Welcome back to another week of The Rising's growing together with me, Billy. And me, Charlotte. So, it's been a wet one. We finally had some rain. That's cool. I've been complaining so much about the heat and it's like storm. It was a bit like, because there was a warning, which I was a bit like, why is there a warning? It was blue skies, sweltering hot.

I was like, we're just not going to be lucky enough to get this right. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. And all of a sudden, yeah. So basically, during the night, we've had some huge storm, rainfall. Yeah, because it didn't kick off till night time. Yeah, it was literally during the night, wasn't it?

So, yeah, it was at one point, I actually woke up, I was like, oh, I think the electric's gone off, because obviously the fan had gone or the air cold, anywhere, anything that's keeping us cool, do you know what I mean? But it's still hot. So although we have this storm, it is still 28, 29 degrees. Although this morning does feel a little bit cooler, which is what storms normally do. Well, yeah, the sun's come out, as if you look at the sky, but yeah, you would never have, I said that to case in the one,

was like, you would never have known there was probably the biggest storm I've ever seen since living here last night. It was actually proper like, I've got to do the noise. I started that sentence and then I realised I've got to do a noise for it. It was like, it was probably like, phew, like really like down.

I was like, like to the point like it, like echoed. Yeah, I did feel like the house vibrated a bit. But yeah, Liam even woke me up about, must have been about one o'clock and he had the camera to our garden on his phone and the sky was flashing. Like constant Well I'm at kind of

At sort of at the bottom of a hill So literally Oh the rainfall Because I didn't realise how much rain it was My pool is actually black No Black Oh because I guess it brings all the

Everything but also mid Oh yeah Going on to my recap week Mid Digging up the Garden Because I had a really good idea On Sunday to be like Oh

Should we do this and this Which is a good idea Should we start now no like thought of it and literally just started doing stuff so there was a lot of soil because we kind of dug up stones to kind of do you know what I mean

do it in a different way and yeah so and plus we're on the bottom of the hill so everything has just been flushed down it looked like part of it as well you'd just got two bags of stones and tipped them into the into an area

where it had been flushed into so that was fun to wake up too and yeah but nothing oh yeah there is a bit in my house I was going to say there was nothing in my house because you know what it's like a bit over here? You're kind of like, where it's leaking? You know what I mean?

Where's dripping out? Especially ours. We built ourselves. Well, well done, if you haven't. Took us a few years to get to the point where there's no leaks. I went on to my rug and literally I was like, do, do, do you know, because we had to let the dog in. Yeah. I thought he'd, you know, done something on the carpet and then I realized it's come somewhere through my, not even my fireplace.

It's like even the ceiling of the, do you know what I mean? It's like it's obviously flooded and just got through. some ceiling somewhere. Oh, that's annoying. We had it all coming through our front door. I hate our front door. We need a new front door because Spanish doors don't have the bottom bit

and it's just weird. Like, where's the threshold for it to seal shut? There's a gap underneath the doors. Wind, dust, rain, like. Yeah. So, yeah, we got it all through and so it's wrecked like the floor in which, to be honest, I want to redo all the floor in the house anyway.

bill. But yeah, I wasn't hoping I'm not doing it now, but yeah. Yeah, that's nice to have a storm, it's cooled things down. So hopefully it stays. I did look for the rest of the week it's meant to be like 29 degrees, which anything around 30, fine. Yeah, I mean, we need rain, but that was

crazy. It always comes so much at once, that's the trouble for Spain. I did say, that's why there was a warning. Yeah, that's why the warning was, yeah. And then, what else have I done? Oh, and Morgan has obviously been accepted to the second country school that he requested, so he had to go finish all the paperwork and try on his

uniform and get all that kind of thing. Yeah, because he's going to have a uniform because most schools in Spain don't. He's a bit gutted because there's no short option. Really? Morgan doesn't even, I don't think he even owns a pair of trousers. I'll say he's always in shorts and t-shirt. I don't actually, he may own a track suit, but I don't think he'd ever wear the trousers of it. Jumper, maybe, yeah? Um, so that's, that was a bit like, um, but I think he'll get used to it. There's air con in every room. You know, he'll be fine but yeah that was a good day nice day then i had to go and see well help my mom and dad at the doctors like translating and whatever and i had the shock of my life i think i've

spoke about it before anyway about how i am with cockroaches i can't even say it about fucking being stupid but anyway um so yeah basically i had a scene where a scene it was a scene because literally i was probably in the most spanish doctors bearing in mind i think if it was up our way it's a lot more foreign you know so they are foreign to us you know in a way so I think if when I ran they would have everyone ran with me

whereas at this doctors at the Spanish everyone's like what are you moaning at and I ran and I cried and I was sweating and I was shaking and I was crying like sobbing crying oh it's making me go funny and then you're checking there's no

I know I know and then the thing is you know it was even worse is that My mum was like, oh yeah, the Spanish man just came down, picked the, throughout the front door. I was like, oh my God. So at one point my mum went, because I was obviously still hyperventilating. Not like that, but I was. Close.

Yeah, nearly I was very, very close. It was more the whole body was sweating, you know, when your whole body just comes out. That adrenaline, isn't it? That panic. My mom was like, just take her outside for a minute to get to fresh air. I'm going out there, that's where he's through it. She was like, I'll go to the other end then.

Yeah, and I have actually realized how bad I, I mean, I've always, I've never been comfortable with them. No, but I have never got like this. I mean, this is quite calm actually, I think I've just. I was going to say, we spoke about it once or twice before and you've literally got like eyes watering and everything. It's not a nice, this feeling. The fact that you can't even talk about it is like another level of like scared.

And people have got other, literally look at me. It's why I've got something on me. So when you start talking like nits and they start itching your hair. But people have got other phobias like, okay, I know it sounds really that's quite, that's quite a. That's quite an understandable one to have. Yeah. I mean, and it is a phobia. There's a scared, exactly, so Wast.

Rick's got a phobia. I know someone who's scared of bananas. Okay. Generally, phobia of bananas, that actual, like I am a bit. Do you get what I mean? So, although that's like, how could you be scared of a banana? Yeah. It just shows me, look, there's not even nothing here.

Yeah. And I'm getting the way I'm getting, it's kind, I get it. it's one thing I get it if you've got a phobia like in the moment but like the fact that like it bothers you that much to even talk about it like that's that's another level that's what's made me that's what's made me realize I think more yeah now because you were never this bad years ago it like you say never been comfortable I never liked it I think we spoke about this as well like it it's all right seeing things like that but if you don't for me I have to see it dead and gone and yeah do you know what I mean

so if he just got picked it up and throw it out it's just somewhere outside drop my But that happened to me this morning, obviously because of the storm, I think it just kind of brings them all up, because touch wood, we don't actually get many in our house. And if they ever do turn up one, maybe every couple of months, it's already dead. Because I put that stuff in the mop thing when I mop the floor. That's a good idea.

Yeah. Have you not seen that? No. Liam told me. It's because I don't really get them. I don't get them at home. That's the thing. I don't actually get them.

I feel like I don't want to talk about it because they're going to all turn up tonight. Touch some blooming wood, Charlotte. Yeah, there's the stuff you can buy at Mercadonna and you put it in like your mop stuff, it smells nice but it's like got insecticide or whatever it's called in it and it kills them. So actually any time I've ever seen them, they're already dead. Yeah, which is, you just get them out of the way.

But this morning, however, this morning, however, straight after the storm, I've opened the drawer to get a spoon out to give Kayson his breakfast and one's ran across like the inside of the drawer But luckily I'm right by the sink where I keep the spray So I sprayed it and it got stuck in the knives and forks So I've sprayed it and killed it so like I say It didn't disappear I'd kill it being your morning event yeah

So then I've just had to spend all morning like really scrubbing Not just for the spray but also like the thought of how long you've been in the drawer Well again I think it is it's the storm But I don't get them in the house So I know that at night time they're around the pool area down there by the pool area I don't need to go in the pool at night I don't know don't get the point of the day

but I don't need to go in that area at night don't get me wrong sometimes I've started going into my garden to like do bits at night you know because it's cooler and you can actually do something don't even go shout out don't even go you know it's going to happen something's going to happen to you don't even do it my sister's got a really bad phobia of wasps and to the point that once actually

she worked for EasyJet and obviously they're on the plane people are getting on the plane and she saw one come in she ran out of the plane and ran down the stairs you can that's like a formal warning like you can get fired for stuff like that but like you say when it comes no um she we would be like sat having dinner and if one comes she jumps up screaming doesn't matter where we are but like screaming to be fair though you might want to try this she got hypnotised um and now like she'll just kind of you know get up and move and like it panics her but not she's not screaming

throwing things to the point she even said like before I had Kays said like what if I'm holding him and one comes up I don't even know if I trust myself to like drop the baby that's how like scary it's that uncontrollable feeling of like just everything goes out of the window like I'm gone that kind of feeling like you say that I could potentially drop your child well like say she's so much better now I think imagine I got hypnotised and I come in to you like Bug lady You should try it

Try it, get in hypnotised It bothers you that much To the point you get yourself an estate Then getting back to how it was Where you don't like them But you don't get yourself an estate It will help you I think I've said before

You know like when you're watching I'm a celebrity or whatever I can do that I think she just looks to me like No you fucking couldn't You could do anything But most of it is the bugs and the cockroaches That's the most

That is not not a chance I think I could ever push myself to do any of that stuff in there yeah no could never do any of that and it's not just that yeah

exactly it's that I'd be literally I wouldn't sleep I'd literally have a breakdown you'd run away from the camp and you'd end up in the middle of the jungle for something bigger and worse to deal with you know what I mean

but it's fine because there's cockroaches over there oh god and my other sister's terrified of snakes oh really which again they're all valid phobias to have but they're the another level of like I don't like, like, wasps, I'll hit them away.

Yeah. But, and I don't really like snakes. I'm not really like that. I'm a bit more like that. But yeah, I'm not like... And like snakes don't want to get one near me. Would want to touch one. Yeah.

I'd hold one in a zoo. But like, she would freak out. Yeah. So, yeah. It's, they're genuine reasons of things that you don't want to like. But take, yeah, maybe, maybe hypnotize yourself. Yeah, I've just... Not yourself.

Go and get hypnotized. Hey, so, topic of the day. Oh, hit move. So last week we done kind of a business-related topic today. Yes, I hope everyone's clearer on, not just in our friendship group girls, but on general, general here,

on the fact of general Billy's day job and her side thing that's going to become her new. Yeah, that was good. That cleared a few things up for you. For me too. What I want to talk about today is something that came up and I want to get your opinion on it. This is more kind of relationship-friendship stuff.

So, So, in a relationship, should your partner have the code to your phone? Oh, well, now, take my phone. I don't want it. But I think when I was younger, no, that's my phone. Why do you need to have the code? Don't even look at my phone. Like, back when I was younger, barely my...

Okay, so this is a bit different for me and you, to be fair, because we've been in relationships for 20 years. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? So it's a bit different. Yeah. But my experience, generally, when I was younger, no, by the way, there was no real reason, maybe at some point, there was no real reason why, you know, they shouldn't have had my code.

So it's more just like a, it was actually more of like a control, like, it's my phone. Yeah, it's my phone. I mean, don't get me wrong, I probably would have asked for his and if he said no, go, why? You know what I mean? But no, no, you're not having a line. It's not a two-way street. I will have yours and you won't have mine. Yeah, really, literally like that.

but more now well obviously it's 20 years on for a start so it's a bit different even though some people are still in relationships and that like that some people are in the relationships I think we said this before even with money and you know it's still my money

your money half on bills or dinners or whatever it is but we're all literally one in a part and that's it yeah I mean and the same for the phones I actually think Liam's had experience with us before going through emails or passwords for things because of different phone breakages and things he's at to obviously help us sort out.

And between me and Mitch, we're like, oh, no, you've got mine. No, I've got yours. Literally, we have no idea. You cannot access each other's phone, but you basically forget the passwords. So, yeah. So you don't mind, but you still can do it. No, so, but it's a little, so going on, going on, well, what about you? What do you think?

So, even since the beginning, even since younger, like, yeah, if you want access, you can, you can have a look like I say, nothing to hide, and for me, I wouldn't have been able to be like, well, I want yours, but you can't have mine. That was just probably me all over. Yeah, that's just you all over. Whereas I'm a bit like, if I expect to have yours and, you know, you should have mine too. Um, so I've never, I think I did snoop a bit when I was, when I was younger. Like not, not a lot. Just every now and then, you know, a little snoop check things. Um, but yeah, no, I think, I think, I don't know, it's hard because it's like, I feel like you should trust.

your partner enough to go, yeah, have it. But then you, there wasn't any real reason for me back there. You should also trust each other enough to not have to snoop. Yeah, exactly. So it's a hard thing to, to like, I'm not, not that we, I've got an opinion on it. Do you get, what the reason? I haven't got opinion on it. In my relationship, it's open.

And like you say, there shouldn't be any real reason. But at the sign time, what would you need it for anyway? Like, if Mitch was like, started snooping in your phone, would you feel offended? Well, does, I don't, I don't know, get it. That's what I mean, like, you're open to, yeah, have the code. But if he started to actually start snooping, like, yeah, the trust is there, you can have the code, you can get into each other's phones, that's great. But I think there's one thing to be like, we're open, have, you can get into it. It would make me question, but if you actually had your partner start snooping.

What do you expect to find? Yeah. That would probably be my question. Yeah. Why do you feel the need to... And then really, you only need the phone code if you are going to snoop. Yeah, yeah, exactly. The only time I would make...

Get Mitchie's phone to go on it is, one, we've got to find them because we never know where they are in that. Where's your phone? I don't know. It's a bit like that. If I haven't got mine is to use it to look at something because I need to go on something. And every time I go to go and do something, I haven't got my phone. I don't know where it is.

Lexi on TikTok. Exactly, so can I have yours for a minute? Or, I don't know, I'd go over photos probably because... Yeah, Liam's got into a habit of stop sending me nice photos because he's like, you post everything and I'm like, well, actually... Well, I don't do anything. You don't post nothing. I just like to see it.

I used to, because I like to have it saved. But the last six months I've really stopped posting. I haven't posted our big holiday in February. I haven't really posted much for, like, birthdays and... and stuff. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, Liam's on mine quite a lot for all the social media stuff, more so than he ever has been. But yeah, we've always had it open, but... But like you say, if you then...

Never snooped. For some reason, see them on WhatsApp, say, let's just say WhatsApp, messages going through, it would make me like, oh, what do you want? Do you get what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. What do you want to... Yeah. You know?

Yeah. So I think that you... you should have the code to your partner's phone. I don't think you should sit and snoop on their phone regularly. No. The odd snoop maybe, but... I think he's just knowing because it's knowing. Well, I think if you know you have the code and you could look, then that kind of almost is good enough.

Yeah, I suppose so. I suppose so, yeah. I don't really want my phone so you can have it. But in that circumstance of knowing it, I suppose if I didn't know it, his code, It would make me probably feel a bit different. It's only because I do, maybe. I'm like, I personally don't agree with your partner not having the code. Like, there's obviously going to be relationships out there

that they don't have the code to each other's phone. I don't agree with that. Especially in, obviously, long-term relationships. You know what I'm saying? Again, we're talking on we've been in a relationship for a long, long time. There's people who just got within a relationship or even, as I say, half a year in maybe. And I don't know.

Do you get what I mean? I wouldn't put someone like that. I'd say you need to be at a semi-serie. Yes, to get what I'm saying. If you're just dating or you've just become official, then, yeah, like, you're only, you're still getting to know each other. Or even so you could just trust, literally, you could feel that trust. I mean, again, it's hard to know because I haven't experienced it.

Really got to see, you know, for me and Mitch, but like, you know that, of that feeling of just trusting a person with no question after a very short amount of time. Do you get what I'm saying? So it could be that, you need to prove your trust. I've had a relationship of a friend for, this isn't me, by the way. I'm just saying I've had a relationship, someone could have had a relationship with a friend for 20 years and still feel more trust in a partner relationship or even a friendship relationship in a shorter amount of time than that.

Do you get what I'm trying to say? I suppose they say, oh come on Bill, you're good with quotes, what's this, like, you know, it's not always the length, it's the quality. Yeah, it's not quantity, it's quality. Do you get what I mean? You could have known someone for 20 years, the one, the friendship that you've had for two years is a lot, there's a lot more depth and trust and... And I actually know someone who dated someone seriously

for a couple of years, I think it was, and then found out they had a whole other relationship. What? Yeah. Well, you hear about blokes all the time. We've got two families. And it's like, God, I can barely keep up with one. So, yeah, like, I think you have to prove your trust.

I don't think you should hand over your code after a couple of months of knowing someone. And I think you have to build up that, you know, can I trust you? But if you get to a point where you are having really, you know, a serious relationship, then there needs to be more openness. And going on that, I suppose it's also things that happen that you try and, that you've had trust, then something happens and then you, how can you move on from that, to become trustful?

I don't know if that's a word. I don't know if I could do that, to be honest. I think, you know, that it depends on what it is obviously. I was going to say it does depend. Is it a small break of trust? Is it a small white lie? Is it something that you want to get over? But big things, I mean, hats off to people that work through these things. And I do sometimes believe that, you know, someone can make a mistake. And then that proves to them like, yeah, that was so not worth it. I'm never going to do that again. So sometimes people can change. If they've made that mistake more than once, I don't believe that they're willing to change. I think, well, I think going on that, I think, well, I think going on that, I think. think you would be more talking about like cheating side yeah you get what I'm saying yeah but I've been my relationship's been in situations where I've had to question trust before um but on the other side of it I've I've thought that was there any way back first of all yeah um how how do you get past that How do you regain trust?

It's that thing where people like rip up the paper. You can't get that back. Or scrunch it up when you open it back up again. Yeah. Even if you want to, even if you really, really, really, really, really, really want to more than anything, you can't help how you could feel. Do you get what I mean? That's what I mean for me, I think. And even as many actions in the world that could prove to you that, that, you know,

it was a mistake, right? And it could, you know what I mean? And no other mistake would happen ever. Yeah. But what happens of that feeling inside? You can never let it go. You know what I mean? That's why I don't think I could ever come back.

Do you know what I mean? And luckily for us and our relationship, it completely did. It completely. But that was a worry at a time because it was a bit like, okay, as much as we both want this, can you get to a place where it's not affecting you every day? And that wasn't even to do with other people. That was our own thing. Do you know what I mean?

Which I'm sure at the point of a podcast in the future I will talk about. Do you get what I mean? But on a basic thing, yeah, that was a question for me of, you know, like, it's all right. Yeah, everything's all right now, but it's the day to day. How do I stop that feeling? Do you know what I mean? Of that. And for advice for people that were in that situation, what do you think it took?

Like, how did you get through that point? I think because, for us, I think because we knew deep down what we wanted. deep down we knew who we were and what we wanted. So that's the first step you both really want it. Yeah. Yeah. And but again, sometimes that doesn't matter. Yeah. Do you go what I mean in people? Sometimes you just can't help and get over that hurdle of, you know, whatever it is. So what helped you? I suppose, I think when it comes down to it, actions speak louder than words and time. That all combined. There you go. There's a quote for you. There's a quote for you. No, I totally agree. There's so many situations.

with our friends, with, you know, I'm sure loads of people have been in the situations where, you know, they, they hear things and it's like, they just always hear it, but there's no action to back it up. Yeah. And, you know, let people show you their true colours. Yeah. And you have to, it's so easy to say things. You have to put in the effort and the action to back up what it is that you mean, to show that you really mean it. But that's, that's, that's like in, in anything, even a friendship working or a relationship. working, I suppose. More in a relationship of a partner relationship. Yeah, because friends can break your trust as well. Exactly. Exactly. Because, you know, it's all right saying all these things, but again, actions do speak louder than words. I have some occasions for me when I feel like I'm not really making much of an effort, you know, than he would be at some time. And I'm like, right, come on now. Like, it's, you know, you've got to, you've got to put in just as much because that's how it is. And even with friendships, yeah. Our friendship, I think, I suppose, our friendship's been a bit like, I think it's, well, we've never really had any problem.

We've never had any issue. No, we've never fell out, like seriously fell out. I think it helps that there's no pressure. There's no. I think that's probably one of the secrets for why it's lasted so long, through relationships, through children, through time. It's because we don't pressurise each other with, oh, you've not called me for two weeks, so I'm always messaging you. And no expectation in terms of. yeah so much do you know like here it's basic friendship thing of yeah trust you've got my back

yeah things like that you know that kind of thing which is obviously that's who you should every one should have an friend but then on the flip side of that not having expectations or pressure on it but still feeling it's it is two ways yes because if it is no expectation but i'm always the one chasing you to meet up and do anything which then you know that we go through periods of that where you know like one of us has more on than the other yeah so it's riding through those times with no expectations, but still feeling like... Just that in and about checking in sometimes.

You still care about the other person. I'm exactly that. I'm not... I'm definitely not one of them people, or very, very good at it at always keeping, you know, like that contact and communication, if that makes sense. I used to, probably, but I'm not really so much now.

Because my phone probably does my head in, that's probably more than anything. The reason, however, like you say, when different friendships, you know, like you're all busy at different times. It's every now and then you'll get a message off someone of the, you say, of them long-term relationships or just them friendships that are work that are like, you're right, so like, oh God, you know, mad month or, I don't know, mad week or, exactly, yeah, exactly, or whatever. And, and again, there's no pressure, do you know what I mean? It's like, well, it's like me meeting with one of my close friends when we went back on a random that was so lovely.

I do, we don't talk on the regular she's definitely one of the people who will be there for anything important but it's not something as day thing you know but every now and then we get their messages in kids' birthdays you know like mother's days that sort of a thing

you know what I mean of that you know just to let you know I'm here I do love you you know just checking you're all alright kind of thing and even us lot here sometimes when we're not on a reg of meeting up you know I mean, we do have our group chat for a reason of, you know, that sort of thing.

But sometimes I might message just someone out of it and be like, I'm just checking you're okay, just checking in, that's it. Do you know what I mean? And I try as much as I can. Some, actually some, most of you are a lot better than I am. Do you know what I mean? But it does, it does, it is important. Yeah, I think so.

Definitely. And I think one other thing that helps our friendship group is like, say, having that WhatsApp chat and then just having a mute. and understanding with all of us that, you know, we're going to try and meet up, you know, when we can do things, whoever can make it great, but we're not going to always postpone it for everybody because then you see each other twice a year. We can't all always make it and we've kind of understood that that's the truth now. Yeah.

So the reality of that's a little bit and if it's birthdays and stuff, of course, we'll move it for a thing. But if it's just like randomly last minute and going out for dinner here if anyone wants to meet or anyone fancy going, you know, to this place on the weekend. whatever so yeah little things like that where it's not a big deal sometimes no one can do it sometimes some can do it sometimes all can do it that's great but it's the reality of that just where and because as and when no pressure yeah because like I say otherwise it's it's hard to get everyone available at the same time yeah and then you like you say you don't do anything yeah you do have to make the effort

and I it's weird isn't it because going back to that when we were younger I would have gone on your phone straight away you would have gone on my phone straight the other way around you mean but obviously I used to answer your phone as you you did with the Birmingham accent I couldn't even do that now

but yeah back then I used to like have full on conversations with some of our friends and they think that I was you yeah literally but yeah that's the same thing even with friends like yeah

have my phone no kind of secrets especially at that age you know like being teenagers and stuff and also what about what about talking about friendships

What about, I mean, again, it's hard, it's different for us because we've all kind of grew up in this friendship group of the same, I mean, I'm very different anyway. I have my friends and that's it, all right? I don't want any more friends, but most of you are a lot more open, but still, our friendship group has stayed the same friendship group. Couples, boys, but da-da-da-da, girls, da-da, yeah. Yeah, what I mean?

But, so we're all friends, obviously, friends with Liam, some people leave in New Mitch, you know what I mean? well most of people knew Mitch before I was with Mitch you get what I mean so that kind of a thing we've all kind of grew up together and whatever but no one really knew has come in I mean you've made new friends maybe out of the group and I've made new friends out of the group yeah only my real reason is because of obviously the children but generally like that well yeah you have like certain separate mum friends

because our kids go to different schools anyway and then sometimes you make the odd work friend and things so there are friends outside of our friendship group but no one's then come into that but yeah and then going forward With, we, we grew up with a lot more boys. Yeah. Yeah. If that was now, that I would be a bit, like, if Mitch kind of came home and made friends with a 30-year-old odd woman,

I'd be like, no. Why? No. I mean, I don't have much mal, mate. Why would you need a woman, mate? You've got me. And if you ain't got me, you've got my girlfriends, okay? Exactly.

Give me a cold, for a coffee. No. I've said it before. Sorry, before it leaves my head, because, you know, I'm like, even with Mitch before, or not just Mitch and me, you know, we're about like 100% trust and everything, but even certain things like Mitch could be telling me a story of a, just a story of how it happened at work, right? And if he mentions like a girl or a woman, I don't know why, but it's like we, or me mentioning a man, it's like we have to just slip in there, like, oh no, she's like 75 year old woman or,

even if she was a 35 year old supermodel, it doesn't. doesn't matter to me, do you know what I mean? Just the story. If it's funny to tell me or you want it down with the story, tell me the story and the same for me back to him. But it's like we have to over detail. Like, yeah, no, it's fine. It's got no, you know, no jeopardising our relationship

because this happened kind of thing. You know, like, what? We do the same thing. I mean, I was definitely a lot more jealous when we were younger. So that's probably, maybe it's just a habit that he did when we was younger and now it's just carried on as we're older.

obviously, you know, it doesn't bother me now. But, yeah, when he has those conversations, or I do the same thing, like, oh, it's with this guy, he's gay, by the way. Yeah, like you need to just add that little detail in to just reassure. I think, like you say, it's because, you know, should girls be able to be mates with guys and vice versa, yeah, as we grew up, most of my friends,

apart from a couple of our girlfriends, I was always with boys. And I also, sorry, don't think there's any problem with that people having that now, by the way. This is just my opinion on my thing. It's, it's... I think it's different. If you've grown up. If you've grown up with friends, then obviously we all got together young.

But let's say you meet in your 20s and you've had a best friend since you was a teenager or younger that's the opposite sex, then I don't think there's, you know, you should end that friendship. or you know but then that partner needs to be brought in as well they need to feel comfortable but yeah don't try and make friends with the opposite sex now yeah when yeah that's putting it like that that's probably what i was trying i mean i'm sure there's people that do like you know start a new job oh i'm going out for drinks with dave yeah you know like just dave well if like say if just dave that's no no that's what i mean i don't agree poor dave Do you know what I mean?

It's like, but it's weird, isn't it? I don't agree. Not even, if it was the other way around. Well, yeah, if I'm going on. I think that's probably why, because I wouldn't do it. I don't think it's appropriate. I don't have straight male friends, especially newer straight male friends that I go out with,

especially just me and them. So I do not expect that from him either. No, but at the same time, there is no reason, by the way, why I feel like, does 100% trust. Yeah, it's weird because. because Liam is probably the most trustworthy person. It's that feeling, isn't it?

But like, do you want to rock the boat? Like, what's the point in putting yourselves in situations? Because, like I say, it doesn't necessarily need to be that you that instigates anything. But what if they instigate it? Yeah, but that's what I'm trying to say. If I said I was going for a drink, well, I would happily go for a drink

with any of the male work colleagues in the clinic, right? No question at all. Like, obviously, a bit weird on my own because I don't really do that with any of us a lot. Do you know what I mean? Let's just say, let's just say, okay? There would be no feeling for me at all, like, obviously, that, you know, does anything thing. But I just wouldn't do it anyway.

Out of respect, I think. But it's that feeling of like, on the other side, I'd still be like, well, no, you're not. Why would you want to? Why would you do that? And he'd be saying, well, it's just, and I know it is just a drink with your work friend and da-da-da-da-da. But it just don't put yourself in those situations, isn't it? But it's a woman or it's a man. Do you know what I mean?

It's such a weird thing, isn't it? It's such a strange. It's not even that I wouldn't trust Liam in them situations. And, you know, there's been times, he doesn't do it much here, but like whenever he's been with his friends in England, if they go out to the casino or to a bar, like you say, we don't really have to worry about our guys going out with their guy mates drinking.

And no one should, by the way. No one should, but then at the same time, I don't know if I, like, say, our guys don't drink. But if he was going out, you know, every couple of weeks once a month with all his mates getting wasted in a bar, I don't think I'd like it. Well, do you know why, for me, personally, him, one million percent trust.

But you know what girls are like? Yeah, there's fucking little slags out there, me. They love a little fucking, literally, it's their challenge. Some girls, girls, what if they're calling women, it's not even a word for them, it's literally their challenge to find, this has never happened to me by the way but I just know that people are out there

and it really riles me because it's like they are actual people weird sick people that actually want to do that to be. Want to break up a relationship Yeah it's like oh yeah they've got their relationship can I know even better what? Yeah

you know what I mean? Well this reminds me of a story from college and this just goes to show how a bit of the psycho and I was younger Oh your story I was going to say about someone else No, no, this is my story. Now you just said that. That just kind of brought back a memory. So we were at college, bearing in mind, me and Liam met, he was 15, I was 16 here. We were together six, seven months and then we moved back to England.

So really young, really new in the relationship. First serious relationship. Although still quite long for that age, like six, seven months. And then we moved countries. And we were living with my mum and dad and brother and sisters. And we started coffee. college and um i mean it was worlds apart you know we had our bubble we thought we was old we was out drinking and doing stuff so we were old for our age yeah but going back there i mean these girls were getting up two three hours before college pristine outfits hair makeup like way more taking care of themselves than we did and i did and i was and everything was fashion now like we we cared about the way we looked and we were into fashion but it wasn't as strict rules of like

you've got the old season of that or this is yeah I'll see what you say yeah that kind of level and like hair extensions and fake tan which it still is actually which it still is for sure like you've got the old thing of that but then I rocked up to this

in a new young relationship into like the zoo with all these girls that were pretty were skinny were you know decked out and we were in quite not a posh area but there was kids that there was a group of girls that came from like a grammar school so that is that like a little bit more that you what that

you found that was more that could potentially be more attractive and appealing well for me as an insecure 16 year old absolutely not that Liam ever made me feel like that and there are blokes out there that don't make women feel secure in their relationships and that probably is part of the reason but I never had that Liam but you still felt it anyway but I felt it anyway because it's naturally like I'm naturally comparing myself am I cool as them am I as pretty as them whatever and Yeah, I was 16. Yeah. So anyway, there was one girl that was, well, one of my friends was on the netball team and Liam was on the football team.

And they went away to a tournament thing or whatever it was. And there was another girl in the netball team with my friend who didn't know we were friends at the time. And, you know, we just started and this was quite early into the two years that we were there. And she said to my friend, oh, who's that over there? And she went, oh, that's Liam. it's my friend's boyfriend she went we'll see about that so there you go

see that's the kind of skets I'm talking about exactly that was word for word what she said we'll see about that so my friend actually told me I hated this girl's guts for two years literally like death stares but yeah no I was I was very jealous

like that literally like I say 20 years later I still remember that story yeah I was probably jealous of anyone who'd even put anywhere their eyes near Mitch you know what I mean and Mitch was just doing, you know, then things you see of like, what do you think your boyfriend's doing out with the boys

and he's on a space opera? I don't know what they're doing, do you know what I mean? I'm trying to get, I don't know, something stupid like that of Mitch, basically, you know what I mean? Yeah, or there's that meme when they're in bed on their phone and it's like, I wonder what he's thinking about, he's thinking about this, or he's thinking about girls,

and he's like, you know, how do I get my, a motorbike track? My motorbike to, like, how do I fix that, how do I, that's Liam and Mitch all over. I mean, like you say, there are, I've seen, you know, friends in relationships where the guys don't make them feel secure and, you know, that is a big red flag like to me, you know, the guys should make you feel like, yeah, you're like above them. Like, I don't even see them. Like, and I'm lucky that I am in that kind of relationship. And I have naturally, as I've got older, you know, have better self-esteem anyway and feel. Grown up. Yeah. So now I'd be like, you know. Her over me, really. but no I think you know just as women we naturally compare and you know we don't all feel great about ourselves all the time and yeah I think it is down to the guide to to really help

that and also both ways both ways as well yeah you should make them feel like that and I think that's what we just generally have is those that natural respect that goes both ways and I wouldn't ever want you to have a friend who's a girl that you go out with so I'm not going to do that either um you know and we did have girl and and boy mates when we were younger and we've naturally got older and we moved away so it would be i don't think there's anything wrong with i just think for our situation it would be very strange now and it was certainly for me anyway it'd be questionable of well why yeah do you know what i mean whereas if in a different situation do you get what i'm trying to say i still don't think i'd like it you're literally like no i might

probably say it was obviously me i'm just trying to be open for the people but i'm more like When you say it out loud, like, in a way, I don't think there's a problem if it's 100% above board. If you've got that communication, that trust that have my phone, you're more than welcome to come along as well if you want. We've even had it before when we've been out for dinner and like the waitress is like, oh, just a joke. That's genuinely funny. And then we're like, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? Like a thing like that.

Why are you talking to the waitress about ketchup? Like, come on now. No, I'm just, I think actually. It's a job. I was having, yeah, how dare she? No, I was having this conversation with my mum the other day and I think what gets, like me particularly and just us in our family is that we're quite fiercely loyal.

Yeah. So like, yeah, and that's, I don't know, it's hard, it's hard to explain. There is a balance of like that and then like seriously protect her like, yeah, don't come near my man. Yeah, literally. Okay. It's that thing of there's a meme going around and it makes me laugh

because I even said this to Liam the other day and it was like, if a girl comes up to you and then the bloke's like throwing her out of the way. No, what you expect. Yeah, what you expect your guy to do if a girl approached him in a car throw her across the other side of the room. And like Liam's like polite

and he's like, if someone tries to talk to me like I'm going to like say hello back. Because like that's the last best out who would ever be in. Why would you speak to her back? Yeah. You know, I used to, I used to go out quite a bit when I was at uni with like the cheerleading squad and everything.

It was like student night on Wednesdays. So I used to go out quite a lot without Liam. Drinking as well. But literally if anyone come up to me, I'd literally just turn and look the other way. Yeah. Like I wouldn't even be like, no, so I'm not interested. Like, no, I was rude.

Yeah, yeah. So Liam's like, I'm not going to be rude. And I'm like, why not be rude? I was rude. We expect that, isn't it? Wheeling, I think I've actually pushed generally people off. Yeah. You know, after I got...

Yeah. Like, literally off. I don't remember. I think I have. Do you know what I mean? You have launched a girl before. Yeah. Just to get people...

But I think she came up like in your face when you was like right there. So it's like, well, you can't, you kind of deserve that. Even men, I've done it. Like, you know, like you, they're trying to get clothes. Like, literally like, no, fuck off. Like, I'm serious. Well, obviously, we got engaged at 19. So I was engaged at uni when guys would try and approach me in a club.

And sometimes, And sometimes she'd be like, you know. I used to go with the girls and say it was in a lesbian relationship. Yeah, oh, I've used that. We did that the other week, didn't mean? We know that was our prep work before. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we didn't need it.

No, we're lesbians. I think I actually pushed someone away from me that way. Yeah, I've said that quite a lot of times we're lesbians. Yeah. So, no, I think, yeah, it's, it's, for me, no. It's a difference. Me, no. It's, you can't be friends with it.

No. But on the other side. I can see, I could probably be open to something, you know, like if someone says to me, I can be like, I can maybe understand that. But for my, my situation and my, how my life is and our relationship and da-da-da-da-da. Again, there's no reason why they shouldn't, or I shouldn't. No, just no. Yeah. Like you say, I trust liam, 100%, but just don't be in them situations and just don't have friends.

Yeah, and again, don't have friends. it's so funny aren't we yeah it is funny but it's um but it's just a serrap please just happy to just not have friends girl friends we have our friends i've told you we have our friends we don't need more friends okay let us know what you guys think if you think we're too controlling too psycho i think it's not even controlling do what you want but it's weird it would be weird if he came home and said oh i've got oh i'm so the other way like so do what you want you know like even the other day he was that oh i'm going to to a football match uh with michael somewhere on yeah brilliant because they don't do enough yeah do what you want

you know i don't need to check your phone i trust you when you're out but yeah don't come home saying you don't come home trying to make new friends or something because then i'm going to fucking feel about you know you know sam no because i don't know if it's sam i don't think of anything then yeah no the answer to me even know yeah let us know what you think I wonder if it's just us or if that's just a unspoken rule of relationships that when you're an adult you just don't have friends of the opposite sex especially new friends well I don't know any old friends a different story but then yeah we'll see but um no we'll end that on that note one thing I did want to mention is that you know the the kind of following is growing we really appreciate your support

You know, and the feedback that we've had, especially from women, is like it's nice to have, you know, that kind of space, people that are, you know, thinking and feeling the way that you do and it makes you feel less alone. Yeah. So it's nice to build that, like, a bit of community of, you know, moms that are trying to figure it all out working and stuff. So we will be doing an event. I want to drop that little sneak peek in here. She's dropped it. We've dropped it. We've been speaking about it for a while. So I want to make it know. So for anyone that is interested in, you know, being in a room full of women, you know, like-minded women, that we can all learn and grow from. Yeah. We're all human people.

Yeah. That kind of just empowering room full of women that are doing some really good stuff. Yeah. That we can kind of share and support. Yeah, that no, they can have shit days off. Yeah, exactly. The good, the bad, the ugly and the amazing. If you want to be there for it in person, let us know.

Send me a DM, follow the page, The Rising 1-1-1-1, and closer to the time, we'll drop things in there. But yeah, if you want to be part of the female group, we've got some nice ideas to create that safe space. Yes, hit us up, join in. Great. Adios. Adios.