The Rising’s Growing Together Podcast - The Beginning of Growing Together: Who We Are & Why We’re Here

Episode Date: February 4, 2025

This conversation explores the journeys of two friends who moved to Spain as children, their experiences in adapting to a new culture, the evolution of their friendships, and the challenges of growing up. They discuss their career paths, the impact of early parenting, and the motivation behind starting a podcast to share their stories and insights. The dialogue reflects on personal growth, life lessons, and the importance of community and support in navigating life's challenges. 🎧 Subscribe, Like & Share & Don't 🔔 To Make Sure You Don't Miss Anything New @TheRising1111 on YouTube and Spotify📲 Follow us on Instagram @TheRising1111📌 Drop a 🎙️ in the comments if you’re tuning in!

Welcome to Growing Together, the podcast where ambition meets authenticity. Join us, Charlotte and Billy, two best friends with 20 years of history, as we navigate motherhood, business and everything in between. From the daily chaos to balancing work and family, to the challenges and milestones that shape our lives. We're here to share it all, unfiltered and straight from the heart. So grab a cup at, get comfortable and get ready for real conversations, relatable stories and a whole lot of laughter. Because life's not about having it all figured out. It's about growing together.

Let's dive in. I'm Charlotte. So, where are you from, family? Coming to Spain? Leave it or not? Leave it or not? Originally, I'm from Birmingham. That's where I grew up.

That's where I was born. Then when I was just turned 12, I moved Spain. Not that I wanted to. No. Assistant. Yeah, came with my mum and dad without my brother. So that was a big... How old was he then?

Well, I was 12. 18. But he was in the debts. I've probably gotten word wrong, but something to do with that because he wanted to do military RAF. So he stayed, I think. I mean, I was 12.

I was in my own head. I was my life. This is no one else in life. The world revolves around me. Yeah, but yeah, came here 12. I went to Spanish school for a year, didn't settle, didn't really go, met people, which was good. But then that was it really. Because of that, it didn't settle.

My parents put me into, like, an international school that was in Mercia. That's where I met you. Yeah. Yeah, went to Mercia when the sister school was built, went to the sister school in Villa Martin, which was a little bit closer to. home yeah get rid of them dreaded hour and a half journeys there and back on the bus so yeah met Mitch who's my husband to be yeah my children that's weird so yeah met Mitch at 15 um we've got three children and yeah we've been together 20 years next year so that was us and in the meantime my career from just being interested in the dentistry I suppose I got the job through a friend

by having the language so it was yeah you speak you kind of fell into it yeah it's nothing that I ever wanted to do yeah oh I want to work in dentistry no way um so yeah I mean I love going the dentist but I didn't like think I never have thought no and like dropping out of school didn't think that never like a medical career never so yeah so I got kind of that for friend on reception and that was it just kind of step closer towards the dentistry room was very intrigued by it and then worked my way up in the dentistry to be a hygienist now a self-employed hygienist and yeah that's why i'm now mom of three husband to be to be next year next year yeah and yeah self-employed dental hygienist well that's why i'm to now

sit now if it's even a word so far plenty more years to come yeah cool so I'll go on to me so I'm Billy

from Portsmouth I moved to Spain at 11 so it was literally I think I just turned 11 it was I think my birthday I just remember coming home

and our stuff was in boxes and we're moving to Spain Spain. It's like, excuse me? Literally like impulse. Well, that's what it felt like. My nan and granddad had a place, so we'd visited Casada on holiday and stuff, but

no conversations about actually moving countries and then come home and our stuff was in boxes. A couple of days. You're still next week? Yeah, shop. So that was my mum, my dad, me, my two sisters and brother. Sean, he was about one. Oh, so Shawnee was born in England. She was born in England, yeah. So from me to Shawnee, who's the youngest, that we've got 10 year age gap, she was about one. Well, no, she

wouldn't have even been one, I don't think, because we moved in the November and then she probably was one in the February. So, yeah, four kids in a car off to Spain. So, yeah, again, didn't want to come here, hated it. And obviously, it was first, I just started secondary school for like two months. So it's all about, you know, being cool and felt all grown. up and yeah getting into the groove and getting friends and yeah and then just feeling like I've been dragged away so that wasn't fun um yeah hated at the beginning hated Spanish school I went straight into secondary school hardly anyone in Montessianos at the time spoke English so we were in port cabins it was full of proper school potter cabins um two or three people

spoke English all the Spanish were just I mean Spanish boys are like 11, 12. You're already self-conscious that age anyway. I couldn't understand what they were saying. They're clearly talking about me. Yeah. Yeah. And it was like sit at the back of the class until you understand what's going on. So hated it. And I quite enjoyed school. So yeah, I didn't like that. So yeah, mom did the same thing as yours. Took me out, put me into international school. That's where obviously we met in the faraway land of Mercia, hour and half bus journeys each way. So yeah, it was great when they built a school closer because then it was only 20 minutes up the road for me. But yeah, then we went to that school

And it was, I really enjoyed that at school Because we went in like the oldest year, didn't we? And then we went up with the school So we were always the oldest, so that was fun And we had quite a nice group as well, I think Yeah, I do, I think the teachers were good as well The teachers like felt like they cared, they knew us, they knew our siblings and family and stuff

And they cared about their job Yeah, yeah, exactly I felt like they were all wanted us to do good and we enjoyed it as well because we liked the teachers too apart from the odd biology teacher didn't seem to be very good they changed them a few times

but most of the teachers were good and I'm talking about drama and then by the teachers I would shake it out yeah most of them were good there was the odd ones that weren't but no most of them were good so yeah it was just really fun

I just really enjoyed school like I say we had a great group and then yeah same as you. It was my 16th birthday, we met Liam. So Tammy is another part of our girl group. So her birthday is a day before mine. So we went out, we had a joint birthday for our 60. You threw me a surprise party at your mum and dad's bar. Yeah. So at Tipsies. So yeah, went there, had a little surprise birthday. And then the plan was to go out to just at our local club because we were coming then. We had our own local club, J.Fs, good old JFs, was the R&B Music

Yeah, so we went there, God, my mum and dad came, my nana, granddad was snogging in the club, I remember that. That was fun. The one that my uncle came down, or was that a different party? Is that the same night? I can't remember. I know everyone will, like, say all the adults were in the clubs and were like, this is weird.

Yeah, so they came out to the beginning part of the night, and then we left kind of toriac and we went up kind of near where a lot of us live now, and went out to our other favourite spot, living room and stuff. Yeah. So, yeah, that's where, oh no, it's sober first. Yeah, so I met Liam there. But he obviously knew he was friends with a lot of our friendship group, but we'd always missed each other because I lived 20 minutes away.

So whenever everyone used to hang out outside of school up here, because he didn't go to our school, but he was still friends with everyone because it was like the English lot in the area. Yeah, so then we actually met, and it was my birthday. And, yeah, the rest is history. Been together 20 years next year. Yeah, 20 years next year, same as you. I finished school.

Yeah, Bill finished school. I left school. I left school. Bill finished school. Quite close to the end, right? Me? Yeah. I must left at 15, so whenever that is. I left year, like a year 11, didn't I?

Yeah, so you left. My T-shirt signed. Or was that just me leaving so I made it up? No, we did do T-shirt. I did, yeah, like school school. Yeah. I just didn't stay on with you and Tam and all the other clever people. So you finished school, but then...

I must have finished school then. If I had my T-shirt signed. Yeah, but Tammy stayed and did the next level there, but I went back to England then. Oh, that was it. So, yeah, I think you finished, but then... Okay. So that's college, A-level.

You didn't do that. I'm just thinking I can't leave it to do a little bit of school. If it's worth the paper it's written and I don't even know. I had to do an access course to get into something because I didn't have a school waiver. So I did all that. example. Maybe I didn't finish school. Maybe I did.

I always had an head you didn't, but then I always had, I didn't. But now you've just said, oh, was it just the end of the year? Could have just been the end of the year. And then we did one more year. Yeah. Because, no, we did. I'm sure I did another year at school without you. I think I did, I left S3 and you did it.

And at S4, yeah. So then we, I finished school. And then, yeah, me and Lima been together six, seven months. And there's a bit of a long-winded story, but he thought he was. was going to go back to England and go play football. I wasn't keen on the A levels that the school was offering. And again, we were the guinea pigs. We were the oldest year. And it was just the basic subjects. So I was like, well, I'm going to go back to England and go to college. So I went back and done like law, psychology and things like that. But when I enrolled in college, then Liam wasn't

actually going to go back and go play football. But I'd already kind of made plans to move. So then he ended up coming back to Portsmouth with me. So yeah, I don't even know how it happened. But, yeah, we've been together six months, six, seven months. We were 16, coming up to be in 17, and he moved back to England with us. And in the meantime, I was originally going to go back and live with my nan. But in the meantime, my mum had decided that she'd had enough here, and we was all going back in that. So they'd gone back ahead of us. And yeah, we all ended up living together back in England.

So, yeah, that was kind of thrown into a very serious relationship, particularly after six months in another country. As well as going into the uni, no. We started college. So we started college. So, yeah, Liam started college. I started college. We did that and then went to uni. The minute we finished uni.

Did that like it's an easy thing. Oh, we did that. Yeah, we did that. Did that. Did college, did it. Unis did it. Well, it was about five years. It was two years at college, three years at uni.

But yeah, it went fast. In another way, it feels like I was there for ages. But in another way, just blinked and it was done. Yeah. But we kind of decided that where we were living, that was coming up to an end, like, rental-wise. I'd got a job straight out of uni for the summer with the universe. Liam was on like a labouring job and it was all kind of ended at the same time so we just said look we'll give it a go come back to Spain and if we can get jobs and stuff then we might as well give it a go because we're not having to quit jobs we're not having to give up rental things it was all finishing so we decided to do it everyone thought we were mad I remember yeah we must have been 21 and our parents on a Skype call together saying how mad we were because it was kind of post recession so there was very dead over here at the time and obviously we must have been Obviously, I'd just gone to uni, so mom was like, what are you doing?

What a waste? Do you like, right, we'll give it a go. So we come back, moved over with Liam's on and dad. I just was applying for jobs for a couple of months. Nothing was sticking. Then I got a job in currency. And since then, obviously, that's where I've kind of carried on my career, currency, a bit of property back into currency.

That's took us up to now. And in the meantime, we got married. We've had two boys and bought two houses, sold one. Yeah Knock this one down and built it again Not half of this one down We built it Because that's what we like to do

Make our lives hard Yeah that takes us up to present day Yeah You're married Obviously then Yeah You are married To check your dress

Yeah Yeah That's where you are But do mons the currency No Yeah So I've worked for two currency companies So I did one for six

Seven years Then I went into property For three years And then I got headhunted Back in And I've been there Three years this year. And then off the back of that, so while I was knee-deep in a massive project at work

with a lot of responsibility and investment from the company, I decided while I was eight months pregnant also to do a coaching qualification, throw things in because I've kind of always been in leadership management roles. I did that quite quickly. I went from kind of entry level going into currency at 21, 22. I was a manager by 25, 26. But even naturally, like even at school, I've always been the helper to, you know, help people and stuff.

So, yeah, I've kind of, and it's in a lot of my school reports, like natural leader and stuff, just to kind of hone those skills a little bit more and decided that, you know, to the side of my corporate career that I'd start coaching, just like one-on-one coaching, personal development coaching, helping people, you know, people that are interested in doing better, furthering themselves,

whether it's in their career and their personal life, to help them, you know, high perform there. So off the back of that, which is The Rising, I decided that it would be great to do a podcast. And I thought, who better to do it with me than you? Yeah, right. Because, no, I think what's really good is, like I say, we've done a quick backstory there.

But I'd say, you know, we've grown up together, which is part of it we're always growing and learning we're kind of on the same mindset that you know we're very clear where we want to go what we want to do and always push ourselves and kind of not just rest and we're always striving for something yeah we just have no no you know comparison in our in our work yeah i can tell you anything of your work no tell anything of mine but the value of it yeah is that you know we're we're dependent myself I'd say we've got a lot of the same values and like you know we've got strong work ethic you know we've got grit we push ourselves we can do a lot we try and balance it all like that's human

yeah exactly we're call each other help bye uh yeah so like I say we don't have it all figured out but I think we've done really good to kind of be where we're at now and we've done it completely differently. Well, yeah. So, yeah. I remember the faces when, obviously, I had to my first. Yeah, so I was very young. You're a team mom.

Teen mom, 16, very young. But, yeah, you kind of think, you, I don't, without saying it, it's like, so it'd be fine. Yeah. You know, it's who we are and what we do, and that's how we are. It's crazy to look back then because obviously we, like I said, we were out clubbing, we were having great time, we were, you know, all about us and our friends and everything like that. Selfish, yeah, which you are at that age. There's nothing wrong with it. But that was a full 180, obviously a shock because you were, quite a few of our friends did, went on to have kids quite young and a few years after. But you were the first, you were that good couple years.

younger as well so that was I'd say a shock but yeah I feel like that bit of life also went super fast and now it's like

you would never know obviously Mason Tower's over you obviously you know he's all grown up now near enough but yeah

that that was a lot to deal with yeah it was hard and because you have to figure out life like when you're a teenager

when you're in your early 20s you're trying to figure out what career do I want what am I going to do with my life and you're doing that while you're raising a baby. And when people telling you stuff, you know, back then, you do listen to a lot of it. I really realise that you think that's not for me.

I don't think you trust yourself at that age. And obviously, you're doing something super adult at a super young age. So you're kind of being led and guided by the adults around you anyway. But not really, don't really know it. They can only have their experience. Their experience. Yeah.

And they only done what they knew was best. But it doesn't mean what they did was right. I'm sure there's things that our parents would have done differently. That, you know, going into being moms ourselves, that we can take a lot for what we did like about our childhood and stuff that we would do differently. Yeah. But, yeah, it's a lot of pressure.

And obviously, everything's worked out fine because you've got a great career, you've got great kids, you're still together. But, yeah, that's a lot for someone to go through. Oh, yeah. I think on paper, yeah. Yeah, well, actually, it felt easy. Yeah?

Weirdly. You know what I mean? I've just got on with it. I think that's like because of who you are as a person as well. Yeah, I think it would help personalities of that, yeah. But yeah, generally I would say it was easier. Stress more as I got older. Yeah, I think you kind of overthink a little bit more,

whereas I think when you're younger, you just get on with it and do your best. Am I doing it right? Am I as young? Yeah, just do it. Yeah. Well, like you say, even going through pregnancy and neighbour and stuff, you said it's got harder when actually it should have got easy. Yes, definitely.

But I think when you're young, it's like, say, us moving countries and living together with all our family at 16, like, that's a bit much as well. But you just kind of get on. I think there is a bit of naivity when you're younger and you're just like a false confidence that you have for some reason. Yes. So I see it, like you say, going back, you and bring them going right, we're doing this. Together.

Yeah. that's it we're doing it yeah I'll go here barely been together that long same as you guys obviously and we could have more or less the same we could have broke up at any point

but obviously you had a baby together so there's a little bit more pressure but yeah you like you say there's very few teen parents that goes through that that remain together

and I think that's quite unique about us as well is that we got together with our partner so young young and we're still together now. Yeah. That's very rare.

And I think what was, what's very rare is that the unit we had at our ages, the unity as in. So even obviously, even having being a young mom, dad, parents, whatever, you know, it helped having, it wasn't easy. I'm not going to say it was easy. I've got parents, both sides helping and family and whatever else. But it helped that you had that unity of your friends as well and the family. And do you know what I mean? If you didn't have, we all knew, we all knew each of the back. that then. Yeah. It was all, you know, so it wasn't. Well, I feel like it could be very easy for

like a friendship group to just continue at the age group that they were and you kind of just get left behind. That was it. I'd do. And I'm sure a lot of teen parents that find themselves in that situation probably lose a lot of their friends because they just can't relate and they just carry on with, you know, going out, being all about their friends, which is what you do at that age. But I feel like, I felt we were quite a mature group. And I fit, on my side, I feel that my friends adjusted actually just as much as I had to adjust as a... Yeah. And my life generally, I do actually feel that my friends adjusted.

Yeah. Which I don't think does happen. Well, I didn't think it happened. I suppose we don't know. But you couldn't have thought it would happen. Yeah. When you think back, you probably wouldn't expect it. But yeah, I feel like we were just kind of like,

Oh, Mason's part of our group. Literally that. He comes everywhere with you. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So they're definitely that help as well as how we are. And our personalities, obviously. Like, again, it was amazing.

Well, like we were just saying before we started recording, that was really only two years of our life before it came along. So when I think back to all the memories of us growing up together, it feels like we had 10 years worth of memories. And actually squeezed all that into two years. It really is. So school, going out. shopping, having fun, dancing, drama,

all the kind of things that we did at school. What time? What, when did you, because I moved to 12th then I would have gone Spanish school for like a year, like you say, literally then three years. Which felt like forever. Yeah. But that was such a, it wouldn't have been, I think,

if we stayed in the UK, but if we, where we was all at at that time, you know, like obviously school, the glowing out six we all had mopeds yeah that was at 14 right we could get licenses for moped

so maybe we was 13 because we'd all got our mopeds together yeah yeah didn't we yeah because george got one in Villamarting she was the first one yeah when we were at that school so yeah we must have met a 13 at the other school yeah it must be and then

when we moved up to the school near where we lived then everyone started to get their moped because we was all turned and 14. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so that's kind of how we come to be who we are, how we met. Yeah, basic. The basic. Every sharing basic.

Yeah. We'll spend the next few episodes going into a little bit more depth of kind of as we grew up and some more stories for everyone. So many stars. But, yeah, no, it's like I say, I think part of the reason of why I wanted to do the podcast is because obviously I really enjoyed the coaching side of things and that's super personal. So in order for people to like pick their coach,

I feel like there needs to be a certain level of like, are you the right person for me? Because obviously coaching someone in their personal life's really... It's a big thing. Yeah. It is a big... A super personal. Someone to help you in that field,

then I think you should should, should get to know them a little bit if you can. And I think it's a great opportunity for potential people who do want your guidance and, you know, an expertise, really, that they get to see this side of you. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because, you know, it's real. Yeah.

And I think I would feel more comfortable going into somewhere, knowing someone a bit more real, you know? So the podcast is twofold, really, because it came to like, because I thought, yeah, it'd be great to share content. for people to get to know me a little bit more. So... Come tonight, Bill. Isn't it air? No? Whatever.

Yeah, well, that's the story. So obviously, I wanted to do a podcast because, yeah, everyone's doing podcast at the moment, but I thought it's a great way for, because I'm offering such a personal service for people to get to know me better. And obviously, you know, I enjoy doing that and that's what I want to continue doing. So I wanted to do that, but then I thought, don't really want to do it just myself. I'd like to do it with someone. So, yeah, me and Liam were on our way to the airport on holiday.

We were going to, actually, we were going to a business event in Phoenix, Arizona for online businesses just to kind of help me get my head around the online space a little bit more. So I was like, yeah, I want to do it with someone. It's funny because a couple of weeks leading up to this, I kind of had this thought anyway, and it was only like talking out loud to Liam, he was like, and I said, do you think Charlotte would do it? And he was like, messenger. And I was like, oh, we're on our way to holiday. I mean literally I think in the train or in a car or something and then he's like messenger and I was like oh I don't when I get back he's like do it now I was like right okay so I was sending you a message and then I mean straight away you were like yes on it so I kind of had a feeling that you would be up for it and there you just need to tell me you know like yeah I'll be there well out of our group we're always the ones they're like yeah I'm up for it put me forward so I thought I did think that you'd be up for it and although this is

a little bit going to be linked to, you know, the coaching world. It's not really something that I want to be bringing up in these conversations. These are more just about us and our life and where we've got to so that people can get to know me for me and obviously coaching will be aside from it. So it was for people to get to know me more but it was also I thought it'd be great especially when I decided I wanted to do it with you that eventually we're just going to have a whole catalogue of videos. Well I think initially like you say it was

was more focused on on your coaching yeah however it's more turned into oh let's have let's just two friends yeah have a chat yeah but when you look at you know what you could use from it if i was someone looking for for for helping guidance then i would i would definitely look on on the podcast not just for a good laugh for cry yeah but just to like you say actually yeah this is this is the girl i want to help me yeah exactly i'd say yeah so yeah it kind of staggered into something else, didn't it, in the end? Yeah. Although you've got the basis of why you started it.

Yeah, exactly. It's there to support obviously the business that I'm doing, but I think I'm more excited for the fact that we're just going to have these videos. Because like I say, these are the chats that we have anyway. So it's nice that we're just kind of recording it, not only for, you know, the community and people to get to know us. But it's also for, like I say, it's great for our kids growing up. Yeah.

Because we're going to be talking about family and things like that and work and just everything. And I think it would be nice if I could have looked back at videos of my mom at my age now. And just like, how did she come up with these things or what was her reasoning behind that? Even stories, I probably haven't even heard of. Well, yeah, we bring up stories and memories all the time. But it's not necessarily always stuff that you'll remember. remember to tell your kids, so. Well, I think something, the same happened with Mason,

someone mentioned something to Mason the other day about when they'd seen his dad, you know, when they, when he was expecting him kind of thing. Yeah. I was like, I haven't had that story. Things like that. Yeah. I wish I would have things like that, you know. Saying that, I did give a book to my mum and dad.

It was like, I want to hear your story things. I did the same thing for Christmas. I bought them for my mum and dad. Yeah, they haven't started. Well, I haven't asked if they started. it actually but I did it was one of them things that kept coming up on my Instagram so I bought it from Instagram tell me your story so yeah I gave my mom and dad them because bought one and it said M-O-N but my mom don't spell that mom like that yeah yeah that's American isn't it? Yeah to

get another one in which said M-U-M because I can't give her that the first thing she's going to say I didn't even notice I probably gave my mom the American version it was just one of it so yeah give it her and I think I was supposed to put Charlotte in it I didn't even do that but yeah they have them books. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, well, that's what I wanted to. Yeah, exactly, because sometimes, like, even at Christmas Eve when I gave them the books, we just got onto a story of, like, when they were together and obviously, like, figuring out life and, like, when we were just before coming to Spain and us as kids and then juggling everything and stuff they got up to. And I'm like, that's great

stories and I just want to remember them. But I think now you want to. So when I was younger, If my mum tried to talk to me about them. Who care? I don't. Yeah. Yeah. Like, or I don't. You're not caught.

Great. You're really good for you kind of thing. You know, really. It's a shame. I'm genuinely interested. I don't want to know. So, yeah. It's a shame you just don't, you really don't appreciate your parents or you're older. Well, for example, my granddad is, he's not with us now.

But my brother, one time was around the house. And he must have just put record on his phone. And it was the natural conversation and my grandmother talking about the past or what he and that was the most real thing. It wasn't a photo of me, just just photo because you don't really video a combination of things I think for us doing it.

Yeah. So I'm glad that we're going to have these stories to look back on and yeah, we don't know where it's going to go like you say, might be laughing, might be crying, we'll see. Because it is literally about life and like ups and downs to what we said.

I know. The challenges, the fun times, the stuff we struggle with and just how we help each other. And that's the bit that, you know, the advice and getting ourselves through some tough stuff as well. Yeah. So yeah, hopefully we can share some things with whoever's listening and even if it's just for them to have a... Even if I don't listen anywhere. I don't really care. I'm going to check my way. Hopefully people listen. But if not, then we've got these, like I say, they're here for us more than anything.

For us people are laugh. Even just for us to remember ourselves, it's only when you actually sit down and you start talking that you even remember those memories. And you remember things very differently to me, sometimes the same thing, or things that I've completely forgotten about. And it's only when we get chatting. And then I'm like, God, yeah. So I'm glad that all this is going to be recorded.

More for ourselves and our family than anything. And if we can help some people along the way with anything that they're going through, then that's a bonus. Yeah, definitely. We're not professional. Well, I'm definitely not. But I'll go experience.

Is it right? We've got a lot of experience. They're happy. Yeah. my work diary is busy not we're not too bad can we no like you say we've done completely different paths I

we were me and Liam were together for 10 years before we got married and then we went on to have a baby and then another baby so my kids are six and seven months but then you did things the complete opposite way around so you went straight in and had a baby and then continued to obviously not planned I wasn't

I was 16 and be like, sorry, then, babe. Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't planned. And, yeah, my children are 17, 11 and 8. Oh, dealing with a thing then. Yeah. So I think exactly, we've done things completely differently. We've got lots of, you know, experience, just life experience of different things, you know, corporate boardrooms, meetings,

professional way out of my level yeah exactly and then grubs and bollaging yeah but like you say we are completely align in the way in which like the standard and expectation that we have for our work and and home and our home life um is very similar but then at the same time we've done things completely different yeah we are so yeah i think uh we've got a lot to share and i think Hopefully people will be excited to listen. Yeah, you will. I bet you will. You won't want us to stop it.