The Rising’s Growing Together Podcast - The Vasectomy Talk Someone Has To Take One For The Team?

Episode Date: March 21, 2026

In this episode of The Rising's Growing Together, We tackle the "great domestic debate"The Vasectomy. After years of one partner managing contraception navigating the pill, hormonal changes, and the intensity of childbirth is it finally time for the other to "take one for the team"?We dive into the hilarious (and very real) fears men have about "the snip," the confusion between medical procedures, and why a bag of frozen peas is a small price to pay for peace of mind. But it’s not all medical talk We explore the complexities of parenting teenagers, the struggle of being a good role model when you’re caught watching "colorful" content on Netflix by your YoungersWhat’s Inside:The Contraception Imbalance: Why the "pill strike" is becoming a real conversation in modern households.Fear vs. Reality: Breaking down the 10-minute procedure versus the years of hormonal side effects.Parenting Teenagers: Navigating the "I hate you" phase and the transition into a new world of parenting girls.The Mirror Effect: How our kids reflect our worst habits (including screen time and language) and how to fix it.Life in Spain: Celebrating "red days" and the confusion of international Father’s Day.

Hi guys. Welcome back. Happy Father's Day today. It was Mother's Day. It gets really confusing because the English one and the Spanish ones are on different days. And not everybody, not every one of English and who lives here celebrates both. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or as much as one another.

Yeah. We're not big on either, like big big, but we definitely make just a little thing. Literally, the kids making something. Bring in a cup of coffee or tea up to bed. So I said to Liam, we'll follow the Spanish ones because, like I say, Hayden made something at nursery and things like that. So I was like, okay, we'll do the Spanish one. But then it was English Mother's Day of the day. My mum literally was here the day before for one day.

So I got some new pyjamas. So, yeah, like, it's nice to just do something small. It is. It is. It doesn't have to be a big thing. But, yeah, otherwise I ended up saying, happy father's day to my dad twice. Yep. And then my mom twice.

I don't want you to think that I'm forgetting. but then like, oh, yes. Well, we do both. I can't be on the same day. No, in it. We really don't do anything big. I was lucky enough on the day. I got this lovely little necklace.

Yeah, because that looks different. Yeah, lovely little necklace. Just a little gesture. Again, a cup of tea and a handmade card. I got that too. A cup of coffee, should have said. Yeah. But, yeah, it was good.

But little fact. Did you know that for Spanish Father's Day, it is a red day day off? Yeah. And for Spanish Mother's Day, Mother's Day, there is no such thing. I did not know that. Hmm.

So it's the, because obviously in England it's always a Sunday. Must be. Must be. Must be something like that. Spanish Mother's Day. So it's never like a... It's on a specific date, but it's not like a... That's a bit unfair. Festival.

It's very unfair. I'm sure it's not anyway. Bit rude. Typical. Bit rude. So yeah. But yeah, I've just got back from Miorka. Yeah, I see your little poll.

We were trying to work out where he was in the world. Yeah, you know. But be anywhere. Yeah. So not long being back from Portugal, got back from New Yorker. So yeah, it's been non-stop because it was like, yeah, I was in Portugal, back for a week. In New Yorker, back for a week. Going to the Hendu, then I'll be back.

And then we're meant to be going on holiday, but I think we've cancelled that. So it's like, where are. Yeah. You don't even know where you are? No, it's like, why unpack? But you've done work. Yeah, another work trip. Until my hen.

Yeah. So two work trips done. Now it's obviously going to be the Hendoo. Yeah. and the one after we're canceling going to Dubai, ofs, but we're debating what to do in that week. So whether I just cancel it and maybe take a long weekend and take some days back or actually book other flights and go somewhere or even just jump in the car,

drive somewhere and stay somewhere from the other day. So to be confirmed. It's easy to, isn't it? Yeah, it's Easter break. Anyway, so it's going to be more expensive whatever we end up doing. But yeah, we'll see. Too be confirmed. Well, I've got to do something.

Kids are off. Entertain them. Yeah. Make memories and all that. Yeah. How about you? I'm trying to think, to be honest. I haven't been very well.

So I actually took a day off this week. I actually got up in the morning. Do you know what? I didn't feel terrible, terrible. It was more a case of if I was a patient, I wouldn't want me coming near me. Does that make sense? For you, it's a bit different. Yeah, like other people.

Covered or not covered? I was a bit, yeah, I was a lot. You know what I mean? So, yeah, I just took a day off and literally rested and really tried to sort myself out, especially with everything, I've got so much going on. Yeah, big month coming up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I really hope I haven't missed anything big, but just the norm, really.

Kids, hobbies, matches, work. My nephew's actually over, but I haven't seen him yet. Mason has, if I haven't. Yeah, so that's it really. Yeah, nothing too. Got spoiled, like, because in like, you know, Mother's Day was lovely to be together. Today we went for a lovely walk for a breakfast to celebrate Spanish Father's Day. Yeah.

Kids were on the bikes, nice, lovely. Kids are all here playing. We're going to have chicken baguettes after. Yeah, because they're all off school today. Yeah. Because, like you say, dads get a date off. Yeah. So, yeah, chicken baguettes after the pod.

Mm-hmm. Remind us of camping. Yeah. Yeah, you know, when someone mentioned something and where we had it and it was just so good when we had it at camping, when I was like, because I think Liam suggested someone else. I was like, no, no, no. We were like, oh, should we do a buck? Because it was really, we had a couple hot days last week and we're like, oh, a barbecue is nice. And you're like, no, no, just you can forget. And actually it's really windy. It's sunny, but it's windy. So, yeah. It's that time of year you don't away. It's too cold to sit outside. It's where I got this thing from. You know, you're in the hot, the cold, the wind, the not. Oh, it is even with work as well, like trying to dress for work and it's like, put. coat off, coat on, coat off.

Yeah, exactly that. Doing like the crudy kid. Yeah, what the kids. Jack it on, that was it. That was the kids this morning on the bike. They're having shorts and a blue shirt and I'm literally got scarf. Everything on walking against the wind like this. Oh, dear.

But something we did want to bring up today, only because we had debated it between ourselves and the boys, obviously, when we were, when we'd gone for out one night, whatever it was. Yeah, I did know, wasn't it? was vasectomy although like Liam just said before hysterectomy

no the wrong one yeah that's talking about vasectomy yeah but um yeah no

it's I can literally swear down because was it something because it's something in our house that's say never been brought up

it has been brought up because we know other people who have had them yeah but it's not been brought up in a thing of you're actually consider it

no yeah so I swear Liam will say this never happened but we absolutely had a conversation years ago like definitely before Hayden maybe even before Kaysen of like oh because I take the pill like once we're done

you should have a vasectomy and then like you say you don't have to worry you don't have to pump yourself with pills and all that crap because taking the pills never really bothered me and like I do I am okay on the pill but just as I've got older and just the more you think about things

and it's like, I just, well, unnecessarily, if I could stop putting, like, hormones. Because you're supposed to have a break, aren't you? After like 10 years, is it? I've heard, yeah, I've heard, like, I don't know what you're meant to do breaks. And there are different types of pills and stuff like that because you've got like mini pills and other ones and ones that have more hormones and stuff. And I don't think mine is a great one either.

I think mine's got quite a lot of bad stuff in it. Or not bad stuff, it increased risk of things. So I swear we had this conversation. And Liam was it, yeah, maybe because it's actually like becoming more real that he denies, denies the conversation. He did say that he would have one. But obviously this was way before it was even a thing. So, yeah, we've not really got to the point. Yeah, exactly.

I should have got him to sign something with the marriage certificate. But yeah, no, it isn't something we seriously talking about. But now we are pretty sure we're done. Like, yeah, I don't know how it came about where we were talking about it. and then brought it up at dinner because Leon's like, no, no. It's not even a consideration. Like, no. And I'm like, well, for you, it's like 10 minute thing,

go home with an ice pack by the next day, you're absolutely fine. Or it's like deep surgery taking organs out of my body. I love to say it. Like, come on now. Brilliant. And it's true. It is true. Like, it is such, the difference of surgeries to happen.

Yeah. For the result that you're wanting it for. for the reason. Exactly. It's huge. But not just how unbalanced the surgeries are, but I've pushed two kids out. So, like, I've gone through the worst of the worst for hours and hours. And took the contraception.

And been taking the contraception, like, you can do a 10-minute job. Yeah. Like, I get that it's not a nice thing to think about, but it's not a nice thing to think about what we had to go through either. No, they, they used it too. Exactly. Yeah. So I don't think it's that unreasonable.

No, I actually don't. To us, my dad's had one. You said you know people. Yeah, I know people that I've, in my family that have had them. And again, it's, you know, it wasn't a trauma or anything. No. But it's not something I've personally asked Mitch to do. But obviously I've asked him the question because of this situation.

And his answer was completely the same. Like, no. And I don't know. I'm trying to think if I ask like, why. I mean, just for the point of like, bye. Yeah. I think it's probably more, one, the scared, being scared. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. And also, the, is it the feeling of like the manhood side? I don't know. Maybe. Do you get what I mean? Everything's the point. It doesn't mean that, but is it that? Do you know, I'm just making that, but I'm just presuming what the reasons we think.

It can't possibly be like, in case we just change our mind and we want more kids. That would be a real reason, but I don't think it's that. No, because you can still, there is still a possibility. You can get pregnant anyway. Sometimes you can just take it and if you really adapt that desperate, you can have IVF or stuff, I assume. Yeah. So, like, it's not the be all an end goal.

No. So, yeah. Yeah, it did. It just made me do it. It really did. I actually can't believe that, like, more so like, because, yeah, now he said no. I'm a bit like, well, I think you should.

What the God we're supposed to do that? I think you should. So now it's like. on stripe, I'm stopping taking my pill. Yeah, see how you like that. I know what you're going to do. See, I can't take the pill either. No. So it's a bit of a struggle for me and Mitch in that term of like, you know, again,

I have never asked him to actually have it. We get through fine. Yeah. Luckily, touch everything that you can find around you. Because obviously we are definitely done. Yeah. But it would be a lot. easier if you just win a nudge operation. Yeah, wouldn't it? But having said that... I don't think he realises the result of that. Does that make sense?

Like, the thought of it, but they don't, they haven't even looked into it. They haven't like, oh, do you know what? I mean, I think it's probably more the scared of... Absolutely. Like, bottling it. This is why women have children. Yeah, otherwise the population would be... I feel like Liam's not going to air this. He's going to cut us completely out.

Literally, you're just digging it right out. Well, I get why you'd be scared, but I... I also think you just have to man up and push yourself through it because, come on now, all the stuff that we've had to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it would be better for me. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And us do not have to, you know, worry. But saying that, I do know someone that accidentally got pregnant after one. So now, like, would I even trust it? I wouldn't. This is my thing. That's why I'm not really that bothered. Would I trust it? I just have to kind, we just got a, you know, yeah, maneuver of, you know, situations.

But yeah, it's fine. I'm not going to do too, too, because I don't think he's going to watch it. But you know what I mean? It would be nice to not have to take the pill, but I'm not at the point where I'm like, I really want to stop and we need to really have a conversation about it. But at the same time, we are still young, but at the same time you have been taking it for a while.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, since we've been together. So officially, probably like 20 or years. That's quite a long time. But I have had breaks in between, obviously, for when I had Kaysen and then for maybe a year before we got pregnant with Hayden. I'd done the app things where I followed my Yeah the temperature and I tracked my

Yeah the temperature and I tracked my cycle Because that worked didn't it? Yeah I'm sure it did And obviously before Hayden it was like if it didn't work And it was you know We know we wanted another kid so it wasn't a problem So I was willing to like take that risk Yeah yeah yeah

But even with that I don't think I'd want to trust that It is like 98, 99% you know effective But when you know you're done Yeah I just wouldn't want to be in the position of falling pregnant. It's a big risk. It is a big risk.

Because, yeah, falling pregnant when you don't want to be pregnant, then you're in that predicament of what do we do about that? Yeah. And then that could be, you know, you might both be on the same page to say, well, you know, we're supposed to have a third. So we'll, you know, roll with it. Or do we not roll with it? Or are we on the different pages?

And there's so many times since now, obviously, we know like this, that I've said to Mitch, I think I've said it before, and I've said to him, I think one of the paper, he's like, okay, you know what I mean? And it does, it brings you to that, it brings them questions again if it ever did. So it is a big risk for a simple, simple surgery labs. So, yeah, it's definitely, it just, it just made me giggle for me.

It just made me giggle their strike up, like, not even, like, not even, do you know what? maybe one day. Yeah. And then Liam just smoothly saying, yeah, his psterectomy is like that. Just like a in and out day kind of thing. Yeah, all right then, we'll do it. There ain't no way he knows what that even means.

But if he did and he still thought it was okay, absolutely no. No. So, yeah, what do you think? Well, or has your fella had it done? Have you had the conversation? Yeah. Have you had an argument about it? I'm sure there's definitely people that have had arguments about it.

Like you say, it's not that serious at this point in our hands. house but. No, exactly. You didn't have an idea. I think the fact he's actually said, no, it's actually annoyed me. Now it's making me actually want to be like, come on now. Like, you can't do that. And I've done all this.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a fair debate. Yeah. It's a fair debate more on your side than any of the other. But I'd like to hear. Well, yeah. Because I know other people, the agreed between, you know, each other that they did

don't want kids and he's had a vasectomy. Yeah. And obviously they must trust it because they don't want kids. And, you know, obviously they're okay for now. But yeah, it's like if it was guaranteed. The question, I suppose it's the question. So yeah, whoever who has had it done, do you question or, you know, is there, do you worry about it, I suppose, that is that risk? Yeah.

Do you get what I mean? Yeah. For me, it's more of that. And do you trust it? Yeah. They obviously do trust it or do you trust it? Yeah. Do you do something or do you not?

Yeah. That is probably more of the things. for me is that, well, if Liam turned around and was like, yeah, all right, then I'll do it. Like, oh, do I actually trust it? Yeah, imagine you. Imagine if I fell pregnant. I imagine if it was twins.

No, no, it's more like, imagine if he actually got it done. And then he like, see you, like, taking the pill or something. Well, actually. Yes, a little bit. I don't really trust it. So I went through all of that and you don't even trust it. So I think most people's worry about doing it, I think from other conversations I've heard is more,

but are we done? Are we not done? But that doesn't really seem to be part of my conversation or your organisation. Ours is more, do we trust it? Exactly. My thought process for that would be, well, it's reversible. Yeah. Is it not? No.

I think in some cases, and I don't know if it's 100% guarantee. So in my head, that's what I would think. It's reversible. But the first thing I would think is risk. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Is the risk of that of, because that's higher risk. Yeah.

I mean, in the terms of one in another one and I suppose not, and then you appreciate what you have. Do you know what I mean? That overweighs that for me. Yeah. And for me right now, I'm pretty sure we're done. Like, I can think of like anything worse at the moment of like actually having to go back through baby and go through like that toddler stage. Hayden's just getting to like a nice age where he's...

I was like, yours is still very young as well. Yeah. Yeah. You're very done done for having a very young child. Yeah. but it's a lot. He hasn't even started preschool yet. I know, but it's a lot.

Like, God, and it, like, them years felt long. Like, Kaysen's flew by. Hayden's years have felt long. Like, and, you know, we're at a point where, like, sleep is still not perfect, but it's better. He's not as, like, crazy as, while he's still crazy, but he's not as, like, you know, he can play now and he can do things and move around and we can take into soft play. Like, we just get into that a bit now.

And I'm like, oh, to do. start again. Well, I actually don't think I've got the energy to do it. Or don't talk about energy. I literally, well, the other day, and certainly today, yet the other day I just add enough. I would just literally like, you lot, not you lot, the two of them, because obviously you may so different,

but I feel like you're harder at the minute than toddlers because you are old enough to be able to tidy up after your fucking shit. You know what I mean? And all that. And I feel like I'm doing more for you now. When you were younger, this is a baby. This is taking the piss. Do you know what I mean?

That's what I was... And then this morning, I actually went into Lexi's room and she actually probably thought, fuck. Like, I know my side of the bed's like, really messy. And she actually... I know that's there because I'm going to do it in a minute. And that's her excuse. I'm leaving that there for later.

Everything. This is going to be for later. No, Lexi, that's been there for a month. That's been there for a month. You just put it away. And when you want it, get it out. Everything's got a place. So yeah, I did actually lose my shit the other day

because it was just really getting on my nerves. I was like, oh, it's wrong. really winding here. I'm literally walking around, picking shirt out. I'm going, I'll go back. And the bit that I've just picked up and, like, tired, there's something else there. Yeah.

Like, what the hell? We've got a lot of toys that we are picking and putting away at the moment for Hayden. But generally, like, Kaysen is quite good. He does end up collecting stuff on the table. So it's like, right, clear it back to your room now. And he does clean his room once a week in his room. He's generally tiding. Yeah.

But I reckon Hayden's going to be, like, shit everywhere in his bedroom. And the moment his room's tidings. Morgan's always been tidy, to be fair. That's not, it is more Lexi. But maybe it's a girl thing. I don't know. You know what I mean? Or just a personality.

I don't know. And I want them to play with the stuff. This is my point. Get it out. Get it out. Get it out. Get it out. But just please put it back.

Yeah. If you put it back, because that's the point. I've made a space for everything. Yeah. So it's easy for you to access. Get in, get out. Yeah. Whatever.

Do you know what I mean? So that side of it is just, yeah, I just got the other day. You know, and you just being patient, patient, patient and then you go instead of just sorting it out. You know, like instead of just dealing with it, I kind of left it, left it and then went. Probably not the best way. I think, but they know now. Yeah, it's just annoying, just stuff everywhere.

It is so, it does drive me mad. Like, it just instantly annoys me. But like, one of Liam's bad habits is he'll get things out and leave it there, like you say. So, like, you know, box a cereal, put it down, make it, put it, leave it there. And then I'm like, just put things away as you're going. And then it's not stuff. everywhere.

It's literally like bits just everywhere and they're all doing it. Yeah. And then it all adds up. Leaving. It's the sides. Mitch and the best of it. It's very good at just using a side. Yeah.

You know, like you say, just aside for just, yeah. Why? You're saying you're clearing the side, but actually you just put it to the side. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead of it just being like that, actually, you've just nicely tidied it to the side of it. And don't you wrong, it looks great. Yeah, but half of that needs to go out of where it is. So yeah, that sort of thing, you know.

Everyone lives a side of my house on a chair or a edge of something. You know, like just to hang on something or leave on something or just put that there. I really try not to do that. I think I am pretty good at as I'm doing things, putting things away. Oh, my stuff. As I've finished brushing my teeth, I put my toothbrush away. I don't just leave it on the side or the toothbrush, the tooth paste with the lid off, like on the side. Like if I open something to use it, I close it and I put it away.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't generally leave that much stuff out as I'm going. No, no. So be fair, Mitch gets stressed with mess anyway, but there's just a different way of the tidiness for me. So to be fair, he does all the kind of the daily stuff and then I'd do the deep bit. Yeah.

Does that make sense? Because it's more of like an organising tidy and his is more of just a general clean-up if that makes sense, you know? And it works, it works. Yeah. But just some days, it was more with the kids for me that day. I was just like, come on now. You're really old enough to, you know what I mean?

Like, come on. And Morgan is better, you know what I mean. But it's just, it's me too. I need to, it's keeping that direction. But funny you say that about me saying about different, where we're at in different ages. I had an experience of the day with Morgan. Oh dear.

So my teenager hated us, hated his life. Wanted to kill himself. So I took it to the extreme of right, I can't leave you on your own and made him sleep next to me. all because Because you're actually concerned or because like, no, if you're going to say stuff like that

then I'm going to make you you and I'm a bit worried. Yeah, but I was serious. Like, yeah, like you need to understand what you're saying here. Do you know what I mean? It's really serious. And, um,

and okay, on the other side of that, he probably never tell me again because I kind of literally like put him on green watch, you know what I mean. But the reason for this guys was because we questioned should he have sugar in his cup of tea?

Oh, wow. I think it was even questioning, not even having sugar. I think he was questioning how many spoonfuls of sugar was happening in his tea. And it just blew up. And literally, by the end of the night, by this time, I've got him lying next to me or I've made a bed upon the floor because I'm like, you are not leaving me.

And he's not, I've gone to him a few times. Like, are you, are you, is this really how? Yeah. Yeah. So it wasn't like a thing of, I give him the chance to kind of. It wasn't like, oh, I said it in the moment. No, no, yeah. Do you know what I mean?

Like he stuck to it. And, yeah, Mitch was literally to each of him bed. And Mitch was like, well, that got a bit exaggerated, didn't it? I was just like, oh my goodness. That is, yeah, a very big reaction. Yeah, I felt one, like questioning my reaction. Yeah. Like, should I be doing this?

Because obviously, if ever this did happen, would he ever come to me because of this reaction sort of thing? Yeah, yeah. But I think it must have been the next morning. I don't really go on my phone anyway. And I think I'd gone on my phone and gone on a social. social media and seen Gemma Solomon's

post. Anyway, I think she'd commented that her daughter that morning had actually clapped her. She'd actually clapped her for being the worst mom in the world. This was all before the school run. And then before getting in the car to go or whatever, it said,

and I've told my teacher about you. And then that followed on to seeing loads of different comments of teenagers that they'd said to their parents. Yeah. And obviously Morgan's one would have just slotted straight in there with all of them. It made me feel a lot better, obviously. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like, this is not a bit unnecessary for asking you if you should have that much sugar in your tea. I'm actually thinking about you in your health right now and now I'm a bad parent. But it's definitely just an age thing. It's got to be an age thing. And it's certainly not acceptable for him to say those sort of things and it's not. But it's also a learning thing. for him and me, more for him to actually understand what he's saying.

Yeah. Whether that be that or other stuff. Yeah. And it's like knowing your emotion. So it's like, is it because you're that heightened that is actually what you think you feel in that moment? Or is it you're just saying things for shock value to try and get your point across. So it's like, yeah, you need to realise that some things you can't take back. And once it's said, it's said.

And yeah, it's hard because I've seen a few things recently. It's exactly the same thing. And obviously I'm not at that point yet. No. And it's like, do you just go, it's age, I'm not going to take it personal, or is it like absolutely you cannot speak to me like that and I ain't having it? Like do you allow them? Okay.

So for me, out of my experience, this is hard because Mason, from what I remember, he wasn't as teenagery, like attitudy as, I was going to say the word like stroppy more. And I say Morgan isn't bad. Yeah. But he definitely has more of a, like, but it's puberty and its hormones. Exactly that. I just don't feel I had it so much with Mason.

Yeah. I definitely would have had it. I definitely had an experience. And this would have certainly been within about three years ago because I was in this job. So where's Mason 18? So I'm not very good of math people. So yeah, say 15, 16.

Where I had to leave work, brain and mine, I think I'd only just started because I'd had a text from Mason, saying that sort of thing about his life and da-da-da-da-da and I literally, my heart sank. Everything just, I just was in, I just left, I literally just walked out and went home.

And he didn't, he was having a fucking strap over something. And I literally, obviously, crying my eyes out at the time, also had to explain to him that I understand how you're feeling in terms of you're not happy, okay? But saying what you're saying to that extreme

is really serious. And the thing is that there are people of these ages and other ages who do really, really feel this deep and this way. And it angers me, I suppose, when teenagers like that can just say it. But at the same time, they're still kids and they're still learning about what they're actually saying. They probably don't know as much like about it. This is what I mean. So in terms of that answer for me and just my experience, it would be a balance.

It would be a balance of both. So fucking making sure they know that that is not acceptable to say those things, especially when they are not meaning it and they don't feel like that. Like this is not, you know what I mean? You can't just throw them things out. But it is a learning curve of explaining. This is why these things happen through experience. Definitely explaining when it comes to, yeah, like saying things about that.

I think it's more like you're horrible, your crap parents. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like trying to be mean for no, not for no reason, but like. Yeah. But on the other side of it, all right, they're saying it and they don't mean it, which is the thing that we have to, you know, educate and talk about, okay? Or bollocum, whichever way you want to do it. Yeah.

Both in balance, okay? Yeah. But, oh, fuck, I always do this, the other side of it. Understanding the both sides of it and the experience of that. because at the end of the day, we only learn through experience, really, don't we? So I have had it with, I have had that little bit of Mason, but in terms of all the teenagers' stuff, I didn't feel I had so much. So I'm definitely learning, but sometimes you have to just go, it's their age.

And sometimes you feel like it's an excuse, you know, when you've got kids who are tired. Yeah. And genuinely tired, because sometimes some people do use an excuse, but they are genuinely tired. Yeah. And you're like, they're tired. And you feel like, you feel like you just. being one of them parents and were just saying it. No, I do it all the time. I do it all the time.

I do it all the time for cases. No, but sometimes there are children who are just little shits and they're not tired. They're just being little shits or then or whatever. They're not listening or whatever it is. But, you know, like when you actually, when genuinely they are tired and you say it, you know, you feel like that. But and it's the same thing with teenagers sometimes, you know. I think, where was it?

Oh, we had it at the twins party with my teenager actually and the fizzy drink situation. Do you remember? I was in the plate pen with Libby Hayden. I was all over the play. He was in different stages. Yeah. We was at the bar. She was in the play area.

So there's an argument, not an argument, but saw an argument. Fizzy drinks. So it's a thing of, Morgan was just getting can after can after can after can. And it was my point about stop, you don't need to have that many. You don't, do you even want it? Yeah.

Okay. But his answer back to me was, well, how many coffees have you had? And my answer was, Or how many cans of you had, I think he said? There's something like that. And I just was like, what? How dare you? I'm 35 years old for a start.

You know, okay, this is another thing we could go on to. Is it being an example? Yeah. But I was just like, no, I'm 35 years old. If that's what I want, I'm going to have it. Yeah. And dida-da-da-da-da-da. So we had this whole thing, obviously.

And again, it was a teenage moment, you know, but I still had to kind of educate and make sure we knew. Like, I'm telling you for a stop. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But then after that, I did go up to him and I did say to him, look, it's not about the fact that if you're going to get the cans, Morgan, or how many you've had because it's not healthy or whatever, whatever, whatever. It's more for me is I know you actually don't want them. You're doing it just because it's there. Yeah.

And that's what, at the minute, that's what Morgan's personality is very, he just sees it. And whatever it is. It could be anything. It could be a t-shirt. It could be a hat. It could be food. It could be drink. It could be anything.

And if it's there, he's like, oh. I would joke because I call him the claw, you know, like it just like this. But it's more of, I need, then it scares me obviously the addiction side. Yeah. With our experience too. So I'm just trying to also make him aware of the question, do you actually want it? Yeah. Do you want it or you just having it because you know it's there?

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? But again, take a bit more attention. Yeah. It's a very difficult time because at the same time, there's hormones thrown everywhere. And sometimes you've got to choose and pick your battles, I think. Yeah. Believe him today, I was trying to watch a TV show

because Kaysen watches normal YouTube because obviously he's a little bit outgrown kids' YouTube and he watches a lot of people playing like Super Mario game, like the PlayStation and he can see like where they go and where the rings are and like it helps them actually complete the levels or whatever the game is, I don't know. But he watches people and some of them are fine

but some of them are playing Super Mario but they're swearing as they're doing it. But he's just so watching I do genuinely think it's going over his head. So if I hear it, I'm like, turn it off, it's swearing. And he's like, oh, and then he changes it. And then I was watching one of my shows today, and he went, Mom, I've heard swear word three times, you need to turn it off.

And then I went to, and then I was like, I went, I can watch shows that swear, but you're a kid and you can't. And that's that. Yeah. It is, isn't it? You're feeling a bit like, like this. Like this. So it comes back to this example.

And that fine line and balance of it. So in your, I'm an adult. I'm allowed to watch this thing. And then like, for example, like with the question of this argument with the sugar in the tea, well, I'm not a very good example because if he actually debated it with me. Yeah. You know, well, just because you're an adult, why does it be okay that you have that? Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So it also makes me question my choices and I need to probably be a better example. like practice what I'm preaching because I'm so into them and them being positive and I am positive and happy and all that kind of thing. Yeah. But some of the stuff that I am, I need to follow my own advice a little bit. Not just for them, but for me too. Yeah, exactly.

But also, like, kids learn more from what they see, not what you preach. So you can bang on all day, be this, do this. But if you're not doing that, one, you're a hypocrite. but two, like they don't, they learn more from watching you do those things. And don't get me wrong, we have, well, generally as a family, we've definitely smashed the side of example of, show an example of being hard working, loving, you know, family orientated, respectful, you know, all of all of these things.

I think we do. A little bit in day to day, I think we do. I need to be better. A very good job of our values and our morals, but not our good habit. Like the smaller habits. aren't as serious. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's still, yeah, like, you know, if I want a snack,

I'll grab a packet of crisp, not a banana. Yeah. You know, like little things, but they still add up to a good habit. It's certainly. Or like I say, if I'm trying to talk to him and he's not paying attention because he's in his game, I'm like, hello? Yeah. But then sometimes he does it to me when I'm on my phone.

And I'm like, I need to put, you know, as soon as I know he's talking to me, put it down, yeah? And give him my attention. And, you know, so that when he does it, I can say, I'll give you my phone. attention so I expect yours. Yeah. So yeah, it's hard. It is tough. But even it's just hard work. like just parenting in general to pick up on all those little things. Yeah. And all the stages. Coffee with free sugars. That's quite excessive. But like if that's the thing that makes me happy and I need

that, I need it. But me and Liam had a conversation about the other day because Hayden is just like just not stop eating is constantly snacking. Okay, when you say eating, you mean shit. Shit. Okay. Because like the snack drawer is the snack drawer. And obviously, like, we don't fill it with the healthiest snacks. Obviously, if you only have healthy stuff in your house is the only thing you can eat.

But we don't. We have a mixture. So, like, the snack drawer is, like, accessible because it's the bottom drawer. This is why I had to move, mine. So, yeah. But then it came dangerous because they climbed. There you go. So then I just put it back.

He'd go. Kason never did. Kaysen would, like, Mason, always ask. Caden just go to the drawer. helps himself, brings it to me. And even if I'm telling you, it's difference of generations. No, no. Hayden will scream, he'll throw, he'll strut.

And me and Liam have given into him a lot lately. Because it's, is it like, because you can't bother with like the tantrums and the audience? The tantrum and the teaching, I suppose, in a way, isn't it? But it's that. It was because of his age as well. It's like, is this even a teachable moment? It's even going to understand me trying to say, like. Well, probably if.

you just emptied the draw and he learned that it wasn't there. Yeah. Do you get what I mean? Like actually him not knowing because obviously if Kaysen doesn't climb up so obviously mine were different. So I'm hiding from one,

the other one would have known and then do you go what I mean? It would have climbed and then the other one would have copied the other to climb. Yeah. And this is exactly why if you sit in my house, I have, you know, the big handle drawers. Yeah.

This is why I don't have the top and the bottom because obviously where they used to stand them, they broke. And the other ones that I do have already like that. Like, you know, like Lent, where the ones climbed up. Yeah. So that's it.

It was just easier to move it. Yeah. So I'm definitely being a bit lazy. No, no, I get that. No, no, I get it. With everything. The age, I feel like I can't have a conversation to teach him. Like, I mean no, or you can only have one. You can't have three muffins, three cakes.

It's just a lot. It's real. And I don't get me wrong. I get it. Again, you've just filled days. You've just got to pick your battles, don't you? It's a little bit like potty training as well. It's like, really, do I have the energy to start this?

Because once I start, I'm really going to follow it through sort of thing. And it's a bit like that. once I've stuck to this moment of teaching him, you know, yes or no, or whatever it is to the situation, it's, like you say, you could really be on the first day or the second day, like, yes, I'm going to the stitsies for the third day, like, oh, just have the whole cupboard, I don't even care right now. Because you, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm like, have whatever you want. Or like, do you know what, sit in your chair, there's whatever.

But I also do feel like, I know I'm going to get 20 minutes. Exactly. It's being realistic, but I also do believe that, yeah, if you did probably something, not long, long, long term because it wouldn't take long. You know what I mean? But then again, there'd be something else. There's always going to be something else anyway.

Do you know what I mean? I think you've just got to put your battles on your day. And that is literally it, to be honest. Yeah, like, obviously, like, after a second or third cake, you ain't having any more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But really, I should do one and be like, no more. I was going to say, but I know that.

We know that. We did go from the big cakes to the little ones. So, yeah, okay, you can have two. You can have to it. No more than three. We're like this as adults anyway. We do this as adults with ourselves. It was funny because we went to Gibraltar, didn't we, not long ago.

And we did like a haul from Morrison's and bits and bobs. And we started buying things for the only one thing that Mitch wants at our celebration. And, well, not all of it, but some of it. And I think he's at half of it already. And it's only because he knows it's there, a little bit like Morgan. So it's because he knows it's there. And then even he knows where it is. And even last night he went, where's the air bag?

And I was like, you know full where it is. want to ask me permission more. Yeah, yeah, exactly. For me to go, it's there or go, no, I'm not telling you. I was like, you can do what you want. Yeah. But you know what I mean? It is, we have that. It would have been easier for him for me to say to him. Yeah. No, I'm not telling you where it is. Because then that's like a, I'm not, I'm not going, I'm not going, oh, yeah, it's there. It's more of a, now it's my decision. It's more of a go. It's more of a go. I know I shouldn't, but now I actually really want to. Can I stop myself? We do do it as Yeah, but children just, obviously, younger children, even children, even adult children, whatever, we still need that guidance and a little bit.

But again, as parents, when we have, always be going on, again, we just have to pick our days. And sometimes, we really, really have to stick to it. Yeah. And follow it through because it's the best for them and us. And sometimes you just think, oh, I don't really care. Yeah. I couldn't really give shit. Yeah.

That's it. Yeah. That's how I feel, anyway. No, it's true. Mine's isn't alive and kicking. Well, I think back to like we all survives and I don't remember like our parents caring too much about were we snacking healthily and things like that. I asked my mum this morning about what did I say to her? Oh my God.

I asked her a question anyway about did I do this? I don't know. I didn't really wasn't really with it. I didn't really ask you. Like she was proper like, I don't know, I didn't really. Because kids existed. It wasn't really. But it's like we live for our kids.

And obviously I don't deny that our parents and that generation loved us. No, but I do. It's getting a little bit extreme. And they did do everything for us. But we are going to the extreme of it sometimes. Yeah. Like Liam, case of what you want for dinner? I'm like, that is a question I never got asked.

No, no. What was the thing my granddad did you say to me if I'd ask? Shit with sugar on it. What? Shit with sugar on it. Something like really like. Okay. I won't ask again.

It's going to be proper. Like, yeah, probably like, don't ask. Yeah. You'll have what you have and that's it. Absolutely. Like, there was no choice. I do it. I still ask my children and I will make five different fucking dinners.

Oh, absolutely not. That would never have happened. But then this is it. This is when you're saying peaking your days. Some days I'll do that and some days, no. No, no, no, no, no. It depends, yeah. Yeah, that's true.

Like, we, we, some days. But we didn't. There was no. No. There was no. To the point that I said to Casey and I was like, you know what Nanny used to do to me. like if I didn't eat my dinner, like either like you're not having anything or she would literally like hold my nose till my mouth opened and force me.

I think this is there I get my gag thing from. Okay. So I think this is, I'm a little bit to say. Okay. So it does help that we're not too extreme because actually my granddaughter did do this to me with green cabbage. Okay. Cooked like or whatever. I don't know if it's steamed.

I was actually making me gag. You know like proper green, boiled green. Yeah. Yeah. So it cabbage. That was the bit I just didn't. one on my roast dinner. Yeah.

And he would, because it was, I didn't really eat a lot anyway. So he wanted to, well, for me, I'd only like like, the Yorkshire pudding. Of course the fucking morning, not. Yeah. So he was, I'd be like, you've got to eat your cabbage, sort of thing. And he, I was, I'd remember crying and gagging over this. And the same thing.

Just eat it. It's really good for you. Get it down it. And I put it. Yeah. I mean, I think at the time, I went through a little bit of period of like, really not eating very much at all. I did.

So, rather than it'd be like, you know, oh, there's everything. Do you, maybe have any in just order? No. Open you out That much probably it for me Like mine My mom would be like Okay she's a bit bussy

My grandma in my Wachin at my table Yeah Sort of thing you know And it was like If you don't eat you didn't You don't get off the table Yeah

Like it was Yeah No bullshit Yeah Like But saying that Just quickly before we finish Because yeah

I feel like This could go on forever I feel like this pod Actually could go on forever Earlier We were listening to a radio section And it was only like a

I think it's blue Make you want to call you In the middle of the night Make you on a until the morning, like, make you want to look. And there's a bit in it that's like, basically want to make sweet, sweet love, or whatever it says in it. And I used to pelt that to the top of my voice at whatever, or anywhere it came out,

how old I would have been. Yeah. I want to make sweet, like, literally, like singing it like this and no question. Yeah, I get the old with the kids, obviously, when they're singing certain things. Like, no, no, no, come on, let's turn this off now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then was that because? They wasn't making a thing out of it.

Could be. Does that make that about kids swearing, don't they? Like, if you make a big thing out of it, then they're going to like, you know, it's naughty and, uh. And if you don't, then usually the kids don't care. Yeah. I saw a song the other day and I was like, like, like what, the song we thought was so cool.

And, oh, what was it? I was at this real wild party. Yeah, liquor in the cup. Yeah. What is it? Tick one girl outside with me, hen it was lulletlet. She went to have a bee said, why are there's a death for cash,

a whole other saying to see that last, or what you do, someone's at home crying alone on the bed, you'll fuck, because he's hungry, and the only way to feed him is sleeping in a minute for a little bit of money. How sad.

Oh, crap now, in a lot, that now. In a lot of lockdown, I got a job now. So for you, this is just a good sign, but for me, this is what I call that. How sad is that song? Yeah, we still sing it like, we're actually in their life. You sing it like, yeah, it's like funny. So this is another thing, isn't it?

Is it, is it, again, I don't know, is it because there wasn't a big thing out of it that we just, we were just using it as music that we liked? Yeah. Does that make sense? No matter what age when I was. Did our parents know we were listening to that song? Don't, we, I did performances,

thinking two become one, a lot of the time. I had no idea until literally like a year ago. This is what I mean, is it just was weird oblivious kids that was just the music to worse. And maybe they was having a giggle in the background. I think we didn't really know.

Yeah. But they certainly didn't tell me to turn it off. They brought with the album. They didn't give me in the albums. They came with words. Yeah. You know, so it wasn't. I think we're just in an age where we're overthinking.

We're overthinking everything and everything is offensive. Yeah, I agree. I do agree. So I don't want to completely parent my kids like that. I want to do a little bit different to my mum and dad, but I definitely don't want to go too far away. Because I feel like we ended up all right. I completely agree that. For example, let's say our parents, parent and say whatever was there.

And I know we're in a different world right now. So it is different and I do get that. And I do think sometimes that's worse. You know what I mean for what we've got? But it should be better. But say that's theirs and we're here now, like as in this parenting and parents. I feel like I would just like to be here.

Yeah. Like, you know, it's true. And I actually would probably be here. I will ask you like how you feeling and are you all right. And I'm genuinely like want to know. But at the same time like, yeah. If I say it's bedtime, it's bedtime. Yeah.

And sometimes I will just tell you to get a grip not. like get a whole like session on it. Sometimes things need it and sometimes you just need to like come on. Yeah because it is like don't tell kids that like to man up or stop crying but sometimes like really? Telling them a prick. I've said this before.

Do you remember? It's true. It's true. Sometimes you have to tell your kids they're a prick. Yeah. And sometimes you have to obviously not. At the moment like saying it doesn't happen to me too much. Obviously you can't call your breath.

Imagine how you don't go just inertia with a new word. Oh, God, yeah, he would as well. He dobed me in. That's another one for another day, actually, kids and swearing, you know, like as you're growing up and they obviously start saying. Oh, just love these conversations. Could go on all day. We'll park it there. We should go because we left the fathers on Spanish Father's Day.

Oh, yeah, Father's Day with all the kids. So, yeah, they're probably starving for their chicken stabbat. Well, we dig out all our kids. Yeah. And dig out them for not having a bisectomy. So we're going to go back and be perfect wives now. and get your answers in about the vasectomies. I'd love to hear that.

And parenting, generally, we've all, literally, most of us have either been through it, going through it, or obviously think about it. So, yeah, definitely love to hear your opinions or experiences.

Yeah. Have you ever been told you hated by your child? Yeah. That, I don't know how I'll handle that, to be honest. So I'm glad you go through it before me and I can just learn for you. I haven't done a girl yet. That is going to come.

Oh, God. Clearly another world. Oh, dear. I'd like advice. Right, well, happy Farthest Day. Might be made. Yeah, Felicio de la Papa. Yeah, happy Spanish Father's Day.

And we will see you next week. You will do. Adios.