The Rising’s Growing Together Podcast - They’re Not Teaching This… And It’s Hurting Our Kids

Episode Date: March 27, 2026

Is the education system actually preparing our kids for real life?In this episode of Growing Together, we dive into a real and honest conversation about school, pressure on children, and whether the current system is still fit for purpose.From exam stress and grades to life skills, emotional development, and confidence we question what really matters when raising kids in today’s world.Are we focusing too much on results… and not enough on real-life skills?This episode covers:– The pressure children face in school today– Why grades don’t define success– What schools AREN’T teaching (but should be)– Emotional resilience and confidence in kids– Parenting approaches to education– Real-life skills vs academic successIf you’re a parent, or just someone questioning the system this conversation will make you think.🎙️ New episodes every week

Hello. Hey. Hello. That sounds very, um... Hello, dear. Mrs. Doutfire. Hello. That was a really good example.

I was trying not to do the same. Hi, guys. I just come out like Mrs. Dapier. Hey, hey. That is a film. That is a film. That is a very... I think I watched that not long ago, actually.

Oh, I don't watch films. Yeah. And again, I don't watch films. What's a borrower was yesterday. Did you? Yeah. Oh, that is a good one. Which was really weird, because you know,

when you think of the kids and you think of, you know, what they haven't watched. watch. She kind of, not presume, but oh, yeah, well, they have, oh my God, you haven't watched that? Yeah, I don't think. I didn't watch it with the kids, but I did think the kids, I haven't been this. Oh, no, I love, like, just rushing out of classic every now and then.

They are classics, yeah. Yeah, so, boroughs, yeah, Mrs. Delfare. What's, hello? I can't even do it. What am I doing? I don't know what accent is. She does speak a little bit Scottishy, doesn't she is that, isn't it? It is a British actor.

I think I'm doing Irish, but you're not. I don't know. I don't know. Scottish. Irish, English, British rule for them. But yeah, it's very posh. I remember that. Anyway, hello.

Way off on a tangent. Yeah. We're here, we're back. Yeah. It's the weekend. Yeah, not long. A week away from the Hendo. Yeah.

This will actually air when the weekend of the Hendo and we're having all our antics out in Butlins. I know. I was just saying how today's just a bit grey and how I'm definitely a weather girl and it does actually affect me more than I think it does. I mean, it doesn't help that at the same. So I did have headaches and I thought, the weather.

I think now experiencing that with you on the headache because you get that too, which I never used to get. Yeah, just before I come on, I get a bad headache. So I'm questioning, is it that? Is it the weather? Because I'm a bit like that with the weather when there's pressure in the air. I used to always laugh when people are like, when you got a headache.

It's the weather. And I was like, how? I used to do it to my mom. I used to, yeah. It actually, I think it's so awesome. I just feel like it really does. I just feel like, I don't let it like really get me down, but I can just really feel like a bit when the weather's,

you know what I mean? I think that's a lot of people, to be honest, you know? Well, yeah, like the minute, like even a little bit of sun comes out, like, you know, by the morning, I've done washing, the house, clean, have tidied up, I've potted around, I've got dressed, but when the weather's there, it's, like, I only got dressed out of my pyjamas to film this. I thought I'd have to come and get my child. Yeah, it is. It is definitely.

I think it is all of us. But yeah, it just makes you feel like you need to put a little bit more of an effort. Yeah. Instead of the sunshine, just giving you that little bit of an infinite. Yeah. Definitely. Sometimes it's nice to have a day like that and then just be indoors. It is.

It helps. It helps to it. Because when you want to, when you feel like that anywhere without, like, the weather, and it's really sunny. It's really not helping me. You want to feel. Yeah, I'm feeling guilty now for having a shit day. I feel like I should be out.

Yeah, but when the weather's crap, it's like, oh, I can enjoy this too day. Yeah, it does help. It does help. So, yeah, so, yeah, a bit grey on shit outside, but we've got Easter coming up, looking forward to that. Obviously, my hen, that's going to be exciting. Mm-hmm, I think. You don't know what's going on. And just talking about Easter, obviously, for me, anyway, is the end of a term. And, you know, for the kids' school results and things.

things like that. Yeah. You're not so much there, or you don't even know? Well, you said it and then I was like, oh, I just assumed that they did it at the end of the year. And Kaysen's obviously still only seven. So I remember once I saw, because they used to print it and send it home. And this was when in his first few years of it until. And it was literally complete or uncomplete.

That was like the whole thing. And it was just a list of things that they are either working on or that the kids should be doing. whether they've completed it or not. Yeah. So then I think it went digital. I never had the proper login. So I'm on Telegram. I'm in a WhatsApp.

I've done what I thought was all of it. But there's this whole other web familiar crap that has a whole different password and login and their student number, which I think I saw once when I enrolled Kaysen in school four, five years ago. Yeah. So God knows how to log into that.

And I assume he's probably got four or five years worth of grades in there, but I've never logged on. Never seen it. And I don't know at his age if it is probably, proper grades or and they've actually like wrote comments or whether it's just complete or incomplete and his teachers never pulled me in. Yeah, which is very generalised. But I have literally not even bothered to look at any of that. Yeah. Well, this is, this is it. So this is why I think I asked you because. Yeah. And that's why I was like, but we've got to have to

talk about this because of how different, you know, like household and, and, and, um, how to say, like emotions can be in households, you know what I mean? Because I'm not, this is my point, okay? So I'm not saying it's not important because I genuinely believe it is so important. I just feel at the moment, especially now, there is so much pressure on younger children as well, more so, for this kind of result and high result. And I think for me, for this time, of why it kind of flared up me wanting to

was because with one of mine starting secondary school and normal, the first term, was difficult because it was change and it was new and da-da-da-da. And it had nothing to do with actually him understanding anything. It was just more that he was going through that change. So that did affect his results in the first term. Now coming into the second term, he's absolutely smashed it. It's just like the results he ever had, you know, in primiscerally. And this was it.

And now some of the grades have, say, for example, on a result of exam was like 5.5, yeah. And say the comment next to it was he's reached the minimum criteria for this subject. That's it. Okay. Which that's obvious. But my more thing to him was, I am so proud of you with the improved. movement from that term to that term. That's what I'm going to acknowledge.

Yeah. Okay. His point was, yeah, that they've got to motivate me. I completely agree with that. I completely agree with that. But again, what I try and say with my children, and it's not a case of kind of accepting, because you've always got to push to do better.

Yeah. But for me, especially in this system, this education system, because in my opinion, I just don't get it. I just feel that it's very old school. It doesn't make sense to me. I don't feel like it sets them up for their life at all. The school system was created, I think, you know, however many decades ago, specifically to build workforce.

Yes, in this, in that way. In like factories and the industrial revolution and stuff. It was not to provoke thinking and problem solving and those kind of things. When the results were coming through it, my more point was, but you passed. you passed. I was like, so when you go for, I don't know, a job or whatever it is, they don't ask you

what your actual school was. All they know is have you passed or not passed generally. That's the general thing of it. Do you know what I mean? So that was my first thing because yeah, some of my kids, but not so much. I've just seen it more in other families

of how worked up like kids can get Oh yeah, well bother me. And whether that, and you could have a really relaxed parent, or obviously not. Yeah, but that's probably similar to me. Like, my mum never sat me down and made me do my homework, never reviewed things and said, that's not good enough you need to make it better. I did that to myself. Yeah, exactly.

I had no idea why or how, because I was like it from a young age. But just getting so... But I would be extremely stressed and really cared about my grades and the numbers. And it would really bother me if I got like a 6.9. Yeah. that was like, to me, was like, fucking shit. Yeah.

Like, and even sevens, like I wanted eight, nine as, you know, as hard you can get. And it's not a bad thing. This is what I'm, this is so,

me trying to explain. I think, to let it want to better yourself, but it's really not a good thing. But how much I let it bother me at that age when it, like say, it's not going to really matter in five years time. Like,

I did hear a thing that was quite good. Like, if it's, if it's not going to matter in five years, then don't spend more than five minutes worried about it. Yeah, exactly that. And it, feels like as a kid this is my future and it does feel like every kind of term and every year

is like is going to affect the be all and end all yeah it's going to really affect how successful I'm going to be but we all know now that it doesn't but they do kind of make it sound like that yes and yeah I think you should absolutely do your best and push yourself um but like some things the anxiety I would let it give me like it just wasn't worth it's more of how younger it's getting. Yeah. Because I've been in positions where I've just been studying an exams and be like, I can't do this, this is horrible, do you know what I mean?

Yeah. It's just the worst thing ever, I can't do it. I'm giving it. And it is a great feeling when you go through that and you push and you actually do do well. And you feel good to go through those experiences of emotions as well. Yeah. I'm not saying it's not, but I just feel that it's just getting younger. Yeah.

And I don't think that's a good experience to go through so young. In actual fact, I think it could cause like a true. trauma. Yeah. You know, like a trigger of like... I think if it needs to build up slowly, like, because you can't just go into it in like secondary school and know how to deal with all of that in a very good way

if it's like the first time you're ever having to do it. So it, I guess, yeah, as you are a bit younger, but it shouldn't be to that level. It should be building up a little bit more, a little bit more so that you are building resilience and, you know, emotional maturity and being able to deal with those feelings. And deal with pressure too. And deal with pressure so that,

when you are a teenager and things are like bigger states that you can deal with it. But it shouldn't just be that same level of pressure you do earlier. It should be a smaller amount of pressure and then you tick it and you build up that like, you know, that skill. Yeah. I just feel at that compared to obviously with my age groups, you know what I mean? At the moment, I'm just like, I'm so more focused on. I don't want you not to be bothered and not care.

It's fine, isn't it? Yeah. It's like you can't tell him. Don't care about it. about it because you don't want to give up and not care. And then there's another side of me where when they're asking me like what I was even this for, I can't even answer it because I just think I don't even know. Yeah.

I don't really understand why you're learning it to be honest with you because I think I don't feel like a lot of it is going to help you. So I do believe in education is really important and that's not what I'm saying. I just feel like a lot of the subjects or the content of those subjects now are just like, what? A lot of it hasn't changed. You can change so much of it and just make it the best thing and create and educate these children on so much more in with the simpler things. Yeah. You know, like real life. Simper. Like I've said it before. Lexi always goes on about me to me. I don't, I want to be homeschooled. She just gives me examples and I make her right in what she says to me to be honest. Like if she's, you know, doing the flowers or growing, wants to grow vegetables or learning how to cook or sew or. or clean properly using the right things to clean that's not chemical and, you know, all this stuff

and food and how to wash it. Yeah, emotions. Yes, all of these things. So, like, that, and I get what I do really get what she's saying. And then obviously, how old it, you know, your finances even being young, you know, we try and teach them as parents in the shop, you change and checking it and learning what you buy in and, you know, money management and all these things.

And I just don't feel like it's put in the system. so well, you know, that it actually helps. Well, I think society, everything has changed so much with the internet, AI and all of this. And not just in recent years, but like, you know, we've had social media since we were like 16. That was like 20 years ago. So in the last 20 years, school hasn't really changed. Yeah. Well, it hasn't really changed for probably 50, 60 years.

Yeah. Whereas like, it really should. And I know some schools have adopted certain things and doing little bits, but the actual core curriculum hasn't really changed. And I feel like the ones that were good and more beneficial have fizzled out, like really pushing like woodwork and technology and cookery classes and finance. I don't know, my mum sent it to something the other day about what she used to do in a class. It was basically to do with finances and things like that.

But it was all the things that require skills and like, a proper classroom or materials, all of that got scrapped and anything that a teacher can just stand in front of you and teach you stayed. But it just wasn't real. And yeah, it's... Life.

It's a shame because I've... Yeah, I agree. I think it really doesn't... I know I could see it. So annoying. Yeah, so I agree. I think the school curriculum definitely needs to improve. We should absolutely be learning

these basic skills that can help us in our day-to-day lives as well as mentally push us and challenge us. And I think to a degree, a lot of what we learn at school isn't really relevant anymore or doesn't help. But at the same time, just by picking up a topic, learning it, you know, memorising it, thinking about it. Like, it builds other skills you don't realize. It's not the actual topic. It's just like the social experience of that too. You know what I mean? Like, I push a lot like, I say you to school to be your friends. I think it's school to be your friends. Yeah. And again, I'll go away.

I really do believe education is important and I do. I really, really do. It's just, you know, when some occasions come up at home in certain homeworks and, you know, your children ask you a question and I think, I don't know, to be honest, babe, like, I know, mate, you're right in what you're saying. Like, it's really hard, but you can't, you know what I mean? It is a difficult, difficult thing. I saw a school that has started in America and their aim in however many years is for it to be

like global, but it's basically we've completely shook up the entire curriculum They do a really small, a couple of hours a day of like your basics to give you like a good sense of like being an intelligent adult like yeah, your English, your sciences and stuff. But they've, they deliver it in a way that you don't have to spend hours a day learning it. You can literally do, you know, half an hour blocks and it accomplishes the same thing. So they've really reduced like the basic school part down to a couple of hours a day. The rest is personal projects. So again, whatever you're into, whatever your skills are,

and it's like really getting kids to push and focus the majority of the day in stuff they enjoy doing, but also what their talents are and what could actually end up being a career. So it is the best of both. But it's not just all that's after school in the space of an out. It's flipped the other way around. Let's squeeze the basics of school into the small amount of time as possible and using science and things of how quickly, can we teach the people that in the most effective, short and easiest way,

not just standard, you know, school teaching plans, but like actually using how our brains process and what we know about education and really, yeah, effective ways of delivering it quickly. And then let's spend the majority of the day letting kids go and do things that they're really buzzing about. And I do. I do think that would million percent be more effective. I think I don't know if I'd mentioned earlier before.

I did see something in the news. there was a dad who'd built his school, this was in the UK, in the back of his garden, took some of the favourite teachers that the kids had to work there. And again, they still do these things, but it's done in a different way. And then they implemented different subjects that he believes that help them be better people. And I think, I don't think the dad himself, I don't think he finished school or I don't think he did very well at school. Yeah, he's a multi-millionaire, successful business man. I don't know what he does, but do you get what I mean?

It's like one of them and he's, you know, thinking a little bit. Well, I think the founder of this school had a similar story where he's like a big, you know, in the 80s, 90s tech guy, like sold multiple companies for billions. So he's invested a lot of money and as well as other investors in setting up this. It's like a university campus for like kids, but, you know, to do all their things and have like top of the range, know, stage if they were into that, you know, they have all what they need to do, you know, the wood workshops and things, all of that. But I think it might have been to do with his daughter or something like that or there's a story linked to it. But yeah, he's spent, obviously,

made loads of money and now he's like, yeah, completely flipping it around. Yeah, I do. I think it's good that people are, that people can do something about it, because, I mean, I know it still comes down to the, you know, money side of it, and I generally, everybody should be the same. Yeah. Yeah. Who knows, it might change when we're long gone. But my, I'm just saying that it's just something that came up at home, you know, with the grades and everything. Yeah, because I hear people saying as well, like, oh, I pay my kids for their grades too. So for every, you know, obviously we don't do A, Bs and Cs here, we do numbers. But yeah, like for top grades, you get like 50 quid, 20 quid, whatever.

And then so that kids are more inclined to push for their grades. But again, I don't know. Half of me is like, yeah, but then you don't want to stress too much, like we said. And I think one thing that I quite like when I've read stuff about parenting is you don't praise the result. You praise the effort put into it. So that's always in the back of my minds when like I hear, you know, because Kaysen is smart. He always gets told he's smart. And I'm like, yeah, you're not just smart though.

Like you're kind, you're this or that. And I'm very conscious because I was always told I'm sorry. smart and I do have an issue with if I don't get the top in something. So it's kind of like correcting that a little bit and also like, oh, you know, you work really hard in that. You're proud of yourself. I think, I think as a parent, you know your child and how to go best with them. Some kids need to kick up your eyes.

Yeah, or you might have to try a few different things. Like let's say you did that with your child and you did see that actually it's putting a lot of pressure on them. But this isn't healthy. Let's change. Let's do something else. And sometimes that is the case. I mean. I think, yeah, I think it depends on your own child and their personality and how

genuinely they are. But, but yeah, I just think that was just something that had come up and I'd ask you and you're like, I don't know, I probably should figure out this word familiar shit and sign in and see it's probably, you know, I assume they would have called me into the score at this point if there was anything worth being concerned about and he is seven. So, but no, yeah, I think getting into, and I've read actually today, someone was talking about their homeschooling and they said like up until the age of about seven to eight it is more about learning through playing and it's not the thing but there's a huge developmental shift around seven and eight so that's when like their homeschooling like curriculum they change it a little bit. So yeah we are getting into that kind of important stage of school where they need to take it a bit more seriously and they need to learn.

Yeah. And experience all that that goes with that. You know, whether that's, you know, being nervous or, you know, whatever that is. And okay with being shit in some subjects. Like, you know, if I'd have been a parent 10, 15 years ago, then I probably would have not understood that as much. And I would have been pushing my kids to be good at all of it. And right, well, you can do better in that subject.

You need to lift up. You need to be good at all of it. Whereas now, I think because we've changed so much, because the world's so different, because you do financially earn based on your expertise, not as being an all-rounder. Like, you can be crap in one or two subjects. Don't worry about it.

And I just think a little bit more realisation that, you know, nowadays, well, that every child's not the same. We're not, like, we get this education, was built to kind of, you know, you know. Funnel employee. Exactly, but it's not, this isn't everyone. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, definitely. That's just something that came up. So I thought I'd share it when you, when your reaction was actually, I'm quite big of that's true. Yeah. Well, yeah, you think it'd be the way around. Yeah.

So, like, how much I've spent on education and how far and doing masters and stuff I've took it. You think I'd be a bit more on it. I think I will be soon. Yeah. But this is it, so I'm saying. So I just, this is my more point. I think my point of this conversation was,

I just, for personally, I just feel like literally the pressure, like they can't even breathe, like these little poor kids at the minute. Do you know what I mean? I just think, I'm not saying they don't need, need it, because these sometimes pressure is, you're just think just lift off my bit, that kids, let me kids, you know? Let me kids be kids. Yeah, and you're right. Like you say, there needs to be a bit of pressure. They need to, as their

kids, like, find a challenge, get over it, build that confidence, that resilience, go through being shit stuff. Yeah. Because that does build them up. Yeah. Because, yeah, you, they need to have a bit of grit. They need to know that the world's not perfect. They need to have a bit of, like, what we've said, like, we have in our generation. We don't want the kids to have zero pressure. but yeah put it off a little bit let the kids just enjoy being kids. And you're just saying about that change, the different change of that education between the ages. Obviously me having a near a teenager now,

it is that fine line. I don't want all we talk about is have you done this, if you done that, do you know what I mean? Have you got a study? Have you got home? I don't want all that conversation, the only conversation to be that.

But it is important too because it's a very thing that I just want you in and out. I want you in and out and then you can focus on what you are. You know what I mean? On you in that respect. You'll find learn it along the way. Yeah. But, well, I even heard the other day that we need to stop asking kids what they want to be when they're older. Because again, that puts a lot of pressure on them to have, know what it is anyway.

And also it kind of builds a bit of identity of like, well, that's what I want to be. And a lot of kids are picking it without really knowing. Yeah. Decides that they don't want to be, but maybe have told people for a couple of years and then kind of making decisions because, They thought that's the way they wanted to go. And then it's very hard to come away from that when things change later. Imagine if Morgan for six, seven years was like, I want to be a plumber. And then he's getting to the age of school now where, you know, you're making them decisions. But actually he decides when he's, you know, 18 after all that, I don't want to be a plumber.

Exactly. Like a lot of people don't stop when they've invested a little bit of time and effort. But I also feel like that's also because we've took back. away from children having work experience from a younger age. They don't get to do it as young as they used to. Do you know what I mean? They don't get that opportunity anymore. It's literally like you go to nursery, you go to primary school,

you go to junior school, you go to secondary school, you go to college, you go to university, then you start a career. But you've had no fucking experience of actually what are you studying. Yeah. So that by, like you said, by the end of your games, do I actually enjoy this job? Yeah, and when I did my master's, I, like you say,

I've had a job since I was 13. regardless of whatever stage of my life I've been in, like, with education. From the age of 13, I've had a job. But when I did my master's, and at that point I'd finished uni, I'd worked probably three, four years, and then I did my master, so I had a bit of a gap. In the room with me was everyone who went straight from university, finished their degree and went straight into their master's.

They were a couple of years younger than me. But not one of them had had a job, and there was a room of 10, 12 of us, they might have had the odd little job, but generally they are going through education because while you're studying, my parents support me. So they'll pay for me to stay at home. They'll pay for me to have a car and do all these things

because we did do it, and I've heard it, like, oh, while you're, you know, in my reach, you're even working or you study. And a lot of people have pushed the kids to study because that's what, you know, we were told years ago, as long as you work hard, study hard, you'll get a good job, which isn't 100% the case now, but it was.

and yeah these kids were just going through the motions but had no experience actually like sitting interviews going through like work politics and getting on with different people's personalities like yeah it's a big thing so I think that that that doesn't help you know what I mean I think

it's not easy to hire kids anymore is it like we no that's what I mean you know they are the ages you flip through jobs and, you know, whether it is because you're just trying to earn a little bit of money here and there. But sometimes you fall into something, but actually I really like it. I'd love to excel in it. Because obviously when you're doing all these little jobs, whatever they are, you're obviously starting on the lower tier of where you are in that job. And if you did actually enjoy it, you can see that, that road that you could make. You know, it just makes that difference,

I think. Yeah. I really do think that's a different.