The Rising’s Growing Together Podcast - We Had to Unlearn Everything: Success, Money & Life Lessons That Changed Us @TheRising1111 Ep. 2

Episode Date: May 12, 2025

In this thought-provoking episode of Growing Together, Billie and Charlotte reflect on the powerful influence of childhood beliefs and how they’ve had to unlearn outdated views about success, money, and family. They open up about how their experiences shaped their mindset and share the lessons they’ve learned along the way. From rethinking success, to questioning traditional views on work and money, this conversation is packed with insights that challenge old beliefs and encourage a shift towards more meaningful, impactful living. Plus, the girls dive into why creating lasting family memories is more important than material achievements. What’s Inside This Episode: • How family influences our mindset about success and work • Unlearning outdated beliefs around money, success, and religion • The shift from trading time for money to valuing impact and contribution • Redefining success: Is happiness the real goal? • Why creating lasting family memories matters more than material wealth New episodes every Friday! Hosted by Billie & Charlotte best friends, ambitious mums, and career women, navigating life’s lessons together. Follow us: www.linktr.ee/therising1111 #successmindset #UnlearningBeliefs #personalgrowthpodcast #familymemories #moneymindset #worklifebalance #growingtogetherpodcast #impactoverincome #HappinessIsTheGoal #lifelessons

Welcome to Growing Together, the podcast where ambition meets authenticity. Join us, Charlotte and Billy, two best friends with 20 years of history as we navigate motherhood, business and everything in between. From the daily chaos to balancing work and family to the challenges and milestones that shape our lives. We're here to share it all, unfiltered and straight from the heart. So grab a cup of get comfortable and get ready for real conversations, relatable stories and a whole lot of laughter. Because life's not about having it all figured out. It's about growing together. Let's dive in. Cool. Welcome back.

Hi. Episode two. Let's go. So I thought we'd continue on with getting to know us. Yeah. So we give everyone a little bit of a backstory, kind of what led us to be in Spain, how we met. So I've got some questions that should lead us to some more answers about childhood and how we got on and things like that. Okay. So first one for you. Let's go. I feel nervous

It's like an interview It's only about myself I don't know any of yourself I could have these questions on a nice little A little iPad but I like pen and paper You do We do like a pen and paper Don't know

You're a list girl On a paper girl Might be married to a tech guy But on a paper girl I'm the same My diary's favourite But Okay

So how would you describe yourself As a kid? Oh Kid I mean I might describe myself Different to what my mum My dad And my brother may have

Probably but how would you describe yourself? I'd say I was energetic, fun, positive. I probably had a few strokes, a few. No doubt. Were you the youngest? But yeah, I am the youngest, so yeah. Tried to get my own way.

I knew that much. Loved my hobbies, so dance, horse riding. That was a really big part of my life when I was younger and having my parents helped me with that. so yeah that was that was that side but yeah that's that was me as a kid fun bubbly up for anything always playing out yeah um I mean I think that was our generation to be honest with you but yeah yeah if I was always playing out yeah always out doing stuff wanted to be involved in everything loved my do dance shows to any friend or family member

that would be forced to watch over and over I used to do that as well. We used to, like, if we were at my nan and granddads, this is when we used to go on holiday to Spain before we got dragged over there. But yeah, like my mum and dad would be my nan and granddad and they'd be, obviously, we'd have dinner, barbecues, whatever, and they'd be drinking and stuff.

And then me, Conor and Rick would go and then I'd do this whole big show thing and then it would take us hours, then we'd perform it at the end. Yeah. But you were saying, the only one who would actually really, really, go on, go on, my babe, you'd do it again was my nan. Everyone shush.

If everyone, anyone blinked, breathe, anything. doing it again, I'm fine again. Number one fact. But yeah, that's me describing me as a kid, I think I would say. Sure the people might say different. Yeah, now I'd say that could probably sum you up. Obviously, more so when you was younger. But, yeah.

Yeah, I think I see a lot of me and my daughter, Lexley. Isn't it funny how kids can be so much like us, but they didn't know us at that age? Yeah, I think. I can see a lot of me in any way. Or I hope that's who I think I was like. She is who I can picture how you. Yeah, I think.

Like she's confident, she's sassy, she knows what she wants, she sticks up for herself. She may have been a little bit more confident than me, I think. Or she is a little bit more, I think. And she's the youngest as well. Yeah. With brothers. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's how I describe myself, I'd say. So as he calls a nasty little girl. She just doesn't go to a teenager, maybe. I'm joking. I remember those three teenage years, but what was I like? So I think I was a bit similar, but I'd say I was, it's weird because I'd describe myself a bit bipolar, not in the sense of like up and down, but like, probably more split personality. I was very confident.

I wanted to be on stage. I wanted to be the main part. And I liked drama, dance and all those things as well. but then the other side of me was very like would doubt myself would be unsure would be a bit introverted so like I yeah I have both sides you want to do it you really want to do it but sometimes you just couldn't do it yeah and I always force myself to do things to be honest I think I've always been good at that to be fair and I've continued to do that even now whenever I'm uncomfortable I just go for it anyway so a lot of the time yeah kind of got that like composure

and go and even though I'm super uncomfortable I still do think and you can't really tell a lot of the time people sometimes can not misunderstand me but think maybe I'm more confident than I am or anything like that but I definitely had that as a kid but then I think my kind of overthinking and you know doubt and like wanting to do really well has what drove me to do work

by like having that like uncertainty and like not ever wanting to do anything wrong or not be good at anything. I was very competitive. Like you say, same as you, loved hobbies. I was always doing something. I did kind of flip-flop into like every different hobby you can think of. I'd stuck at gymnastics for a while. Dance a little bit.

More so did that when kind of we met more. Yeah. Like the performances at school and stuff. But as a kid, yeah, gymnastics. Yeah, I did do like hip-hop classes and stuff. I did a lot of classes following my brother thinking that's what I wanted to do like karate, I want to do karate

to be fair karate and stuff I did for a long time and I kind of went through that quite quickly I was always doing like when they do like demonstrations and stuff because I was the smallest I was the one that everyone would like throw and I just remember having like bruised ribs all the time I think that's probably why I quit but I like I like to feel like strong

but yeah I did all the different sports I did hockey I did football I did netball, like, yeah, sports every day of the week as well. So very sporty growing up. But yeah, very competitive. Well, I was the oldest. I feel like I was always responsible, always did well, always tried to do well. Like you say, you've more like you had that responsibility

because you just to give that example. Yeah, I think so. And you tried to. Yeah. Even without realising. I don't think you realize it as a kid. Everyone always goes, oh, yeah, you're the oldest. they're looking up to you but I didn't feel that pressure but I obviously did have well I

wouldn't know because I was the only year yeah yeah so I think quite similar to my mum because my mum was the oldest of six as well so I feel like we're quite similar in that way like very thoughtful and stuff yes well um but yeah sporty fun outgoing um but yeah also things that I think I had to overcome and push myself through. Yeah. I think I was, yeah, probably like that, a bit too young, like overthinking things and stuff like that. I think that normally, you get that when you're older.

Yeah, see, I like you say, I didn't have any of that. I just did my own thing, did one, I thought everyone was there waiting for me to pick me up, drop me off, answer to this, answer to that. Yeah, I was, yeah, completely great childhood. Yeah, no. Despite myself as a child. Yeah.

Yeah, I didn't think like that. I didn't think that I had anyone to worry about or not worry about, but, you know, like at all subconsciously or not. Yeah, and it's a bad thing. I don't remember, like I say, I don't feel like the pressure came from anywhere. Like even like doing well in school, like exams or things like that, I definitely put a lot of pressure on myself to do well and like, not that my mom didn't care, but she never made out like, oh, you've got to do well.

She always wanted us to do well, but I wouldn't like... Yeah, she's quite a child parent if it comes to things like... Yeah, and especially like even trying to pick what subjects to go to do at college. She remember getting in a right stage and she was like, what, what are you doing that for? So, yeah, I never had the pressure to do well, but I don't know where that really comes from. It's important, but it's not worth... Yeah, yeah, yeah. But even from a young kid, like, wanting to, you know, finish first place, wanting to do the best,

wanting to have, even just have all the answers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've always just wanted to... be the best. I've had that drive since I was a little but I don't know where it comes from. It's not a bad trait. No, I think it's part of what makes me successful but I think but you know that the thing you've the knock on effect of that is having that and feeling is having a little bit of that yeah exactly and I feel like I've got better at that as I've got older for sure. I think we all do in certain things whether it's yeah heronthood work yeah whatever do you know what I mean in the house. It's okay. So that's

was us as kids um how do your family influence your view your view on work success and relationships oh to have they shaped how you think about it do you think um support me in anything that sums up yeah we're quite honest with you literally support me in anything um yeah going on my my parents i'd say they'd give it to me they'd probably give me the same advice in very different ways. Okay. You know, my dad is very calm and goes over everything. And my mum's very straight to the point and da-da-da, which the combined thing is quite

good to be fair, which really sums up my personality in a way. And the same going on, whether it was back then, whether it was my grandparents or my siblings or my cousins or my aunties, and uncles, whoever, whoever was, you know, whatever it was for, whatever, whether it was, I don't know, a dance show or a, you know, a, whatever, you know, work, having children, you know, relationships. Yeah. Yeah, they would always, they'd give advice and opinion. Mm-hmm.

But always support no matter what. Yeah. Always have my back no matter what. Yeah. I never judge if that makes sense. Yeah. But going forward, my own family at home are the same, my partner and my children, we're all very supportive of each other.

We can give an opinion. Yeah. or advice on how we feel about whatever. Yeah. But any, any, generally, I've got you back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's quite a straight answer. I think that's quite an easy answer for me. I've never in doubt that, from my parents to my second cousins. Do you know what I mean? Literally, we've all got, yeah, we've all got each other, definitely. Cool about you. Yeah, I'd say, mom and dad are definitely. massive influences out of everybody.

I was really close with my Nana Granddad growing up. I spent, because obviously my, one of my aunties and uncle were only a couple of years different. So we kind of grew up together. So I'd spend a lot of time there.

And yeah, they would have influenced me for sure. But I'd say the biggest would be my mom and dad. Yeah, like I say, always supportive. Very, I feel like we've always had a good, close relationship. I've always been able to have conversations, probably more so than some of my friends with their parents. Me. Yeah, true.

You and Sean have kind of both said that that you like the relationship that I've got with my mum. Although I'm a lot close to my mum now. I'd say you bide heads as teenagers, but that was, well, more me because I know I was, but yeah. So, yeah, like I say, always advice. sometimes, sometimes too much advice. Yeah.

But not too much advice. I think because she's just, she just doesn't want us to ever go through any hard times. So it's like if she can foresee stuff and she's pretty good at foreseeing things that are going to happen and how they're going to roll out. And she'll literally say it as it comes too well, won't she? Obviously, growing up, sometimes you don't have that vision

or you don't see how things are going to play out. So it must be really hard. Now I'm, now my mom, I get it. You do understand things. You understand it. I remember, I think we say this every time we talk about anything. But I remember the one advice your mom gave me when I had my first so young is that it's not now you've got a worry. Yeah.

It's when they're older. And I really didn't get it at the time. So I thought, how you've got this baby? You think the baby stage is hard. It's, she was right. Yeah. She was definitely right. And although I'm only one.

Yeah. Cut to that one. You're not even there yet, do you know what I mean? But it does make, it's starting to make. makes sense completely. Yeah definitely. I'll never forget that advice. When when you've got little kids like you worry a lot and you think a lot but actually they're just happy they just love you they just you know they don't need for much or want much. They don't have any emotional upset or anything but as kids get bigger then it's like bullies it's struggling at school it's relationship

like I can't. It's their own making their own decisions and letting them yeah letting them go I hate that thing but you know he's letting them well that's what I think you know my mom probably struggled a little bit with is like letting us make our own mistakes you didn't want us to make our own mistakes which i totally get because if you can stop someone going through something especially if it's tough yeah um and it's hard to see that but sometimes you just have to do it and obviously yeah i take her word a lot i think i like sound bored off her a lot so i think i ignored a lot my advice that was given to me i just didn't didn't even probably listen to it i'm sure i was given loads, but I need best.

Yeah, seriously. And you're younger for sure. We were very headstrong. Yeah. Like, yeah. Yeah. But no, I think, and obviously, growing up, my granddad was very, like, entrepreneurial, always was doing something. And then, again, she's been quite similar, always kind of worked for herself and stuff.

So I think she really drilled into us, you know, do well at school so that you can get a stable job. I think she, because she had very, not. unstable but like obviously whenever you work for yourself you know what it's like now like money's never predictable so that must be quite hard when you've got a family to support to have you know you don't know how it's a lot easier it's going to go all of that now isn't it for sure well i said it even on the last episode you don't appreciate your parents until you're older so i mean seeing what they went through and going like say working for themselves and doing all of that i don't know how they would have coached with four young kids and like say we had a great childhood we went on great

holidays we went to private school we had big house like i definitely would say they definitely pulled it off i don't know that would be my answer to that but i think she definitely worries a lot and and obviously wanted us to get stable jobs and stuff and so i feel like sometimes i don't take the biggest risks because i think i'm all i'm very responsible as well but then having said that you know they told us not to move back to spain and we did so i think you go i think well i think the main we'll do but my opinion on how what you probably go in a full circle and you overthink it you don't do it then you'll do it because that's what you do you do you push yourself to do it achieve and then again onto the next step and the higher you know bigger challenge

like something else you know yeah and then the same thing again you'll overthinking did and you'll push yourself to do it and you'll do it yeah yeah I'm not very impulsive but you'll still get it done yeah yeah no I that makes sense in what I'm trying to say and how yeah yeah yeah like you say I think I you get definitely Definitely listen, take things in. Some, yeah, generally I think I've come to my own conclusion. Especially as I've got older, I trust myself more. Obviously, the more you do things and the more you achieve,

especially when it's something hard, the more you kind of believe in yourself and you can go on. But yeah, no, I think your parents obviously really do shape who you are. Everything surrounding it of what you do every day. Yeah. And like I say, I really enjoyed my childhood. I think we had a really good balance of, like we had everything, we had some great experiences, great memories, and even like becoming a teenager.

I feel like I was given some leeway, but also don't take the piss. That's probably why I felt so ruin in my life when they said we were moving to Spain because I was like, everything is perfect. Why would you want to mess it up? And again, looking back, best thing they ever did for me. Yeah. Like, well, you know, my experience of being here and a lot of ups and down, still, as life gives you, but generally I'm so glad that they, they, I mean, fair play, really, because like I say,

the first few years must have been really hard because at that point, there was a lot of English people moving here, but, like, think about, like, the supermarkets. We had no English products. Everything was in Spanish. Not many people really spoke English. I think maybe, well, in other terms of how parents would look at it, it was probably the best. time to bring us over whether that was financially or whatever. Do you know what I mean?

But for us, it was like, what? But then imagine you dragging your kids to another country and like Mason kicking off like you did, like I hate it, to actually stick through that knowing that it's going to get better, like that must have been really hard. I don't know how they stuck with it to then know that it was going to be. Well, they probably didn't know. Do you know it's going to be okay? No, it's even worse, isn't it?

Yeah. I feel bad when I say, no, he can't have something late at night because it's late. Do you know what I mean? Let alone if he would get that upset over, obviously move in his life. But yeah, no, like I say, it's best thing ever. Yeah, best thing ever. Best thing ever. I look at people like that I knew at school back in England.

And there is a lot of people that never left their hometown. And it's like we probably have that confidence now because we are used to going into environments that we don't know anyone. And I think it gives us a good bit of character building to start in a new country. Well, literally, we was, well, I was taken from my perfect little life of my hobbies. And like you say, doing so much. I used to go camping every year with a big group of people that we'd see every weekend. Yeah. We had a huge family as well.

You know, even now, you know what I mean? Their memory is forever. Yeah. And then literally picking up a lot, I was picked up and just dropped in the middle. of yeah nothing yeah um yeah but again the best thing the best thing ever and going back to the question it's the same thing support support got your back put you back yeah probably wasn't easy in many times for the child up to teenage it moving here everything in between but just glad they did yeah like say we wouldn't have met our husband and husband to be we wouldn't have the kids

that we have it's mad to think about it like that how different it would be yeah you know and we obviously left we went back to england for five years and then we come back again. Yeah. Even that decision which, obviously, at the time was against advice from our parents to come back. They still supported you. Yeah.

Totally. And made everything, you know, when you were there. Yep. Exactly. I think that's, I think that's something that I'll try to do. It's just advice, guide, but ultimately you do kind of have to go through it yourself. I think I say that a lot. I don't know whether even it's to my mate when we're talking about something in

general or the kids or whatever. it's an opinion okay doesn't mean I'm right I'm just telling you my opinion and then I'll say whatever that is but except to do wherever it is you know

like I think even with friends though like when you can when you can see like you're trying to give advice because you want them to like either do something different or be better or get out of something like it's really hard to give advice and at the same time and then not take it

but then you do have to kind of at one point it's not your life so it's you can only give that opinion and thing okay well when people give me their advice and I don't agree with it then I can say well that's your opinion yeah and we're all doing you might be right might be wrong on it but I might listen to it I might not at the end of the day you either learn from it or you know if it goes wrong then you still learn from it don't you so yes that's a lot of what my mom and dad had to go through yeah basically we probably tell them loads of things that they knew was less for me and I just was like no I'm right

yeah thank definitely But they never give up. Something that you're part, something from your past that you've had to unlearn. Something from my past that I've had to unlearn. So like something that you kind of grew up thinking was right or that's the way and then you've had to like kind of get away from it or unlearn it. Okay. Oh, this is going to might, is, I'm going to say probably religion.

Okay. Is anything that first came into my head? Yeah. Go with it. Go with it. Because I still don't know how I feel about it. Do you get what I mean? But I was bought up.

I went to a church of England school. I loved to go into church. It was, you know, but it doesn't mean I understood the concept of what I was or believed. Yeah. So that and then my nan was quite religious. I mean, she didn't go to church every Sunday. I did go to a church of England school and, you know, I was christened and my boys are christened. Yeah.

Lexi isn't, this is where I mean, this is where I've kind of, you know, I still talk about that she's got Godfarance and stuff and it's not even real, is it? Because it's, you know. It's not official. So to the answer to that question, I'd probably say that because I've probably grown up most of my life with talking about these things as if I believe.

But actually. Because it was like something that you just learned. Just because it was. You didn't question it. No, it was just passed on to you. Yeah. And I like the stories. Probably.

I know that sounds really probably silly, but... Well, I think that's most religions. And kids don't choose their religion. But now I'm like, like, it's passed on in... I don't know, but... Because I'm a bit more of a, I'll believe it when I see it kind of a thing. Yeah.

I'm like, hmm. Well, I've heard you say a few times to your kids like, ask questions, question things. Yeah, question everything. Obviously, as you've got older. It's like, we'll have. Always, let's try. Yeah. Sometimes I forget what advice I give.

But yeah, question everything. And that's... Like you say, that's probably more, I'm like, I don't, I don't really get the answer to that. Yeah. It doesn't make sense to me. So probably, yeah. And learn, I don't know if I learn anything, but. Well, you obviously carried on them stories and drew up in it and then at some point was kind of stepping back for it.

Yeah. And sometimes we say stuff like, oh, please God. Mm. Do I mean that as in? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? So it's true. It's one of them, isn't it?

Yeah. You know? Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes I do it. Sometimes I'll be like, oh, please, you know, I won't say, amen. No, but amen or help. You still say God.

I would still say like, or, you know, when you. Thank God. Yeah, you know, so it's really hard to expand on, but just thinking impulsive of the answer, that's the first thing that came into my head of learning. Yeah, no, I think I relate to that a little bit because, yeah, I've got a lot of Irish in my family. Yeah, and they tell it to be quite religious. And my nun used to go to church on a Sunday Whenever I'd stay at hers on the weekend I went quite a lot

I did my Holy Communion Catholic, yeah Like I say as a kid it was kind of just for fun I don't... Well, I went to some in I didn't... I was at school Yeah, I just went to school And then I went to thank the songs And as the...

Yeah, the hymns and things. The vest. And as the kids like we only sat in part of the Sunday service thing And then we used to go into like a room And then we'd like colour and be with other kids and then you come back. So I think we were there for some of the songs and stuff,

but I guess the preachy bit or I don't know what they did when we left, to be honest. I didn't go on a sender, but I just went in school on a Wednesday or when it was. So I went to a Catholic school at some point, not all my schools, but at one point I did go to a Catholic school. That was one thing I did question. Why are they going to get the front and they get something in their hand and a drink? And I don't get to go and get the thing in the drink. I think that was one of the only reasons why I did my communion because I was like,

I wanted to do that. I think he only did it once. So then again, I still didn't understand. I just know I wanted to go to the front and do whatever they can do, you know. Which is, you know, no disrespect. Yeah. It was just, it was just that. I think, again, it's quite generational.

I think, like, it got passed down and passed down. And then it was like our generation that kind of those traditions maybe filtered out a little bit. But, yeah, there is still a lot of people who, yeah, I wouldn't say I believe in. But I'm, that's the answer to that. for me. Yeah, I wouldn't say I really believe in religion stuff. I think it is there anything else to eat it a bit far-fetched. Um, uh, something had to unlearn. Um, unknown. Something I'm unlearning, which I wouldn't say I'm completely there yet. Yeah. Yeah. Is, um, exchanging time for money. Okay. I don't understand what you were trying to say then. So I think like you say,

growing up it's like you you get educated you go get your job you have your career and then that's set and I think now that there's just so many different opportunities of different things you can do that you don't always have to do it in the traditional way anymore and like you know in my head I always thought I was going to have a career and I was just going to advance that career and work my way to the top but kind of as I mean I kind of have done that to a degree yeah but then at the same time obviously wanting to do coaching and stuff I was on the side, I want to have my own thing as well as maybe do the career side as well. But exchanging time for money.

So like the more you work, the more you get paid. But that's not necessarily true. I think it's now it's understanding that the more value you bring, the more you get paid. Yeah, but that doesn't mean you don't, you still have to work hard. It's not it's not the working hard, but it's the time. It's not given to you. Yeah. But like you say, if you, if you, you've got that drive and you, you don't.

got that thing but ultimately yeah ultimately you know because you could work your ass off for a company for 50 years but then you can have someone half your age earner more money than you so it's not always time for money like it's value that you bring and I think that's something I've maybe had to unlearn a bit because obviously we grew up with you work the more you work the more you get paid the harder you work the more you get paid sometimes you don't have to kill yourself to work that much harder, you just have to work smarter, bring more value, and then actually that equates sometimes. And again, I think because I've grown up so ambitious and driven and like always had this vision of like the next thing, the next, like you say, once I've done

one, I don't relax, it's like the next one and the next one, always moving the goalposts. Which is not a bad thing. It's not a bad thing, but you also need to appreciate how far you've come because at one point, like, what you have now is what you dreams of having. So I have to remind myself of that because the minute I get it is very difficult to actually enjoy it because I'm always thinking about the next thing.

Which is why I was adamant that I had a four-day week. Yeah. Because although it's scientifically proven as well. Yeah, yeah. Science is backing you up now. Thank you. But you did it for years. But that...

Yeah. That's what I mean. I think that is partly what I've learned from you as well is that it's very difficult for me to to not put everything into something and to actually just but you can still put everything into something you just like you say you don't kill yourself

in the process of it because yeah but you're happy to essentially leave some money on a table because you're you've realised that your time now with the kids at the age that you have is more valuable to you than that extra days pay because I've learned that when I've earned the money

and work at the time I didn't get to do anything with it because I didn't have the time. Yeah. You know, and I missed out on other stuff, which was even just being at home or sitting at the table together or helping with homework or whatever it was because I was on that. Yeah.

You know, and that had to be cut off when I left the door and, you know, or whatever. Yeah. You know, in terms of that. And that's what made me learn that it, I can turn that later if I need to. Well, you've always said that. I'm just happy. When your kids are older, you're going to have all the time in the world. Yeah, I'm just happy with being with them.

you know, paying my bills, clothes on the back, food on the table. And, you know, that's it. You know, we get away. I mean, our favourite getaway is camping. So, you know, we could go anywhere and do anything. We've done lovely holidays, but we've learned that just be together. Well, yeah, you've done Disney, you've done that line, you've done it all, really. But our happiest times, our happy place is just being together.

Yeah. You know, and that's what I've learned in terms of, like, you know, say, time and money. Yeah, yeah, no, so I agree. So it means kind of understanding that you can slow down a bit without feeling like you're giving up on your goals. You can still be very ambitious, driven, have things in mind that you don't have to. The thing is, I never looked after myself while I was doing those things. So I would push myself to the brink of like burnout and stuff by doing it because my jobs are corporate jobs, normally sales. normally targets, normally stressful.

And also maybe as well, it wasn't when you had a child, which you think you, you know what I mean? You haven't got to do it, but still you've got to take care of that. So I mean, it was very easy for me to do that. And to be honest, I think I do quite enjoy the pressure and the stress of it. Exactly. But I said you go in a full circle. I wouldn't give it up.

It's just when you're at this moment, you need to remind yourself. But then I think we said this the other day, that, like, that was my 20s. That was for grinding. I've grinded now. exactly you can't and I have not going to go to the point where I'm happy and I'm really happy in what I'm doing so now I don't feel like I have to grind to the level that I was doing before yeah yeah and there is a little bit more balance and obviously Cason six so this is something I've only really done recently I wouldn't say I even slow down that much yeah when I had Casing it's kind of retrospectively and learning that now the second time around even even you know now I've got I've got to remind myself. Yeah. And I think because, like I say, because my parents,

they were always around because they always worked for themselves. So, you know, they picked us up. They dropped us off. They took us everywhere. Like they were always at home with us. I didn't have parents that weren't there. Yeah. Like you do normally when your parents have them jobs.

Like when they don't work for themselves, basically. So, yeah, I feel like I was quite blessed in that respect. So I think I've got a really good balance. now of being around and now back from maternity leave working and i don't work Fridays how is it going how are you yeah so obviously i went back in january so we're nearly the end of january now so yeah it's do you know what it's a really good balance because the weekends go fast anyway yeah so on top of having a really busy week like that extra day and having that day where kacens at school for the morning, you just have a little bit of extra time to, like, sort yourself out and just get

organised again and prepared again for Monday. It makes no to the rest of the week, does it? This is what I'm trying to say. Like, you smash your week out and having a Friday off doesn't mean you've got less any less work done or any, you know, achievements done over that week. Yeah. It just means that you're balancing out. I feel like I've got more energy and actually, like you say, scientifically, it makes sense.

I've always been one that, like, works late. and skips lunch and all those things anyway that's just how I've worked even though I'm not saying that's the right way but that's how I've always been like I don't take breaks literally I could sit in front of a computer screen for four hours I don't get up I don't have bag breaks

I don't you know I tend to like to work in my office rather than go into our office because I don't like to be interrupted and stuff like I like to smash things out so I probably get more done in four days than most people do in a whole week anyway because I'm a little bit like say when I get into something, then I just in a flow, and then I can get loads done.

So, yeah, I'm really enjoying it. And it just feels like a nice balance. Otherwise, by the time your head stops spinning on a Friday, you've got the hobbies or whatever on the weekend, then it's like, oh, crap, it's Monday again. And, like, I don't have the energy. I don't feel like, you have the time to recuperate, especially when you've got young kids. Like, it's a lot of energy that you need for work and for kids. So, no, I'm really loving the balance.

Yeah, I like my advice on that one. I'll say that one. What traditions are you going to take from your childhood and pass on to your kids? Traditions. When you say tradition, I think it's Christmas when you say tradition. Yeah, do you know what I mean? Or anything that you enjoyed as a kid that you want to bring on. It doesn't have to be like a yearly tradition, but just...

Oh, my brother would be good at these ones. I'm rubbish at remembering stuff like it. He sent me something the other day about like a game we used to play. Oh, I love that. He was trying to get it for somebody. You can get it. Traditions. Well, you just said camping.

Camping, yeah. Camping was something we did with the borrilla lot, which was, I'd probably say this wrong. I don't even know how everyone, it was just my mom and dad's friends who was, as far as I'm concerned, again, I could be wrong on this, who met at the pub on a Sunday. and had kids and all the kids were raised

and that was my life like I say after the stables I'd pick me out of the dump I have to go to the borough I have to see them the parties were the best and again every I'm sure it was summer

we'd go camping and it was the best I actually did take mine I don't know if I did take mine camping with them once maybe I dreamt it maybe I didn't I can't actually remember

but I did go back I don't know if I had kids then actually I'm not sure I did go back on my own without my mum and dad when I'd moved here to do it with them because I just missed it so much and I missed them and that group so much. So that tradition I keep.

And also with the same kind of group of people we would always go to, again, one of the adults' house, the same adult every year on Christmas Eve and have a big party and, you know, Father Christmas would visit. it, and they would take turns in who would be dressed enough as, you know, the Father Christmas who would visit that house, give gifts that all the parents had obviously put together like we do with our secrets, that I think, you know.

Yeah. I took my, I took mine back for that one year. I don't think Loxie was here. I don't know if more than was, but I know Mason definitely came, I'm Mitch. Yeah. And, yeah, we experienced that one, yeah. And I just loved them to see what I did as a kid. Yeah.

And I think at the same sort of time, I took them back to where I live, We went to the park, used to play out in, and, you know, that kind of a thing. I mean, I don't think I did, I wouldn't say I did took my kids camping because it was my tradition, but obviously I grew up doing it. So even when I first went here, I was like, this is a camping. Like, I was used to going literally on a field. Do you know what I mean? And I can't think of the area now.

But yeah, it was literally on a field. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you walk to his house all over the toilet. All the resort stuff going on that the camping is here. Yeah. It was, but it was the best. But so, yeah, when I came and did it here, I was like, this is a campus. Now we still enjoy it.

Yeah, we've got all the parks and spars. I know, yeah, that's, but it's amazing. Look at 10. Yeah, you do do it properly. We put on the barbecue. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you could go into the cabin, but you don't, you tune it. No, yeah. So, yeah, that's tradition or not tradition.

I don't know, but yeah, yeah, that's. Well, we did it, didn't we while I was pregnant? Yeah. Well, you were your first time coming with us. First time camping in Spain. I think. Oh, there you go there. I don't know if we did it

when I was younger over here. I don't really remember. We got a camper van and we drove from here back to England one year. Yeah, but that's a little bit different. But I was the same. When we'd go in England, I mean, we'd go,

a lot of the time we'd go to places you're not even allowed to camp. It's not even officially for camping, but we'd like go into like the middle of forest. We'd last a day or two before the Ranger comes down. Sorry, let's come to my head. Forest Adin, that's where I was going.

Yeah. Yeah, we'd go with my, my grander. was there I remember but obviously we was all like my auntie uncle cousins we was all similar ages so I remember going proper young and yeah we'd start off where we weren't allowed to be till the ranger came and told us to move but yeah like tents by like a stream then you'd have a rope swing and literally not get changed or brush my hair for two three days like proper camping thinking like that though Mitch shows and the other day I've probably seen it you know

like these videos that come up with that we were the last generation to not have this and to do this. Most of it's probably technology to have got an issue of you. Yeah, you know, I had an imagination. We didn't, like it out or whatever. We didn't even take toys or books or anything. I literally vividly remember this one time because there's a photo of me.

Got to have been like six, something like that. And I can just picture being there. And yeah, we just played with whatever was there. Ghost stories and stuff. Yeah. And then we'd move on from there to like a caravan park sometimes. And then we'd be there where we took like bikes and then they had like a bit of entertainment and stuff. So we did a lot of those like caravan sites as well. But yeah, we'd normally start off roughing it. Yeah. I loved it. And then we'd meet up and then my mum will come and stuff. But again, I didn't have any difference. So for me it was just the best. Yeah. No, I enjoyed that. I want to get into camping more. Now like say Casey's at bay. He enjoyed it. And obviously, my mum and dad didn't, the last couple of years, they've had a camper van and they've done a lot with Kaysen. Yeah.

I'm also taking him away on the weekends and stuff. So he loves camping. He loves campy. Yeah. He was telling you. Yeah. Literally, they brought it so that we had it all there. And he's like, yep, this goes there.

That goes there. This is how you do it. So, no, I'd, yeah, I want to do more trips with the kids. I think it's not, like I say, it's great because they just all get on so well. so it's nice that they're technically forced to be friends because we're friends, but actually they all love each other, yeah, it's great. But like I say, as traditions go, like, well,

if you say traditions, I think even with, even with us not meaning to do it, but whether it was Easter or Christmas or doing all these things to, you know, like when it comes round to it, mine always would say, are we doing our Christmas party this year? You know, which is nice. Yeah, you know, we have done that in the last few years especially because I think, yeah, previously it'd be like, random but whereas I think we're getting more into the flow of actually doing things more

regularly yeah well yeah as the kids grew up saying yeah no I like our like Christmas parties and then like I said we've done Easter a couple of years now and then we done a trip to Madrid that was our first like a time away away well apart from camping we did camping but that's that didn't feel away because it's only half an hour yeah it does when you're there yeah when you're there it feels away but so we did that one and then we did Madrid with the kids in Warner Brothers that was really good that was fun and you know If I ask Kaysen, what's your favorite holiday? Bear in mind, I've took him to Dubai.

My mum and dad have took him to Lapland. He says, Madrid. It's the company. But no, it's good, like you say, he loved it. Yeah. So. It's them of the things I used to, as a kid, like you say, we're like, oh, we go into so-and-so's for Christmas Eve, you know?

You just want to be with other people. You know, because that was, that was it. And then, like, well, like you say, then I'd come home and I'd be allowed to have a present from under the tree on Christmas. Christmas see before I went to get. Yeah, we did the same. And it was pyjamas. Always pajamas.

I don't know why I didn't pocket on. I still get excited about it though. And mine still do the same, exactly the same. And this year I switched it up. Did it? Yeah, I didn't, nothing more and more exciting. It was like, I think it was a selection box or chocolate or something like that. But I think they were so like, oh, we're going to get Christmas stuff.

I was like, oh, well, are you? And not this year. And I think, seriously, they're a little big guy that they did it. You know what I mean? Because as much as you're like, I know what I'm getting. You still get that excitement of, I know what I'm good enough. What is it going to be like? And everyone's patching.

So, yeah, yeah. As far as the traditions go, I think, you know, generally following it without knowing it. Yeah. And even between us, I think we're making our own. Yeah. You know, with our own kids. Yeah. As well.

No, it's good. Yeah, I love it. If you could relive one moment from the past, what would it be in why? Relive one moment from the past. One. Just one. Just one. That's really hard because, obviously,

without going too deep, I'd say, obviously, my grandparents and so on, so on, so on. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? If I had to relive my past, because there's so much with, like I just said, with, you know, like my borriller or, or, yeah, my grandparents and that kind of thing. Yeah, I think it's too hard to pick one moment. That is a hard in going, and then going back to if you're just going to go with us, our moments.

You know what I mean? Like, there's so many, so many. Yeah, I can't pick one moment. choose and then obviously if you're going to start getting real deep obviously my children and things like that but yeah yeah actually i wouldn't want to relive that would i want to relive no no wouldn't want to relive no no no actually i love you all but i want to relive it um yeah yeah yeah that's a really hard question yeah no i don't think i can even answer it because i'd be here forever because i'm like no because i want to do that and then i'll do that but hard of making

decisions is it yeah dinner that's one hard decision yeah god don't even get started that's the bane of our lives hate picking dinner yeah no i can't answer that that's a really hard one i'll probably say over every podcast that oh i love this this is my favorite this is my fame so yeah um yeah one moment i don't think there's anything in my life that's just one moment that stands out no same to me because then i think of something out i say instantly you go back to getting married or having kids yeah or moments that you like you say you can't you know you can't look like from parents something at that next. Yeah, exactly.

That's too hard. I can't answer that one. All right, don't get too deep. Go play it now. What's one piece of advice you would give your younger self? Oh, I don't know if I would. I think she needs to give me advice now. Because, yeah, I think.

All right, so what would her advice be to you now, then? What would you take from her? Probably don't, if I think, like, stuff. That's funny, because I would give my advice to her. young, my younger self to like overthink stuff. Just take the pressure off, like, as young. Yeah, I think I'm the other way around. When I was young, I, you didn't care.

It was, yeah, I didn't really care about anyone, anything. Although I loved my friends and everyone around the family, didn't it? Yeah, yeah. But I was also very like, well, I'm just going to do what I do. That's what I want to do. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Some people may think I wasn't kind in that way,

and other people may have seen me in a different way if she was, you know, the other way. yeah i think i think because of because yeah i can see how different people would have seen you differently sometimes you can my friend is my best friend that's what i mean and if you're not then i don't you can come you can come across a bit cold if you but the people that know you know if i just feel like well even now i still say it don't i don't i don't want any new friends i'm having my friends i do end up still meeting people i'm just not as probably open yeah you love a new friend you know so and you even more you like a good conversation You'd necessarily go into that, you know, whereas I'd be like, nah, I'm all right.

Yeah. I'm either here with my friends. Yeah. Yeah, no, that's funny you said that because I never really thought about that, but I can see why people that wouldn't know you or they're in your circle would maybe see you like that. I mean, that sounds a bit rude, actually, because it's good to care. Do you know what I mean? But yeah, I think I was just a lot more relaxed, but then I suppose.

It was, well, me, my personality back then was. I think it was a good thing. Yeah. I remember seeing that I had to kind of do. It's hard because, like I say, you wouldn't want to change anything because you wouldn't be where you are now if you change anything from back then. So in a way I wouldn't. But in another way, I feel like there's probably some, like, just chill.

Yeah, some moments, it's like, yeah, care, like, put in a lot of effort and, like, push yourself and, like, use that pressure in a good way so that you, you know, get where you want to get to. But it's all going to work out, so don't panic too much. Yeah, yeah. Don't let it, like, I wouldn't say it all the time, but there's probably some moments that I probably didn't enjoy as much as I could have done if I just took the pressure off a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, which is probably what I do now more. Yeah. You know what I mean? I try, although I don't, like you say, I'd have to have a pep talk to myself. Yeah. But back then I would never have had to do that. Yeah. Wouldn't have even thought.

Yeah. Overthought and just not even thought it. Learn overthought. Yeah. It's one of the reasons where I got my first tattoo. I think I was 24, my first tattoo. because again, overthinking it took me that long to pick

what I wanted, but I won't money, I don't, I don't, I took on my first. But it says worry less, smile more. Yeah, and it is like I say, I wouldn't change who I am or how I do things of my process, but just, yeah, like,

push yourself, care, you know, drive, whatever, but then at the end of the day, just enjoy it because it's all going to work out. Yeah, exactly. And whatever doesn't work out wasn't supposed to work out. Mm-hmm. yeah as long as everyone's happy and happy so worry less smile more like that one it's a good motto what did you just say worry less I was just right to the camera and I couldn't

say see you if you script me I'm shit worry less smile less I think I'll use this is a good one for our last question of the day go on go for it how do you define success at this stage of life because I think that's changed probably for maybe what it would have been in our 20s to what it is in our 30s. Again, I think this would be a different answer for everyone in their own, you know, life. That's what I mean. Everyone thinks success is one thing, but it's different for everyone. I think people are a bit more open to what success means to me.

It's different now. Yeah. So people used to think it was that job, that title, that money, that car, that house. Yeah. But that's not success anymore. I mean, I'm proud of where I've come in my career because I didn't finish school. you know, the norm way or whatever and I did have to really work hard

to get to where I am so I'm not the most clever person if you want to put it that way. I did really have to work for it, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not that everyone doesn't work for it but, you know, like it does it just come to me easy

if you're not like I'm, it's hard work. Like I say, I'm proud that I've done that, but I think for me now, I think again, if you'd ask me like five years ago, I might have been, I didn't mean it. Now it's, that I'm earning a living for myself. I'm spending time with my children.

My children are happy in their life. Me and my partner are happy. My friendship, my family. I think that's successful, isn't it? I think we've got a roof over our head. Again, it doesn't matter if, again, I think it's a brilliant thing in a such an achievement if you do, but it doesn't change if you own a house or you don't own a house

or you're self-employed or not self-employed, I think my home, wherever that is, our unit is happy, you know? I think that to me is success. And that goes on to my parents and my, you know, in-laws and, you know, everything like that. That's closer, but on. Yeah.

That would, because I think if it's all right if you've got everything, whether it's financially, material, whatever. Yeah. But if you're not happy, you know with you know in your life or your your partner's not happy or your friend you know I just feel like everyone around me so happy yeah and doing well that yeah that's yeah definitely yeah why are you same really like so I think it's shifted like in my 20s I would have

probably been a bit more you know the the job title that I had how much money I was earning because that's kind of what I've always strived for and what I've always worked hard for. But like you say, at that time it was. At that time, that's kind of what in my head, I grew up thinking was success, was having the house, having the car, having the job and all of that.

But along the way, realising, yeah, it's how happy you are in all those things. So it doesn't have to be the house you thought, the car you thought or anything like that. It is everything around you, exactly what you said, really. Obviously, being financially comfortable helps that is part of, I think, being successful. Not necessarily having it all, but not having the worry about things.

So we've, you know, like you say, nothing gets given on a plate. We've done what we've had to do in different ways with different challenges along the way. Yeah. And I think, like you say, if you'd ask them back then, it would have been out I did a different answer. But right now, my success is that my children are happy and doing well. yeah um you enjoy what you do for a living as well you're not doing a job that you hate yeah love my job yeah um definitely if i'm not the same i might come to see me they will when they leave the room i tell me um but yeah yeah yeah no i agree i think now i've got

to a point where i've got a really nice balance i really like since going back from a tent leave i've changed my job a little bit i'm really enjoying that um i think it's what i'm really good at so and it's what I really enjoy as well so I'm happy with work I'm happy with the balance I'm happy with yeah like say the house we've got making it a home

and everything like that that goes with it and yeah being able to have the time and the money to make memories and stuff and yeah like just having happy healthy kids and a relationship I think I probably used to take my relationship for granted a little bit

never him in our relationship but just because we've been together so long like obviously yeah just having a relationship that is happy and healthy that we enjoy that we want to be in like when I see other people that don't have that then it's yes

it makes you like you say appreciate what you've got but I don't think I've always done that I think I kind of took that for granted because oh yeah well we're just together and obviously we're going to stay together and yeah like gris just is what it is but no like you do have to work in a relationship to make it continually be what you want it to be but yeah just appreciating what I've got I think rather I think yeah I took my foot off the gas a little bit still got things that I want to do and want to achieve and I know I'll get there but I feel like I you're not going to be just working at the speed you did it originally yeah I'm more grateful for what I've got you know again along the way you've got to do that to get where you're you know to get yeah i think i'll always do that no matter what i've got i'll always do that but i think i'm doing it in a healthier way in that i'm actually like enjoying what i've been able to build and be grateful for that while i yeah i think i saw it the other day and it was like um be happy

and content with what you've got while you're working for what you want yeah and i feel like i've got that now good that's that's exactly the balance everyone should try to get to yeah we'll finish that i think yeah that was that was good that's nice hopefully Hopefully everyone got to know us a little bit more. And we'll catch you guys next week. See you next week. Bye.