The Rising’s Growing Together Podcast - Wedding Traditions, Teen Tattoos & the Truth About Kids' Parties | Ep 18

Episode Date: May 30, 2025

In this episode of Growing Together, Billie and Charlotte unpack it all from wedding memories and hen do plans to parenting challenges like school trips and kids’ social pressure.They also get real about tattoos, emotional traditions, and why respecting children's preferences matters just as much as encouraging them to step outside their comfort zones. It’s thoughtful, funny, and full of moments that will hit home.

Welcome back, everyone. Hello, welcome back. Welcome back. I was going to say, welcome Friday, but it's actually Thursday. It is. But it's our Friday. It's our Friday. I live today.

I love today, after work, obviously. After work. It is our Friday. Happy Thursday Friday to everyone. You should do it. Hop on it and you're full Lager. Well, some countries are doing there, or they've trialed a four-day week, work week, and productivity is the same.

Everyone's, you know, apparently it's like scientificly proof. Yeah, I agree. I mean, I do feel like I do five days work. work in four days so i don't feel like i do less work than anybody else but i have a day to chill with the kids and the extra day for the kids so i want to kick off with a bit of a confession i completely forgot about something when we talked about weddings yeah and we were doing something old something new something virus and something blue and i was talking about what i did yeah he scared with them i completely missed out something and i cannot believe i blanked and forgot um one of my

bridesmaids actually messaged me to say you're not quite right um my mum cut her square out of her wedding dress and I pinned it to the underneath of my dress. Bill, that's huge. How did I forget that? That's huge. Sorry, ma. I'm glad it wasn't your mom that told you. She probably would have forgot as well to be honest. She messaged me after the episode and was like, Bill, are you sure? And I was like, I don't remember that. So she actually said it and I still argued with her like, no. No, you're wrong. Until she sent me a photo. I said I was like, oh shit. Wow. Because it's photos she took. So, It's not photos I have on my camera or anything.

So completely spaced and forgot that happened. But I had to remember it and then go, oh. Yeah. Because I didn't, not even a clue. Yeah. Nothing. It's funny like you say, you remember certain things. And that's a big thing.

I know. Like your mum's wedding dress. Yeah. How nice is that? That is actually really nice. Like something like old to have with you. Yeah. So.

Love that you remembered it too. Really meant a lot, Bill. But. The idea was nice at the time off. You want to do that tradition as well. That's a nice tradition if you remember it. Oh, my God. It's terrible in it.

But honestly, these things, they mean stuff. But it's just, you know, some things you forget. That's why you need your friends around you to remind you. Exactly. Exactly that. We can't remember everything. And prove it with a photo. The one you would have argued.

No, I didn't. I did, literally. Until she sent it to me. And then even when she sent it to me, I was like, oh, I don't remember this. But obviously, it's the morning of getting ready. I don't know how I forgot it because, like you said, it's a really lovely thing. But yeah, totally. totally, totally spaced out and forgot about that one.

Brilliant, brilliant. But no, talking about weddings, might have had a secret little Hendo planning meeting for someone. I know, my hands booked. Officially booked. We are going. End of March. We've got a great weekend planned.

You only know. Yes. A little bit. Yeah, I do. I'm excited. But, yeah, we had a little meeting and we just were throwing loads of ideas of what we want to do and it's so exciting. Well, that was it, wasn't it?

So because I didn't have, because I don't have. have any, you know, I don't have maid of honours or bridesmaise. I just have Lexi as a flower girl and I don't mean just, I have Lexi as my flower girl and my sons as the dad's best man. So I created a group

of girls, my girls, obviously who I thought that would be great and would love to and do all these things and different areas. So and can deal with group chats and organizing and taking payment. And all people,

you've planned there so it's like now come back and do me the paper um but yeah so so that that's what i did first be the for you for you's view and then i give you my list didn't i yeah and um it was really weird because i'd changed obviously the day of my ceremony yeah um that also really had to change the date on my head otherwise i'd be married on what we thought we were going to do again nothing was official at the time yeah um and and and yeah so bringing it forward made this weekend appear that was just like, this is for you, Charlotte. I know, I know, literally.

If I could think of, like, if I could make it up, it would be this handy for you. So the fact, like, you changed and the dates happen. And you all were writing in something that would be perfect for me. All of them things near enough are in this weekend. It's crazy and more, I think. You know what I mean? So, yeah, I'm really, really excited.

buzzing for that that's got me obviously like shit like it's happening and just to be nice to it's nice to look forward to something in it yeah it is nice to look forward to something so and it's my hen obviously it's weird for me because obviously I've done yeah I've done hens for everyone else I'm kind of the last one finally it's your turn so yeah it's good it's excited so I look forward to a lot to to do before them meant to be right yeah the fact that you change your dates and then it's like boom now this weekend is happening and like to be fair your sister-in-law spotted it around the time we were talking about it because look we're nearly a year away or just under a year away we could very well have left

this for another couple of months yeah and why i am and if we had yeah that place would have been sold out we would not be able to go like that's why it's been done like in the nick of time and we've been able to get like for all the people that are coming like rooms all next to each other so it's like like the last rooms that were next to each other as well so it's like if we hadn't have jumped on it and booked it. And to be fair, all the girls are like, boom, boom, boom, deposit's done. Yeah, I heard everyone was easy. Thanks, girls, because that helped big time. Because I don't think

the booking was an easy situation to do at the time. Yeah, because of Spain and UK and addresses and all crap. So, yeah, that was quite, it's nice to hear it's an easy ride for the people who are obviously sorting stuff out. I put that in the chat and I was like, do I dare say this has been easy so far? And then they were like, why say it now?

And I was like, yeah, I should have waited until we got all the deposits and it was booked. I was like, please don't say I'm jinxed it, but no. No, but it is. It helps the situation. Otherwise it becomes like a, you know what I mean? It does. Yeah.

Of doing stuff like that. So yeah, it's nice. But that is obviously my weekend hen. Yeah, that sounds really like, you didn't want nothing big, but you're just going to have a, but I'm going to do a hen here, obviously, for Lexi, obviously, and my niece and my goddaughters and my mom, my mother-in-law, and all the friends that I've got in this area. yeah um uh and and who can't or don't want to do that weekend sort of thing you know what i mean so that's that's another thing so you're gonna have two yeah i'm gonna have two but obviously

the other one will just be a night or day or whatever it is yeah yeah like a bridal shower i think yeah i think a lot of people have started to do that because they split like yeah some people want their mums at their hendu some people don't and then end up getting split or like say having kids yeah appropriate for what we're doing exactly just to be able to get lexie involved And, you know, I've got, I've got loads of people I want, would want to be part of my hen. But my, just my personal opinion, the weekend is just for like, like, you're certain friends. Yeah. Just for me.

That's just for me. Do you know what I mean? Who I can deal with for the weekend, you know? Yeah. And I don't mean that I can't deal with other people for the weekend, but I just think, especially what we're doing, this just suits us. That's how we've grown up. That's what we do. Yeah.

You know what I mean? It's not going to want to have to worry about my mom. or my mother-in-law or other friends that I don't think they would enjoy it if you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're friends for different reasons for different people.

Exactly. Exactly that. So that's what I mean by that. I don't know if I'm explaining myself, right? But for that. So, yeah. People that are coming in are like your, yeah, long-term close friends.

You see a lot, have the same interests. So, yeah, what we're doing suits that. Yeah. And as I'm saying, any of the long-term close friends that haven't been buying to this weekend, genuinely the reason is that is that it's, it's, I just didn't think it would suit. Yeah. All that I can't do for a weekend, I'm joking.

I love you all really. Yeah, no, like you say, it's, it's, you want it to be easy. And I personally don't like huge, huge groups. No, it gets to, so I'm saying, so it gets too much of groups. So what happens is, is then you've got different groups of friends, of your friends, and then you feel split. And I'm not, I don't want to do that to myself. And you're going to feel rushed. And I haven't done that in this, do you know what?

we're all normal more or less it's better to do it close together and the girls that are coming they all know each other exactly that's what I'm saying so it's all more or less more or less otherwise I'd have literally another even just ones two's threes here and there and I don't want that for them and I don't want that for me yeah I mean so yeah that's why I'm splitting it up that's literally why I'm splitting because the one that you do in Spain you know if someone is by themselves coming or just two of them you know it's an evening thing so they're not put out everyone can enjoy themselves and you know you don't feel like you have to split your time with everybody it's a big thing exactly um whereas this is not i have to explain myself for anything but

you just you know you just feel like you feel like you have to you know that's all i'm saying yeah no it would be really nice i'm super excited yeah it is so that was good that was another thing done this week uh morgan came home he survived yes survived his school trip he went away in the wilderness with no devices. So that was nice. He had a really, really good time. Loved it. They all loved it.

So, yeah, it was nice to listen to his stories. He got involved in everything, which was good. And, yeah, came back. Much more successful than our school trips. Yes, he came. Exactly. He didn't get sent home. Yeah, nothing to complain about.

Good point, Mocky. Yeah, and my eldest got his story. first tattoo that was weird that was very very weird it is weird because I probably was way too young to get my

toes when I got them and definitely didn't think about what I was having where I was having it nothing long term just oh I didn't know I mean want a tattoo literally want to be in the club exactly that all that so anyway so me and him had a little

and you didn't wait till you're 18 neither. And I didn't want to like that team. That's probably why. So it was nice because he kind of got us involved in what he was choosing as well. So he wanted us to like it. Obviously it's his toe. Obviously it's only his arm but at the same time he wanted it. He didn't want us to probably look at it and go you know what I mean. Which is nice. That was nice for him because he could have just. That's so nice because yeah. In a way it's like it's it's their bodies but it's like you created it and you don't want them to ruin it or you know we are older and wiser and we know that you know if you don't put thought behind it you end up not wanting it

and then you've ruined your body not ruined your body but you know what I mean so yeah it's nice that yeah so he's done it that way it was nice that he got us involved um we made it obviously went for breakfast in the morning and then took him there obviously to fill him up with food keeping going food for the whole day actually of that but what was nice what I really liked about the tow shop um we've known them for years anyway they've done all of us exactly they've done all of us and all the family and whatever else they're great but they're very honest in the fact that when mason said what he wanted she was like i didn't do that i'd do that on you because it will look stupid and literally just like that yeah and so he was like oh okay i could have probably

said that a million times but he probably wouldn't have necessary no they're not going to pay attention to and literally they say it like that as well um well i've been in the waiting room and some people have walked in like girls on holiday i want this and then they said that is going fade or look silly because it's too small and you'll get a year out of it and that'll be it. So they are very, very honest. I admire that. Do you know what I mean? Totally. These are people. You're not going to see them again, are you? Exactly. These are people's bodies. That's why they've lasted as long. I think anyway. So what we did was we sort of turned the idea of Mace, well, what he did and they did, turn the idea of what he

wanted, but made it a little bit more personal, you know, with meaning to what he wanted. because he liked the idea of what he wanted, but also, you know, you have to have a... I feel you should have a little bit of meaning unless you're good with art or whatever else. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Otherwise, it could just come as a trend, I think, sometimes. Totally, and trends and fads, they come and they go.

Like, how many people have, like, you know, that proper tribal tattoos or the ones on the bottom of your back? Exactly like that. It's like, our parents for the dolphins, you know, like, these things, like, come and they go and that. And in different parts of the body. Yeah. It used to be like the shoulder or the bottom of the back.

Exactly. I think it was our parents were the top of the shoulder. Us was the bottom of the back or the tramp stamp is what they called it. Exactly. So it is one of the, you know, so I've been saying it for a couple of years about tattoo. But obviously I said if you still want it by the time you're 18, then. Yeah. That's it.

I think if you've got an idea, you've had it for a while, you've sat on it. You still really like it. And there is something, it doesn't have to be a super, you know, personal meaning, but there has to be something of the reason why you like it. If you know what you want and you say, okay, I want this, want this, what this, and it goes and you, do I mean, then fine. But if you're just going on this day, I'm going to stick it there. It's a bit like, yeah, do you?

Because if I've taught this, everyone's got this, this, this. Well, that's it, you know, everyone who I spoke to who regret their tattoos are generally made on a whim. They've been drunk. They've just picked something for the sake of it because they fancied it at the moment. Like, they're the ones that generally people regret. And it's not always. Some people love their drunk tattoos or they love their, you know, weird tattoos. But it was just that. It was more for him and his age, obviously, and going into something. And he was having, it's quite a big one. So it's like, it's like that. The whole front of his arm. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, you need that one to be. Because he did say at first as well, someone said something to him about, you know, not being able to work or something about a job. And I was like, no, Mason. I said, I feel that comments actually quite very old fashioned. And I said, I think it's quite judgmental actually.

because I said I don't really think that you should listen to that comment personally. I don't think that's true. I think very long, long time ago maybe. Not that I agree with it. But I do think sometimes people, maybe even still now, do look at people with tattoos and have this judgment or, you know,

why not work in whatever you want to work just because you've got whatever. Yeah, it's a hard one. To an extent. Yeah. I get what you're saying. If you're coming out with like, I don't know, Pearson's in your eyelid or something.

Do you know what I mean? Like that's a bit... And I also think about what it is that the tattoo is and it shouldn't be. And it shouldn't be, like you say, you should be able to have whatever you want and do whatever you want. But the reality is the world that we live in,

there are going to be some employers that are going to look and go, I think we're way further forward now where it's, I think, maybe 80% of the jobs that would have said no, we'll now say yes. Yeah. And I think not something offensive

or like silly tattoos you know if it's all like car not silly tattoos because some people love cartoon that's what i mean but like yeah like silly things or like offensive things and stuff then yeah maybe it's going to be a bit like okay yeah also mason's in a very like practical job yeah you know i think there still is that stigmatism of you know if you work in banking or finance or like my kind of company now people in my work do have tattoos yeah but i think there still is that that kind of corporate world I think still have a little bit of thing

against tattoos whereas I think a lot of other places don't I remember even going You have like a stereotypical thing that it's called the bikers you know Yeah exactly

But it's not now I think a lot of people I think you're hard push to find people without tattoos now Although I think it's going back The other way Now we're going into a bit more of like people with you know

The younger generation A bit more into their wellness And their fitness And their mental health and all these things, which is great. A lot of people are kind of going back the other way of having more thought behind their toes. Whereas I think our generation, we didn't really.

Didn't think that the shoes were going to ruin our feet for the rest of our life. Just they look good and we were going to wear them. And try to walk in them. You know, like things like that. Now they wouldn't even think about, no, that's uncomfortable. I'm just going to wear a track suit. Yeah, I'm just going to be authentic.

You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I think it's great that people would think more about themselves. But no, I think there is still that stigmatism a little bit. Is it stigmatism? the word. Stigma. You're the stigma. Yeah.

There's that stigma around, you know, tattoos. You're not as intelligent and, you know, whatever. So, yeah, he had it done. Nice. They obviously came to the final design. So they designed it there and then and changed it ready to go. Well, I think it'd already been in a few weeks before with his auntie and gone over. Because he'd asked me and I was like, look, I can come with you, but I'm probably not the best person.

You're not the most creative. No, or I'm not even that it's their thing really in a way but his auntie's got loads of tattoos a lot more than I have so, you know, just go and start it off and then obviously I'll be there on your first day and if there's anything that you don't like

with the final design because then the idea is kind of flowing from that they made the design so then when we arrived on the tattoo day it came out and then a few little adjustments that Mason wanted on certain stuff for different reasons. So it wasn't a big change

it's just like little... Literally like flipping something over the other side or making a different detail here or there or just the mouth open or closed or this kind of thing, do you know what I mean? So yeah he did it and he was fine. He was better off than when he got his piercing here for like an acupuncture point

because he used to suffer with migraines. It was terrible with that and aftercare. This tattoo was literally didn't flinch didn't move. He was chilling. I'm worse with piercings than tattoos though. He literally chilling like I can't remember anything like that because i think i'd be terrible now with anything like that well yeah because i only in the last couple years i've got my my third bit done and the side bit done and yeah it's horrible

yeah see i've had to go and do something now actually i've just remembered i actually did book in for my tattoo there i haven't told i haven't told anyone because i've forgotten now yeah what have you because i've promised everyone that i would because i've had vouchers for years to go and yeah so's my mom and dad still have vouchers from years ago um and yeah so i promise everyone on that because I was taking Mason there that I would book my tattoo in and they're like, right, are you going to do it? And then I was like, well, it's summer. So let's wait the last summer. I get all mine in summer. I just get the itch I think to get it done. And then I'm like out of the water for a couple of weeks. Exactly. Not that I actually go in the water.

Well, that's it. It doesn't actually bother me because I'm not always in the sun. So, but as I said, right, we'll do it after summer. So, yeah. So you have to wait now to what, September? I think it's October. I forgot. But I booked it, okay? But I booked it. Well, it's better than nothing. So, yeah. So, yeah, my... What are you getting? I'm not 100% sure.

I still want this bit covered. I think I always waited, I think, put it off because of my weight. I thought I was going to, you know, put my weight back on, you know, loads more than I have. And I haven't. So I've just come to the conclusion, this is my size and go with a tattoo of this size. Do you know what I mean? So I've got Mason and Morgan's name. But I want that more covered up.

And I still want the kids something. Because Mason's got different things of like, you know, like flowers and stuff like that. So I don't know how to incorporate that of it or... You want something to do with the kids, whether it's their name, whether it's a symbolism of something. Originally, I did want like a lion or a pack or... You quite like the dream catchers as well. And a dream catch on that. So whether or not that will all intertwine together, I'm not 100% sure.

I'm going to leave it with them. My little mind and hopefully they'll be great at that. But yeah, so I did. that that was good so he did that that was good he did well survive i was looking um at tattoo ideas the other day i'm getting the itch to have another one are you yeah but another big one well i don't know because i've already got a big one i know i've got one all up my leg haven't i yeah which is funny because we were uh this work thing that i was doing we done people bingo thing where i was like who's met someone famous share stories and i was like who's got a tattoo

and then i was like me everyone was like really i was like my tattoo is like i am fun you know Yeah, exactly. You might not think so, but I am. You look great to you and me, show me? Yeah. None of them is much, but yeah, I've got one that took 10 hours on my leg. Yeah, I was going to say, you've got a big one.

I think I'll have a bigish one. You know, like, you know, like your sort of style. Yeah, because your Mason and Morgan's probably like that size. So you're going to need something to cover that. In the size of it, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So if you're getting something to cover it, then it will be.

But, yeah, I haven't quite disappointed. side of but I've seen one that goes I want one that kind of starts on the back of like the bottom of my back top of my bum and up my half of that heat of the side yeah not the front though like up the side of my back and ribs yeah nice

in what sense in like as in like a I don't it's not but obviously butterflies or like a vine so actually I do want to get a butterfly incorporated in it because Rick's got one and my mum was going to get one because like I say my mum and dad have tattooed

vouchers for many years that they have to get around to booking it and getting something done and my dad's designed one um actually case in hells designed it yeah so he's got an idea of what he wants and then my mom was going to get something to do i don't think she was saying she was going to get a butterfly for all of us or something um and then she wanted us to get one to match and ricks already got one so um yeah i kind of somewhere in there somewhere in there or somewhere um it'd be nice to tie that in but no um i actually saw and it's not going to be this maybe, maybe not. I don't know if you ever seen,

you know, Charlotte Crosby from Geordie Shaw? I know who you're on about, but I have no idea about anything. She's got the typical one that loads of people got like the roses on the hip kind of one, but she's got one up her back exactly where I want it, and it's a dragon, which sounds a bit...

No, I don't know, but it sounds a bit weird. But it's just the outline, which is kind of what I like. And just the way it like flows and curves all in that air of the body, I think just looks really... smart and you could literally go wild with something so dragon wouldn't have been my first choice but I just like that one and I've actually looked at dragon tattoos and I can't really find another one that I actually like so it's just the way she's done it and whacking that out hey me want to see what dragons um so either that or I was trying to think of what else could I do that would

fit in that area and I've seen a phoenix um like the bird Phoenix that has all the feathers and stuff and the wing. I quite like the idea of the wings to go like up either side and then the feathers to come down my back a bit but that's a nice idea. Because like Phoenix is all about you know rising from the ashes and you know growing and all the things that we you know talk about better in yourself and all that. So I love the idea of a Phoenix. But would you have it in colour? Would you have any colour? You'd have it

all in the black or grey or whatever kind of thing. Yeah I'm not a huge I'm not a huge fan of colour in just life Yes My black and white outfit I don't usually have a little more colour You normally have a bit of pub Yeah you But yeah literally if you look at my wardrobe

It's black, white, grey, brown Maybe a little bit of green Maybe Plummer Yeah And even then it's like neutral Like boring greens So or the odd occasional bright green

But no No know what you mean with the tattoo though The tattoo Yeah So I don't know I love I love some colour tattoos when they're done really nicely but I don't know if it's for me I like admire it but

maybe not me or maybe I don't know the the colours of a phoenix I mean that's what I'm saying I think the colours of a phoenix I think they both could look again I think they both could look lovely I think you can get tattoos that look rubbish in colour and yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah my other ones don't have any colour apart from the girls eyes do have a bit of green in um I think it's faded a bit now. But obviously a lot of the tattoo is like that tattoo colour, which isn't far off. So yeah, no, just been thinking, but I've got that itch, so I might join you in October. Do you know what? Years ago, I'd seen at the tattoo shop, they drew, not they

drew, their son had drew a picture and one of them had it tattooed on them, like a little stick man or whatever. And I just love that idea. And Mason did one. I think I'd already had a picture. I thought, oh, I like that picture that is. Anyway, so I'd kept this picture from Mason and it's the same, not the same, but like a little stick picture of us. And I kept that I kept that picture for years and I've still got it in my purse so I might even get that

put on it in there somewhere. Well funny you say that because I've just seen a girl that I watch on a reality TV show she gets loads of little small ones so she's gradually like building a sleeve. I wouldn't get it but I do think it suits certain people. Yeah. So she's getting random ones and she's got things like she brought out a single so she's got like the bit that links to the song and

she was on the masked singer so she did like her thing for that so it is made up of stuff that she's done but she's just had just had a little stick drawing that her daughter drew of herself so she drew a picture of her and all her friends so she took her and she just got the tiny little stick figure

of her so yeah I really like I always have liked it I really like which I might do at some point in my life like obviously because we keep cards and stuff like my mum or dad's handwrite in of like a message that they wrote to me I might get that at some point

and I like the ideas when you can do like the finger prints yeah they overlap that's got to be hard yeah well I've actually seen quite a few times which I really like the idea of is they take a photo of your kids which might be a good one for you and so it's like the whole picture of like

a digital picture of their kids but they put it on like this software then they draw round the lines, the front line of the face and then they flip the picture so it's like a bit of a line drawing but it's the silhouette of the kids Oh I know what you mean like that

One of them Yeah yeah yeah yeah But some people do it really vaguely That you can't really tell But some of it's detailed enough Like you know exactly whose profile that is So I might have to If I see it on like Instagram again

I'll talk I haven't looked again I haven't even started looking again Yeah But now you have to But now I do I should really start thinking Because there's loads of things You can do

It's like when I ended up With the baby wolves It's because I went to them and I was like I don't want the typical like the clock with the time they were born or the feet or the hands which is lovely but I just didn't I wanted to make a bit different and then that was when I think I had shorts on she so she could see the tattoo that she'd done and she was like why don't you add the baby wolf I would never have thought of that. Yeah it sounds so simple and obvious but yeah she was like thing and then I was like yeah I like that because it's like my cubs. Yeah. I love it. I love it. I'll, yeah, if I come to my decision, because, like I say, it normally takes me a while, but I like the idea. So, yeah, I could talk 10, 11 years since I've probably had. Well, you haven't got Lexi, have you? No.

So, yeah, it's been a while. Yeah. She's probably like, hurry up, mum, sort me out. Sorry. So, yeah, now that would be nice. Yeah, yeah. And then what else did you do the weekend? So that was that.

That was the tattoo. Lexi had a party. Friends party. Friends party, oh, do you know what? She had such a good time. She was so excited to go anyway. What did they do? They went to Rio Safari, I think.

Yeah. And then went to that place that no parent likes, that Mwanda La Pasta place. Oh, the buffet place, yeah, yeah. So they went there, I think, and then they went back and had sleep over. But they just had such a good time and played. And she got a brilliant, I mean,

sleepover kit goodie bag thing and everything it was amazing i wish i'd gone to be fair um but what it's not a friend from school it's not a friend from a club it's not a friend you know who she sees every day um i probably made it more fun it was just really nice if you don't get to see someone for a while just remember as a kid like if you don't get to see that friend for a while they just got on so well all the all the girls got on well seen as they you know they you know they're not together every day they're not you know regular daily friends or whatever you want to call it um But, yeah, no, it was really, it was really nice for her to go, and she had really, really good time. So, yeah, that was, that was that as well.

Obviously, I say she had to sleep over, this is, I wouldn't, I wouldn't let her go anywhere. No, I wouldn't, I wouldn't let her go anywhere just to sleep over or, you know, if she didn't want to go. I wouldn't say, no, you've got to go, do you know what I mean? I'd have to, you know, say, well. Yeah, see, Kaysen's just had. an invitation in like the his class WhatsApp chat um and considering there's maybe like 17 kids the there hasn't been a huge amount of invitations for like birthday parties it's not something that like you know every month there's one yeah which there could be it changes as they get

older because yeah when you're younger you feel you have to invite the whole class as they get older yeah you kind of become they get their friends I think I don't know if there's like just because some people are in the summer or you know we didn't really know each other as much, you know, when they first started, obviously, that he's like four years deep now with this class. Yeah. So there's been a few more parties this year than any other year. So he's gone to, I think, one or two because they were his two closest friends.

And then one was the other week, but that was when me and Liam were away. So he was with my mum, so I didn't make her take him. So he's just got one. And he's not the biggest fan of birthday parties. I don't know, I don't know if it's just overwhelming, loads of kids, noise, he doesn't like birthday cake, he doesn't eat really any of the food normally. Yeah, so, yeah, so apart from seeing friends, which obviously is nice. The whole thing around a party he doesn't like.

He'd like to go and see his friends. Yeah. But the idea of what involves a party, which is all that, that he's like, no, can't be dealing with that. Yeah, yeah. So I've not really gone into. to really find out exactly what bothers him but just from experience of going to a few parties like he never wants to come out to do the birthday bit and you know the noise and stuff so I'm just guessing really I should probably talk to him a bit more but yeah he said he doesn't want to

go yeah so I'm stuck between why you think the reason is obviously that's why I'm guessing so it's like it's not just I can't be asked which if it was I probably would force it a little bit more yeah but with it being a little bit more like he just doesn't really enjoy it and it can, you know, be overwhelming. It's like, do I force him to go because it's his class and he should, you know, be involved and not be the odd one out? Or do I just respect that it's not his thing and just either not respond because it's a group thing?

And like you say, it's not like he's been chosen three friends that are going to a party. It's, oh, the whole class is invited, which is lovely. But, you know, they're not relying on him being, you know, only one of a couple to be there. Well, I think he's old enough now to know what he wants and what he doesn't want, what he likes and what he doesn't like in that sense. And I think that if it was like a really, like, close friend, you know,

like one of his, like, you know, because you're only really getting few, don't you, of friends and you've been in the school of class kind of thing. Then, then you would always just say to obviously that parent, you know, he's not good with loads of kids at parties, we'll do something on our own sort of thing. Yeah. But in a case of where I think that they've just invited, not just invited, obviously they've invited the class to be lovely and plight and that's lovely.

Then just say thanks for the invite, but sorry, we can't. Do you get what I mean? I don't think you should overthink explaining it or anything else. I think if it was someone closer. Yeah. You know, like actual, because otherwise I'd think, oh, why wouldn't? Yeah. You know what I mean?

If you're away, then you'd say you're away. You're not going to lie and then they see you in the supermarket. Do you know what I mean? Well, that's a possibility because I was just about to say, oh, sorry, can't make it. But now I'm second guessing myself. Yeah, exactly. They're going to find you, Bill. Because, like, well, my first kind of, like, decision is at what point do you make

them and what point do you don't? Because, like you say, he is old enough to make his own decision, but then at the same time, sometimes we know best and we should make them do certain things. Yeah, well, I think... But with this, maybe not. The reason, like you said, I think if, like you said, I think if you've realized over the different situations that that kind of environment he doesn't enjoy, why would you put him in it

is your child? Why would you make him do something like that? But we've seen him in certain situations. Yeah, but again, I think that's the hard thing. If you think of a class of 17 kids how mad and, you know, crazy that would be. You know, you can assess the situation and think, right, he's going to be alright here in this world, or he's not, you know? I think that you as a parent

and he as his age. You know what I mean? Well, like you say, we did go to one a month or so ago. and that was, you know, a lot of kids in a play place, which is very hectic. Yeah. And he did okay. He was fine.

So like you say, he's, it's hit and miss with him sometimes. But then I think he has to make that decision. Ah, so he went. Yeah. Exactly. So I think he knows, you know what I mean? He can deal with that situation and want to be there and want to enjoy it or not. You know what I mean?

For me, mine have never, mine have never. really said they haven't wanted to go to a party well one of them did um one of them did just to hide an invite from me because they didn't want to go into the party because again did they think you you would make them if they gave it to you I don't know what they thought I don't actually it could have just said mum I don't want to go I actually don't know what I can't I can't really remember the reason to be fair but um so when I did find out about it I think it was like another parent who would ask you go and I'm like I don't know about this pie and then when I'd said it it was like oh yeah it's on my book

but again it was just a thing of wasn't one of his friends it wasn't someone it was a generous invitation and that's lovely and that's lovely you know what I mean yeah yeah but it's not like only three kids have been invited and you're letting them down kind of thing it's just a group invitation like the party

he obviously just didn't want to go but yeah that was an experience of mine but then I was too late in finding out you know what to go to go and do anything anyway do you know what I mean and then I felt bad you know like that's why i'm thinking i'm going to have to like come up with like an excuse yeah for him not to go but like i say i shouldn't really because if if the roles were reversed and they said oh sorry we can't make it i'd have been all right well yeah i've been yeah i've been

invited on not we i've been like the kids have been invited on um uh parties before when we've been aware and obviously sorry we can't make it we're not there and you don't even one yeah exactly one or two people have already put that they can't make it there's more than a handful that I've said, yeah, we'll be there. So it's like, he's not going to be missed by the birthday child. So it's like, yeah, maybe I'll have a conversation with him. I think I'll try to encourage him to go because, you know, it's good to see your friends outside of school and don't be the only one to not be there.

If he's really, really adamant that he doesn't want to go, then I'm not going to make him. Yeah, because I do think if it was an other person or thing or situation that he would say, yeah, I would want to go. Well, exactly. we did go to one a couple of the other months. And one, so I think we've been to two, and they were his two closest friends at the time. Yeah, mine don't say no to parties.

Mine asks the others if they can go. So obviously, one's been invited. Oh, can we go? No, you haven't been invited. And then that becomes an awkward situation then. Do you know, because some people, like, bring all the people in. I've got a dropper off or take or a him off or whatever it is. You know what I mean?

I think luckily we're all kind of open enough to be like, you know, one's invited or go chuck them in They know your family You know what I mean So like all family friends And a lot of them have siblings themselves Yeah but also at the same time Then it becomes a lot

Like well yeah It's like if I invite you I've now got two or three children Come into the party At that point you don't have to Do you know what I mean Sometimes you don't expect it Especially when school you know

Or if it's like With us like you haven't got no choice Yeah We all come with one you know That's why I love But I suppose if it's like a boys party Then it's like Well Lexi can come if she wants

Yeah, it's one of them, isn't it, you know? And even, or even that, if I'm just dropping them off and I'm only genuinely just dropping them off and she's just with me because the other parent isn't there. Like, I'm not like, oh, can't you go? That's not what I'm doing. Yeah, but some parents do. No, I know, I know.

But like, that's not, you know. But that did remind me of that because Casey nearly didn't go to this one that I just said because it's, I read the invitation to him and it was fancy dress. Oh, God. So he didn't like the idea. Well, he's not a fancy dress kid anyway, but he was like, Mom, I don't want to go. And I thought it was because it was fancy dress.

I was like, oh, come on, Kaysen, it's your best friend. And he was like, but I don't want to dress up as a girl. He thought that he had to wear a dress. Ah, dressed up for fancy dress. He didn't really understand when I said fancy dress. He just heard dress. He thought he had to dress up as a girl. Oh, bless him.

No wonder he didn't want to go. So for like five minutes, we're like arguing, like, I'm not going. Kason, come on, it's your best friend. I know when he blurs him out Like I don't want to dress up as a girl I was like Did you really think I was going to make you dress up as a girl

To go to him back So that made me laugh So he dressed up as Where's Wally in the end When you're going to say something I was like a girl or something Do you know what I mean? No

But oh that was funny Love him Love him Love him Love him Love that So yeah, I'll give them the, I'll give them the option. It is, it is a difficult one.

It definitely is a difficult one. Well, it's like, we've had the conversation before when, like, the kids have been in sports for a long time and they want to quit now. Like, how much do you push them because you know, like, they're good at it or eventually they'll regret, you know, quitting or how much do you just let them make their own decision? It's like, sometimes they need the parent to be the discipline and the push to get through because you know it's best for them in the end. This situation is a bit different. It's minor. It's a birthday party. Yeah, that's like definitely.

I'm going to say, I've got loads to say on that one. That would definitely have to be. Should we pause there? Yeah, because I've literally thought I've got loads of things to say on that. Well, I know we've spoke about, like, Mason stopping football and things like that in the past. Yeah. And, like, even putting so many different clubs and all making the decision on whether they should stay in that club or not. Yeah, and I know that mom used to say to me, like, oh, I always buy you the stuff and then you never go.

And then, yeah, put in case in the summer club, he doesn't want to go, but do I force him, all these things. So we'll pause there. That's definitely a good one to come on to. We'll cover that because I'd like that advice because I'm at the age where he's starting to get his own mind and not wanting to do certain things and I'm battling with myself. I, your birthday party. When do I push him? When do I not push him? So we'll bring that to you another week.

And if any of you have kids in that situation or you've got something that you want our advice on, send it through. You can message Charlotte. You can message me. you can message the rising page and we will maybe give you advice in that session too. Yeah, well, try. What we can do is try. You'll get our opinion either way. Right, so thanks again for another week listening to us.

We enjoy it. We're still happy to be here and have you guys supporting us. Yes, thank you. And we will see you next week. Yes, you will. Like and subscribe.