The Rising’s Growing Together Podcast - What Happens When We Constantly Compare With SOCIAL MEDIA

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

Are you always measuring yourself against others online? In this thrilling episode of the Growing Together Podcast, the girls tackle the perils of comparison in a world flooded with filtered highlight reels! They kick things off with a spicy listener question about phone privacy in relationships, then dive into parenting in the digital age, navigating tech with kids, the joy of family gatherings, and the significance of celebrating your own victories. The conversation runs deep but stays authentic as the girls reflect on the societal pressure to keep up and the incredible power of focusing on your own journey.

Hi everyone. Hey, welcome back. Welcome back to another episode. Cheers to Thursday evening. Our Friday. Our Friday. No, tomorrow. Lucia, you're going to drink?

I was like, no. And I was like, ooh. I know what fill is in a fridge. Yeah, I always have these in my fridge. Shandy is a go-to. So easy to drink. Nice lemon. They're really, really professional.

Nice radler. They're always in my fridge, aren't they? Yeah, and I. Whenever anyone comes over. Yeah. Love fled, lovely. Welcome back, everyone. You always go northern.

No, I don't know. No, you always go make. Lovely. Probably that or you won't like saying that accent. I can't do anything else. I'm really not going to... I can't do the American accent a little bit. It was like just certain words.

It's like if you say gravy. Can't just... I know, we like, do you want grit? I'll probably think about now. Gravy. Yeah, we do say that, actually. Do you want what? Vegging grid.

Yeah. It's weird, doesn't it? Yeah. Well, a little accent. Right. So, before we need. move on to this week's episode, I want to bring you a viewer's question. Oh, nice. Yeah, we had, yeah, so off the back of what we spoke about last week

with the phone codes and partners and trust and all of that, we got a viewer question, which said, is your partner that always has their phone on silent hiding something from you? Oh, well, my house, if the phone's on loud, they get it, they get Tom to turn. it off. Yeah, because the noise just drives me. But that way they're playing a video, right?

So, no, no, no, no, no, just always. Any messages? You've got to think there's, well, if everyone's at home, there's four phones. Four phones in the house. Yeah. And,

uh, I don't know why. That's so busy phones because they are. But they're not, my phone's always unsilent, constantly unsilent. Um,

if I put it on loud because I'm waiting for a certain thing, like a call or a certain, do I mean, something, I'll, I'll put it on loud. But in that meantime, it drives me and Sam, I might hurry up because I just want to put it on silent. So if someone else is in the house and their phones are going off, like not the game,

like the messaging coming through or whatever, is pin you taking your phone off, please, can this, I think, so no, I wouldn't think the change. No, I agree. I think maybe like 10 years ago, maybe, because I remember, like, as a teenager, like when I was getting my first phones, it was you paid to have, like, a song as your ring time, really had to pay for it. first, then you could do it anyway. Oh, I had the text, do you remember? What was it?

Your bitch. You've got a text, slag. Or something like that. I don't know. You've got a text, you slag. That was it. You've got a text, you slack. It went off in India, wasn't it?

Everyone just looked at me, so they knew it was me. They wanted it. That was your pink razor on, isn't it? A big razor phone. Yeah, I think back in the day, when you, like, it was what song had you got as your ringtone, and it was like a thing to have it on loud, because wow I think everyone had it on loud

didn't you ever knew whose phone it was yeah yeah yeah now everyone has the same ringtone nobody changes it and it's jumping and the apple like go to it's the same and they're like they and they know whether it by the sound what app it's from yeah you know what's that and I have to text yeah so I actually can't remember the last time my phone was on loud

my phone's always on silent because it is fairly near me or I do check it you know fairly often so you know I don't miss much so always on silent and no it's not for them hiding anything I would like you say back then I think it was more the more it went off the bell like oh yeah

and it was like all the best bitch like how many ringtones can you have yeah I'm constantly changing the noise of my text I had the only ask a girlfriend person did you yeah so like for my dad I had like jump you know so we'd all wait

so it's like dun dun dun I can't go you know what's like the one about So I'll take age to answer the phone. Because I'm listening to the song. But yeah, all different ringtones are different people. But yeah, definitely now keep up silent.

The thing I would more question would be the screen. So when they put the screen down. Because that's not natural because that's the screen. Even if you've got a protector, you're not going to put your phone screen down. It's just not natural. No. So if you're putting it screen down,

that would be suspicion. like red flag what's going on I'm not I'm not joking because he does but it's just I don't think some people would do that but to me that's not natural I need to ask him why he does it I don't know if he knows he does it is there a reason why he does it yeah see to me it's not natural because I'd think about scratching it but then I'm I'm very careful with my stuff like I've got trainers that are 20 years old without mark on yeah yeah whereas Liam will scuffes in the first two days of way it's like as if he doesn't want to spend mid-finch I'm I wouldn't do it because I wouldn't want to, like, affect the screen.

Yeah. But, yeah, maybe some people, I've got protector, whatever. Yeah. Well, that's probably Mitchell on over. But, you know, like that, that for me, would be more. That would make me why even, why is the screen down? Or tilting the phone away from you. If we're both sat, like, next to each other.

Yeah. But you've tilted the phone that way. Yeah. Why have you turned the phone out? I do that with Mason. And he's, I'm his mom. He's close 18. He's got no thing. I was going to ask you this last week and I forgot.

At what point or what. age, do you not check his phone? Because obviously, when you're younger, make sure, like, they're using the apps properly or what messages are, like, at what point? I'm trying to not... There was something he, about 16, I think it's hard, because sometimes all the years just come into one.

I'm going to say he's about 16. It could have been early 17. I'm not 100%. I can't remember exactly what happened, but there was a point where I had to tell him to show me something in his phone, and I was so adamant on the fact that I'm going to look through your phone. I am looking for your phone. Yeah.

Because you are this age. I am your woman. And in this situation, I am going in your phone. Yeah. But now he's 18. No, I've got no remote in any of that, to be honest. You know, absolutely.

Like, so I'm saying, if I need something, I want to take a picture, I say, like, you could probably put the camera up. But, you know, even if I just want you to look at a photo on his phone or something, and I get it. And I'm like, oh, what's your pin? He'll just take it and put the pin.

And even that angle, isn't it? Just give me a pillow. He hide it from me. Like, you don't know what your mum's have. It's all normal, obviously. But otherwise, yeah, Morgan's very over. He's very much like me with his phone. He just doesn't really carry out of it.

Yeah, you're quite lucky with that. You don't really have to worry about it. Yeah, Alan's phone much. Yeah, but obviously as time goes on, Lex will be unable. But that, it'll be that. That would be on my aunt answer that. There's a lot of, like, billion happens at school, I think, regardless. But it's, like, more intensified now because you can't get away from it.

So if it's a serious issue, like kids are mean, I think, just in. general and some kids suffer more than others but when there's like serious bullying going on where it is targeted and it is purposeful and it is like affecting the child like they can't get waste break anymore you know when they ever at the age where they have a phone and it's like constant messages it's not like it's just at school yeah yeah so yeah that obviously there is a reason that you should be on top of that and you should know until an age where you don't really have answered you can't really ask you want it if you can't yeah I mean but that would that would definitely by answer that in my life back then on yeah it would definitely be a flag red flag of

why is it on silent now it just annoys me so just put your phone on site I don't even care to it is just please that yeah my friend's always on silent if I remember the last time it went off to be hurt yeah yeah so that that's a good point good question yeah thanks viewer yeah so last week or so what's been going on so Hayden is practically walking out he is he is practically got it You know, there's a few wobbles here and there, but he's got it. He's on the gun, not stopping, one side of the room to the other. Just when he gets excited, his legs get to... Yeah, when he's playing with Kaysen, or like, Kaysen's chasing and stuff,

he goes too far. So, yeah, he's still at the age where, you know, we have to be careful of him falling and hurting himself. But now he's walking, and he's swearing. Oh, Stephen? He doesn't really say much. He said Dad are a few times. but not actually, I don't think, realize it and calling me, A and dad, but just making noises.

Yeah, and he said, da-da. And he said, hi, yeah, and stuff a few times, like copying you. So he's not actually talking, but his new thing is just, oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit. Everything is, oh, shit. And I'm like, where did you get that from? I don't think he's saying it because he's even heard it. I think it's just, he's trying to, like, speak, and his new thing is it. Oh, shit.

It actually sounds like in context. It actually sounds like. like, oh shit, like very clearly. Like, even Casey went, did he just sweat? I was like, he did. That's it. One minute you're waiting for all these things and the next minute, they're walking, sweat.

You do wish it away a little bit. Like, like, wanted him to walk. Now he's walking. Like, now I was like, oh, he's getting frustrated. So I just wish he that you'd talk. But now he's swearing. So it's like, no, don't talk. Just don't talk.

Channel bit. Show a bit, boy. Slow down. Like, you think, is it from me? Do I say a shitload? Yeah, no. I did, that was my first thought is, oh God, is he copying, but no, I think it's just, and they keep saying this, this, this.

Yeah, they'd actually just, so he's sounds, and he's making sounds, like, oh, shit, I love that. His new favourite sound is, oh, shit. I'm not even just shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. So, yeah, there we have a swearer in the house. That's a little, we like, oh. Yeah, what about you, what you've been up to? Well, the twins over, didn't you?

Oh, yeah, I did. Oh, yeah, that was nice. I had the twins over, my nephews. I haven't eaten over all the time between her and Lexi. They are just, don't. Fresh is summer and they do not break up. And with the twins, it's more when they were younger. It was a bit hit at me.

So I think when I asked them to stay, they didn't want to, they wanted to go home. Yeah. And any time they would stay, it was because they needed to. And that was because the parents were working. Yeah. You know, so they asked me and Mitch when we actually went up to collect my niece, and we was in one car. So we were actually don't have enough room for in the car.

And then the little face is, and then we kind of looked at each other and I was like, well, if mommy can bring you, we can have you. So she did. So she bought them over. And it was just lovely. It was nice. Just they are the easiest children ever. They actually told me they were ready to bed. They're at like a hard age.

That's four. Yeah. Yeah, they know their mind, they know what they want. Yeah, they're easy. They are so easy. They're swimming. They're, yeah, they're swimming. So that was easy.

We didn't have a pool at the time because. You stood on out, yeah. So we went up to the community pool. And yeah, that was easy enough, straight in. Bedtime, they were telling me they were going to bed. And it wasn't like, all my children, I've had to rock to sleep. And even now, you know, like, like, like, you've a cuddle, which is nice. But obviously, it's just never just, okay, good night, cuddle by.

It's a longer period. And, yeah, with them, it was okay, and kiss cuddle. That was it, just like, good night. Bye, okay, go, I don't, I don't do it, that was it, gone. I was like, wow, no waking up, nothing, just, that was it. Easy, it was, but it was so nice to have them anyway, but also not because the parents were working or needed music. So even to them, it was a nice, say, surprise.

Because, you know what it's like, with my children, that, my children have always, I get too firm with sleepovers, but you seem to, they're sleepover or they sleep out more obviously when they're older. Do you know what I mean? No one really does anything when they're younger do that unless you are

because you need to and that's because you're working or there's an event of some kind of thing not just because if you want to do nothing or you want to go for dinner or move. And then as a kid you get told like, oh, in a couple of days you've got to grow there whereas when it's the juror of the moment, it's exciting. I think even for them, they were asking

thinking it was obviously going to be a knowing of way. Yeah, because it's like last minute. And even so we were, all saying, yeah, there was like, really, I was dead tonight, like, kind of thing. And they were so excited, so giddy. But it was lovely, really nice, really nice night and next day or whatever. And then, what else? Oh, my mom's birthday.

Happy birthday, Mom. Oh, thank you. Yeah, it was lovely. I went to see my mom yesterday. She booked a restaurant and she, like, ordered a big paella for us, like, they had something else. And it was lovely, really, really nice. Went to go? It was, it was just a bar.

It was, some of my mom knows. whose families took over a bar down the road to my mom's house that's all I can say I don't know where else is he like literally down that hill from my mom's house and it's there that's how I got there and that's where I'm done in Toro Vietko

but it was lovely it's nice lovely few hours celebrating with Yucamal and the family and their friends so yeah it was nice yeah I went out for a birthday lunch today hence why I'm a little bit more dressed up in the Nor yeah I know really a little bit more dressed up than Nor for the pod

and B. I went to a birthday lunch to my sister-in-law's. Her birthday did a few days but she's going to eat them up the day after. Oh, happy birthday shop. Yeah, happy birthday. Early birthday. So we went out for a lunch, like a ladies' lunch today and then we've got a family barbecue on the weekend. But it was nice. She went to Browns,

which is a bit fancy. They had a charity lunch on. So it was like a held event thing. That was what you went to. That's what we were doing. She's seen it and she was like, let's have it for my birthday. Yeah. It was nice. It was 19 euros for C4s, which I think is cheap for Browns anyway. And out of the

19, they give five to the charity. Oh, that's brilliant. So you're basically paying 14 for lunch, start a main and dessert. We nearly had a hashtag last time we went for dinner there, didn't we? Well, before, we did. I sat in the same booth that we had dinner. Four of us, it cost us 200 quid. And today it cost me 19 euros. Do you know what I mean? I see the cocktails on top. So yeah, probably like a tenor a cocktail. But it was worth that then in a way, you know, it's nice to... So if we'll ever go again, we'll go exactly that. We'll go for lunch.

But it was nice because, you know, like, a fire room is going to charity and then she come round and we bought like an extra fire, the like raffle thing. And she watched how much... It was the one in San Miguel Finker, Kast... Kastelana, something like a castaneda. Lera? Something like a castanane. For all the animals and stuff.

Oh, nice. Yeah. They've been going for a long time. Yeah, so I didn't realise because I recognised the daughter who goes to Kaysen's drama club on a Saturday So I recognised her and then I was told it was her mum's charity that she runs So yeah, it was really nice, they ruffled off loads of things as well Good cause, so bottles and I won something small too

I won something, yeah, so Jenny won something and I won something and a table of six of us I love that Yeah, I'm going there next time, you should have been able to be in I'm going to be, though. It might as to win something. I get dinner. I think they're going to do another event, maybe in August, if not in September.

That sounds good. Yeah, we'll keep an eye out. Yeah, it's always good for... Follow the thinker Castellera. I'm going to say Castellana, but I could be run. I'll search for it, and I'll put it in the show notes. You want to follow it on Facebook if you're local, and then if you want to support it, then just come up to the next charity dinner, which was really nice.

But it was good vibes. They had nice music in the background, like... Yeah. It was a nice afternoon. Nice. That's good then. So yeah, did that. And then my natural joan finally arrived. Yes. I had to message the company until I never received it. And then to be fair, inside me, they went, oh my God, apologies, you shouldn't have by now. We sent another one out this morning for you. And it's come. It took a while. I very nearly had to message it again. But as I was thinking about it, it came like that day. I've been using it for the last couple of days because my spray ran out. So I was like, right, now's the time to use it. I was going to wait. you know, to change the international in August, I was thinking, hmm. Yeah.

But no, all good. I actually really like it. And I didn't think I would because I don't like roll on because I find it like wet. Yeah. Whereas this is more like a wax. So you put it on. It actually goes on so smooth.

And, you know, because there's a woman you shake. It feels like moisture on us there. Instantly, it's practically dry. And, yeah, I have, I'm not been sweating. Because this is a, this is a deodorant. So it doesn't stop you sweating. It's not an antiperspirant. So the sprays block you sweating.

It's to stop you sweating. An antiperspirant. But a deodra, which is what this is, a natural one, this just makes when you sweat smell nicer than... Okay. So you still sweat. See, I'm like sweater, so I'm all right. So I am, aren't I?

That's the thing. I use one that, I don't know, I've got anything like boots or supertro or whatever, that you put on when you go to bed, actually. and then you wash it off and use your normal deodorant and you only do that for like a week or sometimes two weeks and then you haven't got to use it then. Right. And I think that actually blocks you sweating

because that was my thing was that especially not in the summer it's not as bad it's more winter. The patches and I hate it. Like I really really hate it. But yeah because in summer you can just wear a little time. He doesn't matter so much. In winter when you're wearing sleeves and you shouldn't sweat because it's not hot. But at the side time

I don't want to be drenched and I'm not you know so that that's a help for me but at the same time I still have to change Joachers anyway because I feel like I get to a point of one and then it doesn't work anymore and you tried like just when you ran out and it worked fine, fine, but I don't know if that's just the change

do you know what I mean? Yeah, maybe your body just gets used to go because I've used one and then it doesn't work with it and then I have to use change for another one and then it works for a bit and I just use that because it was there and I was like, oh wow like I didn't have any thing for it

so I'd be, I want to try this but at the same time I still might use it alongside the one that just I know it's kind of contradictions it so but just just stop it for the fact of one that you've got you still have to use with any drone anyway you might as well use that one and they

use a natural wardrobe yeah I think so because I also have this thing of the pH level I can't I have to use pH neutral soaps and stuff because if I don't that really goes against me it's really weird some people are affected by that like I've never really

had sensitive skin or sensitive any pain so I can use any products and I've never had a reaction to any... I didn't even know that was the thing it was only because I went to the doctors about it and they was just like no, you're actually cleaning too much in a way

you need to shut out on the... Yeah, exactly. Like acidic... Yeah, yeah, you're honest. So when I learned that, this was years and years ago. Yeah, so, yeah, I'd be interesting... I'm glad you've received it. Yeah, and I like it.

And it sounds good. Sounds good, yeah. So I bought a three. I quite like the son of all of them Liam wasn't keen on one but I didn't really know what to order so I ordered one that's like a cottony fresh one which is what I got a juice in

that's the easy one to go for that sounds really nice I've got like a minty one and I've got like a tropically like citrusy one The minty one don't make you like I haven't tried it Well I tried a minty shower gel And that down there

Yes Yeah that's that the bold brand I don't know I don't know I wouldn't have bought it It's obviously what Some one I think Yeah, exactly. But then surely they find out

as well. I didn't ask. I just didn't use it again, obviously. But at the time, it feels like there's a... I don't know what it feels like because it's like a burny cold thing, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is, it's like that vapour.

Yeah, the feeling. That's it. Is that when you drink cold water after having a minute? Yes, that's the feeling. That is the feeling. A lesson well learned on that one. I was actually watching an episode of Friends the other day

and she walked in and the couple were in the bathroom and she was like if anyone here they're like just in the bathroom she's like what are you doing they're like we've got some vapor rub in some places because she was ill so she had vapour rub on yeah but it's that minty feeling that yeah exactly got some me oh well I'm glad to wrap her someplace oh I'll see how that one goes yeah so um topic of the day yeah so comparing I think that's a good place to start I think um it's a huge topic We all can bear And comparing everything

Comparing kids To wear kids Comparing your relationships Or the relationships Comparing your job Yeah Comparing your house Your car your life

Everything And it most of the time Doesn't make you feel better What you wear I know what I mean You could be like You could be of a You could have achieved something

And be so happy with yourself And then you see something of someone And it just And it knocks her down And there's no there's no what I'm hardly in the thing but you know what I mean

there's no one there's no one to compare yourself to apart from yourself yeah I think it's I think you should only compare yourself to yourself you should only try to be

better than you was yesterday yes but it's easier to have been done it is because we even do with our own children like you say you know you've got more we've been your child

or even against other kids that is very very hard like especially having a baby like oh were they they walk in before that one are they you know doing things before that one.

Yeah, they're doing more than my one or my one is a bit slower, whatever it is. And they're at your kids' ages, it's like, well, they were better at that at school or they were better at this as sports or they, you know, were more mature or more sensitive or, you know.

And also with social medias, I feel like... The highlight real of someone's life. Yeah, and I just feel like that it's... Most of it's not even 100% real for a start. No. So by looking at that stuff

and comparing to that stuff anyway, is not the way anyone feel better. No, do you know what I mean? And people only post the good stuff. Like, I do like this bit of a shift with social media because it was just highlight stuff. There are a few celebrities that have jumped on the bandwagon of that's not authentic.

Here's my life sometimes, but then here I am, you know, ball of my eyes out feeling fat because I've due on my period. This is life. Yeah, and that is life. Yeah, exactly. So there is a little bit more authenticity. Yeah.

But there's still a lot of folks. So much. Even like you say with, you know, well, oh, they've got a house and a car and I haven't, for example. Or now I'm married and I'm not. And, you know, I always thought that I really needed to have those things because like you say... That's... It's like a natural checklist, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And if you haven't, then you're not doing well. Yeah. That's how you think, you know, makes you feel. I know people that haven't bought a house here and they are like really pushing and like that's what's going to make them feel better. Once I'll get that

then... And once I get that in, then I'll be better. Does that... Does that house define who you are and what you... You know what I mean? It doesn't, actually. And if you're going to... And yeah, it's nice to happen. They are achievements in life. Don't get me wrong. They are achievements.

If that's what you want. And I feel that I've done things in my life that actually I didn't want to do but like you say it's just how I think you know like people say you should I'm completely went against the ground with this one

but obviously you know go through school you know get your career find your partner find you probably then on the opposite receiving because only like having a baby 60 of being compared to being looked down to

like because that's what happened yeah it was a very much even if someone didn't say it was more of a thing whenever you're saying like going to school when Mason was young because you were very very visibly a lot younger than the other parents, you felt like people would give you funny looks.

Yeah, and that I wasn't as good of a parent. As good as they would have been because I was young. Yeah. You know what I mean? Which is funny because, you know, like I would pick you up there

with probably one of the best ones like... Yeah, I think I've done all right. I think I've done all right. Look at Mesa, like a great 18 year old. Yeah, I think I've done all right. So, but even so, you know, even sometimes I have to, between me and Mitch, not comparing with each other,

but, you know, like, things that we say about other people or things like that. Just step back a minute. First of all, you're comparing yourself with someone who has had another decade on their life for a start or they've had, you know,

other opportunities or different ways. You know, these are the things. This is our story. Or lived at home without kids for 10 more years. You did. For example. But we had an... That's a big thing, actually.

Like, because I feel like I follow a lot of of, like, other coaches and a lot of business owners and entrepreneurs and people I look up to and things that I want to do. But I have to remind myself, like, when I'm looking at, like, our podcast or when I'm looking at post and I'm like, oh, that can be better or I want that to be nicer. And I'm like, right, I'm comparing myself to their 10th year in business. And we've just started. Exactly. And usually we do. We usually, I know, we're comparing to something that doesn't actually, can't really compare. No. It's like,

apples and oranges, they're not the same. Exactly. They're a fruit. They're a human. That's about it. But everyone's situations are completely different. And I think if we all just reminded ourselves of that a bit more, we would Yeah, we'd put less pressure on yourself. And that's from anything, like literally anything. Every, everyone's life is different. Everyone's, what they want is different.

You know, so for me, I feel like my achievement is the fact that we can go to work, my children can go to school, we come home and we can all have dinner together at the table. I mean, summer goes out of the window. Yeah. There's no dinner. Dinner goes out of the window. But, you know, just that for me to have a roof over our head, whether I own it or don't own it, that I can put food on the table. that I can put food on the table in some sort of way. Sometimes it will be a lovely steak dinner

and sometimes it will be jacket-tater and beef chicken nuggets and chips. Exactly. That's why I let it out tonight because they're already cooking chicken nuggets, chips and beans and that's the dinner she wanted was a kidney dinner, do you know what I mean? That and sitting at the table and talking

and that for me and they're going, all, everyone's going to bed with, you know, happy head, full bellies, whatever you want to say. That for me is, that's all you should anything else of that, for you, be prouder. Do you know what I mean? Because everyone's on different, different, even your bestest friend,

even your bestest friend is on a different journey and a different path and a different place. Yeah, you know? Some people have started that journey and so they're ahead on that journey and some people haven't started that journey, but they're on a different journey, so they're ahead on a different part. Yeah. And like, so some people are juggling kids and work.

Other people are focusing on work. Some people are focusing on kids. It's like there's just a lot that's involved. And, yeah, depending on how you grew up, what help you've had along the way, what opportunities have come. Yeah. And I've never had it easier. Some haven't.

Yeah. But at the same time, it's your journey. Yeah. And I think if you don't compare anything, unless it's on your own, of your own achievement. So like you said, I can compare with myself from five years ago. Yeah. And I've achieved, you know? I do think that sometimes, like, you know, when we were in our old house

and then we knew that we were getting this house, and it was like, oh, I can't wait to move in. And obviously we did renovation and stuff before we moved in. It's like kind of actually almost car with. Basically not the house. Not the house half down, yeah, from renovations. When we built this house, like, you know, you're just constantly, like, waiting to get into it.

And then it was like, then on a sudden, now I'm in it. Now it's like you move the goalpost And I think one thing for me That I want to get better at Is celebrating the wins Because you know If you look back to where you were five years ago Then you know

Most people have achieved a lot in five years Or you know you've had a focus on something else And if you haven't achieved things on your list There's a reason for it You should be proud of whatever you've got through And I also want I think we are But I also want more people around me

and like you say is becoming more with celebrities to be more real yeah do you know what I mean if you're having a shit day or you didn't

you couldn't be asked doing that then but you did it the next great but be honest do you know what I mean we're not all you know

we're not all going to get up every morning and be like yeah I'm going to do this because most mornings I'm like oh for God I'm not a morning person

I'm also in the summer because I can't still still like there guys do you know what I mean so like if everyone was around us a little bit more real we can still achieve things here with telling each other

that oh do you know what you know I had a promise shit day yesterday kind of thing or this didn't quite go to plan and that failed yeah you know people don't share the family no and it's okay because that's where yourself grows on does that I mean well I watch a lot of

like YouTube and a lot of podcasts with business owners entrepreneurs and every single one of them is like don't give a shit about what people think don't carry about people's opinions and fail and fail quick because the quickly you fail the quicker you realise how to do something right I love and I might have this multi-million pound business now but I failed 46 businesses before I bought to this one exactly and they're so comfortable with saying it but so many people don't no and you really realise that

most people's mindsets of these really hyper-successful people, it is just about, well, I'm just going to give it a go. I'm just going to give me my best shot. I'm not the smartest person in the room, but I'll work the hardest and I'll give it a go. And most people, they're like, there's no secret, there's no trick to it. It's literally, I got up and I started. And I figured out that long way.

My story, I can say my story is like that just to get to my career, especially in dentistry anyway. Yeah. Because I was a very young woman. So I feel like a lot of people wrote me off anyway. But I put my head down. Even when I was pregnant, I did a, you know, like a beauty course to make sure that I was able to do, to offer something to earn money.

Have a career that's a bit around, yeah. Then I worked in bars and restaurants and I learned that thing with, you know, people skills and just general patients that you have that you need. Well, that's it. People like talk bad about being a waitress. I did that for years and it's like... It's probably one of the best. jobs I had to learn a lot of just life things as well.

You know, like obviously patients or common sense. Stress. Common sense is something that I've found. Dilling and rude people. Yeah, all of that, yeah. Yeah, all of that kind of things or not. But then I went from then to obviously falling into a dentistry job. That wasn't in my head for a career or anything.

You worked in a tattoo shop first? I did work in a tow shop first, didn't I? Yeah. I did. I did have a lot of tattoos. I didn't know I was going to come out. I don't have a camarader. They are all covered up.

Yeah, I. Yeah, do you know, what's in a tattoo and piercing shop? Do you know, I love that job. I love that job so much. Looking back now, I'd never let my door do that job. But I loved it. I absolutely love that job. Yeah, I do know why I did a tattoo shop?

I've got a few tattoos, got a few piercings with that. I think even they came to, when my mom and dad's bar once, I was saying, oh, it's fun, oh, you'll have to reappearst it. So they came to the bar and just did it in the bar. So did your dog date. That to your reception job at the dentistry? No, but my, the one in the Taoiseach. Yeah.

Tauch shot was pre-Mafson. I don't think I was like probably old enough to have a job, to be fair. No, you were about 15. I'm kind of, 40. I was going to say, probably more 14. Yeah. Yeah. So then from there, well, I was in school.

I didn't work. I just did the bar sometimes, didn't I? And then, dentistry wasn't until, obviously, after Mason. That was a lot, that was, like, in my 20s. Do you know what I mean? So, or something like that. Yeah, it was because.

It was before Morgan, because you went into. It was because my, I did, I had a, I had a dentistry jump away a couple of years before, so I might have been 19 or whatever or 20. But then when I started the next dentistry to actually that got in the next clinic, sorry, that actually got me into, right, I'm going to go to step further, yeah.

And they actually rang me on my 21st birth, I was Arbitha. So obviously it was 21 from then. Yeah. But then I didn't finish school, I had to go back, not back to school, but I had to go back and get, you know, to go to access course,

to get onto the, to, into the uni. Yeah, but you get on me. You've done a lot of years first. Yes, what I'm saying. So then you did that. So I remember you studying while working, while I was being kids. Yeah.

And I'm pregnant. I had to go, like, lock myself away in the house just to try and have time to do. But I would then be in my room crying because I can hear Mitch taking the kids out, you know, doing fun things because he's trying to help me. Trying to take the children out to get out of the house. So yeah, I'd try it. But I hated that I was upstairs. Lopping the moves. Yeah, because I wanted to be with them.

But I knew how I did it. Yeah, do you know, that's what I'm saying. Did you have to sacrifice? Yeah, I did have some sacrifice. And I've called friends and help, but I can't do this. me. I did. You couldn't help me. I helped you miss out of it. Some of, you know, like, I was such a thing of I can't get, I can't do this.

I'm not clever enough for this. You've not ever had the confidence in your academic ability. No. So that's, practically, give me a patient. I'll get it done. I'll tell you everything clinically and, you know, of everything what I'm doing and explain. You've had a lot on the job. Yeah. But you never have a confidence to pass test. No, I'm not, I'm, and that's what you have to do in order to take it to the next. I mean, I mean, the access, it course. I was pregnant and everyone was looking at me going into this school to do this access course like I was I was ready to go kind of thing I was big enough to say I was pregnant yeah and even then I felt a bit judged you know yeah but like you say I did that didn't

stop you no you know like me at doing that coaching course at 8-1s pregnant that access course I didn't pass that access to do it again I had to do it again I had to wait a year later you did so what I did was I got a tutor I got a Spanish tutor to help me with my maths and my language, you know, which is like Spanish literature. Yeah. I can speak Spanish. I'm fine with everything. Yeah, but it's like, it's a dick completely.

It's a completely different thing. Maths, I've never been kidding anyway. So I had a tutor and I was still working so I had to go in between work. I remember getting a fine on the way from my tutor to work, but eating a packet of Chris while driving. It must be 40 quid. I've been a packet of Chris while driving. Can you believe that?

Noughty girl. I know. I was still on the hand. I wasn't eating the packet of crisp. I was just eating the packet of crisps. And I got fine. So yeah, it wasn't an easy word. I have to say, I did fail a lot,

but I got there in the end. Do you know what I mean? I really do you. I think it really takes guts to do something again after you fade it. Yeah. Because it's like that analogy of how many times kids fall over when they learn how to walk. And they just try again.

Yeah. And they try again and they try again. And they just don't know any different. Exactly. Keep trying. Like, you're okay. Ebby get.

Yeah. But then the minute you get a little bit older, it's like the first time you can't. That's embarrassing. I'm not doing that. Yeah. I'm not doing that. I felt like that after the first one because I even,

I think I said this to you before, I sat in the exam, opened like the page up and was like, am I in the right room? I didn't. I genuinely thought I'd walk. Because there was a different, I was a different exam. I genuinely thought I'd walked into the wrong room.

Like, I was, whoa, I don't know what I'm doing. Because it wasn't dentistry. Yeah. It was, and even then, dentistry, I sort of learnt layman side. So when it goes into, you know, the vocabulary changes. Sitting in an exam is very, very different. Yeah. So that was an experience.

Leo would say he's not academic. And that's why when we went to college, I did A levels. And he started a first year of A levels. But then he went to a B-tech to do sports. It was all more practical. Yeah, practical. And then it was coursework.

So you could actually prepare and you can write. Like, his memory and studying for a tech, because test doesn't actually show that you know what you're talking about. It literally shows

how good is your memory. Well, that's where probably might all start. We all get compared on the same paper. Yeah. No. We're not the same. Nobody is the same.

Not one single person. Not even my children are the same. You know, so, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think I'm more telling myself this. Yeah. Not that I do it.

Actually, I don't do it so much, to be fair. Yeah. It's more like maybe Mitch or the kids, you know, that kind of thing. I'm just like, just see what you've got and just take a minute. Yeah. You know? But I think it's only really took me to my 30s to get that comfortable. Yeah.

I think I heavily compared myself with my 20s. And, you know, it's funny because most people looking at me would be like, what's your problem? like on paper I did everything in the right order at the right time and I've done really well but I would still compare myself

and I would still feel like I'm not with now I think as well because I think when we do compare we see that whoever we're comparing to got there so easily and actually they probably didn't nobody has many times they're like oh their life so easy they're so lucky

oh I've had that to me before yeah I think we all have because we went to a private school private school you know like that kind of thing yeah no no First of all, I left the private school anyway So they haven't helped me in any way to show before Apart from find friends

English-speaking friends And it was myself in me Who got me where I am You know, who we are Yeah And that's important So you've got to remember who well Yeah, no, I think it took me

And what you really want That's the other thing I think I spent my 20s Heavily comparing Pushing myself for things that I thought I needed to have tick, tick, tick, job, title, like I say, certain pay, house, all those things, tick, tick, tick.

And then... Was you content? Well, in the moment, because I am someone who strives off achieving. Yeah. Oh, for a while. Yeah, that's for a little bit, you know, and I don't think I've ever really paused to understand and to know, is that what I want? am I going into uni

because I want to go to uni or am I doing it because everyone else is like what I should do yeah exactly and it's good it's good to strive and push yourself it's not a bad thing you need self-awareness and it's for the things that you really want yeah you know because

you know if it is spending all your money on a really nice car if that is genuinely what you're interested in if it's designer bags if it's specific holidays you know if it is just working to the point to have the balance to be around and have dinner

with my kids every evening. Whatever the thing is for you that genuinely brings you joy you should do. But you have to have the self-awareness and you have to take the time and the space to really look inwards and be like, what do I want? Because I think I spent a lot of years and I think that's what kind of took me to you know, my late 20s, early 30s of what am I doing

and walking away from a career when I was about to have a promotion after seven years. I was burnt out but I think I was just a bit lost because I'd pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed out of that what am I doing? Is this even what I want? What am I pushing for?

Yeah, I don't pushing too. Exactly. So before you spend seven and eight years in a career, 10 years in a career and be like, oh my God, I mean, you know, I stepped away from it, I've gone back into it, different company, it's, you know,

I do really enjoy it. Now I'm happy and it's what I want. But I think it took me a bit of time and my age to mature a bit to actually go, hold on a minute, it doesn't have to be the tick, tick of what society tells we have to have. What makes me happy? And I think that's why people say your 30s are better. Like, it's this big thing of, oh my God, I turn 30. And I felt that at first. Even though I had quite a lot of achieved things by that point, I'd, you know, got married, bought a house, had a baby. Like, I did things by the time I was 30. But actually,

when you wake up the next stairs, that, oh, I'm just 30. Okay. It's fine. Everyone's think it's fine. Yeah. And there is this guy that I follow who's Gary Vaynerchuk. He's got a huge media company now. He started very small, posting YouTube videos on his family's little wine company. And now he's a huge, you know, big motivational guy, has his own company and everything.

But he's so straight talking. And I saw him video the other day and it was like, how old are you? And because he does talks and I speak to the order of, how old are you? I'm 37 and I'm 37. just this and oh my god and i don't want to do it and he went you're a baby you are a baby he he went whether you do it when you're four you're 50 or 60 you're telling me you're a baby like give yourself time yeah he went i'm 50 now and i feel so young and i've still got so much to do and then it's like yeah take the pressure off yeah oh you don't do everything by 30 and i think

your 20s are for you know trying loads of different things you know have i'm making mistake. Have a hundred different jobs, make mistakes, figure out what you like, what you don't like. Traveling, like, I don't think I did enough of that. I, I feel like I got serious super quitting. So if I was to redo it or if you are in your 20s, that would be my only advice. You know, stay at home as long as you can, have as little responsibilities as possible and just try things. Yes. My mum, that was advice that my mum did give me, which I didn't listen to as you, you know, the many you get out of uni, change your job every six months because you have no idea what jobs are out there. You don't know what you like. That's really good

advice. So yeah, counter to most people's beliefs, which is staying a job as long as you can do that looks better on your CV. Job hop and see what you really like. Yeah. And if you do obviously fill, they don't see that? And then you work on that, don't you? So your 20s, I personally believe, are for figuring it out, having fun, exploring, no responsibilities. Your 30s are for understanding what you want, what you're good at, and for and for going for making money and doing what you enjoy and what you're good at and getting paid for it and then spending your money however you want to spend your money yeah and then hopefully by that point you 40 some 50 we're working it out by the yeah you're

chilling like what you better be there's all you better be no I am I agree with all of that I think we all I think yeah I think we all compare in different ways you know no matter what it is it anything yeah anything at all social media doesn't have society doesn't help yeah so I'd say to that just do that to it do you anything yeah do you know what helped me actually is I went through my social media and I unfollowed a lot of people hmm celebrities people that I knew just unfollowed people that were that I even felt was fake and phone yeah just chat or just post shit post for boasted yeah or just celebrities that yeah you you don't really bring up yeah

So I followed people that just didn't bring me joy to see stuff Or, you know, maybe it would make me compare a little bit. I unfollowed loads of those people And I followed people that are inspirational that are further in their career or the LIO and me. But you know what? This happened and that happened and it wasn't an overnight success. Yeah, you've now seen me in the media for six months

But it took me 20 years to get to this point And you're only hearing about me now, you know, real people that are that it's funny because depending how people do it you go from comparing to being inspired by it and that's what you need to be inspired by things that you look at so if you do like social media

feel your social media with stuff that inspires you rather make you feel shit because you're looking at something that's probably not 100% real or true anyway so it's yeah city to compare when you and look at it yeah so

I'm grateful as much as you can I think that helps being grateful for what you have what you're working for what you want I think we said this in one of our first podcast I've got to the point where I am super grateful for what I have there's still loads of things that I want to do

that I want to achieve that I want to buy and I know I'll get there I've got that confidence in myself that I'll get it at some point and I'm just grateful for I am as we go along and while we strive for what we want yeah I agree I definitely agree

should we end it on a quote why wouldn't we build Why would we... Why don't we love a good friend? I love a good friend. I like your quote. I hope you this inspires some of you to not compare. So remember, your grass will never get greener by focusing on someone else's lawn.

Sometimes you might even be kept comparing your lawn against someone without realizing that their grass isn't even real. That is it. That is it. Yeah. So refocus your energy. on your blessings, goals and growth. Right there. Is that the bit for me that...

Pen drop. I'm not going to drop the mic. Sorry, my hand's empty. No, it's true. You look at someone else's... It's that, the lawn bit for me. And, like, actually, it could be fake. You're comparing it to something that...

Or to people that aren't actually happy with what you have. They look like they're happy. And they go home to an empty house, no people, no friends, you know, or friends and family. me that they don't even like. Exactly. So, yeah, no, be

happy of what you got. Yeah. Yeah. Be happy. Stop comparing. Right. So another wrap on another episode. Thanks again for following, watching. Getting involved. We've got... It is involved. Thank you. We have got a few.

So anything that you guys want to ask us, or if you've got a topic of the week you want us to talk about, that's getting it through. And we'll be happy to comply. Yeah, come hit us. Yeah, help us up. Bye.

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