The Rising’s Growing Together Podcast - What REALLY Happens When You Lose Patience As Parents

Episode Date: August 21, 2025

Parenting is hard, Especially when it comes to patience, discipline, and different parenting styles. In this episode, Billie and Charlotte share real stories about raising kids, handling family celebrations, and finding balance between being strict and letting children enjoy their childhood.We talk about losing patience, the importance of teamwork in parenting, and why kids learn most from our actions. From birthday celebrations to hair transformations, this conversation is full of honesty, laughter, and lessons for parents everywhere.

Welcome back. Hello, welcome back everyone. I'm Billy. And I'm Charlotte. Welcome back to another episode of Growing Together. Hello. And for those of you that only really know me from the podcast, I'm now no longer a ginger.

She's not. For those of you that know me, know that my hair colour changes a lot. A lot. But I counted. I actually had ginger hair for 10 months. This was a long time. You stuck to this one, didn't you?

I did not expect to have it for that long. And you kept it up with the, because it was quite a lot of hard work. Yeah, I'm lucky for saying that I change my hair colour a lot, I only really go to hairdressers a couple times a year. Yeah, because you do it yourself with the maintaining, don't you? Yeah, or like if it's dark, then I get it done and then it stays. Or if I get blonde in it, then I might go back once or twice

to get like the right amount of colour and top up and stuff. But then I'll keep that for however long. And then until I change my hair colour completely. So I don't really do much upkeep, but the ginger took, Yeah. Like every two months really. But you stuck with it. But I stuck with it.

Ten months. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually quite liked it. I've, yeah, I liked it. But I really like you like this too. Yeah. I think I'm quite, yeah, I was going to say, I'm quite lucky. You are lucky.

It's quite annoying, actually. You wouldn't dare change your hair color. You might, you might suit different colours. Might just get less highlights here and there, that's about it. You would never dare to do it. You might, but it's never going to happen. My mother-in-law's, like naturally blonde with blue eyes and when she went dark for um i think she was dark for a couple

years really suited i have been because your eyes pop not you have actually when we was younger like that dark that you've yeah yeah without without a little picturing yeah yeah yeah not for long and not in your adult life i don't know if it was i don't know if it was maybe my mom i think it's little comments isn't it that stick with you as well yeah i think my mom said i might look washed out but then again it was probably a teenager and i was covered in probably Probably massively hot over. Yeah, or anything, you know. Or yeah, when it was the foundation covering the lips.

It was, and I think it was that time. So, that's probably why I didn't look washed out. So, yeah, we've kids' birthdays done, had Lexi's birthday, lovely time celebration. She nearly watched the episode the morning before a birthday with a present. And you were like, yeah, I can say it because she won't watch this till after. Well, she started. And Morgan Hats literally fast forward.

Thank God for Big Brothers. Yeah, I know. Well, actually, so yeah, so we had a fab, fab celebration. You know, like you feel like are the celebration going to stop because it's like, okay, and here we go again and here we go again. Well, yeah, she had a few different parties. Yeah, seen as we were going to not do much, she had like four separate celebrations.

So, but on the actual day of a celebration, bless her, it was just us and we went to the beach on the inflatable. On her actual birthday. On an actual birthday. And she had a little incident and we ended up in the doctors and then the hospital getting x-rays because she'd hurt a finger. It turned out. She hadn't fractured it or anything, but she's torn the muscle.

Very sore. It's very inflated. But she took it like, I knew she, do you know what I mean? She's such... She don't complain. No, she doesn't. But you could tell when she'd done it, that painful cry of... Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But she finished the time when her inflatable. She didn't want to come off, by the way. She was just more like this. Typical. I know. So that was here and there. And then we've had Mitch here and there ill, which Mitch is never ill. So that was another trip up to the medical for the magic injection that we have over here.

You know, when you're feeling shit, basically. This magic injection. She didn't just make you feel on top of the world for a while. So, yeah, we've had, oh, and we went to Bella Medina. Went to Bella Medina. That was really nice. Yeah. A big shout out to an activity we did.

We did down there called Prison Island. The kids were so excited to go to it. We went to it last year as well. Is that like an escape room? Like an escape room. As you can see, I am covered in cuts and bruises. I keep leaning on, oh, I've got a bruise there now. And oh, I've got a bruise there because we take it very seriously.

Very active holiday. Very, very. and it's just so much fun it really is it's a mix of like crystal maze is escape roomish thing so much fun and then the other side we've got laser tag as well which is amazing so really really really good big shout out to them they're fab and you know what we didn't do any anything like uh you know going to like fancy restaurants or nothing like that to fair they're all the bloody same anyway But we did more of a very chill dinner-ish, made our own. Did you know how many times we went to look for something for lunch and went,

no, we went to the supermarket, grabbed a bag of bag of cheese, bag of crisps, literally ripped the bread, so like Spanish-y, you know. And we loved it. That was what we needed and wanted. That's all lot of like people want when they come on holiday here. Exactly. Oh, baguette and Ali-Oli. Exactly that.

So we did that. And on the beach, we spent every night, like the nights on the beach. um having races which i am i'm i'm killing now i don't do much exercise so all this felt like a proper adventure holiday for a few days um so running on the beach um you know playing games races finding shells you know the flicky light things that you've got over here that they yeah remember i bought a pack of them we can figure out how to do it that so we know now right um competitions of how high you can get them and catch them like they're quite good at it now uh yeah just real holidays though just yeah but real you know things that they matter which is their time

and having fun and you know that kind of a thing of not just throwing money into stuff that do you get what i'm trying to say it was just our time with them in the nature of that's what you want to call it yeah yeah really good time lots of hospital hospital visits but no it's good everyone's good everyone's happy busy week really busy week i actually feel i feel like i need another holiday after a holiday, do you know what I mean? Yeah, that happens a lot though, because like, you think that you get, oh, time off work, but you end up doing so much of jam packing a lot of it. I have, I have actually jam packed quite a lot. And we're quite active. So our jam packed isn't just going to a beach and lying on a beach. It's going to be it, going on the obstacles, going on holiday, doing

all these adventure things. Tomorrow I'm going rafting. You know, like it's not just, oh, no. Sit on the beach, chill kind of family. No, no, no, no, definitely not. So, but I'm feeling it today. I've got it with me. I am feeling it today. So, yeah. Aiken. Yeah, I am aching. I'm not going to lie, but it was good. Really, really nice time. Really nice time. So I've still got another week to have lots of celebrations and my birthday's coming up. Yeah, yeah, exactly, not a week to chill, another week. And I got a little present, Bill, won't we a little present? Yeah, we've got matching. Friendship bracelets. I love it. I love it. It was a nice little surprise in a chair waiting before me. So yeah, that was our, that's our week so far, I suppose.

So you've got the topic of the day? I have the topic. This kind of came up a little bit and I thought it would be good to dive in. So losing your temper with kids when you're like trying to teach them or trying to discipline them. Okay, this makes me smile actually a little bit. Yeah. Because this is quite funny. I've really tried.

I think most of us a lot do, to be fair, with the whole, can you do this please? Can you do this please? Or just stop that now. Okay, that's enough. now come on now that's enough yet no let's not do this someone's going to get hurt well you two just stop fucking around and listen to me please like literally we'll go from that to that and do have to get to that point before they listen yeah and and i do swear yes i do sometimes i don't swear but most of the time i do swear um and yeah i do i am probably quite a lot

with that um it's that funny thing that we've seen before with i think it was something like summer's here so the windows are open and just so you know i have asked my children four five times, nicely and calmly to do it before losing my absolute shit with them. That is me. I think it's most people. That's got to be most parents, surely. I mean, do you? Because obviously, I don't know if you've...

Yeah and no. Like, I don't have to get to that point yet because Kaysen is... Kaysen has been like, since he was little, quite obedient. Like, I've never had to... Yeah, I've put him on the naughty step. Yeah, I've counted to three kind of thing. He's never tested me too much. Yeah.

You know, like one, two, what are you going to do? Like, luckily. Oh, mine count with me. Yeah, see, luckily I've not, they've not, he's not pushed me to that point yet. Hayden, on the other hand, is going to be, you can just see it in his face. Yeah, yeah, I think you're right. Even now, at one, I started telling him no, he's throwing himself on the floor, tantrum and shouting because I've told him no. Already, yeah.

So it's like, oh, I'm going to have my, I'm going to, I think I'm going to, all the parenting things that I've learned. and I felt quite good about myself with Casey. But you're confident, you're going to lose that confidence. I'm going to lose that confidence big time, I think, with Hayden. I think he's going to... Yeah. Kaysen was always really good. Like, yeah, there's been times where I've had to really tell him,

but generally it's like, no, right, I've told you. Okay, you know, he's never really pushed me or tested my buttons. The odd time I've lost my patience. But I've never had to be too shouty, which I'm glad about, because I feel like our generation, we had shouty parents, because it's just the way that we were disciplined and there wasn't really much thought about, you know,

like gentle parenting and stuff. And I'm one of four and we're all close together. So the noise in my house, just with two of them, to double that, that would no wonder my mum was shouting because you'd have to shout for anyone to bloody hear you. So that's it because you're the eldest as well. So obviously you would maybe have took in more of that and noticed more of that.

Do you get what I mean? And it was never really at me either because I think I was I think because there was so many of us and I'm the oldest I was always really well behaved Well you're saying that I think Mason said before a few comments

Like God you're all just so loud You know like I remember even being in the car And like Ricky and Connor would be like punching and kicking And shouting at each other Because they're only three years apart So like they

Like more than Alexi Them two would be the ones that were fighting really It was never really me But it was them two for sure And I could see my mum like And I'm like trying to get them to shut up. Because you know she's going to...

She's going to blow in a minute. And then she's going to shout and then you're going to also get that. And then I'm going to feel it. So... That's quite an eye-opener for me actually. Not that Mason, but it's just... Obviously Mason's made... I'm sure he's made a comment which is right.

Yeah. Oh God, you're all so loud. And not that Lexie and Morgan would necessarily fight. It'd be more of... They'd be more... They're just annoying, actually. No, I love you. But, you know, when they get in a...

They get in a... mood of they're actually probably hyper. Yeah. And there's no getting in between them because you could tell them anything. You could tell them that you're going to leave them and they'll laugh at you. You know what I mean? When they're just in an annoying mood. You're going to, I'm going to give you away or anything. I've never done that.

But literally you could and they'd just go, bah, and you literally wouldn't give a shit. Yeah. Like there's just nothing you've just got to let and ride it out kind of thing. And you're trying to really stay calm and patient and you just want to scream in them. But then it wouldn't make a difference because they're just in that thing. You know what I mean? We had it on the drive actually and when it's a long drive and they're in the car

and you're like, oh God, that's it now. But even Kaysen is a talker. So like even just being in the car, it's like, Kaysen, take a breath. Like, so I can just imagine when Hayden gets older. To be fair, that is what we do. And Kaysen's new thing is proper into one direction. So we've got all the one direction songs now on his phone.

So we're just singing along in the car. And, yeah. They're a good car singers, actually. Oh, great songs. But I'm well into it. I'm like, yeah, well behind this new one direction, little obsession that he's got. But yeah, we're in the car and even like Liam looks sometimes

like you two are bonkers. But like, yeah, otherwise, Kate's him will just talk, talk, talk, talk. And it's like, whoa. Yeah. But like if it's singing, I can deal with it. You can't be angry at someone. No, he just wants to talk. Exactly.

But, you know, sometimes as parents, like, yeah, especially if you come from work, as people, yeah. Like, I get the, and I can, I can sympathise now with my mom and I can picture myself in the situations of just being overstimulated. Like you say, it's not even the like losing patients being angry, which is what it comes out like. It's just being over-touched and overstimulated.

And I remember saying, she used to say to us, stop calling me mum. And I said it to Casey the other day. And he was like, why would she say that? And I'm like, well, when you've got four kids going, mum, mom, and my brother went through a stage when he was younger. Just saying it. He would say like, mum, 50 times in one sentence.

Mom, can we after school, mum, go to the shop, mom. It doesn't even make sense. He just would insert mum a hundred times. Yeah, but sometimes as well, you get to retirement. I think I was discussing this actually with someone before about it. You know, like you get to it. You could have a day. You could just be one of their moods.

But at the same time, the kids are really testing you. And like they can be really, really not listening to you and just really taking the piss and da-da-da-da. And then literally they could just come up to you like, mom, you'd be like, I love you. And you'd be like, oh, you just want to go, oh, fuck off. Do you know what I mean? You just like, shut up. Fuck off.

of that kind of mood that either you're in or they've put you in or the combination of everything but then also at the same time I think in knowing my house you know like the to and fro of the parenting so sometimes maybe I'm

it could be that I'm asking the kids do something and they're not really listening or they haven't listened to me or I've asked them three or four times and that could be maybe winding Mitch up in the background because he can hear that they're not listening or that I've asked them a few times and they're still not done it

and then he would just come straight in, straight in then and be like, will you listen to your mum and do what you've told or do-da-da-da-da, do you know what I mean? So maybe where I would be kind of going in with more of a calmer thing and a patient. Like you're building it up to like... Then he would be like, no, sort... But then I remember that with at home, you know,

like sometimes you'd get kind of one voice and it would always alternate. For me and my home anyway, it would never just be like one pair of... It was never always the dad that had to... Yeah, in my house, it wasn't. But I also know, to be fair, that if my dad kind of told me off, then that would scare me actually

if my dad told me, because my dad wouldn't ever tell me off. Yeah. You know what I mean? I've never heard your dad braises. No, no. I think I only remember once that he's ever, ever, like, shouted at me

because I interrupted him at a pub or something. Do you know what I mean? And honest, but he'd never told me off until I got home. Yeah. So I thought, oh, everything's okay. You know, like, when I got home and my literally just dad laid into me.

And I think he used, I think he used one swear, but, like, I don't know, you'd fucking sport brat or something like that. And honestly, it's never left me. because I thought my dad would never, ever, you know what I mean? But again, it would definitely be a thing of a suppose, maybe a look. Yeah. Oh, my mum just had to look.

It's a look, isn't it sometimes? Yeah. She probably had to say it for Conron Rick, but for me it was like just the look. So the older one would probably more know. Yes, maybe my brother would be more. And I think that's definitely, like say, being the oldest child, you have them traits. And I think one of those traits is just being hypervigilant. Yeah.

Like I always. I always knew, like, yeah, what mood my mum was in, like, how close she was, like, because I was always aware of what was going on. And it was always the other two that pushed it too far. But also, yeah, but this is it. So also, I was just about to say this. Also for me, well, going on to one thing, Mason makes comments a lot saying that how he would never have got away with the things that the other two would, a lot. He always goes, what, you're going to let him do that?

No, you can't do that. And then I'm like, just leave it. I'm like, he's like, you would never have let me do that. My youngest sister is very different. We always call it. She was a proper baby of the family and got away with a lot. So this is what Mesa says a lot with how we parent the other two, obviously. Yeah.

I don't know if it's because it can't be bothered anymore. No, I think part of it is like, yeah. You start well, don't you? Well, like parenting three kids is, it takes a lot more energy than parenting just the one. It is. Like, it is when you see these, like, I don't mean this in a patronising way. But, you know, like, first time. with the one child and they've got all these routines and you know like these things

and it goes out the window when you think that ain't going to stick after you you know like that kind of thing but I mean good to you if you do but it definitely didn't with me no I think in in our house like say because casein has been quite good I've never really had to like jump in and and like you know or Liam had to jump in for for me like I feel like I've got a good grip of disciplining and he listens to me and I don't always have to get to to that point for him to listen like he is pretty pretty good um but yeah there's sometimes where maybe leum goes in a bit harsh for my style like i so maybe then yeah so then i think because i was always like say walking on eggshells like not wanting to like cause the the blow up like i think sometimes

Liam comes in harsh to the point where like it doesn't scare case then but like he is a bit sensitive and he'll go straight into like crying rather than i would rather Liam be like firm and be like, tell him. You would feel that's quite, maybe a bit harsh of how I think it's harsh. Liam thinks it's like he needs to be told. But then I don't know, I just worry that I don't want Kaysen to always to be that hypervigilant and like worry about things while he's doing it. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, but it's a funny one, isn't it? Worry about the reaction. I was, I say I wasn't scared. I wasn't scared of my parents at all. Yeah. But also I was scared of getting told off. Yeah. I was always scared of it and told her.

Some things may have stopped me from doing stuff. And do you know what I mean? Because, oh no, I'm going to get told her if I do that. I'm not going to do that. Yeah, that's true. I think even though, like I say, of what I grew up like, I say, I was never, like I said, I was never scared to do things or like had that fear. But at the same time, I knew where the boundary was. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I feel like we, don't get me wrong. And I think I had a good balance of that because you do have kids that grow up in quite strict households or ones where they are punished a lot and then they are worried about doing anything yeah I think some I think well I think some are like this and some are like this so sometimes I've seen you know experiences of different and everyone's different don't go wrong

every household and every kid's different so kids sometimes need different discipline but sometimes I've seen I thought oh it's a bit strict and harsh I mean people don't think of me whatever yeah and then sometimes I think well you just seriously sort your child out because because this softy, softly, nicely. I want to fucking get up and tell the other kids to shut up or something.

Do you know what I mean? I think the soft approach and the gentle approach works if the kids respect that. Like, don't get me wrong. I like to start at that point. Only because Kaysen then listened and responds, but if he was ignoring me, there's no way I would continue to go, please, please, I would never continue the softly thing

if he's completely blanking it. And we all know our own children of how they would, do you know what I mean? Whereas I think, like you say, there are some parents that continue with the nicely nice and like, please stop hitting me in the face. No, like, grab them. While they're being slapped all over the place, do you know what I mean? No, please don't touch me in the, no, like that gentle parent doesn't work at that point.

Like, and I definitely want to start with that, but at the same time. But there is also occasions when the gentle side needs to, you know what I mean? Like you say, and sometimes the other side of it, I don't mean beat your children here. I'm not saying that, right? No, but even being firm. I just mean, yeah, just a little bit of. of just, I don't know, authority, or I don't know, whatever discipline, like you say,

I'm going to get done now, I know. But no, I think it's good. I think, like, whether you come in, I think Liam's a little bit more, like, straight talking and his voice just is a little bit more assertive. But then that gets Kasen, like, upset sometimes because he doesn't like him raising his voice. Whereas it might work better with, like, Hayden, maybe.

Yeah, we might have to show him. Exactly. You might not have to. You might even try the nicely nice to nice. I think what me and Liam both do well is that we explain to him like very clearly this is what you've done. This is not acceptable and this is how we want you to behave. So even if Liam does raise his voice, it's like it's very clear what we're asking you to do. What I think doesn't work is when you go not to 100 and the kid doesn't actually understand what they've done.

Yeah. And I think we sometimes forget because Kaysen is so mature for his age. he's still learning so he's still trying to get to grips of his like emotions and sometimes when you tell him like turn your iPad off now he's got quite good at that to be fair he just turns it off but like if he asks for something that he wants and we say no which isn't very often but when he when he does sometimes he'll like like whinge or get upset and then like Liam's like stop behaving like a baby um like you're older than that like you need to know how to deal with yourself better but it's like he is still learning so you need to explain like you're feeling

frustrated and yeah like no sucks but you know you're gonna have to figure out how to deal with it and it's not the end of the world and it's not the end of the world the thing as well talking about that is is also the difference of maybe not the difference but if you agree with the discipline of what's being taken so yeah you know sometimes that's true in cases maybe Mitch or maybe I and different we think maybe you've been a bit we've been a bit maybe two over the top or haven't agreed with what one of us have said to the kids and I do think it's important well I think it's important that for me

as parents you're shown to be as a team I think that starts because without you starting at the team you wouldn't have made the family that you've got do you know what I mean

in that kind of thing and that is talked about a lot like in like shows and stuff like parents and things like yeah you should always be a united friend and not let the kids like manipulate one of the other

and I do think that's a really important thing so you're showing as a team but at the same time me as a person partner and mum anything. I'm not going to agree with something if someone if I don't if I don't agree with it. Do you know what I mean? So I'm not going to go along with it because of that. So in a Kate, then I would try without undermining and mugging off Mitch and him the same back with

me. And how do you do that? Exactly. Because sometimes how do you side with your child or say that that was a bit harsh without mugging off the parent? Especially in one in that moment because it depends on how, do you know what I mean? Depending on that moment and what the situation is. You could be in an emotional feeling of a mood because of, you know, we're angry or frustrated or sad or whatever the situation is. So hearing something that someone doesn't agree with you on top is not always the best thing to hear at that moment in time. So firstly, I would obviously maybe think, is this the best time to say it? Yeah. Are things too heightened that we need to pause and come back? Or is now the right time? To like kind of knit this little

comment in or is this just going to make everything blow up even worse? And no one's going to really be listening. So timing. Yeah. And then when it is. the right time what do you do the right timing I would then uh talk about it and make my opinion on why and the other way around Mitch to me but also that the kids here so the kids have got a hear that do you know what I mean that that we didn't you know with that situation and why yeah because you actually have the conversation of a difference of opinion and where you're saying about when you said then about them and the children understanding of why so even if I do go sometimes no to 100 I mean after a you know what a while again I'm not saying

And it's, you should, you know, it's acceptable, but it happens and I'll do it. So, but what I do do is go back in and go, look, I apologise for shouting at you, okay, but also you've got to say, well, my way, we've got really frustrated and it's not always the answer to do that when you're frustrated, you know, again, I've said I've always, like, try and over-explain myself because sometimes I do think sometimes some people should need to be told to fuck off. Sometimes I do think that people are not worth it, one, because they're not worth it, that, and your energy and all that kind of thing, you know what I mean? So it's, again, I try and over-explain it, but I do always go back and say, look, I apologize to, I spoke to you that way.

Yeah. I always would do that if that got to the point. Do you know what I mean? But sometimes also I don't because that depending on the situation, I think, no, you deserve to tell enough there. Yeah. Do you get what I mean? Yeah. And they full know well why they got told off. So no explanation needs to go in and I don't, I'm not apologising because I think to apologize for.

Yeah. Does that make sense? Yeah. I think if you've lost it yourself. Because you've let your emotions go, then you should apologise. But if they've really, really, you know, done something, then, yeah, they should know that there's consequences for that. And I think what I recently saw a video on was the punishment or the consequence needs to really match what it is that they done wrong. Because sometimes we're in a very thing of like kids need to be taught.

a lesson and they need to be punished yeah i think that's kind of what we were told growing up and you know it's kind of coming a little bit to even parenting now even adults though isn't it yeah yeah like there needs to be consequences for your actions kind of thing and you know how many times you've been told that as you've grown up there's consequences for actions and you need to face them um but what i saw and i quite liked the the idea of is is yeah there's a consequence it's not a punishment so like if your kid is you know playing with a toy or and they're hitting things and they're, you know, and they could potentially hurt themselves,

hurt someone else or break something, then it's not to take off them and punish them, but it's just to say, right, the consequence of you not playing with that toy in a nice way, I'm going to remove the toy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So sometimes it doesn't have to be a punishment. It just has to be a consequence.

If you can't play nicely, then I'm going to remove you and you can play by yourself. But I think that all comes down with the words, how it's put forward and how the action is. Yeah, reaction. And the child. Like you say, you could. You have to explain something different.

You know that she's probably going in full in on case and ain't going to work. Whereas I know sometimes with my kids sitting down and going, oh, can you do this? I ain't going to work. Do you know what I mean? For that side of it. Yeah. And again, the balance of two parents sticking together on.

I think with Kaysen, like I say, because I know how he is. And even recently I've said to him a few times, whatever, and this is the reason or like, he's started to get a bit wingy mony and like, mom, I asked you to do that. for me and I'm like watch the way you're talking to me and then I'm like because that's coming across really rude and he went oh sorry I didn't realize so it's like no you didn't and that's why I'm telling you that if you want me to do something for you then ask me nicely otherwise I'm not going to do it and then he's like I didn't realize and the way he yeah like say he takes it in and he says oh I didn't know that I didn't know I was coming across like that so if you do it again

you do know because I've explained and we spoke about it like in that kind of a way and one thing just to add on to that would be children follow from our actions, don't they? There's a thing, there's like a saying, but you know what I mean? It's basically, and it's true. The biggest way you teach kids isn't from telling them, it's from them watching and observing. That is the biggest thing, and I really try and put that into me because I know, no matter what, they are, they are always watching. And that's why it's good, like you say, of having them discussions. I think when we grew up, all, like, adult conversations were always separate.

like you never saw adults yeah so it's like knowing how to have hard conversations knowing how to talk to someone who doesn't agree with you you never really got that to see that modeled or experience or experience it like if anything it was like you against another kid like in the playground or like siblings or whatever and don't get wrong sometimes things are overshared yeah so i do sometimes think that some adult conversations and adult things are overshared with children i just you know you then that kind of thing i don't think it should be anything that they need to worry about like if there's anything in the relationship if it's like financial stuff like anything that is too grown up for them they shouldn't be part of or sometimes adults talk and don't realize actually they're listening to everything yeah everything yeah you know so sometimes just be more aware of what you are talking about yeah because you know without even realizing yeah these are they're taking it in and maybe worrying or thinking about it or you know reacting in a way you know you're consciously to this conversation that they've heard

that they probably shouldn't have heard. You know, like in that way as well? Yeah, definitely. I'd say that I probably earwigged and heard a lot of conversations growing up. And even sometimes when we've been together, like, because obviously Casey's only really getting to that age now that I have to be a bit more aware.

But then there's been a few times around like our friends where they're like, just wait until they go away. And then I'm like, surely they're not paying attention. But then Casey and sometimes, I was watching a TV show. I was watching a TV show yesterday. Kaysen's like on the dining table, watching his iPad. So noise, me and Liam are watching a TV show.

And it was like a bit of like a cop show where like they're trying to take down this terrorist guy. So yeah, could potentially be a bit deep in the background, but whatever. And something happened and it stopped and Kaysen went, what happened? And I was like, what? Because I think the music had stopped or it paused or it was a suspense or something. But he said something, like, he was watching, but he wasn't, like, even eye contact wasn't there.

It is. And he chimes in, like, if we're talking about something and I'm like, oh, yeah, so this, that and the other. And then he's like, and he says, he just repeats the words. So, yeah, they definitely do listen. All I keep in my head is the Monsters Inc. Always. I'm always watching. Honestly, it sticks in my head because I'm telling you, that is children.

That is children. Any child. Even though they're not, they are, they are listening. They are always listening and watching and everything. But I've got two questions before we end this little pick. On their row, I think at the bottom of the page. Who's the stricter parent? That was it.

So who's too strict to me? In my house, well, there's two questions. So I want to follow it up. Who's the stricter parent and who has the last say? Right, because these are two different answers. And literally it was as only because there's the topic came up as right. This is a good, for me, I'm my answer anyway. So I feel in my, I mean, my kids might.

is a different. Who knows? I would say in my house that Mitch is the stricter parent, but I would have the last word. So there's two questions. Who's a strict parent and who has the last word? So you'd think, what I would first think, that the stricter parent would always have the last word. Yeah. Yeah. I feel that in my house, no, I feel that Mitch is probably more stricter with stuff. And yeah. Is that with like boundaries or is that with just sticking to was word. Probably everything. Yeah. All of the above, to be fair. Yeah. If there was something that the kids wanted to do or, you know, whatever, or we were, we had to, there was a plan and, you know, whatever, you know, we needed to make a decision. It would all, I would always be the last word. So,

for example, let's say the kids came, went up to Mitch and said, oh, can we do this? And he'd be like, I'm not sure, ask your mom. And then they'd come to me and I'd say, oh, I'm not sure. Ask your dad. They would know then that that's a yes, because I've said, going, I'm not sure, I should, that kind of thing. Whereas if Mitch says, I'm not sure or ask your mom, they've still got to really wait to see if I say yes. Okay. Does that make sense?

Yeah. So that's how I would answer that question anyway. Okay. And I am a little bit like only really, like I don't want to constantly be disciplining or like teaching them lessons. That's what I feel sometimes going on. So like sometimes Liam will pick up on some of just the slight things. Sometimes he needs picking up on.

But I think really like I just wanted to be a kid. I wanted to enjoy being a kid. And like when it's when it's something that definitely needs being brought up, then I'll say it. Whereas I think Liam is like parenting. to like all his behaviours rather than just like what I would see is the bigger stuff

yeah so that you feel like sometimes I do I think you see the right I think kids in general are so try they try to be so micromanaged nowadays rather than just be children why do we have to literally monitor every little behavioral thing that they're doing they're just being let me just be kids sometimes

it's like constantly like all day every day you're correcting them and correcting them and I feel like that sometimes like just going on yeah so I do feel like Like, in a way, you could see that as maybe a bit less strict because I'm a little bit more like... Laid back with some things until I feel the need because I don't want it to be like,

I'm on top of him all the time. So I don't want him to be conscious of himself all the time. Like, he's still little. Yeah, yeah. So in one respect, yeah, and then sometimes, like, say, like the other day, I think I might have mentioned on his, he picks, doesn't he? Like, with mosquito bites, he itches them, then they scab and then he picks.

Or just anything that. And moles as well. He picks moles. Yeah. Anything that's not flat, basically. Yeah. And he finds him and he picks them to the point that like it's multiple scabs and it's scarring. So we've like, don't really know what else we could do with him. We cover it of plasters and then the plasters come off like bath, washing whatever and then like he picks.

So I've said to him, I was like, you're getting to the point now that you're not listening. And I know it's a habit where he's not even where he's doing it. So I don't want to like be too bad like on top of him for it. But at the same time I was like, you're going to have a boy. body full of scars. So I said to him the other day, like me and Liam said, I was like, look, if I find you picking your scabs, you're going to have to lose your iPad. Like, I don't know what, and I said to him, I don't know what else I can do that will get you to stop doing it by yourself. And I know that you're doing it without realizing. So I was like, the minute you find

yourself, I was like, you have to go get your fidget spinner. Go get something for your hand. Yeah. Like, stop picking. Yeah. And then I saw him, he picked one on his shoulder. And it was a mole, not a scab. Like, so it's even worse. and Liam went, that's it, you've lost your iPad for three days. I was like, three days. Okay, you were like, shit. Like three days is a bit excessive

for the very first time he's done it in my eyes. But that would happen with me. So it turns on the day and the top of your mind, but that would literally be me. Yeah. Probably be me. So that wasn't something that we said, I didn't say it in the moment,

but when we was together, I was like, in the future, just do a day or like if it's a second time, like maybe two days, maybe three days if you've done it. Well, can you consult with me. Like, right, that's your iPad. What do you? you think, Mummy, how long should we keep it off him for?

Yeah, either that or something less. So, yeah, so in one way, like, he was strict in, like, the punishment, like, thing. And he is a bit stricter, whereas sometimes I'm like, all right, you know. So, yeah, I'd say in different areas. It depends on the situation. I'd say, overall, it could be maybe Liam, more than me. And then who has the last say? Yeah, I'd say it's probably me as well, which is, again, is,

Yeah, yeah, I think I have the final say with parenting things. Unless it's something Lynn's really opinionated about and he feels strongly about. But generally, I take the lead on those things. Yeah, I would be, yeah, there is some things that Mitch scares me when he's like, no, I'm like, okay, okay, fine. Yeah, yeah. You know, because he's not so like that. So when he is, I'm like, okay, you know, yeah, we'll go with that. Yeah, so, yeah, that's it.

That's, uh, it's hard though, isn't it? it's hard. Parenting's hard. Yeah. Paringing in general time. And we spoke really about disciplining, like trying to teach them and do homework and stuff. Luckily I've not had to teach Kaysen and but yeah. Well, that's for another time because, yeah, there's a lot.

With tutoring, I've got had a lot of experience with tutoring and homeschooling and things. So there's definitely stuff that I would. I'm getting to the homework age and like learning lines for drama stuff. So we'll pick up, well, not disciplining, but like, yeah, how we teach without losing Not patience. Exactly that. Exactly that. Because, yeah, no.

You can give me some pointers because I think I'll be getting into that age. I couldn't, couldn't chew her. So, yeah, that'll be on a definitely on another episode. So stay tuned. Yeah. Keep going through the holidays. You're doing great people. Yeah, yeah.

Pat on the back for us. Yeah, I'm made. See you later. Bye guys. Bye.