The Rising’s Growing Together Podcast - What Would You Do If Your Child Did Something Unforgivable?

Episode Date: October 1, 2026

What would you do if your child did something so serious that you could no longer simply have their back?In this episode of The Growing Together Podcast, Billie and Charlotte dive into a difficult and uncomfortable conversation sparked by a real-life case involving a teenager accused of serious sexual offences.We talk about where the line is as parents, whether you can continue to support your child when the evidence appears overwhelming, whether parents should blame themselves for the person their child becomes, and how you protect the rest of your family when something goes seriously wrong.We also get into something we think every parent should be talking to their children about: consent.Especially as our boys get older, what does consent actually mean? Is silence consent? What happens when someone changes their mind? And how can we make sure our children understand that consent can be withdrawn at any point?It’s a difficult conversation, but an important one.As always, this is our personal conversation and opinions as parents, not professional or legal advice.What would you do? Would there be a line where you could no longer simply “have your child’s back”?Let us know in the comments.🎙️ Welcome to The Growing Together PodcastReal conversations about parenting, relationships, work, life and everything in between.Subscribe and come grow with us.

Hi guys. Hey! Welcome back to another episode of the pod. Today, I wanted to talk to you about something else that is going on in the online space and current events because I would like your opinion on how you would potentially deal with a serious situation involving one of your kids in terms of like if they did something really bad, really wrong, how we would. deal with it because why don't if I'm getting anxiety

starting this conversation we're diving in at deep end guys because obviously we speak about like little things like back chat and you know like being messy and like trying to teach the kids good lessons and all of that stuff but there's psychopaths out there

there's people that grow up to be murderers like and I watch a lot of crime stuff and yeah you probably will and there's definitely people out there that when you hear their backstory in their childhood, you think, hmm, I mean, nothing justifies going to that level, but you can kind of understand, right, okay, yeah, you had it bad, and you're just a psycho.

But what confuses me and what I'm interested in is for the ones that seemingly have like a good upbringing, why they go crazy? Like, is it something that you're born with that your parents can't do nothing about, that you're just going to grow up and be one of those people? Or is it something that you learn? I don't know. It's just fascinates me. Yeah, some people are just wrong-uns, aren't they, I think. I don't know. What are you going to say? Because I don't know what you're saying. Right, let me give you a bit of a story that's out there at the moment, which kind of started this conversation. And then we can kind of talk about that and then talk about like if we found ourselves, probably not in this situation,

because this is like another level. Hopefully neither us will ever have to deal with this. But just how we like if if our kids got into like a really serious fight or like they were caught shoplifting or something you know a little bit more than the norm yeah um how we would deal with it okay so there is um a 15 year old boy who's actually the son of a real housewife um of atlanta atlanta um who actually went on to have her own a spin-off tv show with her her husband and her six kids. So she's got two daughters from previous relationships. And then she met this guy, fell madly in love, had, um, I think a boy, a boy and then a twins, which is a set of a boy and a girl. So six kids and they had their spin-off show. Big, lovely house. Family,

be successful. Yeah, seemed to be madly in love the, the mom and the dad. Anyway, that was many, many years ago. The kids were really little at that point. And they're actually going through a really messy divorce right now, the mom and the dad. And the son has just been arrested at 15 on sexual assault charges linked, I believe, to another underage kid at his school. So I think, yeah, a girl in his school has come forward about a sexual assault. Now, that was shocking enough. Okay, but is this just, so this is, okay, this is real because obviously, Oh, this is real.

Like, you know, when people are famous sometimes. No, this is not. This is police reports, official documents. Like, this is an AI or fake story. Like, there's real police reports. Like, this is real stuff. Okay. So if it wasn't bad enough that a girl's come forward to say that he sexually assaulted her,

what I come to find out is that he's already out on bail for other sexually related indecent things that's happened. from like the year before. So potentially 14 here? Yes. Fuck. Yeah. But I think the most sickest part is that according to, again,

according to that he hasn't been charged with anything yet, but according to reports, he last year was charged with, which is why I think he was already out on bail, in decent sexual relations with a relative who's under 12. So yeah, potentially he might have been 14, he might have already been 15 at that stage. So potentially the sister?

He's got a younger sister, which there's no confirmation of who the 12-year-old or under 12-year-old was. It says a relative, so I would assume there's a huge... Who gives a fuck? He's a fuck. He's fucked up. There's a chance that it would be his younger sister. And especially when, obviously, as this has all come out, everyone's talking about it.

People have realised that last year, the sister was sent to live with her grandparents. The sister? So it would lead you to believe that maybe there is something going on with the sister because she's been moved out of the house. But I think the biggest confusion, and I mean, this isn't just something

that's rumoured to have happened, especially with the undisely. a 12 year old, there's videos on his phone of him, I assume, raping that person with one of his friends. Oh no. So this isn't a he said, she said, this is actual video proof. Not only have you done something, but you've done it with someone else and you're laughing about it and the words apparently in the video were very derogatory, very degrading, very nasty.

and you're filming it so you clearly don't give a shit fuck that makes me just makes me even want to cry or scream or like you've got a beat but my only thing is why is the sister had to go

so that that is kind of the conversation online is at his court hearing which again he hasn't been charged but his court hearing to see whether he was going to get bail on let out or not I mean the fact he was even let out on bail

this time absolutely not the court of massively fucked up there. This isn't the first time this has happened. He's done it again and you've let him out on bail. He is on house arrest. He's not allowed social media. He's not allowed a phone. What is his parents doing? So his mum and sister, what I assume one of the older sisters, has gone to court, but the dad didn't go to court. So there's no, I don't think they've come out and spoke about it from what I can see, but you would assume that is the dad not supporting him and the mum and the sister supporting him.

But what is fucked up is he's now on house arrest at his mum's house. I've heard that he's not allowed around any children under 16. So he's gone on house arrest to his mum's house which means that none of his siblings must be there.

But again when all this potentially have happened last year and the dad even posted something back around the time he was arrested the time before saying darkest time of my life but I think everyone assumed it was the divorce and clearly it was this stuff that was going on behind the scenes there's only all coming out now but again you sent the daughter away yeah to live with the

grandparents if this is the daughter who this has happened to which it might not have been it might have been somebody else but it doesn't matter still but even if it had been somebody else your son has done something to a relative of a similar age to your daughter so get your son out the house yeah keep your daughter with you yeah because we're Whether it happened to her or not, surely she needs her mum right now. Yeah. She, yeah, completely. Or even her dad, she needs a parent right now.

And actually, one of the older sisters, who's on her own reality TV show, was seen, I saw her make a comment before all of this has come out, saying that about the parents' divorce and how messy it's got, that her siblings definitely need therapy, like deep therapy. They're definitely like showing signs that they need help. and then all this is when actually it could possibly be this that's caused the divorce could be that that's called the divorce could be the therapy could be what's happened in result of the divorce and look divorces don't happen overnight have they lived in a really

toxic environment for many many years before the parents have got divorced there's all of these things that could happen but either way would you go to your son's court hearing No, no, I'd bury him alive Personally But that's the thing isn't it Because if it was kind of word against word Then that's, I would have to support my child I agree with innocent until proving guilty

Just because someone says something doesn't make it true Real proof Because I know what it's like lately with all this technology and AI It's very, very, very dangerous And it's very believable This is what's quite worrying. So to break it down and with all the technology to prove that it's a real actual video and that is my child, I'd fucking bury him.

If not, I'd be in the court. Yeah. Yeah. Even. And I would probably wouldn't send, I definitely wouldn't send anyone else out of the property. I would send him to, like say, my parents or somewhere that's, you know, within protection and cared for. but also I have to think of the rest of the family too because what the fuck?

Because whether this... Because that is deep. That's not just like... Whether this has happened or not, the court has made him be on house arrest for bail and he's not allowed around any under 16 year old. So whether it's happened or not happened, yeah, you cannot be around your younger siblings.

So, yeah, go to family members. I wouldn't bring it, yeah, I would make my family homes. make sure we're united and if it was word for word he's there and at the moment he's going to stay there because we need to get through this mess of whatever it is because it is word for word the other way would be for me

a completely different story I'd probably even take into court like you say I'd deal with myself yeah well this from what I've read from what I've read and what I've seen it's pretty close to being given that this has actually happened

and he's yet to be like actually charged with it but there seems to be quite a lot of evidence against. Then without making stories up but just kind of looking at it maybe and putting two together the mum's in support the dad can't take that and with him

with that they've divorced and the mum's still obviously behind her. Well that's it that's it you could say like imagine if your kid did something that wrong and the dad is like I don't want to support it and you're like, but it's my son. So, I mean, this is another level.

I don't know how you support. No. Sexual assault, right? Especially if it's got one of your other kids involved. That is a topic that I think would be very hard because it is your son at the end of the day. But how do you support that? Well, you'd question why, wouldn't you? Like you said it being, why do people do this?

Boundaries, would it be that they've never had boundaries? But then you've got another, how many kids in that household have no? fucking issues. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. In cases like that, sometimes I just don't, I don't like when people,

but, but, no, he's done fucking wrong. He knows that he's wrong. He's old enough. Yeah, they're young, but they're old enough to know what's right, I don't get the shit. And that is wrong.

And he would know that that is wrong. So I don't, you know when people go, well, well, it's maybe because of this. Well, no, he's done wrong. Yeah. I mean, regardless if your parents are getting divorced, regardless if you grew up in a household that wasn't the best,

they're still right and wrong. And there's people that have grown up in the worst circumstances and still would never cross that line. So, yeah, I don't know exactly what causes people to do those kind of things. But, and again, this is one thing if it had been one incident with another 15-year-old girl from his school, because that could be a he said, she said kind of situation. Yeah. But this goes beyond that.

But this is beyond that. There's video evidence. This is an under 12-year-old. like there's no under 12 year old that wants that regardless. And yeah, so there is no... There is no... There is no... It makes me go weird.

I'm going to go home and I'm going to let my boys be with my daughter. They're going to be like, what? No, I think there is no standing up for this. I think you can't back your son. No. Especially, like I say at 15, you know right from wrong. And don't forget the parents are split up, right? So you already have two households.

But as the mum, You've essentially chosen your son over your daughter. It seems that. Which is completely wrong. Yeah, that is all. That is very fucked up, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, I don't see how you support that.

I couldn't. In that, in what you've given me, I couldn't. Do you know what I mean? There's situations. I mean, maybe they could murder someone and I might support them. Yeah. But in this situation. This almost feels worse, but it isn't worse.

I know, it's weird, isn't it? It's very close to it. I think they're both up there with the worst things you could possibly do. I know. I know that it's definitely. But it's weird, isn't it? How I would see it, might possibly. But for me, there's that, no, there's no.

Well, there's another story that I read recently about a teenage girl who killed her mom, killed her, I think her brother, tried to kill her dad. I think she set the house on fire, something like that. And the dad's crawled out of the house, like literally crawled out. I think she even shot them and then set the house on fire. Something really awful. but the dad not in this kind of

like not near these are all America but the dad's managed to crawl out to like safety and the dad survived but obviously his child's killed their whole family

and his he still went to her court hearing to in support of her I mean support I was going maybe he was just checking she ain't coming out

well I maybe I've got that wrong to look her in how dare you do that it could be I'm going to watch you go down for this but I don't I think I remember reading

and thinking God you've got you've got a you've got got something in you that most people wouldn't have to actually go and I think I'm sure I read that he said he

forgave her but what was the cause do you know what I mean? Yeah you know so if they put baked beans on a dinner and she wanted spaghetti that's just fucked up but if there was a lunderlining thing something that maybe was the fault okay I don't if I do anything wrong don't come and shoot me or anything but like

you know well it's like those two brothers is it the Menendez brothers or something who in their early 20s shot their mum and dad. They lived in Beverly Hills. They had like an amazing lifestyle, but the dad was raping both the boys their whole childhood. Okay, that's, so you really understand at that point. And the mum knew and just had blind eyes with it. So that's what the brothers have said is like it was self-defense. But because they planned it, they went down for it. So they've been in prison for like 20 years and they're trying to get out and get pro. And there's,

they've done like a TV show, like acting out their life kind of thing. Well, no, we've protected them. They protected, protect their selfish. in the end. Well, that's the argument and some of the family have denied all of that and some of the family have said they told us growing up, this absolutely happened, there is reason behind it. So that I kind of get a little bit. But yeah, I mean, if the boys did anything like that, like you say, I'm sorry, but would you blame yourself as a parent or would you think actually like, I definitely didn't raise you to be like that? No, this ain't a me thing. No, I, I, I, I, I, I, no, there is no. Yeah. There's nothing in my children's life.

that would lead them to do that. So that's got to be something in your brain that you're born with. There is no explanation. I don't think you can blame yourself as a parent. If you've done everything you possibly can, you've kept them safe and protected and loved. And they ended up growing up to be like that. That's what they've been brought up to know

where the dad's cared for the mom and shown how, you know, like that sort of a thing. The mom's cared for the dad and just shown what relationship should be like or whatever. Yeah. I'm sure that. I don't think the parents should blame themselves if they've done a good enough to. I think sometimes

Stomings not right And it's all on him Yeah I think at that level I'd probably have to walk away But anything kind of below that Then Yeah

There's a line There's a line That I'd certainly That one for me is like a no I think you Unconditionally love your children Yeah And I would definitely be there

For them 99% of the time With anything that they've done But yeah there's also a line. But I couldn't look at them as my children if they'd done something like that and the evidence was so like that. That's what I'm trying to say.

It was word for word. I'd speak with them. But I think it's different if they turn around and admit it but if they're always protesting their innocence but the evidence is against them do you believe them?

Do you accept the evidence? Well the evidence is evidence no? What can you go against evidence? Do you know what I mean? It depends what the evidence is. I suppose, but if the evidence is clear, I'm sorry,

black and white, then shut your mouth because it's their black and white. Yeah. If it's questionable, I'd still, I'd be questionable and I'd still have their back. If there was anything to question, I'd have their back. Yeah. There was nothing to question. You're getting buried. But there you have it.

No, I think it's true. I think you've got to have your kids' backs. And if it was anything that's more minor than that, like shoplifting, you know, I'm not like they can go and do anything now. You can do anything. Everything for that. This conversation, anything is much better than that, isn't it? So, um, but no, I think, yeah, anything that's kind of, you can feel bad for it.

It was a mistake. You can learn from it. You can grow from it and you can never repeat it. Then, yeah, you back your kids and you should back your kids, especially like if it's their word against somebody else's. But yeah, if the evidence is there and it's this level. No. You can't.

You just got a wrong. and unfortunately. You can't. You can't stand by that. Six or have many children. Yeah. I mean, even if it wasn't to do with the family,

even if it was just a random person that's saying it, yeah. If the evidence is there, then you've got to pay for it. Yeah, you have. As sad as it is, you've got to admit that the evidence is there.

Yeah. And I think it's one thing, and that's one thing that I think is really, really important off the back of this conversation is consent. And I think that's one thing that we always have the conversation about, oh, have sex talk with the kids and, you know, the birds and the beads and, you know, about,

wow, I think we've only really, in the last few years, elaborated on not just sex in the act, but like about relationships. Like it's more than just the act. Yeah. There's a lot that goes into it. But something that I think I've heard more of in recent years, which we should absolutely, especially for boys, I think. girls I think it's more of a conversation of like you know you should only do it if you want to do it

whereas with boys I don't think we have that it's not in the front of most people's minds to talk about consent yeah and actually asking for consent because the last thing you would want is for your son to be in a situation where he thinks he's done nothing wrong yeah because the girl didn't say anything but she's saying it's not it wasn't consent I didn't say yes yeah so I think really building into the conversation with boys especially. Like the girl can absolutely give you the impression that that's what she wants. You can even go to the bedroom and you can even go to start. But then if she changes her mind, she changes their mind.

Like consent, I think there was a really good example. Was it a cup of tea one? Yeah, if you come to my house and I offer you a cup of tea and you say, no, okay. What is that? I was trying to think I thought you were going to whack it out then. No, no, I read that one. Like I say yes and you go to make it and and I say yeah I want the cup of tea. Yes, I want the cup of tea.

And then you go to give it to me and I say actually, no, I don't want a cup of tea. Then I don't want the cup of tea. I don't know if I'm saying. Along them, it was more like, um, if you, you're sure you don't want one? No, no, no, I'm fine. You sure you're sure you don't want one? No, absolutely fine, you don't want one. Okay, then fine, I'll have one anyway.

Yeah. But you don't really want it. Yeah, that isn't consent. That's kind of pressuring someone. So I think, I think, especially around this topic, if you do have, have boys of that age definitely it's a little reminder isn't it? Because I've seen it on TV shows I've

I've read articles about it where yeah I genuinely believe that the guy thought it was consensual and the girl just didn't it's very different if the girl saying no no no and you do it anyway that's very obviously not consent but I'm not talking about that I'm talking about where girls have changed their mind

they don't vocalise it but they haven't said yes like there is a blurred line there and I think for boys' protection. And just being aware, if you, you know, that... Ask. You know, you could be quite an enclosed person

and nervous when you're happening anyway. But if you're as a, you know, you just check, are you okay? You know, you don't... Yeah. That'd be a bit weird if the whole way through, are you okay? No, don't do that.

Yeah, but a couple of times. It's learning, you know, body language too, no. I think it's... Yeah. If you're in that kind of thing, but also, body language... It's not 100% clear. Yeah, I suppose.

If you're, if you change your body language, you can't expect a 16 year old, a 17 year old, an 18 year old to know someone else's body language who they might have only just been dating. Like, to be clear, 100% clear, then yeah. Just from the moment you maybe start kissing to the moment you actually go to do it, you can very easily change your mind. So definitely check a few times. But yeah, obviously then, you know, you've checked.

Yeah. If anything was to happen, I asked and I asked again. And then it's done. And then you know, you know, it doesn't happen a lot. But unfortunately, it's happened to boys. And I've seen it where the girls, months later, when the boys' life has been destroyed, admit that they were lying. Yeah.

So, yeah, for boys, I think that, for boys and girls, but for boys especially, consent, consent. I was going to say, it's just a little reminder just to have a little chat with all about, content and what that involves basically. Yeah. Yeah. Have the conversation with your boys. I think that's really important and yeah hopefully that never happens to anyone who's listening or us and we continue to raise our kids in a nice, happy, healthy home. Yeah, let's hope. But if not, you won't get our support. No, you'll get buried. On that note, we'll see you next week. See ya!