The Rising’s Growing Together Podcast - Would You Let Your Partner Do This? Jealousy, Trust & Relationship Boundaries

Episode Date: August 7, 2026

❤️ Where do you draw the line in a relationship?Is jealousy always a bad thing? Can you completely trust your partner while still having boundaries? And where do things like massages, friendships, and professionalism fit into a healthy relationship?In this episode of The Risings Growing Together Podcast, we have an honest conversation about jealousy, trust, insecurities, and the boundaries that shape our relationships.From discussing male massage therapists and professional boundaries to sharing personal experiences with insecurity, communication, and past relationships, this episode explores the difficult conversations that many couples have but rarely talk about openly.Whether you're single, dating, married, or somewhere in between, we'd love to hear your perspective.

So my friends told me, and I still remember it 20 years later, that there was this girl. She was like one of the girls that all the guys liked kind of thing. So they went on a coach to a football game, but they shared the coach with the netball team. My friend's on the coach. This girl has gone, oh, who's that guy? About Liam.

Oh, I'm getting on goosebumps, Bill. And she was like, oh, that's my friend's boyfriend. And she went, we'll see about that. Like, yeah, I know your fucking game. I know. your fucking game. Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of the pod. Yes. Um, how are you? Good. I'm good. I'm pretty in summary. Well, it's, it's more of, I'm adamant. I'm going to the beach today. So if I dress like I'm going to the beach, I am going to the beach. Because it's just so hot. I know that sounds

stupid. I know. It's annoying, isn't it? Because you feel bad for complaining that it's hot. Yeah. But then I was messaging with Tammy yesterday, who's coming over and she's, in England. And I said like, we're literally hiding from the heat, working. We literally, it isn't summer for me, really, until I'm like off work and stuff. And I'm not, well, we've said this plenty times. We don't take advantage of like living here. So my sister's over tomorrow.

It's a good excuse. We've got another friend coming over. It's all the bloody birthdays in August, like at least eight people's birthdays. And then my sister's over again, my mom and dad's here. So I think the next month I will be, maybe not going to be. maybe not going to the beach because I'm not a beach person. No, no, you should not. Although Hayden, I don't think, has been to the beach

or I think he went for 10 minutes when we were in Mahaka. And did he like it? He wasn't very much of a fan of the sand, but no, I think one evening, maybe. Yeah, evening's a night. I might do. Because it's that hot for me, I think that if you just go and get in it, then you're all right.

But if you're in the house, in the aircon, and then you try and go out, you just can't stop thinking, oh my God, it's hot. So this is the, this is the, the plan. A notes page on my phone and I'm like all the things like summery things to do. Yeah. Yeah. So like even when we met you up the day after your wedding and we went to like the little like fun fair bit.

Just doing things like that. I mean it was late in the evening. It was after 7 o'clock. It was still hot. But yeah, I want to do some summary stuff. We do the beach as well. But again, late. But it's summer.

So where you're at where he might be able to. But that sort of time is like too late. You know what I mean? Because the sun doesn't go down to like 10, was it? Do you know what I mean? So it's a hard one. The evenings aren't much cooler. No, no.

Although last night, Tell Alive, felt a lot cooler. I don't... Oh, yeah, I was on the phone to my mum outside. And normally, even after work, the boys... I felt cold. I had to say, I said it before. We used to be sitting outside, and then for a good month, we haven't sat outside. Yeah, yeah.

Barely at all. So I was on the phone to my mum. I was about half five, and the boys were playing on their bites and stuff, and it was actually, like, bearable. Nice. Yeah. And, yeah. So I think the evening has cooled down a little.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just weird, definitely in summer mode. So then, like, well, we're not going to bed until like half one, two. Oh, yeah. We're still kind of sticking to a bit of between. Yeah, we're completely out of it. Completely out of it. Yeah. I suppose your kids are older, so Hayden still needs to go to bed like half seven or five. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you can see it in mine that they're knackered. Well, even the other day, Kaysen went to bed late because we don't let him go to bed super duper late, even though it is summer. You can't. I'm an extra hour and a half. Mine are still young. but they're not that young. Yeah, I mean, he's seven. So it's like, you still get tired. So, but then obviously Hayden's still getting up at like six half six. So when, if he hears him, some mornings he's been sleeping in, but he's heard him. So he's gone to bed probably 10 half 10, woke up at like half six.

And then we'd finish, I'd finish work and I was like, oh, I've been actually indoors for four days straight. And I haven't left the house because Kay, Kay, case is still recovering from his operation. So we haven't gone out. We haven't swam. you know, we've literally been indoors. I've been working. I was like, let's just go out for dinner. And then Casey was like, I'm so tired.

I'm crazy. And I could see it like bags under his eyes. I could see it from about two, three o'clock. I was like, you need to go chill. So that just ruined up. Mine broke off the eyes. Yeah, that's how mine are. Like they've just been on a like a weekender,

a week of like four weeks. However the summer holidays have been. So yeah, I do have to try and bring it back every now and then. Yeah. But yeah, again, even then, Lexi's got another parade tomorrow, but that doesn't start till 10, I don't think. Another one. I thought they meant to break up for the month. Last one now, last one.

But yeah, so that doesn't start till 10. So it's, you know, it's one of them. But it's good. It's nice to be able to go out late and stay out late. So, yeah, like even Torriacca's, like, new promenade parade thing's been redone. So, like, there's a few little things that I'm like, oh, we should go down there one evening. take, you know, Hayden loved the fun fair. Cason, in about a week's time,

should be allowed to do more stuff. So, yeah, a bit easier. Summer, to be, to be confirmed. Well, I actually had a plan because I always take time off in August and we were going to go, like, on a little road trip. Oh, I saw you message about that. I was like, oh, that sounds so fun. Yeah, yeah.

Like camper van in, like, road trip. Yeah, yeah. And, yeah, every route is obviously, unfortunately, with wildfires. So I just... There's so many fires lately. Yeah, I actually didn't realize the severity of, like, you know, when I kind of was planning my route on where I was going, what we were doing, because it was between either Portugal or France, really.

Yeah. You know, I was trying to sort the best route for us, and bearing in mind that we lived to. And places you want at Godf as well. Yeah, but different, you know. And, yeah, so it's definitely a no-guile. It's just not worth the risk. I think most places there in the areas have been evacuated.

Where we was going to go is very, like, pine trees in the middle of... Well, it's a foresty campan in place, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. So that's... Like, do hiking and stuff. I think it could have been that... Yeah. That's what I mean. For the severity, in terms of, you know, people,

it could have been a lot, lot worse, you know? I just didn't realise how they've got. We've got an office and two people that... Or three people that worked for us in Al Maria. One of them wasn't too close to it. The other one was, like, bags packed about to be evacuated. It's affected friends and family. And then I was talking to another person that works for us in France.

And she said, like, near her there's been forest fires. fires and all the smoke. So even though she's not being evacuated for potential fires, she was nearly evacuated from the smoke. And I didn't know France. What Devonso? Where was it? There was one near here before. Yeah, the Campermore Golf.

Oh, yeah. And yeah, and it was coming up over, because like on the back of my house, it's literally like fields, isn't it? Oh, it was last ramble. Yeah, it was one last rambleau. Yeah, it was Campermore, I think, and then it made its way down towards your house.

And then there was in the back of San Miguel coming towards my house. And my mom was like, you should leave. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I was like, mm-hmm, and it was literally

late in the evening. So I was like, do I sleep and wake up with the house on fire? But it was weird. It was weird with that smoke. Like you say, you might not,

in the last year, you literally like 10 fires. There is a lot. It's crazy. A lot going on. A lot going on. But, yes. So hopefully that dies down

and sorts of stuff out. Yeah, so for me and my plans at the minute, I'm not going to do that and we'll just like you say, we've made a list of things that we want to do driving out coming home.

Yeah. That's what I said. Now we've got the new car, not that we needed the new car to do drives, but it just feels right now. You do. It feels right now. You need to use it for a trip.

So, yeah, I want to do more on like day trips and stuff. So I think when our friend's over, we said we'd drive up to Benadour one of the days. And yeah, I want to do a long road trip. I've never been to Seville and places like that. That's quite far. So yeah. Anyway, I have a debatable question.

something that's come up last week and then I was like hmm this would be a good topic for chat about so you know I like my massages yeah and I'm well I tried to get one every month and I go through like waves of doing it and then falling off the wagon but anyway I was like haven't had one in a while Casey's ed is operation I slept in the bloody hospital chair and I was like I really need a massage I deserve this absolutely so yeah I think it was like soon after we got home I booked one in But the place that I've pretty much gone to for maybe the last couple of years, I think the place is still there, but the woman that I use become a real estate agent.

So she was like, I messaged her a while back and she was like, oh, no, I don't do it anymore. So I was like, right. So anyway, it came up on my Facebook, an offer for the Anna Sherbakova, whatever the surname is. Fully butchered that. but yeah, in kind of lasagna way. And that place has been there for years. I just never went. But this offer came up for a massage,

which was a pretty decent price, like 45 euros for an hour. So I was like, oh, give it a go. So anyway, I booked it and turned up, and it was a man. Okay. So I was a bit like, oh, okay, a bit weird. Seen as usually you would have a massage by a woman.

Nine times out of ten, I think I can count on one hand how many times I've had a massage by a man and yeah, nearly always it's a woman. And I think in another place, they actually asked me. I was going to say, I was beforehand. So I was a bit like, well, okay. Because in the, I checked like through some Facebook videos.

And there was, there was a man doing it, but there was also a woman doing it. So literally didn't even think, booked a massage, assumed it be a woman and it wasn't. And then I've gone back and had a second one. To be fair, he's probably one of the best massages I've had. But initially. But initially, it didn't. make me go, what, what did you,

initially, what did you think? Did you think, oh, I don't, I feel uncomfortable with a man. I feel uncomfortable, do I need to tell Liam because it's a man?

Or what did you think? Do you get what I'm just trying to work out what he thought was? So Liam's chilled, we all know that. If there's any more laid back, you fall over basically. Exactly.

So I didn't have the initial thing of, oh, this is going to bother Liam because I didn't think it would. it was more so like oh okay yeah a man's going to be touching me what if it's a little not uncomfortable but what yeah what if like we're in a room and he does something like I don't know you just automatically go to worst case scenario and I can't remember if it was after the first massage he'd done or just before I had read a masseuse oh no in I think it was malaga maybe so it's quite far from here where

two or three women had reported him for inappropriate, you know, touching. And he was being arrested. So then I was a bit like... This poor bloke as well. I know, yeah. Fully judged you. Sorry, mate. But, and also, actually, I think his appearance probably helped.

Okay. Because he's shorter than me. Okay. Bold. A bit older. And I wouldn't say I got strong gay vibes, but I definitely got feminine vibes. So he probably could be either or. He might be straight.

He might be gay. But that, I don't know, maybe him just being a bit more feminine made me feel a bit more comfortable. I think it was a really big, rugged bloke. I would have felt like, oh, this is a bit too, like,

past the boundary kind of thing. So, yeah, anyway, it was absolutely fine. I've been back. I've had a second massage. But yeah, that kind of thought is in the back of my mind. And it made you think, yeah.

And then I did ask Liam like, oh, by the way, the massage person's a man. does it bother you? And obviously he was like, no, they've got a job to do. It's his job. So yeah, I thought I'd ask, because I'm sure some people would have been like no. Yeah, I agree because I don't agree with the no.

Do you know what I mean? But I agree that some people would say no. It's a funny one in it because it's really bad that we, you know, like when you even, not bad, but you know, like when you say it helped of the, was it appearance you said away it was, when it shouldn't matter, should it? It shouldn't matter if it's something. someone like our husbands who are a professional masseuse who have a family at home.

Yeah. But it's just that, that's why I think I'm saying it's sad or bad because it's the way the world is that's put these things into our minds and feel like that. Yeah. It's a little bit. Well, I see sometimes a man across the street and I'll cross over. Yeah.

And it's like, he's not done anything. No, but Mitch has said that before. He said this before when he's on his own and he's walking or he feels like, now I'm making it feel like, I'm worse for doing it, you know what I mean? Now I'm aware. Or even like a little girl that's fell over in a part and crying, he's like, I should pick her up, but I don't want to pick her up

because then some people might think this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I've got a door and I want to help her. It's one of them, isn't it? It must be tough for blokes in those kind of situations. And you're just saying that about appearance, that even I remember, obviously, the house that we live in now is right next to our old school. So where, like, Liam used to, like, wait for us outside school

for literally two minutes to say hi, and then my mum would pick us up, because we didn't live near here. And I remember her saying like, oh, I remember like clocking him and being like, oh, he's in a big hood and he looks like a wrong one. And obviously, you know, he totally wasn't.

But yeah, the appearance. And to be fair, the guy, yeah, you walk in and it was a bit like, oh, but then he was like really talked to me through things for five minutes before doing it. So like, how are you feeling? Any pains? Have you got any, you know, like,

professionally. He's doing his job. Completely professional. and you know when you can just sense someone's kind. Yeah, but I don't know if it's in their eyes, but I just felt much more comfortable then because he'd spoken to me, he sounded professional, I didn't get weird vibes.

No, but I also feel that if he was that profession anyway, he would also understand if he didn't feel comfortable. Yeah. You get what I mean. Like, I think he would, if seen as you gave him that chance, even though initially he was a bit like, okay, it wasn't even that you didn't want it. I think it was just what you expected to see.

And then when it's not something that you expect, it takes you back a little bit. You're like, oh, okay. But you went with it and you did it. And in a way, I suppose you're glad you did. Because it makes you think, well, it's one of the probably the best I've had. Yeah. He made me feel comfortable.

Yeah. Doesn't actually make a difference. And maybe in the future, it might make you not have that initial and go, oh yeah, whatever. I don't have that difference then, does it? Yeah. I've had it by both, an actual fact. It does. I'm, yeah, definitely more comfortable.

Like I say, I've gone back and had another one. But I think it's. always in the back of my mind. Like, oh, are you waiting a couple of times before I'm comfortable and then you maybe try people pushing boundary? But then, yeah, it's just, I think. But then you could flip it the other way? How?

With a woman massaging a man. Yeah. So Liam's come with me a few times. I've booked couples massages. He doesn't obviously go off and get massages himself without me. It's not his thing. But sometimes I've booked it for both of us. and it has been a woman, but I'm in the room, so it's a bit different. Yeah.

If he was telling me, like, oh, I'm off to go get a massage regularly, and it's a woman touching me, I would question that. Because I'm not sort of that people to go and get it. Yeah, but if he loved massages, like, I kind of can't have a problem with it, but then I'm much more jealous than me in it. Yes, I think, like, it's that word, isn't it, I think, and it doesn't matter if you're solid or not solid. Yeah. I think sometimes if you're not jealous, like, do you know, yeah. Sometimes that's what I would justify it with. I mean, it depends how far it would go.

Yeah. I'm not psyched. But also at the same, yeah. But at the same time, I suppose, okay, this woman's doing her job, so it makes a difference. But if you suppose kind of turned over if you're on your massage and he's so relaxed and he's, you know, and it's a job. It's nothing, there. He's not even looking at it. No, but he's really enjoying it because it's obviously anyone would enjoy a massage.

It's a weird thing, isn't it? No, it's true. It's that thought of, huh. Yeah. I'm not going to do that. But it's weird because... How much is he enjoying? Yeah, exactly. Don't enjoy it too much. So I definitely was much more jealous younger.

Obviously, you know, hormones, we were together at 16, of course. I was definitely insecure as you are a lot of the time of that age. I was definitely much more jealous. I've mellowed out a bit as I've got older. But then I think luckily, not only do, you know, I obviously, you know, I obviously know Liam now he's not that type of person anyway. And he's always always said it. Like, I wouldn't cheat on you.

I just break up with you because that's the right thing to do. And even though it sounds brutal, it's like, no, he's got morals. Like he's not that type of person. But having said that, he doesn't do a lot of things that could cause me to be jealous. So I think that's part of why I'm probably more mellow as I'm older. Because he doesn't go and get massages by women. He doesn't go out with his mates on a weekend, pissed up, drinking. And I've heard football stories.

Like, you know, I'm glad he's a sober one and I'm also glad he's not, like, out doing that every weekend. Yeah. So luckily, I don't have too much to even get jealous about. Exactly. He definitely hasn't got that personality. Even just being, I don't know, even if you're not, you know, even just someone who's maybe like a, not an attention seeker, but just maybe more of a clown or the louder one.

Yeah, or people that like attention. Like some folks are like that. Yeah. And some people flirt. And I think that's definitely a boundary too far. I don't think it'd ever be Liam, but that doesn't stop other people hitting on him. So if I'm going to get jealous,

it would be because I think other people are giving him the attention, not because he's doing it, doing anything wrong. But he's also a nice person as well. So it's like... He's attracted to... He's attracted... Not me, I don't mean I, this is talking about you. Like, I find him attractive still after this.

I would want to hit on him or if that's what you're doing on. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Do you know what I mean? I can see why other people else? Yeah. You know, when he's having that conversation of whatever it is. I mean, when he's doing his work, you know?

It's the same thing. They're very personal, you know, when they're doing their jobs, they like to have a chat, don't they? And that sort of thing. So, yeah, I've made it before we meet, so even someone just messaging you going, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put a kiss on the end of that. It's just natural, you know, like.

Well, even Liam, this was probably more than 10 years ago. I think he put a wink face at the end of a method. to a client and I saw it and I was like you don't wink wink is too far yeah smiley face fine you don't wink that's flirting and he was like really he had absolutely no idea because he's not thinking of that and I'm like too far yeah just we'd go straight over his head exactly yeah it's but again it's nothing that it's nothing it's not it's my problem it is and it's nothing to do with trust it's nothing about trust here it's just more that when we say let me say it's it the word is jealous. I think that's, that's the word, but what are you jealous of? Because he's your husband.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? He's yours. Everything that you, you know, fear someone else will find attractive. It's yours, you know, it's a weird concept. But husbands, I think I'm like this. But this is good, isn't it? Some of the stories you hear. Some people don't go out looking for it, but when it's shoved in their face and someone's basically like, you know, you know, you never know. Yeah. And yeah. See, I'm the same. Now, my, I don't even, I write over my head, but back in the day I would make anything out of anything. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like literally anything with supermarket, she's just giving my change and said, thanks. Did she though? Well, wasn't it like a year ago at Rosie

McGuire, there was a waitress that kept like talking to him. Like, she'd come to the table and ignore everyone and kept asking him like, do you want to catch up or something? And I was like, what's her deal? And I remember him thinking, she's doing her job and I'm like, no, no, no. She's going a step too far she is. She's going out of her way to come directly to you. How many times do you need to be offered catch up? Like, once is enough.

But no, I remember thinking like, hold on a minute and that was only a year ago. Yeah. But I also think as well, I mean, we're very chill people. It comes like an actual joke between our relationships. To be fair, it's definitely not saying that carries on and it's an argument. Literally, they're just laughing our face. What the fuck are you on about? Yeah.

But I think it would depend as well on the week. You know, like how your hormones are, things that irritate you. You know, you exaggerate something sometimes, don't you? You know, when you're up and down. So something that you might have not have picked up on or found annoying. Yeah. Last week, you would that week.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Because it's not something that we're generally like. Yeah. Yeah. No, I wouldn't say that I'm super jealous now. But like I say, I think if he was a different type of person or if he was doing different things, I think I've still got it in me to bring it out more.

more, whereas I'm just lucky that, yeah, he doesn't, not test me, that's not the right word, but he's not in situations where I would need to be jealous, really. But if, like I say, if he was, had a, you know, regularly, still going out with his football weights every weekend and everyone's pissed up and, you know, if he, yeah, goes away with the mates on holiday and stuff. It's like a feeling of like, you know, you know, he's not or a wooden or whatever, but you get that feeling what if someone, one tested it.

Yeah. Even though you know he'd pass, that's not the right way to use. But you know what I mean? It's that, I'm not as much now, but I've been a psycho, haven't I?

So. I have. Yeah. I remember being at college. And bear in mind, we were 17 at this stage. We've been together a year and a bit at 16. We've moved countries.

So we had all that kind of pressure of, he was living with my family and still quite a new relationship, you know, young. And I know it sounds like, funny, but I don't mean this in a thing either. We had this thing of Spain and England, isn't it? Well, I think that's what made me a bit psycho, is because I come from, like, our age group was the oldest in the school. We ruled the school, like, very confident in that school. We knew everyone, you know. Or just everyone, everyone knew everyone. So it was like. Exactly. Like, it was just a

comfortable environment and, you know, I felt good about myself. I didn't really feel that insecure. Then I've gone back to England. Now, here is very different. We, yeah, we liked fashion. Yeah, we liked our things, but there wasn't the level of pressure to look a certain way that there is in England. Stoves now. And I'd missed that. So I wasn't the most fashionable. I didn't have all the things. And I went to, it wasn't posh, but it was a little bit in a different area. And I suppose it was posher. We had a mixture of kids that went to like normal schools, but there was a lot of people that come to that college that went to like a grammar school. Yeah.

So that is like blazers when they're like in younger school. So it is another level. So there was this group of like people with money. People with money. Or being bought up with money, I suppose. Or privileges or I don't know. I have to call it because. Yeah.

And they just had. I feel I was privileged, but also my mom and dad didn't, wasn't rich. Exactly. But I get what you. Yeah. So there was like this air of a bit of like arrogant. Yeah. They came in the group.

They'd all gone to school together. There was a few of us that were all different. they weren't necessarily my group of friends, but I had one or two that, like, kind of bridged it and knew them. So kind of they were around. And again, even though the college was big and everyone kind of was coming and going, it wasn't as intensive like a school. Yes.

But at the same time, you know, you're all in the canteen together. You all know each other. So, yeah, I did feel like shit because they were coming in with like, you know, the newest stuff, like all designer things and like hair and makeup dynes. I wasn't that. No. Like we've said it on the podcast before. like you would get up and wash and blow dry and straighten your hair and I'd be like,

call me when I've got five minutes and I'd roll out a bit. Literally. So. They're on top of the head, helmet on. Exactly. Like, yeah, we, yeah, I like to look nice and we had moments, but I wouldn't say that I cared that much like they do. So, yeah, I definitely was a bit insecure, but I remember there was two stories that

come out from that time just to show how psycho I was. Actually, I might take mine back. I wasn't psycho, actually. I actually wasn't, was I? compared to the, yeah, go on, let's hear it. But, let's see, and you guys can judge. Oh, well, too. So I had a friend who's still my friend to this day,

and she was on the college netball team. And Liam was obviously in the football team, very good at football. That sounds very American. Yeah, it was. It was literally. But Liam's moved to Portsmouth, knows nobody, comes into college, plays football, everybody knows it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, like, I've lived in this town. Not that I went to school with any of these people So I've had to meet everyone from scratch I actually bumped into Tony the first day of college actually So there was one person but she didn't stay in college long So I didn't know her for, well, she wasn't there for a while So yeah, I've made new friends Yeah, I've got my little friendship group

All's good, but obviously everyone knows Liam The football team's massive So everywhere they go like everyone knows like all of them And they're 17 year old lads They're all full of themselves and all of that Not that Liam had an ego, but he's part of all of that. And anyway, so my friends told me, and I still remember it 20 years later, that there was this girl, and she was like one of the girls that all the guys liked kind of thing.

So they went on a coach to a football game, but they shared the coach with the netball team. So there was a football team and the netball team. They were going away to some tournament, to some game or whatever. My friend's on the coach. Anyway, this girl has gone, oh, who's that guy about Liam? Oh, I'm getting my goosebumps bill. And she was like, oh, that's my friend's boyfriend. And she went, we'll see about that.

It's actually like an American film. Literally, yeah, so my friend told me that and this girl just boiled my blood every single time I saw her for two years. I don't think I ever confronted her. And she's one of those girls. It's all mouth, but like, does shit, which is lucky because if she had tried, then, you know, it would have been a very different story.

we probably would have had a brawl in the middle of the canteen. She would have brought out more American. Yeah, exactly. But no, she ended up being harmless, but I just couldn't stand it. Like, even when we do sit together. Oh, yeah, they just played in my mind. Like, yeah, I know your fucking game.

I know your fucking game. And obviously, we're 17. Like, girls don't give a shit. Like, clearly she's, you know, like, I don't care if she's... Why isn't it making like one of my and slap someone around? Yeah, literally, like... even though I'm talking about it. So anyway, yeah, I just had this in my mind every time I saw her.

So, yeah, that pissed me off. And obviously, 20 years later, that's still a thing. So not that that made me psycho, but that, like, I had a problem with this girl for two years. Yeah, but I also, that's a quite right reason. I think I was in the right. And obviously, I didn't go confront and like, what do you say? No, I could have done and I wanted to, but I was like, no, I didn't.

So anyway, yeah, that doesn't really make me look like a psycho, but that bothered me. It could have. And that's the kind of environment when you're, you're, you know, new relationship of age. Yes. So yeah, it made me insecure. So what I ended up doing, this is the psycho part. Okay.

Is I got my friend's phone who I knew Liam didn't have her number. And I text him saying, oh, I've seen you around college. Like, you know, I kind of like you or something like that. Oh, Bill. Like, not, I can't even remember what I said, but basically, like, I see you, like, you know. I'm here. I don't know if it was like, do you want, like, we should meet up or we should do so I can't remember exactly what I put.

But I basically text him to see if he would reply to this random person. He didn't. He passed the test, luckily. Did he ever say anything to you? He never said anything to me. And I think I only admitted this like a few years ago. So no, he never said that he got a text from someone. Never replied.

Just, yeah. Do you think he knows because you would have literally stormed? I think at that age I would have hit the roof. Especially after, obviously he was using it. Obviously, you know what I mean? after. Did he know about you knowing about the comment that the... I think I'd told him that, yeah. So I think he knew that at the time. Yeah, he knew that at the time. But he didn't know that I'd obviously sent that text message and just, yeah, never told me about it because he probably thought like it would make me worry more.

Yeah. For him, it was a girl in the college. It's funny, isn't it? Because we all think about doing things like this, but I actually probably never done anything about it. I did. You did? I did. Yeah. Can you imagine if he'd text Matt? Well, it would have been done. Well, you would, but you kind of would have wished you never did, wouldn't you? Well, yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Well, yeah and no. Yeah, and no, because in my eyes, think even now, like, if he would have replied, then it would never have worked because at some point he would have cheated on me or talk to someone. Because if he's going to reply to a text message, that's, I think, if you're a cheater, nine times out of ten, I think it's in you. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, you either don't love that. person enough or you're just a person who is never satisfied and you're it's not like because there are bloats out there that you can just tell like I just know that you're a cheater that you don't have any respect for any of the women that you're with and you just always want the attention and you want something else um so yeah if and women there is women and women as well exactly it goes totally both ways there's there are people out there that just aren't fulfilled and I think part of it is you haven't found the right person because if you had it wouldn't even be a conversation.

But also, you need to do some work on yourself because usually it's people that aren't happy with themselves that need that attention from everywhere. I was going to say, like, sometimes you can push people away. So imagine you have someone like Leo. I'm very lucky I didn't push him away because I think I did. So imagine you have someone like a Liam or Mitch Webb. And then when this is a bit different, we can't really compare this.

Because when we were younger, we were both just like that. Yeah, Mitch is mature. But, you know, like that, and then you're so just, you know, insecure with yourself that you think something's going to happen. And actually, I'm not doing anything that I can't deal with you. Yeah. Sometimes you can do that. And I think, I think part of it was age. Part of it was like new relationship hormones.

First relationship. Like, this is the first time I've even been in any of these situations and I'm trying to figure it out. And yeah, like I wasn't the most confident. No. I do think it was age. and changed country. And I think, yeah, luckily, Liam had that patience and, you know, sought probably more.

That was just a small part of me. Well, it wasn't like a typical, I know it sounds, come on, I'm going to say, it wasn't a typical 17-year-old who went over to another country, a new college, in the football team, probably could have tried it of anyone and gone, oh, do you know what, this is brilliant. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

And I know football guys cover for each other, so there probably could have been times where it wouldn't have even got back to me. Isn't it? where I got them called out for saying that I'd cover for a best mate. Oh yeah, you've got a lot of slack for that on there on Instagram. A lot of people did not agree. So I've a really good friend. Yeah.

You're what's wrong with the world apparently and you're what's wrong with society. I did say I would question her life and choice. Yeah, exactly. It's not like, oh, you do whatever you want. But I will grow, Anna. But no, I think, luckily he had that patience and I definitely, you can't live like that. You can't be in a relationship like that long.

term. No. So obviously I grew and yeah, I built that trust and, you know, he always showed me that I could trust in. But I've seen other friends that, you know, the guys don't make them feel that 100% trustworthy and secure in their relationship. So they do pull that psycho out of a girl and it's a shame because sometimes you see a person and you know the girl.

And yeah, I think we've all got that bit in us. But that is heightened when you don't feel safe. and secure in your relationship. And some guys don't do that for the girl. And then they're like, oh, she's psycho. It's because you're not answering back when you're out on a night out. You know, things are getting back to her that you're this, you know, you might have done things. And it's like, then the psycho comes out and you're like, whoa.

And it's like, you've made it worse. Even though nothing's actually. Sometimes it doesn't happen. And sometimes girls are psycho because they know for a fact. Yeah. They're being gatslit into thinking that nothing's happened. No, I know. But yeah, no, I think I definitely had that in me.

And luckily, like, you know, it was able to be boxed up. Because, yeah, Liam is a good guy. But if I had been with a guy who would push me and test boundaries and stuff, I'd be, I probably would have killed someone. Yeah. I think I've got that in me. Yeah. But then this is what I mean.

So like you say, if you've got girls, girls at that time, but women who have that mentality of, well, let's say. about that. Yeah. God, help the other people. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. You know, who can get heightened from those things because shit, you know?

It's not a nice feeling, is it? There's someone else is out to steal your life. To ruin your relationship. Exactly. And like you say, there are some blokes that have no intention to do anything. But when it's offered on a plate, there's this TV show that I watch. And it's literally like, why any... couple would go on this show, I have no idea, but it's called Temptation Island.

Okay. Couples go on it. And usually it's because one side of the couple, like, we've been dating for however many years that I want to do the next step, like, we need to get engaged or, you know, one of them is like further along and wants to make it more serious. And for some reason, the other person's not at the stage. It sounds like it's trying to make a problem, though. You literally are giving someone an ultimatum.

Or is it called the ultimatum? There's two. There's two shows. One's the ultimatum, whereas we, we're. go through this process and if by the end of it you don't propose we're over. That's one show. So you're kind of, yeah, you're forcing someone into it. And the other one is Temptation Island where, you know, we want to test this relationship.

Why anyone would go on that? I have no idea. But you basically go on as a couple. They spit the guys and the girls up into different villas. Then they put other people in the house specifically there to like, you know, that fancy you that want to get with you. And then they show clips to the other house. So literally some guys first night having sex in the shower.

five six year relationship and others are like you know respect I think I'd be so boring so some people have no intention to do it but then if a girl was like fully hitting on you and like showing you maybe the attention that in your marriage and with two kids that you don't get because life is life that yeah some people do get swayed so

you never know no I know but I'm not even talking about that I've got that Liam, please don't leave me. She's going to be questioning, like, why have you acting so weird? Just watch the podcast back. No, we are lucky. But I think to have the relationships that we have, it takes, like, work and effort and stuff. And, you know, even this morning I was watching a TV show.

I watched so much TV on the sound so bit. But, and it's this couple in a relationship, they've got two kids. She's taken off. She's doing all these big things. And he's ended up. giving up his career watching the kids managing the house because she's got all these opportunities. And he's like, I feel like shit. I've done this for years. I need to go back to work. Like I don't have anything that's mine. And she's like, oh, I'll just pay you to stay at home.

Whatever you are and I'll just pay you to stay at home. Like, because for her, like, you do everything else to keep this life going. And if you don't do it, then like, can I do the life and have all the things that I want? and it's like she just don't see how unhappy he is because she's in she's thinking of it from her point of view and it's like yeah sometimes you really do

have to keep keeping in touch and making sure that you're both as happy as together you're right because I feel that in summer I feel that where obviously I have to be in work sort of thing and you know we come to that kind of decision okay you'll you'll be at home or with the kids that say

yeah yeah But I can tell when he hasn't, you know, been out or, you know, I'm not saying been out. I don't know. That sounds right. But when it just gets a bit too much? Yeah, just he hasn't got a day, you know, of work, let's say, because he's like, he's not, well, I don't need to, I can do all this from home or whatever, you know. But where we're so used to all getting up, getting out, doing our own thing. Yeah.

And then coming back, when it's not like that. You don't get a break. I don't know what the word. It's not cabin fever. But, you know, like I feel like he just needs. to just go and do you, whatever it's just going your own bit, because you usually get that time in work. And it does.

It brings you that thing of, well, this is my thing. Well, I feel like that sometimes because I literally will work. And then I'm with the boys and with Liam. And Liam has some of the time when he goes out to work. So, yeah, I'm stuck at home for work. But then I go from being work to with the kids sometimes. I don't feel like I've got that time. And even though Liam, when he's not here, he's working.

Like, he's driving in between jobs. he's like pop into the shop and it's like I feel like you've got that little bit of like piece of quiet and a bit of freedom and a bit of freedom I feel like if I go out I'm rushing to get back quick yeah so that is a me problem yeah um that I say that about myself too though yeah you know where he where Mitch has these things that he does well you said it we don't have hobbies exactly annoys me because but not annoys me that he's doing it annoys me that I don't do those things do I mean because it's not that I'm not oh god he's doing I'm like go and do it I want, good.

Yeah, yeah, but you just don't do it for yourself. But what can I do? Because I don't want to... Yeah, I would like five minutes to myself, please. And he would love for me to join him at the gym or whatever. I absolutely love it. Oh, you're not a gym girly. No, I'm not.

At all. I might, when I, you know, I think, sometimes I think to myself, okay, you know, I could get into that routine of going with him in the morning. But at the moment, again, just the kids and that, I'm just, I'm not, I'm all right doing every now and then at home. Yeah. I could say that I was somebody in it, but yeah. My mat and my weights are there.

I was going to say, you don't even do that. I have some. No, I think like anything exercising gym related is just not used. You and Mitch need to find something different. Like, even if it is on a Friday when it's not so hot. Exactly that. And the kids are at school, you go for a ride or a walk or something. Yeah, exactly. The walking around or whatever it is.

Yeah, yeah, I think having that time for you is important because that, yeah, it just brings you much more closer together and you're much more able mentally to deal with chaos and with the dinners and with the, you know, screaming and fighting and the mess of the house when you've had that bit that's away. Yeah. But I think we're not good at just letting it go and go and go to the point that even now, Liam, we'll go. Even the other day, I was really tired. And he went like, go have a nap and I did. I went and had a nap. I felt great. Wow. Yeah, I was falling asleep on the sofa. It was a, I think it was a weekend. And I think it was after the hospital and all of that.

So obviously, you know, just in the heat and just not sleeping. And Hayden had a cold and we've been getting up really early and had broken sleep because we have actually got to a point Hayden's been sleeping through. Right. And then a couple of days he wasn't. So it's like, it's like a tent-ton brick. So then I was falling in the sleep and he was like, go sleep in bed. And normally I'd be like, no, no, no.

And I'd still like have a really crap sleep. And Hayden, if anyone falls asleep, he's like, wake up. Oh, no. Which is normal Hayden. Yeah. So, no, he sent me to the bedroom and I had, yeah. a half an hour out of that. That's just acknowledgement, isn't it? Especially in relationships. But I didn't say

I'm tired, I need to go. That's true. So, yeah. But also, I was, as you were saying it, just thinking about the, the jealousy or the, you know, these stories that we've, you know, these things are happening in relationships growing up. You know, even, I don't

think it's my parents, but, you know, whatever. And you hear like back in the day, oh, yeah, I've had an iron through at me and I've had this thrown at me and all these kind of things. Yeah, that generation and threw a lot of stuff. Yeah, I mean, I've, yeah, I think I'm a throwback. I must get it from my mum.

But I know I did it, well, I don't even know what the reason was, but I was, we was in, I was pregnant in the hospital. And, well, it was this long ago. It was like a, you know, like the DVD thing, like a DVD player. Oh, the screen that popped up, like a little portable DVD player. Yeah, and. God, that's a blast. Yeah, is it?

I was in the hospital room and it wasn't even like, in labour or, uh, I think I was. I think I was pregnant. I think I was pregnant, yeah. So I don't, but then I don't know what I was there. You know, I was always in an hour of my pregnancy. So God knows. Because with Mason, you were in for a while trying not to deliver.

With Morgan, I had kidney stones, didn't I? Yeah, it couldn't be fair. And I just remember, I don't even know what he said now. I couldn't tell you, but it pissed me off. And I threw the brush at him. And I think he put the DVD and I smashed the screen as a DVD. And it wasn't even mine. It was his mom.

So I was just to be like, oh, I'm so sorry. But yeah, I just. You were just saying things, then I thought, yeah, all the stories, you know, not just our generation, but even like old our parents and whatever else. You know, all these things that we've done, oh yeah, but we're all right. Oh, I go, ma. It's fine. Yeah, no. I've never been a thrower.

Yeah, I've never been a thrower. I can't think of any day. I just remember that once. I've definitely thrown. Blame the pregnancy hormones. I broke the screen. I have to do anything about. Yeah, no, see, we have limits when we argue, which is good, I think.

Like, we have like a parameter of where we're willing to go. Like, we're not allowed to swear at each other in the heat of the moment. Oh, wow. Is this like a rule book that you got out before? It's not even like we've agreed it, but I think like once or twice that if we've been in thing and I've sworn, he's like, don't swear at me. And it's like, no, like we can't, we don't go above or below like that. See, I'd probably swear more. See, like, you fucking, fucking fucking, fucking fat.

Just trying to think of every swear where I've swore. There's plenty of times where I've swore. And he's like, don't swear at me. And I'm like, I'm not swearing at you. I'm throwing in the sentence. Like, I'll say like fucking this, but I won't say you fucking, you know, I can't swear at you. Oh, I would.

He don't even like me swearing in the sentence. But no, I think, I think that's good really. Because sometimes you go so far that you can't take some things back. And I am a grudge holder. If he said anything and sometimes like, I'll watch a TV show. and I'm like, if it ever got like that, I don't think we'd be able to come back from it. So it's good that we do because I would never forgive him

if he took it too far. We don't storm out. You know, we have a disagreement. We argue, but yeah, we don't, we can't threaten, like, divorce or leaving each other. I can't swear at each other. Yeah, like, some people do, like, oh, fuck you, I'm off. Like, I'm done, I'm done.

Like, you hear that all the time. Yeah. We don't do that. So, yeah, there are limits. Mine's more just don't go to sleep on an argument. I think my mom brought me up on that thing. Yeah, people say. She don't sleep on argument, which, which, to be honest, we don't really argue, but if we ever, now it's more of like a, and we know it's because of a he or just tired.

It's not actually anything. Whereas back in the day, it was obviously about something specific. Yeah. And it would go on. So I'd be walking upstairs and I'd be shouting or he'd walk away and I'd follow him. Yeah. Don't fucking walk away from me. We'll fucking listen to me.

And he just wanted to shut up and I'll just keep up. And I just keep going on and on and on. And you know you're doing it. And then I, you know, because you know, it's like a thing, isn't it? You want a reaction, then you get a reaction. You're like, oh my God, you reacted and then do, do, do. But this is what I'm saying. It's all, you know, I mean, it's saying it's all, you know, I mean, some people this age do it.

But it was definitely for us a long, long time. But there's some people that are like arguing couple. That's just what they do. They fight and then they get over it. We're not like that. And I think that would bother me. Like when we get to a point, luckily, touch wood. We're on the same page most of the time.

So if it is anything, it's never a big topic that we really need to get through and get on the same page about. Normally it's like bickering silly things. So it's very easy for us to keep it like there. And I'm not, I'm a little bit more of probably an arguer now than I was before I'd just bottle it up, be silent and give him the silent treatment. And then he'd have to like try and like come back around until I was over it. So that's why we never really had these big explosive things because I would just go silent. and not say nothing. Now I'm a bit better, which is, you know,

I don't think you should bottle it up and keep it in because it's worse. And sometimes he wouldn't even know what he's done wrong. So now I am better at like, if something bothers me, I'll say it. I'm still not great at it, but I'm much better than I was. But yeah, for us it's easy to not go to those lengths because one, we don't really have anything that serious

that we really need to get off our chest. And I think personality-wise, we're not big, argumentative people. We can be, but we're just definitely not now. I think like say you mallow out a bit, don't you? Definitely. It's probably, if anything, you know, when you just, well, for me it probably went on I'm due on or whatever like that.

But, you know, like, even they have, I know, it's like Mitch sometimes gets this due on anything and it. So you're like, yeah, you're not. Well, there I am. Yeah. You're not. You're not acting like you're okay. You know what I mean?

How annoying because I know I've done that to Liam. Yeah. And it's, if anyone's in a mood, it's me that's in a mood. mood. Like Liam's, you know, happy go lucky, very rarely, luckily has anything that bothers into the point. But if he even just reacted to me in some of the ways that I've reacted to him, it would piss me off. Like, like, I'm fine. I'm fine. Like, that would piss me off if I asked him, are you alright? If you went to me, I'm fine. So, yeah. But you're not fine. You don't act like, you're fine, but you're telling me you're by. We work because we're different.

Yeah. So that, that, that, that, it would only be if we was on, if we were both Aggie at same time if that makes sense. But luckily you miss it so that the other person brings you back. It's easier if you just said, I don't know what's wrong with me, right? Because then I can go, all right. If you go, I'm fine. If you go, I'm fine. I'm fine. I used to say, I'm fine. Now I say, I'm fed up.

I just say I'm due on. I'm Mitch went, I thought you are. Yeah, so I think, like you say, you just get to know, you've got to be more honest and open. But in terms of, you know, that jealousy side, I mean, that's just like you say it's more of a care. If it goes too far, it's a bit more of a...

I would hate for Liam to be jealous. Like, genuinely, like, when I've seen, you know, blokes be jealous, whether it's on TV or whether it's in, like, our friends and stuff, I'm like, if he tried to tell me, like, don't like what you're wearing, you can't go out like that, or message me the entire time that I'm out with my friends, like, that would suffocate me. I could not deal with that.

That's not healthy, though. No, it's not healthy. I feel like we're healthy jealous. Yeah, we show we care. No, I genuinely mean that. You need to feel wanted by the other person. And if you're getting attention, then, you know, I'd quite like see him a little bit jealous. You've said this before.

Yeah, like, not definitely not like on a regular basis. Yeah, that's at that level. React. React. I don't need to react. You're my wife. Yeah, and I say that I'd want to see him jealous, but I don't think I do. I think sometimes just showing me. me a bit more that, well, no, he does show me that he wants me.

It's us. This is what I mean. And again, we're not, well, I'm not. I don't think I'm as much as you are at this age now, if you get what I'm saying. But it's that, isn't it? It's like, we think we want these things. Actually, we're sweet. Like, everything's fine. And I do genuinely believe what we have, or what more you have anyway, is more, is healthy. Yeah. Because it just keeps that bit of, I do fancy you. I don't want anyone to get this. You know what I mean? And they're not, but I just, you're mine. You know, it's one of them, isn't it?

Yeah, that's what I mean. I think showing a tiny bit of jealousy to show the other person that, yeah, you still want them and stuff like that. I think that's healthy. But yeah, Liam's just so the other side. I mean, he definitely shows me that he wants me, but not in a jealous way, not in, like, other people, like, just in between us, like at home and stuff. So I definitely feel wanted.

So I don't think I need the jealous bit to show me that. But, like, I remember even being a... at college with all them guys in the football team. And, you know, I used to get a few comments on my boobs back then, like, oh, yeah, she's had a boot job and stuff. I definitely didn't. Is that more than nice? Yeah, more than nice.

And I remember, I don't know how it come up and it was never a serious thing. But obviously, page three was a big thing back then. And there was either a comment or a joke about like, oh, would you let me be on page three and he was like yeah and I'm like in this college with all those guys that would literally just have the newspaper in college and you know they'd rub it in your face yeah but see that is typical leo like yeah Mitch not a fucking chance but then on the other side of it now now I feel like actually he'd probably like yeah go on well that's what leon was like yeah she's mine yeah like look at it like yeah I'm lucky I've got that yeah so yeah I think I'd much prefer that then the suffocating jealousy

yeah that would drive me mad at that would drive me mad at yeah like yeah I'm lucky I'm sorry that would drive me I could not be in a relationship like that. No. But that's just how laid back Liam is. Yeah. But now I think because he does show me that he still fancies me and wants me, then it's cool. But if I didn't get that and he didn't get jealous, I'd be a bit like, hmm. But then, yeah, and it all came from a massage.

And, yeah, this whole topic came from massage, yeah. But then I get that question. Yeah. Or that, oh, first off feeling. And if Liam turned around to me and said, well, you can't go there anymore. I'd be like, oh. Yeah, you'd just. feel a bit like, hmm, but there's nothing wrong.

Yeah. But in actual fact, you still had that first feeling. Yeah. Weird one, isn't it? Yeah. But like you say, not for a jealousy thing, but for a, is this safe? Yeah. Kind of thing.

Okay. More than anything. But no. Been twice. He's very good. Massure. So I definitely highly recommend. And like I said, I've been to at least five, six places locally here.

And he is the best massage I've had. Yeah. So I don't know if it's his. technique, if it's just maybe being stronger. I don't really like a super, like, my mum loves like a really hard time. I don't like it like that. But yeah, no, highly recommend. There you go then.

Just shows, doesn't it? But I wonder if you guys would be okay with that. Yeah. Or like you say, the other way around. Or the other way around. Would you let your guy go and have female massages by himself? And would you be okay with a man massaging you? Yeah, I, I, just thinking it about that.

Now I don't really, again, it'd be a bit weird if he did go on his own, because that's just weird, generally, do you know what I mean? But I think our age now. Yeah, you're with me or you're not. Well, I ain't going to do it, so you might just go and get him from Sutherland. That sounds like even worse actually, didn't it? Yeah. Just the massage, just the massage, people.

Oh, I thought you were talking about something like, okay. No, no. But you know what I mean? You know, like that. You could do it. Yeah. You could give him a massage. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. But true, but no. Well, I'd pay for it. Liam's a very good massage actually. I am. I know I'm a good massis. Yeah.

I can give a good massage but like my hands get tired after a while so he only gets like 10, 15 minutes. But Liam's very good. If Liam would give me one regularly, then I probably wouldn't go out. I can't, we give, to be fair, we do give each of the massage. I don't go to lie. Yeah. But I just know it's never fucking just a massage. That's what I said to Liam.

So it's just like, when you. know you just want a massage. I can't ask because it's not just going to be. Exactly. That is 100% true. And then, yeah, he comes up with the, whether it's a lie or not, like, oh, but it just relaxes me and fall asleep. He has actually fallen asleep giving me a massage before.

Oh, wow. Like when we've gone to bed and he's given me one. So it's probably half true. But yeah, you're just lying there like, right, how long is this going to go on for? Is it a massage or not? Yeah, no. So going and paying for it, I know that never. I'm in and I'm out and it is a massage.

Yeah, exactly that. Exactly. It's like, can you give me a massage? I'm like, oh. Come on, man, let's go. Is it ever just a massage? Is that the same for you guys at home? Is it ever just a massage?

And yeah, exactly that. And have you ever been in moments of, you know, jealous and you think, what are we doing or you have parents? Oh, yeah. Tell us your jealous stories. Yeah. Have you gone to the extreme of fake text messaging? Yeah, and what was the outcome of it?

Yeah. Because you've got no, nothing from it. No, exactly. Thankfully. Yeah, mine didn't. come back to bite me in the ass has anything that you've done come back to bite you in it? Or have you had some little rat, either sex, do you know what I mean? Like sniffing after your time. Yeah, just hearing that sort of a comment, you know, in bringing it into.

Yeah. Let's hear it. Yeah, I'd like to hear your stories. It'd be interesting to know and we'll share, we'll share anything that we get on the pod. Might make it be a little less psycho. Yes. I'm comfortable to admit it. I'm not like that anymore. So I'm comfortable to admit. It's true, isn't it? My crazy teen years. I don't think. I've probably done loads it. I can't think now.

No, I think you're just a bit different. I'd done some tests. You would just walk up to a girl and punch her in the head. Yeah, that's probably that I didn't want to say. But then, I didn't give anyone the challenge. Having said that, if I was that age and we had been in a situation where someone had done that, I would drug a bitch.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The divine in me. Yeah. So, yeah.

Anyway, tell us your stories. We like to hear this kind of thing. I'm sure you at home would also like to hear the juicy stories. So thanks for joining us for an episode about jealousy. And, yeah, please send in your stories. Right. Let's go to the beach. See you later.