The Roundtable of Gentlemen - Episode 297: Beat the Heat

Episode Date: August 16, 2016

The gang is joined by John F. O'Donnell to discuss the effects of the miserable weather on the New York City wildlife, learn about unscrupulous ruffians who are using the humidity to justify their lives of crime, and to swap SNL audition bits.

The round table. Gentlemen, let's broaden our minds. Ladies and gentlemen, and let them go watch what? Fire at will. It's time for action, gentlemen. Gentlemen, what's the topic of discussion? Civility, gentlemen. Always civility. gentlemen. Always civility.

Alright, I'll pray. Name of the father and the son and my fucking balls. I'm gonna go ahead and pray. I mean, all we can talk about is the heat, guys. What are we doing out there? You know, I'm gonna pray

that hopefully my laundry is done this evening by those beautiful little Polish women. Because someone had to drop it off today. It wasn't me because I couldn't do it. Because right now I'm wearing lingerie underpants. And you know what sucks in this heat? Lingerie underpants. I was wearing jeans all day yesterday in the city.

It is lacy. It is scratchy. It is shitty. I wasn't thinking. But you can't go commando because I don't want everyone to be able to smell my vagina. I need a barrier. I don't like my dick rubbing against my zipper. I don't understand any goon who thinks that that's a proper way to put their fucking penis in their pants.

There are a lot of men that are into it. You know what? I just can't. I'll do it every once in a while. Sure. Do you guys free ball? I did it for like two or three years. And then you're trailing the prayer here, Holden.

Sorry. I'm just hoping. Please, Christ, may the waters be swift and may the soap be heavy. The water my ass. Because I need the laundry to be done by the time this is over so I don't have to wear lace underpants tomorrow. Thank you, Christ, our Lord and Savior. I want to point out my socks right now. Amen. All right, amen.

Welcome to the roundtable of gentlemen. Holden is wearing shorts and unmatching socks. So this is actually the best he's done in about four years. Pretty rough. Pretty good. All right, so this is the show. It's not a tell. Man, I am scratchy and terrible downstairs.

You know what? One thing I am thankful for is that we have air conditioning In this room right now Way to take actually we don't have air conditioning So it's the fucking worst nightmare Alright that's good Eddie will be here soon I think he's currently Holding up traffic or something Holding up traffic that's a good segue

Holdenators ho No Are you ready for some Playstation Network shoutouts You're forced legally to Torabisu118 Is a douche lord And says

He just does the whole Kid Rock The boogie Also fuck Kid Rock Scissormetiernin Says Let's write a book about Ben called Hugs and Kissel. Comic Blunder is a stinky, stinky boy. Zane is a fucker.

And Daryl Leak says, Dragon Sound 1987 looks like a homeless wizard with an idiot beard, and you all need to stop hating the shout-out and let Holden shine. And I think that's a really great final statement from me. Everybody else with your PlayStation shout-outs, I will get to them next week. I don't want to overload the show. You're welcome. I like Hugs and Kissel.

Hugs and Kissel is nice. That's the name of my first comedy album. It'll be very exciting. Hugs and Kissel. It just sounds like you're just going to accidentally kill a bunch of kids. What's the name of the fellow? Lenny. Yeah, Lenny. He's all like the baby, was it Bunny?

He loves too much. He hugs too hard. Well, why wouldn't he? Holden, you are kind of shiny right now. You've got a certain glean to you. I stood in the shade for 15 minutes waiting for the train just now and covered in sweat at the end of it. Standing

in place, Ben. It is a fucking nightmare out there and you have a bit of a sheen yourself, might I add. Thank you so much. Kevin Barnett is with us

for those that have looked at the internet. He's going to be the next cast member for Saturday Night Live. What was that unknown website? It was a very strange list

and an incredibly odd description of me. I'm really proud of you. What did it just say? Black man? Basically, it did. Honestly, it did. It was like, he's like Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, or Richard Pryde. They just named three black people. And you're not like any of those people. I'm not like any of them.

Did they say something about you being edgy or something like that? Yeah, he's like that SNL can use some edge and they find a bunch of it in Kevin Barnett. The next Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryde. He's like, SNL can use some edge and they find a bunch of it in Kevin Barnett. The next Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor. He's like the three black comedians

we've heard of. You won't even pray on the podcast. I gotta find this. Oh, it's so great. We all remember when Richard Pryor did that amazing bit

about his subscription to Horseless, right? And then he segwayed into the dinosaur piece. Yeah, literally, if you didn't bring that up, I was just gonna say that I have video game news, and I was excited to have beaten Dark Souls 3.

There it is. There it is. I beat it. Is he Richard Pryor? Come back to life? The next Richard Pryor, man. Because Dark Souls 3 is about the struggle, and that's exactly what Richard Pryor is about. This website is so obscure that I cannot find it on Google.

I never heard of it. You got to go on Facebook and you got to look. They didn't even tag you in Facebook. You're not. I look. I went to your page. It's not even there. They tweeted at me.

They tagged me on Twitter or whatever. And I saw it and I was like, well, this is weird. Somebody's floating you for SNL, dude. Yeah. I don't know what's going on. All right. There's no way it's not going to happen. Have you even gotten an audition?

Has anything happened? No, man. I'm just hanging out. Can you do characters? No. man. I'm just hanging out. Can you do characters? No. Can you do Bill Clinton? Nope. Sounds like Chris Rock.

That sounds like Chris Rock. Chris Rock. Put him in the corner, baby. Chris Rock corner. All right. The guy you just heard speaking works for Russian television. He's the mouthpiece for Vladimir Putin. You're going to love him.

Put your hands together, I guess. Will you stop saying that? John Epocon. That's like the meanest series ever. It's like the worst thing ever. Before I just go like, hey guys, how are you? Without context, that sounds ridiculous. I am part of the most punk rock left-wing political comedy show on the interweb.

Redacted Tonight, son. If you haven't heard of it, you need to get the fucking word out. Yeah. Wait, is Vladimir Putin left wing? Yeah. Cool. I hear he rides on bears. He does.

Yes, he does. And horses with his shirt off. Yeah, we just did a great Abe Lincolns Top Hat. And so it's always wonderful to have Jay Fodden Town. Did you introduce him the same way? I did. I did, yeah. And then we didn't even talk about it.

He works for Fox News and shit like that. I think that's why. You just jump at your opponent with an allegation so that it can cover up your own allegation. That's a very good Fox News strategy. He's a master at it. It's the best. I'm sorry your time is being cut, Jay Fodd. We've had to go right to a breaking news story.

Marcus Parks has one. You want a news story? I think we could do a news story. I Parks has one. You want a news story? I think we could do a news story. I mean, is everyone done talking, conversing? I think so. It's really hot out there. I might take a second to say shit because I'm eating.

I got to eat these flouters to fuel my edge, man. Yeah. I mean, well, while you're doing that from ZapToIt.com, one thing Saturday Night Live has lacked in recent years has been a true edge. Barnett could go a long way towards solving that problem in a funny, endearing way. Edge with endearingness. That doesn't exist! No, it doesn't. You're not edgy.

Wait, wait, wait. Over the years, he's earned the approval of folks like Chris Rock and Mike Birbiglia, and his material in bits like Black Wolverine are uproarious, profane, and truth-telling in the Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock tradition. There you go. Black, black, black. That makes me want to quit comedy. Kevin, Kevin, I got the first pitch for you, all right?

The first day at SNL. Yeah. Grandpa Buckwheat. Grandpa Buckwheat. No, no. I think he should be Gumby. Old Gumby. Old Grandpa Gumby.

That would be so good. That would be awesome. Yeah. Old Gumby. Very cool. Are you talking about the green fella? That's Gumby. That's right.

Oh, yeah. Can I be Pokey? Can I be your Pokey and then we'll be like making a statement? No. You're out, Jackie. I know. Come on. Jackie, you know.

That's not edgy enough, Jackie. Fuck, I'm edgy. I could be fucking edgy and endearing at the same time. You're all going to fucking see. Wow. Well, that's so exciting. Well, I do have an actual news story. It's about the heat.

Woo. Woo. It's hot out there. It's like edgy trend center Mike Perbiglia. Like Kevin Varney. He walks because he doesn't give a fuck. He's in with Ira Glass, y'all. Perbiglia and Ira Glass.

Like a black person. It's incredible how subtly racist the entire article is about Kevin. But you know it's written by white people who are just like, I think Black Lives Matter has a lot of good points. Do we have an author's name? I just want to hear how white the person's name is. Let me see the author's name. Leslie. Who wants to say it's Leslie? It could be a Leslie. Maybe a Karen.

Karen, maybe a Karen. Karen? Yes. Larry Carroll. Oh! It's perfect. BLM does make some good points. I do want to clarify. I've got to see if I can find...

Larry Carroll! He wears sweater vests throughout the whole year. He kind of looks like Mike Birkbeglia. Oh, it might actually just be Mike Birkbeglia. We don't know. Kevin, what would you do if you were cast on SNL? Would you no longer speak to any of us? I mean, I feel like yes.

No, man, SNL is, I wouldn't want to be on SNL at all. I say that so I have an out. I wouldn't want to be on it, man. Kevin, what characters would you do for your audition? Black Wolverine. Shink! Clank! Clank! Clank!

It's every time you stand somebody, you dance a little bit. No hip-hop in that shit, dude. That's what SNL needs. I think you got it. That's Bing. More rap music on SNL. Sign the petition on roundtable.com. Also in change.org.

Change.org. I mean, honestly, this podcast has been a catalyst for some of the greatest stars of the comedy times. I'm watching them all rise to the top. I'm sitting down here at the bottom of the mountain just being like, hey, guys, I'm so happy for you. Well, you know what? They're sending a ladder your way very soon, Holden. You think? Yeah, just don't burn it down again.

I'm trying. I'm a journalist now, apparently. I'm writing articles for Culture Sonar and shit. That's very true. Check out Holden's articles on the Dark Souls and bosses. The top 40 Dark Souls bosses of all time on Dorkly.com

and I've got an article for some reason about Tim Burton. I don't know why on CultureSonar.com. Right now I'm writing a little piece about the old, the 80s comedy boom and comparing it to the comedy boom of today. Got a hot quote from Michael Che today so I'm feeling pretty good about it. You just took it right from his Facebook page.

Right from his Facebook. I was literally like, I hit him up on Facebook and was like, hey, I could just straight up quote any number of posts on your Facebook page, but do you want to give me one? And then he gave me a really good one. That's great. Nice. I'm also a published author, but we don't have to go into that. What do you write? I wrote an article for Heat Street. I thought we

weren't going to go into it. We're not going into it! But now I can say things like I've always been saying. How dare we? How dare you? Things like that. Kind of fun. Is that your new phrase? Oh, I've never. Can you use the word knavery in conversation now as well? Yes. Sometimes I stick

my finger in my knavery and I smell it. Oh, it is close to what it might be. What is a knavery? Knavery? Oh, blatant knavery and I smell it. Oh, it is close to what it might be. What is a knavery? Knavery? Knavery is what we have here. Knavery is more of an adverb. I don't know what that is. A knave though, what is a knave?

A knave would be a medieval term for a dullard. A roustabout. A hooligan of sorts. A hooliganarian. Usually knaves were more a dishonest or unscrupulous man. Oh. A bit of a molester.

Naverarily. That's the answer. Not a child molester, just a molester of people's day-to-day lives. Everybody. Molesting everybody. Not limited. Molesting just means to... Woo!

It is hot in here. We got a hot take. We're going for a hot story. Yeah, let's get to a hot story. A hot story. You know what? Let's just go to in here. We got a hot take. We're going for a hot story. Let's get to a hot story. You know what? Let's just go to Marcus here. How hot is it? Oh, yes.

It's so hot that cockroaches are flying. Welcome to Florida, you pieces of shit. Yeah, I'm used to that. Used to it. DNA Info reports that the steamy conditions outside here in New York City could inspire the American cockroach in New York City and other parts of the tri-state area to take flight. Entomologist Ken Schumann said, in hot steam tunnels, something with the temperature and humidity encourages them to fly. When it's warm and steamy, that seems to be what they like. And was hot steam tunnels your nickname in high school?

Oh, yeah, man, still is. Any hole you can find, you can get into. Just like the cockroaches. That presupposes it's difficult to find the hole. That's what's upsetting to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because it's that steamy. You just, like, the dick just slips around my body until it slips inside of something. That's, you know?

Something. Yeah, yeah. Maybe a knavery. A bit of a knavery. I'm so into you right now. Leave her alone, J-Fod. I just want to get that slipper of damn. Just slip through the sweat.

I'm like a slip and slide right now. You lost the Cold War. Russia. What do you say, Russia? Well, hold on. We might have a second chance Saturday. You know what I mean? There you go.

If you look at what's going on in the world geopolitically. Wait, are we going up into space again? Get a man on Mars and you might come back. Well, all American cockroaches have wings and the ability to take flight, but don't typically do so unless they're in humid climates. It's a common sight in the Deep South where some call the flying roaches palmetto bugs. Palmetto bugs. Palmetto bugs.

First day I moved to Florida, used to live in Queens. I remember I saw this huge fucking cockroach in the shower. Went to go kill it. And then it flew at me and I had never seen that in my entire life. And I lost my fucking shit. I was like, no, it's fine. It's not real. It can't be real.

And ever since, I'm terrified of them because they can fly at any time. Right, but they don't. They can fly wherever the fuck they want. It's weird that they don't. I didn't even think that was, I thought they were just not when I didn't see them. They have to be provoked to fly. It has to be extreme circumstances. Well, here in New York City, they usually don't fly because they don't have to because of all the garbage.

But if it gets hot enough, they fly because they want to. They're just feeling it. If you want to fly, fly. Not when you're a cockroach because you should be fucking dead. I have so much boric acid in my house, I fucking throw it around like candy. Do you say boric acid? Boric acid?

Boric acid? Boric acid? You fucking murder those roaches. Boric acid. Boric acid. How fucking murder those roaches. Boric acid. Boric acid. Boric acid. Dude, how killer cockroaches, they have the ability to fly whenever they want, and they just don't even do it. Boric acid. Well, this is, I mean, it reminds me of what happens when you want to train to become a

marine or something like that. You have to get pushed to your breaking point to realize that you can fly. Yeah. I think it's kind of sad in a way, man, because it's just like they're out there. They know they can fly, but they feel like they don't deserve to. And they don't. They're like pigeons. Stay close to the ground.

Low self-esteem for an insect. Oh, I saw a black pigeon the other day. Whoa. You did, and you actually texted Henry and I about how you were looking at a black pigeon, and we just thought you were looking at a crow. No, it was a pigeon. It was not a crow. I know what a crow looks like.

I know exactly what a crow looks like. It was a pigeon. I know you know what a crow looks like. Do you know what a raven looks like? Wait, bird luger, you ever see a black pigeon before? Black pigeons I see all the time. No way. Everywhere. I refuse to believe. I've seen a bunch. I like the white pigeons, but just because they've got the brown spots

in them, they look like tiny cows. Yeah. I know. Why would they they look like tiny cows. Yeah. Why would they ever look like tiny cows? They look like little tiny cows. I could see it. And they're always just, you know, shoofing about. Oh, man, the morning doves are even going up high because it's too hot near the ground. When did you become a grandmother?

I kind of want to stop everything and let Jackie talk for the next 45 minutes because right now we've just got like. I've got heat fever. I know it. I'm not even drunk. It's just heat fever. Jackie, tell me about their shoofing.

How do they shoof around? Man, they've been shoofing and they've been koofing. But they go that koof, koof. And then this big green eyed dove. He's staring at me from my fire escape, asking me, pleading me to let it inside. I opened up the window. He didn't come inside. But I think there was something

wrong with him because he kept looking at me and he kept just going, and I'm smoking a cigarette and I'm blowing the cigarette in its face because I wanted to go away. Oh, I thought you were trying to get it a little lit. No, no. It started to scare me because I'm worried that, like, maybe this is something that's coming

after me. Sure. You know, like, owls when they come at, like, when you see an owl, it's like, oh, it's someone from a past life that's trying to contact you. What? And maybe this dove is just someone that's trying to come at me. And doves aren't supposed to be that high up. So every time an owl, I see an owl,

it's somebody from my past life. If they come to you. Okay. If they're trying to hurt you. I mean, tobacco is extremely addictive, so maybe you're just going to have him come, or whatever gender it is, and however this pigeon identifies. And whatever gender it identifies as, too, Ben. Thank you very much.

I mean, I think you're just going to make sure that it comes back to your stoop every evening. I mean, now you've got it hooked on smoke. It had beautiful green eyes. Where did it get those green eyes from? And then I started thinking about Harry Potter, but I'm not going to go down that road right now. Oh, man, I'm in Order of the Phoenix right now. I know you are, bitch. I'm trying not to pick at you.

They just got to Hogwarts. What's going on? You're just reading Harry Potter now? Yeah, I'm just enjoying it for the first time now. Wait, that's the first book, Order of the Phoenix? That's the fifth one. No, it's the fifth book. Yeah, yeah, I'm deep in now. I'm implicated. Yeah, I'm just enjoying it for the first time now. Wait, that's the first book? That's the fifth one. It's the fifth book. Yeah, yeah.

I'm deep in now. I'm implicated. Yeah, I read one of them, man. It was exciting. I don't know what happens. I just can't start. I think that's the best Barnett quote of all time. It was quite nice.

It was exciting. SNL. Saturday Night Live. Saturday Night Live. The guy who reads one of the Harry Potter. That's exactly what it is. It's going to be that same sentence. This is Chris Rock's Kevin Barnett that we have here in our studio.

Live on the Sunset Strip. Mike Birbiglia is interested. Delirious. In him. Oh, my. That's the thing. He gave him a thumbs up. He pointed at Kevin on the street one time and he gave him the thumbs up.

Interesting. Beautiful, man. Beautiful life. What's a couple lines of dialogue of Black Wolverine? Black Wolverine is like, hey, guys. That's all you get, man. Under wraps, yo. And he's the rest under wraps if I'm going to be this next SNL phenom, dude.

Lorne is crazy. Lorne is clearly listening be this next SNL phenom, dude. Lauren is crazy. Lauren is clearly listening to this episode, vetting Kevin's performances. And if he goes ahead and lets all the cats out of his bag now, when he goes to the final audition, he'll be like, saying it. He'll do what Lauren always says when he's seen it. He goes, saying it. And fucking, that's

it. You're blackballed. I thought it was good if he's seen it before. Then he's like, we'll do it again. Nope. It's saying it. Done with blackballed. I thought it was good if he's seen it before. Then he's like, we'll do it again. No, it's saying it. Done with it. Oh. Well, I wanted, if Lauren is listening, I did, I do have the ability to do one impression that I learned. And I learned it on Jackie's great show, Jackie and Molly and Marcus's great show, page seven.

It's Miss Cleo. And Kevin, she's Jamaican, so tell me how I did. Call me now. That's really good. Really good how I did. Call me now. He got really good at it. He got better. Kevin, recommend me during your meeting if you need, or maybe voice over if you want to do a Miss Cleo impression, because that would be kind of funny.

Do it one more time. Call me now. Because he can't do it. It would be blackface if he did it. No, it would be blackface if he did it. But there's something about the way you did it. It was kind of like a cross between a Korean woman and a half Haitian Jamaican.

So it was very confusing. But I think that would not be black face I don't think technically. That is true. Beige maybe. That's how I wrote it, yeah. And you don't do black face, you get a black puppet. Oh, yeah. It's not offensive as a puppet. That is just true. I think that might be

true. Can I ask you guys something? It's so much fun to do other ethnicities' voices in an offensive manner. If there was another ethnicity or another nationality that was doing my voice, Look at it, Jackie. if there was the sheer joy that they were getting from it, if it equals the joy that I get, I'd be okay with it. Have you ever seen a Japanese person make fun of a white person? It's the best.

It's got to be the best. It's so fun. Do an impression of it. Have you ever seen a Japanese person make fun of a white person? It's the best. It's gotta be the best. It's so fun. Amazing. Oh, cowboy. It's like, oh, cowboy, love. I love America. Eat a hamburger. I like that guy. Give me America. I love hot cheeseburger.

Yeah, it's great. I understand racism. It is. It's just so fun. It's the only fun that's what I'm saying. There's this picture I saw the other day and it's like this Chinese or Asian dude whatever he is and he's he's trying to like you know he's one of people volunteering in Africa and he's got all these little kids African kids around him you know he's just trying to help but they're all like doing this shit with their eyes it's fun it's me to do

an Indian accent be like oh hello there that's very fun to do something like that. It's fun for me to do an Indian accent. To be like, oh, hello there. That's very fun. Come on, give me more. Well, Marcus, I think it is beautiful the way that you are living your life doing the radio shows. I'm not even good at it. I love it. It's very positive. That's the main, you know.

Honestly, that could be the number one show in Russia. Yeah, you just do an Indian accent. Marcus, help me. I think it's beautiful what you're able to do with all of the podcasts. He's so positive. Thank you. I think it's very positive. Jackie, do an Indian guy. I'm not allowed to. We actually have to limit

Jackie a little bit because she doesn't say positive words when she does it. I'm allowed to pick and choose what I'm allowed to do and I cannot do it right now. We've had her sign a sheet of paper with a bunch of things she can't say or do. I bet Holden's free to do whatever fucking accent he wants. He's got freedom.

The Blarney Stone. No one cares about the Irish or Italian. Potatoes killed all me people. No one cares about an offensive Irish accent. That's good. Well, you were an O'Donnell. Yeah.

O'Donnell, yeah. I think McNeely. Jack, you could do Polish. I don't think I can do Polish. You live in a Polish neighborhood. No, because they're all just like, they're just gruff. They're just like, oh, you look at my woman, and then you are sexy too. You need to lose 50 pounds and then maybe

I'm going to put Tuk Tuk in your muck muck. And I'm like, sir, I'm not Polish. And he goes, oh, I really get better that way. It goes, see, that's the problem. It goes right into Asian. I feel like everything goes into Asian.

You can't do it. That was a great impression. It was really good. Thanks, guys. Henry's goes right into Jamaican. I go right into Asian. You can't do it. That was a great impression. It was really good. Thanks, guys. Henry's goes right into Jamaican. I go right into Asian. Henry always goes Jamaican. He starts off Scottish. She did grab her breasts throughout that whole thing. I don't know if it's just you guys know at home.

That's what they do, man. Yeah. That is what they do. Because they're constantly looking at my breasts because everyone in my neighborhood thinks I'm Polish. So men are always talking to me in Polish. Aren't you half Polish? I am half Polish.

Half Italian to Italian. But I look like a Polish woman. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You put the fettuccine in the off-road. Oh, my meat and balls are sweaty for yours. You little spaghetti bitch. All right, I'm aroused.

Spaghetti bitch. Very good. Yeah. Spaghetti bitch. Very good. Spaghetti bitch. It's so good. You can't open up the portal. That's the name of your book. Spaghetti bitch. I am a little spaghetti bitch. That's a good one. Spaghetti bitch walking

down the street right there. It's about a girl who travels to Italy for the summer and learns how to live and learns how to laugh. But it's not under the Tuscan sun. It's called spaghetti bitch. It's called spaghetti bitch. Do It's called Spaghetti Bitch. Do I have an Asian best friend as well? Yeah, of course. Do I have any tail? Of course.

And I'm just like banging and I'm banging and I'm banging. I'm like, oh, my life is falling apart. Becky Chow. Man. Becky Chow is going to be her name? I've got to find her, Marcus. Becky is great. Everybody loves her.

Your Polish kind of sounds like an animated crab, which I think is kind of... Thank you. Or maybe a lobster Sebastian is a crab Lobsters are fancier Lobsters are always snooty They always have monocles

So I do want to point out this entire conversation Stemmed from us discussing cockroaches And their ability to fly in heat And you know what? The reason why they fly more in heat Is because it makes their muscles stronger They're actually evolutionarily, their evolution has taken them into a place where heat is where they thrive. But they've been taking all these different places all around America because there's more garbage here.

And they love New York City garbage, even when it's cold. Come on down to New York City. And, of course, by garbage, we mean the local entertainment scene. Oh, my God. I've had enough. Brutal. So New York has the best garbage? New York has the best garbage by far.

Oh, yeah. We have great garbage. Ethnic garbage. You know what I was doing, Marcus? I'm saying any kind of scent you want, it's here. Yes. Man, we did see- We got all the smells.

We saw the scare. I think I'm going to go ahead and throw it down as the scariest homeless. I've never been so scared of someone on the street. He was really, clearly really drunk. No shirt. Just cargo shorts. No shoes. No socks.

Giant welt on his face. And he's just mumbling stuff. That was bleeding. And it was just, when you look at a dude and you know they're ready to take a swing, no matter what, and you're just like, cross the street, cross the street, cross the street. Because he's coming at you and you keep going, you gotta help me. You gotta help me. You gotta help me.

And his arm kept coming out at us. And did you come at him and say, don't come at me with that? Don't come at him with that. I didn't do it because I was worried. I was worried about the outcome. Very much. What if he just really needed help, you guys? Oh, he definitely needed help.

Yes. Because his shoes and a huge pile of blood were not far from him, along with a woman that was sitting, holding her knees and shaking on the ground really hard. So something was going down. You know what? Didn't want to deal with it. New York City. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.

Not my problem. Not my fucking problem. All right. So the cockroaches are flying. Let's move on to an old man story. Okay. Old man story. Jackie, you do an impression of an old man, don't you?

It depends on how much he's going to put his penis inside of my titties. Because when he's titty whacking, always he's slapping on his napkins. Oh, when I see those titties, I like to crumple them in the beer. Because when I crumple them in the beer, it's not good. It went Cosby.

It started with Cosby. It was Cosby from the beginning. It went in and out of Cosby. I put my old penis in. I was talking about titties. I don't think he titty fucked anybody. But I didn't mean to do a Cosby. I don't think

I've ever done an old man before. So thank you for widening my journey towards being a better actress. Yeah, not a problem. You definitely brought it into a place you never go to. All right. So, Marcus, let's do this story. All right. A 72-year-old Ohio man was arrested yesterday for allegedly slipping into the residence of a 60 year old one but a 61 year old woman and

ejaculating into a bottle of orange juice that he then shook up and returned to a refrigerator shelf. I called it. I called it. I'm just throwing it out there. Well, I mean, we all knew where it was going to go. I didn't know exactly where it was going to go. Yeah, really? None of us knew where that was going to go. I mean, I knew, but I didn't

come in the... Especially not orange juice, man. Those things, they don to go. Yeah, really, none of us knew where that was going to go. I mean, I knew, but I didn't think it would come in a drink. Especially not orange juice, man. Those things, they don't mix. Yeah. Yeah, the jizz sinks to the bottom, I think. Yeah, but it's so acidic that I feel like it would probably... Yeah, yeah, it's like soy milk. You know, you just got to shake it up, and then all the bits get into the other bits.

I like that Taylor Swift song. Shake it up. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Willis Jean Burdette has been charged with burglary and contaminating a substance for human consumption. According to court filings, the detail is conduct Wednesday afternoon in a home in Maceon, a city outside Canton, Ohio. As detailed in felony complaints, Burdette entered the victim's home at 12.10 p.m. Wednesday by using a key located inside of her shed. Upon gaining access to the residence,

Burdette, quote, began to masturbate inside a small tool room near the garage. As a home security camera recorded his actions, Burdette, quote, removed the bottle of orange juice from the refrigerator and come inside the bottle of orange juice, unquote. He then proceeded to shake the bottle before returning it to the refrigerator. The court filings do not reveal

whether Burdette knows the victim or if the tainted orange juice was consumed. Burdette lives about six miles from the woman's home. How old is this man? 61. No. 72. The woman was 61.

72. What's the jerk-off cut-off age? I thought that. I mean, that's what... When Marcus and I went through this story earlier, I was very... I thought that. I mean, that's what when Marcus and I went through this story earlier, I was very, I thought at some point, 50. Did you just stop ejaculating at some point?

I would say 60. Am I still going to have to be jerking off in my 70s? It never ends. It never ends? You really thought there was a cut off time? Yeah, but that's what we've been told. That's why Viagra, Cialis? Absolutely not, man. We don't have that menopause or nothing like that. We're still cum until the day we die.

How much cum could he possibly squeeze out? We completely, we keep making cum constantly. Women, they're temporary. They have a ceiling. We've got so much cum, it's just constantly there. I gotta hear that menopause joke. No, I want to give it to Kevin because he's edgy. Kevin, tell Lauren this.

Why is it menopause? It should be called a whim menopause. That was the joke. That's why I stopped everything. I'm sorry. You should open and close your audition with that. Maybe I'm Lauren Michaels. You're Kevin Barnett.

You're edgy. Do you have a joke? Well, you know, Lauren, I got a perfect joke for you. Yeah? And this joke is about to change comedy. So I'll start it off like this. Yes, I'm listening. Lauren, first of all, I'm very excited.

And I was thinking, you know, the other day, you know, I was thinking, by the way, this is also, yes, it is a Chris Rock impression I'm doing as I tell this bit. I like him. I was thinking about the term menopause, right? Menopause! They call it menopause. But man, we keep coming until the day we die. Just found that out from my friends. Maybe Chris Rock is your friend.

Chris Rock is one of those friends. And I have his approval. Good. Yes. I was thinking they should call it womenopause. He is a G! I am a God! And featuring Kevin Barnett.

Oh, my God. I can hear it. I can hear it right now. Then transition right into your Tracy Morgan day after the accident. Oh, that's not right, J-Pod. He's doing fine now. This is the problem, though, Kevin. The thing that you're not foreseeing is everywhere problem though, Kevin. The thing that you're not foreseeing is everywhere you go, every nightclub, every place you visit,

they're going to be screaming, give us Black Wolverine. Over and over. You won't be able to be like, I want to do new material. I want to give you guys something fresh. Nope. Anyone who fucking complains about an audience request for them to do something is an idiot. Always just do it. You never have to write anything again

Simplicity of black Wolverine because they won't even have to request it at the beginning of every set of this gonna go Yeah, he'll do his entire set with the adamantium claws Mm-hmm He'll do his entire set with the adamantium claws. I mean, if you're a performer and somebody constantly requests one song, they always get so upset about it. But that's the only song you have to do. Your job has now become easier. Just embrace it and be that person. That's what you need the money on.

Play the fucking song. I agree. I'll never understand. If the audience wants to hear the same damn joke, just tell the same damn joke. And then you know what you don't have to do. Write a new damn joke for that night. You're good. Yes, someone doesn't like to write new jokes.

I hate writing new jokes. I got one joke. If you're James Taylor, you got to play a song in Mexico every night for the rest of your life. Who cares? It's a luxury. Oh, God. If you're a plumber, you got to come to a... Hey, listen, man.

As a future of SNL, I can tell you that I love to write jokes. Writing jokes is just a part of life. Every day you're writing jokes. Sometimes your friend tells you a joke, that's you writing jokes. Man, he's endearing and edgy all at the same time. You've got to be like, fuck my mother at the end of that. I just got good justification for stealing jokes. You know what I mean?

Hey, if someone else wrote a joke, that's just them writing a joke for you. They just didn't know it. Exactly, man. Richard Pryor. Chris Pryor. Eddie Murphy. They just didn't know it. Exactly, man. Richard Pryor. Chris Pryor. Eddie Parker. In the tradition of. Wow.

At this point, there's no spermies in his jizzies, though, right? Totally. There's still sperm. A man could be 110 years old and still have sperm able to shoot into a woman.

But I wonder if it's more like liquids rather than chunky. Absolutely not. Or just coagulate? They just have little tiny canes and they're a little slower. Does he still have blood? He still has blood. If he still has blood flowing through his veins, he's still got semen

flowing through his vas deferens ready to jump out at you. Has it become dumber though? I don't know if sperm gets dumber. I know eggs get dumber or eggs get autistic, but sperm I think stays fine. That was a misogynist statement, Marcus.

I am upset. My eggs are just as smart as the day I shot out of my mother's fucking loins. I don't think you had eggs. Oh yeah, I had gobs of eggs. Yeah, they have a finite amount of eggs as soon as they're born. And they go away.

As a little baby, they go away. They're always there. Yeah, you got to freeze them once you get to a certain point. Otherwise, the older they get, the more autistic they get. Because you keep losing them. That's kind of weird to think about, right? You just have a finite number of eggs in there? I don't give a fuck.

You know what? Them spermies going to get up in them eggs? Good for them. And if they ain't, go for them. That's all I got to say. Because you know what? I'mies are going to get up in them eggs. Good for them. And if they ain't, go for them. That's all I got to say. Because you know what? I'm going to go buy something. I'm buying a dog rather than a child.

Oh, that's great. There you go. Isn't that kind of nice? It's really fun. The whole episode, I picture Jackie as the world's greatest grandmother that you leave your child with, and then they come back different. And you're kind of mad at you, but you also kind of thank you for taking care of all the heavy lifting when discussing the most important things of life.

I just remember I had a friend that always described your mother. She's like, every time I hear ice clink in a rocks glass, I think of my mother. And I was like, that's the kind of mom I want to be someday. That's what I want to be. That every time my kid hears, just like, clink, click, click, click. Oh, mom's home. My girl was like a little bartender back in the day. She would make all the drinks and stuff. She played bartender.

Marcus, what is the age of the oldest man who's ever impregnated a woman? I can figure that out. I did just read a story. I think there was some 78-year-old. I can't imagine they stay as fresh just read a story. I think there was some 78-year-old. I mean, but I really do imagine. I can't imagine they stay as fresh as when you're a younger boy.

Oh, yeah, the baby gets born looking like a little old man. Is that what happened with Benjamin Button? Shriveled up. It's a little Benjamin Button. The world's oldest father is Ramajit Raghav. Uh-oh. Oh, Ramajit Raghav. Ramajit Raghav.

That would be fucking old. And I think we actually have him with us. Oh, is he here in the room? Oh, Ramajit Raghav. Ramajit Raghav. That would be fucking old. And I think we actually have him with us. Oh, is he here in the room? Oh, yeah. Well, hello, Ramajit Raghav. Again? It's weird how he always says his name to start talking. This is not the offensive accent from the guest from before.

This is a different person. Listen, just because I'm old doesn't mean I don't like to get my dick wet. Good for you. And it doesn't mean my cum doesn't still come out all chunky and nice, just like other people's cum. Unfortunately for women, their dumb, dumb old eggs are no good, but I fuck young eggs. Fuck young eggs.

I mean, young eggs. Not that young. He was 96 years old. His wife, 52 years old. Look at this guy. He looks like Charles Manson. Wow. Yeah.

He does. Indian Charles Manson. Wow. He does Indian Charles Manson. And he was a bachelor for 90 years before he finally found the right woman to goosh into. From 60 years? But he impregnated a 52-year-old woman. That's amazing. How'd that baby come out? Her name was Shakuntala

Devi, and she's beautiful and wonderful. And I think we have Shakuntala Devi. I can't believe he gave me the eggs. He gave me the sperm. Shakuntala Devi and she's beautiful and wonderful and I think we have Middle name I gave the baby. I gave the baby middle name. Horse. Lambs. Lambs is the middle name I gave the baby. I just wanted someone else implicated in this. Oh. Not everybody. Well, it said that, what's his name?

Ramajet. He can make love like any 25-year-old man. He says, I do it three or four times a night. My neighbors are jealous, and they keep asking me for my secret, but I tell them it is all God's will. I flicks my bean for lunch. God's will. My name is Ramajat?

Ramajit. Ramajit. Ramajit. Very nice guy. Great person. And I think he's going to be a wonderful father. He's going to live until that child's at least five. I mean, it's a lot better than a lot of kids get, you know? Is 52 years old possible for a woman to give birth? Janet Jackson, pregnant at 49.

Yeah, but she used drugs. She used science. Good for her. Although maybe they use science as well. We don't know. I don't think they use science. No, they don't look like they had any science involved. I'll tell you what.

I fucking liked her when I was in high school. Janet Jackson? Absolutely. Everyone did. Oh, yeah, that's a real controversial statement. She grabbed her breasts in that video with Michael Jackson. Well, there was a t-shirt of the person grabbing her breasts from behind. My older brother was a hand-me-down.

Having gay older brothers gave me some very interesting hand-me-downs. That was one, and I got kicked out of school. That was a Rolling Stone cover. Yeah. That got you kicked out of school? Kicked out of Catholic school. I was in seventh grade going to St. Pete's. They did not think the image was something I should be wearing.

And to be fair, now that I think about it, it is a woman's chest being grabbed by hands and then my body wearing it. So that would probably lead to some interesting thoughts. Wait, you had it on a t-shirt? It was a t-shirt. That's the issue. That's inappropriate. Yeah, that was inappropriate. My older brothers used to send me a lot of different shirts down the old tube there that were quite better for a gay to wear than for a huge list of men. Where were your parents?

No, it was the hand-me-downs. Like an old-timey male thing where you put a pneumatic tube. Pneumatic tube. Yeah. Like the Banks. So how cool were you in seventh grade wearing that Janet Jackson t-shirt? Well, I mean, I thought I was pretty cool. I wasn't that cool, though.

I was in trouble. Our principal was Mr. Burns, and he was huge, and he was a monster, and he would always yell at me. I got wrongfully convicted of having a nude, of having a picture of a nude. This person, his name was Aaron, and he brought it to class, and he cut it out of a porno mag, and it was just a chick's tits. I don't even think the face was attached. It was just a tits. I hate that. He gave it to me in the closet room, in the coat room.

The teacher walked in. No, no, no, no. What were you doing in the coat room? We were just hanging out, man. Were you just hanging out? Because I feel like what happens in the coat room stays in the coat room. No, we were hanging out. There's BJs in the coat room.

There's sucking in the coat room. So then we were hanging out. There's BJs in the coat room. They're sucking in the coat room. So then Aaron was like, he brought that to school. I never looked at a Port Omega. I was reading Pinto's forums. There were no pictures. And then I got wrongfully accused. I got sent down to the principal's office, and I got into a lot of trouble because I wouldn't cry.

They wanted you to cry. They wanted me to break down and be like, I brought in this little picture of Tess. Did they ask you to cry, or do you just think that they wanted you? No, George W. Bush. No. Burns. His name was not George. George Burns.

His last name was Principal Burns, though. He told my mother Ben wasn't remorseful enough because he didn't cry. And I was like, I didn't do anything wrong. Ah, I see. So then I got three days in school suspension. You always cry. You should have tried to cry, man. I wasn't acting.

If you had started acting from back then, right now, you could have a shot at Saturday Night Live. They're always crying on that show. I would kick kids' heads and I would slam them against the locker. Slam them against the locker. Slam them against the locker. And then they would pull me and be like, you're gonna get suspended. I'm like, I just have had such a hard time.

You're manipulative and horrible. And then I didn't get suspended. Jackie, stop crying. That's the thing. What? Wow. I'm that good. I should have cried. That is amazing.

No, his name was not Aaron. It was Adrian, and I hated that kid until very recently. What happened to make you not hate him? He's not doing well. Oh, so now his life is shitty. Yeah, his life is just horrible. He's got a garbage life, huh? Garbage life.

Garbage life. Not like us. I wish your principal was George Burns. Yeah. Mr. Burns. It's kind of funny. Did he ever go like, excellent? No, no. It was not fun.

He was a terrible, mean man. Well, I've got a story here about New York City. It's another New York City story. It's about beating the heat, and it's about some thieves that are trying to beat the heat. Oh, how do thieves beat the heat? Oh, they steal ice cream. New York City billionaire John Katsimatidis

is offering a financial reward for information leading to the arrest of ice cream shoplifters. The grocery store tycoon and former mayoral candidate took to Twitter to offer a bounty of $5,000 for the stolen ice cream. He told the New York Post newspaper that thieves are stealing cartons of ice cream in order to resell them at bodegas.

Oh, I like this. Literally. It's kind of fun to feel edgy when you're buying ice cream at a bodega, you know? Yeah, I want to buy some black market ice cream from the bodega. who owns Gristiti's, tweeted that the bandits are wreaking havoc on New York City supermarkets and told the newspaper that the thefts are being encouraged by the bodegas. Jackie, how do you feel? Cool. Literally.

Come on, guys. I'm throwing out for a second time. It's ice cream. I just tried Chunky Monkey for the first time. You know what? My entire life, I said I refuse to try it Because I don't like banana flavorings But I'm down with a banana

And then I tried it good Christ I love it It is the actual banana I've been getting Froyo lately And I get the cake batter ice cream You're bad Are there sprinkles in it Or I'm sorry jimmies depends on where you're from I put the jimmies

We've talked about this it's a racist thing Sprinkles in it? Or I'm sorry, jimmies. It depends on where you're from. I put the... Jinnies. Jimmies. Jimmies. We've talked about this. It's a racist thing. Is there? No, I didn't mean to say it racist. No, I know.

Like the whole like... Is it actually racist? It's weird. I think we looked it up and I think calling ice cream sprinkles jimmies was some kind of weird racist thing. I found that in the sub. Everybody called it jimmies in Florida. Yeah, I thought they were sprinkles. Sprinkles.

They're just sprinkles. Yeah, I never heard of no Jimmy's. I knew I had a lot of friends called Jimmy's. I feel like one of the times I was on this show, Jimmy's came up. Really? I'm sorry. Maybe you were beating the heat. Were you trying to beat the heat?

Chocolate sprinkles is a racist term. Jimmy's are a racist term for chocolate sprinkles. Yep, Jimmy's is a Boston, New England word for chocolate sprinkles. Here's what it was. Jimmy's not like a black name? Okay. My friend told me after I had ordered Jimmy's on my ice cream that it was racist to say Jimmy's. She explained that because chocolate sprinkles are black, early Bostonian racists referred to them as Jimmy's because of the Jim Crow laws.

Oh. But do we still have to follow the rules of these old bigots? Can't we just call them that? Yeah, I think it's not racist anymore. Can we not be a Blanche subject? I think it is. Can we Blanche it? Actually, Kevin has to be the name. There's a bunch of weird old slurs that are just honestly

kind of fun. There's a bunch of them. Jimmies I've heard. You've been called a Jimmy? I've not been called a Jimmy. Well, he's not a Sprinkle. But I've heard it. Oh, I see. Why would he be called a Jimmy? That could be a good impersonation for SNL.

A Jimmy Sprinkle comes to life in the ice cream. Okay, I got it for you. I'm Lorne Michael. All right, you are a single Jimmy Sprinkle inside a vanilla ice cream. How do you feel about it? I like this. A single Jimmy Sprinkle inside of a vanilla ice cream. Yeah. I feel about it? I like this. A single Jimmy Sprinkle inside of a vanilla ice cream. Yeah.

I feel exactly how I feel every day. For example, in this moment right now. Damn. Does that feel like the watch you're on? He's like Chris Rock and Biglia likes that. Okay, that was great. Now give me your impression of the oldest man from India who just, who has impregnated a 52-year-old woman. Oldest man in India just impregnated a 52-year-old woman.

Oldest man from India just impregnated a 52-year-old woman. That guy we were just talking about before. Yeah, yeah. Rat, rat, mat, whiff. Do that accent. Whatever his name is. Okay. He's, hello.

I'm very excited. Oh, that's very good. Oh, he went in that direction. Wow. That's clever. That's very good. That's India. That's imperialism. Wow. That's very good. That's clever. That's really clever. He took the British colonized India.

Yeah. And he's also making a statement about colonization and all that stuff. You are so far beyond all of us, Arnon. He has to be on SNL. I'm the king, son. So edgy. Uh-oh, Cyndi Lauper's in the room. What does she have to say about it? king, son. So edgy. Uh-oh, Cyndi Lauper's in the room. What does she have to say about it?

Oh, hey. I don't know Cyndi Lauper at all. That's a good one, though. I am a bad shadow. I fuck men. She's mean. She's mean, right? I don't know.

Does she sing We Belong? That's Pat Benatar. What does she sing? Oh, is this burning? No, it's... What's the other one? She always grabs her breath when she sings. She sings the Goonies song.

Hit me with... Oh, yeah. I don't know that song. No, wait. No, that girl's just... God's body. God's body. Go ahead and throw it out there, Jackie.

That whole song. Any female comic that wants to get on SNL has a solid lopper. Because they know Laura likes to sing. I don't think that's very true. So four years deep of auditioning for SNL, what I didn't realize is that I used to have to stop auditioning with Kim Jong-un. And I need to start auditioning with Sidney Lauper. Time after time. Don't talk about it.

Time after time. Give me time after time. If you get in my stitch, I will forget you. Time after beanie. When you put your beanie in my mouth right now. I don't give a fuck. Jackie, can I just ask you, does Mike Birbiglia like you? He has doughed all over my cinnamon roll.

He's a merry fan. Congratulations. I didn't even ask for it. I begged for it. I think you're just about right. It's heat madness. I can't. I can't. I keep lobbing questions over to you because I just

want to hear more insanity. Speaking of heat madness, it's time for a segment from Walt McNeely. We've never done this one before. How do you beat the heat? It's too hot. It's too hot. You got to beat the heat. I'm going to start it off right now.

I'm going to build an ice sculpture of my beautiful woman, Lexi, and I'm going to hug her all day. Not the actual woman because she's warm. The ice sculpture version of her because that one's cold. Okay. I'm going to hug her all day. Not the actual woman because she's warm. The ice sculpture version of her because that one's cold. Okay. I'm done. I'm so glad to be done with this segment. I'm about to pass it on to Kevin.

I just want to say thank you to all my fans. Kevin? Okay. That was surprisingly beautiful, man. That was a beautiful statement. I say what I would do is throw a barbecue. And at this barbecue, I put myself in the barbecue pit and burn myself till I'm ashes. Then no more heat. It's fine.

Wicker man. Wicker man. That's exciting. Nice, dude. It's going in the opposite direction. I mean, it's a pretty edgy answer, you know. Oh, my God. But it's not endearing.

So I don't really understand what's endearing. Everybody gets to eat food at the barbecue. How is that not endearing? No one gets to eat it because he said he's burning himself to ashes. But at the end of the barbecue, man, after everybody is satiated, that's the final part of the barbecue, man. That's the show. He's not a weirdo about it.

Yeah, who doesn't want to go to a barbecue and see an international comedy sensation go up in flames? God, Chris Rock, Richard Pryor, they would be crying. Eddie Murphy too. Eddie Murphy too. Eddie Murphy. No sex in the champagne room. I've heard it before and I will hear it again

by Kevin Murphy. And that's the thing, Eddie Murphy he used to have all those great bits about barbecues. Remember the Goonie Goo Goo? I got your ass creamed. Kevin, do one of those. I already do

them and I live it every day. He's that good. I always say, more booze, less food. Blow up the sun. That's how you beat the heat. There you go. No more sun, no more heat. I like it. Although actually it might get hot without the sun still. That's true. If you blow. No more sun, no more heat. I like it. Although, actually, it might get hot without the sun still. That's true.

If you blow it up. Or does it get freezing? If you blow up the sun, then we'll probably all die a heat death from the ensuing shockwave, the ensuing heatwave. Then otherwise the planet will slowly become a cold ball. You know what I'm going to do? Ice packs for the sun.

Put ice packs on the sun. I get it. J-Fa, do you only drink vodka? No. I like beer and other stuff. What would you do to beat the heat? Me? Okay, I'm...

You're bad, by the way. I'm fucking bad, dude. You're so bad. I'm going to beat the fucking heat. This is what I'm going to do. I'm going to get a bucket of ice water, right? Really fucking cold. Like ice in the water, you know?

And then I'm gonna give myself a big old dirty erection. Big old dirty erection. And I'm gonna stick my dick in the ice water, but strap myself to it so I can't take it out until my dick gets frostburn and falls off. And then I'm gonna beat the heat.

Alright, very good I mean I don't mean to say something as sexual as J-Fa just said but you know what I have to I uh I'm not gonna say this is something that I've used in my everyday life but I will say I know about it so you get those ice

packs that you put on the neck you put it around the neck of the person that you are currently having sex with or someone that you just find on the street, whatever you want. You do ice titties. You have an ice titty mountain. You put all the ice to the top of your titties. That immediately cools the titties

off and as the man has the ice on his, like the back, or woman or whatever has the ice on the back of their neck and as they like kiss down you and as they go down on you the ice melts down into like and it becomes

cool all over so they are cool and you are cool and everybody orgasms and everything is great we're beating the heat with Jackie and by the way I was about to say that was not Sherry O'Terry that was Jackie Zabrowski That was Jackie Zabrowski. That is Jackie Zabrowski.

Unbelievable. I mean, ZipZop.com can write me up as I could be a Molly Shannon. I could be an Ellen DeGeneres. Who knows? But she has a little bit of smile. She's got just enough of a dyke haircut. And I think that she's going to make it. Do the Catholic school girl.

Me likey. Is that what she says? I think that she's going to make it. Do the Catholic school girl. Me likey. Is that what she says? I think so. You can read more about Kevin Barnett on Zap2It.com. That's Zap, the number two, it.com. Zap2It. That's great. J-Faul, everybody knows who we are, but tell them who you are.

I'm John F. O'Donnell, man. I'm a good guy, you know. But where do they find you? Okay, well, I'm on a show called Redacted Tonight. You just check it out, youtube.com slash redactedtonight on Twitter at therealj5. I feel like I haven't said enough on here on the Instagram. I'm at jackthatworm, and I got to get those followers. This is my new thing.

I got to get those followers. I need the followers on Twitter. Follow me on jackthatworm on Instagram. Jack the worm Twitter is over I don't wanna do it But they told me I have to do it

I can't wait Till it's over I can't wait Till it's fucking over They told me I have to do the Instagram At Holdnators I'm also on

Fucking Holden MCN On Instagram Who gives a shit though I post pictures Of my fucking I actually got 150 likes on me Holding a copy

Of No Man's Sky Cool So that was Pretty big day for me That's huge That was huge 150 likes is pretty big. That's a lot. I'm happy for you, man. Yeah, thank you.

And on Twitter, I've got, I only have like a little bit of followers, but they love me on there, and it's at Holdenators. And on Twitch, you can watch me play video games. Oh, you're at Holdenators? Yes. I just friended the wrong one. I followed the wrong one. Yes. Well, I might also be at Holden underscore McNeely. We don't know. Oh, I

see. And, and... Social media game. I'm on Twitch. Yeah, I have a be at Holden underscore McNeely. We don't know. Oh, I see. Holden's social media game. I'm on Twitch. Yeah, I have a few. And JuliaJohn69 is also me. So there you go. Or might not be me. I don't know.

You're not doing enough and you're doing too much all at the same time. And on Twitch, I am HoldenNatorsHo. Come watch my girlfriend play. Really close to beating Final Fantasy VII. Like, very, very close. Like, probably in the next couple hell. Come watch my girlfriend play. Really close to beating Final Fantasy VII. Very, very close. Probably in the next couple episodes. We will beat that game, which is bonkers. Put about 60 hours into it. That's really exciting.

Okay, we'll talk to you soon. Peace. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to cavecomedyradio.com.