The Roundtable of Gentlemen - Episode 298: Pac Man Porn

Episode Date: September 6, 2016

Mike Recine joins the gang to discuss the orgy that is Burning Man, animal attacks, and favorite Adam Sandler movies

The round table. Gentlemen, let's broaden our minds. Ladies and gentlemen, a little more watch. Fire at will. It's time for action, gentlemen. Gentlemen, what's the topic of discussion? Civility, gentlemen. Always civility.

Civility. Marcus, we have to start this show, but who's praying? Holden. Holden, you have to pray. You can't. You literally have to get into show mode. I know you're stoned right now because you're a drug addict, but get into show mode.

Okay. Everybody, turn off your eyes, put your heads heads down and let's have a guided meditation okay everybody um you are me sitting on the couch earlier today chilling about to play some overwatch you're like i don't want to get high too high but i want to feel a little buzz right so you take one hit of weed and then you go on a run, and that is weird. I'm sorry, Ben. Living your life like American Beauty.

Yeah, living your life like American Beauty. I call them Nate runs, like from Six Feet Under. Oh, yeah? Because he was always smoking weed and going on runs. That's just fun as shit. This isn't Debrere.

Anyways, you fucking lift up, like turn into a little cherub baby, and you're going to make some people fall in love after that because you're fucking baked. And you shoot an arrow when the black man's looking at the white girl. And you shoot an arrow in the black man, and they fall in love. What the fuck? Shouldn't you shoot two arrows just to make sure everything works out? Yeah, right?

Yeah, you want to shoot two arrows. Mutual love. Ooh, white cop woman. Yeah, that's even better. Shoot an arrow in the white cop woman while she's talking, trying to arrest the black man and make him fall in love. Jeff Ross Rose Cops, September 10th. There you go. Now open your eyes.

It's time to join us to the round table of gentlemen, everybody. All right, welcome to the round table. That was the worst prayer we've ever had. No, I've done worse. No, no, you've actually- I've so done worse. You usually do well with them. I think the last guided meditation I did was definitely worse.

Oh, I don't think so. Yeah, so he's on a bad streak. I literally, I apologize once this time. I apologize like four times during the last one. All right, very good. Well, this is the round table. Everyone is around the table. Jackie is here.

I don't like Cupid. I think it's dumb. And I think it's scary. Why? Because that's not what love is about. Because it's a fun little baby? No, it's a baby shooting arrows. Yeah.

And the baby knows how to shoot the arrows. He's a love archer. Yeah, and then he gets to choose who. I thought he was a fat man. No. No. Cupid, Cupid is a child. It's a fat baby, Eddie.

Children shouldn't have this kind of responsibility. This is what I'm saying. No, it's a celestial being. It lives forever. It doesn't have the mind of a child. Mommy, I want Daddy to come home again. Daddy can't come home again. The baby shoots you with the arrow you fall in love.

If you want to break the curse, you kiss the baby. What the fuck are you idiots talking about? With the tongue. You suck on their tongue like in Face Off. Yeah. Face Off totally holds up. Think about it. Ahmed Larson being big and strong and fat in the middle.

Just like Cupid. Man, woo. Man, I've been shooting out some poo-poos. Ooh, like arrows, just like Cupid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not everything is like Cupid. I'm like doopid. Doopid.

Doopid. You get it? Thank God that we have a guest. Poo-poopid. No, poo-poopid. Come on. Poo-poopid's better. Poo-poopid?

Poo-poopid. Sounds like a Russian dictator. All right. The next guy here, we have him. Kevin Barnin's better. Poopin? Poopin. Sounds like a Russian dictator. All right. The next guy here, we have him. Kevin Barnett's not here, so he's filling in for him. Mike Racine. Do you guys remember that time a couple years ago when I stuck my penis in the window while you were doing the show?

Yeah. Yeah. That's right. That's right. That's the only time that has ever happened to us. Yeah. Yeah. It was a perfectly sized hog.

Hey, thanks. You're very privileged down there. Have you been using it recently? Yeah, here and there. Oh, you're such a dog, Mike. He's a dog. He's a dog. Mike was saying, but you do have a-

You usually have a paperweight. Yeah. So my notes don't blow away. We're going to Starbucks. She could actually do that. You can do that. I use it to hammer nails. Yeah. Yeah, my notes don't blow away I use it to hammer nails. Yeah, look at you. I fucking hate nails man. Yeah, fuck them I put a little Knights helmet on mine pretend. It's like in a medieval times I haven't watched a show on HGTV in a very long time But if it was called Mike Racine hammers nails with his cock, I would tune in. With his hog. With his hog.

Hog hammering. Right at your house, Hunter. House hunters and then hog hammering. Big old dog. Well, good for you, Mike. And now you also, are you one of these half hour people? Yeah, October 7th it comes out, Comedy Central.

Oh, congrats. Awesome. So Mike Racine did a half hour. Everything that this show touches turns to a Comedy Central half hour. Turns to gold. You can watch my bad posture. Oh, man. Did you just only look at that when you

watched it? Yeah. Did they edit out a lot of your bits? Some lady gave me a thumbs down after one of my bits. Did they show her on the special? I don't know, but my mom saw it. She was sitting a couple rows behind her. They always do those tattoos of people laughing. I would love to see someone just.

Thumbs down. Wait a second. Your mother was a couple rows behind her. Why was she in the front row? I don't know. I don't want her in the front row. Yeah. The front row is so weird.

That'd be weird. Yeah, it'd be weird. I don't want to see her diddling herself in the front row. Yeah. I love it. That's what she's going to do. That's what she's prone to do. I wouldn't want my mom in the front row because she passed away.

She is technically in the front row. She's in every row. By the way, we did lose an episode. And I do have to apologize to the listeners of the show. We've been off for two weeks. But the one episode that was lost. You don't want to see a fat corpse. Well, she wasn't that fat.

She couldn't eat a lot of sugar because of the diabetes. But the one episode that was lost, my God, wasn't that fun, Marcus. I was Eddie's mother from heaven. Hey, Eddie, I'm doing great up here, Eddie. Count Halcyon, which is, I think, my greatest thing I've ever said. Yes, you had a great. So the lost episode of Roundtable, which will never be heard because it just didn't record properly, is probably the greatest episode that's ever lived.

Probably. And it died. You guys said that the last time we had an episode malfunction about five years ago. So yeah. And it's always seems like Ben looks straight at me when he says that. I did not even look straight at you. It really is probably the

best episode we ever recorded. No, that's not even true. I didn't do that to you, Marcus. It's just a little trick. In horror movies, it's always better to not see the monster. just a little trick. In horror movies, it's always better to not see the monster. It's always scarier. In podcasts,

it's always better to not hear the podcast. It's always funnier. Maybe it was Eddie's mother's ghost interfering with the... I think that it was. We'll find out if this one gets released.

Yeah, true, because he did the ghost again. I'm doing great up here, Eddie. Jesus, that's a huge hog. It's the size of a scene. Hog hammering. Well, I'm glad she's getting laid again. She's doing great. It's the size of a scene. Hog hammering. Well, I'm glad she's getting laid again. She's doing great.

It's always very reasonable during these times. Hognators, ho! My brother's calling me. I guess I'll talk to him later. Hispanic says to the CCR crew, keep your grind on. Tell Big Ben, move down the bench. And Eggroll says, I don't know. Isn't that like a callback to something you said before? Move down the bench? Yeah, I think he said you'd know what it meant. I never said move down the bench. And Eggroll says, I don't know. Isn't that like a callback to something you said before?

Move down the bench? Yeah, I think he said you'd know what it meant. I never said move down. That's never been a tagline. I was on the end of the bench when I was an athlete in high school. Hey, and you never went, hey, everybody, if you want the bench to not tilt or whatever, move down the bench.

Is that an Austin Powers reference? Ooh, is it? He's so horny. Mini mean, move down the bend. I don't know. Well, thank you so much, Hispanic. And Eggroll says, give Ben a ho for me. Ho.

Why are they towards me all the time? I don't know. They like you. They like you. They think you're great. Oh, that's nice. I like you, Holden. You should come play Pac-Man with us.

I will. Whenever you want me to do it. I can't wait. There you go. All right. Pac-Man? There's a new one coming out. We could all play together. They're putting a new one out. Why the. There you go. Pac-Man? There's a new one coming out. We can all play together.

They're putting a new one out. Why the fuck is there a new Pac-Man? Because it's an enduring classic, Ed. It's the godfather of video games. It's not going to be just like the old Pac-Man, right? It'll be three dimensions and stuff like that. They're going to add some new modes. Pac-Man will be like a floating dick and balls. Does he have legs? Yeah, he'll have

little legs sometimes and stuff like that. He'll say like, oh, don't get fucked, dude, or some fun little taglines like that. And like the ghosts will all be pussies. Ghosts will all be pussies if you want. You can totally mod the game to make the ghost pussies and Pac-Man a penis if you are really horny that night. I want Pac-Man to be a pussy and the ghost to be penises and then the pussy eats all the penises. You can do. You're going to have to wait at least five years for a new pack to come out. A new Pac-Man

pack. Alright. Marcus, what are you staring at? I was looking at Pac-Man.com. How's it working? It's fine. It's a bunch of Pac-Man. Now you seem to be distracted. Is there Pac-Man porn? Like Pac-Man fucking straws? You best believe it. Let's see here. Pac-Man porn. Let's go

here. That's some Jessica Rabbit porn. I just saw the family guy porn things coming up. Do you guys see that all the time? Oh, yeah, that's just always on there. It's not real. I don't know who's jerking off to it. Mike, did you yell at the woman who gave you a thumbs down?

No, I should have addressed it or something, but I didn't. It was just very weird, you know, for TV taping. Well, who did you do the special with? Because these half hours, there's always two performers. Yeah, Drew Michael was after me. Oh, Drew Michael. Maybe it was Drew Michael. Maybe it was him in a lady costume. Yeah, it could have been. Did you throw me off?

Yeah, maybe. He would do something like that, that sneaky Jew. Alright, well, you never know why he gets away with what he does. Marcus, what is that? There it is. Pac-Man.

Oh, my goodness. Pac-Man is spitting pellets. Ms. Pac-Man is squirting pellets in Pac-Man's mouth. I see. Oh, she's shooting the pellets. I don't see it like that. I see it as Pac-Man eating the pellets on the way to her gaping asshole. I thought you were spitting, but I think Marcus has the right answer.

In Ms. Pac-Man's defense, her pussy is also gaping asshole. I thought he was spitting, but I think Marcus has the right answer. In Ms. Pac-Man's defense, her pussy is also gaping. Yeah, both gaping, and she is gaping both on her own. She looks really sad, but I like that her nipples are so pert. She does look sad. She definitely looks like, yeah, this was kind of the last.

She looks sleepy. Well, I think she's sad because she's not Mrs. Pac-Man. He never married her. What's the one with the girl, the real Pac-Man? Oh, that's some stupid video. Why didn't Pac-Man marry Ms. Pac-Man? And then this whole thing could be done with. Maybe it's his sister. Oh, that's a good point.

Let's have the plot twist. And why is he fucking her so hard? I don't think we should watch any more of this. No, I like it. The ghost is licking the Ms. Pac-Man. Well, now we're just listening to you looking at porn. I bet Q-Bert fucks like a beast. Q-Bert? Q-Bert. Who fucks harder? Q-Bert.

Q-Bert or Pac-Man? I don't know who that is. Q-Bert. He's got that nose. And he's a hopper. Sonic. Sonic the Hedgehog's quick, but it's not last long. Yeah, it's in and out. All right, this isn't Wizard and the Bloozer or the Bruiser. Oh, goodies. Yes.

Coming out in a week or soon. Wizard and the Bruiser. Check it out. All right, Marcus. You should know when your show comes out. It's next Thursday. Yeah. In a week or soon.

In a week or soon. Holden, how are you so stoned? I took one rip. It must have or soon. In a week or soon. Well, then how are you so stoned? I took one rip. It must have just been something heavy in there or something. I think maybe you just got dum-dum brain. Yeah, maybe. Maybe I smoke a rip and then I forgot what happened next and I smoked some more. I agree.

Well, thanks for coming. Marcus, what are the stories? You are such a snippert. I'm not a snippert. You're a real snippert. I'm not being a snippert. That was a bit of a snippert. I'm not a snippert. You're a real snippert. I'm not being a snippert. That was a bit of a snippert. That was not a snippert.

He's got to have the last word. No, I'm trying to go to Marcus for a new story. Thanks for sticking up for me, Jackie. You're welcome. She's sticking up for you. There's a lot of bullies in this world. I know. And they're all coming after somebody.

And right now, I feel like I'm in the schoolyard right now. And I'm playing with my pogs. and it's fucking 1999 all over again. Yeah, and I just shielded over you over the sun. And you got scared for a second, but then you didn't realize that I was just shielding you from the anonymous big scary monster. Wait a minute. You were still playing with pogs in 1999? We were like 16. Oh, yeah.

I know I can get all the good ones then. You stole them. Yeah, you just go to the garbage cans at every kid's house. You get all the good ones. I had an OJ slammer. You guys have an OJ slammer? No. I thought he was just in the slammer.

Right, guys? That's why it was... Right, guys? Kato Kaelin slammer. Oh, you didn't actually have an OJ slammer. It was a joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Slammer for the pogs.

Yeah, OJ on it. I thought pogs came out after he killed that lady, though. They did. They did. That's why it was super. They had his mugshot on it. They had a lot of pop culture ones. The slammers, like you had all the pogs, they were all really thin and flaky.

What the fuck is a pog? And then you take a slammer. It's a circle piece of cardboard that we used to gamble with as a child. Yeah. But the slammer was heavier, so you slam down on all the pogs and whatever ones flip off, you get. You got to keep. Oh. That's the thing.

I never played that. You wanted a big, fat metal. Yeah, you're too old. You're too old, Ben. I'm the exact same age as all of you. You're too old. Not me. I'm young.

It seems like a juvenile casino. You were young when we started this show, but now you're old too, Jack. Oh, my God. Am I older than everybody else now? Yes, you've aged dramatically. You're older than all of us. It's been like the presidency. You're about 50 years old. I gotta stop eating all those snack wells.

I love snack wells. Marcus, do you want to do a news story? Yeah, let's go to Burning Man. Let's do it. Our friend Dave is there right now. He sent me pictures. My girlfriend's there. She went off to drug orgy in the desert. Yeah, I bet she's having a great time without you there.

I bet she's having a great fucking time. Let's get to the story, and then Holden, I want you to tell Ed what you think his girlfriend is doing at Burning Man. Let's get to the story first. Hey, buddy, a lot of people's girlfriends are there. Yeah, I bet. All banging yours. As long as it's ladies. That doesn't count, right?

No, it still counts. We've got to get to a story. One tall red-headed woman was seen topless in a burning van. Fucking strangers saying, who's next? No one's last. I don't miss my boyfriend at all. The endless line. All right, well, what a lucky gal she is

to be with you. That's good. Well, if you can't find the end, there is no last. All right, Marcus, what's the news story? One of Burning Man's luxury camps was ransacked by vandals on Wednesday night.

The White Ocean Camp hosts dozens of free techno music concerts at its stage on the outskirts of the Playa while also providing lodging and food for its star-studded lineup of DJs sometime during or after the group's famous White Party where ravers dress in all white. So you can't see the cum.

You can't. They all dress in white and they have a white party. They have a white party? They call it a white party where they all dress in white. They wear white. They don't have to be white. They wear white sheets. Sounds like the KKK rally. They're burning a man not a crossbow.

It does sound a little like KKK. But the thing is, the point of the party is they all wear white and you can't see the cum and at the end of the party they turn on a black light and whoever has the most cum wins the party. Is that right? Yes. Well, we should go next year.

It is so drug-fueled out there and it is such a filthy fun orgy out there. There's cum. They literally have to like dry off the cum for the next few days. They have to dry the cum like off the desert? That's why they do it in the desert to help soak up all the steam. Here it gets the desert. Bunch of happy snails. Otherwise, if they did it in

a normal place, everyone would be ankle deep in fucking pee juice. Oh my goodness. The pee stands for pussy. I thought it was piss. I thought it was piss. That's why I had to explain. Had to clarify. Always one to be right, Ed.

Ankle deep they are. That's good. Sometime during or after the group's famous white party where ravers dress all in white, vandals entered the camp. They allegedly pulled and cut electric lines, causing food to spoil, stole personal belongings, glued trailer doors shut, and flooded the camp with 200 gallons of water. I love it. So it was a bunch of wealthy aristocrats.

Well, they are wasting water and that's not a good thing to do in the desert. But theoretically they're out there because they were trying to take down the 1%. These were the 99% of Burning Man this year. Well, yeah. Apparently this is part of the luxury camps that are happening at Burning Man more and more where it's just super

rich people going out. That's not what it's about. It's not what it's about. It is about peace and kindness, I tell you that much. And they're fucking being doo-doo heads. I know the founder of Burning Man actually came out in favor of like, he's like, there's no equality here. It's Burning Man. You do whatever you want to do.

So it doesn't necessarily lend itself to equality per se, specifically in an economic sense. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, there's people building all those weird ass flying machines and helicopters and all that shit. They got to be rich to have that stuff. Rich as fuck. And big, rich tits.

Big, fake tits that are out. Sorry, Mike. Well, I was just going to... Can we admit nowadays it's hard to feel bad for poor people? Yeah. I'm kind of done giving a shit about them. I think you're singing Ben Kissel's tune right now. No, that's not true.

I love poor people. I want to give them a job. I'm all about giving them jobs. Yeah, but once you give them the jobissel's tune right now. No, that's not true. I love poor people. I want to give them a job. I'm all about giving them jobs. Yeah, but once you give them the job, they don't show up. They come to work drunk. They come up with excuses. I mean, it's a mental illness. Being poor?

It's a mental illness? Yes. I don't know, Mike. If you would have said that stuff on Red Eye when you were on Fox News, we would have had you back. I would have had you back. You didn't talk at all. We were like, who is this peasant?

We didn't know you weren't one of us. That's the thing. Yeah, if we just get, so you're saying get mental health professionals. Yeah, don't go vandalize

someone's nice trailer. Yeah. They might have worked hard for that. Yeah. No, it's not a trailer trailer. It's a fancy trailer. Well, they were one

of the trailers. Yeah, well, I mean, it was a big tent trailer type thing. This is a picture of the place. It's a beautiful place. It's the Trump Casino of Burning Man. It's very fancy. The Facebook group, the people, the White Ocean Camp, they have their own Facebook

page. They wrote, we have felt like we've been sabotaged from every angle but last night's chain of events while we were all out enjoying our beautiful home was an absolute and definitive confirmation that some feel we are not deserving of Burning Man. I take it back. I should have been gang raped. I'm not against it. It is like they call themselves the White Ocean Camp. Theoretically, these guys just gave them what they wanted.

I feel like Burning Man was like inspired by the Gulf War, the first one, the desert storm. Just lighting fires in the desert, partying and shit, having a good time, doing drugs. Pretty much, yeah. Getting hallucinogens, you know? Now Burning Man is just, it turned 30 years old though. Burning Man's been around for a long time.

Yeah, it's 30 years old. It couldn't even attend itself anymore. I was going to say that. Fun joke. Can't even attend Burning Man. It's Burning Man's been around for a long time. Yeah, it's 30 years old. It couldn't even attend itself anymore. I was going to say that. That's a fun joke. Can't even attend Burning Man. It's Burning Man, though. Just have a funny joke. Just miles have come.

Yeah. He really bombed on a red island. Didn't you say White Ocean before? What's that? Didn't you say something about a White Ocean? They call themselves the White Ocean Group. Yeah, White Ocean was founded in 2013 by a DJ named Paul Oakenfold. That guy fucking sucks. He does suck. Oh, does he a DJ named Paul Oakenfold. That guy fucking sucks.

He does suck. Yeah, Paul Oakenfold's the fucking worst. Horrible music. Yeah, the worst music. Why is he famous? If he listens to this, stop. Yeah, there's a lot of people. There's a lot of famous people that are terrible.

Oh, yeah? Oakenfold's one of them. He started it. Yeah. Tara Reid, she's bloated from drink. Oh, I think Tara Reid is wonderful, and what the media did to her is terrible. What'd they do to her? They took down a drug addict

just because she went to an award show with her titty out. Sometimes you do a bunch of quaaludes and you go and have a good time, and your nipple is out, and then the doctor botched the surgery. It's really unfortunate. I'll tell you what, when I was in high school, I definitely wanted to grip her bean.

God damn it. Well, I don't. What's a bean? Cops are going to come in here if you keep talking like that. Grit. You say that in high school. When I was in high school, she would have been molesting me. Well, how do you grip a bean?

You just get a good hold on it. I'm assuming she's got a big bean. I'm assuming her nickname when she was in high school was the Big Mean Bean Machine. You've got to grip it down. No, you vice grip it. Oh, is that right? Yeah, vice. Great news site.

You put it in between two knuckles. Yeah, totally. Cutting edge. He's talking about a clitoris. Oh, God. Oh, okay. Yeah. And you should never say cutting edge when you're talking about a clitoris.

The hood and the beam. Yeah, please. Definitely if you get sliced up by it. Jackie, how's your squirty bird? How's my squirty bird doing? Oh, man, pert and ready to go constantly. Did you ever see Antichrist? No. When she scissors the beans?

Yeah, but that's not, I mean, I don't think that's like a movie thing. I think it's like a general mutilation thing. It's like a big problem in other places. It's tough to watch. Not here in America, though. Sure, it happens. It happens to men every single day. Circumcision.

Yeah, cut it off the tip. Yeah, you all can't clean it anyway, so what does it matter? Cut off the skin. I'm definitely happy mine's gone. Yeah, I'm very pleased mine's gone. Yeah, I would not clean it well. Isn't there a thing in the Hasidic community where rabbis have to put their mouth on it?

They bite it off. They bite it off. And a rabbi gave a baby herpes. A bunch of them did. Yeah, and they died. The babies died. Oh, boy. Yeah, because babies can't handle herpes.

Well, I'll tell you who can't handle herpes. This guy right over here. He's got two thumbs in their face and right at himself. Wow, that's sort of like when Bill, is that the catchphrase for your comedy central half hour? Like Bill Engel is like, here's my sign, like, guess you could handle herpes. What a guy. I don't die like some pussy-ass baby.

Yes. Unfortunate for those kids, no one has to have their genitals gnawed at by a Hasidic priest. He's got his own beard hairs. Do they bite the thing clean off? No, what they do is they cut it and then they make the incision

and then they suck the blood out. They're not biting it off. They're sucking the blood out. But why? Because it's very hot. They didn't have any scissors like 3,000 years ago. They won't eat fucking crabs, but they'll do this. They found a passage in the

Old Testament in the Talmud that Jesus Christ, Mike. What did Mike say? I just whispered something into my... You can't whisper into a microphone, you dumb shit. Everything's recorded. Everything you're saying there. Oh, Marcus did it? He's got the big microphones on.

He's got the big microphones. He's got the microphones in his ears. He's got the microphones in his ears. He's got the microphones in his ears. Anti-microphones. Yeah, and typhophones. And typhophones, he's got them on his ears. What the fuck? You guys are driving me nuts.

Well, this White Ocean camp, it has drawn criticism over the years for engaging in behavior counter to the self-reliant spirit of Burning Man. It's considered a plug-and-play camp where burners, as they call themselves, can drop in and enjoy luxury accommodations rather than figure it out for themselves. Ah, so it's a horse shit scam. Yeah, you're supposed... Well, that's the thing.

It's like a hotel. Yeah, well, but it's also free. That's the thing, is that you're supposed to be able to go to Burning Man, take care of yourself, or you die, but these assholes are coming in and putting up big tents where people can just go and hang out, and it's kind of drawing a shit crowd hey you know what

man i'd be there day one i'm not trying to fucking scavenge a bun uh for food and drink in the desert bartering in the desert scenario and the whole all the rainbow gatherings oh it's so fun to barter oh you'll love bartering first barter is the worst word. Barter's not the worst word. Barter. It sounds like there's three bars in a row. It's so ridiculous when you say it. It's very primitive. Oh, trade. Trade things. Like the Navajo.

You're supposed to bring a gift. Here's a bead for a feather. I just feel like you're against the entire base of every economy that currently survives on Earth. I like that they burn shit. I think that's the fun part of every economy that currently survives on earth i like that they burn shit i think that's the fun part of it i like that as a fan of fire i'm willing to go well i like that they flooded this white ocean camp i think it's totally fine we have to get the money out of burning man but at the same time it's a corporate event it's full of um it's just

full of the wealthiest people on earth who can take two weeks off from work yeah didn't you see all of the braids that parisilton got put in for Burning Man? I mean, she paid lots of money for those braids. Did she really go to Burning Man? She went to Burning Man. She had to pay for the braids so that her hair didn't look dirty while she was at Burning Man. Oh, isn't that nice? Oh, braids.

Thank God. I thought you were saying parade. No, braids. She got braids put in. They do have braids. You have to leave, Mike? Yeah, I got to. I got a spot I have to go to.

Goodbye, Mike. Thank you for coming. Thanks for contributing. How was Totono's in Coney Island? Do you want to plug them? I mean, you're going to be plugging them all night on stage, apparently. I'm wearing the shirt from Totono's. Yeah, it's very good.

And you can hear about Totono's. The waitress is a little bit of an old C, but the pizza's excellent. October 7th. Oh, yeah, my Comedy Central special, October 7th at midnight. Fantastic. Congratulations. Thanks. Congratulations.

Thanks, guys. That's great. Check out Mike Bersin and listen to his podcast. All right. Thank you, Mike. All right, so now we're with White Ocean. They got drowned out. Yeah, let's move on to a contest.

Fuck these cocksuckers. I'm sorry. I'm very bitter about this. I know, I kind of want to go with you to retrieve your girlfriend from Burning Man. How fun would that be if two dudes hit the road, go into the middle of the desert, and go find your girlfriend and fucking bring her back? I don't think you would be happy with what you've...

Yeah, I'd rather her just hopefully come back. Yes, and then not say a word about what happened. Don't tell me anything about what happened. Don't say a word. Do you think she's having me anything about what happened. Don't say a word. Do you think she's having too much fun, Ed? She's having a great time. She's having a real nice time. I've only got one phone call.

One? And no text? A couple texts. They don't have a reception. They don't get reception out there. That's how they get you. So what happens is this. You get out there.

You're like, I'm going to have some fun. I don't even know what this crazy thing is. First couple days, you're like, it's too hot. I'm having a hard time. After the third or fourth day, they just break down all inhibitions. You become an animal out there. You become free and sensual and one with everybody there. This sounds

fucking awful. I know. This is the opposite of anything I would ever do. Give me a fancy hotel. I want a big bathtub. I want a cushy bed. That's all I want on a vacation. I want a buffet that comes to me. A buffet that comes to you? Yeah, while I'm at the pool. That sounds like fun want on a vacation. I want a buffet that comes to me. A buffet that comes to you? Yeah, while I'm at the pool. That sounds like fun.

Pool buffet. Room service. Home fae. Home fae. Yeah, and I also don't want anyone else at the pool. I just want to be alone. Do you just want to have a big pool with a lot of food next to it? You should just come down to my mother's house. You just gotta come visit my mother and you'll have a

great time. Do you guys have a pool over there? Yeah, we got a pool. My mom will feed you. Every time you guys come back, you and Henry complain as if you were just in Alcatraz. You have a pool? You just sit in a tube and my mom will just feed you from the side of the pool. She wouldn't get in with you. What the hell do you guys complain about? A lot.

Have you met us? Right, guys? At one point, too, you have to leave the pool. Leaving the pool is the problem. Yes. Okay. All right, Marcus, let's do one other story. You leave the pool when the girl screams.

You leave the pool when the girl screams. What the hell does that even mean? When the girl screams, you gotta get out of the pool. Yeah. I think that's pretty apparent. He gave you a one-two punch of what something is and what it means. You mean my mother? Who knows what you guys are talking about.

Marcus, what do we got? Three black bears treated a suburban California neighborhood like a resort, taking a dip in a backyard pool and helping themselves do a dumpster buffet. See, this is what I'm talking about. This is a vacation. I love bears. They're so much fun. I love bears so much.

If you could only been born a bear, Ben. Oh, my God. I would say, is that a picket neck basket? Because I want it. Actually, you wouldn't be able to say anything. You'd be a bear, Ben. Oh my god. I would say, is that a picket neck basket? Because I want it. Actually, you wouldn't be able to say anything. You'd be a bear. Maybe something like that. That's a pretty good bear.

The trio, two cubs and their mother, wandered out of the San Gabriel Mountains and into the foothill city of Pasadena on Thursday afternoon. They ventured through several backyards and jumped into at least two pools before being chased out of the area by a brave dog. Oh, my God.

This story has everything I've ever wanted in a story. A dog saves the day, the bears are adorable, and there's food next to a pool. And nobody got hurt, it sounds like, right? No, nobody got hurt at all. It was just a couple of bears just wandering around. Up to no good. Swimmed in a pool. Well, it was a mama and a couple of cubs,

so they were just taking a little vacation. And also you couldn't get close to them, I imagine. No, you can't get close to them. They're just wandering around, and then there's a big dog that came out. Maybe it was a little dog. Maybe it was a little chihuahua. Let's call him Nippers.

Nippers. Nippers the dog. Or Snipper. Call your dog Snippers. I like Snippers, which is a really good chain restaurant in Manhattan. Isn't that good? Yeah, the mother bear.

It's delicious. I don't like it. Schnippers, shop there now. It's a restaurant. Well, it's a restaurant. You could probably pick up a bag of chips and take it home, and that'd be shopping. All right, whatever.

Well, the mother bear appeared to be about 300 pounds, and a Fish and Wildlife spokesman said her cubs, quote, look to be pretty darn healthy, too. They were healthy. I watched this footage live on Fox News. Shepard Smith was recording, reporting, and he is adorable. He loves bears, and it was the best commentary ever. And I think that this is, I mean, more bears in society.

It has to happen on a more regular basis. I don't think that it should. I want to see a bear on the subway. I am with you. I don't know. I mean, maybe a sleepy early morning bear. Yeah, if they're all stoned and shit, it's fine. Bears are...

I mean, when was the last time a bear really attacked and killed somebody other than in New Jersey last year? We did hear about that case. But for the most part, bears are, like, super peaceful. And if they do approach you, just play dead. And the last time was, like, about a month ago. A month ago. I thought you were supposed to act bigger so you hear them move in slow motion is what you're supposed to do move in slow motion i think you're supposed to start beating off show the bear how good life yeah if you can get your if you can beat them to the crackers you don't have to eat them you can

run away in time no you get rid of being killed by a bear by just going to sleep. That's what you're going to do. My good friend of mine, he's a teacher down south, and he got introduced to a new student because classes are starting up again. He's like, I think you're going to like this new student. And he's like, yeah, sure. He's like, well, I'll tell you what. I'll give you an A if you could tell me the answer to this question. And he's like, if you and your friend are in the woods and a bear starts running at you what do you do

kid starts crying turns out he was attacked by a bear when he was a child you know not everything has to have a trigger warning on it that kid needs to toughen up i mean to be fair it doesn't come around very often. It's probably the first time he's cried about it with a bear attack. Yeah, maybe, but it's also the question he has an actual answer to. And don't watch The Revenant, and don't watch Grizzly Man. I never saw The Revenant. So good.

So good. Love it. It's so good, man. What's wrong with you, Holden? I'm having a hard time today. What happened to your fucking brain, bro? I don't know. I think your brain went night-night forever.

I'm worried for you. It's been a bit waterlogged for the past couple days. Hey, it kind of looked like that coaster there. We got these coasters around here, the mugshot coasters. This one looks like Holden. It does. Hey, it looks like a big loser. It is an audible podcast, so explain your physical actions.

He's got glasses, and he looks like an asshole. A fan sent us a series of coasters and it's all mug shots. This guy happens to look like Buddy Holly and he also looks like Holden. It probably says it on the back of who it is. Good lord. Marcus, take control here. Yep. David Horowitz, 1919 South 20th Street.

His crime was punch card fraud. David Horowitz? Being a Jew. I'm sorry. No, it's fine. That is actually very inappropriate, Jackie. Back then? Wait, but Racine said a bunch of Jew stuff. Jewish things.

Do you guys even understand? What is punch card fraud? That means that he got one of his buddies like, hey, clock me in. I'm not at work yet, but you go ahead and clock me in. You can go to jail for that? You can go to jail for a bunch of things. Yeah, you can go to jail for fucking putting your hand up a nurse's skirt.

And that's not fair because that's why women wear skirts. That's not true. Jackie. I'm sorry. What the hell is wrong with you guys? You guys got to get back on board. Get back on message. Marcus, we need another news story that's not going to make them say horrible things.

I was talking about bears. I love bears. I love the bears. You're so cute with their honey. All right. We love bears here on Roundtable. Winnie the Pooh should have had pants. I hate Winnie the Pooh.

You should have given him pants. Wait, wait, wait. Jackie just said she hates Winnie the Pooh. I've talked about this on here before. It is dumb. It is all his imaginary friends. You know who I feel fucking bad for? Christopher Robin's mother.

Because Christopher Robin had no fucking friends. Except for these idiots that were scared of everything. The only one I liked? Mama. The kangaroo? Mama. Kanga. Kanga. Mama Kanga. Oh, Mama. The kangaroo? Mama. Kanga. Kanga.

Mama Kanga. Oh, I was always on Team Tigger. I loved Tigger. No, he was an idiot and he was all coked out of his fucking brain. He was bouncing a drug at us. I loved Tigger and I loved Eeyore. I was about to say you're more of an Eeyore guy. I'm not more of an Eeyore guy.

I'm a perfect combination of Tigger and Eeyore. You always lose your tail, you idiot. So you're saying you're severely bipolar? Yeah. Haven't you noticed? Yeah, of course I have. No, it's all the parts of his brain. You got to look at it.

This is just mental illness. It's a story about mental illness. And this kid should have just been put down. This is why. Anybody who has mental illness should be put down as a child. This kid specifically because he had no friends. Do you remember the live action one when they were all in

costumes? It was terrifying. They would sing songs like Try a little something new. Try a little something new. Try a little something no one else has done. I love that song. That's when I first tried making a pizza burrito.

A burrito? I'd rather have a wa pizza burrito. A burrito? Yes. I'd rather have a whopperito. I've only watched the reviews, but I'm dying to try one. I haven't heard of this. Is this a BK thing? Whopperito. Burger King thing? Oh, yeah. Shop at Burger King.

God, I have a whopperito. It's a burrito where it's just they grind it up a whopper. They didn't even grind it up. I'm pretty sure it's just the full. Rolled up? I think it's just the full whopper. Whoa. Oh, my God. It's true. Really, you guys? Big. I'm pretty sure it's just the full. Rolled up? I think it's just the full Whopper. Whoa. Oh, my God.

It's true. Really? You guys big? I have to try Whopperino. I don't know about this. Yeah, it's just a Whopper ingredients wrapped up in a tortilla. In a tortilla. Okay?

It's not revolutionary. No, not at all. It kind of is. Mine is melting. I want to try it. There is somebody who is voting for Trump just because that exists, though. The whole world's been taken over. The Whopper used to be a burger, and now it's a tortilla.

It's a healthier option. I think it's amazing. I want to have one. It was the only checklist of my vacation checklist of things that I didn't get to. What were the things you did check? I saw a dolphin. She had a regular Whopper. Yeah.

No, I didn't have a regular Whopper. I did have a sausage. It was a Whopper. Yeah. No, I didn't have a regular Whopper. I did have a sausage. It's a Whopper. I got a sausage. Oh, God. I ordered a sausage McMuffin. Do you know that it naturally doesn't come with an egg on it? Who knew?

You get a sausage McMuffin, you got to say sausage egg McMuffin. What do you mean, Jack? It was sausage and cheese on an English muffin. You have to get the sausage egg McMuffin. I didn't know I had to say egg. Egg McMuffin. I thought it was sausage McMuffin. I like the breakfast burritos.

They are kind of good. Really? I like the McGriddle. Oh, too far. Pancake. Riddle boy. I love McGriddle. I do bacon, egg, and cheese.

Biscuit, baby. Oof. You eat two of those, you will nap through a hurricane, brother. Why would you ever eat two? Woo! Eat two, boy, because it'll put you down like a bear! What's wrong with your mind? Put you down like a bear, baby!

I did get a snake out of a pool while I was in Florida, though. Ooh, I've done that before. There's a bear in there, yeah. What kind of snake? At first we thought it was a, what is it, the black racer. But I don't think that it was because it was really fucking big. And so I was helping my mom get out. She's like, no, we just got to get out.

I was like, we got to kill this thing. So we got to get it out and we got to shovel its head off. But she wouldn't let me shovel its head off. So we let it out. But then the next day we just found a bunch of dead toads in the backyard. That's pretty cool, though. Oh, so it went crazy. It went nuts.

It didn't even eat the toads? It just murdered them? It murdered them, but there was like some half-digested ones. But I don't think it was a black racer because usually they don't do that. Like the huge, like the bufo frogs, like they're like these weird poisonous. Yeah, so they were puking them up. Yeah, they were poisonous. Oh, so it probably died.

Florida's fucking disgusting. Florida is awful. Yeah, if your dog gets a hold of one. Yeah, they're poisonous. Oh, so it probably died. Florida's fucking disgusting. Florida is awful. Yeah, if your dog gets a hold of one of those, you just got to, you know, old yeller it. Really? Yeah. You've got to hug it and make a movie about it? No, you shoot it in the head at the end. It foams.

Oh, really? Yeah, that's how the movie ends. Is that what happens at the end of Old Yeller? Yeah, they kill Old Yeller. Where have you been? It gets railer alert. Whoa, Ben, you didn't know that? It's the saddest book of all time.

I never read the book, but... Santa Paws. I'm sorry, you're right. Santa Paws is... Where the Red Fern Grows. That. Where the Red Fern Grows. Santa Paws is pretty rough.

I've talked about it on here before. Santa Paws? It's about an orphan dog who goes around helping everyone in a community. It's the Christmas season, and he goes and he helps person after person, but he's an orphan dog. Freezes to death? At the end, he freezes to death. He does? Call that one.

Santa Paws. That's not as sad as... It's a movie? No, it's a book. It's a terrible book. Can't take your way out of that, can you? Santa Paws. Why did he die? Why didn't they save him? Because no one knew who he was. It was like, oh, it was just like this orphan dog that did all this help for people and no one

helped him out and he died. So then he died like Jack Nicholson fromson from the shining so how do they have all these sequels there's santa pause the return of santa pause santa pause comes home santa pause to the rescue santa pause our hero i think it's about orphan dogs he dies in the santa pause menopause and finally santaaws on Christmas Island I bet that he dies at the end of every book because it's all about giving and not expecting anything in return

and Christmas Island I believe there's like a molester on the loose oh I don't think so why would they make a movie about a dog yeah he bites his penis off oh I don't believe that that seems to be a little bit obscene pea juice well I don't believe that. Penis. That seems to be a little bit obscene. Pee juice. Well, I don't know what you guys are talking about.

Pee juice. Pussy juice. Who can forget the story of Mingo the monkey? I can't. I never even knew it. It was a very sad book that I read. Mingo the monkey? It's a retarded monkey that Mentally challenged. Mentally challenged monkey. Please, I'm upset. Now I'm upset. Thank you, Ed. I don't know if I can hear the rest of this story. They make fun of the monkey

and the monkey tries to join the football team, and then they just fucking cut his arms. Wait, is this the Holden McNeely story? They cut his arms and his legs off? Yeah, yeah. Because he wanted to play football? Because he wanted to play football. So you're making this entire thing up.

So it's kind of like radio mixed with monkey murder? Kind of like radio mixed. Yeah, that's nailed it. Or maybe, what was the name of the dickhead? Remember the Titans. Forrest Gump. No, not Remember the Titans. The asshole from Notre Dame. The Giovanni Ribisi from The Other Sister. What was the name of the dickhead? Remember the Titans. Forrest Gump. No, not Remember the Titans. The asshole from Notre Dame.

Giovanni Ribisi from The Other Sister. What was the name of the kid in Notre Dame? Daniel. Booty. No, it was not. Notre Dame. What was the name of the kid? Booty.

Rick Rudy. Oh, yeah, Rudy. Oh, Sean Astin. Rudy Rudiger. College football's back. Yeah. Who cares? I'm sorry.

I know you guys care. The way they justify killing the monkey, though, is apparently the monkey's extremely homophobic, so it's sort of leveled the playing field. Homophobic. So not a lot of people will come to its aid, I guess. That's the thing. So people are like, oh, I guess it's okay. Oh, it's a gay monkey.

Yeah. No, it's a homophobic monkey. It's a homophobic monkey. The monkey is homophobic. Most homophobic monkeys are gay. That is true. Yeah. So it's a gay homophobic monkey. Oh, don't true, yeah. So it's a gay, homophobic monkey.

Don't get me started. It's like American Beauty all over again. Totally. Why are all these American Beauty references? That's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. The plastic bag. You put a bag over a monkey's head and it dies. It dies.

You put a bag over anything and it probably dies. Yeah, and then you bang that high school student. Well, and this monkey, too, they figured it out, too. They just put a bunch of gay porn inside the bag, so they put it over its head. It was just looking at the gay porn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was hard. And they clued its monkey hands to its cock.

I don't think this movie really existed. Cuckoo is what he called his penis in the book. Wait, in radio, does he play football in radio? No, he's the water boy, I think. No, water boy, that's a movie. You mean the Adam Sandler movie. Yeah, water boy. Favorite Adam Sandler movie. Water boy. We're not going with it. You mean the Adam Sandler movie. Yeah, Waterboy. Favorite Adam Sandler movie.

Waterboy. We're not going with it. You need to get some structure back. No, no, Wedding Singer is mine. I was asking who. You must get some structure back. I think I like Little Nicky. Little Nicky's good.

No, you don't. There's no way you like Little Nicky. Little Nicky's a wonderful documentary, and I call it a documentary because it's entirely true. What's your favorite? Adam Sandler's movie. Adam Sandler movies. Bulletproof was good.

The Love Guru. Guys, I'm making it funny. Jackie B. Funny. That was a good joke. What's your favorite? Of all the Adam Sandler films. If you say segment really fast, it'll also be the segment. Is that right?

You didn't say it fast enough. I have to say, well, you know, you want to say Billy Madison or Happy Gilmore. I'm going to go deep cuts. Click. Not click. Click is sad. What was the name of the one with- Eight Crazy Nights.

Oh, it's fun. I do like Eight Crazy Nights. Is it fun? It is fun. Punished Drunk Love. Oh, that's a good one. That's a good one. That's a legitimately good movie.

Does that count as an Adam Sandler movie? No. He's the lead character. It doesn't. However, Rain Over Me would be mine. Rain Over You? You love that movie. I love that movie. Why do you like that movie so much? I don't know.

I think I saw it twice in the movie theater. I haven't seen it since, so I have no idea if it holds up. It's about 9-11. Or Spanglish. There's also Spanglish. I never saw Spanglish. It always was such a renter. I'd see it on the wall, but I was just about to get it,

and then I'd find something else. Well, it's Taileone. I mean, you can't count on her. Can't count on her. Why can't you count on her? And that was back in the beautiful days of Blockbuster. I miss those days. You can't count on her. I don't miss those days one bit.

You don't miss Blockbuster? No. You go in the movie, look at which one you want. Getting excited. What are we going to get? I hope they have what I want in. How many times I rented The Dentist just because of the cover of it? The Dentist?

Yeah. Corbin Bernson? No. It was an open mouth and they had a bunch of razor blades instead of teeth. Oh, yeah. The horror movie. And it scared me so much that I just rented over and over again. I do love...

Family Video was amazing. Yeah. The horror section was always so wonderful. Always so wonderful. Yeah. Video Mania was ours. Yeah, the horror section was always so wonderful. Always so wonderful. Yeah, Video Mania was ours. They were fucking fantastic. I was afraid to walk through the horror section because of all the scary covers. I loved it.

No, mine was cool, and it was so cool that they put Evil Dead 3 on Army of Darkness just so we would know. Nice. Oh, that's nice. That's fun. They knew what they were doing. Nice. Video Mania.

I miss them. We had 10,000 movies. Okay. That place was great. They didn't have 10,000 movies. I think I place was great. They didn't have 10,000 movies. I think they had more. Really? It was big.

It was big. You could be in there for hours. They got all the classic horror movies like Marker Wave Massacre. Oh, yeah. Bloodsucking Freaks and all those good ones. Oh, yeah. Bloodsucking Freaks. Bloodsucking Freaks was awesome.

Can't forget Campbell Lee. Corbin Bernson. He's the dentist. Corbin Bernson was in The Dentist 2. Oh, okay. 51st Dates. Classic. Also a good one. I enjoyed it. 50 First Dates. Classic. Also a good one.

I enjoyed it. Is there another? Big Daddy. Not good. I like Big Daddy. I like Big Daddy. I like Big Daddy. Big Daddy fucking sucks.

There's nothing wrong with Big Daddy. I thought you just said you liked it. I never said I liked it. Oh, maybe I heard. Marcus sounded like you just said. I said I liked it. Yeah. You loved Big Daddy, Eddie.

Yeah, it's a garbage film. Oh, I don't think that's true. It was a really good finger bang movie, though. That and The Chase had a finger bang movie. Oh, The Chase is great. Yeah, yeah. What are you talking about? Finger bang.

Which is good movies to take your girlfriend at the time, back when you were in high school, to the movie to give her a finger. Oh, I would never do that in a movie theater. You've never fingered a girl in a movie theater. I'm there for the movie. Oh, man. Remember in Fear? That was great.

The roller coaster ride. The roller coaster. And that was a great way to initiate a finger banging with your then girlfriend who was maybe a little uncomfortable by it.

They're like, ooh, but look, they're enjoying it. You could enjoy it too. Yeah. Yeah, but he was like a rapist. I don't think

that's at that point in the movie. Go to the movies for the movie. All right. So, Mark. It's time for a segment from Hope McNeely.

Monster trucks. Everybody, we're going to choose a, you don't know this, Jackie? All right. It's time for a segment from Hope McNeely. Monster Trucks. Everybody, we're going to choose. You don't know this, Jackie? You didn't tell me the segment. You didn't tell me either, but that's okay. Segment bombed. It's not over yet. It's not over yet.

Monster Truck. You have to come up with a name, what it looks like, how much toot it has. Marcus is going to name the best one. It's going to be the closer of the night. Marcus is running a multi-millionaire, running a monster truck rally, so we've got to pick him out. It's more about Tude than anything. That's the thing.

You're going to design it, right? That's part of the Tude. I'm going to start off a little... It's short for attitude, is that correct? Attitude, bro. What else would it be short for? Latitude. Like where it be short for? Latitude Like where it's at

Latitude? Yeah if it's at Or longitude Yeah or longitude Where is it in the United States? Prime meridian-ness bitch Right upper latitude Right

If you don't know what I'm talking about When I say toot I don't think you're gonna have the right toot You know what I'm saying? It's all good You know what's a good way A little hint for all you students out there? For latitude, when you say latitude, your mouth gets wide.

But when you say longitude, it gets long. So it's a good way to remember latitude and longitude. Oh, my God, it's a teaching session. And that's the same thing for if it's a cat. You go cat. That's going to be a long cat. But if you go dog, that's a tall dog. You never ever say dog-itude.

No one ever says dog-itude. Yeah, all right. None of that matters. Monster truck rally, I'm going to go first. I'm going to be a little threatening to you guys. And I hope you don't displease, but it's going to be difficult to follow me. My monster truck is called. I do want to say good point, Dad.

You're a great teacher. My monster truck is called Fam do want to say good point dad You're a great teacher My monster truck is called Famous Dr. Nunez Okay Is he Hispanic in nature? He is a Hispanic doctor Monster truck He's wearing a big lab coat

Right He does It's a big truck That's holding a couple of beakers That has different like chemicals in them He makes chemical reactions happen. Everybody loves it, right? And then he gives your wife his number.

At the end. I mean, you thought about this previously. See, it's not fair. I came up with a segment. I thought of it. I've been thinking about it for hours. I want to give Dr. Nunez my number. I know, right? But don't do that because we're on the podcast right now. And everyone will know

your number. 777. Jackpot. Jackpot. 777 jackpot. Van? Mine would be a combination of Eeyore and Tigger. I guess we'll call it Eager. Does that make sense? Oh, it's close.

Eorger. Eorger. Eorger. No one's going to be... T-O-R. I'm not going to... T-O-R. Eorger. Yeah, T-O-R.

Let's get... Well, either way, it's extremely... Get those G's out of there. Let's just get those double G's right out. Oh, we're getting rid of those? Oh, I don't know. How about just call it T-O-R? Just call it T-Or on the set.

Okay, we'll call it T-Or. T-Or is fine. T-Or is much simpler. I don't know what you guys are thinking about. Your minds are different than mine. Okay, we'll call it T-Or, and it goes really fast, but then sometimes it gets sad, and it just completely stops. But then it goes really, really fast again,

and at the end of the day, it comes in second. Okay. Okay. That second place is pretty good. Second place is pretty good. It's never not generally a race when we talk about Monster Truck Rally the day, it comes in second. Okay. That second place is pretty good. Second place is pretty good. It's never not generally a race when we talk about monster truck rallies. Yeah, it is. Yeah, I mean, sometimes it is.

No, monster trucks are judged. There's judges, much like figure skating and stuff. Or the Olympics. Yeah, so it really is a race. It's a competition. It's a competition. I wouldn't say it's a race. Sometimes it's a race.

You've just got a big, long trail of cars. There's that Gravedigger versus Bigfoot. Yeah, if the T-Rex does it, is it's a race. Sometimes it's a race You've just got a big long trail of cars that grave digger versus Bigfoot Yeah, if the t-rex it does it is it called a chomp petition? No, no, it's not a t-rex. It's truck a sore truck a sore you fucking asshole. Why would you even say that? Jackie I'm being bullied My slut sister so on the front it's got a big, like, gaping pussy. And so all the men can't stop looking at the pussy. And in the back, it's like a big, like, pickup truck that's, like, souped out.

And, like, all the girls are strapped down, but they're, like, up and their breasts are out. And they're going like, hey, boys. Hey, boys. But the thing is that if the truck wins, it's got all of the attitude of like after all these girls just told their mother that she was a bitch. And they all just got on this big rig. And they're just ready to go. So if it wins, they're going to bang the fuck out of everybody, including all the owners of the cars, all the people that are riding in the other cars. owners of the cars, all the people that are riding in the other cars,

and they're just going to have this big gaping pussy that's going to be like a water slide that comes down and out like a big tongue out of the pussy. So afterwards, you go through the pussy and you slide down at the bottom and you just bang in this big orgy. Can I mention a flaw in what you've said? No. All right. All right, Ed, what do you got? Well, like wrestling, I feel like monster trucks

Need their bad guys Wrestling That's just a word I'm gonna go think about that for three seconds That was fun Alright Like wrestling you need a bad guy So what I'm gonna do is

I'm gonna call my truck A heel I'm gonna call it Ku Kl'm going to call my truck... A heel. Yeah, a heel. I'm going to call it Ku Klux Klan. And it's going to be a clown that's also like a clan member. Sears also has a large white garment on it like mine. Yeah, and it's like

whatever a black person shows, but it honks a little horn like... Everyone, you know, they try to get him out of there. I don't know. I would like to add a little... See, I see a get him out of there. I don't know. I would like to add a little. See, I see a lot of problems with that. I'd like to add a little.

Well, he's a bad guy. I'd like to add a little part of it. No one's going to root for him. I think a lot of people are going to root for him, especially at Monster Truck Rally. Well, it's good at identifying those people. So it's wearing the hood, right? Yeah, it's got the hood on top. This is what I want to do, right?

It's got like a big red nose. You get everybody to chant, what's under the hood? What's under the hood, right? Yeah, it's got the hood on top. This is what I want to do, right? It's got like a big red nose. You get everybody to chant, what's under the hood? What's under the hood? What's under the hood? And then a rabbi comes out. A rabbi runs out, right, with some scissors and he bites the hood off. Oh!

This is a great little cat. And then a bunch of blood shoots out. Yeah, a bunch of blood shoots out and he's like, yeah, you got herpes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you got to start the car by turning the engine key with a burning cross. I'm going to go with famous Dr. Noon. Come on. All right, Holden wins his own segment.

Clucks, clown. Na, na, na, na, na, na. All right, so that's this episode. Anything to plug? Yeah, absolutely. Wizard and the Bruiser. Wizard and the Bruiser. Wizard and the Bruiser coming out this Thursday. So check it out.

Check it, check it, check it out. And my Twitch stream is Holdenatorsho. Check us out. We're still doing Monday nights, Lexi Loves Game Night, even though we have officially beaten Final Fantasy VII. 31 episodes in the making. That's 62 hours, Ben. Okay.

You can find all of us on Twitter. I'm at Ben Kitzel. That's at Marcus Parks. And that's 62 hours ben okay you can find all of us on twitter i'm at ben kissel that's at marcus parks and uh that's jack the worm parks is at marcus parks yeah jack the worm eddy tunes underscore murder fist september 10th last murder fish show of the murder fish show please come check it out you can see us one more time at sketch fest at the pit but we're taking a little break so please this is gonna be one of your last chances to see us and listen the brighter side. All right, everyone. We'll talk to you soon.

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