The Roundtable of Gentlemen - Episode 304: If Asses Could Talk

Episode Date: November 8, 2016

The gang talks silly minor league sports teams, the chances of Holden ever running the New York Marathon, and reads a bad review someone left of our show.

The round table. Gentlemen, let's broaden our minds. Ladies and gentlemen, and let them go watch what? Fire at will. It's time for action, gentlemen. Gentlemen, what's the topic of discussion? Civility, gentlemen. Always civility.

Civility. All right, this is the round table of gentlemen. It's a small skeleton crew. That's fine because we're with the majority of the cowmen and skeleton Dan. Wow. That's Jackie Zabrowski. That's me. Jackie, I want you to pray today if you could.

I mean, I just feel like you need to get in contact with God right now. Otherwise, the whole thing is going to fall apart. It's the election. This is the roundtable before the election of our lives. Dear God. Thank you, Jackie. Very good.

I think that these people are going to get in the big White House. Oh, they're in Washington, D.C. Man, I've been living my whole life out on the field looking at that big white house hoping someday I could walk through those doors. Maybe just, I don't know, sit on a couch, but they won't let me do it. Well, now they will, though. You think they will? Yes.

We're getting a woman in there? I don't give a fuck. I couldn't give one flying fuck about anything political at all. And you know what? I am going to pray for God. I'm going to pray for the three separate people that made a joke to me today saying, so did you run in the New York Marathon this morning? Amen.

And actually, every time I laughed, three separate people joking about how I obviously never in a million years have run in my entire life. Yeah. I love the joke. It's just an achievement that many others do have. Hundreds, yeah. Hundreds. I believe hundreds of thousands.

But stating it towards you is a funny joke. Just as a joke because they know I definitely did it. My brother-in-law, Don, who I believe is 55 years old, ran it for the 10th time today. Wow. Oh, my God. He's in such better shape than I have ever been and ever will be in his life. Than all of us. Same here.

Four of us. Yep. That's it. I'm thinking about getting in marathon shape. Pultenators, ho! Oh, hell no, we won't go. I was thinking about getting in marathon shape. I have been running lately.

I think I could do a solid seven miles, so we'll see. There you go. Check back in with getting in marathon shape. I have been running lately. I think I could do a solid seven miles. So we'll see. There you go. Back in with me in a year. You know, it's more than quadruple what you've been running. Yes, but you don't even run all of it till the day because your adrenaline goes up. So if I can get up to seven, I'll probably just do the day. Yeah.

I think you should practice running a few times. You don't die. It helps your adrenaline. Isn't it 21 miles? 24. No, no, it's 26.1. Yeah,'t die. It helps your adrenaline. Isn't it 21 miles? 24. No, no, it's 26.1. Yeah, that's a lot more than seven. I think you want to get up to 15, which is a little more than double seven, which isn't even that crazy when you say it like that. You can't even.

It is actually much crazier to say it like that. Much, much crazier. And then it's just double that. I see. All right. The first marathoner died, and nobody died today. Nike died? No, not Nike.

Nike didn't win the marathon. Bill Nike has died? Bill Nike is alive and well. He's got his Nike family. No, the first person, it was like Athens or something. He ran to report some Nike. His name was Nike? Yeah, that's why it's called Nike.

No, it's not. William Air Jordan Nike. We know this, Ben. What? I'm almost positive that's where it comes from. The name of the first person who run 26.1 miles to report something to somebody died, but his name was Nike? I'm pretty sure his name was Nike. Yes.

That doesn't make any sense at all. No, excuse me. It was Fidipides. Yeah. So you can imagine if it was Air Fidippides. Air Jordan Pheidippides. The man who first heard the call of Paul Revere on that fateful night. I remember that. And then John Quincy Adams defended him.

Yes, and he was black. And he was a very good trumpet player. Yeah, and didn't he have a jack-o'-lantern for a head? I believe so. And he never slept. Isn't that possible? Nike was the Greek goddess of victory. There it is.

Okay, so I wasn't that far off. But why didn't Nike choose Filippides to be their shoe brand? Filippides are so much more fun for shoes. Where are my Filippides flops? Filippides flops are fun. No, it's Fidipides. Fidipides? Fidipides flops.

It might be Fadipides. It's P-H-E-I-D-I-P-P-I-D-E-S. So it could be Fadipides. There is some alternative universe where the game of basketball is played with the people who are the shortest who never get off the ground. And they wear Pheidippides. And there's some dude like Ground Mike who is their Air Jordan. And it's really fun. I could be on that team.

Yeah, we would crush it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't knock me down. That's it. I got a good center of gravity. You got a good pair of concrete Pheidipp a good pair of, you know, concrete fidipities. And good in short distances, Jackie. If it was a short distance marathon, I think she'd do pretty well.

Yeah. A short distance marathon. Less than a foot. Less than a foot. She's a hopper. Oh, my God. I just fucking won, bitches. A 12-inch marathon.

All right. All right. I think it's probably time for a very large amount of PlayStation Network shout-outs. We've got to fill at least 45 minutes. We've got a skeleton crew. I'm bringing it, guys. I did the homework. I sat down and I wrote down the things that people said to me via my PlayStation Messenger.

Also, Sony hit me up. I've sold 10 units. Whoa. Isn't that something? Sony said, congratulations, you're a 10-unit seller. How much are you getting for that? messenger also sony hit me up i've sold 10 units whoa that's right so you said congratulations you're a 10 unit seller how much are you getting for that oh not not not the recognition hold on you sold 10 units i've pushed i'm moving units what the hell is a unit i don't know what that means bs4 system so they can ask me for a playstation shout out i said 400 a shout out

you can have one too well actually actually $460 because well no $414. So that'll give you one month of PlayStation Network and that's all you need to get a shout out from me. And then you can take it out to your backyard and light it on fire. Yeah totally. I mean I like it. The OS is pretty good. But what the hell is the unit? The PlayStation

4. The PlayStation 4 itself. It's shaped like a rhombus. So you specifically. So somebody bought it and said I am buying this because of Holden. Yes. Ten people. Yes, and Sony sent me a t-shirt. But how does Sony know that? They sent me a t-shirt that says 10 unit movers.

Seems like a strange... And it's a photo of Mario with his fucking dick exploding up. Oh, that's cool, though. And he's going, oh, no, it's me. It's my dick. It's my dick exploded. Well, that reminds me of why we get those negative reviews. Jackie, your

character. And I'm yuck yuck Ben Kissel. Yeah, well my man woman character can be misogynistic. I didn't know that. I'm proud of myself. Yes, Jackie, even women can be misogynistic. Dan Anderson. They can, Jackie.

They can, Jackie. You know what? I'm just trying. Do you want to apologize to women? To that woman? Fuck no. What was her name? Mel?

Mel B? The Spice Girl? The Spice Girl? That's Scary Spice, and I was always Scary Spice, so that I would just take it, yeah, and I would do high kick, and my hair's big,

and I wear only two tops. I don't know what she wore. She wore big pants. Cultural appropriation. What? She had the dynamite sticking off of her breasts. I think that was Madonna. She was like, light my breasts.

Explode my breasts. I just have an exploding genitalia scenario happening in my head right now. Hey, man, we're all thinking about something different. Yeah, Mario, the Spice Girls. Dan Anderson says, shout out to Kissel. I hear he finger blasts ladies on their period so he can pretend he's Wolverine. Not at all true, but thank you for the shout out.

No G says, Marcus Parks farts smell like pineapple. Love you guys. Wish you the best. I eat a lot of pineapple. Monk Dizzle 420. That makes your cum taste good. Monk Dizzle says, shout out to Holden's mom so you go my man my lovely mommy I love it I wish I could binge watch my mommy should be on would you be on Hulu or Netflix or see so whoo see so horny see so hor That is his answer. I don't hate it.

I don't think it would be a show on it. Monk Dizzle. Yeah, it's totally going to happen. 2017. Monk Dizzle 420 says, oh, we already did that one. Julie M.H. binged all the RT episodes. Jackie is the queen, and I miss Bird Luger. She says Holden is hilarious, and she loves all of us.

All right. What about Yuck Yuck Jokester Ben Kissel? I've never told a joke on this show. I think they were talking about Eddie. That's what bothers me. Because Eddie's the Yuck Yuck. Did y'all go looking at negative reviews again? No, Lupe posted

a bunch of negative reviews. One negative review. We actually don't have that many. Lupe just posted it and I did send him a personal Facebook message. I said, we don't have that many. And Lupe just posted it and I did send him a personal Facebook message. I said, we don't need that. Actually,

out of all the things we don't need right now, negative review, we just don't need to be focusing on that. It was a funny negative review, though, to his credit.

What did they say about me? They don't like you. She did not like you. She did not like me? She didn't like any of us. She said if your ass could talk, she'd be more interested in what it had to say. So would I. Yeah.

She says, newsman Marcus Parks. And she's like, oh, they're all voting for Trump. Oh, yeah. She thinks we're all voting for Trump. Okay. Yeah. Cool. So, you know, she knows us very, very well.

You know they're secretly all voting for Trump, which is an interesting observation. And then she said there was underlying misogynist, misogynism, and I don't know if she said racism, but I think over- She said bigotry. She said it was slight and hidden, and I was like, I don't think it's slight or hidden. I try to stop it. She said my favorite cartoon cat is Heathcliff. Yes. Fuck her.

I love Heathcliff over Garfield. You know I'm a Garfield. Yeah, we're Garfield on this side of the table. Okay, well, let's hear out the argument. We have talked. We've had this conversation before. Heathcliff came from the wrong side of the truck. Heathcliff was funnier.

Garfield's always been protected. Always. Always been sheltered and sleeps. Five meals a day. Five meals a day Garfield gets. And it's all Italian food, so you know he's fun and loving life. Heathcliff fish bones. Barely meat on those. And he has a

ragtag group of friends. But he's so fat. Well, because he's gotta eat a lot of He's hustling, baby. He's hustling. Heathcliff is without a doubt better than Garfield in every single way. Garfield is an elitist. Heathcliff is Heathcliff is like the Biggie Smalls of cat cartoons. Garfield is an elitist. Heathcliff is Heathcliff. Heathcliff is like the Biggie Smalls of cat cartoons.

Garfield is like Mace. Oh, my God. No. I agree with that. Is that Bash in the pan? No, Garfield is like Funkmaster Fresh. He's like Grandmaster Flash. He was an originator.

He was one of the guys. He's what made orange cartoon cats. We don't need to hear about your knowledge of clan leaders, all right? What are we talking about? We're talking about cartoon cats. He's what made cartoon cats cool. Orange cartoon cats, I might add. He's what made cartoon cats cool.

Garfield made cartoon cats accessible for your parents. No, Garfield came before Heathcliff. Heathcliff was a- That's debatable. That is debatable. Extremely debatable. We can prove this right now. Well, we can debate it right now.

The Rolling Stones come from money. The Beatles are impoverished. The Beatles are Heathcliff, and the Rolling Stones are Garfield. Who started rock and roll? I think, actually, the Beatles. Neither one of them did. Chuck Berry is Heathcliff. Elvis appropriated blues music for white people.

Oh, don't even get me started on all that. It's problematic. You know what? I'm going to have to go ahead and admit I was wrong here. Heathcliff came out in 1973, five years before Garfield did. Amazing. Suck it. Suck it.

Those sounds. Incredible. Stop the sounds. Heyuck it. Suck it. No sound. Incredible. Stop the sound. Hey, hey. I graciously offered up my own mea culpa, and now you two assholes are hitting me with air horns. What would Heathcliff do? It does not matter, bro.

No. No, Heathcliff would just go to sleep in a pile of garbage, like the garbage cat that he is. He came from garbage. He made himself a star. No, he didn't. He never got a... Garfield was given everything.

He's like the kid in Pee Wee Herman's Big Adventure in the giant pool. Are you saying that Heathcliff is Pee Wee? No, yes. No. Heathcliff's Pee Wee, and Garfield's the clown with the chains on it. Yeah, that means he's rock and fucking roll, motherfucker.

Can't disagree with Holden on this one. Yeah, but does Heathcliff have an amazing Halloween special? Have you watched the Garfield Halloween special? Oh, I've seen it. Candy, candy, candy. It gets creepy. Garfield? It gets fucking better.

Yeah, because Garfield had all the money and big media behind him. Heathcliff is a grassroots cat. I'm glad you brought up big media. Thank you very much, Holden. Big media is the whole reason why we have Garfield being glorified. Oh, Garfield, king of the Jews, Garfield. Listen to me. I will have you both know right now.

Heathcliff is the unsung hero of our generation. I agree. It's not even our generation. It's our generation. Oh, Kurt It's not even our generation. It is our generation. Oh, Kurt Cobain. Oh, he killed himself. Heathcliff's been in his corner getting the job done since day one. Never sending Nermal to Abu Dhabi.

Heathcliff would allow Nermal to hang around. Yeah. It was a boy cat. Who cares? Damn, Ben, this really is your guy. The second season of the Heathcliff cartoon. You know who was in that? Who?

Your favorite cartoon animal. Oh my goodness. My favorite cartoon animal? Who do you miss from the funny pages the most? Marmaduke? Marmaduke's in Heathcliff. Marmaduke was in Heathcliff? Yeah. Yeah. Of course he was. Heathcliff has great

friends. Heathcliff is friend to the best. Of course. And Mar Marmaduke there is no denying Marmaduke is the greatest of all comic strip dogs He didn't even talk Who cares I have a Marmaduke cartoon in my wallet And I've had it in my wallet I'm taking it out it's not a visual podcast

He's taking it out right now Little known fact about Ben He's been carrying a laminated Marmaduke Cartoon around in his wallet for like 10 years. For about 10 years, my friend Timothy Schultz gave it to me. It looks so disgusting. Why is it laminated? Because I laminated it, and my friend Timothy Schultz gave it to me, and it's Marmaduke

spinning around, and what does it say? It says, Marmaduke, stop. This is a no-spin zone. It's a no-spin zone. It's not funny. It's the no-spin zone. It's Bill O-spin zone. That's not funny. It's the no-spin zone. It's Bill O'Reilly. Out of your wallet, out of your watch.

That's it. Into your car. It's been a long time since I've seen no-spin zone. Marmaduke, stop. It's a no-spin zone. There it is. Brilliant. It's brilliant.

And then it's in the background. It says crash, bang. Yeah, he's spinning. Anyway. Would you like to touch it? Yeah, of course. I've touched it before. I love this thing. Bang. Yeah, he's spinning. Anyway. Would you like to touch it? Yeah, of course. I've touched it before. I love this thing. This is my fifth wallet and Marmaduke has always made it with me

and the fact that Marmaduke and Heathcliff got together, of course they make sense. If and when Ben dies, we're setting that thing on fire. You can do whatever you want with it. I mean, I wish you would bury me with it. Setting it on fire. I don't know, man. Heathcliff, I don't think is as much of an underdog as you think

he is. He was on TV for eight years. He was condescending. He was like, before Maury Povich, there was Heathcliff. There was always kids who were just so... My older brother, for example, he got Jim Davis to autograph things. You couldn't email... You couldn't send a message to the creator of Heathcliff.

They would just send you back a bunch of human teeth. You couldn't email. You couldn't send a message to the creator of Heathcliff. They would just send you back a bunch of human teeth. They were bad people. He hated people. He was a crazy reckless. Yeah. He moved to the North Pole to be closer to the penguins,

he said. I am so, and I do believe this is a personality trait. If you are pro-Heathcliff, go to the Roundtable of Gentlemen Facebook page right now and announce why you're pro-Heathcliff.

And if you are pro-Garfield, you elitist scum go to the page as well. I just hate Mondays. Oh my god. I love lasagna. And that's fair. I'm not going to cut that out of the room. Look up the Bertha clips

from Garfield and it is some of the funniest shit ever. Bertha is such an amazing character. Kathy ever Bertha any day. That's amazing character. Kathy or Roberta any day. Well, that's a fact. Kathy, I do love Kathy. Well, you just are a Kathy. I love Kathy.

She likes cake. I like cake. Life is hard. Ooh, in Finland, Heathcliff is called Katimati. Cool. In France, he's called Isadore. Okay. And in Iceland, he's called Hogni Hrækviti.

That's right. Yeah. I think Iceland got it correct. Yeah. Oh, and in Mexico, he's called Picarro Hleksviti. That's right. Yeah. I think Iceland got it correct. Yeah. And Mexico is called Picarro el Gato. Ooh, fun cat. I think that translates to fun cat. And if anybody wants to learn more about Heathcliff, he's got a wonderful autobiography out, and it's called My Struggle.

I think it's a wonderful, wonderful autobiography. Also, before we keep going, Kitty Chinchilla, a big fan, I believe of Roundtable and Last Podcast and everything, says, cow versus the world, that's a username I believe, is Parker's cuck boy. I think she might have meant to say fuck boy or cock boy. No, cuck is a term. I like cuck boy. It's a thing. Yeah, cuck old, right?

He cuck olded me. Yeah. Right? To be made a fool by being cheated on. Yeah, that's it. It's a whole thing. It's about black guys banging wives. No, no, no.

It's a whole thing. I've been a cuckold. It's a loaded term. I've been made a cuckold before in my life. And she wants to know that everybody's- Sounds like the Bourne thing. I don't know what that is. Everybody knows it, and she's trying to get a little feud going.

So, Kitty, more power to you. Calvers the world. Ball's in your fucking court, buddy. Uh-oh. Is that it? That is round. This has been the longest ever segment of the PlayStation Network shoutouts. That took 20 minutes.

Thank God. We've got to fill the time. All right. Well, we always do our news stories here as well. I would like to do this news story. You want to do this one? Actually, me and Holden already talked about this news story for a good 20 minutes during rehearsal the other night. The longstanding tradition of the Jacksonville Suns minor league baseball team, which dates to 1962,

will undergo a major transformation next season when the franchise changes its name to the Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp. We are the Jumbo Shrimp, here to play a game. See, in my head, it's a bunch of marching Jumbo Shrimp, marching across the field, singing this song before each baseball game. We are the Jumbo Shrimp, here to play a game. And they're all really wet all the time. And at the end of it, they all just scream. And they throw cocktail sauce.

They throw cocktail sauce on everybody. And everyone says, please, please more. But they don't have arms. How do they hold the bat? We are the Jumbo Shrimp. Here to play a game. That sounds speedy. They're probably going to be better than the Jacksonville Suns.

Because they had the pussiest theme song. They played all over. Baseball's never been hotter. Jacksonville'ss because they had the pussiest theme song they played all over. Yeah. Baseball's never been hotter. Jacksonville's never been hotter. Baseball's never been hotter than the Jacksonville Suns. It's like a used car commercial. What the hell with it? The Jacksonville Suns, that's normal.

It's a good name. I can see it. I know what a Sun looks like. Yeah, but it's not wacky. The Suns isn't wacky like minor league baseball teams. Minor league baseball teams have wacky names. Yeah. So that's normal?

You don't feel like they're going to get laughed out of the minor league baseball stadium? Hell no, man. They're going to be playing against teams like the Pensacola Wahoos and the Montgomery Biscuits. Yeah, yeah. So if the Biscuits beat the Jumbo Shrimp in the World Series of the minor league, then what do they get? Gravy.

Gravy, yeah. There's also the Sheltonton Catholic Priests. Which is very interesting. A rip, rip, rip, the way through the game. Well, technically, Jackie, you get away with that because the priests do have a history that they need to atone for. You can say it there.

So that's it. Technically, you are more of an author in the film Spotlight. You are more of a journalist than a terrible person in that situation. I come out of Baston. Yeah. I never saw that movie. Too sad. How do you feel?

It was very sad. Good movie, though. Spotlight. Oh, it's great. Good movie. Mark Ruffalo, although he has a strange accent in it. Did you ever see it, Marcus? No.

His Boston accent is not Boston. Oh, really? It's just whatever he chose to do. You didn't see it? I did see it. I just didn't catch that. I'm not good with dialects, and all people from Boston to me just sound like people with mental deficiencies or sort of pieces of their brains missing. They just sound like the cops.

I always just put my hands up. Ooh, The Town. That's a good movie. We just naming movies now? The Town was way overrated. I loved The Town. That car chase was amazing. I don't know, that one car chase? Ben Affleck directed. What about Peggy Sue Got Married?

That's a beautiful movie. Let's talk about Peggy Sue. All right. Jim Carrey was in that movie briefly. I never saw it. I have a horrible admission to make. Never saw it. I never saw it.

The Heathcliff boys haven't seen it. Oh, my God. Is Heathcliff in it? Is Heathcliff in Peggy Sue Got Married, my God. Is Heathcliff in it? Is Heathcliff in Peggy Suga Mays? He's garbage. Heathcliff in that. Nick Cage is in the movie. Oh, I do love Nick Cage.

What's her name? Husky voice. Elizabeth Shue. Kathleen Turner. Kathleen Turner. What's her name? Husky voice. And Marcus knew Kathleen Turner.

Interesting. Isn't that you guys have been together for a long time? Yeah. We have been friends for a long time. But. We have been friends for a long time now. But you got that page seven brain. That's it. Yeah.

Here to plug the podcast, page seven about pop culture. You can catch it every week unless you're a geek. That's a good point. And if you're a geek, listen to Wizard and the Bruiser. Carl!

We are Jumbo Shrimp. Here to listen to a podcast. We have a guy that renamed the Jumbo Shrimp. His name is Ken Babby. I just feel like they're going to go back and wear those, you know, the old baseball caps, like the leather ones, because I just feel like Jumbo Shrimp look like little penises. I feel like, well, that's true, but I feel like you're thinking of football.

I don't think they ever wore leather caps in baseball. Yeah, but get hit in the head. I don't think the game changed that much. You don't get hit in the head. I don't think so. Might be baseball, the leather cap is in season. Did they wear leather caps in baseball. Yeah, but get hit in the head. I don't think the game changed that much. You don't get hit in the head. I don't think so. The leather cap is in season. Did they wear leather caps in baseball? I don't think they ever wore leather caps. No, I think it was

always a normal fabric cap. Yeah, you're definitely thinking of football. Yeah, but also girls used to play the game. Not a g-g-g-g-girl. They wore skirts and everything. We don't let girls on the jumbo shrimps. We're the jumbo shrimps. We're the jumbo shrimps. We are the jumbo shrimps. Oh man.

I want to be on the jumbo shrimps so badly. You can actually be on the jumbo shrimps. I think I could. I think I could squeak my way in there. You can be the catcher. You can be the pitcher. I was a catcher. There it is. Yeah, I got good thighs. Well, Babby said on Tuesday, this is a high energy, impactful, bold move. There's certainly

risk that goes along with it. There'll be feedback and I'm sure some resistance. We've been holding onto this for a while and look forward to sharing it with the community. The tradition of the Jacksonville Suns is entrenched in Northeast Florida. It's been known and loved. The passion for minor league baseball in Jacksonville doesn't change with the jumbo shrimp. It's just a new chapter in its evolution. To be honest.

I love it. I wasn't sold, but now I can see it. Jumbo shrimps are fun. Holden, you sold me. Marcus, you sold me. Jack, you sold me. I was in Jacksonville, and I had some motherfucking deep fried jumbo shrimp. Jumbo shrimp.

We are the jumbo shrimp. Hey, where are they? So it's sort of like old school Iraq where you murder the team if they lose and you deep fry them and eat them? Yes. Clored and strewn. Oh, man, they're going to serve so much hot, sweaty jumbo shrimp in just the middle of a Jacksonville summer. Just dripping with grease. Fried jumbo shrimp.

You want it shallow? You want it living? You want it squirming? Jumbo shrimp. You want it shallow? You want it living? You want it squirming? It's going to look like the scene from Stand By Me, the pie scene at some point.

Someone's going to start vomiting jumbo shrimp because someone didn't cook it right. The whole stadium's going to go up. In order to get a beer, you have to drink a cup of cocktail sauce. Well, that's kind of fun. It's brutal, Ben. What about the aioli? I feel like they're going to have a whole section where it's like cocktail sauce versus aioli. Aioli? Yeah, and everyone's got their hot, creamy drinks.

What's aioli? What's aioli? It's like a mayonnaise-based dip. Isn't mayonnaise? Jackie's knowledge of mayonnaise-based foods. God, do I love mayonnaise. A mayonnaise-based dip? Yeah, it's got like egg in it or something.

I don't know. It's like a garlic ai dip? Yeah, it's got like egg in it or something. I don't know. It's like a garlic aioli. Yeah, it's very Italian. Man. I know. Is this what your parents gave to your dog that made it so morbidly obese it died? Yeah, man. She would just slurp on it.

They would just put the aioli. They'd smatter it on the floor. And she would just pull her big fat body and go against the tile. Sometimes it would get on the carpet, and she loved it when it got on the carpet. Because then she would use her little teeth and go... It is like... This Jackie character can be misogynistic. Oh, my God.

Even a man-woman character. Women matter. Oh, man. Listen to some of these minor league baseball team names. They're beautiful. There's the Carolina Mudcats. I've heard of them. Uh- beautiful. There's the Carolina Mudcats. I've heard of them. There is the

Frederick Keys. Keys, like Jingle Jingle. The Clinton Lumber Kings. They're not just the Lumber Jacks. The Lumber Kings. My favorite though, the Batavia Muck Dogs. What the hell is a muck dog? That sounds racist.

There's no Heathcliff, though. They're an affiliate of the Miami Marlins. Their muck dogs are affiliated to the Marlins. Yeah, and they're here. They're actually in upstate New York. A muck dog is actually, I do remember that now. It is the name, what you call a confirmed kill in Vietnam. Man, I remember I had a Montgomery Biscuits shirt, though.

I don't think that's appropriate. Did you see the thing for the biscuits? It's like an actual biscuit with a tongue hanging out, and it's got two googly eyes on top. Really? Yeah. What does the shrimp logo look like, Marcus? Is it just a jumbo shrimp?

It's a really strong jumbo shrimp flying out of a big pot. It's awesome. Shrim jumbo shrimp flying out of a big pot. It's awesome. Like the shrimp's fighting back. It's really cool. All right, let me see if I can pull it up. I actually do love minor league sports in general because it's all the outside stuff that people go for, right? Because the game itself obviously isn't pro caliber yet.

It's not pro caliber, but it's still fun, you know? It's fun, but in order to have the fun, you've got to do the inside the game game. That's what they should do. They should have hot tubs, and if you come dressed as a shrimp, you can sit in the hot tub and watch the game. That's a great idea. Yeah, we actually, in Lubbock, we had a great one. The Lubbock Crickets. There they are.

Yeah, because that's where Buddy Holly's from, and Buddy Holly's backing band was the Crickets. So you named yourself after the backup band? Yeah. Waylon Jennings was in the Crickets, fucker. Why are you yelling at me, bro? Yeah, you fucker. Jesus. Waylon Jennings was in the Crickets, fucker. Why are you yelling at me, bro? Yeah, you fucker. Jesus. Waylon Jennings liked Heathcliff, by the way.

I know that for a fact. No. Yes, he did. He's a Heathcliff. Of course he is. Invented rock and roll. Waylon Jennings experimented with a lot of music. And drugs.

And drugs. And some drugs, yeah. And they drank a lot and they had a lot of fun. Big drinkers. Fast women. I want to be like that. I know, it was a different time. You could do that back then.

You could go crazy back in the day. I think we already do that. I don't know. I have been with a couple of fast women, and let me tell you, they're too quick. New York City Marathon. Oh, man, I want to root for the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs. The Iron Pigs, that's amazing. Yeah, that's Pennsylvania.

Allentown, Pennsylvania. Okay. So that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, there's the Rail Riders. Does Wisconsin have one? Let me see here. I mean, the Toledo Mudhens, they're pretty great. The Mexican League, nope, they're not in there.

I feel like mud is used a lot in these terms. Mud, mug, things like that. Wisconsin, I don't know. We don't have any minor league baseball team. I feel like mud is used a lot in these terms. Mud, muck, things like that. Wisconsin, I don't know. We don't have any minor league baseball team. We've got the brew crew, the brewers. That's just beer. Why don't we have a minor league team?

You've got the, out of Appleton, you've got the Wisconsin Timber Rattlers. A timber rattler? What is that? It's a tree snake. Tree snake. Yes. It's a tree that has little ratting balls on it, and you can hear when you get close to it. That's terrible. Yeah.

Yeah. The timber rat. I'm going to personally right now, Appleton, if you could change your name to the Appleton Heathcliffs, that would be great. Have you been to Appleton? Oh, many times. Skyline Comedy Club, a great comedy club. That's where I first started.

It was my first MC gig of all time. Wow. About 15 years ago. Yep. Appleton's a great town. Wait, is that the chili place? No, no, no. I thought you said Skyline. Skyline Comedy Club. Isn't Skyline chili? I never heard of Skyline. That's an Ohio thing. Skyline chili? What the hell are you talking about? It's the best Midwestern conversation I've ever

heard in my life. But what's Skyline chili? I think it's that chili. Right, Marcus? You heard of that chili? Skyline Chili? They put chili on spaghetti. I just know that it sounds so disgusting. It's not right. That's really gross, man. That's not Wisconsin. Wisconsin is Polish

and German and there's no Skyline Chili in Wisconsin. Sausages and cheese. We like our marinara and things like that. Yeah, aioli. Aioli. I don't know about that. Oh, and Sugar Land in Texas, they got one called the Sugar Land Skeeters. Oh. I don't.

That sounds like Texas. All right. Very exciting. Very exciting. So this person here that we were talking about with the jumbo shrimp. Mm-hmm. Jumbo shrimp. And what's their record, Marcus?

The jumbo shrimp actually do pretty good. They're good? Yeah. Yeah. Among the minor league baseball teams, the Jumbo Shrimp do all right. I mean, they're still the Suns as we speak at the moment. Right, right, right. I hope they have to wear little tails, little plastic tails. Can they bat with the tail?

If you have to bunt? If you bunt, a tail is probably good. And if you get out, you've got to get peeled in front of everybody. That's kind of embarrassing. That's kind of embarrassing. That's kind of sexy. Cubs win! Cubs win! Cubs win! Cubs win! That was amazing. That actually, honestly, I watched

that at a bar, and I was three beers in, and I decided I was a Cubs fan. I just went for the Cubs around the seventh inning, and once you commit to a team... I think a lot of people became a Cubs fan right around the seventh inning. I could have gone with the Indians, though, but I thought their logo was a little racist.

Just a little racist. So I decided to go with Cubs because I love Cubs. You know, the animal. And then, you know, Chicago has waited 108 years for this, and I know a lot of my friends are Chicago Cubs. Radio was not invented when they last won a series. was no guillermo

mccarney yet well what so how did they we don't even know what happened no what oh uh back when they won the world what was the communication then there's murder is legal news yeah newspapers newspapers and when was hh holmes's uh horror house uh 1880s okay 18, 1880s. So 1880s, maybe 1890s, actually, I think. Okay. What they would do is, in the center of every town, they would dress a small child up in a Cubs costume. They would dress another child up in whatever team at that

time, Yankees, whatever, like a little baseball player. And then whoever won, they would kill the other one. And that's how everybody in the town knew that the team won the World Series. The game really meant something back then, huh? A boy would be killed. Huh.

Interesting. Well, good thing they won it. Yeah. For that kid. And they did kill a boy in celebration at the Big Cup celebration. So either way, a boy dies. Oh, yeah. I mean, this time, because it's been so long.

Yeah. Strange. Cubs win. Cubs win. Cubs win, Jackie. Cubs win. Cubs win. Cubs win, Jackie. Cubs win. Harry Carey missed out, though. Harry Carey missed out on it.

Isn't that sad? Cubs win, Jackie. Cubs win. Is that a joke? What was the joke? Is that the hot dog? Is that the guy with the hot dog? What did he eat?

What did he eat? Did he eat herself? Was it that guy? Hi. That's Harry Carey. Hi. Hi. No, she's right. It's the Will Ferrell Hi. That's Harry Caray. Hi. Hi. No, she's right.

It's the Will Ferrell bit. I'm right. Yeah. Hi. Hi. Hi. If you were a hot dog, you'd never do that. No.

It's a famous SNL bit. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but Harry Caray never said it. Will Ferrell said it. That's Harry Caray. Yes. Yeah. Hi.

I just keep thinking about girls playing baseball. We are the members of the All-American. D-Goo come from San Isidro. We're here to play. We got Canadians. Oh, Irish ones and Swedes. We're all for one. We're one for all.

We're All-American. All right. Actually, I got a story right now that I think you'll like, Jackie. Is it American? No, actually, it's Canadian. Cubs win. Cubs win. And Jackie, Cubs win. Cubs win. Jackie, Cubs win.

They win. Well, if you're going to Lynn Lake in Canada, that's in Manitoba, I believe, you're going to be driving Tom Cochran's Life is a Highway all night long. What? Apparently, this small town in Canada renamed one of their roads specifically Tom Cochran's Life is on Highway. Okay, Marcus, first of all, can we play the full song on this episode?

We can't. No, we can't. Yeah, I don't know. I'm gonna ride it all night long. It's not Tom Cochran. There was a band that covered it in the 90s. I told you, Rascal Flatts covered it. No, it's not R Cochran. There was a band that covered it in the 90s. I told you, Rascal Flatts covered it. No, it's not Rascal Flatts.

That's why the road is specifically named Tom Cochran's Life is a Highway. It's not Rascal Flatts. There was another band that covered it. You're a Rascal Flatts lover, aren't you? And Tom Cochran actually came to the unveiling of the highway. He has to. He schlepped all the way to fucking Manitoba. He said, if you can be humbled

and flattered at the same time, I guess I'm a mixture of both. Is Tom Cochran Canadian? Yeah, this is the small town where he was born. Oh, see that's cute. And he moved away when he was four, but he's still appreciative. He's like a real dude right there. Yeah, he said, I'm really proud to have a lot of people who feel I've done Manitoba proud.

And then he played two songs and then left. Aw. Good for him. I mean, he has to. It better be. He has to. If he didn't play it, you imagine what they would do? They would rip him apart.

Well, there's a guy, Chris Ledoux, who also did it. Chris Ledoux. Okay, yeah. But that's not, I thought it was a different kind of band. What did you think? I thought it was, what was the name of that? You probably thought it was the Beatles, you fucking Heathcliff lover. Oh, leave me alone, okay?

It's been a hard day, it's been a hard way. I forgot the remix version. What's the name of that band, I Would Walk 500 Miles? The Proclaimers. The Proclaimers covered it. They did not. They did not. It's a similar theme, it. They did not. They did not. It's a similar theme, though.

It's roads. Yeah. And it's going down roads. But they don't have to be walking 500 miles down a road. In fact, they probably wouldn't. They'd probably take a shortcut across many roads and through forests. There's a lot of marathon. Life is a highway, so you're going faster than walking it.

Right. Yeah. Interesting. That's true. What do you do the next day? Well, you get to your destination and have a good time. Well, you ride it all night long, so what do we do in the next day here? You sleep.

All right. Uh-oh, yuck, yuck, jokester. Ben Kissel. I'm not even the yuck, yuck, jokester. And misogynist Jackie Zabrowski. Yay, women, huh? Good for tits. I don't approve.

It's going to be my new life slogan. Oh, man, I did see a great tattoo, and I thought of you, Kissel. Thank you. It was a big golden arches on someone's back, and it said, I'm always loving it. That is nice. I think that's something you should get. I should get that as a tattoo. Beer lover and arches.

The only tattoo, I was very close to getting beer lover tattooed. But I thankfully did not. Were you going to get the six pack? Like the top of a six pack of beer on your stomach? I was going to do it on my butt cheeks, Jackie. We've talked about this before. It's one of my That's why I'm so wise. I didn't do it. Isn't that good?

Heathcliff, Cubs win. Life is a highway. We are the Jumbo Swim here to play a game. It sounds very Native American. Yeah, but are they shrimp on horses, or are they being followed by pots? Shrimp on horses. Everybody, please stand for your shrimp on horses.

We are the Jumbo Shrimp, here to play a game. We are the Jumbo Dram, here to play a game. And then they set a bunch of eagles free that they had captured and tortured. They set an eagle free for every president who has died. I like that. Yes. Eighty-four. Eighty-four men and women.

We haven't had that many presidents, though. I think Ed forgot the combination. No, Ed's not coming. Ed is dead. Ed is dead. Yes. All right, so let's see here. So everything is working out just fine here.

Life is a highway. This guy has finally gotten the credit that he deserves. Finally. You know, in 2007, Alvin and the Chipmunks covered Life is a Highway for their video game Alvin and the Chipmunks. That's what I was thinking about. I love that video game. You love video games. And it later appeared in the 2011 video game, Alvin and the Chipmunks Chipwrecked. Oh, God, that's funny.

What about Road Chip? I gotta say, that is funny. Alvin and the Chipmunks Chipwrecked. No, Road Chip. Road Chip? That was the third movie, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Chipwrecked. No, Road Chip. Road Chip? That was the third movie. Elvin and the Chipmunks, Road Chip. I think Chipwrecked is funnier.

No, Chipwrecked was the third one. Was it? No, I'm talking about Road Chip is the third one. Road Chip, no. Or is that the third one? Is that the fourth one? How many are there? Life is Chip and then you die.

That's the seventh one. The second one is the Squeakquel. Oh, man, that's fun. Which is one of the most brilliant sequel names of all time. Damn. And Chipwrecked is the third one. Okay, so, yeah, Road Trip never happened. No, it's the fourth one.

Elvin and the Chipmunks, I have always been Team Theodore, always will be Team Theodore. I'm Team Theodore. Anyone who is not Team Theodore is a bad person. He's fine. Simon's the nerd, right? Simon is the nerd. I'm Simon. Simon is the unbelievably obnoxious wannabe leader.

Everyone knows Theodore led from behind. I agree with that. I'm a Dave guy. I'm a Simon guy. You can't be Dave. I'm going for Dave. That's the human, you fuck. No.

What is? Are you serious? I've never seen Ben Kislev war in rage. That's insane. Yeah, he's Dave. Dave gets them where they need to go. Dave isn't a chipmunk. Yeah, but he deals with them.

Yeah, Dave's the man to go on road chips. Or he doesn't get chipwrecked either. Yeah, he's the one driving the car. Yeah, he gets them where they need to go. He's like God, Ben. Are you not a God fan? You're probably like John, too. I love John. Garfield's John like John, too. I love John.

Garfield's John is pathetic and sad. I love Garfield's John. Another testament to Heathcliff. Heathcliff doesn't have a John. He doesn't have a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John.

He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John.

He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John.

He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John.

He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. He doesn't need a John. Garfield is about family and friendship. One of us.

One of us. Garfield is selfish, and he is polluting our environment. His ecological footprint is massive. He isn't relying on Big John to get through the day.

He is doing what he is consuming trash. He's going to rupture his intestines and then the shit's going to go all up into his body then he's going to finally be filled with trash the way his entire life has been trash. He's going to rupture his intestines, and then the shit's going to go all up into his body. Then he's going to finally be filled with trash the way his entire life has been trashed. You need to stop being such a classist. You're an elitist right now. Yeah.

Classist. Right now, it's about who has more, oh, money. I'm sure Garfield has more money, but you know what? Who has more crystal meth? Who has more strength? You know what I'm saying? In Zelda, there are three things. There is courage, power, and wisdom.

Heathcliff has courage and wisdom. And he doesn't have power. Garfield has the power. And he's like Ganondorf, later to be Ganon, the pig monster. You shoot him with the silver arrow. No one understands what you're talking about. I'm following it. Ganon, the pig monster. You shoot him with the silver arrow. No one understands what you're talking about. I'm following it. I don't know.

But either way, Heathcliff, he is the American dream personified. And I would vote Heathcliff every single day over Garfield. Next. He's the Obama of the... Sorry, you just got fucking nexted. MTV's nexted. You just got nexted. Oh, that was the worst heckle I ever got, actually.

Somebody just said, next. Next. Remember that? That is brutal. Yeah. Years ago. No, Steve was our friend Skulk the Hulking, who's been on many shows in the past. Check out Skulk the Hulking. You can buy his album on iTunes. Please do. And it's fun. It's great.

Whenever you're sincere, you just sound sarcastic. Please do. Do it. Yeah, he was at a show once. I was doing a bit, and then someone just said, next. That was the best tackle I've ever had. Steve loves telling that story.

Yeah, he does. He loves that story. Loves it. If there's someone new around that has never heard that story, Steve gets really excited and tells it within the first ten minutes of meeting him. I'm just happy that he's happy. Alright, what should we do now, Marcus? Let's do one more story. Okay.

Alright. Honestly, do you want to do an impromptu 24-hour marathon around Table of Gentlemen? I don't know. I could do this. Let's do one. This is just short. It's fun. Okay, we'll do one more. Alright. I'm calling it right now. If three people say yes to it, we'll do a 24-hour. I don't think you're going to get it.

I have got to use the restroom. But there's not enough people here for me to do it. I'm going to have to bring work to here. Is that fine? It'd be for charity. We could hook you up. We'll have a microphone on your lapel when you go into work. You can just do the whole show from there.

Oh, that's great. Yeah, they would love what I say at work. Yeah. You fucking Nazis. I'm sorry. Would you want a large or a small latte? That Jackie character. That misogynist.

Man, woman character. That's what she called him. She called her a man. Man slash woman character. No words to say about me. So I'm in the clear. But she said she hated me. She hates you.

No, she did say something about you. You were annoying, obnoxious and stuff like that. But I was annoying. Marcus, do you want to find the review? Where is it? It's on the round table page. Lupe posted it. He probably, I think he deleted it.

No, he did not delete it. It's still there. She said Marcus Parks had a rib removed so that he could suck his own dick. There was something like that. I mean, if she did say that, I mean, I wouldn't be opposed to it. I would like to hear what your ass would say if it could talk, Marcus. I'm sorry. So sorry.

Things are going fine down here. I'm perfectly happy with my station life. Sound like Josh Rogers. Oh, you know, things are good down here. We all love it. Shout out to Mushface Comics. Everybody

purchase a Mushface. I don't know if he sells his comics. So let's read this review. Yeah, it's the, uh, what is it? The, uh, name of the reviewer is Miss Ginger 58, and the title of the review is Troubled. Says these boys are very full of themselves, and that's only because their low self-esteem and little self-worth is currently fueled by a young, misguided fan base. Actually, I think most of our fans are in their 30s and 40s.

Relatively old. But the rest of that sentence was true. Yes. They do not know the difference between stupidity that solves and being responsible. This group throws a lot on the wall and runs with what sticks. The guy in the lead, the radio man, quote unquote, man is questionable. That's you.

That's you. He's radio man. He's the radio man. Oh, that's me? That's your radio man. Well, wait, that is debatable, actually, now that I think about it. Yeah, but then they talk about yuck, yuck, Ben Kiss. Oh, okay.

I think they're confusing me for Marcus and Marcus for me and me for Et. That's what I think is happening. Well, it says he is particularly delusional, only deriving his ability to fake it from the adoration of the misguided youth who follow him. That's a lot of words. I don't know what that means. Because it's like you're being

propelled by our many fans to say more horrible things. It's not true. Our youth is extremely guided. But also it's like just us in a room. It's extremely guided. But also, it's just us in a room. Yeah. Right. Anyway, it says the Jackie character is very loud, crass, and ill-timed. I don't know about the ill-timed.

You're always on time, in my opinion, Jackie. Always on time. She needs to chill out and stop with the over-the-top man-girl act. Isn't that? Now, that to me is so funny because that sucks us in itself that you are not, you are a feminine woman to me. You are a woman,

you are as feminist as anybody on the face of the planet. It says, take it for what it is if you can find humor in their misogynistic hubris. Even the woman is a misogynist and yes,

women can be misogynists. That's the worst, like that's like the worst thing you can say. It's like yeah of course. What are you fucking talking about? They profess to not be Trump supporters but I bet every one of them will vote Trump. There it is.

They just won't admit it so they don't lose listeners. I'll admit it right now. By the way Trump yeah people who have come out in support of Trump are doing better than ever. They're doing great. Look at Alex Jones. They work too hard to be all things to all people. That is a lot of flaw covering. The sexism and bigotry is slight and hidden, but it's there, especially exhibited by the

bad yuck yuck jokester, Ben. It's there. It's there. The sexist and racist. I tell all of you guys you're being sexist and racist. It's there. Bad yuck yuck jokester. Marcus, that doesn't make sense, right?

That does not make sense. Their ill-fated attempt at promoting third-party candidate Johnson was just silly and short-lived. Stick with what you actually know. That is of you actually know anything. We've never even talked about Gary Johnson

on this show, have we? Maybe one time? I think he talked about Garibar a show, have we? Maybe one time? I think you said that. I think you talked about Gary Bear a couple times. I think you said, I think I asked you who, I think, no, no, it was a shout out I did where somebody asked you to vote for and you said Gary Johnson. I am voting for Gary Johnson. Now we can point at the episode she listened to. I'm going to go home and listen to that episode and I'll decide whether she's right or wrong. Are you really going to listen to that episode?

So do you think, how many episodes do you think she listened to? Just the one. Just the one? I think 20 minutes of the one. Probably. Could be, could be. Just the one. And yeah, that's...

I'm the fuck. That's an early part of it. Ain't nobody hurt me. I got a tough candy shell. You call Matt me? Man, girl, I don't know what I got in between my fucking lips.

Well, I think it was the lack of education in the review. And, you know, was the lack of education in the review. It's obviously completely off base, as I would say. Maybe we'd be slipping. I don't think so. Maybe we'd be.

I think technically we're probably better than we ever have been. I'm a fighter. That's what everybody says about me. You just agreed with the critic. Wow. What's the critic's name? I just realized, yeah, she was talking about me. You just agreed with the critic. Wow. What's the critic's name? I just realized, yeah, she was talking about me because my Twitter bio says Radio Man.

So that means that she looked up my Twitter bio to find out more information about me to talk shit about me. At Holdenator's Ho. Check it out. Actually, she didn't say anything about you. Nothing. And nothing about Ed either. You're the most annoying. Ed is the yuck yuck man.

He's not here to defend himself. He's drunk like some dolphins. He's just the three of us that she really hates. I'm hateable. I understand. You're not hateable. You're very lovable. I'm a survivor.

I'm a local give up. Thank you everyone who left nice reviews on iTunes. It means a lot. And everyone is incredibly kind. And the funny thing is the reason that got posted is because it's so rare. You know, something negative like that. Yeah. Everyone, I mean, it's just, it's insane.

That's an insane person. I wouldn't be surprised if they're fans of another program and that program is having them attack us. I don't know what that program would be. I don't know. Yeah. I would agree. Sounds paranoid. I don't know. That sounds paranoid.. I don't know. Yeah. I would agree. Sounds paranoid. I don't know.

That sounds paranoid. I mean, I think people are chasing me. Well, that is true. Yeah. That's possible. Wait, no. Did you run the marathon this morning? I've got to go to the bathroom.

Can we just do the segment? Just have our segment. I'm in marathon shape. And speaking of marathon shape, we, Marcus Parks, multi-billionaire Marcus Parks, is running a marathon. You get to choose where it's going to be ran, if it's going to have a theme or something like that. I know mine will have a theme, so here's mine, Marcus Parks. We're going to have it.

It's going to be in New Zealand. Does New Zealand have volcanoes? No. We'll have to make one. It is a Lord of the Rings-themed marathon. It's going to be... Really, I want to start with the big finish, of the rings themed marathon okay it's gonna be the really i want to start with the big finish i'm so excited about it you got to run to the top of a volcano in order to finish the marathon you have to throw a golden ring into the flames of the volcano and in order to do so you have to fight off a guy dressed like gollum he'll be at the top of the of the volcano

you'll have to wrestle with him. Bonus points if you can get him into the volcano. Nice, right? But you don't have to. You don't have to. You just gotta get the ring in there and end it. But you are rewarded for murdering a man. Yes, you are rewarded for murdering a man

in the Marcus Parks Lord of the Rings themed marathon. So we'll have a lot of different special events set up, little stops along the way that are sort of themed with Lord of the Rings. You'll have to fight a guy dressed like Sauron. You'll have to fight a guy dressed like Sauron. You'll have to fight a guy dressed like Saruman. You'll have to fight a guy dressed like a tree elf. You'll go to Rivendell.

You'll have the meeting as quick as possible. Just quickly read the lines from the meeting where you all decide to go off. You can dress like any character you want to, you know, and we'll just kind of do it like that. There will be a giant man in a giant tree called a tree beard, and you have to climb up to the top of him and grab a ribbon in order to keep going. It's like little things like that, but it will be sort of like little moments of fun. I like it. All right.

Mine's called – well, let's see. Maybe we can call it Sausage Run. Either way, there are street carts all around the 26.1 miles that you have to run. I believe it's 26.1 miles. I don't know if that's true. And every, I'm going to say, 300 feet, you've got to consume either a beer, a Coca-Cola Classic, because I know you love Coca-Colas, or a hot dog, a hamburger, or a random shrimp. Okay.

And you have to continue on moving and moving and moving. You can never stop running, so hamburger, or a random shrimp. Okay. You have to continue on moving and moving and moving. You can never stop running, so you have to do everything on the go. By the end of it, we'll see if you're alive. What are you going? What are we eating here? Oh, my God. Hot dogs, hamburgers, shrimps. Sometimes I'll just throw a corn on the cob. Whatever. Whatever I

want to make. Whatever food cart. Maybe an empanada. I'd probably do the dog. No, you have to eat all of it. Oh, you have to eat all of it? Every single Yeah. Oh my god. So it's very tough. So it's sort of, you have to consume, consume, consume while running. And I think that would be difficult. Jagged?

Spin and jump marathon. It's going to be hosted by Ben Kissel. It's a no spin zone. Is it a no spin zone or is it a no jump zone? It's going to be hosted by Ben Kissel. It's a no-spin zone. Is it a no-spin zone or is it a no-jump zone? You're going to have to spin, spin, spin, jump, jump, jump. Spin, spin, spin. So it's going to be spinning for 30 seconds, jumping for 30 seconds, spinning for 30 seconds,

jumping for 30 seconds. Moving forward or just in place? No, almost like a carousel. Okay, so it's like a dance marathon. It's still a marathon. It's a dance marathon, but it's a different kind of marathon. It's a different kind of marathon. She's thinking outside the box here. So it's how long that you can withstand

it. I mean, I would say a Lord of the Rings themed marathon is a bit outside of the box. You fight a man at the top of a volcano. Jackie, please, go on. I'm a part of the outside of the box crew. I feel like Gizl will just do a really good job being one of those hosts of having to do it for hours and hours and hours.

You have a bunch of competitive people come in and they're allowed to eat and drink while they do it and people give it to them like in the New York Marathon. As they're doing it, people just run up

so they're jumping and they're trying to drink a beer just so they can keep their stamina going. Yeah, I'm like Ben Stiller's character in that movie

where he played a character like that. I find her attempted an alliance a little disgusting. This is Marcus. You have to go with Jackie. I've got to go. Sponsored by Red Bull. It's sponsored by Red Bull. Marcus, just give it to Jackie. Okay is Marcus. You have to go with Jackie. I've got to go. Sponsored by Red Bull.

It's sponsored by Red Bull. Marcus, just give it to Jackie. Okay, fine. You get it. I won. What? That's the round table. Tragic.

Because I don't like the two of you bickering. I didn't bicker. Big victory. Go to the round table on Facebook. Find Jack the Worm on Twitter. Holden McNeely. Follow Holden McNeely. Marcus Parks.

I'm Ben Kitzel. Jackie, you lost. I won. Marcus wants my marathon the most.en McNeely. Marcus Parks. I'm Ben Kitzel. Jackie, you lost. I won. Marcus wants my marathon the most. Good night, everybody. Good night. We love you guys very much. Thanks so much for listening.

We'll talk to you soon. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to cavecomedyradio.com.