The Roundtable of Gentlemen - Episode 315: Prison Casserole

Episode Date: February 3, 2017

The gang learns about a hamster who teaches kids a hard lesson, talks about favorite boy bands and cheesy snacks, and decides which day they'd like to re-live over and over.

The round table. Gentlemen. Aye. Let's broaden our minds. Lay out, gentlemen, and let them go watch what? Fire at will. It's time for action, gentlemen. Gentlemen of the hour.

What's the topic of discussion? Civility, gentlemen. Always civility. Who is praying today? Huge ass hair. Kissel is. Yeah. I have to pray?

Yeah. It's just us four? Yeah. Yeah. Huh. Get used to it. Me, Jackie, me and Marcus crushed it last week. I know.

It's so much fun. I heard all about it. I mean, it's going to get weird. There's going to be weird combinations. There's going to be a point where it's just like the three of us doing it. There's going to be points when, honestly, I feel like a point where it's just like the three of us doing it. There's going to be points when honestly I feel like there will come a time when it is just Marcus and I

in here doing it. And you know what? We're going to do it. We're getting fucking paid advertising money. Yeah. And we need to fucking do this fucking show. We're getting paid advertising money? I'm working on the details. Yeah, when is that happening? It's going to be really weird when it happens. We're not talking about this.

Are we talking about this? I don't know. Dear Lord, that is fine. Thanks for paying us advertising money. It is happening. There's no way it's not happening. Amen. I don't want to have a thing. Alright, this is the round table.

Although technically it's a square table. Right? Because there's four of us. We are legs. We are four legs. All right, this is the round table, although technically it's a square table, right? Because there's four of us. We are legs. We are all four legs. Oh, we are the square table. I think it was round table because there were six of us, which allows it to be more of an oval. This could be like a rhombus table.

A rhombus table. Okay, well, I guess depending on where people sit and stuff like that. I am very far away from everyone. You are. How you doing, Jackie? I'm just wondering why you got six beers and a fruity drink. It's not

for yourself. Well, it's really not like 45 minutes long. Well, I don't know. I got them for everybody. So everyone's right next to your feet. Well, I don't know. I mean, that's where I can reach. You can have as many as you want. Holden alerted me that he wasn't drinking today.

I was not privy to that information before I went to the bar. So I am technically, I got those for Holden as well. Did you? But you put them down by your feet. Well, yeah, I just put them down where I am at. After I said it. Yeah. It was after he said it.

After he said it. You'll notice that. Your haircut looks really good, Kissel. Thank you. I went to Hair Metal. It was a wonderful experience. The women are great, and theyissel. Thank you. I went to Hair Metal. It was a wonderful experience. The women are great, and they're artists. You and Henry.

And I love them. And Marcus goes to Hair Metal, too, in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Not anymore. Now I go to Tom Katz. Oh, yuck. Tom Katz is cute. I have an old Greek married couple cut my hair. It's 11 bucks, and I love it every time.

Do you just break into their apartment and force them to do it, or how does that work? Yeah, they're musicians actually. Oh, really? Yes. And I always interrupt their song while they're on stage, hand them scissors and say,

be my puppet. Puppet boy and puppet girl. Well, that sounds like a fun little thing to do during a show. Holdenators, ho! Get ready for long,

long, long, long dong PlayStation Network shout outs, guys. I'm Jackie Zabowski. Jackie wants to introduce herself really quick. She said whatever. I know, but now she doesn't feel like she did.

I never even said my name. I was too busy making fun of Kissel. She said words. Let's give her a nickname. The Worm. Isn't, what, another one for Jackie? Yeah, give me another one. Bill.

Okay. That is my father-in-law's name, but I will accept it. Thank you very much. I don't know if a nickname is supposed to be just a normal name, though. Hey, Bill, introduce yourself. I guess I'm here. I'm drinking vodka, and I am smiling. And the gimme boy.

Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. Give it to him, Kissel. Give it to him. Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. Give him what? Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. Do your Holdinator thing. Holdinators. Oh, time? Give me, give me, give me. Do your Holdinator thing. Holdinator's ho.

Time for your long, long, long PlayStation Network shout outs. Now, guys, I've been slipping lately. All right? I don't know if you noticed. Holding? I think it might be a drug issue. But. Are you on drugs now?

No. Maybe. Yes. What I have to say to you and you and you, and I pointed to the other people in this fucking room, there are three of them, is that I sat down and I got organized, taxi driver style. And I have a very, very upsettingly long list of PlayStation Network shoutouts. And the reason being is because people have really caught on. I have over 500 friends on PlayStation Network.

That's a lot. That's a lot. They still will refuse to play a game with me. A nice man from Arkansas played Titanfall 2 with me the other day, and that was fun. Did he win or lose? Was it a competition based game? I'm always last place in Titanfall

2. I am very bad at that game. Well, this is all you do, though. How are you so bad at it? Because when it's all you do, it's all you lose. True. He is right about that. My mother said that to me right before soccer practice every single day. That's a good point. And we were the losingest team.

So let's get through this, guys. I'm just going to go until you stop me, okay? Von Helsen says. Ooh, actually, that's over. That concludes PlayStation shout-outs. That has been your PlayStation Network shout-out. No, continue on. People really want to hear their names.

Okay, we don't do the whole thing. But you already did the intro. No, we're on name two. Von Helsing says, Manuel and Andre need to renew my PS Plus account if this gets on. Renew it, bitches. Stop. Victor Gianni says, prove to those meanies you got clout, son. Thank you, Victor. Seabass138 just straight up says, prove to those meanies you got clout, son. Thank you, Victor.

Seabass138 just straight up says, come daddies. Mandy, for Andrew Parker, special message. As you remember, Andrew sent a message to Mandy himself. It was very filthy. She says, you can sploosh my goosh anytime. Several eyes. Get ready for next weekend, cowboy, because a ton of splooshing is going to happen. Are you just the go-between for their disgusting sexual habits?

I love love. I want to sploosh. Someone sploosh in my goosh. Now, what is splooshing in a goosh? You have to ask. Oh, you know. Bird 420 Luger. It's flooding the bottom of the boat.

Oh, my goodness. Jello and things like that. I can't do that. I got too much toe fungus. Bird 420 Luger says, shut up. How about a 10-hour roundtable of Gentleman Marathon? Are you up to the task, you boil-brained gudgeons? Also, Marcus is the Demiurge of my small life now.

Yeah. Was that good? Let me look it up. Decrepit Whale says, Go shrimp. Hail Marcus. Ho. Huge. Huge anus.

1738 says, Ed is chill as shit. Holden is my fave reptilian. Love Jackie Squirty Bird. Ben will always be my flip-flopping Sasquatch. And I want Marcus to dig my grave. Fucking love you guys. Oh, that's very nice.

Stop. He was nice. Yeah, stop. Scooby Doo in 9-11 says, Fuck bit. No, that's very nice. Stop. He was nice. Yeah, stop. Scooby-Doo 9-11 says fuck bit. No, I'm just kidding. He says, as a reply to Tyler Ween's remark in the last episode, which was probably about five episodes ago, tell him

that I declare war on him in the PSN shoutouts, and that he's got a tiny penis, only suitable for the most gentle midget transsexual. Also, his mom is hot. Oh, damn. James says, hey. A little vulgar there, I thought.

James says, hey, will you give my wife Jenna a shout out for her birthday, which was probably several weeks ago? Feel free to call her a bitch. She'd love it coming from you. Jenna, you're a fucking bitch. Oh, we should have stopped this a long time ago. Stop.

Captain Hambone says Marcus Purse. Marcus says stop. That means stop. That is true. He can in the Pruser, by the way. Stop. Captain Hambone says Marcus Parks. Marcus says stop. That means stop. That is true. He can pull the plug on all of this, Olden. Captain Hambone says Marcus Parks is a charming skeleton, man. I would trust Dick McRaven. Oh, but now they're always.

Joel says, hey, can you ask Ben to follow me on Twitter? He's at the vilch. Will you follow him on Twitter? He's at the vilch. I don't know. All right, I'll follow him right now on Twitter. Can you follow him on Twitter? At the vilch. Will you follow him on Twitter? He's at the Vilch. I don't know. All right, I'll follow him right now on Twitter. Can you follow him on Twitter? At the Vilch.

No, he can't, though, because we all know that he puts his phone on airplane mode, so what he's doing right now is like, I took it off airplane mode. Oh, baby. Oh, it's off, baby. I took it off airplane mode. The Vilch? The Vilch. T-H-E-V-I-L-C-H.

See, and now you're dinging. No, I'm sorry. I'm going to find the Vilch. While he's doing that, MegatonHammer121 says, Tell Ed that he's fabulous and his voice makes the evil whispers go away. And tell Ben that he looks great in that shirt. If Jackie or Henry is there, tell them I'm thankful for their parents for having such weirdos as kids. The world would have far less giggles if they weren't around.

Also, Holden is the undisputed king of time and space. That's why we love him. Ho! That's been your PlayStation Network shout out. God, Holden is the undisputed king of time and space. That's why we love him. Ho! That's been your PlayStation Network shoutout. God, unlistenable. Is it Robodroll? Is that the vilch? At the T-H-E-V-I-L-C-H.

The vilch. That's it. He's following me, that's for sure. He said his name was Joel. Well, his Twitter thing is Robodroll. Robodroll. I don't know. Either way, I'm'Droll. Rob O'Droll. I don't know. Either way, I'm following him. He's been followed.

What is happening? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've been followed. The Vilch. All right, Jackie's got a shirt that says, Lookout Weekend, because here I come. And who's on that? It's Garfield. Yeah, but that's not Jim Davis approved Garfield.

He's drinking malt liquor and smoking a blunt. Yeah, he's smoking a blunt. Yeah, but that's not Jim Davis approved Garfield. He's drinking malt liquor and smoking a blunt. Yeah, he's smoking a blunt. Yeah, Henry got this for me for Christmas. And it's fucking ursum, sirsum. Well, I don't think that Garfield did the drugs. That's what Heathcliff does. Yeah, you fucking wish. No, I mean, honestly,

what greater addiction is there than food addiction? Kissel? Oh, absolutely. I drank three cans of soup today alone. You drank three cans of soup? No, I didn't drink them. Well, you drink the stuff. Yeah, you drink some of it.

It's soup. Wait, what kind of soup? What conversation did you just have with yourself? And also, you don't have a stove, so how did you make this soup? Microwave. Okay. Yeah, I miked the soup. You miked?

Wait. Yeah, of course. I got chicken vegetable Campbell's. No, we have an oven, but ovens love gas. You mic'd? Wait. Yeah, of course. You still don't have an oven? I got chicken vegetable Campbell's. No, we have an oven, but ovens love gas. We don't have gas. You still don't have gas, and you're never having gas. I'm not paying for it. We don't use it.

The microwave is fine. Until he moves into a new location, which will never happen. We could get gas. We just got to call the gas man to come, but I'm not an elitist like that. I'm a man of the people. You're probably going to pay thousands of dollars. come, but I'm not an elitist like that. I'm a man of the people. You're probably going to make me pay thousands of dollars. No, it's not that expensive. Three grown men live in an apartment, and how long have you not had a working stove?

Oh, it doesn't even matter. We've used that stove maybe, what, eight times in the 10 years that we lived together? Back when we used to make that cider. Yes. That cider with the rum, baby. I can make that cider in the microwave. That cider was disgusting. It was not disgusting.

You're out of your mind. Jackie, you are a toad right now. That's not right what you're saying. Cap'n Morgan spiced rum in that good-ass cider with the swizzle stick. That was the Ben Kissel special. You guys put about 20 cinnamon sticks in there, and that is not okay. You're the garbage woman. You're the garbage trash.

Oh, I'll take care of this. You're a garbage person. You are, with trash. Oh, I'll take care of this, Holden. You're a garbage person. You are, with your cinnamon, a syrup. Ridiculous. You put your breasts, you flip them upside down, and you still look at them now. I will, and I'll smile at my nipples, and I say, howdy-do. Well, that's a strange thing there. Make her stop cursing me.

You are fart trash. Well, that's a strange thing there. Make her stop cursing me. You are fart trash. You called Holden fart trash? Yeah, sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, that was a little bit fart, wasn't it? I'm sorry. Un-fucking-real. I didn't mean to say it.

He called you a garbage woman, and then you called him a fart trash. Yeah. So it's akin. Escalated quickly there, I thought. Let's have a push-up contest. Do it. Okay. By yourself. All rightated quickly there, I thought. Let's have push-up contests. Do it. Okay. By yourself.

All right. Jack, you just won. Wow. God, I'm good at it. You are great. It's just like when Michelle Obama and Ellen did one. Oh. That was great.

I've heard the show be compared to, they say, Roundtable of Gentlemen is like a conversation being held between Michelle Obama and Ellen. I bet. Yeah, something like that. Behind closed doors, you know, like what they're really like. If they were at gunpoint and forced to say all these things. Yeah.

You think they show their pussies to each other? I don't think that that happened. Okay, let's move on. So, Marcus, we have a news story. Uh-huh. A diet of corn is turning wild hamsters in northeastern France into deranged cannibals that devour their young. Kill them all.

Wait, what? Wait. Corn is doing this? A diet of corn. It's turning wild hamsters in northeastern France into deranged cannibals that devour their offspring. Corn the band? Yeah. Power to Bob.

The lead singer of corn showed his balls and his penis on MTV. Do you remember? He would wear the kilt and never wear underwear. And there was a cameraman who had the luckiest or least lucky position in the history of camera people, depending on his orientation. And on MTV, they showed his big old danglers and his weird nub. Why are there rampant hamsters in France? They have to have all the bugs.

They have hamsters in the wild. I mean, it's not like hamsters, you know, just suddenly started existing in people's homes. Hamsters were wild animals before they became domesticated. Kill them with the heel of your shoe. What? Gerard Baumgart, an expert on the European hamsters, said our hamster habitat is collapsing. Fine. That's fine.

How does a woman justify this in her head? A woman who is so beloved. Are you talking about me or are you talking about Kissel? I'm talking about you, Jackie. I identify as a woman. Okay. You coming out? No.

Bill, how can you even sit there and live with yourself? You are trash. Whoa. Okay. Stop cursing at me. Sorry. You know that I shut down once foul language is used. Sorry.

I apologize. Guys, how can you be so beloved with raccoons and so hateful, so straight up with a black heart, which is not racist, towards hamsters. These hamsters, their scientific name is cricketus cricketus. Exactly. Cricketus cricketus? There you go. Done. I hate hamsters.

They sound like a sick child. I hate hamsters. Cricketus cricketus. Well, what's wrong with the hamster? I like the hamsters. Nah, they're nothing. At least you can eat a guinea pig. You can eat a hamster. You can't eat a hamster. They're too small. No, you're nothing. I like them when they're hairless. At least you can eat a guinea pig. You know, like at least...

Oh, you can eat a hamster. You can't eat a hamster. They're too small. No, you can eat any marmot, any rodent, if you truly know how to skin it right. They are too small. There is no need for them, and all they are good for is dying in a cage.

Raccoons up into your trash. They are never put in the cage. Raccoons are not a caged animal Yeah that's true I love raccoons I mean that was The Great Outdoors Wonderful

They taught us How the raccoons speak And how the raccoons think I love that So yes I have had a A fascination And a total desire

To befriend a raccoon Ever since that film How do you feel about hamsters? I have no problem with hamsters. They just hang out on their wheel. I don't really know why anyone has them because I don't find them to be very fun, like a rabbit, per se. That's what I mean.

But I have no problem with them, though. No, they need an underground railroad. They need to be saved. They need a greater purpose. They run a lot for how tiny they are and fat. All they are are fat. Mm-hmm. Man, I found another

weird story about hamsters just from a couple years ago. Ooh. A teacher decided to give his pupils an extracurricular lesson recently by allegedly eating a live hamster

in front of them. Why? Well, and what was the lesson? This is how you do that? This is how you do that. Did she say that right before? Eat a hamster and take it down. This is how you do that. You should say that right before. Take the hamster and take it down.

This is how you do that. That's how I'm going to teach everyone because I'm becoming a science teacher very soon. You are. That's how I'm going to teach every class. This is how you do that. Grab the girl and kiss her out. Eat the hamster and I guess, well, you would say, I would say shit a lot if I wanted to rhyme.

Yeah, sure. You should teach a makeout class. I don't know. Why they don't do that. Who made that song? The Montel Jordan. Montel Jordan. Six foot seven.

He is. Yes, he rhymed about it. Wait. He literally rhymed about being six foot seven. So the guy that's saying this is how you do it is walking around as big as you are? Yeah. I bet he's- Just let him do that.

I bet he's got the biggest hog. We don't know. It's probably a pretty big hog, yeah. Maybe. Yeah. So maybe he has an actual pig. By the way, de Blasio is in my good graces all week. He saved Wilbur the Pig from Staten Island.

Mayor de Blasio. Mayor de Blasio. Everything is topsy-turvy, upside down. I don't know. Wait until tomorrow. Groundhog's Day. He might kill another groundhog. I know he's bad at Groundhog's Day. He did murder the last groundhog. Well, not the last one, but the last one before the last one.

What was the story with that? He dropped it and it died three days later. It was the best story that's ever happened. It was a little too wiggly for him, so he dropped it and it broke its back. Why does he have to hold it? Well, I don't know. It's his job.

Well, do you want the weather reporter not holding it? Yeah, the mayor picks it up and goes, look. And he kind of just shows it to the people and then puts it back down again. You're supposed to put it back down. Didn't it bite Bloomberg? It's something like that. It's a dangerous thing. I mean, I don't know how the Secret Service allows it to happen still, but yeah.

But now he did save Wilbur the pig from Staten Island. And I think the pig should be domesticated animals. Now, who is Wilbur the pig? Just an old pig. It was a pig that, for an old person, 73-year-old dude who has cancer, he says it's a therapy pig. And they were going to take the pig away because some stupid neighbor called the police. And they were going to steal the pig away from the person. But de Blasio said that's not happening under his watch.

That's good. That's good. The homeless are a problem. But Staten Island, Wilbur the pig is saved. This guy who ate the hamster, police are investigating the teacher identified only as you. Why you? Who reportedly gave the little rodent his grizzly end to show his pupils in his

South Korean classroom, quote, how deer life is. Well, that's a strange way to go about teaching that lesson, huh? Also, if you're going to say how deer life is, do it to a deer. That's a good point. Or maybe put little gloves on the hamster

and make it look like a boxer. Like Bambi be damned. Yeah. Well, the kids were teasing the hamster, so to teach them a lesson, he ate it alive. So if you're the hamster, you can deal with the teasing. But it's more going into that human cage full of teeth. Yes. He said, I couldn't control the situation and couldn't stand it.

While watching the hamsters die from teasing, I thought I should teach the children it was wrong to make light of life. The man is mentally unstable. What's going to happen if he has a kid and people are making fun of him? Is he going to bite his head off? This will teach the kids not to bully my child. I'm going to eat his damn fucking brains. Have at. Good luck.

How are we eating brains? Are we marbling them? No, you don't marble them. I ate really bad, poorly prepared lamb brains. You ate bad brains? You ate bad brains. Yeah, I ate bad brains. It was bad.

It wasn't good. Was it insane in it? It was insane in your lamb and brain thank you very much no they were lamb brains but they were not prepared properly how do you prepare them properly I'm not that way I don't know anything about these things I was with Henry with some fancy restaurants like fancy restaurants that's your problem you're going and eating dinner with Henry. You should never eat dinner with Henry. And that's fine. I'm down to be adventurous. He's changing.

And then he bit into it, and he's like, this doesn't usually taste like this. And then I bit into it. We were at least three bottles of wine deep, and I almost threw up on the table. Gelatinous, chunky, fatty, awful. Yeah, it's brains. Yeah, that's exactly what brains

are supposed to taste like, and that's what the consistency is. I guess that's not how you're supposed to prepare it, though. You're supposed to, like, fry it or do something else with it. That was, like, my experience. Lex and I went to a French restaurant,

and we ordered these kumballs, and it was just like... What was in that? Well, welcome to our lives, Alden. Le kumbo, le kumbo. And I was like, I guess I'll have it. Is that a snail? What is that? Oh, le gumball. And he was laughing.

Laughing at me, right? So I was like, fine, I'll eat your fucking cum balls. And they showed up and they were off-white. What was in it? I think it was cum. I think it was male cum. You gotta send that back.

Cum for me man. Cum for me bull. Cum for me hoss. Cum for me ghoul. And there was this kinky ghoul in the room. It's the ghoul coming. He was playing like with the little, what was the wooden sticks? Maracas. He was playing maracas.

And I was like, wow, that's the fastest maraca playing ghoul I've ever seen in my life. I would assign you to a fucking four record deal. And the ghouls already have a four-record deal. Of course you can trust them. Who is the four-record deal with? Atlantic. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Unreal. Predatory. Predatory. Unreal. Horrible. I ate the rest of the cup. Yeah, they only do hip-hop. Well, then hip-hop is a very successful genre.

It's big right now. All the kids are listening to it. They like Big Man 69. Yeah, and Tiny Top Hats. Tiny Top Hats. Oh, man. Tiny motherfucking Top Hats in my motherfucking bitch. I shove them in my bitch.

Over and over and over and over in my fucking fat woman bitch. Why are my hats so small, bitch? Why are my hats so small? I? Why are my hats so small? I don't know why they're so small. Okay, that's cultural appropriation. You being here is just like, you're really like taking the fun out of us. No, you guys can do it. That's just, it's cultural appropriation.

Do your rap. I'm sauntering snake man. Here to tell my tale. You're as tiny as a ghoul. You're as big as a whale. Yeah, that's how you break up with somebody. You have him come in and have him break up with somebody for you. Oh, my goodness.

Yeah, we've had, you know what? We've had a lot of times on this show. Yeah. And it really makes me look back, think about all the memories. It's that time. Is this the makes me look back, think about all the memories, that time. Is this the last episode? Yeah, I think so. This is the last episode?

We'll replay this one at the end. We'll play this one again as a rerun for our last episode instead of actually doing a last episode. Okay. Yeah. All right. Remember PlayStation Network shout-outs? From the beginning of this episode?

Yeah. Yeah, I remember those. Long. Yeah. Good stuff, though. Good interaction. What's wrong with you, Jackie? I was just thinking about Arrival and how it was a lot sadder than I thought it was going to be.

It was very sad. I enjoyed Arrival. What are we saying right now? You know what was great? Jackie. That's my name. That's your name. What? Jackie is awesome,

by the way. Thank you very much. I try really hard. The woman is also awesome. The woman is also awesome. I work on my fashion. My husband is fucking dead. Put me in the White House. I love a hat. That's it. That's my name.

That's the whole movie, right? That's the remake called That's My it. That's my name. That's the whole movie. That's the whole movie. Right? Yeah, that's the remake called That's My Name. That's my name. I'll never watch that fucking movie. No, no. Because it's not my name. Nat Portonk, which is her Hollywood nickname. She's a Jew and everyone knows that Jackie wasn't a Jew.

She's a big time Jew. What? What is wrong with you, Jackie. She's a big time Jew. What? What is wrong with you, Jackie? She's like big, big. I'm not saying it in a bad way. I'm Japanese. I wish I was. Are you Japanese?

Yes. If you please. All right. Well, let's not get into some cat talk here. That was Siamese. No, no, no, no. That's just quoting a beloved Disney movie. What Disney movie?

Lady and the Tramp. We are Siamese if you don't please. And if you please. They sang it both ways. Took a gun and they shot Bambi's mom right in her fucking dumb face. No, no, Bambi was a boy. Oh, really? Yes, he becomes a buck.

Oh. Yeah, the girl's name is like Lorna or something. No one knows that about Bambi. What is it? It's like Sniffy and Batoonies. Right? No, Feline. Bambi and Feline?

Feline. Or maybe is it Feline or Folline? I don't know. Feline. Feline sounds like a more masculine name than Bambi. Bambi on a Felina. A Felina. They really did mess up the branding.

I always thought Bambi was a girl until very recently. It was those eyelashes. Yeah, right? Just because something has eyelashes doesn't, you have eyelashes. Yes. But Bambi, the name is a feminine name. No. I think so.

Unless it was Bamba, then that would be feminine. Bambi is a feminine name. Bamba. think so. Unless it was Bambaw, then that would be feminine. Bambi is a feminine name. Am I wrong? Yeah, it's got the I on it. Yes. If his name was Bambo, then we would have... Yeah, Bambo, that's an old man. Bambo needs to come out.

Bambo survives in the fucking wilderness with his red bandana fucking rocking Bambo. Bambo needs to come out and find the people who killed his mother and take them down. Big machine guns. That would have been so much better than Bambi. Do you remember when we watched Rambo 4 together?

Those are my favorite memories. Rambo 4. Now which one is that? The baby gets thrown into the fire? Holy hell, the newest Rambo. Yeah, it's unbelievable.

Oh my God. Well, I love the Sylvester Stallone all just, what is it, the human growth hormone. He is amazing looking right now. Yeah, I agree. That's my favorite Ram growth hormone. He is amazing looking right now.

Yeah, I agree. That's my favorite Rambo. He's not amazing looking right now. He was amazing. Well, he still looks pretty good. You know, he's very short. I know he's short, but have you looked at his face recently? Are you saying you would not sit in a hot tub with Sylvester Stallone?

Hands down. I'm not saying I wouldn't bang him. I don't have very high standards. He's not short. He's 5'10". No don't have very high standards. He's not short. He's 5'10". No, he's smaller than that. That's a lie. You're thinking of Tom Cruise.

No, I'm not. You're thinking of Tom Hanks. No, I'm not. Tom Hanks is 6'2". Thinking Arnold Schwarzenegger. He's about 5'8". Well, either way. The wax figure portraying him is 5'7".

No, that's not okay. And then you can imagine how it melts. But no, no, he's about 5'5", tops. Yeah, that's sly for you. You can't lie about a 5-inch height difference. Yes, you can. 5'5"? Nothing is real.

Nothing's real. People are going to notice if he walks up and he's 5'5". I've been watching the WWE Network solid for three days because I bought it. And they often say, thank you, they say that The Undertaker is seven feet tall in the beginning and then at the end they say he's six foot ten. But that has nothing to do with Sylvester Stallone. Well, they probably lied about him too. Oh, but he wasn't on the WWE.

He wasn't in the WWE, not at that time. You excited about the Royal Rumble? I saw it. Oh, yeah? Yeah, they threw everyone over the top rope. They all hit the ground. It was exciting. Man, I would still have sex

with The Undertaker hard. Whoa, you don't want to. I watched the new Royal Rumble and he looks like, what did I say? It was like if Alex Cooper and Marilyn Manson had a teenage child together.

Great. That's what he looks like. He's like chubby and then he's got really long stringy hair. He looks like he's been a professional wrestler for 30 years. I can't believe he's still in the game. Well, he's really not.

He just kind of turns the lights off to mess with people, and then they come back. Wait, does he still have the... Paul Bearer is way dead. He's gone. Yeah, Paul Bearer died like 20 years ago. No, not 20. Like two years ago of morbid obesity. I thought he died a lot longer ago.

No, well, technically he's always been dead this whole time, but so is The Undertaker. I mean, let's get into some antics here. Yeah. You know. No, Paul Bearer just died. But I'll tell you, this WWE Network is the best thing that's ever happened. I don't think it is. Do it.

$10 a month for all the entertainment you could ever need. You could ever possibly want, Jackie. Exactly. So you don't have a working stove. No. But you are paying to get the WWE Network. Yes. Yes.

You don't need a stove if you don't use the gas. There's no one else that's on my side with this. You make a tiny room in the oven and lease it out. I've been trying to do that. You know, I kind of agree with Ben on this one. He's not going to use it. Why should he pay for it? But, Kessel, what do you eat?

That's what I don't understand. Soup. You never make your own food? I eat beef jerky and soup, and sometimes I'll put the beef jerky in the soup. You microwave that. You've got yourself a good, you know, a prison casserole. It's not bad.

You should watch the videos on prison burritos. Oh, my God. I've wanted to make one before. Fancy prison cuisine is amazing. When everyone gets their commissary and they come together for one large epic meal, it's all snowballs and a whole series of possible burritos. And then kiss it back into his mouth? No.

Prison burritos are a whole cuisine in its own, and I've almost made them a few times. Oh, yeah. Because you make them inside of a Doritos bag, so you get Fritos, you get Doritos, you make the crust of the burrito, you put ramen noodles on the inside of it, and you cut up, like, the cheese you get at the commissary,

you put that in, it's all a bunch of, like, boiling water in it, and then you, like, roll it up inside of a bag, like a chip bag. Yeah, we've watched the exact same Lock Up Raw episode. I love that show. The beef stick is optional, apparently. Oh, yeah, you don't need it. Yeah, for the prison burrito.

You could do just the noodles and the Doritos if you want to go vegan. Oh, well, but, I mean, who wants to go vegan in jail? They're treating you worse than an animal. You might as well eat some. I kind of want to eat a prison burrito. Oh, well, but I mean, who wants to go vegan in jail? They're treating you worse than an animal. You might as well eat some. I kind of want to eat a prison burrito. Oh, absolutely. I would love to go there for prison burrito day or the dessert thing that they make, which is just the cakes full of all the worst junk food that's possible.

I think we can make it outside of prison, though. Oh, yeah. A prison omelet is when you take your worst dookies from the week and you fold them into underwear. Oh, yeah. And that's a prison omelet? Yeah. Well, then no one wants to eat that, I don't think. Hopefully you can get some sriracha at commissary.

Am I right? Guys? Salt and pepper. I don't know. They're always very wild. So all the gerbils are dead. Hamsters. Hamsters and gerbils are the same.

Hamsters, and they're eating their young. But let's move on to something different. All right. Let's move on to a tiger attack. Oh. Well, that's not very good. Holden, what do you think about the tiger attack? His mouth is full of Oreos.

Yeah, why did you eat all of these Oreos? There's three empty Dozer Rice Krispy Treats. These are three empty. I haven't eaten since lunch. This is an Oreo and two Krispy Treats. He's also not drinking. He has to get the calories somehow. What the heck happened?

I'm starving. I haven't eaten since lunch. We'll have a take five, which is also on the table. What show was in here before us? The Wizard of the Brewers. Of course it was. I love how your answer was nerd. Oh, I mean Wizard of the Brewers.

That's because. Because they're Brute. That's because. You guys are nerds. That's why. Nerds love snacks. Nerd fucks. Nerd fuckers for. You guys, you and Jake Young bring candy into the studio. Jake works at a place that has one of those fun candy rooms, and he brings us a lot of fun.

Fun. By the way, the word is fun. Snacks. Super fun snacks. Look at these negative Nancys. Look the way, the word is fun. Snacks. Super fun snacks. Look at these negative Nancys. Look at these negative Bill and negative Ben. I thought it was a funny time for you to eat a whole series of candies. I'm just upset because I wish there were some Cheez-Its.

Sometimes there are Cheez-Its. Sometimes there are Cheez-Its. I would like a Cheez-Its. Today, I had a Kit Kat, a little single serving of Oreos, and a Rice Krispie treat. Cheez-Its are perfect because they allow you to, you know, fill the void. I love snacks with holes in them or dips. Yeah. Then you can really fill them up.

And you know what can go fuck itself? What? Cheese nips. Yeah. I've had a cheese nip. Yeah, I've had a cheese nip. It's like a knockoff brand. Vafangul.

Cheese nips. Whoa. What the hell? Whoa. What on earth? Yeah, you know, I know all about it You say Leifangul

No Vafangul Vafangul Vafangul Like Bills or something Vafagule Like that Vafangul

Yeah Like how my mother says Amuse Oh no I'm gonna make some lasagna But I have to get some Amuse To put on top of it.

So I said, to cheese nips. Well, what's the difference between the nip and the cheese it? Cheese nips taste like plastic bullshit. Tastes like Garfield. Cheese its tastes like Keith's. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, interesting. Holden makes Heathcliff. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, interesting. Holden makes a good point.

No, no, no, no, no, no. If there is one thing Garfield does eat, it's cheese its. Garfield eats anything. No, no, he doesn't just eat anything. No, he's very discerning. No, he's not. Yeah. The whole gag was that he would eat anything.

No, that he would eat a lot of lasagna. And other things. And other things. And other things. Oh, yeah. I will never eat another fucking thing in the car. No, he sometimes eats pie. It's Heathcliff that eats everything. Every single picture that you see of him, he's just eating fish bones.

Bone fish. Fish bones. He eats bones, which is disgusting. He's a pescatarian. Marcus should love that. I don't eat bones. Oh, my God. Eating bones is beneath a human.

It is beneath a cat. Well, there's no nutrition. I love that. I don't eat bones. Eating bones is beneath a human and it's beneath a cat. There's no nutrition. And sometimes Garfield does cut a slice of pie out of the pie and eat the rest of the pie. At least we'll leave the one slice. He does do that. He does. He's just the one.

Would you laugh? If that happened to you, you'd be so pissed off. It's too much pie for a human, much less a cat. He's got such a small mouth. Can you imagine how long it takes him to eat it? Well, not very long. We've seen him do it. It's a confusing world we live in. It would take a cat to eat a whole pie.

Can you imagine? Can you imagine? This is what I'm thinking about right now. It's just making me laugh so much. It's zany. The concept is zany. Cats can eat very quickly. No, they can't.

You know what? When you die, Garfield's eating you. That's the other thing about cats. No. Cats eat you. He's eating you too. Nah, he's eating you good. If he's eating fish bones, he's going to be eating on your back.

I don't like the way you're saying the word bones. I'm saying it the way you say it. What's the difference between that and bone marrow? I think he's a classy cat. No, the bone marrow's on the inside. You don't nosh on the bone. You have to bite through the bone to get to it, I think. No, you got to scoop.

That's why they give you the tiny spoon when you order bone marrow, and you go and you scoop it out. Not a big fan of bone marrow anyway. No. I mean, it's meat. Yeah, thank you. Because everybody's like, Henry is always like. Oh, just Henry.

And just Jack. Oh, I could drink a cup of it. I don't say I could drink a cup. I can have maybe a half a cracker full and that's it. I had a taste of it and my my whole botch was like about to faint. I was so disgusted by what I had. Yeah, it's meat butter. I don't know.

Well, either way, it's good to use every part of the animal. See, there you go. Look at you. Except for hamsters. They can all just die and put them on the fucking shit. I guess they're all getting eaten by teachers anyways. Who cares? In Italian, cheese nips is colpi di formaggio.

That is far too classy for a cheese nip. I hate cheese nips. Well, what's the difference between a cheese it and a cheese it? Why don't you go out and try it? I've tried both of them. Jackie, I've tried both of them. I can't taste the difference. You do it back to back, nip to it, you will see a difference.

Cheese nips are thinner. They're more paper-like. There's not much substance to them. Cheese-its are thicker. They've got more of a, you know, they've got more weight. Oh, I know what you're talking about. More of a cracker weight. And the other one is-

Now I'm picturing the nip. Yes, and cheese nips- Cracker weight versus paper weight. Oh, different weights. And they're almost plastic in taste. Yes. And cheese nips. Cracker weight versus paper weight. Oh, different weights. And they're almost plastic in taste. Cheese it or nips. Cheese it or goldfish. Goldfish.

Yeah, goldfish. Fuck yeah. Now we're talking the same language. This is the first time I've agreed with this table. What? Goldfish. Wow. Goldfish don't taste anything like fish.

And they're not gold. They're orange. So they're actually liars. Goldfish are liars. They are, yeah. Yeah, but do you prefer that to a cheese it? I take a cheese it because it's a cheese it. And it identifies as an it, and it is an it.

A gold fish is not gold nor a fish. Yeah, but cheese it spells cheese with a Z. That's not truthful. Well, it's not real cheese. Fuck. Yes. I will claim a victory, a small victory, but I'm claiming a victory on my Cheez-It versus Goldfish conversation.

Goldfish are in the shape of goldfish, and they are smiling. Are they? Well, they are. Oh, yeah, they're smiling. I see them too fast to find out. You get those extra cheesy ones, too, and you get the cheese dust of a Cheeto? Anything that is so cocky that it doesn't require a dip or even suggest that it should be dipped. It needs no friends to be successful.

I think it's a liar and a lonely, old, grumpy bastard. You know what I've been really getting into with dips lately is Thousand Island Dressing. Been eating it on everything. Dude, when I was a kid. Just been sitting there with crackers and Thousand Island Dressing all night long. Well, that might be too far.

You should at least have some sauerkraut on the chip and then dip that. Well, that's the thing, is that I have a lot of Reuben's sandwiches. I eat like four Reubens a week. Okay. Reuben's sandwiches, I think they're the best sandwiches

on the face of the planet. They are. It's my favorite sandwich by far. It's just because you just recently moved into a Polish neighborhood. No, Reuben's are not Polish. I know they're not Polish, but sauerkraut is Polish. What is happening to you? And that neighborhood has the best sauerkraut

of all time. It's great sauerkraut, but so far, I have not found a Reuben in the neighborhood that is up to my standards. Surprisingly difficult to find a good Reuben. Surprisingly. Honey, I think we are about to have a conversation after this show. Wait, what? Well, why don't you just have it on the show?

We're talking about nothing anyway. Where do you get a good Reuben? Yeah, where do you get a good Reuben? For anybody who lives in or around Greenpoint. No, but that's not fair, because then I'm just tantalizing them with good Reubens. Oh, people know what good Reubens are. Oh, dude, declare.

A little bit, I'll be a talking ball. Dude, declare. What we better be talking about. I forgot we have a southern belle in the audience here. Oh, it's just me, Mariqui. Delonda. Mariqui Delonda Delilah. That's right. My husband is a very famous shoe shiner. Ooh, I better get him over here,

because I got some creams that need a darkening. Ooh, you'll never get past me. He loves my vagina lips. They're the biggest damn curtains he's ever lippy lapped up. Oh, are they more of the roast beef variety, or maybe a tuna fish? Salmon!

Oh, I can't even compete with salmon. No, absolutely not. I had a trout last night. Very tasty. Why? Yeah, very good. They served it. Bones or no bones? No bones. Look at you eating. We just asked him what he eats eats and he didn't say trout.

I go out to dinner. I get a trout. You go out to dinner every night? Basically. Basically, I do. I can't even comprehend it. I had a dog named Trout.

Really? Well, how confusing. A hot dog? No. This is why you like goldfish so much. You don't mind liars. Yeah, a real dog.

His name is Trout. He was the best dog I ever had. Oh, damn. God don't mind liars. Yeah, a real dog. His name is Trout. He was the best dog I ever had. Oh, damn. God, I love goldfish. Yeah, me too. Maybe we should get some in here sometime. Why don't we have them in here right now? Well, there's a Take Five, which I never heard of before.

You've never heard of Take Five? It's a mishmash. I know there was, it sounds like that band that, Take Five? Maroon Five? No, no, it was a British band. The Dave Brubeck album. Beatles. No, no, no, no.

I think it's the Beatles. No, the British band. Yeah, that's the Beatles. No, no, no, not that one. The one with Robbie Coldplay. Shankar. No. Living is easy with eyes closed.

Take five, Marcus. Robbie Robertson, Robbie Williamson. Robbie Williamson? Robbie Robertson is in the band. Robbie Williamson in the band. Take five. The band, take five. The band, yes.

Are you talking about the band? Because that is a band. The band is pretty great. They play with Bob Dylan. Can you find take five? I'm going to get my phone off the airplane. I'm going to get my phone off the airplane. Take five was an American boy band from Orlando.

It was a different band than Take Five. Kissel, sounds like you are in. Uh-oh. Jackie, favorite boy band? NSYNC. Well, yeah. Well, that's insane. Here's the members of Take 5.

There's the Goodell brothers, Ryan and Jeff. So that doesn't even count for one person. That's one person. It's Take 4. Then there's Tilky Jones. Kissel, you love Tilky Jones. Who doesn't love Tilky Jones? Sounds like he's made of a fun little powder or something.

There's TJ Christopher. He's a good guy. And Stevie Skullthorpe. Wait, is this the same band that sang The Hardest Part of Breaking Up is Getting Back Your Stuff? Remember they had the Chris Farley... The Hardest Part of Breaking Up is Getting Back Your Stuff. They had like a Chris Farley-esque person in the band.

I will say... Oh, it was called Take That. Take That. God. I will say if my name was Tilky Jones and I was about to have sex with a woman, I'd go, I'm Tilky Jones and it's time to milk me bones. Oh, I like that. See, I would say more of like, it's time to tilt me out of me pants.

And I would more go that route. Well, what would make you wetter, Ben? Yours, Holden. Thank you. What? I'm sorry, Holden. Tilt me bones? Well, no, because it rhymes.

I'm tilky whatever. Tilky Jones. Yeah, I want a milky. And it's time to milk me bones. You just heard me say it. How are you forgetting it? Yeah, it does Milky. And it's time to milk me bones. You just heard me say it. How are you forgetting it? Yeah, it does rhyme. And yours did not rhyme.

You just said, tilt me out of my pants. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of fun. It is kind of fun. But then I thought Holden's was really fun. Even though it doesn't rhyme, it also makes no sense. No, because you've got to take him out of his pants. Like, his penis.

Yeah, but tilt means take. And you might as well say, take me. Milky, milk me. I mean, it's closest to work. I'm upset. Marcus, I'm upset. I'm sorry. Maybe Tilky Jones can come and make you feel better.

I hope he can. How old is he, 16? 35. Two poles for me. When did this band form? Like 97. Oh, okay. Yeah, they were a part of the wave.

Actually, I do have to take it back, they were a part of the wave. Actually, you know, I do have to take it back. Yeah, they were a part of the Orlando wave. Like 97, all those Orlando boy bands. Yeah. I said NSYNC, what I really meant was 98 Degrees. I was going to say 98 Degrees. I really wasn't. I was wondering.

I was like, you didn't seem like an NSYNC guy. I did go to see NSYNC. Well, everyone has to go see NSYNC every now and again. O-Town was also, that was the media creation for MTV. I mean, they all were, but they were all, there was all Perlman. Lou Perlman. Yeah, Tilky Jones definitely got milkied. They were a Lou Perlman band.

Oh, yes. I mean, Lou Perlman, when he passed away, I got into a fight with a Hollywood reporter on Twitter, being like, Lou Perlman, complex, interesting person. I'm like, he was a pedophile. Nothing complex about it. Wait, was B.B. Mac a part of the Lou Pearlman thing as well? B.B. Mac? Yeah.

I'm not sure. Oh, that was a boy band? Yeah. No, I don't think B.B. Mac was a boy band. B.B. Mac was a boy band, but I don't know if they were. What are we calling boy bands? British. No, they were English.

Okay, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they weren't a part. B.B. Mac, it was for Barry Burns and McNally. What about LFO? Let's not forget LFO. Laugh at my fucking off-ass. Yes. I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch.

I was kind of co-signed by that brand there. God, I had all those dudes cut out and pasted on my journals. It was a bad time for music. And they all looked so gay. Am I allowed to say that anymore? It's Trump's America. I can say whatever I want. Yeah.

You can. They look like well-known homosexuals. Yes. Well, many of them were. Many of them were. You sound like you're in, like, what is it? Hell or High Water? Hell or High Water is one of

the best movies of last year, by the way. Ben Foster, god damn it! Oh, I haven't seen it. Oh, you've got to check it out. You know what's good is that Jackie. That's my name! I thought your name was Billy. That's my name! Everybody!

Yeah! That's my name. Everybody. Yeah. That's my name. Let's bukkake. That was the secret Lou Pearlman version, I guess. God, he raped those kids. It's possible. You guys should be called Measure Your Penis Boys. We'll stick within sync.

We'll stick within sync. Kind of makes sense musically, I guess. Maybe Measure My Penisise would be good. Cheese nips go to hell. Just try it on for a size. You can't curse an inanimate object to hell. Cheese nips. Yeah.

Mmm. Good. Corpe de fromaggio. Corpe de fromaggio. What movie is good is that Jackie. That's my thing. Oh, we got it. We got it.

Good Lord. Great movie. WWE Network. Check it out. Check it out. While we're, you know, I just tried Audible. Check out Audible. Okay.

Dot com. Dot com. Wait, is that who we're getting paid to do this for? We don't know yet. Audible dot com. I got my mother a six-month membership, and somehow that included me being signed up for it. So I've been an Audible member for the past six months. I did not know that, so I am now using the service.

I can't listen. I don't want to listen to a book. I got to read a book. I can't listen to a book. I love listening to a book because great character actors read the books. My father used to do it all the time as a truck driver because he can't read a book. I can't listen to a book. I love listening to a book because a great character actor has to read the books. My father used to do it all the time as a truck driver because he can't read and drive.

Actually, now that I think of it, you know, I'm kind of pissed at Audible. Why? Because they signed me up for this fucking membership. So I don't know. Don't, I don't know. I'm not saying don't listen to them, but just take, heed my advice.

They're a little shifty. Kissel, you haven't even touched any of your beers. I thought they were for everyone. What the hell is wrong with you people? Heed my advice. They're a little shifty. Kisly, you haven't even touched any of your beers by your peers. I thought they were for everyone. What the hell is wrong with you people? I don't drink anymore, you know. Well, you drink sometimes. Well, every once in a while, yeah.

Yeah, you don't drink anymore. Well, I don't mean like I don't drink on shows anymore. I haven't drank on a show in like two or three years. Sure. I am drinking. Yes, Jackie drinks. You can have a couple of drinks while adults. One might say Jackie drinks at a

regular, regular occurrence on a constant basis. It's not because I'm an alcoholic. It just means that I'm fun all the time. I wonder what the real Jackie's like. Do you ever think about that? There's a movie about it. I wonder. The real Jackie was the wife of a president. That's my name!

Oh my goodness. She does say it a lot in the movie. Does she really? It's weird. I don't know why she does it. She says, that's my name a lot in the movie. Your husband had his brains all over your dress. Jackie. There you go. That's right.

You gotta say the name. Yeah, you have to say the name. Oh my goodness. Well, I'm excited to see it. The last movie that I saw was oh my gosh. Oh my goodness. Reanimator. No. Return to the Commissioner. 1975 at Nighthawk.

Great feature film about 1975. It was a police... It was a caper all about New York City and crime and drugs. That movie doesn't exist. Report to the commissioner. Return of the Commissioner is the sequel that never happened.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess they didn't report. I'm the commissioner. You may report to me, Jackie. That's my name. All right. No one knew she was an undercover policewoman. Yep. Including the detective who killed her.. All right. No one knew she was an undercover policewoman, including the detective who killed her.

That's right. They really give a lot away in that little blog line there. I mean, it was on the poster. It was on the poster to the movie. I guess maybe people at home just don't need to watch it anymore. It looked like routine homicide, but no one knew she was an undercover policewoman, including the detective who killed her.

Report to the commissioner. Is that really what it says? The whole movie. That's the poster to the movie. Well, I guess we don't have to see it. No need to see it. I saw it, and that is the movie. That's fine.

You're not allowed to steal it, Holden. I'm sorry. I apologize. I'm very sorry. You can go watch. What is it? Holden, he can say it. Cuckoo's Nest, bitch.

What is it? That's my nickname He can say it Cuckoo's nest Bitch What is it I'm That's my nickname No what are you named after Catcher in the rye Catcher in the rye Catcher in the eye Right guys

Right guys Catcher in the eye Oh you want me Come balls You come back To live for flan And have me Come balls

Go ahead Eat some cum Deal with it Oh is that what's in those? Yeah. Cum's not that bad. Jackie, not that bad, huh? No. Yeah, I mean, it's fine.

I don't know. You guys are consuming too much of it. How much cum do you think you've ingested in your life, Jackie? 20 gallons. Alright, let's move on. Don't we have a segment to get to? Roughly. Alright, we have a segment to get to? Roughly. 20 gallons. All right, time for a segment from old MacNeely.

That's a lot of semen. Yeah, well, I'm good at what I do. I don't know if that's good. Powerful woman. That's right. That's your name. Bone marrow. What are we doing today?

Valentine's Day What is it? What is Valentine's Day? Isn't it a couple of weeks away? It's very soon, that's why I'm doing that Maybe it would be better if it was the week of What was the week of? What are we going to do?

A fucking Black History Month themed fucking segment? I don't have one What about a Groundhog's Day segment? Yeah. One day of your life. Let me take off my magic fucking hat and fucking pull a segment out of my fucking head. If you can relive one day of your life. Relive one day of my life.

What is it? Over and over again. Or if you had today to live over and over again. Starting right now. Oh no. That would suck. Today was really busy. I'm so tired. I guess I wouldn't do my day though. I'd do something completely different. Oh yeah I could have some fun today

but I like to relive. Pick a day to relive. I actually have one. I mentioned it earlier. That would be the day Kissel and I watched Rambo 4. Rambo 4. I'll never be able to re-see it for the first time unless I was in this specific scenario. And I remember we watched a lot of movies that day. I think we watched, we had a really good laugh over Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

That's right. Oh, that was so bad. It was so bad, but we had so much fun. The fridge moment, I've never laughed harder in my life. Nuclear explosion. You just got to get inside a Maytag fridge and then we watched iron man and that was solid it was good it was like the movies progressively got better and then rambo 4 right around the corner rambo 4 and we were drinking eat drinking that cider yeah

fucking hanging right so when you guys used to live together all you did was just watch movies yeah bag of, bunch of weed. Legalize it. Three or four chicks. Legalize it. That was a great memory, and I would love to piggyback on that, but I guess I cannot do that. Let's see.

The date of relive over and over and over again. Oh, maybe winning a wrestling tournament? That was always kind of exciting. Or, Marcus, what would be the fun day? I would say the day that me and my cousin went to Schlitterbahn, and then we had schnitzel, and what was it? Bratwurst afterwards. It was a really fun day.

Honestly, yeah. I mean, it's tough. I would say anything early, mid-2000s, when all of us were just hanging out, having a great time. Those were always so fun. One of those days off. How about the time we watched the Neil Young concert? Over and over again. Oh, you mean every fucking day for five months?

Well, we had to. Either that or I'd just relive 9-11 every day because it was really exciting. Never forget. Well, that's kind of what I was thinking, but I just remember there was a day when my father-in-law came in town who is a, if you've listened to the show, you know Bill. We've talked, he's been on the show before. I thought you were Bill.

Yeah, you're Bill. Well, today I'm Bill, but in the past, Bill has been Bill. And we went to the 9-11 Memorial Museum, and it was like the coldest day New York has ever seen. I think it was like the wind chill was like negative 25. It was in January. It was a few years ago. So we went down there.

And he has no patience, so he ran right through it. And Doug and I went through it and cried as we went through the memorial. And then afterwards, we walked to Chinatown and ate some pho at a Vietnamese place. And that was amazing. And then we cried about 9-11 some more. And I feel like if you're going to relive a day, aren't you really going to want to remember what your relatives went through as they died on 9-11?

Right, sure. Two 9-11- Right, sure. Absolutely. Two 9-11 themed relive days. Maybe when Stone Cold Steve Austin refused to tap out at SummerSlam. That was pretty good. That was actually that was pretty great. I remember that was a really good day with my buddy Josh Rodriguez.

I watched it with my friend Pete. Yeah, I watched it with my friend Nitty Toes Jones. I watched it with my friend Picklees. I watched him offering pickle pickles. You remember that day? We were like... And that one guy came in and he was like, butts, butts, butts. Anytime the butts guy shows up, that's going to be a day you want to return to.

You want to return to any day the butts... When's the last time the butts guy showed up in your life, Ben? The butts guy? Yeah, the guy that just walks in the room and starts going, uh-oh, who's that? Come in. Butts! Butts! Butts!

Oh, my God, he's so sexy in a serene kind of way. Yeah. See you later! I don't know a day where he hasn't showed up. That's a truth bomb. Powerful. Butts. So who gets to relive their day, Marcus? See you later. I don't know a day where he hasn't showed up. That's a truth bomb. Yeah. Powerful butts. So who gets to relive their day, Marcus?

Well, Marcus and I agree with Stone Cold Steve Austin, I think. Yeah, that Summer Slam day sounds pretty sweet. A whole bunch of kids came over to Josh's house, and we were all watching it. I used to be a backyard wrestler. We all got a whole shitload of Mountain Dew, and so we were all slamming Mountain Dew. We were all feeling real weird. Man. I recovered a fumble once in seventh grade. I had a really good football game one night against, what was it, against Very Best.

Oh. I don't think I ever played a good sport game in my entire life. Well, then you can't think of that. Yeah. That Very Best game, I felt like a king that night. Yeah. You got to have it every once in a while. I think Marcus has to win this.

Yeah. All right. Okay. This is the first time Marcus has ever participated, and then also the first win. I don't think either of those things are true. Yeah, basically it is. When was the last time Marcus participated? I participated in a couple.

Episode number fucking 850. What are we up to? I have no idea anymore. We've been doing this for a long time. We're all in our early 40s now. Alright, so Jackie, I don't know, tell something to the people. Staring at her phone, completely disconnected.

I'm over it because you started saying Summer Sluice and I was like I don't know what this means. Slam! Oh yeah, yeah. I just remember Brett the Hitman Hart. Yeah. He was there. And I wanted to have sex with him. He was there. Was he at that Summer Slam?

He was the one Stone Cold wouldn't tap out to. He was in the sharpshooter. Huh. I remember it differently. Isn't that wild? So do I want to have sex with the winner or do I want to have sex with a loser? Have sex with your boyfriend. Yeah, but I'm talking about Bret the Hitman Hart.

You want to have sex with both of them, but most likely Stone Cold. Okay, all right. I would say if I were to pick a man for you, I would pick Stone Cold. But we don't know. The Hitman's Canadian. You don't want any part of that.

Well, we just don't know. I have recently listened to The Rock's song on the WWE CD, and it is not good and you know what? I still want to have sex with him. There are some women who don't think The Rock is attractive. That's insane. I don't understand that. I need to listen to the Macho Man rap.

He made a rap album and it's awesome. Yes, he did. It is fucking awesome. I will listen to that. But I don't want to have sex with him. No, it doesn't matter. I just say you need to listen to it.

He died. Is that, you eat that jerky. What did he say? Oh, you eat that jerky. We're going to snap into a Slim Jim. No, you eat that jerky. Yeah. Well, we didn't want to give away our sponsor.

Brother. Yes. Brother. We actually were sponsored by Fat Tom's. It's a jerky company, and you eat that jerky. You eat that jerky. Fat Tom. And here at Fat Tom's Jerky, we make sure every stick of jerky has plenty of care put into it.

I sleep with every stick of jerky for one night. I cuddle it in my arms so I make sure that every jerky has a glaze on it and is loved by me. Man, do I love jerky. Thank you from Big Tom's Jerky. I did not commit those crimes. Perfect. You eat that jerky.

All right, that's the episode. We'll talk to you soon.