The Roundtable of Gentlemen - Episode 96: It's All Boots To Her

Episode Date: May 4, 2015

Today on Round Table: Hitler's medical records have been released revealing a coke habit and "uncontrollable flatulence", a college student is left in a cell for five days with only meth to eat, and a rousing game of Password is played, plus CCR's own Sara Benincasa, comedian Ron Krasnow, and friend James Weinheimer join the crew in the office and Jermaine Fowler sits in for Kevin Barnett.

The round table. Gentlemen! Aye? Let's broaden our minds! Lay out, gentlemen, and let them go watch what? Fire at will! It's time for action, gentlemen. Gentlemen of the round table.

What's the topic of discussion? Civility, gentlemen. Always civility. Dear Lord. Good. Thank you for disturbing hardcore internet pornography. What? Pornography. Pornography. Specifically

the E.T. porno. If none of you have seen it, it is... It's called Bone Home. Oh, I like that. Is the finger a dick? E.T. Bone Home. It is E.T. Bowneo? With the light at the end of it? It is E.T.'s cousin, who is a female, who has traveled to Earth inexplicably during Victorian times to learn human sexuality. She can queef the word ouch.

Not bad. Not a bad thing to queef, really. Amen. What a weird prayer. That's nice really. Amen. Hey, all right. What a weird prayer. That's nice. Welcome to the round table of gentlemen. Who's everybody around this round table?

Jackie Zabrowski. Oh, no. Ed Larson. Holden McNeely. Whoa, I'm slipping already. Nice job, Holden. Sarah Benengaza. Hi.

Sarah, you don't talk yet. It's just the people who are actually on the round table. Fuck you, fasa, hi. You don't get to say hi. Sarah, you don't talk yet. It's just the people who are actually on the round table. Fuck you, faggots. Alright, well let me do the introduction. Alright, and with us, Sarah Benincasa. The gay basher. If her tits were a month,

it would be October. Long and strange and weird and scary. Sarah Benincasa. October tits. October tits. October tits. Thanks for being here, Sarah. I like it. You fucking rude-a, interrupt-a.

So fucking glad I'm here. All right. Sitting in for Kevin Barnett, equally black, but with worse teeth. With worse teeth. With worse teeth. But a much better neck.

Thanks for being here, Shemaine Conley. Thank you, Kissel. All right, and then we got Ran Kraus now. Ron Kraus now. How you doing, Ron? I'm doing good. Now, Ron, the last time you were here, you really shit the bed.

How do you plan to do tonight? I plan on not being blackout drunk and racist today. You don't remember how bad you are. You should always get blackout drunk. Good plan. You're racist? No, he's not racist. He just had no good jokes.

Just would be drunk. Yeah. Like every white person, a.k not racist. He just had no good jokes. Just when he's drunk. Yeah. Like every white person, a.k.a. every human being on the page. Well, this is starting out terribly. And, of course, with us is James. Yeah. I'm planning on being racist this month. Thank you, James.

And, James, you're friends with Marcus Parks. That's right. All right. Let's throw it to everybody's favorite occupier, newsman, Marcus Parks. What do you got for us, buddy? Adolf Hitler news. He's back? I thought he was gone! There is so much consistent

Adolf Hitler news. Still, it's great. His medical records have recently been released. He frequently used cocaine, ingested some 28 drugs at a time, and suffered from quote, uncontrollable flatulence.

That's the cocaine. That's the exact same way that Whitney died. We shouldn't be allowed to learn more about Hitler because the more you learn about him, the more you like him. Yeah, exactly. Do you think he did it off of Hooker's tits? Hitler's like the reverse Mel Gibson.

The more you know him, the less you like him. Hitler's just going to hang out with You know? The more you know him, the less you like him. Right. Hitler is just going to hang out with this dude. Is there any Jews in the house? Yes. Now, Ron, how do you feel about Hitler being such a cool dude? I gotta

tell you, it's growing on me. 28 drugs at a time, that's impressive for a little fella. How big was he? He wasn't a big guy, was he? No, he wasn't. Small guy. Yeah, he had the small guy syndrome. I mean, he had, you know...

Napoleon complex? Napoleon complex. Hitler was about 5'8 to 5'10, right? It's amazing that he changed that to the Hitler complex. Yeah, right? No, Napoleon was pretty bad as well. He didn't try to exterminate a race, but he was pretty bad. Sarah, if you had to bang one, Napoleon or

Hitler, who would you take it and why? I would... Oh, and before you answer, Hitler was 5'9 and weighed about 150. That's tight! Can we get the numbers on Napoleon real quick? Sure, sure, sure. He was basically not as small as people claim he was.

No, he's actually about the same size. He was about 5'8", 5'9". So we're both 5'8", 5'9"? Somewhere around there. So this is an episode of Eliminate. You're out with Hitler, and you're out with the other fellow we just talked about. Napoleon.

Stalin's already been eliminated. I love Stalin! Stalin went home with me. Stalin belongs to Jackie. I'm not going to take that away from her. The thing about Napoleon, you've got not going to take that away from her. Not that I could. The thing about Napoleon, you've got to remember, is that he's French. Ooh, a lover.

Tiny dick. Are the French known for having small cocks? Oh, yeah, sure. That's why they're so romantic. You get your own private island with him, though. Corsica. I'm going to pick whichever one of them was shorter because tall guys are gross.

Am I right? That's true. I agree with you. Ben is disgusting. Oh, I agree with that. James, what are you going to say in defense? Oh, I think he was Italian by nationality. No, we're talking Napoleon.

Yeah. Oh, really? Bonaparte. And Sarah, you are Italian, so that goes in his favor. Am I right? That would be fantastic. Yeah, because we could be related on some level and our kids would be very special.

You could be a princess. Yay! What are the numbers on Napoleon? Coming up with it. Napoleon was 5'7". Oh, it was my height! 5'6 1⁄2". Which is your height. It's my height.

That's what you're asking. So imagine a little bit of a darker shade than Jermaine, the Italian Napoleon, versus Hitler. Who do you choose? I'm going with Napoleon. I want him to throw that sweet French cheese sandwich load up inside my person.

I want to make weird Italian flipper babies. Cheese wedge dick. Forget Bonaparte. She's taking the whole thing. Who am I fucking? Who are you fucking? Bonaparte or Hitler? Yes.

Fuck. They're both dudes, you know? Which way are we jamming here? And also, just so you know, Hitler did take cleansing enemas on a very regular basis. That's easier entry. His asshole probably feels like a pussy. Yeah.

But shit. But like, no butt shit. No butt shit. He has no butt, no shit. I guess I'm fucking Hitler with the clean ass. Yeah. And he also took bull testicle extract injections to pump up his libido.

So it's semen. I don't want him to fuck me back. That's gay. I can't fucking him to fuck me back. That's gay. I can't fuck a dude who's gay. How does this fart news take in Germany? Are there any white supremacists or KKK members who are really

sad about this fart news? I haven't researched the neo-Nazi community's reaction to this news. I come from a town where some people named their kid Adolf Hitler and the kid got taken away from them. Oh, that's from your town?

Yeah, we shot in the head that poor kid. Yeah! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up with it. What happened? What happened is there was these people named their son Adolf Hitler and they went to a supermarket to get a birthday cake for him and, excuse me,

they asked to have the cake to say Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler. And that's whenever the authorities were called. And I'll tell you, it was the king's supermarket on Route 22, and they do not fuck with Hitler shit. So they were like, no, we are

not going to put Adolf Hitler on that cake. I can't believe they took the kid away. What do you want to say, Ron? I mean, as a Jew, what really offended me is that the supermarket didn't take the sale. I agree. Times are tough. Sell the fucking Hitler cane.

Put the money in the register. Next customer. Who was asking for rainbows and ponies? Are you just going to draw a fucking swastika? It's so easy as well. With the bag, it's very easy. It's not bad. I don't like it, but whatever.

What do you think? Do you guys think that kid should have been taken away, though? Isn't it in their parents' right to name their kid Adolf Hitler if they want to name him Adolf Hitler? I mean, like, you can sell to name their kid Adolf Hitler if they want to name him Adolf Hitler? I mean like how they spell it. Probably like Adolf Hitler. You don't miss fucking spell Adolf Hitler. Yeah, what the fuck? So I can't name my kid Donkey, Donkey, Donkey, Donkey, Donkey?

No, no, you can. You can. That's the problem. I'm more offended by Donkey, Donkey, Donkey, Donkey than Adolf Hitler. Donkey, you missed one of the donkeys. That's the problem with the name. That is right. I mean, I don't know. Jackie, are you taking this kid away? Oh yeah, take him away.

But I just think that all kids should live in orphanages. To make them Adolf Hitler. Exactly. To create a Hitler. Get them mad. Get them to, inspire them to do better with themselves. And their shitty parents. Nothing's going to make this kid

kill more than the foster care system. He's more angry now than he ever could have imagined being. Tiny Dirty Dorms. Tiny Dirty Dorms. That's the name of a great porno. Tiny Dirty Dorms. E.T. porn.

It's disturbing. It's weird though. They named him Adolf Hitler. It's obviously a man who had a lot of hate, but I'm sure they love this kid. Isn't that really all parents need to do for their children? But the thing is, this kid's going to go through his whole life. The kid's just beating the shit out of him. And not only that, he's got to get beat up by Jews

his whole life. No one beats up Adolf. Nobody does that. Name the kid Michael fucking Jordan. First of all, kids are dumb these days and have no idea who Adolf Hitler is. German kids, though. American kids know who they are. Kind of.

Kind of, sort of, no. German kids, they don't teach them about it. My family knows about it. The kids in my family, I fucking tell them all about it. You're not even Jewish, Eddie. Sit down, children. Let me tell you a little tale. I think he does it as praise.

I think he does it as praise. One more tale. He does it as praise though Oh this guy's great Let me teach you to salute The uncontrollable flatulence I could only imagine him hanging out With Mengele and Goebbels And all those guys

And just farting all the time And they can't say shit They can't say anything because they're laughing so hard It's hilarity That bumper must have been a nightmare can't say shit. No, they can't say anything because they're laughing so hard. It's hilarity. That bumper must have been a nightmare. It smells like buttercups in here. It smells delicious.

Doesn't smell like poop at all. It's like daffodils in a spring breeze. I like that. James, what do you got to say about all this? Well, you know, I just feel sorry for Ava Braun, as always, in this whole matter. That poor, poor girl!

I'm gonna kill that poor woman! She was in the bunker with Hitler for all those days. I mean, in the last, you know, and I'm sure the coke was running out. And she probably had to give some real weird, sad-eyed BJs

that ended with a fart in the face, and it's like she wasn't suffering enough. Also, you have to consider the suicide was probably a laughingstock. He probably stabbed himself in the belly, and then just farted for two minutes. I want this to be this big moment for us in the bunker, but you're farting so much. You know when you're driving to New York,

and your perfect time to fart is when you're driving past New Jersey? I think the perfect time for him to fart would be when he's walking past the concentration camp. He tries to pass it off as gas smells. It's the gas. That's very nice.

That's great. Guys, first, have any of you ever farted during a blowjob? That's great Guys first Have any of you ever farted during a blowjob? No I almost did Man did I almost fart Girls The apparatus Girls

Has a guy ever farted while you've been giving a blowjob? No but I farted while a guy was going down on me once I was 19 years old. His name was James. He played the violin. He was very nice and had a coke habit. Like Hitler. Coke habit, yeah.

Does coke make you fart a lot? It does. Yeah, but Sarah was the one that farted. So Sarah, he's going down on your, I would imagine, disgusting pussy. So he's eating you out. And you fart on his chin. What does he do? I let people in there constantly.

And I will let anyone in there. I've let like six people in today. And I farted and he just looked at me. And I said, I'm so sorry. And he said, it's okay. With really big eyes that indicated it was not okay. But then he went back and he finished.

Oh! What a nice guy. That guy was desperate. I do think it was meant to eat some pussy. He was so in need. The first chick I ever ate out of hand, she had toilet paper in her pussy. Oh, me too.

Really, you too? Yes. I've seen that before, yes. I handled it. I just took it out. I did not say anything about it. Because you don't say anything about it. She was there trying to clean up for you.

Exactly. It was a nice thing. It should be worse. If she was doo-dooing there, that'd be bad. Oh, that'd be bad, yeah. It was tissue. That's a good thing. I didn't know that there was toilet paper in her pussy, though.

Oh, come on. You got half a fucking roll up there right now, Jackie. Yeah, but she knows about it. She knows it. She's got the brawny man up there. Tell me this. You're going down in her. You find a little piece of what you think is toilet paper.

It ends up being plans. Plans for a Nazi takeover? Secret plans. A little stroll. Do you finish? plans for a nazi takeover secret plans do you finish or do you get out oh you fuck the shit out of her is that awesome

I found your blueprints the plans are just like a picture of you like going down on her right mission accomplished she's like a giant war missile What is this Put it back inside

It's just a big Iron Man costume Who are you Are you a man Do you think Hitler ate pussy Yes He was a freak I'm sure he was a freak Wait wait wait

Hold on one second Why is it Whenever a man eats pussy He's automatically a freak No he was a freak, dude. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on one second. Why is it that whenever a man eats pussy, he's automatically a freak? No, he's a freak. No, he's not a freak. He's a freak for eating it. That's the least he's going to do. Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

He's a psycho. Of course he's going to eat pussy. He's a weirdo. We've said it a thousand times. Anyone who is in power does the freakiest things. I'm sure. I mean, he liked to be shat on. He loved to eat pussy.

He liked to pleasure a gal. He loved to eat pussy. He liked to pleasure a gal. He loved to go space-saving. You like sticking your plans up pussy sometimes? Are you equating getting shat on with pleasuring a gal? Because I think you just did. You can imagine what Michelle does to Barack. I mean, he's the fucking leader of the free world. You need to be rubbed in shit.

I mean, I'm sure he gets bored of the sex sometimes and he wants to be shat on. Who doesn't want to be? I am very close to getting shat on. Has anyone been shat on in the room? No. Sarah, come on. No, I feel like I'm very close to shitting on someone.

We're not going to talk about that right now. That's a little Easter egg for the fans. Nobody wants to get shat. I don't think anybody... I don't think I could shit on somebody. I think I could. Hitler could. Hitler could. Hitler never shat on Ava. He only

received it. I could shit on Hitler. I could shit on Hitler right now if I needed to. I'm talking about I can't shit on someone I want to fuck. I can shit on Hitler with no problem. Would you shit on Hitler right now if I needed to. Yeah. I mean, I'm talking about I can't shit on someone I want to fuck. Right. I could shit on Hitler with no problem. Would you shit on them after you had sex with them? Who?

Who? Would you shit on them after you had sex with them? Who, Hitler? Depends if I hated him or not. Anyone, like a lady. Is it a hate fuck? Yes. Yeah, sure.

You are way too casual with that, I think. I feel like we should move on and you should edit all of that out. All right, next up, a UC San Diego student who was left apparently forgotten in a 5x10 DEA cell for five days since he had to drink his own urine to survive. Oh, my God. Is that James Franco? Daniel Chong. He's just like James Franco.

That would have made that movie a lot better. He's just guzzling his own piss the whole time. That poor guy, whoever he is, who really went through that, he's just going to be known as James Franco forever. Daniel Chong. Can I take a second, by the way? When you told me about this story before, Marcus, you did say that his last name was Wang and not Chong.

No, no, no. I told you it was Chong. You wanted it. You heard Wang. You heard Wang. I distinctly remember I told you it was Chong. You wanted it. You heard Wang. You heard Wang. I distinctly remember you telling you it was Chong. You heard Wang. Can we just...

Jackie, why do you hate Asians? No, no. I love their food. She heard Gook. Wait, I thought their last name was Gook. What? I don't know. What are you doing?

Oh, man, there's a great Asian restaurant I just found at Ridgewood. My whole life is different. They're so good. King Wahs. Jackie just heard Wang Wang. Yeah, we were on another show we were recording today. We were talking about Woody Allen. And Jackie was like, what's Woody Allen's

wife's name? Wing Tang? God damn it! No, it's Sun Yi! Good job, Jackie. I'm sorry! Tomato, tomato! Tomato, Asian pears. So this guy, Daniel Chong, 23,

he was at a friend's house to celebrate 420 when DEA agents raided the residence and took him to their office. No charges were filed against him, but he was placed in a cell where he spent the next five days with no human contact, no food, and no water. Jerked off all the time. It's awful. Yeah. He says... Every week of Holden's life.

By the third day, he was completely insane and hallucinating. He explains he found a powdery substance in the cell and ate it, and it was later determined to be meth. What? How is that a lucky devil?

He hallucinated before he ate the meth? I don't know, man. By the time he was released, he had lost 15 pounds and his kidneys were close to failing. On the fourth day, he broke his glasses and used the shards to attempt suicide. And then he ingested some of the glass. Whoa! I could not. I'm sorry.

That happened in five days? Five days. He did. No food and water in five days, bro. You would try to figure out a way to kill yourself. What day did he get the meth? Day three. Day three.

So two more days after the meth. Yeah. That's so crazy. How big was the cell? It was five by ten. And it took him three days to find the meth? Was he arrested after he got the meth too? Like that's still a crime

I'm not trying to make a mountain out of a meth hill here But I'm just saying Three days to find the meth Seriously the first thing I do in a jail cell Is play find the meth And I don't think anybody else Everybody knows every cell's got some meth in it man Every cell's got meth stash

It's usually in a mouse You gotta open that fucker up. Jackie, what do you want to say about this guy? No, I was saying he's gonna become a millionaire. Yeah, Jackie, I was thinking, how much money do you think this is worth? He's going to make... He's gonna be set for life. $20 million.

And he's gonna fucking get it. That's what he's... He's suing for $20 million. Yeah. He'll definitely get it, and he deserves it. Oh, yeah. What state is this? This was...

San Diego, you said, right? San Diego. This is California. San Diego, yeah. I can't believe? This was... San Diego, you said, right? San Diego. This is California. San Diego, yeah. I can't believe the DEA is just leaving drugs around. They're a high man. That's what they do. That's what they do.

He also broke his glasses and tried to carve sorry mom in his arm. Is that really the last thing you want to write? Did he really do that? He tried to, but he was too, like, crazy. I just couldn't see. Why did he say sorry mom? I wish he had written, to, but he was too crazy. I just wish he was his pen to write. Why did he say sorry, Mom? I wish he had written big tits or something.

He was trying to kill himself, so he wanted to leave that as a suicide note. Oh, to his mom. I'm never going to see The Avengers. Sorry, Stanley Lee. It's really not good. Oh, man. Man, that has to be the worst 420 ever. I mean, forget Columbine.

Forget the birth of Hitler. That's the worst 420 in human history. He did get high, though. All of his friends afterwards are just like, oh, man, bummer. You know? They were like, they're too out of it still to really get... I can't believe we're his friends! His friends are like, you didn't say anything! His friends weren't in fucking jail.

So, wait, wait, five days on a holiday weekend? They just forgot about him. They just put him in the cell and then Like a solitary cell? Yeah, five by ten. Five by ten? Five days, five by ten.

Five days, five by ten. All the way up where you can't even see out of it. He didn't bang on it? Yeah, he banged on the door and nobody came. If that place was in Greenpoint, he'd be paying $2,500 a month. The man should be happy to be there for five fucking days. Are you kidding me? How old was he?

I'm sorry. 23. Fuck. He's fine. If you can't live without water and food for five days when you're 23, you've got bigger issues. This dude is a fucking weak little pussy.

Really, though? To be honest, I don't want to be insensitive, but I kind of think I can do five days without all that shit. I've fasted like that before for church. I've eaten some candy. But no human contact What so ever

And you don't know how long it's going to be It could be months And you have no concept of time Yeah time is out the window I think all solitary cells Should be getting cleaned daily Right It wasn't a holiday.

I thought they would clean them or something like that. What scares me is trying to think of if I were in that situation, I don't know how I would

fucking kill myself. My glasses are plastic. There's no way I could even try to get them against the wall. Hipster old school

glasses, very vintage. No, they're not vintage. They're fucking cheap as shit. $39. Glasses.com. You would probably

walk out of there so thin. They're actually a sponsor for the show. $39. Glasses. thin. They're actually a sponsor for the show. $39 glasses dot com. They can't kill you.

You can't kill yourself with them. $39 dot com. But what would you do? There's no linens. You can't even hang yourself.

You just have to wait to die. Bang your head against the wall. That fucking phone! I know. I can't turn

the ringer off. I'm sorry. I've tried for days. I don't know where it is. I don't know where it is. This shit is driving me. The thing makes me want to break my glasses. Break messages to my mom. What a pussy.

Maybe that's him. Marcus, why did you fail so much to turn that phone off? What's going wrong? Stop that. I was watching... He's crying. He's crying.

What's going on here? Are you crying? No. Talk about something. Yeah, talk about something. What are you gonna talk about? Does it matter anymore? Marcus is crying.

Marcus is crying. Why is Marcus crying? What happened? He's hurting you. I'm not crying. I'm fine. Do you want to cry about something? I mean, he's looking at a picture of a graveyard.

I am. Are you looking at a picture of a graveyard? What the fuck is going on? Well I mean it has to do with the next story Okay well then go to the next What's the next story? The next story Great segway

Yeah Jameesha Pyers and Corey Granberry both 21 were Say their names again real quick Jameesha Pyers and Corey Granberry 21 were... Say their names again real quick. Jaymisha Pyers and Corey Granberry. How old are they? No story needed.

21. Go ahead. This is another San Diego story. They were visiting the San Diego grave of Granberry's godson on Saturday when they saw a woman with her clothes covered in blood asking for help. She led them to her husband,

30-year-old Joseph Ramirez, who is allegedly holding their three children hostage at his uncle's grave. Perez saw Ramirez slashing at his 8-year-old son's arms with glass, apparently broken from candles he had brought to the cemetery. Much better than glasses.

Ramirez said he had been hearing his dead grandmother's voice in his head telling him to sacrifice his son. And he was repeating, quote, We're going to Jesus when Pires and Granberry found him. Sounds like a nice dad. That wasn't his grandma. That was the voice of God. Everybody knows that. Wow, sounds like a nice dad. That wasn't his grandma. That was the voice of God. Everybody knows that.

Yeah, that's not grandma. Yeah, that wasn't Grandma Granberry. Sounds like a better family vacation than I went on. Don't go to San Diego. Never go to San Diego. That's San Diego again? Yeah. That's so weird.

I thought that was like a chill time. I don't know if we've ever had a San Diego story before. No, and usually all of our stories are from Florida. It's so weird. I thought that was like a chill time. I don't know if we ever had a San Diego story before. No, and usually all of our stories are from Florida. It's weird. Right? Yeah. His grandmother told him to kill his kids. My grandmother always told me I was fat.

Maybe you want to die. My grandmother still tells me I'm fat. It's interesting. Well, mine's dead, so. Thank God. I can't anymore. Why don't you listen to your grandma? Like, what kind of, like, I wouldn't even.

Yeah, seriously, who does listen to grandma? Ron? No, I haven't listened to my grandparents in years. They've been dead since the 80s. Well, that's why you should really hear their voices. Yeah, I mean, when... What's that Psycho movie? I'm sorry.

No, no, no, no, no. Where is... Oh, fuck, the guy from Psycho. Norman Bates? Norman Bates type shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, there was a guy here in New York who was putting on his mother's clothing and collecting her Social Security checks

for the last five years. I saw that. See, that's just smart. Yeah. I don't think that he had to put on his mother's clothing. Yeah, that's weird. To get it out of the mail? Yeah, that's a strange thing.

He had to put on a house dress to take it out of the mail. It's just me. I don't want it to wear a dress. Same old lady for years. Nothing weird. So what's happening? Is the kid's arm okay? They stitch it up? Yeah, it's fine. It's going to be fine.

What a P.E. teacher fucking response to that. So yeah, it's fine, right? He just walked it off. Back off fucking school. Is this a story about a boo-boo? Granberry managed to get to the other two children. Both girls were safe distance away.

And Piers eventually convinced Ramirez to let the boy go. Granberry, a medical assistant, wrapped a shirt around the boy's arm. Lucky. Ramirez was tackled by a security guard after running away and was later taken to a hospital. He will be charged with child abuse and assault with a deadly weapon. I always thought that every voice from another planet always said

kill the girl. Always kill the girl. That is good. Who killed the girl? I was over in Flemington hanging out with this fellow who takes care of a bunch of retards and he said there was this one retard that did literally a bunch.

Like a whole nest full. Eight retards make one person. Eight retards make one person and he hung out with three people. So you can imagine. Imagine the amount of retards. Just do the math. Like a Voltron of retards. It's bizarre.

It doesn't form like a super thing. It just forms something that works at Hardee's for 30 years. You can almost play dodgeball. You never know what they're up to. It's like a Gundam wing. It's powerful. Give him a job. This dude, the only thing he could say was,

Big boy Ben. Love him. Kiss him. Miss him. Kill him. And that was it. what is it love him kiss him miss him kill him and that was it I think it was just what was it Sarah it was just

this dude who he has two caretakers one is Ben and one is Jake he calls them both big boy and he goes and he says

big boy Ben big boy Jake kiss him miss him kill him over and over again they're not retarded they're fucking crazy big boy Jake. Kiss him. Miss him. Kill him. Over and over again. They're not retarded. They're fucking crazy.

They are the fella's grandfather. They are Jason Voorhees. They are. And so apparently what happens is that at first he'll say that anybody he likes he says that to.

So at first sometimes young girls will volunteer at the home and they'll think it's really sweet because he'll be like Brenda! Kiss her! Miss her! Kill her!

What the fuck? What the fuck? That's awesome. That's creepy. You just turned into a woman there. I did. Hasn't this slowpoke really personified the life cycle of love

I feel like he's not retarded Because I thought retarded people Only said the word ice cream I'm fucking creeped out right now That's fucked up What do you like to do most with a gal Kiss a gal, miss a gal, or kill a gal I like to kiss her

I like to miss her Where did she go? Where did she go when she's coming back? It's actually very smart If you listen to the lyrics of his song It's smarter than Katy Perry or Kurt Cobain lyrics That's very good It's a very natural progression

It's like very natural progression. It's like that U2 song. Kiss me, kill me, thrill me, kill me. Kiss me. Are these like special episodes? You mean from Batman Forever? This guy is in his 40s, so he's like a functioning adult. He has a job and everything, but he just prefers to say only a few words.

What's his job? I think it might involve pushing things like carts or people. Of course. I'm guessing there's never been, but is there any chance of a retarded serial killer? Can we get one of those on the dock?

I mean, not a serial killer. I mean, in Texas, we executed a man who killed a woman with a pair of scissors, and he was retarded. Oh, very retarded You look like my mother Well, your mother was a goddamn ugly bitch How many retards has Texas killed?

Five Just five, Corey I got the t-shirt that says that And it's five down, 18,000 to go There's never 18,000 retards in America I hope they don't kill anymore because then I'll have to get a new shirt. It's like five down syndrome. I don't understand how they can kill developmentally disabled people.

I mean, it's only in Texas, though. It's definitely only in Texas. How is that ever okay? I'm with you. Because they killed someone and they deserve to die. I agree with you to the point. It's like, how do you kill somebody who's already dead? Oh, fuck!

Mentally. Aren't hangings still legal in Texas? Hangings? No. Hangings with black people? No, no. Lynchings with black people were pretty much over that. For the most part.

It's not since 98. In 98, there was a... Well, that was Jasper, Texas. That was a whole thing. It's a real thing, though. You can just discount the example that is true. Am I the only person that sneaks into the movie theaters while the mentally challenged people are working on the weekdays?

Oh, I love to do it. No, no. No, that's just weird. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's great. Oh, I didn't even know about that. They work on the weekdays

and they just can't do anything about it. But it's like when you sneak into a movie theater with normal people, you gotta be real sly and quiet, but when it's retarded people,

you make as much noise as possible. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. And they're like, oh, that was fun. I get so happy when I see people who are disabled with jobs. I get really excited for them

because I feel like it makes them really happy to get to do that stuff. It makes the grocery store really slow. No, but no, no, no. My brother's working at a grocery store. You're really happy until they fucking put your bread and your gallon of milk into the same fucking bag and your bread gets all

fucked up. My mom can't get a fucking job. You know, I mean, like, why is this ridiculous? Retard her. Retard your mom. She's six months away. There have been times when I've been placed and I've seen them like pushing carts or packing stuff

and they might be a little slow, but I look at them and I'm like, they are enjoying their job way more than I have ever enjoyed any piece of work I've ever done in my whole life. That's really cool. I didn't think about that. And they might be slow, but they are not slow when they are putting those carts away. They are fucking fast as shit. They're strong as shit. They're having fun. And they're kind of strong.

They are strong. Yeah. We all agree they're strong. Putting carts away in the parking lot is a video game they can play. That's just fun. Well, you think push-ups are kisses. And the ground is your mother,

a.k.a. your wife. It's so easy. Drill a hole in. So hold him. I'm talking to my mom. Hold him. What do you do these days? Just like nothing. Don't do anything. Certainly don't do podcasts. I'm a to my mom Hold him What do you do these days Just like nothing

Don't do anything Certainly don't do podcasts Mother That's good Like you never listen to this Oh fuck That was great It's fun

It's a real wild one Does anybody have Retarded people in their family Or do they themselves Feel retarded I've got a lot I think he is We've talked to some people

Before though I think this guy You do as well We both have a lot Of retarded people In our family Yeah my aunt Actually used to do crack in the 80s, and she had babies then.

And one kid named Sean, my cousin, I think he's a little slow. He's not mentally challenged. He's just really slow. And same thing with my cousin. Who's the only baby ever to be born with the same outfit as Fuzzy Bear? Which is kind of weird. He's the only slow black guy.

Yes. Oh, it's that guy. That's racist. Yeah, Ron. That's racist. He's the only slow black guy Yes He fulfilled his promise My uncle My mom's twin brother He's got the mentality of a 12 year old So I guess he's not like retarded Yeah yeah unky doinky Actually his name is Uncle Eddiedie which is is it you it's you but uh yeah no but he's so he's always

had the mentality of a 12 year old so i got along with him real well when i was young obviously and but uh 17 but now that he's gotten older he um he can't see or hear and he also has this freaking crazy mental disability It's insane. It's collected. So what does he do with his day? He's get watched by my aunt's husband What did you say? I love it. Yeah, he gets why oh, it's what's bad. Okay? I was like, okay. Okay cool I talked to him once a year. Oh, that's good Yeah, it's good Oh, that's good. Oh, that's nice here. That's nice. Oh wait, I just got that phone That's terrible Talked to him once a year Oh yeah, that's good. Oh, that's good. Oh, that's nice, dude. That's nice. Oh, wait, I just got that.

That's terrible. Talk to him once a year. That's that phone. Who is this? I just feel like there's a way to unplug the phone. Do you guys want to hear about a woman biting a dog? Oh, yeah. Turn it around. An Illinois woman came home drunk and chomped on her family's English bulldog.

Oh, bad, bad fucking move. Did I? No. Annalise Garner, 19, also allegedly smacked, scratched, and bit her mother. She's been charged with domestic battery, animal cruelty, and underage drinking. The dog had three bite marks on his back. Poor baby. Wow, she bit it hard, huh?

Yeah. You know how tough a bulldog skin is? Yeah. And the dog just loved her so much, and he's like, why are you doing it? Just let her do it? I thought the story was going to end with the dog, like, mauling her back. Well, the dog did bite her back in self-defense. Eventually.

And bit her so hard that she needed medical attention. That's right. Bulldogs are the best. Bulldogs are the best. You know, bulldogs, they use them shits to take down big ass bulls

back in South America and Spain and shit. That's what they're made for. Terriers and bulldogs. They're fucking terriers. Now they're all inbred and have skin diseases. I'm on her side.

They don't move that much. That could have been really good tender meat. Could have been. Dog meat is that shit. Dog meat. Their faces though are so sad Dog meat is that shit. Dog meat. Their faces though are so sad. They're so cute.

Don't you worry. Come on. I mean really, I mean guys, just look at this picture of a bulldog. Look at the booboo. That's the cutest face

of all time. That's not the bulldog that was hit. That's like when they have a story about prostitution and they show a beautiful woman scantily clad. It's never that. That's Artie they have a story about prostitution And they show a beautiful woman scantily clad It's never that

That's Artie Lang I went to a dog show this weekend And I saw these bull mastiffs Some of these dogs looked like they were like 130 pounds Upper East Side has the biggest dogs you've ever seen They can fucking breed those dogs Gigantic It's like a huge fucking animal. Upper East Side has the biggest dogs we've ever seen. They can fucking breed those dogs. Gigantic. Yeah, it's really huge.

Oh yeah. It's like a bear. Yeah, yeah. And they take them, I guess they're right by Central Park, but good god, you need a huge farmland for the dog that fucking huge. It feels so bad for those dogs. In Russia, they actually breed dogs that have these muscles. Big tits? Oh, I got it. Dude, he's making the motion like they're huge. They breed dogs like they're Marines or whatever.

They have muscles. If you look up Russian pit bull, it's like this giant muscular-ass dog. Yeah, they have the bodybuilders. Yeah, exactly. They're fucking creepy as shit. Yeah, they're all pumped with juice, though, right? Of course, of course. They don't fucking have weight.

They got Russian steroids. Jesus Christ. What? Fucking Russian pit bulls. Oh, yeah, man. Oh, God. These are monsters. Well, let's wait for this thing to load up right quick.

This thing looks like a fucking cross-eyed moose. I think even YouTube has a bunch of actual tapes of them shooting these dogs in the ass with their sticks. Hey, hey, hey. We won to do it's like it's fine yeah did you guys hear that Chris Brown is breeding pits now that's good oh yeah new thing I presumably for fighting because he's such a great human being yeah like tweeting pictures of himself these cuddly little things and you know that he just beats the shit out of the dogs. Because of all the domestic violence just goes so well together. But like, pit bull puppies are the cutest

fucking puppies. Pit bulls and Rottweilers are the cutest puppies, man. I used to teach high school. She was a Rottweiler. One of my kids back when I taught high school used to bring in the little baby pit bulls that he was breeding. Obviously for terrible, terrible purposes.

This was on the US-Mexico border. But they were so cute. If you forgot about the purpose for which they were being used. They were like, My dad, at first, real good house in the suburbs. Let's not say anything incriminating on radio right now. We can't? I can't think.

I'm just kidding. You can do whatever you like. This shit's on your head. Just so you know. That's true. Actually, my dad and Jeffrey Joseph are about to fight. My dad hates Jeffrey Joseph. If you don't know who Jeffrey Joseph is,

he's starring in the TD Bank commercial with Regis Philman and Kelly Ripa. Oh, fuck! Anyway, listen. I saw him when I was stone watching The Price is Right the other day. It was weird. I'm just happy for him. Holy shit.

He's doing great. So your father wants to beat him up and kill him. Fuck that story. I'm going to do the other one. That one's really funny. I'll that later but uh my dad used to um he uh we wanted a dog so like in the suburbs we didn't you know we didn't have dog whatever and it's our first suburban house we come from like southeast dc or whatever and so he was like you know i get a pitbull but he didn't have enough money for an actual like puppy pitbull so we just actually just got one off this from a friend he knew that breeded them and fought them in the street. So it was like a retired female pitbull. I forgot her name.

To bring the income property down even more. Yeah, exactly. So we can afford mortgage, yes. So one day, we were like, Dad, we know it was a fighting pitbull until it bit our landlord and we got evicted from the house. Yeah, we got evicted. Dad fucking wanted to keep his

gangsta card in the suburbs. So it was fucking great. We didn't get a chew toy because it's just a... Chew it on the house. Did you feel like there was some neighbor resentment? Did the neighbors like the pitbull? Oh, hell no.

No one liked it. We had to keep it in the house all the time. People were afraid of it. They never saw a pitbull ever in their life, you know what I mean, in that area. So Dad just wanted to, you know, I'm still... he wanted to be like Scarface. I feel like your dad was like a super nice

dude, but he's like, I need to give these white people a reason to hate me. I will get a dog that will attack them. He's a sweet dude. He just wants the people to be, he's crazy. He's a born-again Christian now, though, but I don't know. Really? Yeah, he's born again. When did

that happen? That happened after he kicked me out of the house when I was 18 and I moved to New York. A year and a half after that. So I didn't get to. He's cool now, apparently. Was there an event that did it? I forgot to clean the dishes one night and he just kicked me out of the house. But it built up.

What was the event that made him become a born-again Christian? Yeah, when was he born again? Nah. Was that the moment? No, no, no. The moment, I guess,

was my dad wanted to be born again was when he got remarried and my mom left the family and he got remarried after that and wanted to change his life around.

I thought he got remarried and then your mother left and be like, yeah. This is it. No, my mom left, he got remarried and wanted to change his life around. be like, yeah. This is it. No, my mom left. He got remarried and didn't want to change his life around. This is basically just it. Was she born again, the person you married?

No, she's just a nice-ass person. She doesn't need to be born again. It's much like a program I've been watching lately. I like that. It's much like a program I've been watching lately. Ice loves Coco. Coco really made Ice T a wonderful man and a wonderful father. A very bland T, you know?

A very bland T, but a nice guy. He's sweet now. He's a sweeter T. He's a very sweet T. Does your father's, I guess your mother-in-law, does she have big tits and a fat ass? She has extra toes. Extra toes?

How many? Hey, I've seen her toes. Probably like six. Six extra toes? Or two extra toes. Wait, wait, wait. She has six toes. I think wait, wait. Six toes. I think what I have an issue with is the word probably.

No, because one day she's wearing sandals and I looked down and I was like, oh, she's got more toes than usual. When you've got more than five, it's so many it's hard to figure out. I don't want to count them out loud. That'd be rude. One toe, two toe, three. You got like figure out. I don't want to count them out loud. That'd be rude. One toe, two, three. You got like seven toes. Miss him, kill him.

Well, that's great. She's cool as shit, man. I love her. And so your dad really loves all the six toes on her. Oh, he licks them probably. I'm sure he loves those toes. He licks the shit out of his feet. You know what I mean? My mom made a lesbian. My mom's lesbian now, which is really cool. Mom's eating coochies, getting farted on the face by coochies. What a progressive family you come from.

What did you say? Progressive. Oh, yeah, yeah. Everyone's doing pretty weird. You know what I mean? Everybody's doing weird. How is your mother? Now, your mother is dating, I assume?

No, she's married. What's dating her, you mean? Your mother, is she dating a gal? Yeah, she's married to Was dating her, you mean? Your mother, is she dating a gal? Yeah, she's married to her. Oh, she's married to her? Yeah. You can do that in D.C.? I think you can.

Or she either went to some other state and did it. Have you ever discussed the ins and outs of cunnilingus with your mom? Just figure out how you actually pleasure a woman? Jokingly, I would. Seriously? Yeah, I probably would ask her. Oh, but you haven't yet? No, no, no.

She's cool people. You should donate semen to her wife. That way they can have a kid just like you. That's disgusting. That is fucking disgusting. It's grosser than putting bull semen inside of his body. It's like, yes, me again. You're a goddamn monster.

That is some Terminator 2 shit. That is disgusting. That is like some John Connor shit from Terminator 2. Are you attracted? Are you at all attracted to your mom's girl? I haven't met Ebony. Her name's Ebony. I haven't met her. Ebony?

Yes. What's your mother's name? Alice. Alice and Ebony. You're going to say Ivory. It's not possible. It's not possible. It couldn't happen.

No, there's no way. God wouldn't let that happen. That is the most 1970s activist lesbian couple name ever. Here's Ebony and Alice. Yeah. Yeah. That's some milk shit. Yeah.

Oh, my God. That's my life. I would love it if my dad divorced my mother and just turned into a lesbian. I'm sure my dad's ego is like, you know, because. No, his ego must be bigger because, you know, it wasn't because he was. This is what I always say If you're going to leave a dude for somebody else, just lie

even if it's not true and say you're leaving them for a woman Because I'll be like, well, whatever It's not my fault I can't even do anything about that And then he got someone else who's technically more woman More feet? Six more toes More of a toe thing than anything.

You'll never be able to be what she is. I literally only have five toes. I've ten total toes, so yes. She has more on her second pinky toe than you have on her little pinky feet. And while we're on the subject of women's issues, a woman who purchased a box of tampons Sunday at a Utah store returned home to find that the feminine care products were filled with cocaine.

Oh! That is the funnest way of absorbing a drug I could think of. That's amazing. Why would you turn it in? Why would you tell anybody? How did she find out? Did she put it up her hoo-ha

and get all hopped up? I don't got no cramps no more! I don't got no cramps no more! I don't got no cramps no more! Her name was Cindy Davidson. She purchased the tampons at the MPS store, which describes itself as a quote, salvage and freight

recovery company that sells its products in two stores in Salt Lake City. The cut-rate retailer sells a variety of merchandise that it obtains from, quote, misdirected or damaged freight. Some janky-ass, probably gonna

be damaged anyway, tampons to stick in her cooter. Do you know what the tampons were called? The brand name? No. Boots. Boots! Maybe she's just one of those women that before she inserts every tampon, she smells it like it's a fine cigar.

Oh, girl, you bleeding? You bleeding? Go put a boot in it. Put a boot in it. Bitch, get some boots! So redneck-y. Yeah, that's I can't even think of anything That's disgusting

That's gross Who is that Let's pick it up I've never heard of this I've never heard of a boot tampon before Is it a generic brand It is a cut rate tampon Produced by a British based

Health and beauty conglomerate Oh yeah boots Boots is like Yeah yeah yeah Boots is like Dwayne Reed over there. It's like they're like, it's their Walgreens. It's Boots. It's a chemist.

By the way, Sarah, thanks for sticking the ring and phone in your vagina. It's all Boots-ter. But this product works, though. Boots is good, Sarah, or is it bad? Yeah, no, Boots is good Sarah Or is it bad Yeah no Boots is actually A pretty high class establishment It's like What is one of our nicer

Like Rite Aid is kind of gross Right Walgreens But Walgreens is nice Walgreens yeah And they've got Good All kinds of good products

So how did they make it over here Well it was probably Well because From misdirected Or damaged freight Okay It was seriously misdirected So it's

British cocaine tampons Misdirected over here Maybe all the was seriously misdirected. So it's British cocaine tampons misdirected over here. Maybe all the Boots tampons have cocaine in them. It made it all the way to Salt Lake City. Damn. Let's be honest. Maybe that's how they transport them. They put balloons up their ass sometimes. Maybe women put the tampons in their...

No, what they did, the stash was hidden inside the applicators. What does that mean? Wow. I got this one. Unless you want to take it, Jackie. The stash was hidden inside the applicators. What does that mean? Wow. Sarah, explain applicators. Oh, I got this one. Unless you want to take it, Jackie. No, no, no.

You have that. Okay. The applicator would be the piece of plastic that pushes the tampon into your cooter. So you kind of, it's like the tampon is hiding here inside the applicator with a little like plastic thing sticking out and you push it. Can you show me your vagina? Yes. Yes.

I don't understand how. She could, Jermaine, but it would take hours. It would take hours to show you. It's a long vagina. Long vagina. It's just Madhouse. I can't believe she fucking turned it in. Well, what else are you going to do? If you find cocaine and you do cocaine,'t believe she fucking turned it in well what else are you gonna do if

you find cocaine and you do cocaine i think you turn it i guess you can't do it if you find it people who are innocent to society she opened it up and she's like are people looking for me do they want this cocaine i better deliver it back to where i got it track down she might thought it was track down she's like csi probably you know what i mean this guy panicking shit i would too i mean i would just do it I would just take the weekend. Also, you don't know if it's cocaine. You've never done cocaine before. Yeah, how does she know it's cocaine?

Well, she was a 39-year-old mother or two. I mean, look at Eddie. Look at this woman. I mean, she looks like an ex-Cokehead. Yeah. I mean, this woman... I mean, she's had a two-to-two in her life. She's a Chelsea Handler.

Wow, she's 39? She looks great. She does look worse. She does look pretty good for 39. I mean, that dye job is pretty bad. That's a midlife crisis right there. Oh, she's 39? She looks great. She does look pretty good for 39. I mean, that dye job is pretty bad. That's a midlife crisis right there. Oh, that's fine. She looks great. And now it's time for a segment from Holden McNeely. Password!

The word is the turd. Alright, so we're going to start this off over... Alright, so reigning champions, Jackie and Ed. You each have your passwords. It's going to go this off over reigning champions, Jackie and Ed. You each have your passwords. It's going to go back and forth here. Jermaine, pay good attention because if you haven't done this before,

the teams are Ed and Jackie versus Ben and Jermaine. I'm retarded. Is everyone else playing? No, no, no. It's just the two teams. We get to pepper it with witty dialogue. Oh, okay. So you guys are in charge of witty dialogue.

It's going to be Ron, don't talk. I will be wit. James, you're on it. So how many words do I use to all these words in the first round? If you It's going to be Ron, don't talk. I will be with James. I mean, I will write it up. So how many words do I use to all these words in the first round? If you can get through the whole thing, you get a 10-point bonus. How long is my set? It's one round each. You got, what, 45 seconds?

Yeah, 45 seconds. Well, let's do a minute. 45 seconds for six words? Let's do a minute. A minute. We're going to do a minute. 10 seconds a word? Do it in a minute, okay?

For each word. So you go all in one go. All in one go. Okay. It's going to be, We're going to start it off I think we'll start it off with Jackie I'm nervous I'm drunk

We'll start off with Jackie and then the next one will be Ben I feel good about that So Jackie are you ready You give one to two word clues And you have to guess every time or she can't move on Is it just one round She can skip If you want to skip a word, say pass, but I'm saying you have

to guess a word before she can give another clue. It goes back and forth. My word? Cunt. Cunt? There you go. Jackie? I'm ready. And your mark? He didn't say anything to me. Are you ready yet? I'm ready. And your mark? He didn't say anything to me. Are you ready yet? I'm ready. Are you ready? Jackie, on your mark, get set, Marcus, go. Big shit.

Dookie. Whoa! Wow. Last president. George Bush. Whorehouse. No, no. George Bush Jr.?

No, George Bush is on there. Whorehouse. No, no. George Bush Jr.? No, George Bush is on there. Whorehouse. With Madam. Oh, Brothel. Fat Host. Kissel. Bang Kissel. God damn it.

Waterpipe. Bong. NSYNC. Boy Band. Waterpipe. Bong Hit. NSYNC. Boy band. Water pipe. Bong hit. In-sync. Hookah.

Bong, joint. Two liter. Two liter. Oh, um, um, um, the, uh, fucking. Press falling. Uh, the two liter. Press. Yeah, but that's a call it.

Uh, it's a water bong. In space. What is it? You drink them all the time. They run in Pepsi bottles. You put the tinfoil on your. You drink them all the time. They run into Pepsi bottles. You put the tinfoil in your punch hole. I've never seen you so red. Done.

Damn it. It was nigger. It was nigger. The word was nigger. The word that Jermaine can say. Still, you got 20 points on that one. That was good. I should have thought so much better.

What were the other words? I'm actually going to do it. What were the other words? I'm going to grab a bong on my fucking cell phone. Last one is cannibalism. Cannibalism. I would have nailed it. You would have nailed that.

God damn it. It's only one word that I can say to Jermaine. One to two words. One to two words. Jermaine has to guess every time. You're going next round, so don't worry about your words right now, Jermaine. Don't worry about yours. Okay?

You just got to guess his word, his password. Are you ready, Ben? All right. You ready, Marcus? Ready. On your mark, get set, Ben, go. R-Bambo. What?

Rhyme. Bambo. Rambo? Rambo. What? Thing. Wait. Ben Rambo. What? Thing. Wait. Ben, like.

Fat chest. No, he has to guess. Boobs? Chest? Titties? Boobs? Boobs? Ben.

Blank Ben. Blank Ben. Clock? Don't say any more words Skip it man Skip it Pass My grandfather

Right KKK Supremacist German Hitler Nazi Fuck Supremacist German Polish Hitler Nazi What? Yeah alright

Oh fuck Military dude Who killed Jews What happened to what? Booth Lincoln Done He got assassination

Alright he got assassination So you got 10 Terrible I'm sorry buddy I didn't do good Everyone else got it got assassination. So, uh, you got ten. Terrible. Oh, my grandfather. I didn't do good. Everyone else got it. Big boobs, man. Try to help him out, Ron.

Try to help him out. Why'd you say double D's? Big boobs. I didn't know double D's was your fucking thing for big boobs. Alright. Alright. You're right, though. Alright, Ed, It's your turn. Yeah.

Alright, Ed. On your mark. Get set. Go. Balls holder. Sack. Screwed him. Cashews.

Nuts. Nutsack. There you go. Why couldn't I say more than... My father. You're fucking My father Bastard His religion Jew

Jewish Alright Clothes hanger Wire Keep going Why hanger Wire hanger. Wire hanger.

Why would you say the same thing? Needless baby. Needless baby. Orphan. Wire hanger. Abortion. There you go, baby. I'm skipping the next one. Can I skip?

Yeah, yeah, pass. All right, all right. Gay tech. Kellen. Marcus Parks. Chris Fairley. Done. Did you get it?

What'd you get? Did you get Marcus Parks? Yeah. What'd you get? I feel like we don't have a perfect score here. This is fucking bullshit, though, because I always totally couldn't say more than two words. You can't. What did I say? He's made me say it in full sentence. When? When did he say it because I was told I couldn't say more than two words. You can't. What did I say?

He's saying full sentences. When? What did I say? I was specifically saying two words. He said, needless baby. I was told that I could not fucking say more than two words. All right, Jermaine, are you ready for this? That's all I'm saying. All right, let's do this.

I'm ready. Okay, on your mark, get set, go Oliver Twist Gay faggot Oliver Twist, baby in basket That's five words Oliver Twist, baby in a basket Is it Kevin Barnett's?

This first word is not necessary Moses Give me another thing Batman, Jim Carrey The Riddler Oh, perfect, Goku Moses. Nope. Give me another thing. Batman, Jim Carrey. The Riddler. Oh, perfect. Goku.

Fucking gay faggot. Vegeta. Goku, Vegeta. Vagina. Anime. Anime. Gay faggot. Alright.

Kevin Barnett. Gay faggot. Online game. Favorite Kevin Barnett. Gay faggot. Online game. Favorite Kevin Barnett. Skyrim. No. No, no. I know it.

I know it. I know it. Come on, nigga. Gay faggot. Okay. Erkel. Pass, pass. Erkel.

Erkel. African American geek. Kevin Barnett. No. All right. God damn. Y'all lost so far. Island. An island. I mean, just. I mean. No. God damn. Y'all lost so far. Island. An island.

I mean, just... Really? An island. Fuck you. Fuck you. Hey, by the way, y'all lost 40 to 15. Oh, well. It was orphan of a number one.

Sure. Jermaine, it wasn't your problem, though. Kissel, you're bad at games. Kissel, you're bad at games. The Riddler. That was awesome. Yeah, I did get the Riddler. Kind of fun. But noneisly, you're bad at games. Kisly, you're bad at games. The Riddler. That was awesome. Yeah, I did get the Riddler. Kind of fun.

But none of these, it's kind of weird, none of these were gay faggot. None of them were. Know that next time you play the game, give him a couple pepper with a couple gay faggots. Two gay faggots. Possibly compete in a goddamn game. God, that's weird. Well, I guess I was just in a different headspace. Next time.

Next time. That was actually very fun. Well, that was fun. That's weird. Well, I guess I was just in a different headspace. That was actually very fun. Well, that's great. Well, that's going to end the whole episode. You didn't even try, Kizzle. Don't even say that we cheated. We didn't. You didn't even try.

I didn't say that, Jackie. And by the way, the winner is Jackie and Ed. Yeah! That was for niggers. Like, nigger was their word, and that's not fair. You wanted it. Why did you want that so bad? That's not fair. He knows.

He can only say the word, and I could have said the word. That was fun game. That was actually really fun. All right. That's great. Well, that's been the roundtable, gentlemen, for Jackie Zabrowski and Larson. Hold it, McNeely. Thank you so much for being here, Jermaine.

No problem, man. I have nothing else to do. You were just so much better. So much better than Kevin. And you were great. There, guy to the left. James won, James. Ron, you were good.

And Sarah, you fucking... You really nailed it, too. God, what a performance. You're an octopper. You have an october chest. No, you didn't. You actually made the whole show bad again. It was really weird.

There's something about having you in the room that makes the show worse. Ben really... Anyway. Can we fucking go home, Ben? Ben sucks at games. Yeah, you suck. All right. For the roundtable, gentlemen, Jackie Zebrowski, Ed Larson, everybody.

Holden McNeil. He's there. Thanks so much for being here, Jermaine. Oh, by the way, Living Color will air sometime mid-May or early June. Oh, wow. You're successful! Shut the fuck up!

Bring back Jim Carrey! Bring back Jim Carrey! It's going to be terrible, y'all, so yeah, watch it. Watch it. You just gained yourself eight listeners, all from like Thailand and Cambodia. Oh yeah, guys. Great stuff.