The Roundtable of Gentlemen - Sniff the Crotch, Sniff the Ass

Episode Date: January 22, 2018

On today's Round Table, the gang discusses a teenager trapped in a bell tower, a donut eating contest resulting in an arrest, and mortuary switch 'em ups. In the chuckle hut - Henry Zebrowski!

The story must be told. The story must be told. Ooh, ooh, teacher, pick me. Yes, little Brandon, she wondered. He stood up and then pulled his eyes down as hard as he could. The white goo fell down his cheeks. That's the right answer, she said. Hey there, The Story Must Be Told Season 2

coming to Last Podcast Network January 30th at lastpodcastnetwork.com. It's going to get you. The round table. Gentlemen. Hi. Let's broaden our minds. Lay on, gentlemen, and let them know what's what.

Fire at will. It's time for action, gentlemen. Gentlemen of the round table. What's the topic of discussion? Civ action, gentlemen. Gentlemen of the day, what's the topic of discussion? Civility, gentlemen. Always civility. I'm missing all of the great sports for this, so come on. We are the Jumbo Shrimp. Here to play a game.

Keep you live updated. We are the Jumbo Shrimp. Here to play a game. All right. Go Jaguars. Go Jaguars. The Wars. They're up there at 2017.

Three minutes and 57 seconds left. If they win, they go to the Super Bowl. But more importantly, they beat the Patriots. Absolutely. Get these Jacksonville fans excited for sports in their town, and the Jumbo Shrimp will prevail. Absolutely. I'll be giving live updates to you guys.

I mean, it'll be well after the game. Oh, yeah, they'll know. Yeah, they'll know what happens. Is it my fault that I wore my don't care pants to the show? We've got a Kathy Zabrowski. Yeah, hat sisters. All right, this is the round table. You all know that.

Who is praying? Eddie, why don't you pray? All right, I'll pray. In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, amen. Hey, Ma, how's it going? Are you up there? You hanging out? Hey, Eddie, I'm watching the game.

Oh, you're watching the game? Who are you rooting for? I'm rooting for your father to come back, Eddie. It's a lot harder these days. Yes. Eddie, it was the strangest thing. Did your father lose a leg? Because I got one delivered to me here in heaven.

It must have been a good leg. That was actually back alimony payments. Oh, that's good. That's good. There was a very expensive toe ring, so I was able to cash that in. You actually, I don't know if you, you should be getting a kidney any day now, too. Oh, good, Eddie. I need one more of those for my collection of kidneys.

That's great. So what else has been going on up there? Not much, Eddie. You've been playing Mahjong? No, Eddie, I don't play those games for racial reasons. Oh, really? Yes, I don't like certain races. Oh, I don't play those games for racial reasons. Oh, really? Yes, I don't like certain races. Oh, I've heard about that.

Now, when you say races, like people races or like running races? Oh, when the horses are for petting, not for racing. The key to improv is making strong choices. Okay, what Ben is doing is actually technically correct here. Well, that's great. I love you. It's been a while. You don't talk to me anymore, Eddie.

I only talk to you when I do the show. I know. I miss you. And we barely do the show, so it's hard to stay in there with you. Well, Eddie, I miss you every day. I miss you every day. Every day. Eddie, I do have one.

Eddie, did you have to make my funeral a show? I don't know how to do anything else. Eddie, but with the stand-ups and the singing, it wasn't even about me. I know, I know, I know. But, you know, what are you going to do? If you could have waited a couple years, maybe I would have had some time to think it out. Bye, Eddie. Goodbye.

All right. Inside joke. Eddie makes everything a show for the listeners out there. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Best booker in Hollywood. That's right. That's right. Can't read, though.

No, that's okay. All right. Jackie Zabrowski is here. Evidently, you were blackout drunk on Friday. I talked to you. I thought you were just normal Jackie, but what do I know? Yeah, but like Marcus said, I have a specific face when I'm blackout drunk. Very specific.

You can immediately tell. It's a big grin and the eyes you can barely see. One of the characters that John Leguizamo played in the beginning of The Pest perhaps. Stinky dinky. I like to scam simply because I can. That's been a loop

in my head over and over again. I like to scam simply because I can. Most of my year has been ruined already. Just in that movie. It hasn't even barely started. I just know it's ruined. I've got to watch simply because I can. Yeah, but most of my year has been ruined already. Just a mad movie. It hasn't even barely started. I just know it's ruined. Yeah, I've got to watch it, I guess. Henry Zebrowski is also joining us.

How are you, Henry? Hey, I am fine. I am well and good. Wow. That sounds like your line. I am well and good. No, no, no, no, no. What's wrong?

You've been filming your pretty faces going to hell. You're done now. Yep. What can we expect from the fifth and final season? Wow. Best stuff we've ever done. Honestly, the best episodes we've ever shot. I will say I have four patches on my back right now,

and it's completely numb. My back is disgusting right now. You've got, like, red scabs all over your forehead. It's glue residue that I got blackout drunk after the wrap. We wrapped at 4 in the morning on a Friday and I drank until 7.30 and I'd be on a plane at 11 so I got picked up at a Niner so I didn't really clean

myself. That was days ago. Your beard is still lined with red. I can see it. The problem is I need special stuff to clean myself and I didn't bring it with me. I need like an alcohol based and isopropyl like mix that they use to take it off my skin.

It's New York City. You can buy anything here. I know, but I have to go to like a sex toy shop to do it and I just haven't built up the confidence. Now, I get a lot of fan emails sent in asking, trying to get me to ask you, will fan favorite Breast for Hands Francis return for the fifth season?

If his contract does hold up, and if he can get out of that jail in Shanghai, then yes. Alright, very good. Make sure you check out that show. Eddie, you're here. Oh yeah, experiencing lots of Shanghai's and Lowe's this week. Oh, there it is. Speaking of Lowe's, Marcus, we do

have an update on that game. It's not good news. 24 to 20. New England has scored. Cheaters! But with the arm of Blake Bortles, there's always a chance. His name is Blake Bortles? Yeah, he sounds like a bad soup.

He's like, oh, you got to eat the Bortles again tonight. Get a job, Dad. The old Bortle potty. Ahmed Larson. What's going to happen now? What is this? It's time for PlayStation shoutouts. You're a bunch of idiots. I don't think that's very nice. I'm just happy I haven't seen you. It's time for PlayStation shout outs. You're a bunch of idiots.

Well, I don't think that's very nice. I'm just happy I haven't seen you in a long time. Drew says, round table shout out. Who's better named Drew? What? Drew's a fine name. Everyone else is like Starfucker92. I like Drew.

Drew is a weak name technically. Wow. It's a past tense verb. Wow. You want it to be draw, Breeze? Draw? Draw. My name's Draw.

And I'm mad at you because you've been talking about me. My name's Draw. It's my best friend, Reed. Because you read, stronger name, present tense verb. Ah, yes, I see now drew says I'm a fucking idiot Fine name I was a lot of successful Drew's out there Nancy drew yeah Typing is a great gamer tag bitch

No, no typing this was shit on my hands because I made poopy on my hands that I couldn't wipe wipe. Drew says round table shout out costume contest winner here just wanted to say how amazing the Sandmaid gala was. Jesus Christ, this was the guy that did the awesome reptilian

costume. I thought Kepper was. Oh, Hillary Clinton. You're the one who chose the Victor. Yeah, Kepper won. That's why I said Drew. Oh, Hillary Clinton. No. You're the one who chose the Victor. Yeah, the reptilian. Yeah, the reptilian one. Hillary Clinton.

Exactly. That's why I just called him Hillary. Oh, I see. Kevin crushed it. Jackie is fucking rad. Eddie, I couldn't have won the costume contest

without you. Technically, you can't. Holden, your bump is much bigger than I assumed and was truly frightening. Mark has been a Henry. Can't wait until the next California Last Podcast on the Left show live from Spawn Ranch. Hail the round table.

That would be incredible. That's a great idea. If we did live from Spawn Ranch. It would be pretty cool. We have to clear out all the brush, but that's what we're best at. What's his bad memory? Spawn Ranch? Manson.

Spawn Ranch. Oh, Spawn Ranch. S-P-A-H-N. Does it still exist? I would assume so. You can't be honest. They burned it down. They burned down the other house.

Yeah, the plot of land that it existed on is still there. Of course, they can't dig it. That's what I'm saying. Wait, is that Gatman? We're sharing a mic, Henry. Come on. I'm sorry. Send it to space.

Coltis says, Dearest Holden, I thank you for reading my earlier shout-out. You were a delightful fellow. If I am to be honored with a second, please once more tell the round table they are swell. Kevin has a fantastic voice and should read to the elderly. Ben, if you'd like, is always welcome to run for governor of Idaho. It would supply Jackie with endless Idaho spuds, and he'd be closer to those abandoners.

Ed and Henry, though Idaho is firmly a Garfield state, finally. Oh, those abandoners, Ed and Henry. My bad. Though Idaho is firmly a Garfield state, finally, please tell Marcus he is my favorite. All right. Thank you very much. Thinly sliced goods. Really, Garfield is, I mean, Indiana is the most Garfield state that there is.

Is that where Davis is from? That's where Jim Davis is from. Yeah, and in fact, Mike Pence, when he was still just in Congress, he tried to install a National Garfield Day. Oh, really? Well, because Mike Pence, he was a cartoonist in his own right. He would be a great president. Do I like him now?

What the hell's going on? You have no choice. There's actually a picture of Mike Pence on the Senate floor with a picture of Garfield popping out of a birthday cake. It's all so dumb. You know what? These are fucking like half the laws we don't need. That's something nice.

There it is. Thinly Sliced Goods says, Hi, Holden. My boyfriend and I are huge fans of everything LPN related. Can you give the Loudest birthday shout out To him in the form Of one massive Ho

It's his favorite part Of every episode Can someone also Compliment his luscious Nose hair Thanks I hope your honeymoon Is the slimiest event

In human history Your honeymoon Yeah We're not even getting Married for a year I don't even know When we're gonna get married I know we are gonna get married

But for the love of fucking God Planning a wedding Sucks a fucking Just shove the shit Back in the love of fucking God, planning a wedding sucks a fucking, just shove the shit back in the ass. We're certainly making it a long process. You're literally, how long is this process? Two days and years, sir.

Days and years. What happened was, we had a venue, then they tried to like jack up the prices, then it fell through, and then we were like, ooh, and it's just everyone going like,

my don't care pants are just like hiking up. Oh no. Faze Fousey says Holdenators ho from Singapore. Wow. What's the difference? I was really excited to see new episodes from you guys because your humor spoils me.

Ben, it would be great to see you on the news when you're president. Marcus, thank you so much for your hard work. I love Last Podcast on the Left. Eddie, how much can Jeff Ross lift? I mean, he has 25 pound dumbbells. That's it! More information I should have gave you. Really? That's actually lighter than I would

expect. Kevin, homo thugs makes me feel weird on the inside, but I love shitty robbery. I forgot about homo thugs. Remember that? Jermaine has a show on CBS? Yes. But watch Homo Thugs. It's better. No, it's a beer or donuts.

Check it out. Jackie, how are you beautiful? And then it's an email with a little cowboy hat on, grinning. Like, I'm not allowed. What does that mean? Exclamation point. It's not a question. That's the strangest way to give a call.

How are you beautiful? It could have been like a real question he wants Jackie to answer. Yeah, how are you beautiful? Possibly how beautiful you are. Oh, maybe. How beautiful you are. See, I'll accept that, but mostly I just drink a lot, but I also moisturize. That's true.

That's true. With her vagina juice. There you go. It squirts all the way up onto my face. Oh, well, absolutely. Siege. Oh, Holden, come play Rainbow Six Siege with me. I need all the help I can get.

Love you, fuckers. Ace Vegas says Ho I love everything you guys do Keep bringing the funny bird Luger What up FreakyStyly93 says Holdenators

Ho Shout out for the podcast Listen to Dirty Roofers episode And I went to school with that weirdo Farting on kids He was just as weird when we were kids I can tell you Huh

I don't remember the Farty Roofer I imagine we covered it though I bet we did. That's one more. One more. A for Extreme says, PlayStation Network shout out. Hey.

Great. All right. There it is. Kevin Barnett coming in from Peoria, Illinois. Yeah, I'm fresh off the plane, man. I'll tell you, I've never been to Peoria.

How was it? Wild. Wild stuff. Yeah. It was crazy, man. Wildest thing about Peoria? Oh well alright so well I ended up at some frat party some frat house for a while and after that like we gonna take y'all to this club like where's that oh it's downtown it's the hood though man it's got bullet holes all in it and

it was full of bullet holes but like but y'all good. Peoria is a dangerous town, man. Yeah. But the craziest shit was it was like a newer, it's a club that hadn't been around for a while. They're like, oh, it's not doing so well. I was like, oh, why not? We get there. The place, it's a Saturday night. They didn't open the bar until 11 o'clock.

What? Normally, that's when they open the bar, is at 11 o'clock on a Saturday. They don't start the bar until 11 o'clock on a Saturday. How late does it go to? I think it's Perry Hilton. It closes three or four, regular time. Well, why would they, what? So what were people

doing before that? But the craziest shit was one of the guys knew the owner and told the owner we were coming and the owner was like, what do y'all like to drink?

We're like, oh, it's Bullet, Maves, and Tito's. The owner opened the bar an hour late because she had to go to the store to go get a Bullet

and she couldn't find it. She had to go to like 10 different stores She's supposed to be the store. Yeah. But also, what did they have if they didn't have bullets? Just a bunch of bullshit. Reminds me of that Super Bowl show. The Super Bowl show that we did where Brian didn't have a TV.

Oh, yeah. Didn't have a TV in the bar for the Super Bowl show. We performed that. And then he was making wings, but they were at his house in Brooklyn. We had to leave and go back to Brooklyn from Manhattan. Well at his house in Brooklyn. We were and leave and go back to Brooklyn from Manhattan. Well give a little context. We were booked on a show for the Super Bowl. I believe you booked it Eddie once again. No I didn't.

No I did it. You didn't book this? No I hosted it because I was booked on the fucking show. How do we even know the people that booked it? Because he hired me. Yeah we knew the booking agent. It was a promotion company. Alright, we knew the booking agent. It was a promotion company. The Wendigo fuckers.

All right. Went to the thing. There's nobody there and no working television. And then he said, oh, I forgot. I need to finish the wings, which were in a different borough an hour away. And so he left all of us in the dark at the show with no screen. In a silent room. In a silent room. It was one of the greatest Super Bowls of the past 10 dark at the show with no screen. In a silent room. In a silent room to perform.

It was one of the greatest Super Bowls of the past 10 years, the Ravens Niners. Yep, I missed the whole thing, and he came back with, I want to say, 20 wings, which were devoured immediately. No, no one ate them. No one ate them because they were gross. They were bad.

They were bad. Yeah, man. That was the worst Super Bowl I've ever been a part of, and I will forever remember it. I don't think that was even there. I think that honestly is true. I think you booked it, and then we got involved, and then you were like, I can't murder.

I'm trapped. I'm trapped in a bag of pulled pork. No, the Ravens Niners, that's the Super Bowl that we went to Knott's Berry Farm. We were in Los Angeles. Yeah, you guys were having a fun time. We were having a great time eating animals. Eddie, you booked it, though. I did not book it!

You booked it! I had nothing to do with it! Eddie, you booked so much. I would never book a show during a Super Bowl. What? No, he did not book it. I remember the guys asked us, and they asked you, and you were like, oh, yeah, I guess the TV will still be in there, so we'll watch it, and it'll be fine.

Don't blame me for your horrible decisions. I didn't do it. I didn't make you run your stuff seven years ago. Ed has booked us on hundreds of awful shows. I'd say 20 awful shows. But this was not one of them. This was not one of them. This was not one of them. I booked it.

I don't think I booked it. You didn't book it. We just all said yes. The magic of that particular organization is you somehow just find yourself booked on the show. You somehow said yes, but it happened in a dream. And we all also agreed to do the show because the show was supposed to be over by like halftime. But because he had to go back to his house and get the fucking wings, and because not a single person showed up, the show started, I think, an hour and a half late. Why did we do the show?

There was one angry man sitting on a couch with his arms folded, staring at us as we performed. It was a fucking shit. You know what? Come to New York. Learn what it's like. There it is. I apologize, Eddie. Every show can't be a winner, Ben. Eddie is stewing over here.

Eddie, feel free to defend your choices. Yeah, I'll tell you what. You don't get on stage, so you don't ever get good. What's wrong with you? There it is. You lazy fuck. Yeah, you're lazy. Oh, he's a little upset now. No, no, no. I'm just looking at my... I'm not free for your bad decision.

Years long This is a years long fight. Long, long fight. It's powerful. It's the power of friendship and the power of show fight. It's just a long, long fight. It's powerful. It's the power of friendship and the power of show business. It is. I thought the whole thing was beautiful. Yeah.

Which y'all just had there, man. Oh, powerful stuff. I wanted to talk about financial situations, but we're all doing fine. Yeah. What? What are you talking about? Everyone's doing fine. You want us to go around the room and all talk about how much money we have?

Do you want to look at Kevin and ask how much money Kevin has? Oh, it's a final. The Patriots won 24 to 20. God damn it. All right. Evil triumphs once again. I know. That's all I know about the ball games.

Evil is stronger. Okay. So we're all up to date. Henry, how much money is in your personal checking account? Are you talking about liquid or in my mutual fund? Oh, my God. Okay. So we're all up to date. Henry, how much money is in your personal checking account? You're talking about liquid or in my mutual fund? Oh, my God. Okay, all right. All right, enough.

We're not talking about money here. Good Lord almighty. We're not talking about money. It's not real. Classless. Bitcoin. I got $35 in Bitcoin. Do you?

No. I don't even know how it works. Honestly, though, can I ask a question? It's cryptocurrency. How does one purchase Bitcoin? It's cryptocurrency. How do you have to be a pimp and you've got to sell women and then they will take the Bitcoin? Okay, you download the app Coinbase.

You create a Coinbase account. Now you're logged in. Look at that daily volatility. Add a payment account. You're ready to buy. Oh, no. Tap the buy button. What does it do?

Buy Bitcoin, hold on to it. It appreciates it. Do you have Bitcoins, Kevin? Man, I used to use it, and I don't have any left. No, you didn't. How did you use it? Silk Road, baby. Would you buy on Silk?

What did you buy? Anything. Drugs. He was buying drugs. You wanted somebody killed in a specific way, you could do that. That's awesome. Well, you should have held on to it, Kev, because you made a lot of money. But now the bubble will be bursting.

But yeah, I invested in Sonic the Hedgehog rings. Like actual giant gold floating rings. I have a closet filled with them. And they will appreciate in value eventually as soon as Sonic becomes popular again. Your marriage is not going to last. There's going to be so many problems. There it last. There's going to be so many problems. There it is. So many problems.

She already knows the problems, though. Evidently, she's fine with them. Yeah. She has settled. So deeply. All right. Would you not? He is still engaged.

We have to treat it with some respect, despite the fact it's holding in. She's too good for him. I remember I did a gig in Vegas one time, and the people who I was doing the gig for also owned a restaurant bar outside of the Strip. They're like, come on down. We'll get you a steak. I was like, sure. I show up.

It's the fucking worst, smokiest bar in the whole world. They have a Bitcoin ATM. And I was like, what's this for? They're like, oh, the only people who use that are Johns and pimps. And I was just like, oh, cool. And then they had video poker. And I'm like so when you guys she's like we don't make any money on food or booze or anything we just make money

off of the bitcoin machine and the video poker and i was like don't you like feel bad like like just like kind of just like playing off of people's vices all the time and making all your money off of that and she looked at me like i had like 10 heads oh. That's totally different than what a steakhouse does. Oh, don't you ever malign a steakhouse. All they do is play off of it. They see Eddie, and they're like, what a mark. That is amazing. If you run into a steakhouse, of course they recruited you.

Man, I like the big ones. Of course. I had steakhouse. Marcus, do we have any news stories? A teenager has been rescued by fire crews after he became tangled in a church's bell-ringing ropes. What? Quas ringing ropes. What? Quasimodo? Firefighters found the 17-year-old more than 40 feet in the air inside

the belfry of St. Helens Church in Abington, Oxfordshire. That was about 10 p.m. on a Friday. What's he doing in there? Ringing the bells. He was being cute. I might go up and ring the bells and he got all tangled up in the ropes. He couldn't get out again. That's he doing in there? Ringing the bell. Ringing the bells. He was being cute. I might go up and ring the bells, and then he got all tangled up in the ropes. He couldn't get out again.

That's funny. He shouldn't breed. Well, maybe. Maybe not. Yeah. The extent of his injuries is unknown. Well, it can't be that bad. He just got caught in the ropes.

Yeah, it's just rope burn. They should have spanked him. Actually, there's a fair amount of blood in this picture. Oh, really? Yeah. Look over this area. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

A bad rope tangle is really going to get you? Yeah, look over this area. A bad rope tangle is really going to get you fucked up, I think, actually. Was he supposed to be ringing the bell? Oh, he was not. He was not. 10pm on a Friday. Did Quasimodo fuck Esmeralda? No. I think, honestly, there was a little bit

of a touchy-touch. She let him see it. Kevin spacey-ed her a little bit, but at the time, it was flattering. I don't know. El Merelda. I don't know who that is. Esmerelda. Esmerelda.

The **** who couldn't get anyone but Quasimodo. She probably fucking stole from him. Oh well. I'm sure they were very nice.

A hot good couple. You're supposed to say Romani. I remember one time when I was a kid I took down my door to my bedroom and I put up beads and my mom got all mad. She's like this looks like a **** house and I was a kid, I took down my door to my bedroom and I put up beads.

And my mom got all mad. She's like, this looks like a d*** house. And I was like, you're silly. All right. Well, it's like my mom. I can't even tell half the stories of what my mom would say about going to the laundromat and the type of human beings that would work at the laundromat and what they were known for. Right. Sniff your underpants. That's what she was like. were known for. Right. Sniff your underpants.

That's what she was like. You drop off your laundry, they sniff your underpants. No one sniffed Mother Zabrowski's underpants. She was pretty concerned with a certain sect of the Asian races that would steal your underwear and your panties. I love how much you're trying to

What are you talking about? How do you speak about this because of the things you cannot say? You don't sniff them. How do you know if they're clean? All right. Because they do it before and after. They don't.

No one is sniffing as a Browse Laundromat. Well, that's quality control. That's the magic. Can you imagine having your mother walk into a laundromat, how horrified the faces are of everyone that works at said laundromat, that have to do your disgusting laundry. I'm like, my mom's brassieres are five yards long. She has like a full body.

It's like a thick coat is what she wears. You've seen her bras. When they're up there, I could put a full-grown lab. You think so, Hammock? Like a hammock into one of her bras. Yeah. To a Labrador Retriever? Yeah.

Oh, okay. I like that. Dogs need to relax too I will say I do You know After a day Where I don't feel like I was too bad

Out on the town When do you ever Go out on the town? And I might want to Reuse the pants You know I'll give My own

Just to make sure I always sniff the crotch You have to sniff the crotch And sniff the ass And see if it smells Like audibly audibly bad. Is that you guys don't do that? Nah, I just put it on.

Put it on or just try to not have anything that would be so controversial that I would have to smell it in order to wear it. Yeah, I don't reuse underwear. I never reuse underwear. I'm talking about full on pants. Oh, actual pants. Yeah, where I was like, was yesterday a stinky day? Let me make, you know,

if I'm going to reuse pants. I don't think how bad do you use pants. Sometimes I do pants two days in a day. I wear pants for two weeks straight. I don't care about pants. Yeah, I wear pants for weeks at a time. Really? Yeah.

I only do twice, and that's it. No, I wear them for weeks at a time. Yeah. Your pants are always sweating. I always use the pants, man. I wash them, you know, once a week. What are you, working at a Chinese restaurant? You got oozy knees?

I don't know. So the guy was trying to ring a bell, huh? I want to talk about Utah. That's disgusting. When you used to wash your fucking underwear in the hotel bathrooms, Kissel. I used to, keyword, wash my underwear. Technically, yeah, there's nothing dirty about that. That's like the opposite of that.

But that's the things that used to wash your underwear because you refused to pack any sort of carry-on for any sort of shows. Who else did that? John Candy from Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. He lost his wife. And the Unabomber. Gilbert does it, too. Who? Gilbert.

Godfrey? Yeah. There it is. What are you calling him Gilbert for? Because that's what his documentary is called. Oh. Isn't it? Isn't a washer-. Because that's what his documentary is called. Oh. Isn't it? Isn't a washer dryer in a lot of hotels now?

No. You have to use the sink. But there was another person that did it too that we covered. There was somebody else that was very famous. A serial killer? I don't know if he's a serial killer. I think it was Thomas Edison. Thomas Edison.

Thomas Edison. He vented the light bulb while fucking masturbating and washing his underpants in the sink. I didn't see that part. But yeah, washing your clothes is better to do. You got to wash it. Anyway, that's what I say. Yeah. Use the soap.

New story? Wait, did I tell that? Because he's talking about hotels. Did I tell that story last week? What? About Miami and New Year's and checking in at a hotel? I don't think so. No.

Oh, so I was- Another prostitute fucking take all your money from you? This is even better. No, I was just very short, but I was checking into this hotel. I don't remember what hotel it was, but it was a nice hotel with my little brother, right? And there was a bunch of black people behind us, young black people, you know? And jokingly... How did that make you feel, Kevin?

So this is exactly how it made me feel. Jokingly, I turn to my little brother, and I'm like, oh, these guys must be rappers or something. To be like fake racist. And he just laughs, right? And then we get in the elevator, he's like, you know that was Joey Badass, right? No kidding.

It was exactly what I was saying it was. That's the thing about being racist, sometimes you're right. You know? Every now and again. saying it was. That's the thing about being racist. Sometimes you're right. Every now and again. Even a broken clock is right twice a day. That's amazing. I don't know who Joey Badass is. It's like the S's are dollar bills.

That explains everything. He's a New York rapper. Oh, nice. I know one thing about the feud between... Oh my God. I have to redeem myself after last week.

Fat Albert, Notorious B.I.G. No, no, no, no, no. They did have a feud. I know that. Troy Avenue was shot by... I dare you to not fuck this up in a way that makes you look horrible. Troy Avenue was shot by... Troy Avenue. I dare you to not fuck this up in a way that makes you look horrible. No, Troy Avenue was shot by...

You're fucked. No, it starts with a C. He's a very famous rapper. He's in prison. He had a great career going. Coward Bruce. No. Chucky.

Not Foots. Troy Avenue Was shot Cavalier Charles He had a great podcast He had a great podcast You know who I'm talking about? Anyone know who I'm talking about?

Christmas Stevens Why did you say that, Kevin? When you asked Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah, you disgusting piece of shit No It is You don't have to say anything

You don't have to tell the story No, it is. You don't have to say anything. You don't have to tell the story. No, I know this. You've got to remember, I believe in him. Marcus, did you find it? Compton Carl. No. It's in New York. That won't make any sense.

Chagrined Roger. No. Crooked Robert Peterson. You know what? I don't even want to do it. I don't even want to do it. It is. Chug or fly a kite. even want to do it. I don't even want to do it. It is. Sugar fly a kite.

No, it's not. It's not. Coriander Christopher. No, it was not. Love him. No. I know who it was. It was.

They don't know who shot him. They do. The man's in prison. He had a great podcast. I'm going to think of it. Chastising Reagan. I love Chastising Reagan. I love chastising Reagan. He's mean. He's so mean.

He's always starting those brutal brawls. Judgmental. It was very judgmental. No one knows. It's not in the news. How long are you going to struggle with this? There's no answer, Ben. No, there is an answer because I was in Nashville.

The cab driver explained it all to me. He had a great podcast. The cab driver had a great podcast? No, I was not drunk. I cab driver explained it all to me. He had a great podcast. You must have been so fucking drunk. The cab driver had a great podcast? No, I was not drunk. I was on the way to the show. Well, um. No, but he explained it to me, and it's a great big feud.

Great big feud. This is it. This is it. You were trying to show how much you know about fucking hip hop. Actually, no. Ben's correct here. Ben's correct here. It was a great podcast. But you were, okay, you got his last name right, kind of.

Daryl Campbell. But what's he go by? He goes by Tackstone. No, that's not the guy. It's terrible radio. I have to be honest. A hip-hop podcast host pleaded guilty Thursday to federal gun charges in connection with the fatal shooting at a TI concert at Irving Plaza in which a bodyguard was killed and rapper Troy Ave was wounded. Daryl Campbell, who goes by Tax Stone, was arrested earlier this year after investigators revealed that he had an ongoing years-long public feud with Troy Ave.

And his podcast has the word tax in it. What are you talking about? You were wrong about it. Tax evasion? No, no. It was a very famous podcast. I remember when this went down. Tax season.

Marcus, Google tax season. It is tax season, so it might be a hard Google. Yeah, it is tax season. The podcast. You know, I have to say, to be honest, before the show, Kevin texted me and said, I refuse to wear a black person on my t-shirt for the recording so as to not suffer any more of Ben's confusion.

Oh, please. You are ignorant. Thank you, Henry. Were you thinking of the fact that Tax Stone was on an episode of Charlemagne the God? Charlemagne the God? I know Charlemagne. He believes in aliens.

You actually personally know him? I wrote for his show before they realized that I have no idea because we were in the meeting and they kept on saying Ratchet and I was like, are you talking about the part,

like the tool? Oh, Charlemagne and Friends. For two days, yeah. Yeah, and then I was trying to bring a different angle to it. Yeah. And what angle was that? Just not understanding.

Just an angle of not understanding. That's where I got my dog suit when I did their show. They let me leave with my dog suit. Very cool. That is so nice, because they assumed you didn't have any other clothes. Better you dress like a dog than run naked in the street. Thank you so much, everyone.

The cops keep stopping me. Call me naked, big man, fat boy, street man. That's a lot of names. There was one time I did. It's fine. There was one time I had to do something with Charlemagne. I was going in there, Bill, and as he was like, I just walk in and Charlemagne's sitting down. He didn't even say hi to me.

He just goes, you know this is where Tupac got shot, right? And went, huh? And I was like, mm-hmm. He just got up and he left. Yep, he tells a story about meeting a green little alien when he was a child. He sticks to it.

Interesting guy. Four years ago, Bradley Hardison gained national attention after his win in a police-sponsored donut-eating contest helped police find and arrest him for earlier crimes. Wait, what? So he won the contest and then they arrested him because he did something else? He's been charged again, this time with

robbing a donut shop. What is happening? He's also like, you don't rob a donut shop. That's cops. Get your ass. You're taken from the cops. Yeah, so he won the donut eating contest and then after he won the donut eating contest they're like, oh yeah, you're a wanted criminal.

They arrested him. And then now he has been charged with robbing a donut shop. If you have a warrant out for your arrest, stay away from cops. They look you up for fun. Do cops really eat a lot of donut shops? Yes.

Cops do love donuts. It's crazy how it's actually real. It is just crazy. What's the benefit of the donut? Sugar high. I think it's more they go for the coffee and the donuts are there. I love Dunkin'.

Can't get enough? I run on it. Jesus Christ. I'm on it. Jesus Christ. I'm out. I'm done. Yep, tap it out. I'm retired. Hardison, 27, of Elizabeth City, North Carolina,

was charged Thursday with felony breaking and entering felony safe cracking and felony larceny of... Oh, so he's good at his job. Yeah, but it was of a Dunkin' Donuts. He runs on Dunkin' as well. Oh. Not anymore. Now he runs on manin' as well. Oh. Not anymore. Now he runs on man ass.

Man ass. Who knows? Mustaches and muscle ass. Yeah. We know he loves holes. Yeah. Okay. There it is.

In 2014, he won a donut eating contest at the Elizabeth City Police Department National Night Out Against Crime event. He devoured eight glazed donuts in two minutes. I don't think that's bad. Yeah, that's not that great. I had 22 White Castle burgers in two minutes. You did, man. That was terrifying. And 12 Supakoo wings in maybe nine seconds.

I mean, the Supakoo wing thing was the most extraordinary event I think I've ever actually witnessed in my entire fucking life. They would have set this all up because eight donuts. I think the other cops were in there. There were ringers. Yeah. Eight donuts in two minutes?

I've done that. They probably knew that the donut shop thief couldn't resist. Yeah. Like Robin Hood. Exactly. Just like Robin Hood.

You would have to join the contest. This is just great police work. That is good police work. Well, police have been looking for Hardison for months as a suspect in at least three break-ins going back to 2013. Now that he was a minor local celebrity for winning the contest, police were able to locate and arrest him. How?

All right, well, he's an idiot. You can't put yourself out there like that. Being held under a $7,000 bond. It's not that much. All right. You only got to pay 10% like that. Being held under $7,000 bond. It's not that much. All right. You only got to pay 10% of that. Okay. Interesting.

Let him out. No donut is safe. You only got to pay 10% to get out? Pretty sure, yeah, most of the time. That's how it is in Florida anyway. It might be different in every state. Henry, I love your new hairstyle. What is that?

What do you call that? Balding? Balding. Hair's too long. The rest of it's too long. You look like a sticky bandit. I feel like it. I feel like I'm covered in glue bits.

And a lot of my scalp is completely dyed. Oh, yeah. No, I'm balding. Yeah, there's no fucking mistake here. And I'm also slathered in Rogaine. It's doing nothing. The back of my head is actually getting a lot of hair back. Is it giving you fun suicidal thoughts?

It's not suicidal. It's just more like I just have to think about what I do every day. I have to think about the hats I purchase. I meant the Rogaine as a side effect because I heard it gives you sort of thoughts of either sort of devastating murder. Yeah, the suicidal answer. No, you were actually answering that. The balding is giving you suicidal thoughts. No, the balding.

Yes. Well, I would say the balding is, it's inconsequential, doesn't really matter about my suicide. Oh. The Rogaine is just making me maybe more aggressive because of the chemicals in it that are going into my blood. That's what you needed. I've always said, what does Henry need?

A little more aggression. A little more aggression. A little bit more. A little bit more. I took your hair advice you gave me, and it's been working for me. Yeah, Eddie, your hair looks great. No shampoo. I love it.

Eddie, I almost think you have too much hair. I love it. Yeah. I think it's perfect, man. Thank you. Don't let nobody tell you you ain't beautiful. I don't. Exactly.

I think you actually look good. You've lost a bunch of weight. Have I? Sort of. I don't think so. I think he's just getting fatter evenly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm very lucky that I don't just grow in my tits.

You know how some people just got real fat arms? I know. I really just evenly distribute my fat. It's saved me. Biggest baby in Florida for a reason. I always feel sad about the fat guys with really, really big butts. That makes me kind of sad on the inside

looking at them, googgling around. It's tough to buy pants. Yeah. Well, and it's crazy, too, to go, you know, on my last trip to, like, Florida especially, seeing that you just live on a go-kart life. Like, you just live on those little carts. It's everywhere.

Everywhere. iPhone with a holster. Really? You got a weird local hat on from something. You got it from a Publix for free. Oh, yeah. You're wearing a Publix-sponsored shirt because you got it for free. I like it.

You're just covered in stains. Why not? Most of my shirts were given to me for free. Mm-hmm. All right, there it is. Fashion advice from Eddie Larson. So the guy is caught. The donuts are safe.

Mm-hmm. Next story. A person's brain being found in the wrong corpse by an undertaker was among incidents reported by mortuaries from 2014 to 2016. How do you tell which brain? Switcheroo. DNA.

That's interesting. Because they found the brain in the stomach. It's Crang! In the abdominal cavity. Oh my god. It is Krang from TMNT. It's a funny Krang joke, I think. That is fun.

It's a funny Krang joke. Yeah. They're just having fun with parts. They're just bored, and so they just smash into other spots, I guess. I guess so. As a mortician, I mean, like, you gotta have some fun. Does it matter? You know what?

I'm thinking, because they didn't say that an undertaker discovered a brain in the abdominal cavity of a body which did not belong to it. I'm thinking that it's possible that when they remove the brain for whatever purpose, for tests and whatnot, they don't put it back in the head. They put it in the abdominal cavity. I suppose that would make sense. Normally? Just routinely? I think. That's wild would make sense. Like normally, like just routinely? I think. Oh, that's wild, man. I might be totally off base on this,

but I'm going to see if it's true. Well, after you mangle it all around, it might not be able to fit back in there again. Yeah, and it gets all swollen and fucking nasty. It could be. Trim some of it off. You can't just, or just throw it in the garbage, right? You can do whatever you want, yeah.

I think we as human beings would tend to respect the corpse a little bit, though. Eh. In the end, you're already dead. Yeah, I think it's more for the family. Yeah, they don't care what you do with the brains. They more care about the face and the tits. I don't know about the latter, but... If our mother, when our sweet, sweet mother finally passes,

I'll be really upset If they accidentally Cut her tits off They're not gonna do that That's not how she lived I don't I understand that I was kind of hoping too

I could live in one of her breasts Like some kind of a hobbit cavern Although if we could buy A smaller coffin Because she had no breasts So we would save money I would be all about Cutting off her breasts

Can you put breasts On the coffin Just like a little breast box That just It'd be cool to have Breast lumps in the wood So you close it and it looks like a big sexy lady. That's a great idea. Kevin Nealon, Little Nicky.

He had boobs on his head. Remember that? Oh, yeah. Little Nicky reference. I have a lot of those. I love Little Nicky. It's a great movie. It's one of my favorite Adam Sandler movies.

Really? It's great. The movie would be great if it wasn't for the voice. The voice is just, I can't get on board with it. It's one of my favorite Adam Sandler movies. Really? It's great. The movie would be great if it wasn't for the voice. The voice is just, I can't get on board with it. It's aggravating. But Dangerfield's great. Yeah. As the Satan's dad.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Harvey Keitel. Oh, sure. What's the voice? Oh, it's just his shovel boy voice. Oh, shovel boy's fun. It's very annoying.

Yeah. It's a lot. I was fine with it, man. Yeah. Different strokes, man. It's making lot. I was fine with it, man. Different strokes, man. It's making ears, man. We hear it different. Any updates, Marcus, on the brain?

Did you find out? I don't think I was wrong. You were wrong. I was wrong. I was wrong. Yeah, it sounds like they're just putting in there for some sort of perverse sexual. I did find that they did do that to Roy after he was mauled by a tiger. Siegfried? Yeah. And Roy. And Roy. They did that to Roy after he was mauled by a tiger. Siegfried?

Yeah. And Roy. And Roy. They did that to Roy. What do you mean? They did what? They put a piece of his skull in his stomach for safekeeping. What?

So they could put it back on later. What do you mean? But Roy didn't die in that, right? I know. That's what it was. Is everybody just a Mr. Potato Head? Yeah, exactly. What happened?

They took out, because they wanted the whole thing, whatever was going on with the skull, they wanted it to heal correctly, but instead of putting the skull piece somewhere where it might be lost, they tucked it in this abdominal cavity for later use. Why don't they put it in a jar? Because jars can be lost. You might lose the jar. Who's going to lose a jar? You're in a fucking hospital.

Oh, people lose jars all the time. You can't just put bones willy-nilly all around your body. You can just put this shit in. It's Roy's skull piece. Put it on a shelf. Let me look into this more. Yeah, put it in your library. What are they up to these days?

I know they quit doing magic. Oh, yeah. I think he's still very traumatized from the experience. They're probably just blowing each other. Who knows? Well, I heard a long time that Siegfried was having an affair with Barry Manilow. Are they together? They're not together.

They're not together. No, they were not together. What? They were not together. Blind item. They lived together amongst tigers. Yeah, but there was like a weird asexual relationship where it was for show. Oh.

It was a great show. Siegfried and Roy. Yeah, I was right. Just hours after Roy Horn was mauled by one of his tigers, doctors reportedly removed a portion of the Las Vegas illusionist's skull. Recent reports note that the fragment was implanted in a pouch in Horn's

abdomen. The reason why they do this is so it can be returned to the patient's head when the moment is right. Put it in your fucking... I don't know. Alright, well that's very strange. It probably makes sense. You keep it flowing with juices and shit. It makes no sense. I'm not sure. All right. Well, that's very strange. It probably makes sense. You keep it flowing with juices and shit. It makes no sense. I'm not sure.

Yeah, that seems. It's called a hemicraniectomy or decompressive craniotomy. Honestly, that seems like one of those Dr. Mengele type things where it's like, let's just see if it works. And then the medical profession was like, let's forget who came up with it. Yeah, that's it. And it did work. And you're like, well, technically he was a genius.

But he also did all the cutting the eyes out of the twins. And they were going to have to yada, yada, yada that. The skull cannot simply be placed in a bedside jar. Fragile bone marrow will wither and die unless preserved under optimal circumstances. Either frozen or kept close to a warm circulating blood supply. So do that. That did that. That did give you two options.

I did do that. Wouldn't it be kind of cool? Honestly, this may be controversial, but you take a bunch of people that are in comas that may not come out and we make them little organs and bone, like little like ovens, where you cut them open

and you put this stuff inside them and they're alive. Like in Star Wars, when the dude fucking has to live overnight so they cut open the big monster and shove the fucking... The big piggies for organs. Remember that one?

They make the big piggies and they put all the organs in them. That's what I'm talking about. But we use it with people. But you could just use it with piggies. But what you do is with people and then you get the government to pay you a stipend to use your relative as an organ storage spot. I see.

Controversial. Controversial. Airbnb for bones there. All I know is if you're going to talk about all the bad shows that I put you guys on, no one ever talks about the good ones. All right. Still skewing. All right, please.

Good Lord. We've been sitting on that one for a while. For a fucking half an hour. Wow. Right. Wow. You always book good shows, Eddie. Thank you, man. They've been on that one for a while. For a fucking half an hour. Wow. Right. Wow. You always book good shows, Eddie.

Thank you, Mom. That's what I'm doing. All right. It's at midnight. It's called the Upside Down Show. You have to perform completely upside down. Okay? There's going to be four people in the audience. Can it be on a holiday?

Yeah. Can it be on Christmas Eve? It's on Christmas Eve. You have to stand your head, and you have to be blackout drunk for it. Great. No, Eddie, you booked some great shows, though. It's called The Screaming Clown. A clown will be screaming at you through your entire act.

Two in the morning. We're up last. And it's Marshall Mathers, the real Marshall Mathers, that Eminem stole the name from. He will be there. He's trying comedy. Five minutes of part of the show. We don't know if he'll be there or not for your part.

Oh, my God. And time, it's time for a second moment. Alien. Bank accounts. What's in them? We'll go around right now. I'm Wells Fargo. We'll pull it open and we'll see just who's got what

in the last four digits of your checking number. Gronkowski was the one who caught the winning touchdown pass. Real Gronkowski. It's not even fair. So, actually, no. All right, please. You have to come up with a law for the country that will cause the most chaos possible.

Okay? You're going to come up with a law or remove a law? No. Make a law. I mean, I guess your law could be the removal of another law. That's the irony of getting rid of laws. You have to pass a law to get rid of a law. It's an irony. That is very ironic. It's dumb. It is dumb. It's dumb and our system's flawed.

So here's my law to start. It has a couple caveats. Everyone is president for a day. Everyone is president for America. It's always America. You just said name the country. I said a law for the country. No, name the country.

Yes, I'm naming the country for all of us right now. It's America. All right. So everyone is a president for a day. It doesn't matter if you're homeless or whatever. Everyone's eligible. If you want to get on the short list, you have to kill a family member and bring their head to the White House.

That'll put you on the short list. Immediate family member or just a – Blood. Blood. So it could be like a – We could all eventually just become president. Could it just be a third – Could it be like a third cousin?

Or does it have to be like a mother or sister or brother? I'm going to say immediate family. Immediate family. Okay. Yeah. You got to really show some dedication. The other thing, only the other second caveat, you can also become the president the very next day if you can get a photo of your naked genitalia

on the forehead of the current president. All right, so it's the two caveats Okay, for the law Does the Secret Service still exist? Yes, they're right there, yeah, they're the most wily bunch When it comes to the genitalia thing So you might want to have a Secret Service With no penis balls Vagina or anything

Unix Does the president change every day? Yes, everyone is president For a day Are there always inaugurations and swearing-ins and all that? It's a terrible job. You couldn't actually do anything yet.

Being president's an awful job. You're just in there. You're just right in there. You'll get inaugurated, but we snappy it up a little bit. We make it like a five-minute ceremony right at the top. There it is. I don't want the job. I'm afraid to have it. I know, but you gotta be. Yeah, but if you wanted to, you could just sleep all day.

Yeah. Not do anything. I guess you could. People would be banging the curve. Nothing at all would get done ever. Yeah. It would cause chaos. Yes. So I guess that... Wins? Yes. Sorry, everybody. You just got fucked by the best idea. Alright.

I don't know if it's the best idea. I'll tell you what the best idea is. It's this idea, right? Every time somebody curses, the government releases bats. That's a lot of bats. And that's to be determined

by how they feel about the expletive. Bats! Where do they release the batsetive. Release the bats. Where do they release the bats to? Come on, Marcus. You know we got capes. Sometimes it just really depends on how they feel about the expletive. It could be one. It could be 33.

Where do they release the bats from? Where are you cursed? Or just from Washington? It doesn't matter where they release them from. They'll get to you. They got these caves. So that means that we all have to have certain bat sensors in us?

Yeah, well they have like a vocoder or something like that around your neck so they can hear what you're saying. And so that's where the chaos comes in because some people don't want to curse and they might do it by accident. All of a sudden, oh shit, bats are coming. But some people want to curse because they want the bats. That's the definition of chaos.

Marcus, I'll tell you something. You want chaos, I've got bats. I'm going to go no sober driving. Not to be intoxicated. No sober driving. So everyone would have a little breathalyzer in their car, you know, the ones you have to put in and be able to start it? To start it, you have to be above.08.

The cops will also be drunk? Everyone. No sober driving. In order to operate a motor vehicle. You can walk sober, and that's it. Can you ride a bike sober? No sober automatic. No, no, you can't.

Modes of transportation. No sober modes of transportation. The kids on the scooters have to be hammered. Hammered. Hammered. Okay. That is chaos. You can't walk sober. Okay. Zoos are illegal now. Let them all loose. All zoos are illegal.

The only thing that can be inside of a zoo are people. So prisons become public houses for people because technically it's more safe to be inside of the zoo prison than it is to be outside of them. Very controversial. Yeah, you know, I'm fucking ripping it up.

I love the idea. I love the zoo animals. Let them out. Because if they're going to kill you, you know what? I may as well be dead. What an awesome way. It's like getting mauled by a tiger rather than slowly drinking myself to death. If I turn the corner on Bedford Avenue When I see a tiger Yeah I just walk towards it

Tiger's not a fast death No it's not fast You scream You scream and scream You scream and scream You'll cut open your middle and it'll eat your guts Whatever Henry what do you know You're bald

Oh Oh Whatever, Henry. What do you know? You're bald. Oh! Wow. Oh! Wow. I'm obviously supposed to be bald. Look at me. Look at my body.

Look at my face. Yeah. I'm supposed to be bald. No, you are. It fits you. It's because you got thin. They're like, oh, well, because he lost the fat, he's got to be bald. You have to be bald.

I have to have a detriment. I have to have a challenge. It makes to have a challenge that makes me stronger. Yeah. Yep. Still more hair than anybody else here, though. My body is. Yeah. If you add all the stuff in your chest, you're so smart, Ben. Thank you.

It just made me think about it. There was a time in my life where getting mauled to death by a big cat was an actual concern. Yes. Yeah. I lived by this place, Lion Country Safari, and at least once a year, every two years, lions would get out. Oh, yeah, of course. And I'd have to walk home from the bus stop. It was like two or three miles.

And lions would just be out. Lions or a leopard. It would happen all the time. And everyone had some land and shit. And one of the guys had leopards and lions. And his shit got out. And I would just be walking home in this heavily forested area. I'm like, oh, there's lions out right now.

Yeah, it's like ancient, like, it's like a strong, like, caveman actual concern. I remember on the flyer for the brochure for Lion Country Safari, it was, like, pictures, because they would let the lions out, and the lions would, like, sit on your car in the parking lot. And that was, like, an advertisement. It was like, that's terrifying. Yeah, it's like the bear dump in Great Outdoors. That's different though.

The bears live there. The lions aren't supposed to be there. We went to the bush gardens at one time where they let the lions out and they were all over the car. It's kind of fun.

But also chaos. Uh-oh. There it is. I'm sure the bears were thrilled to see you and your family roll up to the car. Hey, look at them, you big old dumb animals. They don't get it.

My rule is if you can successfully take a cop's gun, you become a police officer. That's awesome. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. And actually, much easier to do than you'd think. Oh, yeah, you just sneak up on them. They got the angle on the holster. It has to be a very specific angle to take a cop's gun.

Really? Yes. Really? Oh, very hard. So you got to take their pants off. Well, you have to. You have to. See, the thing is, you know who would be specifically good at it?

The d***s. Oh, absolutely. The d***s would be specifically very good at it. The Romani police. Yes. The Romani. And so you maybe have an entire Romani police force soon

full of jangles. I'm fine with it. Yeah. Meat's illegal. Just like one day they just like switch it off like that. Just like all cow meat is illegal. You see how this place would probably improve and all of our health

would be better. I know but everybody would go crazy. Fucking bananas. Take my fucking meat from my cold, dead fucking hands. That would have ramifications through business like you wouldn't believe. A giant chain restaurant. I mean, stocks. You still sell chicken. You still sell pork.

You said meat. Meat. Beef. Beef. Beef. Cow. Cow. I said meat.

I was like all meat. I did say meat, but I meant beef. You should say all meat. Cow. Cow, yeah. I said meat. I was like all meat. You didn't say meat, but I meant beef. You should say all meat. No, no, no, no. Just beef? I think we'll just say beef. Cheeseburgers are gone. I flip out.

This is going to be a lot of chaos for you, Ed. Yeah, I think Ed would destroy the planet. Do you not think about what would make you crazy? Bats. We're going with bats. The sensible choice. Yeah, it is. All right.

Well, that's been the final round table ever. Ben Kissel, sign it up. All right. Anything? Anyone want to plug anything? Just go listen to everything on Lost Podcast Network. Go listen to everything. Podcast Network of the fucking world.

They've seen all you L.A. people here, Ed, Henry, Jackie, our L.A. troop out there. And Kevin soon. Holding it down. Oh, you're officially moving out there soon? I don't know anything. I'm going Tuesday. I don't know how long I'm going. Oh, God.

He's so lucky. He's so free. He liked that Britney Spears song. Lucky. Do you cry, cry, cry as well, though? All the time. What's the saddest you've ever been, Kevin? When he ran out of hundreds to wipe his tears with.

Are you kidding me? So rich. So rich. So dumb. Okay, talk to you later. Amen. See you, fuckers.