The Royals of Malibu - 5. My Evil Ex-Stepmother

Episode Date: February 20, 2023

Ella and Savannah are about ready to kill each other. I assumed Ella could throw hands but it really is something else to experience it. Reed Royal, of all people, came to the rescue. It's a little dashing, not gonna lie. And if you thought Ella's day couldn't get any worse. Ella is presented with the chance to start over—again. Don't worry, she'll still be living in luxury. Remember ladies, always trade up. But something about the Royals keeps her reeled in. And it's not just Dinah's creepy mid-day pajamas. Yeah, something tells me Ella plans on sticking around the Royals. Unless this love triangle blows up and Ella gets voted off the island. Why have one Prince Charming when you could have two?  Follow The Royals of Malibu on Instagram Follow The Royals of Malibu on TikTok Explore more: diversionaudio.com Tag us in your best lip syncs!  The Royals of Malibu Season 1 is based on the book Paper Princess by Erin Watt. Read the book: https://amzn.to/3kBUEhY Featuring the voices of: Alyssa McKay as ELLA SINCLAIR, Zaria as SAVANNAH GONZALEZ, Chris Cafero as REED ROYAL, Nick Cafero as EASTON ROYAL, Armen Taylor as CALLUM ROYAL, Franchesca Agramonte as VALERIE GONZALEZ, Anna Rubanova as BROOKE DAVIDSON, Maura Vincent as DINAH O'HALLORAN, Stephanie Sherry as LUCY and MARGARET SINCLAIR, and Kieran Regan as DAVID ALBRECHT The Royals of Malibu is a production of Diversion Audio. Directed by Matt Sav. Written by Keyanna Khatiblou. Produced by Aimee Machado, Emma DeMuth, and Jacob Bronstein. Production Management by Ashton Carter. Story Editing by Lindsey Ploussard. Story Development by Emma DeMuth and Jacob Bronstein. Editorial Direction by Scott Waxman. Casting by Lindsey Ploussard, Alex Vikmanis, and Mayank Bhatter. Editing, Sound Design, and Engineering by Morgane Fouse and Michael Aquino. Theme Music by Eric Zeiler. Executive Producers for Diversion Audio: Jacob Bronstein, Mark Francis and Scott Waxman. Executive Producers for Pod People: Rachael King and Matt Sav. Special thanks to Kimberly Brower, Jen Frederick, and Elle Kennedy.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Diversion Audio Last time on the Royals of Malibu, so it is obsessed with me. Whoops, you didn't hear that from me. What are you doing? Your hands are wet. I'm drying them. What the fuck? This is fucking gross!

Someone put garbage in my locker? Licking! Good! Ella! Does it remind you of home? So I, um, heard about your locker. A good guy would stand up for me even if you hated me because that would be the right thing to do when someone's being bullied. Right. Well then I guess I'm not a good guy. Nah man, you heard what Dad said.

Since when do you listen to what Dad said? I don't want you getting in trouble. It's dangerous, Reed. Whatever. Sometimes I wonder if I managed to run away from my troubles, or if I'm actually running towards them. Because as angry as I am with Reed, I desperately want to find out where he sneaks off to at night.

One note we should mention. This episode contains adult language and, subject matter that may not be appropriate for younger audiences. Please take care in listening. The first time my alarm goes off at 4 in the morning, I almost regret my decision to work at the coffee shop before school. Yeah, Callum promised me 10k a month, but who knows how long that will last. Plus, I like working, and I don't want to rely on someone else's money. The treasure cafe will give me a little freedom. Some are to escape to. Some are far away from the royal's drama.

Morning. Need a ride? I'm not going to school yet. Yeah, I heard you got a job at a cafe. Making minimum wage, I bet. Gollum's pissed. He says it'll tank my GPA. That makes it seem like we don't feed you or something.

I don't really care about keeping up appearances, honestly. I like having a job. You should try it. Well, I'm going in early, honestly. I like having a job. You should try it. Well, I'm going in early to train. I could drop you off. Sure. It's kind of cold in the morning. Yeah, the 9-11 corners like it's on rails,

but the heat takes a minute. Here, you borrow my sweatshirt. What if you get cold? Ella, take the sweatshirt. That was kind of super sweet, but I try not to think about Reed Royal being sweet. Just like I try not to notice how the light catches on his perfect jawline, or how much of his muscle shoulders and arms I can see in his white fitted t-shirt. Read and I barely say anything for the next 15 minutes, and it's surprisingly peaceful. As much as I want to hate Read Royal,

I kind of like being around him, but he's just so hot and cold. I just cannot figure this guy out yet. Thanks for the ride. Sure. Here I'll get your bag. Reed, what happened to your face? Is that a bruise?

Don't worry about it. Reed, that looks really painful. Leave it. Whatever it is you're doing, just please be careful, okay? I'll see you at school. Oh God! Oh, I'm so sorry, Lucy. I've been distracted all morning.

Yeah, it's fine. Accidents happen. Rooms over there. Just, you know, don't cut yourself. So, uh, what is it that's got you so scatterbrained anyway? I have this friend, and he's really hard to read. I have no idea if I can trust him, but I think he might be mixed up in something dangerous. I don't know if I should try to help or how to help. I can trust him, but I think he might be mixed up in something dangerous. I don't know if I should try to help or how to help.

No, I'm staying away from those brooding mysterious knives. Trust me, there's usually not much underneath the surface. Nothing would trouble anyway. Yeah, yeah, you're probably right. Hello, hello! Yeah, you're probably right. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. She's so cute. Yeah, you're probably right. Hello, hello. Earth's a Ella. Are you listening to me?

Yeah. Yeah, sorry. No worries, stoner. I'm sure you were blocking me out because you don't want to hear about my cycle cousin, but she's been dead signless at home since the locker thing, which could only be a bad thing. What more could she want from me? She humiliated me and I basically let her get away with it. She won.

Yeah, but she hates being ignored. Savannah wanted tears. She wanted to see you destroyed. She wants you eradicated. What? Am I a giant panda? Ella's sing clear. That's me.

I'm the girl's swim coach. The headmaster said you'll be trying out for the team? Oh, no. No, thank you. Well,. I'm the girl's swim coach. The headmaster said you'll be trying out for the team? Oh, no. No thank you. Well, I know new schools can be intimidating, but extracurriculars are mandatory at the Cove, and we need another girl for the relay.

You're nice and lean and tall, good shoulders. The tri-outs are tomorrow afternoon. I work tomorrow after school. I can have you try out for my assistant coach after school today. Do you know where the Aquatic Center is? I'll find it. Great! We'll leave you with Swim suit for you in the locker room and I look forward to hearing how it goes.

Hello? What are you doing? It doesn't sound like I have a choice. The school is making me swim, I guess. No, I mean, do you know who the swim captain is? You're kidding me. Do you think Savannah planned this? I don't know, but I can't just not show up, right? The headmaster would be pissed, and Kalim would find out for sure.

Yeah, but Savannah might try to drown you, and I'm kind of attached to you at this point. We can hide in the auditorium or something. Pretend to be in the musical. Do you know any Hamilton? What if I don't want to hide? What do you mean? Val, I've been running away for the last two years. It's exhausting.

Whatever's gonna happen will happen. Ballsy, but okay. I support your brave and questionable decision. Thank you. Besides, maybe Savannah just wants to talk. Oh my god, this girl is actually going to drown me in the pool. Despite my brave face with Valerie earlier today, I felt sick to my stomach all afternoon. Courage is exhausting. What the fuck? There's a locker with my name on it, and inside is a teeny, tiny, thong bikini.

Fire engine red. So small, it would barely cover my labia. And there's a note. Dear Ella, the team thought this bikini would suit you since you're probably missing your camera horror career. No need to try out. We've already seen your work. My face is burning.

I want to grab my stuff and go, but then I hear something. A voice I unfortunately recognize. No fucking way. Right of your screen. The more you tip, the more I say, hey, Ella, the star is here, everyone. Do porn stars give autographs? Turn that off, Savannah. But you're not even naked yet. The best part comes next, right?

You're the expert after all. Shut up. Aw. You didn't put on the outfit I got you. The water polo team is due any moment. Don't you want to put on a show? We told them to bring lots of ones for you. You are an evil, miserable bitch.

Seriously, who hurt you? At least I'm not a whore. Ah! You did not just hit me! AHHHHH! AHHHHH! Oh my god! What's the question?

You're a joker! You're a joker! Me? Ow! Is this the show we were promised? Is it? Ella? Oh hotwink girl!

Fuck Easton you moron! Get out of the way! Oh wow! They're actually gonna drown each other. Less hot. You're fucking crazy! I'm not gonna let you kill her. Let me kill her. I'm the latter.

No, hold on. I'm the latter, Ella. Let Ella come slag. Shut up, Savannah. I'm gonna fuck her up. Hey, you already did. You better hope the coaches didn't see that, let's get out over here. Ella, where are you all what?

Swim tryouts. Aren't they supposed to give you a swim suit? I have to go to practice. What happened? Read. Read, come back here. What are you doing here? I have some news.

I thought I'd pick you up so we can talk, but I was not expecting this. I'll try to squeeze some of the water out before I get in. Well, it is leather. Hold on, I've got a blanket in the trunk. So what's up? Your father's widow wants to meet you. Okay. Dine is around today, actually.

I was going to take you to see her, but I can tell her something came up. But technically, she was still married to Steve when he died, so she is threatening a little bit of legal action. It's fine. Let's get it over with. In the interest of transparency, there is one more bit of bad news. Dinosaur sort of hates me.

She thinks I still Steve away from her and condoned his bad behavior, maybe even encouraged him, which we don't need to get into right now, but she is requesting to meet you alone. Why not? I already had one fight today. Do I wanna know?

You do not. Okay then, we all have our secrets. I'm still soaked when I arrive at Dynast place in Santa Monica. Kalim offered to stop at home for a change of clothes, but I'm too exhausted to care. Take me as I am, Dina. The elevator opens directly into a gorgeous living space. The penthouse is dark with heavy velvet curtains covering the windows and old leather furniture everywhere. Hello? It's Ellison Claire. Here to see Dina. Hello, oh! Look at you. Dina is a tall, thin brine in flowy, expensive clothing.

Bohochique, alas leb. Late 40s, maybe, early 50s. She's looking at me like she wants to eat me. How beautiful. You look just like him. Oh, you look just like him. Oh, you're wet. Yeah, I fell. Into the ocean.

Let's get you into some dry clothes. Dynas home is an endless moody maze. It's giving haunted mansion. Uh, this should fit you. Don't worry, they're all natural fibers. We'll be twins. Are these pajamas? I don't like, they're all natural fibers. We'll be twins. Are these pajamas? I don't like to limit myself by society's conventions.

Come, meet me in the studio when you're ready, through that dough. Alone in Dina's massive walk-in closet, it's hard to imagine owning so many clothes. I pull on the most comfortable outfit I've ever worn in my life, and then find Dina in what looks like a massive art studio. Come sit T

Um, sure. Thank you. I always take mine with cream and sugar. How are you liking Malibu? It's different. You hate it. Well, I think I'm still adjusting. Oh, you don't have to be polite for my sake. I met Steve while he was visiting London for work. Obviously, everything he did was for work. I moved to LA to be with him, but I have never liked it. The people here are very different from how I grew up.

It's sort of a false casualness, isn't it? Pretending nothing matters. Wearing trainers to a false casualness, isn't it? Pretending nothing matters, wearing trainers to a nice dinner, I can't stand it. But appearances still do matter to everyone. It seems like they matter more than anything else. So you're not staying, Ben? I'm just waiting until I turn 18, then I can go to college somewhere,

or at least get my own place. Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. You do know you have options, don't you Ella? Not really. What do you mean? Well, you can live with Calis Calamroyo and his rude progeny or you could choose to move in here and live with me. Why would you want to take me in? You're my husband's child.

In a way. You belong to me more than you do to Calum. The long tear. Steve always wanted children, a daughter, actually. But I was never ready when you were younger. Now I feel like I could be your mother. I don't need a mother. Oh, everyone needs a mother.

So you knew about me when I was little? Well, hypothetically, maybe. And you saw my mother's letters. Oh, no, don't be cross. You saw them, and you... You had them from Steve? Darling, marriage is complicated. It's delicate. You're father cheated on me with your mother very early in our marriage and her presence, well, your presence, would have ruined everything, also a thought.

You kept my father from me! And I do apologize for that truly. I regret those actions now, but Steve and your mother are gone. Now, there is simply you and me. And you want me to live here? Well, I'd give you your own wing of the penthouse, and allowance, whatever you like, and imagine no curfews, no smelly teenage boys in your space. I wouldn't even make you go to school if you didn't want to.

You can do whatever you want. Why would you do that? Hahaha. Smart girl. You're sharp, Ella. I just don't see what you get out of any of this. My entire marriage Steve always sided with Callum. He always loved Callum more than me. Picked Callum over me. I want someone to finally pick me, Ella.

So, what? This is some kind of revenge against Callum? It could be fun! No. Ah, satisfying would it be to turn your backs on all those royals who've done us wrong? I don't know how I feel about that. And I don't know that they've done me wrong. Have they done you right?

A comma. We both win. Wouldn't it be nice to win for once? I don't want to hurt Kalam. Hahaha! Your naivety is really, really sweet. You ought to realize now, my dear, Kalam is only going to hurt you eventually. No, he's not. Ask him what really happened to his wife. Maria, ask him what he did to her I

Need to go he destroyed her stop it. Call him did to Maria. What Steve did to me He ignored her neglected her treated her like rubbish She turned the pills and he ignored that too until she couldn't take it anymore and she died He killed her and that's what he'll do to you Sorry, sorry, I'm sorry. I have to go. Oh, come on, I can come on. Are you alright? What happened? Let's just go. Please.

Look, I'm sure that was hard. Believe me, I know Diana can be. Kalim tries to make conversation, but... I'm sorry. I'm sure that was hard. Believe me, I know Diana can be. Callum tries to make conversation, but I'm still in shock. I can't stop picturing Diana's face full of rage and bitterness. As much as I hate the cove, I couldn't live with someone like Diana. Could I? Come in. Wow, look who's dry. Wow!

You actually have a lot of work to do. Come in. Wow, look who's dry. Wow! You actually have a lot of work to do. Come in. Come in. Wow, look who's dry.

Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!

Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow, look who's dry. Wow! You actually knocked before coming in. Progress. You're welcome. Brought you white claws. Is that what all your little girlfriend's drink?

Honestly, yeah. Want one? Sure. Cheers! To another public take- down of Savannah Gonzalez. Oh, easy there, Killer. Save her the flavor. Do you have more? Don't worry, this house is like 7 web bars give her take.

Oh, thank God for that. So, I heard you met Dina. Yeah, I did. Dina is... That shit insane. Yeah, she was around a lot when Steve was alive, but she always had this weird obsession with my dad. I think she was like jealous of him, and she definitely hated me and read. I'm sure she had all kinds of crazy things to say.

I plead the fifth. Very mysterious response, respect. Look, just don't worry about some dusty old lady in her creepy penthouse. I plead the fifth. Very mysterious response. Respect. Look, just don't worry about some dusty old lady in her creepy penthouse. Okay, that penthouse is legitimately haunted, right? Hundope, it's wild. But you made nice, let her plead her case. Now she won't try to legally kidnap you.

Oh, right. The same way that you all legally kidnap me. Hey, the door's open if you want to go. I'm sure you'd love that. I wouldn't actually. Yeah, right. You all hate me. No, we're just in an adjustment period.

Oh, okay. We're adjusting to liking you. And what do you like about me? Oh my God, girls are so needy. Hey, I had a cat fight with the homecoming queen and found out that Elvira kept me from ever knowing my father all in one day. I'm feeling fragile. So,

Eastern, what do you like about me? Well, I like your eyes. Oh shit! Going for the jugular. It's a look away from me. I contact.

I contact. I like what I've seen so far of your body. Fucking elite. Oh my god. I like your mean little jokes. I like that you don't take anybody's shit. And I like that you threw down Savannah today, even though I'm pretty sure that's going

to come back to haunt me later. Because Savannah's obsessed with you. Savannah and I are very complicated. She's a little toxic. A little. I'm a little toxic too, so we kind of make sense in the worst way. You know what I like about you. It's fucked up.

I love fucked up. Come on, give it to me. Hmm. No, never mind. Just say it. I like that Savannah is obsessed with you. And that you can't have you. And that I probably could.

Oh! I didn't want to say it! You're the toxic one, dude. She just sucks so hard, and she's beautiful and perfect, and I hate her. So I get to have this one thing over her, okay? So you think you could have me? I mean, come and I?

Oh fuck. Yes? Or no? Yes. Ow! Shit, are you okay? Yes, yes, yes. Let's talk in more, Kissy. I think we have too many clothes on.

Ella, I just want to read you. Shit! Oh, fuck! Okay then. I guess you're feeling better. You don't knock? Don't let me interrupt. Breathe, wait!

Awkward. Where were we? It's in just... Hold on. I'll be right back. The fuck? Read, wait! Read! Read please just wait! What? Ella.

I don't know. You, you looked upset. Don't worry about it. Seriously? Are you mad at me right now? You don't even want to be my friend. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, you, you looked upset. Don't worry about it.

Seriously? Are you mad at me right now? You don't even want to be my friend, so why should I feel bad about hooking up with Eastern? Then don't. I won't! You followed me all the way out here to tell me you don't feel bad? Oh, God, read, I am done with your games!

Quit pretending that you don't care about anything, even though you clearly do! This is some toxic masculinity bullshit. Wait, wait, you made out with my brother, and I'm the one with issues? Well, he's not my brother! Eastern is a mess, and he's gonna break your heart. It's not like that. It's always like that with him. You know what?

Do whatever you want. Just leave me out of it. Fine. I will do whatever I want, with whichever boy I want't got nothing left. On the next episode of The Royals of Malibu, Ella goes to Hollywood. Are you ready to get wild to me? Hell yeah!

Our girl deserves to have some fun. I like your skirt. You know you can like something without touching it. You don't want me to touch you? I guess Reed and Ella's little tiff won't keep her from blowing off some steam. You'll have to settle for the second best royal. That is the party worth the hangover. Listen, I have a proposal for you.

I'm listening. There's only one way to find out. Listen to the next episode of The Royals of Malibu. The Royals of Malibu is a production of diversion audio, an association with pod people, based on the book Paper Princess by Aaron Watts, directed by Matt Sav, written by Kiana Katty Blue, produced by Amy Machado, Emma Deuth, and Jacob Bronstane. Production management by Ashton Carter,

Story editing by Lindsay Plussard, Story development by Emma Demuth, and Jacob Bronstane. Editorial direction by Scott Waxman. Casting by Lindsay Plussard, Alex Vikmanis, and Mayang Bhatter. Editing, Sound Design, and Engineering by Morgan Fouce and Michael Aquino. The music by Eric Zyler.

Featuring the voices of Alissa McKay as Ella. Zarya as Savannah. Chris Cafferro as Reed. Nick Cafferro as Easternri, Nick Cafferro, As Easton, Armin Taylor, As Calum, Francesca Agramonte As Ballerite, Anna Rubenova, As Brooke, Mora Vincent, Asdina, Stephanie Sherry, As Lucy, and Margaret Sinclair, and Kiran Reagan, As David.

Executive producers for diversion audio, Jake Bronstine, Mark Francis and Scott Waxman. Executive producers for POT People, Rachel King and Matt Zab, special thanks to Kimberly Brower, Jen Frederick and Elle Kennedy. Diversion Audio