The Royals of Malibu - 6. Hot Girls & Guys Who Tip the Bouncer

Episode Date: February 27, 2023

After her makeout sesh with Easton and pool fight with Savannah, Ella decides that a night out with Valerie is a great way to distract herself. But the drama jacks up the next day on the Royals’ yacht when Reed asks Ella to meet him down below. Alone. Sounds hot. Well hold on to your lifejackets, because things are about to get rough. Follow The Royals of Malibu on Instagram Follow The Royals of Malibu on TikTok Explore more: diversionaudio.com Tag us in your best lip syncs!  The Royals of Malibu Season 1 is based on the book Paper Princess by Erin Watt. Read the book: https://amzn.to/3kBUEhY Featuring the voices of: Alyssa McKay as ELLA SINCLAIR, Zaria as SAVANNAH GONZALEZ, Chris Cafero as REED ROYAL, Nick Cafero as EASTON ROYAL, Armen Taylor as CALLUM ROYAL, Franchesca Agramonte as VALERIE GONZALEZ, Anna Rubanova as BROOKE DAVIDSON, Maura Vincent as DINAH O'HALLORAN, Stephanie Sherry as LUCY and MARGARET SINCLAIR, and Kieran Regan as DAVID ALBRECHT The Royals of Malibu is a production of Diversion Audio. Directed by Matt Sav. Written by Keyanna Khatiblou. Produced by Aimee Machado, Emma DeMuth, and Jacob Bronstein. Production Management by Ashton Carter. Story Editing by Lindsey Ploussard. Story Development by Emma DeMuth and Jacob Bronstein. Editorial Direction by Scott Waxman. Casting by Lindsey Ploussard, Alex Vikmanis, and Mayank Bhatter. Editing, Sound Design, and Engineering by Morgane Fouse and Michael Aquino. Theme Music by Eric Zeiler. Executive Producers for Diversion Audio: Jacob Bronstein, Mark Francis and Scott Waxman. Executive Producers for Pod People: Rachael King and Matt Sav. Special thanks to Kimberly Brower, Jen Frederick, and Elle Kennedy.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Diversion Audio Last time on the Royals Malibu? What's the question? I'm gonna fuck her up. You already did. Your father's widow wants to meet you. You do know you have options. You can live with Calus Calam Royal and his rude progeny,

or you could choose to move in here and live with me. So you think you could have me? Come in, I. Ella, I just wanted to read. Oh, don't let me interrupt. Breathe, wait! Do whatever you want. Just leave me out of it.

I will do whatever I want. With whichever boy I want to do it with. One note we should mention. This episode contains adult language and subject matter that may not be appropriate for younger audiences. Please take care and listening. Thank you Hello. Good morning, Valerie.

What's wrong? Why are you being weird? Nothing. Nothing's wrong. I'm taking the bus to work and just wanted to leave you a cute little voicemail for when you wake up, but then you answered. Something was wrong. It's 5 a.m. I'm sorry you can go back to sleep. I'm awake now. What's up? Right, so yesterday was kind of crazy. Well duh, you literally got enough fist fight yesterday at school.

Frond of Rousey? Who? No. Something happened last night at the Royal's house. Okay. I... I kinda maybe made up with Eastern. Bitch, what?

I know! Girl, does that bus go past an urgent care because you might want to get an STI test? Valerie? That's offensive. Look, I'm not slut-shaming. But Easton's a hoe! He gave Savannah mono! He did not give Savannah mono.

Hey, that's just what I heard. I'll go for you, though, girl. I haven't kissed anyone since Tam left for college two months ago. I need to get laid. A-sap. So romantic. And um, there's something else. Oh shit, what now? Readwalked in on us. Please tell me he didn't join in. Okay, Valerie, this isn't a weird 80s porno. No, he got pissed.

Well, yeah, you may not with his brother and Reed wants to make out with you. Why do people keep saying that? Bitch, don't be dense. You're hot, of course he wants you. Well, I don't have time for a love triangle. Okay, I need to focus on making the most of my time here. Malibu is really beautiful. Ah well, for what it's worth, it sounds like you're making the most of it. Two brothers fighting over you, that's every straight girl's dream, right? Plus, I seem to remember you saying that you like Dreef.

Dreef is. I don't know. He could be sweet, but most of the time he's so repressed he ends up acting rude AF. Well, if you ask me, they both suck. But if I had to pick one, I'd say read sucks slightly less. Noted. Anyway, this is my stop. Oh, I almost forgot.

Wanna go out tonight? There's a club that never cards in DTLA. Do you like EDM? That was a lot of letters. DTLA, EDM. Downtown LA, OBS. You'll love EDM. And this place always has a good DJ.

I'll come over at 7th to pick your outfit. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, that sounds fun. We can pre-game at my place too. Love it! All right, bye bitch. Call me whenever. But not at 5am.

Bye. Come to the treasure company today. What do you think, Lucy? Do you love it? This is so cool! You made that whole video with your phone. Yeah, it's TikTok. You can film it, edit it, and music, whatever.

And people are looking at it. It already has a thousand likes. A thousand people watch this? More than that. A thousand people like to the video, so maybe now they'll come in. We don't have a secret menu. Oh, I made that up for marketing. Everyone loves secrets.

We can think of a fun drink together. Can I hug you? Yeah! Okay. You know something, you are really something special, Ella. You really care about this place. I just love it here. Malibu can feel really fake and snobby.

Like it's a bunch of rich people cause playing that they're actually happy. But this place feels like an escape. It's safe. Oh, I love hearing that. Not all right, be honest with me. Are you happy? How's school?

I'm doing better, I think. You deserve everything out. Okay, I gotta finish prep, I think. You deserve everything out. Okay, I got to finish prep before we open. Oh, you want to work instead of taking my compliment? Okay, I think you. I was nervous to go back to school after my fight with Savannah, but everything felt surprisingly normal. Like, everyone was pretending it never happened. Some of Savannah's friends were whispering about it, but most people seem not to care.

Does this mean that Read and Eastern are finally sticking up for me? I was back to being invisible, just how I like it. Are you ready to get wild to me? Hell yeah! I realize that with everything going on, I'm dying for a night out. If this club is half as cool as Valerie says 34. Babe, you're a hot girl. You're sure they'll let me in? My fake ID says I'm 34!

Babe, you're a hot girl! Hot girls don't get turned away at the door. Hi, Ron. Ladies, ladies, welcome. Come on in. Thanks, Ron. You know the bouncer. You told me you were a nerd.

Is 2023 Ella? Nerds are cool now. They've turned a huge ornate old theater into a nightclub. The DJ booth is up in one of the balconies high above the dance floor. This club is fucking amazing! How do we get up there? Where? The DJ booth?

Up on that balcony? What's that, girl? You wanna be a star? Follow me. Huh. Help me, girl! Help me! Help me!

Ha ha ha! What the hell? This is so weird. Hi! Uh, we're trying to get to the DJ booth. I know Rod. And this is my very hot friend Ella. It's done, help.

Hi, I'm the un-hot friend. Hi, cool. And I thought I had pretty privilege. Did that just happen? This is so cool! Okay, come on, come get with me. I thought I had pretty privilege. Did that just happen? This is so cool! Okay, come on, cook this for me! I feel it from a state!

Why? Because of the people that they're walking in? Yes! You are such a good dancer. You too! And your body is amazing. Stop. You're going to get a both-time father and we have no one to hook up with.

No! No! No! Oh, shit! What has Eastern doing here? And is that Reed at a club? I might have run into them in the kitchen when you were pre-gaming at your place. Ah!

You invited them? I just wanted to see if they'd actually come. And they did! I'm drinking, isn't it? Wait, where'd they go? Ladies! How'd you get up here? I thought this was for hot girls only.

Hot girls and guys who took the bouncer's C-no. Ella? Looking fine as fuck. Eastern looking cross-fated. I'm gonna go get us some drinks. You have a fake? No, but I have a flask. Don't move. I'll be back. Let's take a selfie. You have a snapchat?

I used to use it for like work, but I made a new account like me. Cute! I'm adding that to my story. When do you care about social media? Wait, are we trying to make jealous? No one. Lire, I go on, post it. Thank you. I go on, post it. Thank you. I like your skirt.

You know you can like something without touching it. You don't want me to touch you? Where's Reed? I tried to get him to come up here, but he's being super weird. Of course. You'll have to settle for the second best royal. Dance with me. I like that.

I like you move. How am I doing? You actually have some rhythm. Hey, don't be so surprised. Eastern. Yeah? Don't be mad at me, but I think maybe I am trying to make someone jealous. I'm sorry.

I'll be sorry. You have someone you want? I have someone I want. I want to kiss you. Alright, kiss me. Yeah, I know. It's a terrible idea, but... We kiss. But he's weirdly sweet and...

fun and really hot, okay? So, don't act like you would do anything different. When Eason pushes me up against a wall... I can't help it. I imagine it's Reed. I wish it was Reed. I can't help it. I imagine it's Reed. I wish it was Reed.

All right, no sex in the club. All right, man, all right. You know, down a problem. Who cares that guy out here? Get your ass about it. We're getting thrown out. Yeah, because you're such a wild one. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Where's Valerie? Oh, wow. Wow, fuck. Hey. Be careful. How much did you drink tonight? Hey! No!

Hi! Jack and Coke? Well, they only have Pepsi. So, Jack and Pepsi? Tugget Bame, we're getting thrown out. Shit! Hi! Animal?

I'll catch you up later. Eason's fucked up. We gotta get him home. Yeah, I can see that. I'm fine. The way drunker than this. Eastern, Lina's Lina. Oh no.

Oh no. It's okay. Hey, straight straight straight. Oh no. You guys are strong. Hey, hey, hey, hey, there's Reads car over there. And the lights are on, so he must be waiting for you, buddy. Let's go party!

My dude, I think you're dumb partying tonight. Oh, wow. The floor is bumpy. Hey, Ethan. Put your arm around. Ooh, hot. Yeah, super hot. But when we get closer to Reads car. Oh, hot. Yeah, super hot. But when we get closer to Reed's car, oh my god, is someone fucking in Reed's car?

Woo! Get it, kid? Yeah! My heart sinks into my stomach. I know, it's not fair. But I suddenly realized that I really, really don't want Reed to be with anyone else. You okay? Yeah? Totally. Can we take you to be with anyone else. You okay?

Yeah? Totally. Can we take Houston home in your car, please? Of course. Nuh! Uhhh! You! Ethan!

What the fuck? I got the flu or something. Ethan! No! This is my future mother-in-law's car! If you can, you can, I will murder you! Don't worry. Mom's love me

No Hey, so Who do you think Reed is having sex with right now? I don't know probably some random Reed doesn't usually fuck. He's kind of like a monk. Oh No, we gotta go on the yacht tomorrow. The yacht? Who? The whole family. On Dad's yacht.

There. Seven a.m. Seven? It's gonna be three in the morning by the time we get home. Yeah, it's gonna suck. You guys are awfully quiet. I guess the ocean is pretty calming. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Baby, they're hungover. Hungover? Uh-huh. Eastern Reed Ella.

That's my ranking of most hungover to least hungover. Crushed it. Thanks, sweetie. How can you be hungover? You're all underage. Where there is a will, there is a way. Sorry, Kellan. None of you are allowed to drink.

Oh, okay. Good point. Yeah, then we'll stop. That was Starracazza, baby. God, damn it. I'm your father. You have to obey my rules. Please, like you ever cared about us drinking before Elogat here. Watch it, son. Everyone, take two of these for your headaches. Oh, thank God, it was me, Gilles.

Be Paul. God. Damn it, Brooke. Ugh. Excuse me. Those are full of antioxidants. Yeah, you only need to show some respect to Brooke, too. Okay, everybody needs to look alive and behave.

I'm taking us back to shore. Can we go back to shore? I would love to go back to shore. Oh my god, this is family bonding activity. We are supposed to be having fun. Baby, it's okay. Come on, gross. Seriously, I'm honestly not throwing up.

You're so good doing it. Can you are good, Dan? I'm trying throwing up. You're so good to me. You're a good dad. I'm trying to be. Well, I'm gonna go down myself. Ella, can I show you something below deck? Um, sure. The moment I'm alone with Reed, my heart starts beating faster.

I really thought I was too jaded to have high school crush, but here we are, I guess. Are you really making a drink right now? Air of the dog, it's science. Plus it's good for nerves. Why are you nervous? It's hard for me to be honest sometimes about how I feel. Read finally looks at me, and I'm startled

by how intensely he's looking at me. My breath catches, and my heart speeds up. So how do you feel? I, um... I don't like seeing you with Eastern. Okay. Are you laughing at me? It's just hypocritical, no? I mean, you were literally fucking someone in the parking lot last night and I can't make out with a guy.

Wait, what are you talking about? We saw you having sex in your car last night. I did not have sex in my car last night. That was probably my friend Harrison and his girlfriend. Oh. I'm not sleeping with anyone. I'm not even dating anyone. And I'm not supposed to date anyone either, because...

No, I didn't say that. I just, this is all going wrong. Listen, I have a proposal for you. Reed gets close to me. Guys never make me nervous, but Reed Royal definitely does. Is this happening? I'm listening. If you ever need to, you know, relieve some stress, I could help you with that.

Oh shit! This is happening! Kind of. Wait, relieve some stress in what way? In whatever way you want. Take off your shirt. Now? No. Good. Now your pants. Now sit.

I see some sailing rope and get a crazy idea. I can do whatever I want. If it'll help. I can tie you up with this. If that's what you want, Ella. You know, Reed, you're really attractive. Yeah. I mean, you have a literal six pack, tan, tall.

You're super serious and slightly rude. You're like the whole sexy dreamy package read. And you know what? I'm really hot too. Can you get out of those ropes? No. Good. You know, I used to make a living off my looks. I see the way people look at me when I walk in a room.

I see the way you're looking at me right now. How am I looking at you? Hmm. Like you want me. Bad. But I think it's deeper than looks I think you want me Ella all of me but instead of admitting that you're gonna pretend to be doing me some kind of favor you're helping me relieve some stress like I'm so desperate and sex

craze that I can't go without it for a week? Wait, I know. That's not what I meant. Then what did you mean, Raid? I just meant... I'm trying to help you be honest. Say thank you. Thank you. Just admit that you want me. Not just my body.

Me. I can't. Okay, you know what? You need to get over here, you go. And maybe this will be the wake-up call you need. With Ella, wait. Ella, that's... Ella, it's not what I meant.

Where are you going? See you later, Reed. Ella, come on. Untie me. Shhh. As much as I love seeing Reed tied up, there is no way I would hook up with a guy who just wants to use me as a sex toy, or at least is pretending that's all he wants. Whatever.

Maybe Reed wants me as badly as I want him. Or maybe not. But I'm losing patience for all these mind games. There's a reason Reed Royal refuses to be honest with me. And I'm going to figure out what that is. And baby, freedom never felt so free. I said fight, fight, fight To the top of the sun, where the moon can't catch you

I'm gonna bring your soul alive On the next episode of The Royals of Malibu Dad's gonna murder you, Reed You can't be messing around with this heavy shit anymore You can either come with or you can bail But I'm leaving now now before Dad gets home. Ella goes full stalker and decides to follow Reed to wherever he sneaks off to at night. Ella, don't go in that building.

Totally! Okay, bye! Ella, you could go to jail! Not dangerous at all. Maybe finally discovering Reed's secrets will bring them closer together? This is fucking crazy! Or maybe, once Pandora's box is open, Ella will want to walk away from these royals all together. I wish she hadn't seen me like that. And just when Reed reaches peak teen-ext.

So, Ella, I'd like to take you out to dinner. A new rich hottie appears. Will this one have fewer attachment issues than read? Only one way to find out. Don't miss the next episode of The Royals of Malibu. The Royals of Malibu is a production of diversion audio, an association with pod people, based on the book Paper Princess by Aaron Wat directed by Matt Sav written by Kiana Cati Blue

produced by Amy Machado, Emma D'Amuth and Jacob Bronstane production management by Ashton Carter story editing by Lindsay Pussard story development by Emma D'Amuth and Jacob Bronstane editorial direction by Scott Waxman. Casting by Lindsay Pussard, Alex Vikmanis, and Mayang Batter. Editing, Sound Design, and Engineering

by Morgan Fouce and Michael Aquino. The music by Eric Zyler, featuring the voices of Alyssa McKay as Ella, Zarya as Savannah, Chris Cafferro as Reed, Nick Cafferro as Eastern, Armin Taylor as Calum, Francesca Agramonte as Valerie, Anna Rubinova as Brooke, Mora Vincent as Stina, Stephanie Sherry as Lucy and Margaret Sinclair, and Kiran Reagan, as David. Executive producers for Diversion Audio, Jacob Bronstine, Mark Francis, and Scott Laxman. Executive producers for POT People, Rachel King, and Matt Zav.

Special thanks to Kimberly Brower, Jen Frederick and Elle Kennedy. Diversion Audio