The Russell Brunson Show - How To Be Coached...

Episode Date: November 4, 2019

If you really want to be successful, you need to learn how to be coached. On this episode Russell speaks directly to those of us who were a little hurt by his last episode about extreme ownership. He tells us why we feel the way we do, and what we need to do in order to become coachable. Here are some of the insightful things to listen for in this episode: Why Russell thinks if you were hurt by the previous episode, you need to hear this message most. How Russell learned to be coachable. And why you need to become coachable in order to be successful. So listen here to find out if you are coachable, and what you need to do to become that way. Transcript - https://marketingsecrets.com/blog/255-how-to-be-coached Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With TD Direct Investing, new and existing clients could get 1% cash back. Great! That's 1% closer to being part of the 1%. Maybe, but definitely 100% closer to getting 1% cash back with TD Direct Investing. Conditions apply. Offer ends January 31, 2025. Visit td.unson. Welcome back to the Marketing Secrets Podcast. Today, this is going to be kind of a continuation of last episode. I did a little bit of a rant. Today, I want to talk about how to be coached. So the big question is this. How are entrepreneurs like us who didn't cheat and take on venture capital, we're spending money from our own pockets.

How do we market in a way that lets us get our products and our services and the things that we believe in out to the world and yet still remain profitable? That is the question and this podcast will give you the answers. My name is Russell Brunson, and welcome to Marketing Secrets. Alright, so I know that when I stepped into this role of marketing nerd, I don't know, chief marketing nerd at ClickFunnels, the person who is coaching other entrepreneurs in how to market. I forget sometimes that I grew up being coached a lot in wrestling and in other sports and in some aspects of my life.

When I got into this business and started hiring coaches, I hired relationship coaches for Colette and I. I hired business coaches. I hired personality coaches, personal development coaches. I just am a little obsessive compulsive when it comes to hiring coaches, uh, because I've seen the value of having a coach. And I forgot about the, um, the pattern that most people go through. Um, and I'm sure I went through it as well. Um, but, uh, what happens is, and again, because I think we come to this world sometimes and I try to coach people and it's interesting because they've never been coached before.

And so, um, or, or not to the level, um, where they like, they, they thrive off it and like, and, and obsessed about it and like, and, and desire it. Right. Um, I, you know, most of the people that I know that are really, really successful, um, have coaches and they love it and And they thrive off of like the feedback and they like, they get some feedback and they're like, yes. And they just run with it. Cause they're so excited that, you know, I, I paid for this feedback. I got it from this person I trust and I just, I run with it. Um, I think a lot of times people that haven't been obsessed, um, about it, or they haven't been in the, you know, a super high level coaching before, um, they kind of go through a pattern. And, um, and so I'm gonna talk about that pattern because, um, I think a lot of people get this and I saw it

sort of the last couple of days, um, from the, from the podcast that I did put out. Um, and first off, like, I just want to say with any, any podcasts I'm putting out, um, I, the only reason why I, I publish something is because I know that it's not one person struggling with it because there's a lot of people struggling. If it was one person, I wouldn't publish a whole episode about it. When it's a pattern that a lot of people are struggling, that's when I make an episode. I don't want to just serve one person. I want to serve 1,000 or 5,000 or 10,000 or however many I can reach with my voice.

And so the lesson from the last podcast episode, extreme ownership and about publishing and being consistent, like it wasn't advice for one person. That was advice for thousands of people who are struggling. So I'm kind of put that out there. Number two, the same thing with this, like this is specifically because I saw the reaction from one person, but this is, this is coaching for everybody. Otherwise I wouldn't put it out there. Right. Um, I wouldn't waste my time or your time or anybody's time. But, um, anyway, so what typically happens when somebody is, is newer to being coached or whatever is the, the first thing that I could coach this, Hey, you need to change this first. There's denial. And there's like that grief, maybe it's like grief, suffering or whatever. There's like the different, the different layers of what happens,

right? Like first, first you, first you grieve and then you, then you get angry and then you, like, there's this whole process, right? Um, it's kind of same thing with, with coaching and those is like, um, when I first started working with entrepreneurs or somebody and I'm like, okay, this is what you got to do. And I give them like, like, like harsh feedback, like, like it's not working right. This is how to, how to change the very first thing. Um, typically it's like people get their feelings hurt and it's like, Oh, like, like you're attacking me. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. You don't sound like you hired me to be your coach. Like this is like people get their feelings hurt and it's like, Oh, like, like you're attacking me. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. You don't sound like you hired me to be your coach. Like this is like literally you paid me to do this thing for you. Like there's nothing personal here. I got it.

There's no personality. It's just like you paid me to look at you, find the flaws and try to fix them. And so I'm doing that. I think that the first, the first phase of, of someone who's new to the coaching is that it's just like, Oh my gosh, like you're attacking me. Like, no, no, no, no. I'm not attacking you. You paid me for this. Like, like you asked me to, to look at your, your problems and to fix them. And so, um, and, and that's the first phase. And I think a lot of people go through that where there's like, Oh my gosh, you kind of personally attacked me. In fact, my guess is for any of you guys who've listened to this podcast or any of mine, where I say something that kind of, they kind of irks you where you're

just like, Oh, like you get angry or frustrated or whatever. That's why, right? It's because you're out of alignment with what you're supposed to be doing. And when you hear it, it's like, oh, like I've said that before in other episodes, like if you're upset by this episode, it's probably for you, right? Because that's the first phase of it, just kind of like that, right? And so that's the first phase. Then the second phase is then people come back and they, they start trying to rationalize what they did. Like, no, no, no. Like, well, I, I, I kind of did it. I'm doing this. And like, and they come back to this rationalization of like, of, of, you know, like, Oh, I, I, I'm doing it just, it's not, it's not working or whatever. Right. And

come back to that, trying to like, again, take the blame off of them, which comes back to the whole extreme ownership thing I talked about in the last podcast episode. It's like, they're trying to take the blame off themselves because it doesn't feel good, right? It doesn't feel good. Someone's coaching you and telling you and pointing out like you did this wrong. This is the step. This is where you need to tweak and where you need to change. And so they try to take the ownership off themselves and come back and be like, Oh, well, no, I did that. It's just, there's some other external thing besides me that's causing this problem. Right? And so that's the second phase of this, of people being coached. And then from there, it usually splits off in one or two directions. One direction is

that people end up saying, screw you coach. And then they just walk away. And that's where the relationship ends. Or the second side is they, they humble themselves and be like, oh my gosh, I did pay you for this advice. I am, you are my coach. I do trust you. Therefore I will succumb to your, you know, your, your ideas and do what you said. And that's kind of the, the other tier. And so that's kind of the, the process I see people as they go through coaching is like, number one, is that it's like embarrassing for them. So they take it personal. Number two, then they get defensive and like, no, no, no. Like I am doing it kind of just not right, but I'm doing, I'm doing my best, you know? And then number three is one of two directions. One is screw you coach. I hope you die. Or number

two, like succumbing to the advice saying, you know what? I did pay for this. You're probably right. Let me just go and do it. And that's when they take extreme ownership and actually do the thing. And so that's kind of the path. And I forget because, um, you know, right now I'm coaching my boys, um, wrestling team. I see right now with the kids where they come out there and they do a move and I'm like, ah, you did it wrong. And they're like, like, like coach, what? You know, like you told me I did it wrong for everybody. I'm like, yeah, because I'm not trying to just teach you. I'm trying to teach everybody on the team because you weren't the only person that wrong. I just spotted you and I pointed it out and I'm showing us the entire team can, can learn

this, this process together. Right. So that's the first thing. And then they come back and then the second phase and the kid is like, no, I did you coach. I did it right here. Here's the move. I did it. I'm like, it technically you did it, but you did it wrong. That's why I'm pointing this out. Like your elbow was in the wrong position. Your feet, your foot workers, like you did the move. You just did it wrong. You didn't pay attention. That's why we're breaking it down. And then the third phase is like, screw you coach. I'm gonna do it this way because that's the way I did. Or, okay coach, so how did that work? Like, like, like walk me through it again. Let me, so my elbow was up. My, my, my feet were in the wrong position. Right. And that person's coachable. That's the way I did. Or, okay, coach, so how did that work? Like, walk me through it again. So my elbow was up. My feet were in the wrong position, right?

And that person's coachable. That person takes extreme ownership and they're coachable. And I can help them. They become a better wrestler, right? And the same thing is true in business. Like the same process. And so as I posted that episode a couple days ago, I saw the pattern, right? It came back and said, you know, feelings were hurt, then defensive.

And then now that person who's listening is probably this crossroads of like, screw you, Russell, I hope you die. Or, oh my gosh, I'm going to take extreme ownership and figure out how to listen with 100% accuracy, accurateness. And, you know, it's up to that person to decide what they want to do. And it's up to you, honestly. Like I said, the more you get coached and the more you're open to it and the more willing you are, the faster you skip through all the other phases. Like I'm at a spot now where I hire someone to coach me. Like I want that pain. Like I'm paying for this pain.

So I'm not going to get defensive. I'm not going to try to show like, oh, yeah, I did do that. Like I'm just going to stop, shut up, and listen and be like, okay, how can I be coached? Like what did I do wrong? This person obviously knows something different. They're looking at it from the outside perspective. They care about me. I put my trust in them. Therefore, I'm going to trust them and I'm going to listen. And so for you, the faster you can get to that point and skip the other ones, the faster you're going to be successful. It's coming back and saying, look, this is not personal,

so I'm not going to get defensive about it. Right. I'm not going to try to justify how I kind of did it. Instead, I'm going to listen back. You know what? I'm paying for this person. This person has gone down this path. Maybe from this outside perspective, they're seeing something differently than I am because I'm so close to it. And then, you know, obviously not saying screw you.

I'm just going to walk away, but saying, okay, I'm going to listen with exactness. I'm going to cut everything else I'm doing and just focus on the words you said and not take it personal. And I'm going to say, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do it perfectly. Just like you said. Okay. Um, when I got better and better wrestling, my dad and I would go seek out coaches. We would drive all around the state of Utah, um, to where we found out there were good coaches. We found out, Hey, there's a good coach up, um, in this city or this area. We would drive there and I would wrestle with the coach and they would watch me. I show them filming me and stuff like that. And then they would just rip me apart. And I remember at first it was hard. I'm like, Oh, like no. And eventually I was like, I'm paying this. Like we came this way to learn

from this dude. Um, I'm just going to shut up and listen. And I'm going to take every word of advice and then we're gonna go back and we're going to practice it. Even if I don't agree with it necessarily doesn't mean I'm right. Right? Even if I disagree with something, I can disagree with something and be completely wrong. And I'm paying for this person for their advice. Therefore, I will listen to it. I'll be grateful for it. I'm just going to do it. And, um, I remember, man, I remember it was probably junior year in high school, which was the year I won my state, my state title. I remember my, my coach, his name was Greg Williams. He was my freestyle Greco coach at the time. Um, he's now the coach

at UVU. Uh, but anyway, I remember him, I came off a match and, uh, and I won, but, uh, I didn't wrestle. I mean, I thought I wrestled great cause I won. So, you know, my head's like, I'm the greatest person in the world. And he pulled me aside. He said, Russell, you suck at level changing. I'm like, what do you mean? He's like, you need to do this. And he kind of showed me this thing. I was like, okay. And so once again, I didn't take it personal. I'm like, okay, I'm going to try this. The next match went out there and he told me to do these level change things. So I started doing level changings and I did it. I beat the next guy and I came off and I still remember Greg looking at me. He said, you know what? He's like, he's like, you are not the best

athlete on this team. It's like, what? Screw you coach. Yes, I am. He's like, nobody's like, no, you're not the best athlete on teams. Like, but you know what you've got that, that most of these other people don't. And I'm like, no, what? He's like, he's like, you're coachable. I tell you to do something and then you do it. That's it. Like, that's the big secret. You guys, that's why for the last decade and a half, I've been in this business and the prior decade that I was an athlete, I sought out coaching. And when the coaches said something, I shut up and I listened and I did what they said. I put my own ego aside, I put away everything else. And if I wasn't successful, again, it was me taking extreme ownership. Like, okay, I'd lost or I'd won, but I didn't do as well as I wanted to.

This is my fault. What does the coach have to say? And I would listen and I would do it. Okay. Like that's the big, that's the big secret. The people that struggle are the ones who they seek for coaching. They get it. And they go through these phases of like defensiveness and embarrassed, like, oh, the coach called me out for everybody. Like, no, like you're paying the person to do that. Like an honor like how lucky are you that of all the people that they could have been there like you were the one that got the direct coaching you're the one that got the customized personalized coaching like in a wrestling room when there's 50 or you know 100 athletes the room the coach calls you out and stops everybody shows you know

how it calls you and like okay look at brunson's shot what did he do wrong what's the reason like where's his you know like yeah it can like, okay, look at Brunson's shot. What did he do wrong? What's the reason? Like, where's his, you know, like, yeah, it can be embarrassing, but it's like, same time, like, oh my gosh, like I got personal attention from this person. I figured out exactly, everyone else is learning in generalities. I'm learning specifically, like, this is the mistake I made and how, here's how to fix it and the angles I need to shift to make it. And so anyway, I just want to put this out there for all of you guys, because you're all here. Like, if you're listening to this podcast or if you're following me in any aspect, you're,

you're getting coached by me, right? Directly or indirectly. And as you hear things, there are going to be some things that cut a little bit. They're like, Oh, that, that sucks. But again, if, if it, if it hurts means I'm probably speaking directly to you. Like that's, that's, um, that's, that's number one. Number two, the faster you can get to just saying, you know what, I'm going to go and do that thing. Um, you get faster, the, the, the more coachable you can become, which my definition of coachability is just, is getting past those first two or three tiers and just listening and with exactness doing what the coach says.

Um, that's when you have success. That's when you have success. That's when I went from being an okay wrestler to being a state champ, to being All-American, to these things, right? Business was the same thing. When I had my pride on the line, I was seeking for coaching in my business. People tell me things like, oh, no, I know how to do it this way, and I know how to do it this way.

I always have my own way to do things. But when I shut up and started listening and said, you know what? Maybe this person knows more. Maybe they care about me. Maybe they're, maybe I'm paying them to be my coach. And then they just do it the exact way that they said, that's when I started having success. And so especially for those guys who haven't been through intense coaching, you know, through athletics or other things, and you're not used to that, like become coachable, get through, get, get past the ego. That's going to be painful. Get past the defensiveness, get past the screw you. I hope you die coach and get as quick as possible to like, okay, this is a

learning lesson. This person cares about me. They're doing this because they want me to be successful. What can I get from them? Let me, let me, all these other feelings that are getting in the way of my success. Let me, let me get rid of these feelings and focus on the message at hand. What do they say? How can I do it? Coach tells me to level change. All I do is I level change the next match. That's it. And then what did my coach say? Man, Russell, you are so coachable because I just listened and I would do what they say. So that's, that's the lesson. Um, I hope this is for, um, I hope everybody who, who needed this right now is listening. I hope this is good in any aspect of your life. And the other thing I would say on top of that is like, seek out coaching, right? Like Colette and I hired Stacey and Paul

Martino. We went to their relationship event. Why? We have an amazing marriage, but we want it better. So we sought coaching and we're going out there and I went together and then Colette went last week by herself for three days, you know, for more. And like, and like, we're seeking after coaching still in every aspect of life, even the aspects we're doing good. Um, because good is the enemy to great. Right. So, um, anyway, I hope that helps. I just want you guys to be successful. Like seriously, I don't need to keep doing this. Like I'm, I'm set. The reason I keep talking, the reason I keep showing up through, the reason I wake up in the morning, I go to the office is because I actually care about you guys. I'm not doing this to be a jerk. I'm doing this because I want you to be successful.

And so I keep sharing the things I found to be successful. And sometimes it's not going to be comfortable. That's okay. It's not supposed to be. If it was comfortable, everybody would be millionaires walking down the street having a good time. It's supposed to be hard. It's supposed to be painful. That's how you earn this stuff.

You go through the process. You go through the process, you go through the pain and, um, and the reward when you stick through it, when you humble yourself, when you listen, when you follow the process, um, is you have success in the business. And so, um, get past the ego and the feelings and the, and those things as quick as possible and become coachable. Listen, follow with exactness, do what your coach says, trust them, believe in them Because you already asked them for their help. So when you get it, don't shy away from it. Don't run from it. Embrace it with both hands and run with it.

And be grateful that you had the opportunity to get the personalized stuff. Most people don't get that all the time. So anyway, hope that helps. Appreciate you all. Thanks for listening. Now go out there and have success. That's all I really want in life. Just go crush it. Go get a two column club award. I want to hand you an award on stage at Funnel Hacking Live, which by the way, if you don't have tickets yet, they are selling fast.

Now that we're announcing speakers, we've sold out five years in a row and we will sell out again this year. So go get your tickets if you haven't yet at funnelhackinglive.com and get around some of the most amazing entrepreneurs in the world. We all want to coach you. We're there for you. We want you to be successful. We're dedicating tons of our time and effort and money. This event will cost me over $3 million out of my own pocket to put it on for you.

You've got to pay $1,000 for a ticket to show up. I'm putting my money where my mouth is. I want to make sure you are successful and I'm investing a lot in you. Now you've got to invest a little back in yourself to show up, get to the event where we can change your life. So if you don't have a ticket yet, go to funhackinglive.com. With that said, appreciate you all. Thank you. And listen to your coaches. They care about you. They're not here for their health. They're here for yours. So pay attention, do what they say. And if you do, you'll be successful. Thanks so much for everything you guys. And we'll talk to you soon. Bye everybody.