The Ryan Hanley Show - 210. Journey through Positivity, Gratitude, and Transformation with Anthony Iannarino

Episode Date: November 27, 2023

Became a Master of the Close: https://masteroftheclose.comIn this lively exchange with Anthony Iannarino, we navigate the complexities of life, personal experiences, and societal issues.✅ Get frameworks & mental models for high achievement: https://go.ryanhanley.com✅ For daily insights and ideas on peak performance: https://www.instagram.com/ryan_hanley/✅ Hire me to speak at your next event: https://ryanhanley.com/speaking** Connect with Guest **✅ Anthony Iannarino’s Book: https://www.amazon.com/Negativity-Fast-Techniques-Increase-Positivity-ebook/dp/B0CMC478MF✅ Anthony’s LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/iannarino/** More about this episode **Get a glimpse into our personal spaces as we discuss working from home during the pandemic and the challenges it poses. We touch on personal life changes, including divorce and the unexpected shutdown of a former company.We also tackle the state of the economy, the future's demographic impact, and the effect of nutrition on our bodies.Join us as we unpack the power of gratitude and positivity. We bring in the wisdom of Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, as we highlight the importance of focusing on flourishing and happiness over negativity.We also discuss the powerful exercise of "Three Blessings" and its positive impact on mental well-being. The importance of physical activity and the role it plays in improving mental health is also on the table, with discussions on how activities like running, boxing, and even deadlifting can help release negative emotions.Our conversation wouldn't be complete without an exploration of effective communication and relationship-building in sales, courtesy of sales expert and author, Anthony Iannarino. Enrich your knowledge of storytelling, empathy, and understanding customer needs, and discover concrete strategies to build trust and credibility with clients. As we continue to ride life's waves, we're reminded of the importance of self-care, whether that involves exploring the power of gratitude or discussing our well-being's science. Tune in and join us on this journey of discovery. You're sure to leave with nuggets of wisdom that promise to change your life.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All of these things, this political divisiveness, all of these things are all combining together to make the environment very difficult for us. And what I'm trying to do is give people a way to process some of this stuff and say, I can let go of some of these things, because what other choice do you have? You can't focus on all of these things. We can't do anything about a whole bunch of them. But we still have to live our best life. In a crude laboratory in the basement of his home. Hello everyone and welcome back to the show. Today we have a guest, second time guest, but if you went to Elevate 2018, if you were listening to this podcast, if you were in my world in 2018 and you went to Elevate, you would have heard Anthony speak live. He was one of the keynotes that we had at that event.

One of the best sales speakers, sales teachers that you are going to come across. I've read all of his sales books. I've read every book that he recommends as well on the topic. He has a tremendous blog. He puts on an amazing event outbound with Jeb Blunt and his new book is actually his first move away from sales specifically called The Negativity Fast and this book, I just love it. I love it for our time. I love it where we're at and frankly, even though it isn't a sales book, if sales is what's important to you, this concept of removing negativity, of removing distraction, noise, of removing negative energy

from your life is going to help you achieve more in whatever you do, sales specifically. Because if you're sitting there making calls and you're feeling negative, if you're allowing negative stories from whatever aspect of the internet or your life to enter your brain, you are not going to be as successful. And this goes for everything that you do. It goes for your success in your marriage and your relationships and how you handle your kids, your friends, co-workers, your community, the little league team that you coach. If negativity rules your life, you are never going to get to the best version of yourself. And I think that today with the onslaught of information that we have from the various

different communication sources, be the mainstream media or social media or whatever, it is very difficult to stay away from negativity. And the processes, the techniques, the ideas, the concepts that Anthony shares in this podcast and that he also dives deep into in his new book, The Negativity Fast, is just as timely as timely gets. I couldn't be happier to have Anthony on the show. It is always a blessing. And I think you're going to love this episode. With that, guys, if you do love this episode, if you do find value, the only thing I ask is that you share the show. That's it. Share the show. Text it to somebody, email it to somebody, put it in a social media group, a Facebook group, whatever. But sharing the show helps more people find what we're doing here,

helps more people get the ideas of peak performance, high achievement, becoming the best version of yourself. It puts it in front of them. And maybe one little idea that they pick up will help them grow and get to that point where they feel like they're operating at their optimal level, which is what we want. It's why I do this work to get more people operating at their optimal level. I love you for listening to this show. I appreciate you for listening to this show. Let's get on to Anthony Iannarino. Met Seth Godin at his place before. Yep. And he had like a condo and they had just a great setup. And I was in Industrious, which is like a WeWork. Yep. And it's all glass. Can't do any video, can't do any audio because everything's bouncing. Yep. told my wife when i got in the car i said i want you to find me a place where i could do this and then i had all this equipment

here and then the pandemic happened and all my clients were like how are we going to do training and i'm like we're going to do a virtual yep but i've got lights everywhere all kinds of stuff so it's a nice place to be yeah that's cool i mean the brick background is great um i am in the process of uh i'm gutting and re re refurbing a house and um i'll have a nice setup there nice office setup and it'll be it'll be perfect for everything that i do. Once it's done, it's, we're like halfway through it right now. So I won't be in until like January and actually the basement and, you know, kind of office studio and that kind of stuff won't be done probably until the spring. But you know, it, uh, I, you know, since, since last time we talked, I got divorced about two years ago and, uh, she kept the house, um, obviously I shouldn't say obviously, but in an effort to amicably remove myself

from that situation, I did not fight for the house, we'll say. And so I've been living in an apartment for the last two years, which is fine, but it doesn't lend itself super well to this kind of stuff. So I have a co-working space, but- You know what Rod Stewart said, right?

What? He said, the next time I decide to marry a woman that I hate, I'll just buy her a house. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It is funny. Life works in a lot of really interesting ways. It sure does. this week i found out that the company that i founded and sold in 2022 that i've been kind of in the earn out period of the company that bought us decided to shut the company down on tuesday so yes so you're just like cruising along i know a lot of people that would have bought the business back i'm glad i'm trying to do that um yeah but they have to be willing to do that uh yeah probably not going to raise. I'm on the Business Advisory Council for the Cleveland Fed. So they brief me and I brief them. Their briefs aren't as good as my briefs, but they don't particularly like my briefs a lot of times.

They think about economics and look backwards. I'm trying to show them demographics because the demographics are very bad for us. You're not going to have nearly enough people. We don't have nearly enough babies. It's going to get really difficult in the next 10 years. You're going to have 70 baby rollers retire. Yeah. And then you got to think to yourself,

how much of that is engineered? The lack of people. All of it. The lack of people. Some of it, yeah. It's not to get too conspiracy theory, although I love conspiracy theories, but you listen to people like Bill Gates and stuff say that you know we need to take out half the population we can't you know we can't uh feed them we can't house them and all this stuff and it's like you know that feeds people lately they're fat oh i know we can apparently we can feed them right yeah oh we can feed them and i think like these people weigh 400 pounds. Dude, I caught a decent amount of blowback, which I literally don't care about because it's true. But I said on the podcast a couple of weeks ago, I asked the guests facetiously, or rhetorically, I guess is probably a better way to put it.

How many fat 80-year-olds do you know? And he got really quiet. And I said, that's not a trick question. I'm being serious. How many fat 80-year-olds do you know? And he's like, I don't know any. And I was like, exactly. Exactly.

Because they're not eating the same. The other thing is, is that they ate different. Like my grandmother, everything had butter. Yeah. I mean, the food supply is not good at all. Yeah. There's no doubt about that. Well, think about what we've been taught. We've been taught that olive oil is bad for us. You can drink olive oil like water. Your body just processes it and passes it through you. Like there's, there is such a thing as easily processable, good for you fats and bad for you fats and these different things in the sugar. I mean, I try to explain to my kids all the time,

like guys, you, you will never live in a world that doesn't, that sugar isn't in everything. And you don't understand sugars are narcotic. Like in a different version of reality, sugar is, is a narcotic. Like cocaine is a narcotic. We just, we, we have sugar one day, my wife and I do. So on Friday we get an ice cream cone. That's my, what Dana would call F at Friday. Yeah. Have you ever seen him do that? Yeah. Where he cooks something just totally awful. But that's the one day. Or you could do T. Ferris' Fatter Day.

Yeah. He put in one of his books i i think you know and this is what i'm i try to work with my kids on too is um if if it's not real then you shouldn't put it in your face if it didn't come out of the ground or you someone didn't have to kill it or you didn't have to kill it you probably shouldn't put it in your face like now great does you know am i gonna have a protein bar once in a while yeah are they mostly chemicals yes but you know whatever like you know on a small or moderated basis some processed stuff is not gonna it's not gonna really harm you as long as you're not eating it all the time.

We have an entire culture that they might eat real food once a month. The rest every other day is processed crazy food. And then we wonder why people have low productivity, low testosterone, low ambition. Why

we're producing a culture that is anti-competition anti-masculinity you know like no fucking wonder you're eating this garbage food and your body doesn't know what to do and it's sad and depressed and tired and it's like it's crazy man don't look into water don't don't look into water that's the next thing that I have to do. I have been, the next part of my life that I have to kind of start to re-engineer is my how I intake water. And I have a buddy who just started a water company and he delivers it. It comes in on his hands. Every single drug, every single drug that people take is in our water supply.

And microscopic amounts, but of everything viagra uh sedatives like everything it's in there it's incredibly how do you filter your water how what do you do for your water i'd filter it with the the refrigerator first and then i put it into another filter um yeah i don't i do it two times. Like a Brita? Or what do you use? I forget the name of the one that I got. I like it, though. I told my wife, I said, this even gets rid of arsenic.

And she said, yeah, but I'm just putting it back in anyway. I like your wife. Awesome. Well, I think that, dude, I'm glad you you're on I'm excited that we're chatting again you know last time I think we chatted was before the elevate conference back in 2018 that's a while five years ago that's crazy you know I was there I went to see the Eagles in Cleveland I took my wife and my daughter, one of my daughters and her boyfriend, and it was that same place that we were. Yeah, the hill in there. I said, I spoke here and I was like, I can't bring to my mind, I can't remember why I was here.

And then I was like, oh, it was the Elevate conference.. It was right next to that Hyatt. Yes, yep. Yeah, so yeah, I was right there. And it took me a minute to figure out, like, where was I? And now then I know. It took me a minute. It's hard when you speak as much as you do. And, you know, I don't speak as much as you, but I definitely get around.

You, all the ballrooms lookrooms start to look the same. You know what I mean? There are definitely venues that you'll remember. I just did a really cool event in Dallas by the ballparks there where it was called something live. Oh yeah. I know. I've been there. Yeah. Really cool. I've been there too. Yeah. Yeah, really cool setup, that was awesome I just loved it, the acoustics were great The way the audience was set up

I think the stage is a little too high Yeah I thought it would come, that should be down a little bit more Yes, I agree with you The people who are in the front In those high tops, you're kind of like Looking straight down at them like this. But in general, I like that venue.

I'll remember that venue. But the hotel ballrooms, they're gray rectangles. Yeah, they're all the same. Yeah, so that can be tough. But back then, you were talking about sales. Not that you don't still talk about sales, but the new book is a slightly different, you know, a kind of a move away from that. So talk to me a little bit about, you know, you've been known so much about pure sales content for so long in business, you know, focus growth content. And, you know, this has got a slightly different spin. So what,

what was the impetus for that? What was kind of your, what, what captured you and said, you know what, I want to write this book. This is a little different, but I think this is a story I need to tell. Jeb Blunt and I do a conference every year, except for last year, we took it off because we were just too busy. It's called the Outbound Conference and it is for sales leaders and sales managers and salespeople. And Jeb is with Wiley. That's his publisher. And he brought Shannon, who was his acquisition editor, to Outbound. We're going to talk about books. And I was like, okay. I didn't know if I was going to self-publish or what I was going to do. I did three books with portfolio. And we talked about it. And I said, listen, before we do this, I need to know how much latitude do I have on what I want to write. And she said, we'll probably let you write whatever you want to write. And I said, well, I have this idea for a book called The Negativity Fast. And it's something that I did for myself a long time ago. And I'm still on my negativity fast, by the way. I have not watched media on television for 20 years. I mean, I've not watched it. So I have no idea. When I tell people to stop watching it, they go, how am I going to know what's going on? All the negative people around you are going

to tell you. I promise you, you don't have to worry about that. They're going to want you to know that they're unhappy about something that's going on in the world. You'll hear about it, but you don't have to consume that poison and ingest it over and over every single day. You are going to be negative. And look, so the model changed. Fox decided we're going to only talk to conservatives and MSNBC, we're only going to talk to liberals. And then we're going to get them to hate each other for some reason, even though that should not be anything that anybody worries about. Whatever somebody else's politics are doesn't have anything to do with you. And you shouldn't try to talk people

out of their politics anyway. It's like trying to get a Catholic to join the church of Satan. It's not going to happen. It's too far away, right? So I asked if I could do this book, and she said, yeah, we'd love to do that book. So that meant I signed up with them. And I did this for a couple reasons. One, it doesn't take you very long to recognize how negative, how stressed, how much people are anxious, how much they're negative, how much they complain. All you have to do is just pay a little bit of attention to that, and you'll see that. What I wanted to do was give people a book with a number of strategies that are all science-based. So I'll tell you why I did the science-based approach here. When I started reading about gratitude,

there's a number of claims that are made by science and when you start reading the list you you're you're like too many things uh it will it will lower your blood pressure increase your immune system give you better cognitive um you'll be cognitive better uh you will have less inflammation in your body um and everything that you can think of like any good thing that happens you won't be depressed you won't have anxiety you won't have stress and when i was writing writing all these things down i'm like no one can believe this like that's too many things. Like if it did three things, that would be amazing. But it does like nine or 10 things, just gratitude by itself. So I thought I better cite this because people are going to go, he's just making this up. It's his opinion. It's conjecture, but it's not. So I cited everything in the book and there's a lot of sites. What's up, guys? Sorry to take you away from the episode,

but as you know, we do not run ads on this show. And in exchange for that, I need your help. If you're loving this episode, if you enjoy this podcast, whether you're watching on YouTube or you're listening on your favorite podcast platform, I would love for you to subscribe, share, comment if you're on YouTube, leave a rating review if you're on Spotify or Apple iTunes, et cetera.

This helps the show grow. It helps me bring more guests in. We have a tremendous lineup of people coming in, men and women who've done incredible things, sharing their stories around peak performance, leadership, growth, sales, the things that are going to help you grow as a person and grow your business. But they all check out comments, ratings, reviews. They check out all this information before they come on. So as I reach out to more and more people and want to bring them in and share their stories with you, I need your help. Share the show, subscribe if you're not subscribed. And I'd love for you to leave a comment about the show because I read all the comments. Or if you're on Apple or Spotify, leave a rating review of this show. Subscribe if you're not subscribed. And I'd love for you to leave a comment about the show because I read all the comments. Or if you're on Apple or Spotify, leave a rating review of this

show. I love you for listening to this show and I hope you enjoy it. Listening as much as I do creating the show for you. All right, I'm out my opinion on anything. This is what the science tells us. I know it's not good to talk about the science anymore. After the pandemic, we don't talk about science, but this was just reading the papers and then understanding how they learned some of those things. And the book doesn't read like a science book, but there's just enough in there that if you wanted to go look, you could go find a citation and read it yourself if you want to. So I just wanted to make sure people know that all of these

things are well documented. Well, I think that's the right way to go about it too, because oftentimes you can tell the difference between what I will call an amateur publication and a professional publication in so much as they can tell the same stories, except one will readily and willingly cite where they were either inspired or informed, and the other will talk just on conjecture and subjective opinions. And that to me is a huge signal on whether you're getting a professionally published work or an amateur published work. So that feels like the right path to me always. I had my editor reading the manuscript and she said, you wrote in here that you're more likely to make sure that your pets have their pharmaceuticals than take them yourself. And she said, that can't be true. And I said, it's true. And she said, it can't be true. No, people are going to take theirs

more than they would give their pets their pharmaceuticals. And she goes, it can't be true. No, people are going to take more than they would give their pets, their pharmaceuticals. And she goes, how would you even know something like that? I said, two years in a row, I spoke to 600 veterinarians and they told me that. And then I gave her the citation and I said, here's a citation. It's been cited. That is who we are. We love our pets and we don't take as good a care of ourselves as we should. And I think everybody would agree with that, right? Yeah. I think the same stat for your kids as well. If your kids have a medicine, you'll make sure your kids get it. If you had the same exact medicine, you won't take it. Right. Yeah. It's, it's, it's, it's this odd responsibility to others where we will be completely, we will treat ourselves horribly, yet do everything we

can for the people that we care about. Right. Yeah. That's right. I'm sure there's some like evolutionary biological reason for that. You know, and probably, probably a good reason, but it's definitely, I've heard that before. I actually caught that from a pet sitting conference that I spoke at a long time ago. I don't know the exact set or percentage or whatever, but they were talking about the owners would give their pets better care than they give to themselves. Regular doctor's visits, et cetera.

So I'd like to stay on gratitude specifically for a second because a lot of the work that I've been doing recently in my career has shifted from highly tactical more of, we'll call it human skills. And they often get classified by a lot of people as fluffy or things that are like luxuries to think about, like taking time to show gratitude or to just simply write down what you're grateful for. I think to many busy individuals, and I'm going to put busy in air quotes because I think that most of us are not as busy as we think we are. That feels like a luxury for people who have time. Sure, Anthony, I would love to spend 10 minutes writing down what I'm grateful for every morning. I'll do that when my career

gets in order or my kids go away to school or when I get my X, Y, Z under control. And they never make time for these things. I guess before we get into exactly why gratitude in particular is such an important aspect of removing negativity from your life. How do you get people to actually slow down and find these moments so that they can do some of the things that are going to help them? I will give you and your audience the best possible advice that I can give you about gratitude. Martin Seligman is known as the father of positive

psychology. When he went to Penn, I think, there was only negative psychology. So you need a pharmaceutical or you need a psychoanalyst or both. And that's how people thought about pessimism and all of the negativity. And what he decided was that that's not a very good way to live your life. You should flourish, and we should flourish, and we should be happy. And one of the things that he did, he ended up on the cover of Time magazine, and he had an entrepreneur that helped build a website for them, and it was called Three Blessings. So if you're listening to this, you want to write this down.

So it's really easy. You'll be able to remember it. What you do is you write down three things that went well for you in the day. So at the end of the day, don't do it in the morning, do it at the end of the day. What are the three good things

that happened to you and why? And so if you do that for two weeks every night before you go to bed, what Seligman said is that the people that did that were no longer stressed, no longer anxious, didn't have the same level of depression for as long as six months after doing that. So I've done this with one of my teams where we did it on a Google chat and everybody put their three blessings down and then other people would support those blessings. And I thought, well, we'll do that for a couple of weeks. People are still doing it. They still want to write down the good things that happened. Now, if you were, if you had a journal and you write that down every night and you start

stacking up the days that you do that, when you pick that journal up and you start looking back, you're going to go, every single day good things happen to me. Every single day something good happens to me. Instead of what we have is called negativity bias. Mostly we're looking for the negative because we're paleolithic people, you know, that are now living in this world of accelerating constant disruptive change and it moves faster. The rate of change is faster than we can process it. So people like Alvin Toffler, who wrote Future Shock, and 65 said, if we don't get control over the rate of change, then we're going to have a massive adaptational problem in our psychology, in our world, in every part of our lives if we don't get that under control. So now we just got AI, right?

So it's like getting even faster, and the change will come even faster now that we have these things. So my opinion is we have to try to get control of that in our own life. And if you would do that exercise, Seligman said comparing it to pharmaceuticals and psychoanalysis, it's more powerful than both. So this is something that you can do for yourself. And if you start stacking up all the good things that happen to you, you'll be surprised at how many good things happen to you every single day and every single week. And most of us are focused on the problems that we have and the negative parts,

but you can beat that back some just by being grateful and writing down these things at the end of every day. So since my divorce, I have kind of, I don't want to say, I have reestablished faith in my life. I kind of got away from it while I was married and I was always, you know, I always had a strong faith when I was a kid and got away from it and then have come back to it. And what's really interesting to me is that, you know, I don't, I'm not a religious scholar, but certainly, you know, my understanding of the Christian religions and the baseline on all those, just saying some prayers at the end of the night, just talking to

God and thanking, you know, simple prayers like thanking God for the food that you had and for the relationships that you had or the people that are in your life. Just saying two or three things like that before you go to bed. That's a practice that's been going on for, well, I mean, we'll say at least 2000 years, if not much longer, depending on whether you believe Graham Hancock or not. And to me, it's like these are core things that and I kind of want to move this into the rapid pace of change. What is it? I want you to get to the acronym and all that you talk about. Because I think that is what I would love to focus a second half of our conversation on. But there are some of these core things like having gratitude, showing love, et cetera, that have been stripped from our culture.

And I don't know, nor do I think we probably have the time here to necessarily dissect all the reasons why. But these are core aspects of who we are. And it's like, we talk about these things in a secular way, but man, you know, I, you know, and I unabashedly believe that secularism is a big part of the negativity and stuff that we have in the world. But these are parts of our humanity. They're not like hacks of the modern man or modern woman. These are core aspects of who we are if we look back at all the, you could look at almost all the major religions

that have lasted, and what does Joe Rogan say? Any religion that's been around for 2000 years, there's probably something decent in there that you should follow. They all come back to some of these practices that are just really core to who we are. It's been a little commercialized. You may not.

But it's core to us. You may not know this, but contemplative prayer is one way to reduce your anxiety, your stress and your negativity. So that is a proven thing that you know now that you're saying it, but I'm telling you that the science supports that. Yeah. It does. So it is supported by people who have studied it. Yeah. So that shows up in the research as well. So let's, I want to talk about ACDC, the accelerating constant disruptive

change. This concept to me, and I'd really like to spend at least a large portion of the remainder of our conversation on this, because this is something that, man, I don't know how any of us are prepared for this, right? And like you said, it's like every month a new technology comes out that moves the world even faster. And it's so difficult to keep up. And that in and of itself creates these anxious vibrations. So I'd love for you to break down the concept, and I was a dead ringer for Bon Scott of ACDC. And now I have a different ACDC. I'm going to read this to you just because I can't remember all of the things that I wrote. In the epigraph, Toffler said, the acceleration of change in our time is itself an elemental force. And he says, unless man quickly learns to control the rate of change in his personal affairs, as well as in society at large, we are doomed to a massive adaptational breakdown. That was 1965 in a magazine called Horizon. That's how long he saw this way before anybody else.

Future Shock came out in 70. You know who Yuval Noah Harari is? Yeah, Sapiens. Sapiens, yeah. He says this, our newfound knowledge leads to faster economic, social, and political changes. In an attempt to understand what's happening, we accelerate the accumulation of knowledge, which leads only to faster and greater upheavals. Consequently, we are less and less able to make sense of the present or forecast the future. How about that?

And then the last one I'll give you is Ray Kurzweil, who is the head of AI for Google. Some people don't know who he is, but you know his work because he did optical character recognition. That's one of his patents. He also has the Kurzweil synthesizer. He said, from a strictly mathematical perspective, the growth rates will be finite, but so extreme that the changes they bring about will appear to rupture the fabric of human history. Okay, so this is where we are. You agree? Yeah.

Yeah, this is where we are. It moves faster than we can keep up with it. And it isn't showing any signs of slowing down at all. So who would guess that we were going to have a hot war in Europe, a hot war in the Middle East, the highest inflation we've had in 40 years, interest rates of 8%, all of these things, this political divisiveness, all of these things are all combining together to make the environment very difficult for us. And what I'm trying to do is give people a way to process some of this stuff and say, I can let go of some of these things. Because what other choice do you have? You can't focus on all of these things.

We can't do anything about a whole bunch of them, but we still have to live our best life. So we have to do the very best we can to remove the negativity and spend more time being positive and pursuing our goals. And that's what I think most of us should be doing, even though I would tell you it's not that easy to do. My law professor, when he noticed i was angry he said you should just let let all these things go that's not really good advice like yeah how do you let it go like you have all these these inputs that you're getting how do you just go i'm going to let all of that go it's it's harder than you think it is so you have to do some work with yourself

to be able to say i'm not going to pay attention to all of these things i'll pay attention to some but i can't just keep ingesting all this stuff which is why i've turned everything else off basically i like the economist they're not uh trying to separate americans from each other so it's a little bit more less biased. Let's put it that way. Yeah. Do you think you can, do you think it's possible to at one time both consume information on these topics and stay positive at the same time? Do you think it is possible for most people to be able to do that if they, is there a construct or framework that allows you to do that? Yeah. You have to go to sources that are not specifically trying to cause divisiveness. So I don't care what you watch or what you listen to. Fox News is only going to give you one half

of the story. That's the narrative that they like. MSNBC's got the other narrative. That's the one that they like. Those are not good sources. And mostly because it's being done to agitate you and to force you to have a political bias in a certain way. If you go to sources where that bias isn't there, you're going to be a lot better. There was a time when Walter Cronkite was the news person for every American. Everybody watched that. It was just the facts. And now it's none of the facts. It's just the bias of what we've done now in media. So I would tell you, choose your sources well. I like The Economist. I also like CNBC because if they ever have a politician on, they're on their best behavior because they know the money

class is listening to them. So they try not to go too far in either direction just simply because they don't want to be perceived in a certain way. So anytime that you can get just the information without somebody trying to force a bias on you, uh, that's a better way to find the content that you want. And I will tell you, you can, you can leave a whole bunch of it behind and not miss it at all. I promise you.

Yeah. I think, I think, yes, I struggle with this because, so one, I haven't watched MSNBC or Fox or any of that stuff in years, years and years. What I do consume is quite a bit of independent media,

and I try to find, I love former liberals who have now become just independents, right? Not necessarily, say Matt Taibbi, Glenn Greenwald. Oh, yeah. Taibbi is the best. Gary Weiss. Because these people, from my opinion, were moderates who during the Bush years got pushed to the left, right?

And just like what's happening now, right? They haven't actually moved their opinions. It's just the window that has moved to the left, right? And just like what's happening now, right? They haven't actually moved their opinions. It's just the window that has moved right or left, right? So now- Taibbi and Barry, they are liberals. They've been liberals for a long time. But yeah, they feel like they got moved. And if you watch Bill Maher, you'll find out-

Bill Maher's another one, yeah. They went past where he was. Yeah. And I think he's the only one that can actually talk to them the way that he does. I mean, he's the only one that I think can talk directly to that group. And still be accepted. Yeah. Because unfortunately, Glenn Greenwald, Matt Taibbi, and Barry Weiss are like, if I read the three of them, I feel like I get a really good feel for what's actually happening on both sides.

And what I love is, I love that all three of them I would classify as classic liberals, which I think is most of Americans. I think the vast majority of Americans are what you would call a classic liberal, right? We believe in human rights. We care about each other, community, support, et cetera. We want to make sure that if someone's in need, they get taken care of, all these good things. And then there's like this slightly other side where, hey, maybe we should like worry about home first instead of being world police, stuff like that. Like that's kind of like a classic liberal mindset. And I find that these independent journalists who have to make their hay by telling good stories about telling the truth. If one of these individuals who writes independently and creates independently,

if they all of a sudden, some people start to find out they're budging the stats or misdirecting or misinforming or being just outright lying, their income is gone tomorrow. All those people unsubscribe and move on to someone else. So to me, I love the incentives of independent journalism for consuming this type of information because you get, to me, because I don't always agree with them or like their opinion, although I believe that what they are giving to us is exactly the facts as they see them, as they've found them, and as they believe them to be. And I find that when I read that, in those situations, when I don't agree, I don't get upset. Where when I hear someone say from MSNBC, who is literally

just being fed what to say, and there's no, you know, it is so, you know, wordsmithed and gobbledygooked and all this kind of nonsense. You're just like, I could agree with you on what you're saying is making me mad. It's just that, that, that honesty factor or authenticity factor, you know, I guess, you know, however you want to say it, that definitely, even when you don't agree, if you believe the person is being authentic, it seems to not make you as upset as it does. If you, if you feel like the person is lying to you, Taibbi is not trying to agitate you. Yeah. Yeah. So he's not. He's not trying to divide anybody. I do think that you should pray for him, though, because he seems to be a target for a whole bunch of people.

Yeah. I mean, he is a liberal's liberal, too, by the way. Yeah. But they don't like him. Yeah. No, I know. Him, you know, I mean, like I said, the big three for me, and I know there's a ton,

but the big three for me are Glenn Greenwald, Barry Weiss, and Matt Taibbi, who I just really like all three of them. And then, you know, I have other people that I follow too, but for me, I just, you know, I try, I struggle with this dichotomy. I struggle with, I know that if I cut a lot of the world news stuff out of my life, if I focus just on community stuff that impacts my day-to-day

and my work-related family stuff, you know, life stuff, I will in general have less anxiety and stress. At the same time, I feel this odd responsibility to know what is happening in the world like i feel the the difference between awareness uh so awareness is okay yeah it's it's just when you start uh having something that's more than just an awareness where it's uh it's starting to become part of me and I'm spending too much time on this. So I, I would say awareness is okay, but when you're consumed by it, uh, and it consumes you, you're going to be negative.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a good way of defining that. I know that the things are going on in the world, but I'm not going to spend a whole bunch of time being negative about it. These things, the world has been turning and burning for 4.8 billion years. It's going to keep burning and turning. So we're here for a short time. And I would say it's shorter than most people think. The average in the United States right now is 4,108 weeks, so that's about 78.2. And the reason it keeps going down is because of suicide and fentanyl. Those are the two things that are keeping that number down, so you'll probably live longer than that but when i tell people you have 4108 year uh weeks they get upset with it some people are like that's just morbid that you know that number and and then i have something i call it's called countdown so and i have a guess of where i'm gonna leave the earth and i think I have like a little 1300 weeks and people say that's morbid. No,

you know, it's morbid. Not knowing. Yeah. Not knowing how short this is and then spending your time being negative and pessimistic and cynical and skeptical. You can do a lot better than that. So I think I try to give people the understanding we complain all the time and then i have to ask people have you ever had ice cream it's pretty good right uh pizza children dogs coffee i mean there's a whole bunch of things it's good here yeah i'd stay forever if i could yeah but if you might as well start saying I should be grateful for all these things that I have here because at some point it goes away. Yeah. I couldn't, I couldn't agree with you more.

One of the things that I've been writing a lot about in my newsletter and talking about like on Instagram and stuff is this idea of preparation. And I don't mean prepping like building a bunker in the ground. What I mean is like preparing your mind, your body, your mentality, your emotions, your relationships for bad things to happen. 42, soon to be 43, enough life experience and seeing enough, you know, shitty things happen, as so many you know i don't know that i have more than other people just had enough to know that far too many of us go through life without intent without properly preparing physically mentally etc

and then something bad happens we lose a family member, an act of violence. We lose a job. I mentioned done so much emotional and mental preparation and physical preparation that took me about an hour to pull my kind of let it sink in, let it marinate, went to the gym, did some deadlifting and back to business. What are we doing next? Here we go. Right. And I guess my point in saying this is that if you are consumed by negativity and you are always thinking about the future and how negative it is and how all this bad stuff is going to happen, you're not preparing yourself for a walk, building a deeper relationship with your spouse or a friend or a mentor or a partner, and getting yourself in a position that when bad things happen, we can weather it. Instead, we let our life blow up when bad things happen. We fall to the floor and we're a complete mess. And then we go, Anthony, what do I do? I need to pull my life together. And it's like, how about you get your life together before the bad thing happens? Yeah. And I think that this idea of a negativity fast and negativity

in general and how we allow it to permeate our mental and even our spiritual and physical lives, to me, this is an incredibly important aspect of that preparation. And I love that you've written this book and I love that we're talking about this topic right now. It's a worthwhile topic. When you are deadlifting, it's impossible for you to be negative. Yes. Because you're breathing too hard. The reason that people sometimes feel bad is because they're holding their breath. And once you start like if you run or deadlift or do any kind of uh something physical gardening anything once you start taking the pressure off your diaphragm uh you're going to feel better almost immediately if you're ever really angry go run and see how long it takes before you're not angry anymore once that that you start breathing again, it goes away really fast. Those are like just simple things that people could do. I want to start doing that. And when I'm doing speeches and just ask somebody to go ahead and start run, go ahead and run around the.

I like it. Yeah. And let's see if you're angry after that. Cause you won't be, it's impossible. So I, uh, I hate running. I know how important it is. I hate it. What I've done lifting it's yeah. What I've picked up instead is boxing. I don't, I'm not like sparring yet, but, um, although there's this part of me, the competitive side of me wants to see, I mean, see how I can do. Although I don't know how many shots in the head I should be taking at my age. Zero. Yeah, zero is probably the correct answer. Although, having played football for so long, I'm sure there's enough damage in there that what could happen.

What did you play? What? What did you play? I was a middle linebacker. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My career ended in a game that ended my senior year. We were in the sectional semifinal game against a school that was way bigger than us and had every right to dominate us, which they did. But I was I was an all conference middle first team conference, all middle linebacker. I loved football was my number one sport and what I was the best at. I ended up playing baseball in college, but football was my love. I loved football and I love defense in particular. I love the position I played. I love the linebacking position. I just

loved it. So you got, you got good football IQ. Yeah. So I accept in this moment, they ran a counter and I was all over it. I had a dead to rights, right? I saw the misdirection. I saw everything except I didn't see the fullback. I thought the fullback went with the play, went with the misdirection, right? Except he didn't. He took a step to the left and then he came back across the pulling guard. So people don't understand how this play works. Everything goes to defense right. So our rip, our right side, everything moves to that side. And the running back fakes that way. And then he comes back and it's kind of like a naked run.

Usually that's how a counter works. Or, you know, maybe they pull a guard. They didn't in this case. So I see all this motion. I see the guy hesitate and I know exactly what the play is. And I'm like, I got this guy dead to rights. So I come around the line and I'm just kind of strafing and I'm going to light this guy dead to rights. So I come around the line and I'm just kind of strafing and I'm going to light this guy up.

Except I didn't also realize that the fullback was part of the counter as well as a lead blocker. I came around the corner and it was just, boom, lights out. Woke up on the sidelines, laying down on the bench, giggling to myself because I'm high as hell after this fucking concussion that I just got. And it was game over. Went to the doctor the next week and he's like, yes, just so you know, every contact sport that exists from now on, you will no longer be playing. And I was like, yeah, that was it. That was the end of the career. So unfortunately, the sparring is probably out for me. But that being said, to your point, anything that basically an entire boxing training, I just don't do the sparring. But as soon as you kick it up past that point where your brain just says, I'm focusing on this thing because you're breathing heavy and you're

sweating and you're pushing. And like you said, it's like hitting, for those who are old enough to remember, for me, it's like, remember how you used to play Contra on Nintendo and it would freeze every frigging time you played and the only thing you could do was hit the reset button? That's what it was. Your brain locks up with all this negativity and anxiety. And like these activities are like hitting that reset button, allowing everything to break free. That, and even just if people would hydrate, they'd feel a lot better. Yeah. If they ate a little chicken and salad instead of going through Wendy's or something like that, they'd feel a lot better too. Yeah. There's a whole bunch of factors that we could all look at.

Yeah. Well, I want to be cognizant of your time and that of the audience. And I'd love to hear, before we get to where everyone can get the book, and we'll obviously have it linked up in the show notes and all that stuff. If someone's listening to this and they're like, 100%, I'm going to go get the book. I'm going to read. What's like, is it gratitude? Is it slowing down? Is it just turning off these things? If you just had one thing, you had 10 seconds.

Someone comes up to you at a conference, shakes your hand, says, Anthony, I freaking love it. What's the one thing I should do to get the, you know, what's the 5% activity that gets me the 95% result when it comes to negativity in my life? Gratitude's got to be number one. The other one I would give you is my younger brother's a comedian. And if you go see him, I'm not responsible for any of your hurt feelings, just for you know. So I'm telling you that. That's my disclaimer. He drives around from place to place and does comedy all over basically the him. And he looked at this guy's face and he realized this guy was under some sort of duress. And I said, well, how did you know that? And he goes, because I knew what he was feeling at that moment. He needed to get to a bathroom.

And I told him like, go, you can go, go. And he's yelling the guy with his window down in his Cadillac. And I'm like, how do you know that the guy had to get to a bathroom? And he goes, because it happens to me all the time. Now, what he did was he lied to himself. He made a lie up. And now he decided, instead of believing this guy's got road rage, that he's just trying to get to a bathroom as fast as he can. And after that, he was over his difficulty with how people drive. He just lets everybody go in front of him and thinks, well, if they're going like this, there must be something wrong. So let them go. And I'm like, that's an amazing strategy. And it comes from a guy named Albert Ellis who did cognitive therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy. And what he says is there's an activating event and then there's your belief about it and then there's the consequences on how you respond to that. All you have their kid is sick at home. He's trying to get home to get his kid so he can take him to the doctor. I mean, you can lie to yourself that way. It's a lot better than being angry.

Yeah. I love that. You know, that to me is, I don't know if you heard of Chris Williamson, he does the Modern Wisdom Podcast. No, I don't know it. Doesn't matter. Great, great podcast. Got a lot of great guests, but just a guy I listen to. And he always talks about reframing. Like his is reframing and what you just described and i love it in my opinion is a way of taking a situation and it could be look at this jerk he cut me off he doesn't respect me what's wrong with people today or that dude's gotta go take a dump i'm gonna let him go because because why would i get in the way of that? Don't hold him up. Yeah, right? I got a chapter on reframing, but it's not for the little things. It's for having two brain surgeries and having a piece of your brain cut off.

And then instead of deciding that I had a trauma and that I was going to do something bad for me, I went to college, law school, and Harvard Business School for over nine years after that. And the reframing for me was, I'm a scarecrow. Like Dorothy's scarecrow, I'm your brain. So I went and I worked on my brain, and I'm a better person for doing that. I think if you look for what good thing happened out of that negative thing, you can get post-traumatic growth syndrome. There's only three significant papers on that, but people are looking into it now because we know it exists and we're going to start figuring out how to help people have that experience instead of a post-traumatic stress disorder.

I love that. So yeah. So if you can find meaning in that suffering, then it can change how you feel about those events that happened to you. Perfect way to end it, my man. Dude, I appreciate the hell out of you. I love every chance that we get to talk. We have great conversations.

The book, I'm assuming Amazon, all the major book publishers everywhere. Awesome. I will have it linked up in the show notes for everybody. You can also go to thesalesblog.com. You'll find all the books that Anthony has, all his work, his training programs, all the great stuff. That's another awesome place. Which social media, where else should they connect with you? LinkedIn is good. And if you buy the book, I've got a really nice workbook that I can give you. Yep. So if you just go out to LinkedIn and you say, I bought your book, can you give me the workbook? I'll make sure you get it.

Yeah. Awesome. Dude, I appreciate you. I wish you nothing but the best. Thanks for doing this work because this is an incredibly important topic in our time. I love the way you're putting it together. And I hope everyone listening goes out and gets a copy and starts to work on these things. And then I absolutely, positively, 100% recommend following Anthony's work. It's incredible. He was a speaker at Elevate 2018. And I've been an enormous fan of his work and a follower and reader of all

his books for probably more than a decade now. So my man, appreciate you. Thank you so much for being on the show. Thanks for having me on. you I'm going to shaboos! Thank you. Thank you. Close twice as many deals by this time next week. Sound impossible? It's not. With the one-call-close system, you'll stop chasing leads and start closing deals in one call. This is the exact method we use to close 1200 clients under three years during the pandemic. No fluff, no endless follow-ups, just results fast. Based in behavioral psychology and battle tested, the one call close system eliminates excuses and gets the prospect saying yes,

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