The Ryan Hanley Show - 241. [Audio Exclusive] Keep Hustling Podcast

Episode Date: March 28, 2024

Became a Master of the Close: https://masteroftheclose.comJoin us on a profoundly personal journey with Ryan Hanley, as he reveals the roots of his relentless drive and the hurdles he's overcome to achieve success.✅ Join over 10,000 newsletter subscribers: https://go.ryanhanley.com/✅ For daily insights and ideas on peak performance: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryanhanley✅ Subscribe to the YouTube show: https://youtube.com/ryanmhanleyKeep Hustling Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/keep-hustling/id1715572249Aaron Gordon on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aarongordon/From his modest upbringing in a small, troubled town to confronting the complexities of his parents' divorce and financial struggles, Ryan's story is a testament to the power of love, support, and a tireless work ethic.His raw and inspiring narrative offers listeners an authentic look at the oft-concealed realities that forge a life of accomplishment.In a conversation celebrating human resilience, we navigate the nuances of overcoming adversity with the unwavering support of family and professional counseling.Ryan opens up about his loving parents' critical role in his ability to bounce back from life's setbacks, including job loss and personal challenges.We delve into the profound impact of a supportive network and the difference between merely partnering through life and fostering a connection filled with love.Ryan's journey underscores the unyielding commitment to moving forward, no matter the obstacles.Hear how Ryan uses his experiences to influence and teach the next generation about strength and discipline, particularly through his father-son relationship.He also shares insights into his preparation for life's unpredictability, emphasizing physical and mental readiness and the pursuit of self-improvement.Ryan's transformational approach to professional setbacks and his determination to rekindle his career, particularly in the insurance industry and digital marketing, reveal the importance of passion and perseverance. This episode is an invitation to embrace challenges, foster deep connections, and live by example for a legacy that transcends material wealth.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello everyone and welcome back to the show. Today we have a special audio exclusive episode. This is a podcast that I was on. A good friend of mine, Aaron Gordon, has the Keep Hustling podcast, which first, I want to highly recommend you go subscribe to. He has some incredible guests. He's asking incredible questions and I love the format. I love what he's doing.

But this was a very deep and interesting conversation. And we went in some places that I had never gone before on this podcast. And I wanted to do two things. I wanted to, one, share with you guys so that, you know, just to put this content in front of you. I thought that a lot came out of it. And Aaron got me talking about some things that I, you know I had never really gone into. So I wanted to share that with you. And two, I wanted to expose you to Aaron's podcast, the Keep Hustling podcast. So two things. I hope you enjoy this episode. I think you will. And number two,

go subscribe to Aaron's podcast if you're not subscribed because it's a wonderful podcast. He's doing wonderful work and he has some incredible guests on that show. So with that, let's get on to this interview that I did with Aaron Gordon on the Keep Hustling podcast. Welcome to Keep Hustling with my guest, Ryan Hanley. Thank you, Ryan, for being on the show. Dude, it is my pleasure to be here. It is great to have you.

A lot of people probably don't know that you and I are from the same state, even though we're from different parts of it, I think. And so for that, why don't we jump right into it? What do we need to know? Anyone who checks the show notes or does some research on you or hits just a quick Google of Ryan Hanley will see the amazing path that you've taken, the interesting path that you've taken, and the success that you've achieved. And many people will admire that. But the question is, where did it all start? What do we need to know about how Ryan Hanley was brought up that led him to be the beast that he is today? Yeah. So I've had to think about this a lot lately. I don't know why. You know, the last few months have been tough for a bunch of different reasons.

Nothing like – nothing terrible, terrible, but just, you know, things, challenges, things that make you think about things. And, you know, I came from nothing. Like outside of being white, I had zero advantages. You know, I came from nothing like outside of being white. I had zero advantages. You know what I mean? Like and look, as a white guy from the north, I would be an idiot to not say that. Look, there are certain advantages to being a white guy. I believe that, you know, and I'm tall.

That helps a little bit, I guess. Very tall things out. Listeners, very tall. Very tall. I'm six four out. For the listeners, very tall, by the way. Very tall. Yeah, very tall. I'm 6'4". When you meet him in the airport, it's scary. Yeah.

So, okay. So let's say I have those two advantages. My parents were divorced when I was six. I was raised in a camp on a lake that when we first moved in didn't have heat. We used space heaters. My dad was a mechanic on the railroad. My mom was a receptionist. So we weren't like hungry, but we didn't have anything. I was raised in a town of 900, which had the third most polluted body water in the state of New York in it. People used to say you could leave your doors open there because the criminals lived in that town.

They didn't steal from that town. And everything about it was bad. Every male was an alcoholic or a pothead or worse or just a deadbeat surrounded by people who lived in trailers who had it even worse than those of us who lived in homes. You know what I mean? So like, it was not a great place to grow up. My, you know, my only other blessing, I guess, than the ones that I already described is that while my parents were dysfunctional, to a certain extent, I got a tremendous amount of love. So they were both individually very good parents. So I did have that going for me despite, you know, like, look, like my dad went to jail three times while I was being raised three different times, my junior, senior year of high school and freshman year of college. I didn't see my dad once. Cause he was in jail.

So like going to college the day I came home and said to my mom, Hey, I think I'm going to go to college, her response was, oh, that's great. There was no expectation, no conversation. It was like, if I didn't go, she would have been happy. I mean, I think she thought I might because I had talked about it. But like, if I didn't, whatever, you know, I've had jobs since I was 12 years old. If I wanted money, like I used to go around and collect bottles at four 30 in the morning on Thursdays at 10 years old, like out of people's garbage cans so that I could return them for the 5 cent refund and make money. That's

like how I made money at 10. Cause I like needed money. Like I didn't have any money. So, you know, I have scraped and clawed outside again, blessed that both my parents, and despite some of the things that issues, my dad has had, he was in between the moments where he wasn't there. He was a tremendous father and he was very loving. He just had issues with alcohol. So like, you know, I was blessed in that I had love, but outside of those things, I have scraped, clawed, fought for absolutely everything that I had love. But outside of those things, I have scraped, clawed, fought for absolutely everything that I have. So I, there's very little, you know, and this is one of the reasons that I don't operate well in big bureaucracies is that there's a fear in bureaucracies of like your level

is going to be impacted or, and I could just give a fuck. I am exactly who I am. You cannot hurt me. You know, I'm not David Goggins. I'm not running 100 mile races. But like, you can't hurt me. I have been fired for the most ridiculous reasons. I have had, you know, like, you know, when I got divorced, I got kicked out of my house on my way to the most important business decision in my life. Out of left field, never even had a conversation about it like i've just had so many things happen in my life to me like that

you know i think and and i don't mean this to sound egotistical but i just it's real and the reason i can say this with confidence is because i've done so much work. Like, what could you fucking do to me? You know, me personally, you come after my kids, you hurt my kids. I'm going to get murderous and that could be a real impact to me. But what could you do to me? I don't know that outside of like, you know, someone doing something, like I said, murderous, you can't do anything. Fire me.

Okay. Look, the head of the big eye when I got fired from trusted choice literally called all the speaking gigs that I had booked and got me kicked out of those speaking gigs so I've literally been canceled inside the industry I you know what I mean like these are things that happen like they sound like crazy stories, but like, you know, just everything from just scraping and clawing and scratching and making it through college. Like I lost my financial aid in college after my freshman year because of an accounting issue and didn't go to University of Rochester for a semester and had to literally somehow, you know, through different clubs and connections, get ahold of the Dean. I got this Dean Burgett who I, who was unfortunately passed away before I ever got to meet him in person. But this guy literally turned my life around because I told him my story and he got me back into Rochester. And, and then, you know, I came out

with debt because obviously I was paying for it myself and just, dude, it's, it's been everything that I've accomplished or not is me. So like, I look at the world exactly as it is. If something happens that I don't like, I make it mad or frustrated or even depressed for a moment, but then I take it on and I say to myself, what could I have done better? How could I change that? And how do I make sure this doesn't happen again? And I fucking move forward. And like that doesn't work in some organizations and in others it does. And I've had tremendous amounts of success and I've had it all taken away from me and over and over and over again. And there's just nothing you can do to me.

Fire me. Okay. I'm just going to come back. I'm not going to stop. So like, there's a million things in there. I'm happy to answer any questions about it, but like, um, you know, this, this through line for me has just been getting my absolute balls kicked in over and over and over and over again. And I just don't stop. I just keep coming. I just keep coming back. I just never stop. First of all, if there's any story that I've heard doing this or not doing this for that matter, that is the living embodiment of keep hustling. It's, it's that I didn't even know most of those details. thank you first of all for sharing that as we I'm gonna I'm gonna press you on a couple of those things if that's okay yeah go ahead because

that's what this is about yeah but keep hustling is keep hustling I you you mentioned a couple of times the value that your parents being loving had to you. Yeah. And I have to believe that that made you believe that you would amount to something. Yeah. So my honest opinion is that if you have loving parents, it doesn't matter what shithole environment you come from. You have a chance. If your parents don't love you and don't show love to you, it's very, very, very difficult.

Even if you come from everything, even if you're given keys to the kingdom, if your parents can't express love to you, you will be a fuck up and you will have problems. It doesn't mean you can't deal with it, but you're gonna have problems. I'm blessed that I know at the end of the day, no matter what I do, no matter what if how many times

I get fired no matter what stupid shit I say do date this woman marry this woman for an extended period of time which everyone didn't stand uh you know no matter what the fuck happens they're there they love me you know what I mean and that that that goes a very long way it gives you a base to say like okay you know I'm gonna fall flat on my face again you know what I mean? And that goes a very long way. It gives you a base to say like, okay, I'm going to fall flat on my face again. You know what? And even if my mom doesn't have two nickels to rub together, she's going to give me the one that she does have to help me get back on my feet. Now, that hasn't happened or whatever. Ask her for that because whatever.

I'm just not going to do that to her. I mean someday I want to buy her a house outside of the fucking town that I was raised in because she still lives in the house that I was raised in. And I want to get her out of there and get her either closer to my kids or just someplace a little nicer. But I think that that has given me a foundation to do all the things that I've done, you know, like, um, I've never really found that connection with, uh, a woman, you know, even my wife who, who I was with for 13 years, she's a good person. And, you know, I make jokes, but like, you know, she, she's, she's a good person. She's a good mom, but we were more like business partners in life. You know what I mean? we were more like business partners in life.

You know what I mean? We were very good business partners. Like we did a very good job of running a house and raising children. But there was never like a tremendous amount of love between us. I didn't really realize that until, you know, the last few years. And, you know, kind of I've done a lot more work. I got really good advice about five years ago that I've held true to. A mentor of mine said, whether you think you have problems or not, for the rest of your life, find a counselor or a therapist and go see them every other week and just consider it a life expense. It doesn't matter

what's going on. It doesn't matter if you think you need it or you don't. Every other week for the rest of your life, go talk to somebody who is a professional. And I've done that for five years now. One of the best decisions I ever made. It's allowed me to grow, to talk through things, to, to, to be able to handle getting divorced, to be able to handle getting fired, get multiple times, you know, getting, you know, all these things that have happened, you know, launching rogue. And for the first five months, not selling a policy and, you know, watching $50,000 go up in smoke and feeling like, oh my God, I just took my shot. And, and, and outside of my control, I'm not even gonna have a chance to prove that this thing works. Like, you know, dealing with all those things,

you know, going and seeing that person was a big part of it. Um, reading, you know, but I think you fall back on the fact that like, you know, but I think you fall back on the fact that like, you know, I may not have outside of my kids, and probably my dad, I don't know that I've experienced like real love, love, you know, but I having that alone, man, you just need one person that loves you and everything's gonna be okay, in my opinion. And I and I do as I get older, you know, that word, when you're younger, you younger you know love I think it's a very shallow word you just can't understand it it takes time to understand the depth of what that word really means and like I have buddies you know that and even you know just people you just you you don't like it used to be like, you walk up to somebody,

you give them a handshake. Now you may do the hand tap, but then you go in for the bro hug. And you're like, I love you, dude. I think you're the best. Right. And you mean it and you know what it means. And that's not exactly the kind of love I'm talking about. But as you get older, you start to understand the depth and richness of what that word means and what that connection means cultivating it. And when you know, you have it and it's reciprocated, you feel like you can do anything. Even if that person is never going to be able to help you, like actually help you get to those places,

just having that, it allows you to, it's like a superpower. It's like getting handed a superpower you're like i you know you know this person loves you no matter what you're like well shit i can do anything man it it's it's so interesting to me and i i gotta i i believe that too by the way i believe that and i believe that there's especially parental everyone needs mentors but i think the parents have that because kids actually are brought up no matter what shortcomings their parents have they actually you can feel that kind of like inherently like this person you know changed my diaper in the middle of the night or whatever

cared for me more than when and the older you get you realize that like if they didn't care for you you wouldn't be here yeah but i got you you mentioned that there was a period of your teenage life so not you're not when you were young and can't remember that your father was incarcerated and yet you state and i believe that that it didn't impact the love and yet his influence on you and his you you still were you still felt like he was loving and therefore you could do anything and keep hustling through that and that inspired your hustle yeah but yet he couldn't actually do anything so so what is that and many would say he many would say his influence was the opposite because he was incarcerated so so what is that are certain aspects of his life that i've used

as an opposite template of what i want to be i mean that's for sure but my dad has my dad is is for you know look he is an irish catholic south buffalo guy who who was raised in a fucking train yard you know what i mean like he's a he's a railroader and they're hard and at the same time you know there was never a question that he loved me ever never a question never had a problem what does that mean just hug me tell me be there for me play with me you know whatever the things are he was in a jail cell for three years of that that's what i'm pressing yeah i'm trying to get the because that inspired you so what what yeah what what was that well i to me look i was i was angry but at the same time that's his life not my life and and i've never needed anybody for anything so like you know i didn't need him i i wanted him there

i wish that he could have seen my junior and senior year of baseball and football it was some of the best sporting years of my life I wish that he could have seen that I wish he could have been there through the process not that he could have helped me or influenced my decision but I would have loved for him to have been there as I was going and looking at different schools

which I went and looked at all of them by myself I took a fucking bus from Albany to Rochester which I've never it's the last time I've ever taken a by myself. I took a fucking bus from Albany to Rochester, which I've never, I it's the last time I ever taken a bus, nor will I ever take another bus the rest of my life, unless it's like some sort of travel bus. And I'm a professional speaker and someone is paying for me to be on like some bad-ass,

like, like Rolling Stone style. I'm in with you. Yes. Other than that, I'm knocking out. My grandparents used to take the bus from Syracuse to Port Authority. Yeah, yeah, no thanks.

For the Jewish holidays. That's crazy. Yeah, I hear you. Totally hear you. But maybe that's the influence. Maybe the influence was that his greatest impact was, I'm not even talking about the things that you said would be the opposite, but that the love and the support transcends everything.

People think that you have to be like, okay, son, I'm going to now show you how to build a, how to balance your checkbook or how to, no, they don't care what you say to them. Your kids don't care what you say to them. All your kids care about is what you do. They watch every frigging move that you, that you make. They watch every move and they do what you do. If you're fit, if you make working out a priority, your kids are going to see that and they're

going to understand what it means. If you read, your kids are going to see that and they're going to understand what it means. If you read, your kids are going to see that you read. If you work, your kids are going to see that you work. If you show love, if you give hugs, if you're compassionate, if you're funny, it doesn't mean they're going to be you, but they are going to see and grab onto everything you do as a framework for how to live their life. And what you want, in my opinion, what you want to do is give them the best framework to build upon. And so here's what I – so my dad, despite his shortcomings, said a couple things to me that have always stuck with me. At a very young age, and I don't know the context of why he started saying this to me, but he said it to me many times. When you become a father, your only goal in life is to make

your kids better than you. Not to give your kids a better life than you, but to make them better than you. Those are different things. And I think most, especially yuppie liberals, they fucking lose this, right? What's up, guys? Sorry to take you away from the episode. But as you know, we do not run ads on this show. And in exchange for that, I need your help. If you're loving this episode, if you enjoy this podcast, whether you're watching on YouTube or you're listening on your favorite podcast platform, I would love for you to subscribe, share, comment. If you're

on YouTube, leave a rating review. If you're on Spotify or Apple iTunes, et cetera, this helps the show grow. It helps me bring more guests in. We have a tremendous lineup of people coming in, men and women who've done incredible things, sharing their stories around peak performance, leadership, growth, sales, the things that are going to help you grow as a person and grow your business. But they all check out comments, ratings, reviews. They check out all this information before they come on. So as I reach out to more and more people and want to bring them in and share their stories with you, I need your help. Share the show, subscribe if you're not subscribed. And I'd love for you to leave a comment about the show because I read all the comments.

Or if you're on Apple or Spotify, leave a rating review of this show. I love you for listening to this show and I hope you enjoy it listening as much as I do creating the show for you. All right, I'm out of here. Peace. Let's get back to the episode. They think when they hear that I need to send my kid to the best school and I need to make sure he has the best friends and has the best clothes. And when he gets to a certain age and he's have the best car and it's like, nah, that's not making your kid the best kid. That's just giving your kid a freaking life that you you didn't have and i get it but that's not the goal when you become a father and again i'm not a mother and and i don't identify as a woman

so i can't talk for mom so please the women out there don't take this as me i just don't understand your role the way i understand being a dad okay so just that that's it there's nothing more to it. When you're a guy, you can be a complete fuckhead and wreck your kids' lives, or you can be a man and you can help them be better than you. Now, what that means is I try to teach my kids emotional control. I have severe ADHD that I deal with every single frigging day. And there are days when all I want to do is rage and be crazy and like talk at 10,000 miles an hour. And even right now I am throttling how fast I really want to speak. So like I, but that emotional control has, has been a detriment to me that, you know, at times before I really understood what was going on with me and why I was the way I was,

which I've only really figured out in the last few years, I would allow myself to get way out over my skis and not be able to operate with a level of emotional control that was appropriate. So what I try to do with my children is help them understand it. They're like, even if you're as mad as you've ever been in your life, there are appropriate moments, like maybe on a sports field, right? Or maybe when you're by yourself or et cetera, when letting that out is appropriate. And there are moments when that is inappropriate, not because that feeling is wrong, but because this moment, it will do nothing productive to show that now it will actually be bad for you. That would be bad. So, so that's like

one of the things and i talk to them like they're adults right i don't i don't talk to my kids like they're morons because they're not morons they're just they're just young they're you know i mean they just haven't had as many life experiences as me so like i talk to them about big concepts i talk to them about things like discipline i talk to them the things like strength and why you know this this driven world, we all need to be these cushy, soft, nice to each other is not the real frigging world. And we're starting to see that, right? Like, except for this period from like the 1950s to, you know, whenever a Barack Obama came into office, you know, we had this very, you know, kind of, probably until Trump, right? We had this

time period where everything was just safe. It was very safe. Everything was safe, safe, safe, safe, safe, right? It was just safe because there was so much prosperity. Well, that's, what, 70 years out of 2 million of human existence? Like, we have to be strong people. It doesn't mean, you know, and I talk to them about things like, you know, and I don't know how far off context we are here, but like I've said to him before, if I ever hear you bullying somebody, you're going to get it worse. If I ever hear that you watch somebody bully somebody else and you don't step in and stop that shit, that's when you're really going to get your ass whooped. I was like, we do not let you need to be stronger than these people, right? That's how shit gets bad. When strong people let shit happen to weak people, that's when stuff gets bad. And if you consider yourself a strong person, you need to not allow

that shit to happen. You need to step in and take the fuck. If someone's going to punch you in the face, but you protect that kid who's a weak, who maybe just isn't as strong or maybe comes from a liberal family, right? You need to step in and be the strength because someone needs to do it. All the crazy shit that's happening in our world today is because for a long time, we have been telling people that being weak, that being nice, that being passive, that being beta is somehow a virtue, and it is not. It is not a virtue. That does not mean that you're aggressive. It doesn't mean that you hurt people, that you're bullied. You have to separate it. And that's the nuance most people don't want to do. But Jordan Peterson says this as appropriately and perfectly as I know exists. The virtue is to be a fucking monster and then learn how to control it.

That's the virtue. There is no virtue in being weak. There is only virtue in being strong but knowing how to control it in everyday life so that you can operate in a positive manner in society. And these are the kind of things that I try to teach my kids. And by the way, I think that that's where a person – and I like that quote by Jordan Peterson, by the way. And that's where a person can actually have the most influence because when that child is the one – when that kid is standing up for the one who's being bullied, not only do they grow, does your child grow an extra six inches, you will metaphorically but that kid that they stood up for now when they could have had a negative experience and become that weaker person now may get to a place of strength yeah which is and then their hustle would be inspired and then they have a better chance

then they have a better chance of being more productive in their life personally and professionally because they were like, hey, this person believed in me enough to stand up for me, forgetting about the fact that why they were actually standing up was because what was going on was wrong. But I'm just saying that person now from a spectator is like, they didn't let me get punched in the face. Therefore, I'm worth something. Therefore, I'm worthwhile.

Therefore, I'm going to impact the world positively because they did too. Yeah. You know, it's so interesting to me. So much of our public discourse is seemingly centered around yuppie suburban lifestyle, right? Which is such a new thing to humanity. It's a brand. This is not even real. It's not even real life. It's not real life. Your cul-de-sac is not real life. It's beautiful and it's peaceful and I get it and I'm not knocking it. God bless you. But if you live on that cul-de-sac and you stick your head in the sand and you don't believe that the real world

exists out at the end of your road, you are doing your children a disservice. You're doing yourself a disservice, right? It's why I work out as hard as I do. It's why I, people make fun of me all the time. I put these boxing videos on Instagram. They're one, they're not for you. They're for me. They're so I, I literally watch them to see how I'm doing and to hold myself accountable. Cause want a diary of of my work not I don't think they're funny I think they're scary right so but I get all these comments oh boxing influencer I'm like do I look I'm 42 years old do I look like I'm gonna be a fucking I'm gonna go fight somebody I'm not gonna fight somebody however you know what I would like to be able to do if I'm ever put in a situation where my physical or my children's physical safety or someone I care about physical safety is on the line, I need to throw a punch.

I want to knock that motherfucker out. Point blank. And that's a life lesson, isn't it? It's preparing for the moment. Yeah. You have to put in a lot of work in anything to prepare for that moment because most people don't know when the moment's going to come. Physical, emotional, mental, psychological,

business professional. And if you don't, right, if you don't prepare, then you won't know what you could do, but you're always readying, readying, readying. So that then when fire comes, it's time to fire. So, so, so this, so I'm working on a book right now. I'm in the very early stages. I have it mapped out. A lot of the social content I've been putting out are like drips of thoughts, ideas that I've captured. But I'm working on this book. The entire idea of the book is exactly what you just said. It's the idea of preparing yourself for life, right? Not because – I think I've recently, and I think because the last two years since I was kicked out of my house by my ex-wife, I've been on a very, very deep journey to better myself and put myself in a position to win because I thought I at least had her to count on and realize that I didn't. Right. So I truly every day feel like this is it's got to be me.

Like I can't. I hope that someday I find another female that I feel like I can count on. I would love for that to happen. But I need to make sure that I can survive myself and be happy and be content alone and strong in that place in order to do that, I think. Okay, so let's take that. But I've been on this journey, and I've posted a lot of it online. Again, not for the audience. It's for me.

I want my kids to be able to look back at, say, my Instagram handle and go, that was my dad. Look at him. You know what I mean? These are the virtues that mattered to him. This is how hard he worked. Like, this is who he was. Because they're 9 and 7. They don't fucking know. I mean, they see things right now, but they

don't see me every day. They don't really know who I am. So, um, so I get a lot of these messages. This just happened. Why happened? Z happened. What should I do? And, and I'm always so appreciative. And if anyone has questions that they think I can help with leadership, discipline, working out Ryan at finding peak.com, you can email me anything. I'm always happy to help my, I get almost zero pleasure from my own, from any success or accolade about myself. It's my, my life's mission is to help other people. It's, it's my calling is to help. I can, I can attest to that. Yeah. And's my calling is to help other people. I can attest to that. Yeah, and I will always help everything that I can.

I just – you know what I mean? Like I probably cause myself more stress and less financial success because I'm just willing to help. I just – you know what I mean? I don't know. I should have like a program or something, but I don't know. That being said, like my – I try very much to help them. But then I always at some point try to spin it back around to we need to get out ahead of these things. If you're 50 pounds overweight, you don't have to be an Adonis. But we got to start preparing because Joe Rogan said it the other day.

Have you ever seen an obese 80-year-old? Probably haven't because they don't exist. You don't make it to 80 if you're obese. So, and, and, and the sad part is what obese means has been creeping and creeping more towards of you being obese. So like you can say, Hey, you know, Ryan, you're, you're fat shaming. Cause you called someone a slob. Maybe, but that person's not going to be alive at 80. That's just a fact. And by the way, that's, that's physical. We haven't even gotten into emotional, emotional, psychological, relational, um, energy, spirituality. Like, do you know yourself? Right. Like, relational, energy, spirituality. Like, do you know yourself, right? Like, and I'm on a journey right now.

I don't want anyone to think that I'm a guru. I don't think that I am. I have learned a lot. I read a lot. I talk to a lot of people. I feel like the last, I'd say five, since Elevate 2017 to today, I've been on this journey. The last two years since I was kicked out of my house has been intensive

work, very intensive. And so I feel good about where I am on the journey, but I don't want anyone to think that I'm like a finished product. That would be crazy. So, but it's prep bud. It's that's,

that's the book. It's the, it's everything I do at finding peak. The reason I created finding peak was to prepare people for your wife. You know, you think everything's great and you have a great relationship with her wife and she gets fucking cancer. What are you going to do? You got to do everything now, right?

She's got her own journey she's got to go on. Are you mentally prepared for that? Are you going to fall apart? Because at night, every night you're hammering pot and drinking beers and eating shitty food, and you don't have the mental energy to make it through an hour of a regular day, let alone a day where the person you love more than anyone else in the world now is fucking cancer. Are you mentally prepared for that? Because I think we need to prepare now for those things so that we can be at our best when they happen.

Right. Instead of getting to that moment, all of a sudden going, Oh my God, I need a therapist or I got to get in shape because I can't handle this anymore. You're fucked at that point. You're already in the storm. You know what I mean? And by the way, the things that you've prepared for that don't come, you're not worse off because you're prepared for them.

No, no. Right. Cause then you can, no one can say that. No, no, you're, you are better across the board. You're, you're. You're always better. And to me, I can't see any other path, dude. I just can't see any other path. I can't see – I read the Old Testament.

I've read the New Testament. I'm not a scholar, so whatever. But I've read those books. I'd put right below the Bible for me is Jordan Peterson's 12 rules for life. I can give everyone a laundry list of frameworks that I think could help you if that's what you're looking for. But the truth is, I'd say step number one is get your ass in the gym and figure out what you're made of. Because what that'll do is it's going to start to show you the places that you that you struggle with, right? Maybe you like, get halfway through

a workout and you start talking yourself out of it. Well, that means that you struggle with right maybe you like get halfway through a workout and you start talking yourself out of it well that means that means you need to work on discipline maybe you just need to work on mental energy maybe you work on physical okay so let's work on diet maybe you're not dude maybe you're up till 1 a.m watching shitty tv every day and you're only getting five hours so okay now we know where that problem is right so like i feel like it exposes us yeah sorry sorry for the trouble but it's so crazy you say that because uh you know that i'm a practicing orthodox jew and one of the things that we do we fast there's six fast days a year but two of them we fast from sundown to sundown so 25 hours no

obviously i'm not talking about people who are sick, but the average person fast with no water and no food for 25 hours. You can't have water either? Nothing. Gotcha. Zero. Now, what's interesting about that is the average person, again, I'm not talking about people who are sick, so I don't want to get to that. Obviously, people have diabetes, and I'm not getting there.

The average person can fast for 25 hours. At a certain point, it just becomes mental. Yeah. At a certain point, when there's a half hour to go or an hour to go, you're not going to collapse. You're just not. You have enough hydration in your body that it's just that's just not going to happen. So I started thinking about this. And it's like, you know, people take these like slow release

caffeine tablets so that they don't get the caffeine headache. And I'm pretty convinced that one day those things would come out that they're just a placebo, but that's the mental side. But it's just incredible to me, the people who prepare and actually put themselves through those things. Then when something comes up, like there probably will not be a time in my life where I will not have access to food for 25 hours. It's probably not going to happen. Right. I mean, thankfully where we live, you know, just not going to happen. But what about the next thing where it's like, okay, if I could get past

that mental hurdle, when it's, when my brain said my body can't do it, then what can my body do next? I want to, I want to pivot to business if that's okay yeah i'll give you a business example of this i'll give you a business example so i was in ohio at the big eye of ohio event uh probably four or five years ago um great great group love them um this scenario was no fault of theirs uh i'm have about 200 people in the room and about five minutes from going on i'm sitting in front and all of a sudden i see the uh va guys in the back scrambling like a like a bee's nest right they're just but i can i can tell something's going on i turn around the the screen is off my mic i flick that on real quick nothing that's toast uh and i can actually see a little bit of smoke coming out of the computer

literally the guy's computer went blue smoke. Like, you know, like the ideal scenario. Ideal scenario. Gone. So I, you know, kind of walk back and I go, hey, guys, what's going on? They go. They like had nothing to say. Right.

They were like, they're like, we got nothing. So I said, all good. Do your thing. Go take a break. I got you. Turn around. Took my thing off. I go, guys, this is all broke. We're just going to go anyways. No slides. No, no, no mic. Nothing. No music, no intro. We just, and we had a great time and people were clapping and laughing and engaging and talking. And we had an amazing

time because I prepped for that. I was so prepared physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, content wise for that moment that the fact that everything about the thing was fucked didn't even faze me. I just said, yep, we're going to do it without slides. Here we go. And off we went because I didn't go, why does this happen to me? I didn't go, oh my God, my throat is going to hurt tomorrow from yelling. I didn't say, what am I going to say next? I don't have my slides.

I don't know. Right? don't know. Right. I just, I had prepared myself in every aspect of that engagement and was physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally prepared and had the content up here dialed in that it was as if we had planned it. And I started doing presentations without slides after that, because I actually appreciated the audience engagement more than when you do have slides and um that's one of those moments where like look that's a business moment where if I'm if I'm hungover if I'm out of shape carrying extra weight I may not have mental energy right may have foggy brain uh if I'm like a woe is me negative pessimistic person that doesn't work um maybe I start worrying about how I'm gonna feel the next is me negative pessimistic person that doesn't work.

Maybe I start worrying about how I'm going to feel the next day or the way my, cause my throat hurt the next day. Cause I'm fucking screaming at these people for an hour. So like, you know, all those things could have been negatives. And instead I was like, fuck it. We're just going to kill it anyways. Let's go. And that was only because of preparation. I couldn't have spun that up and done that if I hadn't done all the work

beforehand to be ready for that moment. That is keep hustling par excellence. I got to pivot back to something else you said. Yeah, yeah. Because when I think of Ryan Hanley, the hustler, this is what I think about. Okay. The guy you said, right, basically thrown out of an industry. Yeah. And anybody, and I, I, I encourage everyone who's listening, look Ryan Hanley up. You'll see he's literally

a superstar in the insurance industry. And I'm not just saying that I'm saying that because it's part of my question. It's like you said, someone went out there, had all your speaking engagements canceled. And I personally, Aaron Gordon in the last few years have been at your speaking engagement so i know that something turned around yeah and like you obviously i know i know you're gonna say that you just dropped a huge f-bomb on everyone's face which i get but like how did you do how'd you come back you could have done a million other things that I know you tried something for a little while. But like, how did you get yourself to a place where you were like, I know that the hill in front of me is steep. I'm not starting at zero. I'm starting at negative 100.

How do you get back to the top? How do you find that peak? Not to be cliche, but like, how do you get back there? You think I'm gonna let that fascist fucker stop me from doing what I want to do? That's how he wins. He wins when I give in give in they also sued me they did a whole bunch of shitty stuff to me i don't give a fuck you know i mean like to me what does that mean what what does that actually mean when you put your head on the pillow and you're like oh i think i want to get back to the insurance industry after they kick me out and i i don't care about them it was never about them

it's also never been about my own celebrity or what people think about me. I want to help independent. I want to help anybody really. I mean, the stuff I do at finding peak isn't specifically to the insurance industry, but you know, I find, I find insurance people to oftentimes be some of the highest quality, just deep, rich, amazing people who think so little about themselves in their career. And I felt like it was on me to help them understand how important they are, how important their work is, how amazing they are, how they can start talking about what they do in ways that actually provide value and provide meaning and substance and purpose. And like, you know, that's what we did at Agency Nation was our sole message was being an insurance agent is cool. Like you're, it's a great job. Like you are important.

And people were like, we were like one of the first ones before that. It was like, everyone was like, oh, you know, don't talk about the fact or, you know, we're kind of, oh, you'd like whisper the fact that you're an insurance agent. I was like, no, what the fuck is wrong with you? As a profession, we give more per capita to charity than any other industry in the entire country. We are the bedrock of local communities. This is important. You are important. like like that and again if you think back where i came where i came from dude this industry

despite the fact that it keeps rejecting me like a fucking virus um like it has given me so much i mean i came from you know dude second hand sweatpants and shopping for clothes at fucking garage sales to, you know, and my parents did the best they could. That's not a, I don't mean that my mom was like, well,

you make it sound like relief was so terrible. I was like, wow, they did call our house the crack house, man. But like, you know, it,

it, it's given me so much despite all that. And there's so many amazing people in it that I'm not going to let some bureaucratic fucker who, who's got a vendetta against me for whatever reason. He wins when I stop, and people like him. So I'm not going to let that guy who I know made decisions that weren't in the best interest of the industry, at least from my perspective. I wasn't going to let him win.

So I had this mission and purpose and people that I wanted to help, and I love doing it to this day. I love talking to insurance audiences. I love that there's a good thing. I think that people are sharing and creating and, and, uh, there's, there's a whole new crop of young talent that's doing amazing stuff. And it makes me so happy because there are, you can go look and find articles in the insurance journal, specifically naming me and Jason Cass as like pariahs, like that we were spreading misinformation about the industry and that, you know, we need to be careful when you're listening to the things we say. And I think that, you know, for, for however you feel about cast and whoever you feel about me, I'm very proud of the fact that I think we blazed a trail for even people like yourself, dude, to come in and have these, have these platforms and have carriers, accept them,, vendors accept them, other agents, communities accept them. I think we took a lot of the early fodder and it's something I wear as a badge of honor. A hundred percent. And you know that I'm grateful to you. And I can't imagine what it was like doing that. That's crazy. And now that I think about like, they probably gave you like a dress code for the speaking engagement. D speaking engagement. I have people heckling. I've had,

I've had dude in the early days, I had hecklers every time I've had guys yell out. I had one time we were in Connecticut at a big eye event. It's probably like 65 people. It's a young agent event. And this guy was not a young agent. I don't know what he was doing there. He's easily in his mid fifties and he is it. So I'm doing my thing. He is sitting back in this chair with his feet up on a round table, like a douche. And about halfway through, he just goes, Nope. And so I'm like, so I kind of stopped and I look at him and I'm waiting, you know, I'm waiting for more. He's responding to me talking about, I'm talking about digital marketing, you know, controversial thing here um and uh you know he's going nope nope nope that's bad advice he's saying

that's bad advice and i go oh really you know talk to me about that and he goes my client he goes i've been in the business for i'm like this is fat old white guys you you know? And I'm like, I've been in the business and I'm like, okay, so you ever shop for a house online? Whoa, that's different. I go, Oh, Oh, I go, well, okay. How about now you, any of your clients ever shop online for a house ever? Does that ever happen? They've never done it. None of your clients have ever shopped online for a house. Well, you know, I mean, and I'm like, so let's start making, you know, and by the end, you're right. So I have this whole thing at this point, he didn't realize who he was playing with. He thought that he thought he thought he was going to come in and be the big dick. And he

didn't realize that he was, I, he, you know, he was a minnow swimming in a shark pond. So I basically the sole second half of this presentation and I got his name once he told me his name i knew he was fucked his name was bill and i'm just like bam bam bam bam maybe not bill's customers but here's how you get i started going here you want bills you guys want bill's customers i'm gonna show you how you get bill's customers right so i started using him as my by the end he's laughing he comes he comes up and he goes so uh like how much would it cost just to have you come in and i was you know so it was funny and he was a good guy but like dude that kind of shit was every presentation there'd be one or two of those guys usually it would be white dudes over 50 they'd all be in the back they'd be standing

most of the time they wouldn't even sit and they'd just be in the back they'd be standing most of the time they wouldn't even sit and they'd just be shaking their head no and talking amongst each other the whole time that was normally what happened um but every once in a while they'd have something to say and usually regret it um and and it was just it was i don't know i found it to be fun i mean i i love that i i those that kind of confrontation like you know it's just hard man like they don't know. I found it to be fun. I mean, I, I love that. I, I, those, that kind of confrontation, like, you know, it's just hard, man. Like they don't know. They look at me. So look, when you look at me, I'm six foot four, I'm 192 pounds. I'm in shape. I'm like a reasonably decent looking guy. I come off very preppy.

The way I dress is very preppy. I just like to dress preppy. I don't, I don't know. So like, I think they look at me and they see, like, probably they think maybe, like, Ivory Tower or, like, really nice suburban, you know, whatever. Like, who the fuck is this guy? And they don't realize that, like, you know, outside of, like, being raised in another country and going through war or, like, being maybe in an inner city and have to deal with like true, like crack issues and shit like that. I had all the other stuff, heroin, uh, pot, alcoholism, trailer park life. Like that was what I came out of.

So like you and your shirt that doesn't fit, that isn't tucked in in the back because it's not, you know, wide fit or whatever. Like you, you're, you're do not come up here unless you're ready to play and uh i think once once people started to realize that um i was willing to fight back and i think eventually once they got to know me that i did really at my core i cared about it was i was only sharing this message as a way to care about people. And then in all fairness, dude, I also did, like, I listened to their feedback. I didn't want them to dislike me, right? And I wasn't doing it to be purposely combative.

That was also not the point. So over time, I have massaged my message in a way that allows those individuals to feel heard and understand and understood while still delivering this innovative message. So, so I tried to take on some of that responsibility as well to say, okay, I'm just not going to keep coming out here and punching these guys in the face. That doesn't work. I want them to be on board as much as the young kids in the front. So is there a way that I can draw everybody in? And, you know, I think over the years I've been able to do that. I don't know about anyone else's you know, I think over the years I've been able to do that. I don't know about anyone else who's listening, but I'm pumped after listening to you.

This is, I started this podcast to hear from hustlers and to have people inspire others hustle and listening to your hustle. I've, I believe that we started with love and then we got to, if you have a mission in life that you believe in the mission and your mission is to ultimately do good for yourself and for others, then nothing can stand in your way and you can keep hustling right through that. There's meaning and purpose. Like, so everything, everything I've read, everything I've learned, you know,

all the talks I've had with mentors, coaches, family, friends. I really struggle. One thing that's hard is that I struggle with is people who are not willing to go deep, like shallow, like, I don't mean shallow, like, like, like physical appearance, shallow, like that kind of shallow people who maybe they stop. They just don't, they're not willing to go deep. Yeah. But, but anyone who willing. I'll have that conversation.

I mean, I've had conversations with people on airplanes and airports. I don't always love talking on airplanes, but anyone who's willing. God, you've got to be a fun. I would love to sit next, not next to you on the airplane. I would love to do that, but I would love to be the guy behind you when you're cutting it up with the guy next to you who immediately regrets not just watching his screen. I got you.

I don't love. What's up, buddy? Hey, I'm just on a call. I'm almost done, all right? All right. All right. Sorry, my kid's gone. That is literally, just for the listeners, if you can't see,

Ryan's kid just got home, and he went from being this tough guy to this like mush softly. We're going to lose the passion, but that's OK. I want I want to close. We close this podcast with we ask our guests to please share their current or lifetime favorite inspirational and motivational quote. But in your case, I'm going to tell you that you can't use the Jordan Peterson that you just used. Okay. I got another one. So I got to take another one. Go for it. This one is by Ralph Waldo Emerson, and it is from his epic essay, which I have now read seven times self-reliance. And it goes like this. God will not have his work made manifest by cowards. There's not much more that needs to be said. Hi, Ryan.

I appreciate it. I appreciate you. I appreciate your candor, your honesty. Anyone who wants to reach you will have all your information in the show notes. As we close every podcast, I would like to remind our listeners, always do well by doing good.

And of course, always and forever. Thank you. so Thank you. so Close twice as many deals by this time next week. Sound impossible? It's not. With the OneCall Close system, you'll stop chasing leads and start closing deals. In one call. This is the exact method we use to close 1,200 clients under three years during the pandemic. No fluff, no endless follow-ups, just results fast. Based in behavioral psychology and battle-tested, the one-call closed system eliminates excuses and gets the prospect saying yes more than you ever thought possible. If you're ready to stop losing opportunities and start winning,

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