The Ryan Hanley Show - 3 Hard Truths the Military Teaches About Success | Will Grimes

Episode Date: August 16, 2024

Became a Master of the Close: https://masteroftheclose.comStep into the world of high-stakes transitions with our special guest, Will Grimes, a former Marine and special operations veteran who has carved out a remarkable path in real estate. Go Deeper Down the Rabbit Hole: https://linktr.ee/ryan_hanleyConnect with Will GrimesWebsite: https://www.willgrimes.com/Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/day-one-dollar-zero/id1471479022Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/will_grimes/Approaching his 40th birthday, Will reflects on how his military and law enforcement background have profoundly influenced his approach to business and leadership. Join us as Will shares insights about understanding personal strengths and weaknesses, the art of protecting one's time, and the value of finding the right tribe in his journey of self-discovery.As we explore the evolution of Will's leadership style, contrasting the rigid hierarchy of the Marine Corps with the adaptability required in business, we uncover the importance of self-reflection and ego management. Will's personal anecdotes shed light on transitioning from an authoritative to a supportive leadership approach, illustrating how confidence tempered with humility leads to effective leadership. With stories that showcase the balance between ambition and discipline, Will emphasizes the significance of a mission-driven life and the continuous drive needed to avoid complacency.The conversation reaches deeper into the reality of success and motivation, uncovering how tangible pain can be a more compelling motivator than abstract dreams. Through vivid personal stories, including financial struggles and ultimate triumph in real estate, Will highlights the necessity of continuous stimulation and goal-setting to maintain momentum. We conclude with valuable lessons on balancing ambition with practical reality, the importance of self-awareness, and the development of a diverse set of emotional and mental tools for greater effectiveness. This episode is packed with actionable insights and inspiring stories — a must-listen for anyone seeking personal and professional growth.(00:00) The GNF Era(11:17) Leadership and Ego(15:43) Balancing Ego and Maturity(20:17) Regrets and Lessons Learned(32:05) The Reality of Success and Motivation(36:47) Embracing Ambition and Discipline(46:18) Finding Your Formula for Success

Don't try to heal my scab, and I know I left way more on the table than I should have, and I like that that's a scab, because brother, ever since then, I've been balls fucking deep in anything I've ever done. Let's go. Yeah, make it look, make it look, make it look easy. The Ryan Hanley Show shares the original ideas, habits, and mindsets of world-class original thinkers you can use to produce extraordinary results in your life and business. This is The Way. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the show.

We have a tremendous conversation for you today with Will Grimes. is a former Marine, worked in special operations. And we talk about how he took both the beats in his personal life, as well as the lessons learned in his military career and applied those to his business life in so much as rapidly building a seven figure business in the real estate industry, both as an actual real estate investor and now as a real estate agent coach. He's also the host of an incredible podcast. Will is a dynamic dude who just drips one-liners, big ideas. You're gonna love this show. And if you didn't have energy

before you turned on this podcast, you will certainly be jacked up at the end. If this is your first time listening to the show, whether you're listening or watching on YouTube, make sure you hit that subscribe button so you get all future episodes. And I just want you to know, as always, I appreciate you for listening to this show. I love you for listening to the show. Let's get on to Will Grimes.

Let's start there, man. You're turning 40. You told me before we went live that things are know things are starting to hit your brain you're starting to think about things a little differently you said and I agree with you it kind of is your first adult birthday in which you're like I'm not a kid anymore not old but I'm not a kid so what what thoughts are creeping into your mind what's going on with that yeah are we starting right now or do you have an intro yeah yeah no we go no, we'll go right now. Cool. So, well, the main thought that I have, man, is I feel like, so growing up, 40 was like, I thought it was over, right?

Like we all probably grew up, like you're 43. So we grew up with baby boomer parents. You work somewhere for 25 years and you retire, like 40 seemed old. 40 seemed like you're, you kind of are what you are. And if you ain't happy by now, you ain't going to be happy, you know? And I feel like for me, I'm just now putting fucking colors on my shirt, man. Like, and I feel like I'm just now getting into a great level of self-awareness, great level of understanding what I'm good at, what I'm not good at, who I like, who I don't like, what I like, what I don't like, where my

skill sets apply, where they don't. I feel like I'm just now getting to like a great level of understanding all that. And as I'm approaching 40, I feel like I'm starting to put them all together, if that makes sense, right? Like my thirties, uber grind, not like I knew who I was, but not as a business guy, man. Like I did just under a decade in the Marine Corps as an infantryman I spent a little time under special operations command so there's certain identities and there's certain proficiencies there but then man I was a cop for a while medal of honor recipient as a cop they call it the guardian angel award so I was this thing and then like my 30s when I decided to leave the police department and get into real estate, a lot of that applied to managing people's stress and leading them.

And I was, dude, I was great at leading other, my 30s was leading other people and managing client emotions and just all of those great things. As I'm approaching 40, I feel like all of that work helped get me to understand myself better. And you'll see a lot of it man a lot of people know the right answers for everybody else and a lot of times you might have a good opinion they did they just can't seem to do it for themselves yeah right like use the gym for an example dude there's a gym on every corner and if you ask anybody regardless of their fitness level hey how do you get in better shape Everyone to a decent level can talk about eating healthier,

eating less, exercising more. Hey, what kind of workouts should I do? Like, oh, cardio is good for your heart. Like, they'll have a good understanding, dude, better than most people might think, right? It's not about like knowing or having the resource. It's about getting yourself to do it. Yeah.

And I feel like 40 is, man, you're just, you're starting to take some of your own advice and you're starting to really like protect your time and you're not trying to fit in with all the cool kids anymore. And you've kind of found your tribe and not that you're not open to new friends, but you just know the type of people you gravitate to. And you don't necessarily have to pick fights or defend your case anymore. It's more so just, I think it's a lot more internal conversation I've gotten a lot more quiet even though I'm running my fucking mouth on a podcast right now I feel like I'm I really enjoy solitude you know I feel like it comes natural because you tend to have a lot more self-reflection as you start approaching 40 for me. Yeah. So I call your forties, uh,

the GNF era of your life. GNF give no fucks. Cool. So, uh, one of my, one of my audience members, I can't see it back here cause it's blurred out, but, uh, uh, made me like this little wooden, you know, he made it in his wood shop or whatever. And it's just the letters GNF and it sits back there as a reminder.

But, you know, you hit a certain point where, and you said it, like you stop caring necessarily what people think. And I try to explain this because I've had a lot of people online push back on me when I share this message like, well, the fact that you're saying you don't care means you care. And it's like, no, that's not what I'm trying to convey. And I'm also not saying that we shouldn't be aware of what people think of us. There's this thing where like – and I think a lot of people take Gary Vaynerchuk out of context who's a big – who pushes this concept quite a bit. They're like, well, I just don't care what people think. And I'm like, nah, that's the wrong way to look at it.

What the way that we have to approach this, I think this particular mindset is be aware of what other people think. It's okay to listen to people, to what people say, but do not base your life on what other people say. Do not base your decisions on what other people say. Because someone could have a critique of you that helps you improve who you are. Maybe something you're missing. Maybe something there's a blind spot in your game that you're not seeing. And maybe it's some random commenter. Maybe it's a friend. Maybe it's an enemy, right? Makes a comment or a critique about something you're doing. And if you're not aware of that, you can't take it in as a data point. But I do think in our 40s, we start to say to ourselves, okay, who do I want to be?

Who am I? What makes me who I am? And we start to be able to filter where in our teens we obviously can't. That's why peer pressure in our teens is so relevant. And I think that plays into your 20s. I your 30s you start you start that disconnection but there's something about our late 30s early 40s where we go you know i'm this person that i don't care that so and so doesn't like me or i don't care that this person disagrees with my take this is who i am i you know what. You know what it comes from, man?

It comes from intent. Yeah. Like I'm not mistake free and I'm not free from people maybe misinterpreting something I do or something I say. But the ones that are closest to me that know me, they know that my intent is good. They know that regardless of my background, dude, my intent is never to hurt or harm. I'm a super funny guy. I love humor. I literally fall asleep. They know that regardless of my background, dude, my intent is never to hurt or harm. I'm a super funny guy. I love humor.

I literally fall asleep. When people ask like how I sleep so well, I literally fall asleep to Cat Williams. Okay. I fucking giggle myself to sleep, dude. I love comedy. But it's like, no matter what you do, everyone's going to see it from the lens that they're looking through. Correct. So if you please this person, you're not pleasing that person.

If you're pleasing that person, then this person's not pleased. Or if you make sense to this person, this person won't see it. But okay, so try to have it make sense for him, but then he's not going to make sense of it. It's never a win across the board. What matters is your intent, right?

And like, it's such an important word and people that know me closest, that understand me, like they know my intent's good. I do care about what people think when it comes to my inner circle, right? Like my family, my wife, my kids, my business partner who's my best friend, they know my intent is never to harm. So when they've got corrections for me, I'm all ears because they have permission to give that to me because I also think that they know me well enough to have context on why I would do something in the first place. Folks online or folks that just don't know you so well, even if their intent is to like help you, they just don't necessarily understand everything that's going on or why you're doing what you're doing. And hey, no harm, no foul,

like unsolicited advice is probably the worst type of advice, correct? But for me, man, I think we stopped giving a fuck, you know, in the nature of what you're talking about, because the better you get with yourself, the less you have to prove to others. When you're younger, you don't even necessarily know who you are yet. So you're proving yourself to something or someone because it validates you for you. But when you understand how to validate yourself for you, because you're doing what you say you're going to do, you're losing the weight. You say you're going to wait, you know, you're going to lose your, you're training the way you say you're going to train. You're approaching your business and your family, the way that you say you're going

to church because you said you were going to go, you're giving your kids more time because that's what you said you had to work on. And when you start being true to your own word to yourself and the voice that's inside here that you have the conversation with, when you start being true to your own word to yourself and the voice that's inside here that you have the conversation with, when you start being true to that guy or that girl in here, you just require less validation from the outside world because you don't need it from there anymore. When you don't know who you are and you're not even having that conversation yet, then typically the validation comes from the outside, which is why you keep trying to prove yourself to them. How do you develop that self-awareness? I think you have to fuck up enough, dude. I've gotten in fights with friends and not felt good about it. I've bitched somebody out at a stoplight and not felt good about it. You know, I've, I've bitched a Marine out and not felt good about it. And even dude, here's where I got as well, man. Like, I think the beginning is you jumped the gun and you think you're right and

you're not, and you bitch somebody out or you make something an issue that didn't have to be an issue. And that doesn't feel good. And you're like, man, I gotta, I gotta correct that. But then, you know, the last phase probably two, two years ago, even when I had the right to bitch somebody out, even when I was in the right, it still doesn't feel good to throw it. Because after the fact, you don't feel any better. And what I started recognizing was making things issues that didn't have to be issues or a bigger issue when it could have just been kept to a minimum or just chewing someone out, even when you were right, I didn't feel good after. And it's like, man, that's what they mean about protecting your energy.

And now, dude, like we've got. Are you tired of endless follow-ups and missed opportunities in your sales process? Chasing leads is a losing game. That's why I created the One Call Close System, a battle-tested sales system that uses behavioral psychology to close deals in just one call. No more, let me think about it. No more, I'll get back to you. Using the One Call Close System,

we took new reps from 25% close ratio to over 80% in just three months. To grow fast, you must close deals faster at zero extra marketing cost. The one call close system allows you and your reps to build trust, address pain points, all while watching your revenue skyrocket. Ready to stop chasing leads and start closing? Visit masteroftheclothes.com today. Close twice as many deals this time next week. Visit masteroftheclothes.com to learn how. homes this year so far like we do a lot of business man we have a lot of people that work for us and i got to it man about two years ago this is not the marine corps you don't have to be here i don't have to be here if i have to chew your ass or ride your ass like a marine i'm not gonna i'm just gonna move on yeah i mean because like dude this isn't this isn't 18 year

old marines that need culture shock and ask showing to wake him up and grow him up because we're preparing for war. That's not what this is. But it takes time to really grow into a different, more effective leader. Right. Does that make sense? And there's like this hierarchy in the military. What I had there was you're picking up rank. Like when you pick up sergeant, that was like your first adult rank in the Marine Corps. The way Marines treat you, the way your higher ups treat first adult rank in the Marine Corps. The way Marines treat you, the way your higher ups treat you, especially in the infantry community. If you had a battalion commander who's in charge of 500 people still yelling at an individual Marine, it's like, no, man, he has more command presence than that. He's got more leverage with

leaders around him than that. If he's got a problem with something he sees a Marine do, he's going to go get that Marine's platoon commander and he's going to handle it diplomatically. And it's like, at some point as we grow older, the hard part in business as entrepreneurs, and the hard part is just growing up, is we're not getting promoted. Nobody's pinning sergeant on me. Nobody's pinning gunnery sergeant on me. Like you have to just come to these, these self-reflections on your own and realize man I'm disrespected now I'm this big in business I've got three kids I'm this age so how people handle me and appreciate my command presence when I walk it's like I don't have to be the enforcer anymore like let these

young bucks who's are in their 20s and 30s like prove themselves and figure themselves out I should have a more effective way to lead than just that guy I used to be, right? Like you got to find a better way. And I think it's just through self-reflection and not feeling good about just chewing someone's ass. You're like, man, that didn't feel good. Change it. But I think it's the conversations and just we all do.

We know us. Yeah. People might not admit it. You know when you don't feel good walking away from something. Yeah. Do you think, to me, so much of the mistakes that we make in our lives has to do with ego, right? And the role ego plays in how we operate ourselves. And one of the biggest changes that I saw through, you know, my thirties are, I could write, I could write multiple books on all the mistakes that I made in my thirties. I mean, just, you know, just, uh, you know, I had the position of my dreams

at a company I enjoyed that, you know, I had a 27 person team working for me, 23 people working for me at the time, everything was great. And then I got fired and, you know, I look back at that thing and okay, so there's that thing. And then, you know, this happened and I started this and this, and you look and like all of it to me, self-reflection allows you to break apart your ego. And when your ego starts to break apart, it opens up that awareness, right? Like if we haven't dealt with our ego, because the thing that to me, the thing that makes me yell at somebody is my ego. I got I got to teach this person how to do this thing. Right. And it's like, wait a minute. Well, is that what that person needs?

Are they going to respond well to that? Is that what's best for the company? I think it's ego for sure, but it's not so much getting rid of your ego. I think it's just understanding where to place it and how to express it. So, for example, when you start looking at Marine Corps infantry stuff or professional sports, when Mike Trout goes to home plate, plate that dude openly says i'm in there and i'm the best in the world at this and this is what i do and i'm the best in the world and here's how i'm going to perform and he's like hey man if you don't think that way you're in trouble and then

one would say ego has to be involved in there right of like being able to now you got to work hard and prepare hard and have a certain level of result to even tell yourself that and halfway believe it when you're at home plate in a major league baseball game. But I think it's in a moment where it's, it's not only okay, but he's also expressing in a certain way. He's not boasting. He's quiet. He's not boasting at the plate. Mike Trout doesn't flip a bat. Mike Trout doesn't rub shit in people's face. He's not boasting.

But internally, he's got control of that ego. He's got control of that fucking lion that's like, hey, man, I'm the fucking best at what I do. And the only expression of ego you're going to see is when I hit this fucking bomb, or when I hit this double in the bottom of the ninth to win the game, so I think it's like, man, you know, because people say like, you know, kill your ego, kill your, and it's like, I've never been a fan of all or nothing, I've never been a fan of all the time or never. Because I don't think it's a proper answer. I don't think there's a blanket statement or a fix all of get rid of something completely. No, and some of ego feeds confidence, right? Like you've got to have some ego and pushes into the hard work that you do that then creates a result that then says, hey, man, I am good at this and I can do it. Like, I tell you what, buddy, like when I was a cop, if you saw the

calls we went on, if you don't have a little bit of ego, a little bit of chip on shoulder that says when I boot this door, I'm the guy that needs to be booting that door. Buddy, I don't know if I'm saving you. If you're in a bad spot, right? And I'm the guy that's supposed to come help you, you better hope I got something like that that says I can do it. But I'm not running my mouth or boasting. It's internal, and I'm focused, and I'm intentional, and I'm exactly who I need to be when I need to beat it. And I think that's where you start getting mature.

I think that's where, you know, like the conversation of being an alpha, right? Like everybody wants to be a fucking alpha nowadays. Let me tell you something, dude. I've been around all of them. I served with with giants and alphas come in all personality traits you know right and like everyone thinks okay it's will it's the quietest guy in the room right he's like the real alpha no not necessarily there's some loud mouth dudes that love talking shit and busting balls and they're the alpha in the room. That's just their natural disposition.

Some people are naturally just more quiet, and are some of those guys hardcore? Yeah, but there's also some guys like a Conor McGregor that runs his mouth, but that's what feeds him, and until Conor made over $100 million and got distracted, Conor was the fucking guy. And you're never going to stay the guy forever, but using him as an example, that's how he fed the inner connor that got him through the challenges and dude i'm telling you

man at the highest level some guys are quiet some guys are humorous some guys are certain ways but when it comes down to the moment of when they have to perform it's not a lecture it's not a boast it's not a flip it's intentional i feel like alpha right like as men as we want to be alphas women you're included in this as well but speaking from a place of fatherhood and being being a man per se it's like i need to be exactly what i need to be when i need to be it beyond rapport without failure if that means i need to be compassionate i better be the best at it if that means i need to listen and be nurturing i better be great at it If that means I need to be compassionate, I better be the best at it. If that means I need to listen and be nurturing, I better be great at it. If that means I need to be dangerous, I hope you have no question that I better be that beyond rapport without failure.

If I need to be funny and enjoy a moment with my friends and not take things too serious. So dude, I think it's really the culmination of how well you can take every trait ego being humble every trait and then every piece of like what makes you and and what your natural disposition is and where you enjoy based off where you're at like i think it's about putting everything together and just being effective at who you need to be when you need to be it what i just heard you say was all of these traits are tools that we pull on when we need them. And I think, you know what, not to cut you off, you know what it is? If we, as we, as we grow into maturity, if we haven't developed other tools, we tend to pull the ego out a lot more. If all you got is a hammer, you're probably going to be a hammer, right? So I feel like

as we mature, we develop more tools and we just tend to put the ego away a lot more because we're more precision now. We're more developed. We've got more tools to get the job done and we don't always have to rely on this thing. Yeah. Guys, I want you to go back, rewind, listen to this quote from Will. Be who you need to be when you need to be it. And I think about this, I think about this in my own life, right? Like, I'm a speaker, I'm a podcaster, I'm a coach, you know, I do, I actually act as a fractional CMO for a company that I really enjoy in the AI space, I have these different hats. And if I were to take my coaching hat, and bring that to my keynote speaking, that performance would not be what it needs to be. And, and, you know, I, I played baseball, college baseball, actually one of my questions that I, that I had, which we can, we can talk to or not was, um, I was, I was this close

to going into the military. I came from tiny little nothing town. I had two good parents. They were divorced, but you know, we made nothing. made nothing. My dad was a mechanic on the railroad. My mom was a receptionist. So I was taught, like you described, hey, get the safe job. Go work for the big company. Get the 401K. Everything will be fine. Whatever.

And I fought that for so long. And I had an opportunity because I scored really high on a math and physics test. The Navy recruited me. They wanted me to become a nuclear engineer. And I went way down that rabbit hole to the point where I was in the final, I took a final test, which I passed, and the guy had the contract

and was sitting at my kitchen table. Again, 900 people in my town, middle of nowhere, no idea what my life was going to be. Just wanted, my only goal in life was to get the fuck out of that town like i just knew intrinsically that nothing happened there and nothing good would and here's this guy sitting across from me and he hands me this contract and he and he's like you know we want you to come uh work for the navy be part be uh go to i'm not sure if i would have

went to uh annapolis or where I would have went, but where I think that actually the nuclear program is in Texas. And he starts describing it to me and my hesitation, you know, he goes, I go, well, what does this look like? He goes, you know, he explains it for years. He goes, then you do, you'll have to do two tours on a sub. I said, what does that look like? He goes up to 12 months in a sub. Now the doors are what? Five, eight tops, right? So I'm six, four. I don't look like it on a podcast, but I was like, I wasn't super happy.

So I said, give me a chance. You know, just give me a couple of days to think about it. He said, fine. And in those two days between when I had to make a decision, I got a full scholarship to play baseball. And I chose that path because I didn't want to have to duck for the rest of my life um but my point in saying all that is you know all these experiences I think when we hit going back to the 40s thing when we hit our 40s or whatever that moment is

for us I think what we're able to finally do is look back at the previous 40 years of experience and see those decisions, not as wins or losses, but simply as lessons that we then can apply. And I don't know that we have that. Maybe some people do. There's always exceptions. But I think that for most of us, it's there's like, this switch that flips and all of a sudden it goes, you know, cause there's part of me, I'm dude, I'm, I tend, I'm conservative. I tend to be, I'm pro America. I'm a Patriot. Every, almost every charity dollar I give goes to veterans. I mean, there's a big part of me that wish I had that experience in my life. I do. I would have loved to have served my country. You know, we're the opposite, right? What? You know, we're the opposite, right? No, no. And I'm glad you're talking about looking

back at the past 40 years for, you know, for, for lessons. So for me, dude, like I was a baseball guy. I'm not six, four, I'm six foot, but I'm left-handed. And I threw the ball in 91 out of high school. I practice hard at practice. I didn't do any extra Kobe Bryant shit. I was chasing girls in high school, hanging out with my girlfriend. And, but when I was at, I was a at practice. I didn't do any extra Kobe Bryant shit. I was chasing girls in high school, hanging out with my girlfriend. But when I was a good kid, when I was at practice, I practiced hard. But I wasn't going above and beyond and neurotic about it. And I went down and played a little bit of Juco during a fall season. You remember fall ball.

You and I come from a similar era. Well, I had an opportunity to walk on with one of the organizations with the Marlins. And I had no idea what pro baseball looked like buddy and it and it was not what i thought it was and it dude i was around for five minutes and it threw me for a spin and it it just wasn't what i thought i had a buddy passed away in iraq and i took the out from baseball and i joined the marine corps yeah and it's not some heroic shit oh your buddy died so you're gonna go defend your buddy it was like no man it was I was scared I was lost I had no idea how to mentally prepare for like this professional level of baseball and when my buddy died it bothered me a little bit

but really it just it asked me well it bothered me don't get me wrong yeah but it really forced me to ask myself like what are you doing and are you even happy with what you're doing and I want to be a part of something bigger than myself. And, you know, I think all young men do. And baseball didn't feel that way. I should not have tried to go pro that quick. I should have done better with the JUCO thing and get picked up after two years of JUCO or transfer to a university and start as a junior and really develop. I didn't understand develop.

I just, dude, I just, the ego of baseball, right? Yeah. Getting there as soon as you can and no idea what that looked like. And, you know, I had a great career in the Marine Corps, right? But a lot of buddies, man, not a lot, but a couple have tried to give me outs. And they say, well, dude, that's a hard world. Like, man, I'm sure you played well, but you still could have gotten hurt. Or maybe you just don't get picked up.

And they're trying to rationalize my exit. And it's like, listen, man, don't try to heal my scab okay like i like that that's a scab and i know i left way more on the table than i should have and and i'm judging myself at 39 to 18 okay and i understand the difference of looking back i'm not you know but I know I didn't give it my all. Yeah. I know I didn't even understand what, you know, and like, and I bounced. And I like that that's a scab because brother, ever since then, I've been balls fucking deep in anything I've ever done. And I don't leave anything left on the table.

And where I learned how to do that in the first place was the Marine Corps. I learned a certain level of work ethic i learned what it meant when you when we say we want to be a part of something bigger than ourself what the fuck does that even mean because guess what it means nothing about you man i want to be a part of something bigger than myself and be a part of a team cool but if it's somehow fulfilling you individually first it's you're missing it yeah it's sacrifice it's commitment it's commitment. It's doing the right things. Doing the right thing is always the right thing. Dude, it's fucking hard.

Brotherhood is hard. Commitment's hard. Just doing hard shit when you... Dude, it's... And I learned that. And that's where I really started to understand, again, commitment, having core values, standing for something, what hard work actually looked like and i had none of that don't get me wrong i wasn't a bad baseball player i trained hard i was a good player i was good to my coaches i wasn't even 70 percent

of what i could have been putting into baseball and that's okay i just you don't know what you don't know but i'm okay like when we talk about lessons looking back when we're 40 and looking back, right? I'm okay that I know I could have gone further. I'm okay that I know it could have been really cool because it's like I need that to pick at. I need that fucking scab because that scab is what gives me the perspective on don't ever let that happen again. Yeah. Dude, I'm listening to your story and it's funny obviously we've had different journeys but i'll tell you that the this idea of of of having that scab or that scar so i i tell you from my own baseball journey right like i i got i got i got two i got offered two tryouts with the pirates

twice once my junior year once my senior year and i I missed on both. And what, and the reason I missed on both is because while I was a hell of a hitter and, you know, I was a catcher and different stuff. I had, I had all these credentials and I had stats to back me up and I could do, I still chose drinking beer and chasing women in college over getting myself in the physical shape that I knew, especially in this is, you know, and again, I'm talking to you're using these as lessons. My junior year, I get this trial with the pirates. I'm jacked out of my mind. I get there. I'm ranked in the top three hitters, which actually one of my other teammates was, was ranked ahead of me.

He was two. I was three out of all the hitters out of all the people that show up, a hundred guys show up. We're,'re we're we're two and three and hitting right uh they got me playing third great you know no problem there all good come back don't get picked up and the coach says uh you're not fast enough okay right not that's fine what I never did was fix that problem. That's an easy problem to fix. There's a million ways to get faster. And I didn't need to be the fastest, right? I was a power hitting right-handed hitter who could catch and play third.

So, like, there's no reason why. I don't have to be L.E. De La Cruz. Don't need to be him, right? I just need to be able to run a little bit faster to get down to first because there's certain marks you've got to hit. You hit a ground ball in the pros, you've got to be able to get a little bit faster to get down to first because there's certain marks you gotta hit you you hit a ground ball in in the pros you got to be able to get the first base so but i never fixed that problem i show up the next year have the same results in every category except for running the coach looks at me and says hey you know you know what that is what they were looking

at was they felt like you would hit your max capacity yeah he's as good as he's gonna get and when they see that you're at your max capacity you may know improvement it's like well if you're not improving here how are you going to handle a bigger league when it's a harder game to play so it felt like whether it was mental or physical for whatever reason if you're not showing improvement then you're at capacity so why would you go higher if the game's going to get harder but you're not getting better it's just that's math in itself and and this is and this goes back to the very beginning of this conversation. At this point in my life, I now use that as fuel for everything I do. That will not happen again.

If we get done with this podcast and afterwards you were like, dude, this part was great, this part was great, but geez, this little section here, you kind of messed that up. Here's how I tweak that. Boom. That shit never happens again, right? I took that boom that shit never happens again right i fixed that problem that never happens again and that has been how i've been able to be successful in the second half of my career was taking that not as like oh what was me i could have been you know i could have played in the pros i definitely could have played

in the minors if i got my shit together but I was 20 pounds overweight right and it is worse in college you're okay yeah but you know you know what I'm saying like I know what you mean they're like dude this is this you know I teach this a lot when I coach people don't change until it's too painful not to yeah okay like it's okay to have a relationship with your pain it's perspective it helps fuel it if you want to be a victim mentality and drown yourself and wear your high school letterman jacket and tell everybody who you used to be fine. You're using your pain differently there, right? Like, but if you learn how to use your pain and identify with it and realize that it's okay, it can be that fuel source, right? And believe it or not, it can actually be a fuel source better. They, they, I can't remember who did the study.

Some Ivy league school did this study with mice they put a mouse in a container and they like strapped something to it so when it would try to approach the exit it would be pulling it'd be pulling weight how hard can it pull so they showed at the exit they measured the pull cool then they put cheese in front of the exit it pulled a little harder cool then they put a cat behind it and it pulled the hardest. It didn't pull the hardest for the cheese. It didn't pull the hardest for the big house and the dream and the vision board. It pulled hardest away from fear.

Yeah. So having a relationship with your fear, as in my fear of like, just never wanting to not give it like, dude, I'm okay if something doesn't work out. I'm good with that. I'm not okay if I'm committed to it and I didn't give it my all because now it's like, well, did it not work out because you're not good enough or it's not your thing or because you didn't put enough effort into it. And I just don't like the unknown of that. Right? So that's, there's a fear there. There's a healthy level of perspective and fear with that. That's a harder driver than me dreaming about some fucking yacht or some fucking vision

board that not that those aren't important if they work for you great but the relationship with reality the reason why i think the mouse moves is like the reality of what that cat's about to do to it is significantly more powerful than getting a full belly worth of cheese same thing with us the relationship and reality of our pain and just not wanting to go back to something, it's a lot more tangible. It's a lot more relatable because we went through it versus some dream we've never got to that we keep writing about in our fucking gratitude journals every morning. I don't think it's as tangible as our pain. Let's spin this into business context. And you started our conversation, conversation again before we went live

you said i love talking about what actually works and i i mean dude just we've only been talking for a half hour but i i just i'm so with you there i'm so i get i get frustrated because people come to me like where i help people is between lift off and escape velocity. That's where I help entrepreneurs is when they hit, they get off the ground and they get stuck. They're in that middle zone and they don't know how to get to that place where their business really, really ramps. one of the problems that they're facing is they've read some book or they file some freaking person who just spouts all this cliche nonsense or has all these obscure ideas on how things are done and they they refuse or just aren't aware enough to your word to boil it down to the shit that actually makes progress what are those things for you? Well, dude, I'll tell you what, that's the cheese. So people think so. Like, for example, dude, like when I started real estate,

I don't military don't police work. I helped a buddy with a fitness startup. We grew 14 stores in two years, franchises and crush, right? Awesome. I get into entrepreneurship and like, I was making good money at this fitness company, but I wasn't good with money. I had two stupid cars. I was spending every dime. So when I left that company, I went broke quick, got rid of my apartment. I had to sell two cars off and I'm sleeping in my buddy's mom's pantry, the fucking Y2K pantry. You remember Y2K, the original pandemic, right?

I'm like buying toilet paper and castle. Dude, by the way, if you're an emotional eater, don't sleep in a pantry, okay? That's just me, right? I'm like eating fucking 20-year-old Fig Newtons at night. But, you know, I'm sitting there and like I'm driving Lyft at night. If you guys go back to my Instagram and scroll to the bottom, you'll see me driving Lyft at night to make a buck while I'm studying for my real estate license during the day. And I'm grinding and I'm motivated and I'm good there, right? Cool. during the day and I'm grinding and I'm motivated and I'm good there right cool a couple years later

I'm you know I'm making over seven figures two and a half years later and my buddies uh it's right around like Thanksgiving my buddy he's in Mexico with his family for a couple days still working doing his thing I was waking up I was getting my my mandatory work done cool and then halfway through the day I'd catch myself I had this huge beanbag in my living room, right? This little house we were renting and I'm making significantly more money than my bills require now. Okay. And I'm sitting on the, I'm laying on this beanbag watching EXPN. Cool. Second day happens while my, but same thing. Third day, I go to sit down, I turn it on. I'm like, I'm comfortable. I'm good enough. I fucking felt it.

That's more dangerous than the pantry, dude. Right? Like, it's not the start where, like, I'm fucking broke, I'll do whatever it takes. I've been here before. I've worked hard before. Like, let me just put a ton of effort and attention behind this. That's the romantic story. That's the romantic story. That's the romantic story.

That's the one I talk about on stage. That's what people like to hear. The reality is, beat my fucking dick off halfway through the day watching ESPN on a beanbag because my bills and my financial situation no longer required all of me. We're renting this home for 2,500 bucks a month.

I got a truck for 500 a month. And dude, dude, we're making over seven figures. And I go, and I understood like, I'm not stimulated. I'm good enough. I'm bored. I'm comfortable. Right? Like dude, within, within three months, we were in a $3 million home and it's not for the material of a $3 million home. It was understanding. I need a certain amount of acquired and mandatories because that's the fuel. That's what, like, hey, Will, what do you do when you get up in the morning and you don't want to? Well, I got kids and shit to pay for, man. That's a gas line for me. Right?

I don't have a morning I don't want to get up. I don't have a morning I don't want to get up. I don't have a morning I do want to get up. I don't have either conversation. Every morning, dude, I'm just getting up and I'm't have a morning. I don't want to get up. I don't have a morning. I do want to get up. I don't have either conversation every morning. I'm dude, I'm just getting up and I'm getting after my day, but there is something about my ambition for business and serving and helping people. And I like to live a nice life and I like the things that I have, but it's not, and you don't, dude, you don't see me posting a lot. Like you don't see me posting my Lamborghini or the big, like you don't see a lot of that stuff on my social. I'll show it if I happen to be in my car and cool and people like seeing it,

but I'm not boasting about it because I don't, I'm not using it for the accolade of social. I have those things because I'm a car guy or I'm a house guy and I enjoy what I have, but I also understand it's this fucking gas line that keeps me straight with myself, dude. And that probably goes back to the whole Marine Corps thing, man. Like if I don't have a mission, I'm digging holes in the backyard and jumping the fence and doing weird shit with the neighbor's dog. Right? Like I don't need that much. I need a mission. I need like, dude, I'm service. I need to serve. I need a mission,

but I also enjoy my stuff and I just realize how that stuff also serves like a gas line. Right? So dude, realizing that stuff also serves like a gas line, right? So, dude, realizing that in myself, like when you're coaching these guys that are, hey, they're off the ground now and they can't get to that next level, a lot of times it's not resource, it's not how to, it's you're good enough. And my buddy Ben Newman talks about it. Ben Newman's a great coach and he's been the mindset coach for Alabama football for a long time. He just parted ways with them. But he talks about how do you respond after a win? And a lot of times he talks about that with his athletes when they're in their third year in the NFL. And you got your little teeny tiny rookie contract. You go crushing the

league for three years and you're the man now. You're Mahomes. And now you're making 100 million. How do you respond after that contract? How do you respond after that win? How do you respond after you're off the ground and now you have this intermediate, high beginner, intermediate level of success? And you're making a couple hundred grand as an entrepreneur or you're making a big check as an athlete. Where you respond there, that's where you're going to figure out, do I really want to do this and take it to the next level? And I better figure out like do i really want to do this and take it to the next level and i better figure out why and brother i have a why but i also have a lot of really nice shit that needs to get taken care of and it feeds me both from an ambition standpoint and from a practical reality standpoint and for me dude i i need both do you think so if i'm listening to this and i hear you, I'm like, shit, this dude's got drive coming out his ass. Is that, is that

intrinsic or can it be learned? If I'm sitting here saying, man, I just, man, I just don't have Will's fire. I'm just, I'm a different kind of guy than Will. Yeah. But I want that. Is that something that I can learn? Can I, is it a discipline or is that just intrinsic into a person? It's learned, but you have to create discipline with it. Right? Like I think learning something and discipline, they're not two in the same, but one goes with the other. You have to apply discipline to actually learn something at a high level of really creating like different habits. But for the sake of a podcast and having people for a couple minutes, here's what I would say.

Change your expectation of what shit should feel like. When I'm talking about my morning and like getting up, like, well, Will, what if you don't want to get up? I don't allow my emotions to have majority vote in making a decision. I haven't wanted to go to the gym for probably a year. Dude, we got so much stuff going on in business and it's fun and it's dynamic and we're playing chestnut checkers now and there's so many conversations or hopping on podcasts and building my brand like i'm doing with you the last thing i want to do is fucking squats bro but the fact that i don't want

to do it has zero to do with whether i'm actually going to do it or not and then when i'm at the gym i don't have this expectation that i'm supposed to feel like Rocky in the movie. And I'm just like the endorphins and the sweat and the fucking chicks checking me out. Like I don't have this expectation that that's what it's supposed to feel like. It's going to feel like whatever the fuck it feels like that day. And I have a lot more better days and not so good days. But it doesn't matter if I'm in the gym and I feel like shit. I just I don't have an expectation of what it should feel like.

I have an expectation that it's getting done. So when you change your mindset of what things should feel like, it actually makes it easier to do. Like when you watch all these Nike commercials of runners in the rain, and it looks amazing, so then you go run. And it starts raining, and you're like, wait, I'm heavy because my clothes are soaked, and I'm in sweats, so now I'm heavier. I'm slushing around.

I can feel my heavy fucking feet hit the ground. I can hear and feel my heartbeat because I'm a shitty runner. Brother, it feels nothing like a Nike commercial. But if you put that expectation in there, then when you're not feeling a certain way, you must be doing it wrong or shouldn't be doing it all. Cause dude, I'm just on a runner. I'm just on a runner. I'm a big guy. I'm just on a runner. That's what happens. If you, if you eliminate expectation of what it should feel like and just let it feel how it feels and knowing that as you continue, it gets better. But even though it's getting better, who cares?

And I'm just right in the middle, dude. Like when you eliminate the expectation of that, believe it or not, it makes it easier to go do the run. Yeah. Cause you're like, yeah, it's going to suck. Or maybe it's not going to suck. It's like, it doesn't, it doesn't matter. You're just thinking about,

you're thinking more about the trail or the run or the time that you're gonna do you're not thinking about the emotional tank you're trying to fill so i coach uh my i have two kids 10 10 and 8 they both play baseball uh and my older son is like loves it he's he's all the way in the younger one we'll see he likes football more which is fine because i played football in high school too and frankly i would have played college football first but i got three concussions my senior season and my doctor was like yeah your career is over so that that uh unfortunately happened but um but my older son the other day um he wanted to hit so we went down to the fields and i'm throwing him balls and he just was off. He was, you know, I just wasn't hitting well, you know what I mean? And we're working on it, whatever.

But in general, I think it was below what he wanted. And I could tell he was upset. And I looked at him and I said, bro, the win is not that you're smoking balls all over the field. We're fucking here. Like the win is that we're here. How many other kids? I go, look, there's seven fields.

There's one other father, son, way over there too. We're one of two here right now, getting it working, getting working. Everybody else is playing Fortnite or doing something else. The win was that we came here and you got swings in, not that you, you loved every swing that you took. That's not the victory. And that mentality changed. I picked up that mentality wherever I picked it up.

I don't know, somewhere five, ten years ago. I didn't always have this mentality. But that was one of the true course corrections in the success that I've had in my own life has been the idea that, that like I cold plunge. So I, I built, I, I, I had a similar situation where, uh, uh, about six months ago, I just, I've been, I've been a seven day of work, physical activity guy, not always at the gym, but physical activity guys, seven days, I just need it for my mental always. And then I just hit this moment comfortable. As you said, I started to feel comfortable, was in great shape. And I just stopped wanting to go to the gym. And I started making excuses, work this podcast here, this

client, whatever. And I stopped going. And for two months, I was like, maybe once a week. And I started to hate the way I felt. So I said, fuck it. I went, built a gym in my garage, bought a steam room, bought, you know, I always had the cold plunge and now i get up in the morning and i'm doing something every day physical sometimes i'll just do 200 pull-ups who you know whatever and then i hit a steam and i get in that cold plunge and i have friends that are like why do you get in it he's like you know do you love the cold punch i'm like no i don't love the fucking cold have you ever been in a cold plunge it's terrible every time no matter how many times you go in you know i know you know for seller i don't know the fucking cold. Have you ever been in a cold plunge? It's terrible. Every time, no matter how many times you go in, you know, I know, you know, for Sella, I don't know him

personally, but I listen to show. He talks about all the time. Look, there's a sauna. Yep. See the sauna. See the cold plunge. Yep. There you go. Yeah. Guys, guys, for you, yeah. For you listening in audio, we just got to look at, uh, I love that steam room. I that's, that's uh next the next level for me but um mine's uh mine's like a corner unit whatever doesn't matter it works and but my buddies are always like talking about this cold punch like fascinates them that i do this and andy does it now as well you were just mentioning any for sale and he says it all the time he's like we've been on his podcast before and yeah i listened that episode i listened to when it first came out. It's fucking awesome. Yeah, I, I, and he says it, he's like, I don't want to do it. The reason I do it is because if I wake up and do it every day, then I know I can then do all the other things that I

don't want to do during the day. And that's what it is. It's, it's, that's the way to use it. Some people, they have this morning routine for the sake of a morning routine and all they are is routines. Yeah. Yeah. It's not, and I don't get it. Like for me, I know like as much as I do this stuff, the sooner I can close the gap between waking up and at the gym, the better my day is going to be. If I start making fucking calls or taking a call or something, it's like, then I start getting into that conversation. And then the pre-workout that's in my body starts fading and it's not good. And I know me and I still make that mistake sometimes. But for me, it's like point A to point B before I get to C and D and E and F point A getting up to get into the gym.

Like that's, that's a measure of my day, dude, and I gotta have it, and that's what I mean about, like, finding what actually works for you, my business partner sold his cold plunge, he's in great shape, he shredded, he's like, dude, it was fucking with him, he was, like, doing it too much, and if he didn't do it, was he feeling bad, and it's like, dude, if it doesn't serve you, it'd be okay to say that, say that me from my past and how neurotic i get dude that thing was as cold as it got now i was in there i think for 22 minutes i started just going here dude i started going like yeah oh i bet i could just i bet i could just warm this water up i'll be in here so long right and it's like hey bro not fucking healthy

like don't like it's three minutes and get the fuck out of like, but it was like, yeah, like I'm just going dark with it. Cause I'm testing myself for the sake of something. And it's not necessarily healthy. So it's like, cool. So back off of that. And just, but again, we're getting into the whole self-awareness thing of the maturity, right? I'm like, something can serve you. Just make sure you don't abuse it. Or it, if it stops serving you identify that. And if, and if you try something and it never serves you, it's okay to not be in the cool club and not have a cold punch. Who gives a fuck? But find what does work for you.

It's not about whether you do the thing. It's about what is your thing. And you can say with integrity that it actually does help you, right? Dude, couldn't agree with you more. This goes all the way back to to the gnf philosophy your thing could be cold plunges and that's amazing the lesson is not cold plunges the lesson is find the thing that to me it's so people i'll get pushed back hey i can't work out in the morning my kids my skin i get that do something hard as soon as you possibly can that could be the really

tough text message you have to send to a family member the food calls you don't want to do it yeah the cold calls the call to a customer who's upset the tough conversation with an employee where we where we this up is when we just let it drag and we give it space and all it does is feed no matter how mentally tough you are the, the more space you put between that hard thing you need to do. And, and, and when you wake up in the morning, just your body gets tense, anxious, and you never perform as well. Bro, this, I can talk to you for a freaking, I could talk to you for two more hours. This is amazing. I want, I i would love before we

go i'd love just just like someone's listening here you've said some amazing things some quotes i've written down we're gonna we're gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna push these out i'll give you credit these are awesome i freaking love them i wrote down uh who you need to be when you need to be it change your expectation with how things feel I freaking love that like when what is what is one core idea that you haven't shared that you think is necessary for people to wrap their mind around to get shit done I'm curious I'm curious man like all of my friends are not all of them but a lot of them are eight and ten years older than me and clearly right like as I Like, as I'm talking to you about being 40, we talked about it prior to the podcast. I'm talking with my buddies when they turned 40 and how they compartmentalize it and

what was different about it. What was not different about it? Not to overthink the number. We're still super young, but the point is like, how am I going to get shit done in my forties is really like, well, the better I can become with myself, the more effective I'm going to be. So I'm curious amongst other successful guys, what's working for them. So I can then create my formula and I can become with myself, the more effective I'm going to be. So I'm curious amongst other successful guys, what's working for them so I can then create my formula and I can try things. And maybe it'll work, maybe it won't work. But the point is like, you know, what's that word, kaizen? I think it's Japanese.

It's just ever evolving, man. Yeah. Ever evolving and having the self-awareness of it doesn't work. Cool if it does, great, implement it. But just constantly seeking improvement. And I don't mean like becoming stressed about it. I don't mean, you know, like killing, implement it, but just constantly seeking improvement. And I don't, I don't mean like becoming stressed about it. I don't mean, you know, like killing yourself over it, but just understanding that, you know, constant improvement and dedication and commitment to self and to self growth

ultimately is what indirectly affects everything, man. But I like the word curious versus grind or fucking hustle or whatever romantic shit's out there. It's like, cause you don't have like, I don't want to attach a certain emotion or tempo to something. Everyone's different. The word curious is great. Cause you can be curious at your own pace

and what that looks like and how you make that effective for yourself. But ultimately it does, man. It boils down to just, just being curious about your evolving, about how you evolve. Will Grimes, where do we get more of you? Will underscore Grimes on Instagram, man

Throw me a DM, I dare ya Throw me a follow, throw me a DM So I'll actually see the DM And if you have questions for me Or if you need something from me I respond, I run my own account I will respond to you Appreciate you, bro

You're a friend of the show Anytime you want to come back Anything the audience can do We're here for you, man Wishing you nothing but the best 100% Dude, we'd love to have you on ours On day $1.00 as well.

I'm sure you and I will connect on Instagram after this show. Let's connect and see if we can't get it figured out. Love it. Let's go. Yeah, make it look, make it look, make it look easy. Thank you for listening to The Ryan Hanley Show. Be sure to subscribe and leave us a comment or review wherever you listen to podcasts.

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