The Ryan Hanley Show - From $2 Million Dollar Loss to World-Class Entrepreneur | Jeremy Delk

Episode Date: August 26, 2024

Became a Master of the Close: https://masteroftheclose.comHow could losing $2 million in just four days be the catalyst to massive success?! Join 10,000+ subscribers: https://linktr.ee/ryan_hanleyConnect with Jeremy Delk:Website: https://jeremydelk.com/Book: https://amzn.to/3MecvFFInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremysdelk/Join us as we delve into the fascinating journey of Jeremy Delk, founder of Delk Ventures. Jeremy shares his unique perspective on failure, recounting his own catastrophic financial loss and the invaluable lessons he gained from it. We discuss how societal judgment often shapes our fear of failure and why reframing this fear can unlock new heights in personal and professional growth.Navigating the entrepreneurial landscape requires resilience, and Jeremy's experiences offer powerful insights into handling setbacks. From bouncing back after financial disasters to balancing the demanding life of an entrepreneur with family responsibilities, Jeremy provides candid advice on embracing flexibility and creativity. We tackle the myth of entrepreneurial freedom, highlighting the continuous commitment it demands and how past challenges can be a reservoir of strength for future endeavors.Authenticity and vulnerability in business are more than buzzwords; they’re essential for building trust and fostering innovation. Jeremy’s 'Give No Fucks' philosophy emphasizes the importance of honesty in leadership and team dynamics. By embracing our weaknesses and fostering open communication, leaders can create a culture where transparency and efficiency thrive. Listen in as we explore how empowering team members and investing in family bonds can lead to both personal fulfillment and scalable business growth.

Probably starts at a young age, this negative connotation around failure. Failure is where you really, that's where the learning begins. But no one really cares about you. They all care about themselves, and that's, we're consumed with ourselves. So the quicker you can kind of get over that, I think, the better. Let's go. Yeah, make it look, make it look, make it look easy. The Ryan Hanley Show shares the original ideas, habits, and mindsets of world-class original thinkers

you can use to produce extraordinary results in your life and business. This is the way. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the show. We have a tremendous conversation for you today with serial entrepreneur Jeremy Delk, founder of Delk Ventures, where we discuss failure, specifically how to come back from failure. We dissect what failure means, how we emotionally rationalize the excuses that we make when we do fail. And ultimately, we dissect and build off of Jeremy's largest failure, which was losing $2 million in a four-day period as a day trader. Jeremy's an incredible guy. This

is packed with entrepreneurial insights, leadership, growth, sales, mindset. This is the kind of episode I love delivering to you guys. If this is your first time here, whether you're listening on Apple, Spotify, wherever, or watching on YouTube, please hit the subscribe button. That way you don't miss future episodes of the show. If you have a thought, a comment, an idea that you want to share,

leave them in the review section of Apple, Spotify, or jump into the comments on YouTube. And I always try to draw back the guests back into that conversation to get your question answered directly. Guys, I love you for listening to this show. Let's get on to Jeremy Delk. Jeremy, a big part of your story is coming back from failure. And a topic that you touch on a lot in your new book, uh, without a plan is, is that particular thing? So how do we fail? Yeah. I mean, I think it's the big part of the book that I wanted to, to really focus on, um, as opposed to just having opinions is just to show like real life examples

and i think we have so many of us and it probably starts at a young age this negative connotation around failure right you know how'd you do in school you're graded and just like it's failure such a bad thing and i think it's the absolute opposite opposite right i think failure um is where you really that's where the learning begins and i try to really encourage failure taking those chances and kind of going through it you can't fail and do the same thing over and over that's a definition of insanity right but not be defined because we get wrapped up so much emotionally like oh what happens if i fail right it's a sphere of failure and and usually it's what other people are going to think. And I talk about that all the time.

No one cares about you. Maybe your mom, but no one really cares about you. They all care about themselves. And we're consumed with ourselves. So the quicker you can kind of get over that, I think, the better. But yeah, I try, not only try to fail, but I set these paths out to go and see, you know, take a chance, go through and evaluate and not get hung up with the actual outcome until it gets to where I want to be. I want to pitch something to you and have you respond. So I have struggled with this ideal failure for a long time.

And where I've come to it is I don't actually believe failure exists. I don't think it's a real thing. It's a construct. It's a, it's a, it's a name we give to something. I think what we're actually scared of is not failure. I'm scared of what Jeremy would think of me if this thing doesn't work out. So the way I've started positioning it is that we're afraid of our status changing in a group, whether it's a community locally or on a national stage or in our company. Where does that sit for you? That idea? No, a hundred percent. I mean, it's kind of the core of it just first to expand on what you're saying that you don't believe failure exists. I would and I said this on probably 100 podcasts and on stage.

You know, I don't really believe there's anything that's a good thing or a bad thing that happens to us. It's the actions, reactions, the emotions that we put towards this thing that determines whether it was a good or thing. Right. Good or bad thing. So me losing $2 million in a few days when I was 20 years old, day trading, in the moment, absolute catastrophic, worst thing, biggest failure, suck at life, I shouldn't be here anymore. Retrospectively, in 20 years, probably one of three of the best things that ever happened to me. So you get context with time and evaluation.

So that's number one. But two, yeah, when I say no one really cares about you other than your mother, I think that's it. We get so hung up on it. And I've had big decisions, and you think about it. And yet people want an escape, right? So there's always something that's trending and kind of going through it, but they want a distraction from themselves.

So they may engage, and, like, you may be the talk of the town for a day, a week, but after that, it's kind of over. So the quicker you kind of look in and say, well, what am I scared of? A failure, right? And if it's failure, hey, if I bet my house on it and now my kids are homeless, that's a real fear and that's something that's real. But if it's because of what they may say about you that's the piece and i think unfortunately most people aren't comfortable enough in their own skin and they they put so much value in that and the reality is you know the opinions that you get from other people that'll never work i mean it's that's their they're saying that about themselves not not you just happens to

be about you but that's how they actually feel and internalize it. So it, it gets easier with time when she proven it to yourself a couple of times, you've taken some steps and Hey, it was scary, but I pulled it off. But yeah, I agree with that construct completely. I love that. There's no such thing as good or bad. I think that is a wonderful construct to hold in your head, a wonderful framework or mindset because it gives you power. If there's no good or bad, it's basically wins and lessons.

It's an event. All it is is an event. Yeah, and you can reframe that event in any way. I had a woman, Deanne DeMeo is her name. She's an artist. She's a jazz musician, and I had her on the Deanne DeMeo is her name. She's an artist. She's a jazz musician. And I had her on the show a few weeks ago. And three years ago, she lost her 23-year-old son, passed away.

Fucking awful. I mean, literally, I started to come to tears as she's telling the story. And she said for the first year, she could barely move. And then all of a sudden, her producer started bringing her back into the studio a little bit. And now three years later, she has this wonderful album that's getting national play on all these radio stations, more than she's ever gotten before, because she was able to take this horrifying, awful thing that, God, you just don't even wish on your worst enemy. And she was able to start to reframe it as I'm going to keep living for my son, for his memory. And I'm going to do the work that I told him I was going to do. And now she's, you know, she even said she's more

energized than she's ever been before. So like you could sit and wallow in that moment, which, which is awful. And no one, no one would question you, right? Hey, you lost a child. There really isn't a worse thing. And instead, she was able to reframe that and turn it into passion and positivity that has amplified her career and her soulfulness to a level that she didn't even know was possible. And I think this, these types of conversations with people like you, who've, who've been through these failures, like, like Deanne, it, I hope what it shows people is that it's simply just what's going on between our ears. And if we can spend a little bit of time and re and reframe these things, man, sky's the limit on the other side of something. It is. And one thing I try to give an example that anyone can apply to it.

Like that's devastating. Like that's, I agree. There's probably not an event that could happen that would be more catastrophic. But, you know, we have all, give me a point at a crowd, any one of the million people, everyone just points around a person. We've all experienced trauma, loss, and these things. And we've all probably said to ourselves, like, you know, this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. Everyone has those two or three things that this is the

worst thing that's ever happened to me. Humans innately are pretty advanced species, right? And we all, you know, always have the self-protective properties that go there. So and I don't believe in looking at the past and dwelling in the past, but we really, you know, China and tune out most these big traumatic events and just don't ever think about them again. I think there's a massive amount of power. I don't think I know there's a massive amount of power in looking back at that, not dwelling on the event, but the fact that, you know, you're here now listening to your podcast. I lost my job yesterday or whatever the thing is, and it's worse. But now I've gotten through it, whatever it is. They took my house or whatever, whatever the thing that happened to you or your family, you're still alive and you've gotten through it. So as opposed to blocking that out, go back. Cause when I, when I, you know, lost all that money and when I, when I made the decision

to go out and start Delk Enterprises 20 years ago, I was making more than my, I was on wall street, very successful. And I went out and made six grand my first year in business. I would never would have had the balls to do it. But you know what? I looked back and said, well, I lost two million bucks in four days trading and I got back. So what's the worst? Can it be worse than that? And I think that was the most powerful thing

that literally gave me the courage to go and do it because like, fuck, it can't be any worse than that and I'm still here breathing. So kind of going through it. So I don't think people should look back and dwell on things, but we've all had those events that are obviously much less catastrophic than losing a child, but we've all had that. We've lost a parent, we've lost saying a job, whatever it is. And we're very resilient as a species. And I think if you can go back and look at those pieces, that gives you courage within yourself to say, you know what i can do this and i can take that and that's worth taking it because i would argue that the fear of failure is it's debilitating to

so many people and i always ask or ask this question when i hear the response like well you know what if i do this and these things happen? I always, you know, rebuttable. What if you don't do it? Right. Um, and, and what if, but if you, if you did do it and these things happened, right, what's the, what's that opportunity cost and kind of look at it from that perspective. I love that you use the word resilient. Cause one of the things that I talk a lot about with, um, the entrepreneurs that I coach is building resiliency into their business, right? You can take as many risks as you want as long as you have an understanding of the resilient points in your business. And one of the first things that I started to realize when I started doing this work

was most people do not give themselves enough credit for how resilient they actually are. They think, well, I'm not strong enough or I don't have enough this or whatever, whatever they think their limitation is. But when you put like, let's just let's think through some things. Are you tired of endless follow-ups and missed opportunities in your sales process? Chasing leads is a losing game. That's why I created the One Call Close System, a battle-tested sales system that uses behavioral psychology to close deals in just one call. No more. Let me think about it. No more. I'll get back to you. Using the one call close system, we took new reps from 25% close ratio to over 80% in just three months. To grow fast,

you must close deals faster at zero extra marketing cost. The one call close system allows you and your reps to build trust, address pain points, all while watching your revenue skyrocket. Ready to stop chasing leads and start closing? Visit masteroftheclose.com today. Close twice as many deals this time next week. Visit masteroftheclose.com to learn how. Like you got through that? Like, wow, that's incredible. And they're like, and you like, sometimes you see them. They're like, they've never even gone back in their mind and processed how resilient they actually are. It's, it's crazy. Yeah.

So I, uh, I think in one of the questions I wanted to dive in with you came out of a previous interview I had and some feedback I got from that, which was, I had, had an entrepreneur on and who was talking a lot about the business and what they had done. And it was all incredible stuff. And I got a comment. It was actually a DM, so no one can find it. But the person said, you know, that's all great advice, except that person doesn't have kids. They don't know what it's like to get a phone call in the middle of a business meeting that their kids puking all over the classroom or the, you know, something happened with the buses and you got to end your day at three o'clock because they need to be picked up.

Like you have kids yet you're highly successful as an entrepreneur. What do you think some of the things are? And maybe talk to the entrepreneurs with parents out there a little bit. Like what are those differences that you see the primary differences in? And how are you successful? I don't want to say despite because that kind of make puts kids in a negative light. But when you're operating with children, it is just a different world. There are just certain realities to your responsibility. How are you able to navigate that world? Because I think a lot of people say, well, geez, I'm in my late 30s or my early 40s. I got kids who are still not, you know, completely self-sufficient at this point. Like,

I don't know if I can be an entrepreneur at this point. I don't know if I can make that jump. What do you say to those individuals? Yeah. I mean, it adds a massively dynamic layer, um, that definitely complicates things or creates opportunity, right? I mean, one of the reasons, but first off, I don't, I think you don't choose to become an entrepreneur like you are one or you're not you've just chosen to take the stamp and be one right but i think innately you're you're you're built and bred to to to be one of these because it's a masochistic kind of yeah i don't know why we do it's horrible we love it but for me one of the early drivers before i even knew what, you know, having kids were like, and I'm like, I've got a six month old. I just like, look at here.

I've got like, so the struggle is real guys. Yeah. The struggle is real. For those on audio who are just listening on audio, he's got the classic baby drill strains on his shoulders. He's teething really bad. So I just got a black shirt. Not a good choice to do but um one of the reasons again this is before kids i don't like i i wanted to be an entrepreneur because i thought

what it would be like and one of those freedoms were like oh i want to be an entrepreneur so i can make my own hours and work when i want to um obviously that's bullshit because like you work when you have like you just always work when i always work and it never stops, but having that flexibility is massive, but then you just get creative on when you go. And I think the positivity of being an entrepreneur with kids far outweighs. Yeah. Of course you, you gotta be flexible. You gotta move things around, but what it's, what I've allowed my kids to be able to see. And like, just from a work ethic standpoint, right? Like, you know, my, my, my son, I talk about initiative and things like that. And I'm putting my kids to be able to see and like just from a work ethic standpoint right like you know my my son I talk about initiative and things like that when I'm putting my son to bed he sees me carrying my laptop to bed because I will work like hang out with my wife and then

she goes to sleep and then like my best work I've solved the world's problems between 11 and 4 a.m I'm just crushed life right I go through there and like there's no there's no interruptions right it's very quiet but from a lesson for my son is you know who's daddy's boss he doesn't have a boss well why who's making him go and take his laptop to go no one's making me but that's the drive and the ambition and that that that um you know mindset that you can kind of teach by example at a very very young age but again entrepreneurship positively gives you so much more flexibility. Like we're leaving here tomorrow morning and going to our lake house for the long weekend. I've got a podcast tomorrow that I'll do from the lake and then we'll go down and

I'll take my kids, you know, wake surfing and tubing and all that. So it gives you a massive, massively much more flexibility. But yeah, you have these other, uh, that interruptions, but it's just life and your life changes too. I talked to so many of these young entrepreneurs who are on social media and they're just, I mean, their expectation of like, I'm an overnight success, 22 years in the making, right? They just have this false sense of what it is, but it's okay. Like, and I don't try to change them because my goals met 22 and 25 are way different than 25 to 30. And now I'm 43. So it's okay.

You learn and kind of go through. But people have to go through their own journeys with it. Yeah. So I just exited from a company in November of last year. This is just almost a year now. But in our hiring process, when we got to 20-ish people, actually way before that, I removed myself

because I found I'm terrible at hiring only because all I do is pitch the company the whole time. I'm like awful at that. I'm just like, this place is amazing. Here's all the reasons why you should want to work here. And then my team was like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Why don't we step in? But they were like asking me for guidelines. And this thing came out of me that I had never verbalized before. And I don't even know where it came from, but it was like, I want people that walk with a limp. And they were like, what do you mean? And I said, like, we, we want to find people. They don't have to be, they don't have to be, I'm not talking about age. I'm saying that have like been through some stuff that have like experienced something because that first, when you first get into the game, whether it's corporate world, uh, or, or you're an entrepreneur, right. It's all pie in the sky. It's all, you know,

everything's going to be great. You know, here's all the, you don't want to make all this money and all that is wonderful, but it's not until like your experience right you're day trading you're making shit tons of money life's great and then all of a sudden wham right and now before that experience there were probably all these holes in your game right then you have that experience and you get to reflect on it and it was awful right but a lot of those with those experiences with those those, those, what, you know, maybe failures is probably how the normal, normal culture, but lessons is probably how we better positioned, you start to fill in those holes and start to be able to see around corners that others can't. So it's almost surrounding yourself, even if you're early in the game,

regard, again, regardless of age with people who, you know, I like to walk with a limp, man, that, that mentorship piece is huge. Was there a person like that in your life? Is there a person, is there someone who, who, you know, do you have a, an inner circle? Like how do you stay grounded? How do you stay connected to others who, who push in the same direction that you're pushing in? Yeah. So a lot of stuff there, one, I mean, from an investment thesis, I won't invest in a founder that hasn't been through a cycle. It doesn't mean you have to be a boss, but the, everything's great until it's not, but true leaders, true people that can kind of get through it. It's how they react and how they manage through crisis. I think the whole idea of you get paid equal to the amount of pain you can take and how big the problem you can solve.

That's it. If you can solve a really big problem and handle a lot of stress and pain, you're going to probably do pretty well. So I never had mentors per se in again a coaching component and i do some coaching now too um i was always more just i love to try to consume um content so you know i've got you know dan kennedy there's a ton of mentors that i've had via just reading content yeah yeah books and that type of thing so that's been it for for me. And I enjoy the learning piece. That's why I've invested in so many, you know, industries. It's a, I think I can make an impact. And there

was a, there was a play there, but largely it was, um, I was curious and I, and I use and let that curiosity, um, drive the interest in that learning, uh, that learning piece. I would love for you to dig in a little more into this, like having gone through a cycle. When you meet someone and you're evaluating them for an investment, let's take that framework, and you're starting to talk with them and learn more about them, what are some of the characteristics that you're looking for? What are some of the pieces to their personality or the way they work or the way they present themselves that are indicators to you? And not that I am advocating that people present themselves in these ways if they don't actually have this, but what are some of the things that

you see pop out that you go, ooh, this is someone who will sustain. This is someone who will push through when things get bad or can make the hard decision when it needs to be made. How do you, what are some of the filters that you use? Well, it's a pretty simple framework. The first comes to their implied or actual vulnerability and authenticity of what their story is. I think I can sell anything to anybody. I'm a pretty good sales guy. But I also will tell you where the landmines are because I don't know.

So the first thing that will just kill any deal is someone comes into me and they have all the answers. They're either just lying or they're just naive enough to know. Right. And that's, that's, that's one in that they will learn, but it just won't be with me. So they're going to go have out and get some, you know, get some marks on them and come back. And then now they've kind of went through it. Um, secondly, like you mentioned how you are, I'm probably like that as well. Like I'm, I'm a glass half full. Um, I'm, I'm just very positive, can figure out a way how to do it, but that's not the best for hiring because you're basically you. And I guess you would have gotten this feedback that everyone that you interview, you bring the best out of

them because of your energy, you're going that and you're, you're the best out of them. And that's absolutely what you want one, but but two you want someone different than you because if they have a bunch of yous like i'm yeah you're you're a leader you're an entrepreneur like i don't know details i don't give a fuck about the details bro like i wrote a book about without a plan and that's how i live for 20 years i don't think you have to get so you know drawn up because it never works that way like i built you know two and five hundred company i I've done a lot of stuff. None of it has worked out how we thought it would be. We've had an idea of where we wanted to go, but I'm a big preacher of just, just getting started and taking that step because you're going to know so much more

by Q4 or, you know, Q1 the next year than you are right now. So why try to predict the future, get an idea and then stop and go. And I think over planning sometimes is a negative because when you get to that decision making, that fork in the road, you're pre kind of destined to say, oh, well, this is what we said we're going to do. So we'll stick to it.

So that's how I can figure out a cycle and they're being authentic. But the other piece is just kind of saying like, this is where I'm not good at. I would rather know that from an investor, like, or this is what scares me, right? So many people, and I'm talking more on this investment pitch piece, but so many people want to de-risk it for an investor because that's what they think an investor wants to hear. If you have it already figured out and you have all the answers, I fucking can't help you. Go get money from someone else.

Like, Delk Enterprises, the subline is strategic capital i solve problems with resources sometimes they're financial a lot of times they're financial a lot of time it's using my digital marketing team or my legal or you know whoever it is and that's the best way and that's where i talk about vulnerability and authenticity going into a job interview going into an investor pitch, telling them your fears is so telling and it just connects. It doesn't mean I'm going to invest in you, but now I believe you because you're telling me, like, what keeps you up at night? Nothing. Everything's great. You're fucking lying or naive and you don't understand it.

But, hey, what keeps me up at night is, like, I built this thing, you know, jumped off a cliff and built the wings for the plane while we're kind of going down. And I've got traction, but now I need infrastructure behind it. Okay, I'm not good at that. I'm a good leader here at Vision, but I can't put this up. Okay, that's a problem that either I or someone can solve. And you've shown a massive amount of vulnerability and authenticity to admit and understand there's value in understanding what you're good at and not good at right i know numbers innately and i can just see balance you but i will never do books right but i can look at financials and understand

what they mean so that's the piece where um i i talked so much about just being authentic and being vulnerable it just gets you to where you need to be helped because that's what you're going to you're going to invest or you're going to job. You want to be part of an organization. Let's, let's leave the investment. You want to be part of an organization, talk to them about like, Hey, these are my strengths and what I want to be able to help it. I think I can add value here, but I love this organization because, you know, I think it can help me overcome these things. Right. So that just, you build more of a relationship because, you know, business is very personal. And I think sometimes people try to separate that too much.

Guys, if you're not taking notes, this is where you hit the pause button and you slide your finger back about three or four minutes and listen to that section again. Because if you are looking specifically to raise money, but also if you're just looking to find talent or bring in someone into your organization, I can say this works just as well for trying to find a strategic hire. If you're, if you're looking for an, uh, an a-class player and you come in and you just tell that person all the amazing things that are going on, they are going to know that you're full of shit, right? Like that person wants to know what am I getting myself into and a lot of times an eight class player is completely okay with you and expects you to have holes they expect you to

have holes that's why you're reaching out to them but if you bring them in and you're like we're gonna kill it and our you know mrr is gonna be this and blah blah blah and they're gonna go i don't know and and it's funny i so i i did a a bunch of um or have and do uh a bunch of angel investing i love getting in early in companies and helping in the same way. I don't have a venture company and nor probably will I ever, but I do enjoy that piece. And I have a group of friends who bring, we all bring each other in on deals. And we came in on this deal and we're listening to these guys and it was a good idea and they were full of energy and seemed very smart, except they spent at least half of their 20-minute pitch talking about all these made-up numbers.

I mean it's just – it's Excel gobbledygook. You know what I mean? I'm like I can put whatever conversion rate into your chart just like you can. I can put whatever market share piece you think you're going to get into this chart and make these numbers come out the back end. Like, this is just an Excel sheet. Like how many things have you sold? What things are breaking? What, you know, where's your actual retention?

Like, like if you just like, I feel like there is this false sense of, I need to make, uh, uh, Delk ventures feel like I'm this amazing thing and everything's amazing and we're gonna crush it or they're not gonna be interested it's like the really good strategic investors as you just described they don't want to hear that shit you know what i mean and and and it's gonna fucking blow up yeah it's gonna it's gonna blow up if you if like it's just like dating dude like if you like It's anything. Marriage, you have to just, this is how I am. We will be great together or we won't.

Let's figure out the won't before we get going. Bezos, great example. Bezos had a very distinct plan. I'm going to lose money for the better part of 20 fucking years. So that's going to eliminate a huge amount of his um investment pool a massive amount like that's just not the horizon that's not in our fund or not our thesis whatever but there would not be an amazon if he tried to you know bait and switch someone on a four-year horizon they would have said we're going to take you over to take over the company it's going to go through but

because he got his early investors and like it like started bringing money on they bought into the vision and that's where you kind of go through and that's the piece where you need to to go and i think that again it's all about vulnerability like hey this is why we're gonna go there hey we're gonna hire this great growth marketing person because we're we've hacked it together and we don't know what the fuck we're doing and we've done something so that's showing positivity like hey if you come in with your great skills you're gonna what can you do for it tell us that way and then it gets there or most importantly like a bad hire is 10 times worse than one good hire it's so bad getting a hire wrong for everyone no one wants to do that like you don't want to change someone's life they

they leave a job and like let someone it's just it go. It's just a lose-lose for everybody. So getting to that point of not finding if it's a fit, whether it's vision, culture, skill set, whatever, getting there early or before it happens is invaluable to the business. How do we do that intentionally? Like you're sitting there or someone's listening to this and they have that idea or they're in that phase. As we've discussed, I think the natural reaction is everything's amazing. Is it just taking a step back? Is it, you know, how do we get over the fear, which I do think is real, because I think it does come back to status as well of, man, I really want Jeremy to like me, man, I really want him to

invest in me. I like, how do we get past that fear of being vulnerable of sharing the warts of being okay with that? Is it just being confident ourselves? Yeah, I do. I think it's, it's, it's being confident and you just feel connection, right? I mean, I'm telling you like you, so I, so the book is a lot of business stuff, but after I wrote the first draft, I threw it away because I felt a bit disingenuine because it was only the business shit. And now it's just as much like marriage, life, I mean, that kind of advice. And not really advice. A lot of times it's shit don't fucking do. But it was just a complete transparency.

Like you either love me or hate me, but fucking that's me. And you're entitled to your opinion, but I just wanted to put it out there. And the piece that you know was so telling for me on like i'll use like a relationship component like i struggled a ton right like i lost my dad when i was young and i went through uh a good part of my life where i wouldn't let anyone in right so i never really had any true connection it's a great way not to get hurt but a really shitty way to actually live. Right. Cause you don't really have that true connection. And when, you know, through a bunch of therapy and, you know, work that I've

done on myself, the, the, the, the feeling and the connection you get when you can be leveled by like a partner, like your wife, um, with that ultimate vulnerability is scary as fuck because your world could be crushed but the connection that you feel is so much richer right and i think if you've got that with either a spouse a great friend that you just feel like it just like it's so comfortable if you can mimic that with an employer with with it with an employee or with a staff and not like going to your personal kind of details but like hey this is where we want to go and i'm a visionary i want to do this and this is where i'm really good i'm awesome at this piece here's a piece of the pie we need to fill all these other pieces we have

this guy that's a great person in this role we We have this female that's in this role. She kills it. And this is a sliver that we really need as a company. That level of, you know, vulnerability from you, it's going to be immediately reciprocated from that person because now they're going to say, wow, he's actually, you know, telling me the truth and telling me like where the opportunity is. And that person is going to, if they're honest and vulnerable, we're going to tell you, Hey, I can do it or I can't do it or whatever. But that's how you build a culture, right? Of like, we are all in this together and I do this really well. And now we really see that team cohesive piece of, Hey, this is my responsibility because Jeremy can't do that. And I can, but I can't go and

raise the money, but don't can like, that's the piece where you can really get fired up. Oh dude, there's two things in there. Um, so you won't be able to see it cause it's back here, but, uh, one of my audience members made, uh, he's a woodworker and he made this little piece of wood and it's got three letters on a, GNF, and it stands for give no fucks, right? So we, this show, we operate by a GNF philosophy, which means trying to cultivate people into exactly who they are and being okay with that, whatever that looks like. And I, and putting that back to the business piece, a huge turning point for me as a leader was when I started becoming more vulnerable with my team,

with the things that I just simply wasn't good at. Right. And you can be strong, confident, and be vulnerable at the same time. And what I found was when I started opening up a little bit about like one of them asked me a question one time, I don't know where I was mentally. And, you know, we're in full growth mode, early startup. We got about seven people. You know, everyone's got every hand in every department. We're just trying to get shit done and build a business. And one of them asked me a question and I was like, I don't know.

And she kind of looked at me and she's like, I was like, I don't know the answer to the question that you're asking me. Like, I don't know what to do. You that you're asking me. Like, I don't know what to do. You know what I mean? Like, it's not an area that I have any experience in or any expertise in. I think it was to do with accounting. And she looked at me and I was like, I need you to figure this out. And, and like, what, what about like, for me, again, this is a turning point moment for me, her shoulders rolled back. Her head came up. Her eyes got wide. And it was like the fact that I had given that, that I had one shared with her that I didn't know what to do about the problem.

And two, that I had given it to her to solve. And entrusted her to do it. Yeah. Dude, she came back with three options that were incredible. And she's like, here's the one I think we should take. But if you don't like this one, you know got this and blah blah and she's pros and cons it was more than I could have ever asked for if I had just like been like here do this right and and then she owned the problem solved the problem for us and it was a better solution it wasn't

anything that I probably would have ever even thought of and it ended up working out great and whatever and it was wonderful and it was like if I didn't I like when I reflected on that I probably would have ever even thought of. And it ended up working out great and whatever. And it was wonderful. And it was like, if I didn't, I like when I reflected on that, I do a lot of self-reflection and I'm a lot of that comes from counseling that I've done as well is like, I was like, Oh my God, like I don't have to have all the answers just because I'm the quote unquote entrepreneur or boss or leader doesn't mean that I have to, nor does anyone even expect me to have all the answers to all the problems. And that is, I think that's the turning point that happens. Like you said, after they've been through one cycle, I think that is a relatively common insight that leaders who have been through this struggle start to get, and is a major

turning point for successful organizations. Does that, does that relate to you yeah no absolutely absolutely and it just you you i'll kind of give you another tip that i use in a business that so you had seven when you how many how big was your team 27 27 okay so i'm a personal guy i love being personal but i suck at names like i just don't i'm with you there i'm the fucking i need uh whoever that guy was on veep who stood behind her and like told her all this stuff i need that guy i need i need one of those people in my life well it's so bad like we're in a small town in luxembourg kentucky and like it's a small town but i i meet people and i'm nice i'll talk to anybody i don't care but like i'm out with my

son sometimes we're going out and like oh and, and I'd say, I see someone looking at me like, okay, they know me. So I was like, Hey, what's up, man? How's it going? And then my son's always like, who's that? Like, I have no clue, but I don't, I don't know. Um, I'm the worst, but I, but I care. It's not like I don't, I don't care to know. It's like, fuck. Hey. And then I'll usually talk to him and then I'll put it together. But for the business piece, one of the businesses that we sold a few years ago, we scaled from like zero to like 50-something million run rate. High profitable, great thing. It was a couple hundred people, 150 people.

And we would go through and, you know, now you've got leadership, you've got different things, and, you know, now you're, you've got leadership, you've got different things. And, you know, we're going to like monthly board meetings and some of the shit that I was hearing was just like, Oh, the warehouse. And like just fucking drama that I would never tolerate. And you would never tolerate in the small, you're like, dude, fuck this, figure this out, go. You would just squash it. But when you start to put layers in a business,

all of a sudden you're too important or whatever. And you, you lose the approachability. At least it happened to me. And I'm the most approachable. I don't know. I, to me in my heart,

I feel like maybe I'm not approachable all the time, but to me, I'll literally, I will talk to anyone. If I got time, not with my kids interrupted, I'll be happy to talk. And I was like,

dude, I can't, and will not you know tolerate this kind of bullshit like it's just dumb like these problems like we need to have like hey we can't meet the scale like real problems let's bring that on but not this like mundane bullshit so i created and i encourage anyone that either feels disconnected or whatever. I had one of my tech guys create like a little intranet portal where it was, you know, anonymous, no IP tracking, whatever. And you could make a comment, a request, a complaint, whatever. And I was going to address them.

Now, the first time we got like 20 or 30 of them, I remember I was in Moscow for a conference, and I did this to address them. Now, the first time we got like 20 or 30 of them, I remember I was in Moscow for a conference, and I did this for two months. And the first time, it was like just dumb shit, but I read every one. I did like a loom recording, but it was me on there like, hey, here's a question. Why is Jeremy bald?

I mean, like silly stuff, but like I read every single one. And what it did was while I'm not speaking directly to that person I think part of the people are like oh he's going to screen him and I fucking read all of them some of them were just nonsensical but by month three

and I would just make a snap call like hey we need an extra fridge because someone's like messing up the thing in the break room cool alright on this thing Dana buy two fridges have them there tomorrow so I would just action like if I could take it or also hey why are we doing this because other thing is leaders like we have it all planned out in our head we know what we're doing

and sometimes we don't let you know line team they don't know it's not because we're not trying to keep anything from them it's just like you don't have that piece so hey i've got this and i don't understand why we do this well if with the information you know it makes no fucking sense but let me tell you where we're going and what it did is it gave me a platform to have anyone without fear you know retribution any type get management completely they can buy department it can be non-department it can be. It gave them a platform to connect with me. And by going through and reading every single one, by month three and four,

it was down to like seven or 10 requests or notes. All the bullshit, because they kind of called my bluff. Like, hey, is this guy just going to, like I read everything. And it was the most impactful thing that I did for my business at that stage. Because some of them were great ideas.

Like, hey, we're doing this in shipping. It's taking two hours long. I'm like, well, that's fucking stupid. We want to do this. I'm like, well, fucking that's a great idea. Do it. And it's the same thing that happened in your example with someone that you're probably with leadership and gave her that kind of the hee-haw. But, dude, sometimes the greatest ideas can come from not where you're

expecting them and you can get information but creating that access where you are approachable and that was a great a great way for me to do it because you always can't sit down with somebody you can't always do one just time doesn't give that but this was a way that you could go through for a month submit these things that i would go through and take an hour hour and a half i love that idea record it's it out company-wide. It was a great way. But the lesson is being vulnerable and showing that you care and you don't know the answers. And I did that.

Sometimes I didn't have the answer. I don't know, but we'll figure this out as a problem. So just off the cuff, no prep, just kind of going through it. It was the best hour I did a month. I completely agree. I actually picked up. I didn't do that, hour I did a month. I completely agree. I actually picked up, I didn't do that. Although I love that idea. Uh, and we'll probably use that in the future for different endeavors. Cause I think it's phenomenal. Um, I actually picked up from a

company that I invested in a founder would do for his team. Uh, every Monday he would do a vision meeting and he would do a loom. Right. And he's like, look, like it's hard to get everyone. I don't want to waste your time. You know, another 30 minute meeting where we talk about whatever. So he would do a 10 to 15 minute loom where you would talk about what new development updates they pushed out. What, you know, what was going on with sales? He would talk about retention numbers. So we would have like things he would report on. And then he would finish the call with talking about the vision, talking about, you know, different things that would report on. And then he would finish the call with talking about the vision, talking about, you know,

different things that are coming up. He would talk about different stuff that was going on. He would even give shout outs to employees. And I would watch these things and I'd be like, Jesus, if I worked for this guy, I'd be pretty jacked up after watching this. Like,

you know what I mean? Cause, cause he would pull out, Hey, we're, we're struggling with retention this month. We're missing on this. You know,

you know, if you're, you know, if you're in that department, reach out to me, if I can help, blah, blah, blah. So he was doing all these calls to action. I was like, and he did it every Monday. Uh, and it would come out in the afternoon and people would watch it at all different times. He said, the amazing part is people were going home from work. Cause you can see what loom when people watch the video, he's like, people will be watching the video from home. So they would bookmark it, you know, go through their work their whole day do their thingy dinner he's like seven eight nine o'clock at night is when like half the half the people in the company

would watch the video and i was like man what a good and i started doing that and that that worked really well um that was towards the end before i exited, but that was a really good thing. And I just think, to your point, I think you said it, like, oftentimes we have all the mission, vision, all these amazing things that are coming or that we're currently doing. We have them in here, and we are so bad. Maybe it's sharing with the leadership team, but when it gets down below that, we're really bad at getting to Sally in accounting or Johnny in customer service. We're so bad at getting that in front of them. And then sometimes it's even worse. It's got a massive net positive by getting people in power, getting people on there but without and it's we know as leaders that it's just lack of you know thoughtfulness and just moving at a million miles that we're not thinking about it but sometimes it's it's it's

really perceived the other way well i'm not important enough to know this or they don't want me to know this or which is fucking bold like why would i not you're all part of the team but that's that mindset they go through so um the reasons to do it are so much more impactful. So you talked about your kid giving you crap for talking to everybody on the street. My kid does the exact same thing because I'm the same way. I see somebody. We got a puppy, so we'll go walk around the neighborhood, and so-and-so will come out. We'll start shooting.

And my kid will be poking me in the side like, Dad, Dad, come on, come on. He wants to keep moving, and I'm rapping or whatever. You know, and I coach his baseball team. And after the game, I'm always rapping with parents or other coaches. And he's like, and I just looked at him one day. I'm like, look, this is your coach's, you know, coach's kid. So this is what it is. I don't know what to tell you.

I like to talk about, you know, I don't know. But you do this thing that I think is pretty interesting. And I'd love for you to just talk about this four trip challenge, this time that you spend with your kids. Talk to me a little bit about what this is, where this came from, and maybe what the impact has been with you connecting with your children. Yeah, so I stole it from a doctor that I knew back in Louisville. And he started doing it. And I hope everyone steals it from me you know let's face it especially we talk about entrepreneurship and kids and and things but

entrepreneurs it's you know 100 hour week isn't isn't unheard of and you're just doing a ton and i think moms are probably the toughest job in the world and get like not enough credit but you know just innately mothers are typically the nurturers you know dads are doing their different roles you're coaching baseball but there's just a different level so you're going on trips like my wife hates it like we're going tomorrow like i'll pack in the morning and be done she's got everything lined up and like it's like we're just and it's good we're getting young but we just kind of go and figure it out but she takes care of the entire family to kind of pull together so mom always innately had those nurturing type of components.

And I've got three kids, a 10-year-old son, five-year-old daughter, and a six-month-old son. And I started doing it with my son. First trip with him was Legoland. My daughter, we went to Barbie World in Dallas this past year. And it's called a four trip challenge by, cause you've got, you know, I've heard the stat you have like, you know, what, 14 summers with your kids, right? They don't remember the first two, then they kind of go off to college. So we have such a small

amount of time to spend with our kids. Um, and we're all doing summer vacation. We've got travel, baseball, different sports. So I started doing this thing where for each kid, I do a solo trip with them and they can pick wherever they want to go. And it's five years, 10 years. And I will do a 15 and a 20 year, right? Because then they're 21, they're in college. But the amount of connection that I've built there, I mean, other than a daddy daughter dance I do with my daughter that she just absolutely loves. Like she remembers those things. We go like twice when it's in town.

But, you know, it's just crazy, right, whether it's just getting on the airplane together with you just one-on-one. And the intention, especially if they have siblings, they're always competing for attention. Or you've got your mom, you're a distraction, and I don't do any work. I just kind of go through, and it's, what do you want to do? It's almost like a yes trip. And anyone can do it, right? I mean, you know, it's four trips, right? So it doesn't have to be super extravagant, but kind of going and, and, you know, saving up a little bit of money for, you know, each kid for the year, you could actually do a pretty nice little, little deal. And yeah, I just can't, can't, uh, can't talk enough about it. My son

went from Legoland at five five to ten we did dubai he loves cars and so like the and he's an adventure guy and i've done a lot of business over there and all these are on my my feet the barbie trip with my daughter and i'm just telling it's it's the greatest thing uh i've done like there's just a relationship that you build there and like the conversations and just because it's it's focused it's not going to like the daddy-daughter answers are great but that's one night they feel special but i mean it's just memories that they are going to remember forever um and more selfishly you are right you have those things that are just like so so much it's just great and they're looking forward to it like my daughter's like already thinking about where she wants and obviously it's going to change

a million times um because she's got five years to go. But it's that type of thing like, wow, what am I going to do for my dad trip and like that piece. So it's a massive, massive amount of fun. Dude, I appreciate you so much. I learned a hard lesson. I'm divorced. I learned a hard lesson on if your home life, if you're an entrepreneur in particular, but really for anybody, but I think this is especially true for entrepreneurs.

If you don't have a foundation at home, that's stable, that's filled with love and connection, I mean, not every day is going to be good. We're humans. But that long-term stability, that care and compassion, if you're not nurturing that, your success in business, one, is going to be limited by that. Absolutely. And two, it's never going to feel the same, right? When you can come home from, you know, I had a pretty important speaking gig that I did in April. And I talked to my kids about it and they saw me preparing for it and they watched me practicing and they heard, you know, saw me, you know,

working on notes and different stuff. And man, when I came home, frankly, I didn't even know they were watching and listening, you know? But like when I came home, they were so excited. Dad, how did it go? They're asking me all these questions. You know, can we see pictures?

Can we see whatever? And like, like you know not about the business thing it was more that I was like I'm doing better like I'm doing better with my home foundation because they're so they're not like oh dad's gone again they were excited because they knew when I got back I was going to be present and I was going to be present and I was going to care about them. And I just think what you just described is a phenomenal way of cultivating that continued connection with your family, despite all the pulls that you have on you as an entrepreneur. Yeah, for sure. And, you know, we share that and I talk about this in the book, you know, you, you, you hit a bunch of things that talk about you know i'm divorced as well and um

i can that's probably a whole other podcast but i think i didn't have like we actually my ex-wife we didn't fight really it was actually but we weren't growing we grew way apart not together and like just you know you if that doesn't work you don't but we didn't have that love passion connection and then I think that's the example. Like, so it's not even like, like you're in a bad relationship and you're always yelling on the kids. It was the inverse, but they never saw that word with my wife. Now, like we're having water fights and it's again, not always great, but seeing that love and connection that sets the example for what they're going to look for in a partner and what the

expectation of love and relationship is but two um divorce fucking sucks and i've you know i have friends that go through it and i always like my advice is dude if you can figure it the fuck out do it because it sucks for the kids piece but i i took um being with my kids 100% time now we have like the shared custody like two to three so I took that for granted because you come home you work and your kids are always there and you're not present where now I would argue them and feel pretty firm that I'm a much better much more present dad like I'm doing dropouts I'm doing these things because now it's the expectation like it's not now you have limited time now now you you've got to do it so don't do that if you so i guess the lesson is like you're not divorced and you're going through it but don't take it for granted man because it goes by so fucking quick and you're right the kids remember that like the kids know

that i walk my you know when i'm walking my daughter into school every day where i'm there pick up on the practices like they know that shit. Like, and I talk about this, like when the, it was shitty to hear, but, uh, I remember my son said to my wife, um, my current wife, Maggie, um, cause I'm, I don't miss dinner. Like I'm home for dinner. I'm all those things. It wasn't me. And it wasn't that I was that busy. I was that busy with work, but I didn't, I wasn't happy in my marriage and stuff. My son made a comment to my wife. This was three or four years ago.

It's weird. Daddy was never home for dinners and stuff, and now he doesn't miss a thing. Maybe one I've missed in five years. They fucking noticed, and we can tell ourselves where the bullshit we want to tell ourselves that, oh, they're too young. But dude, I'm telling you, they fucking are so, they're sponges

and they may not say anything, but they do know. So if just, I couldn't agree with you more. Dude, what you just described is basically my experience to a T. I'm in two, two-3, same exact experience. I had two moments with my kids that were very eye-opening to me recently.

So I've been dating a woman for a while now, and she's wonderful, and we have a great connection, and there may be a future there. But my son said to me, Dad, I feel like every time i walk away you guys are kissing and i was like well yeah i guess i don't know i was like he's like but like i go i i'm not like trying to shove it in your face and i don't know whatever i was like it's not like we're like making out or whatever but you know just give maybe like a kiss or affection. I'm showing affection. And, and he said, you and mom never did that. And I, it like really hit me how much, cause you know, he was young. You know, my, my older son was young when, when we got divorced and it like hit me that how much he picked up on the fact that even though we were married and together, we weren't sitting next to each other on the couch.

We weren't hugging each other in the kitchen. We weren't showing affection. And that was new to him. So that's one. Two, to your point of they're listening to everything we say. The other day, so I tend to be just like you, very positive, glass half full, let's go, push through, you know, gritty, all that stuff. I'm constantly, I talk to my kids like they're adults. I do not believe in talking to your children like they're dumb.

They're not dumb. In many cases, their curiosity and sponge-like brain, to use your word, is actually deeper and richer than our own. They're listening to every frigging word we say, the way we say it, who we say it to. And I had this moment the other day where I was talking about something and I was being kind of negative and my kid flips on me and literally regurgitates something back to me that I had said to him about baseball, like a few months earlier. And I like, I'm driving. I literally like did this move where I was like, whoa. And I said, thanks, bud. I needed to hear that in my head. I'm going, holy shit. He listened to that. Like he was actually like taking that thought in like, oh my God, it was, it was, uh, it

was a really wonderful moment, but dude, I want to be respectful of your time and that of the audience. I want to close with one final question that we ask all our guests. Everyone is extraordinary. You are extraordinary. How do you defy being ordinary in your life? That's a good question. So how do I defy being ordinary in my life? Um, yeah, I think it goes, I'll, I'll answer it and not be too long winded, but I think it goes back to when i talked about that 20 year old that you know maybe doesn't have kids like someone to come on your dm you know it changes right i chased the

watches and the cars and the things and now like so i think you you always have those different pieces and those things drive some people um for me it's now a hundred percent the family right and like those experiences, those things, like being able to have that luxury of some time and some experiences and travel, I think that's all that you kind of get in life. And I think everyone is extraordinary in their own right. And it's just kind of getting the courage to kind of go in doing that. And I think that's why I do these podcasts. I don't, I don't think I'm getting a check from you, but I'll take one. Right. But we don't make money doing this stuff.

Right. But I think there's a there's an obligation to serve and to share because, you know, there's someone on the other end listening and hearing that that can relate and go through and maybe they can get that courage to take that step. So that's how I really kind of framed up now to my pursuit of trying to be extraordinary is just to try to get more people to kind of go through and just follow the passions and take, take chances and, you know, grow and learn and keep that curiosity going. Um, you know, remember how it was when you were a kid, like if you were, you know, we didn't know bounds, we didn't know that things could happen. And I still firmly believe that's how it is. There's not a limit of anything you can do. Um, it's just getting out, as you say, in between your two ears and having that courage to take a chance.

Jeremy, I appreciate you. I appreciate your story. And I absolutely appreciate your time. Thank you so much. My pleasure. Thank you. Let's go. Yeah, make it look, make it look, make it look easy.

Thank you for listening to The Ryan Hanley Show. Be sure to subscribe and leave us a comment or review wherever you listen to podcasts. Close twice as many deals by this time next week. Sound impossible? It's not. With the one-call-close system, you'll stop chasing leads and start closing deals in one call. This is the exact method we used to close 1,200 clients in under three years during the pandemic. No fluff, no endless follow-ups, just results fast. Based in behavioral psychology and battle-tested, the one-call closed system eliminates excuses

and gets the prospect saying yes more than you ever thought possible. If you're ready to stop losing opportunities and start winning, visit MasterOfTheClothes.com. That's MasterOfTheClothes.com. That's masteroftheclothes.com. Do it today.