The Ryan Hanley Show - From Heartbreak to Harmony | DeeAnn Dimeo

Episode Date: August 19, 2024

Became a Master of the Close: https://masteroftheclose.comIt's incredible how music can transform pain into beauty. Join us for an incredible conversation with DeeAnn Dimeo, a remarkably versatile musician whose journey through pop, country, blues, and jazz is as inspiring as it is moving. Join 10,000+ subscribers: https://linktr.ee/ryan_hanleyConnect with DeeAnn DimeoInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/deeann_dimeosings/Website: https://deeannmusic.com/DeeAnn shares her deeply personal story of growing up in Buffalo, the significant influence of her musical family, and how icons like her father and Barbra Streisand shaped her artistic path. Most profoundly, she opens up about the tragic loss of her child three years ago and how that heartbreak became the catalyst for her latest jazz album, a testament to human resilience and creativity.As we explore DeeAnn's rich musical journey, she offers invaluable insights into her evolving passion for music—from the rhythmic beats of dance tracks to the profound lyrics and melodies that define her work today. DeeAnn discusses the intricacies of songwriting, drawing from personal experiences of love and loss, and utilizing modern tools to capture spontaneous ideas. Balancing the emotional weight of performing original songs with the demands of personal life, DeeAnn's narrative underscores the importance of self-expression and the deep connection she forms with her audience through her music.Our conversation also touches on the profound themes of faith, presence, and authenticity. DeeAnn illuminates how spirituality comforted her during times of uncertainty and how being present in the moment—whether through mindful walks in nature or stargazing—can transform one's mental clarity and creativity. We also delve into the challenges of maintaining authenticity in the music industry, with DeeAnn sharing her advice for aspiring musicians on embracing their unique voice amidst modern technological pressures. Don't miss this deeply inspiring episode, celebrating the power of resilience, passion, and authentic self-expression in the world of music.

Yeah, um, the beginning, I didn't want to listen to music. I didn't want to, I didn't want to sing a note. Let's go. Yeah, make it look, make it look, make it look easy. The Ryan Hanley Show shares the original ideas, habits, and mindsets of world-class original thinkers you can use to produce extraordinary results in your life and business. This is The Way. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the show. We have an incredible conversation for you today with Deanne DeMeo. Deanne has a storied musical career working with some incredible acts as well as a solo career, and her most recent album is actually in the jet the jazz genre and we talk about how she has moved through things like pop and country now to jazz how she was able to do that why she did it what her inspirations for that was where she gets her

creativity for but the power of this episode is dealing with tragedy and in this case diane was faced with the loss of her child three years ago and dealing with her son's death coming through that and how she was able to re-energize her career re-energize her creativity and pull herself through that moment in order to be the success that she is today launching a brand new album this is a powerful episode buckle up you're going to absolutely love it if this is your first episode. Buckle up. You're going to absolutely love it. If this is your first time listening to the show, whether you're listening on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts, or you're watching on YouTube, make sure you hit the

subscribe button so you get future episodes. If you have comments, if you have thoughts, if you just want to show support for Deanne, either connect with her directly or leave it in the comment section or in the review section of wherever you're listening or watching that way we can pull uh dn in and connect her with you if you uh want to do so dan is a wonderful person it was such a pleasure having on the show i know you're gonna love this conversation and as always i appreciate the hell out of you for listening. I love you for listening. Let's get on to Deanne DeMeo. Deanne, so excited to have you on the show. When I was researching you, one of the first things that I saw that I found intriguing

in a place of connection that we have is that you're from Buffalo. Yes, I am. Well, not in Buffalo, actually. Yeah. So my entire family, except for me, I have like 30 Irish Catholic cousins and now all kinds of, you know, second cousins or whatever you call their kids. Just this huge Irish Catholic family in South Buffalo. They all live in South Buffalo. So I've been to Buffalo 10 million times. My, you know, we're Bills fans and Sabres fans and Western New York has, uh, plays a huge role in

my life. And, uh, I thought that was a really interesting connection point. Yes, definitely Buffalo Bills. I think we are the only team that for consecutive years in a row. Yes. Yeah. Four consecutive years for a hundred percent. Unfortunately we never came away with the trophy, but, um, there's a, it's funny people I find who, find who grew up in Buffalo or Western New York in general and were, you know, they didn't have to be huge fans, but followed the team at that time. There's like this. There's like this odd camaraderie that you just have to have if you experienced those moments, whether you're like someone who was yelling at the TV or just, you know, there and aware. There's always this shared connection point having suffered or just how much the city suffered during that time, you know? Yeah.

It's so interesting. Yeah. So funny what sports does to us. And we were talking a little beforehand about baseball and and your son and I want to get into all that but uh what you were discussing was was coaches and I think of that more you know not just not just coaches in sports but you could have a coach in basically anything you do mentors you know I'm interested in you came from a musical family. Was that your primary influence? Was there someone else that grabbed you that that that kind of pushed you into this life that that this was going to be kind of an enormous part of who you are? Like, did you have that dream. When I was seven, I knew this is what I wanted to do. And I was playing in the playground in school and we were talking.

I don't even know how it came up, but I said, I'm going to be a singer. That's what I'm doing. I don't know why I thought that at seven, but my father, always a singer, singing around the house, turning me on to jazz music and I didn't want to listen to jazz at the time because I wanted to listen to pop music and Barbra Streisand actually so I'd say between my father being my mentor

and it's kind of crazy but Barbra Streisand was another mentor to me I just would read about her and absorb everything about her because I was just so enamored with her, um, her passion and her strength and her, um, her confidence and her drive. And, you know, so kind of learned a lot from her by reading her stories.

But my father definitely, my father was from her by reading her stories. But my father, definitely. My father was from the beginning to the end. He just passed a couple years ago. So, yeah. So, ultimately, you found yourself in jazz. What brought you back? I found myself not in jazz. I mean, I found myself in jazz with my dad, yeah.

But I went into pop. I went, um, I went into pop. I went into country. I went into blues, blues, jazz, similar countries. They're all kind of similar in ways, but, um, jazz was where you can be free to change the melody and not change the melody. You got to respect the melody of the song. So the first time you change the melody you got to respect the melody of the song so the first time you sing the verse chorus you always want to give respect to that melody but if you want to change your envelope you have some freedom there where when it's saying the pop you know it's

just you want to kind of sing verbatim like what it is you you don't want to change it and the jazz to me was a challenge because uh i didn't know i I kind of liked how I had to stay within the lines. And now I like that I can go outside the lines and do whatever I want. And sometimes it sounds fantastic. And sometimes like, oh, maybe I shouldn't have done that. But I learn. Every day is a learning process. You know, I've had other jazz musicians.

And obviously that's where you are today in your work, and I want to dig into the evolution of that. But I've always been so enamored by jazz and blues particularly in how you can listen to a song, the studio recording of any particular song and sounds great. And then you could hear a live version or see that same individual live. And it's almost as if I think more than any other genres, those two particular allow the music captures the mood of the artist in that moment and allows them to express it where like a pop artist, if he or she's having a bad day, they're going to sing the song exactly the same way. It's going to come off, you know, pretty close to what you're going to get, but you could hear somebody just be in a different mood and the same, the same blues tune comes off a little slower with a little

more cadence or a little more depth or, or vice and i i find that such an intriguing quality of those particular types of music absolutely um my drummer i used to work with uh i do a wednesday afternoon jazz gig 12 to 2 and we give people um and it's a sportsman's you know buffalo so it's sportsman's yep yeah yeah oh yeah so um uh i used to work with a drummer who worked with billy holiday and he said exactly that that she would it depended on her mood how the song came out so one of her songs that i love to sing fine and mellow it could be upbeat bluesy swing it could be just torture it could be upbeat, bluesy swing. It could be just torture. It could be whatever mood she's in. And she told me that the musicians would,

they would have to, what mood is she in today? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which way are we doing this song? And you just had to pay attention. But yeah, music is such a release. And if you want to sing that song real bluesy and more sultry, then you go ahead and do it. You have the freedom. I'm very interested in how you transitioned

throughout your career through the different genres of music because you don't necessarily see a lot of people go pop to country to something else, right? Like you don't, you don't see those, those moods. I mean, people may do different artists and certainly some artists who've been around a long time have tried different styles, but one, I guess, and again, so, you know, and I've said this before in the show, I am like not musically inclined. I have this enormous and huge appreciation and I've said this before on the show, I am not musically inclined.

I have this enormous and huge appreciation. And I'm sure if I practiced, I could make something come out of an instrument. But at my core, I do not have any like God given musical talent at all. So I'm very interested in just what what inspiration you had to say, hey, I'd like to try something different. Is it hearing a certain song? Is it just you're in a different place in your life? Is it a seasonal thing? Like how does that – how do you make those transitions or decide or what's your inspiration to make that kind of move?

That's exactly – well, first of all, let me just say you may have musical talent that you don't want because I used to teach pre-k to eighth grade and I used to teach those kids how to sing on pitch because they didn't think they could and many that I thought oh possibly I don't know if they're singing you know if I'm gonna do be successful here but 95% of them I was able to. So I'm not saying that you don't know me. But as far as different genres, I guess it just depends on what's going on in your life, the maturity, where you are. Pop was fun to me.

It was dance music. I love to dance. So I love the gloria stefan stuff and you know my name is sound machine had her band was just so rhythmic and um the the beginning days um like i said started with barbara streisand so for me it's about the song it's about the vocal because i'm always that's the first thing i listen to i i listen to the production of the whole song but So for me, it's about the song. It's about the vocal because I'm always, that's the first thing I listen to. I listen to the production of the whole song, but the vocal is what grabs me.

And a song is a song, whether it's in the country vein or it's in the jazz vein. But if it's a good song, I'm loving it. So I think that's how I kind of switch from different genres because I still love country very much. A friend of mine, we were just listening to George Jones, some of the earlier stuff, and I didn't even know about some of his earlier stuff, and he turned me on to it.

And I opened up for George Jones singing country. But then again, I did the pop stuff, and I loved doing the dance band and watching the people enjoy that dancing to that music that we were producing. So it really just depends what's going on in your life. As I matured even more, I really love the freedom of the jazz and the blues. Oh, the blues. Oh, the blues, yeah. Just to be able to just express yourself and reach someone through your vocal means everything. It's more than the paycheck at the end of the day

or how many people were watching you, how much validation you may have gotten or may not. It's when someone is so moved from your song, from your vocal, especially if it's your original song yeah the best what yeah so that's why I think I just I I love all genres but right now I'm very comfortable and happy to um book as many jazz shows as I can because that's my time now like the name of my cd it's my time yeah what how do you write a song like oh that's crazy yeah I mean I just I've never written a song um like where does the inspiration is it is it is it

like the Jerry Seinfeld method where you sit down every day and you're putting notes down and or is it you you're getting inspiration and things are coming to you? Or are you constantly collecting ideas? Like, how does that work for you? Yeah, for me, it's definitely inspired by a few things. One of them is just what's going on in your life. And all of a sudden, I'll just start speaking something or I'll start saying something or I'll hear a melody and I'll just write it down or because we have Ike's phones now, I'll get the voice memo and I'll record a... Are you tired of endless follow-ups and missed opportunities in your sales process?

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Visit masteroftheclose.com today. Close twice as many deals this time next week. Visit masteroftheclose.com to learn how. ...version of Acapulco without instrumentation. I'll record that so i can get inspired by that or i can get inspired by my one song me after you it's called was inspired by a very sad love story me before you um everybody's got a story a song i wrote after i lost my brother i was inspired because i was like everybody's got a story everyone's walking around with something and you have no idea

what they're walking around with so you always have to be kind and the bridge is talking about just listen just observe just watch what they're going through because when they're snapping at you it's not what you did most of the time it's about what they're going through because when they're snapping at you it's not what you did most of the time it's about what they're going through yeah and you don't know if they just if their husband just upped and left two days ago or they just buried a very special person in their lives or they just lost a job or um there is abuse like you don't know what's going on in people's lives. So that's where that song came from. And just so many of them.

Stay Here is another song I wrote missing someone who left me. So, you know, that's how they get inspired a lot. And sometimes they're written in, like, two, three minutes. They're done done and everything comes flowing and sometimes it's like you put it down you go back to it and there's a song called torn that i wrote um i was torn between do i um keep trying to pursue this thing this at the time i was doing a lot of stuff in nashville do i keep trying to pursue this thing. This, at the time I was doing a lot of stuff in Nashville. Do I keep trying to pursue this or do I have children? Cause I knew my spouse at the time was not, um, not going to like the lifestyle of music and children, which that happens in a lot of

relationships, unfortunately. So I was torn, which way do I go? And I end up going towards having two children um which I don't regret a second of that but again that song started and it didn't get finished until I don't know it didn't get recorded till years later so there's a lot of notes too yeah go under my piano bench you'll see tons and tons of handwriting that we don't do anymore. And you'll see, you know, like so many lyrics that I've written throughout the years. I may have not may not have put melodies to yet. And how do you put the melody? Like, I guess what I've never been able to wrap my head around is, does the melody come first? Do the lyrics come first?

Like, how do you start to match those two? You know, you hear in R&B a lot, there are producers who all they do is produce beats and drops and riffs and, you know, these different things. And then they find an artist who can put lyrics over the top. You know, how do you piece all that together? Like what are you in your mind while you're singing the song or you're doing it acapella? Do you also have like a background track going in your head of kind of maybe where some beats are or something like that in my situation um i don't do the beat so much um i didn't grow up with that as and i appreciate it um i sang my stuff a lot of it i sang acapella or i would accompany myself on piano with some basic chords that I can do.

And either it goes both ways. Sometimes I can hear the melody and I'll just start humming it. And then I'll say, oh, I should try to put some lyrics to that. And sometimes nothing happens. Or more often, I'd say I hear say I write the lyrics first and then I try to put a melody to it. But also what has happened for me is my producer, who produced my last three albums, I would send him the a cappella version of me singing, and then he would surprise me with arrangement around it.

So he'd accompany it with chords. And sometimes I'd be like, I did not hear that the way you're hearing it. And it's all subjective. And 99.9% of the time, I loved what he was putting around it and I even if I didn't hear what he was hearing so he would start putting the chords around it and some much prettier chords than I was playing um and then he might try a different rhythm that that um I didn't maybe hear myself so it's in my situation it's been a combination of the producer and myself putting it together so that's why I say we co-write songs yeah um your latest album it's

my time which you referenced before is dedicated to your late son one maybe just as much as you can talk about how that you were able to bring anything creative out of such a horrifying experience and, you know, just talk a little bit about how that experience shapes your creation process. Yeah. Um, the beginning, I didn't want to listen to music. I didn't want to, I didn't want to sing a note I actually couldn't hum for the longest time I'm always humming um that takes a long time and then my producer started like hey let's do this let's do that and then he'd look at me you're not ready no I got yeah I am yeah you know I'd get defensive yeah I am but I wasn't um then I'd say

probably it was a year later I really wanted to do a fundraiser for him I wanted his which I've completed which I'll tell you about it but I couldn't just let it end there. He was 23. He was a very smart, driven, funny, kind of spontaneous, talented in his sports. He thought he can sing, but kind of. So I couldn't let William's life end right there at 23 years old so when my producer said let's put a show together and we'll raise money for the fundraiser for the scholarship and I said okay so he puts the flyer together and it says all proceeds going to William's scholarship and I was like I don't have a scholarship so wait a minute we can't put this flyer out he's like no you better find a scholarship so it friends really and family really helped me through a lot of this time so i went to

canisius high school where my son played baseball um he was the catcher and the varsity team uh right i think he joined jb in his freshman year at a sophomore year he was already in the varsity team he was a fantastic catcher which you know playing baseball that's like the guy that's got to watch everything and you got to captain the to the defense. Pardon? Captain of the defense. Yes. And he, you know, I didn't realize how much he has to think about. So he went to that school.

He graduated seventh in his class, you know, a great scholarship to go there. And so during his junior year, he went to, he really wanted to do something. He always wanted to find purpose in life, which I'm the same way. Like, I always feel like, why are we here? And he did that trip to Nicaragua. It's a mission trip. And he went for 10 days and he helped them build their church.

And he stayed in the little house whatever you call their little houses was like a little hut with the bathroom in the back and um maybe some dirt floors and they're you know that's their lifestyle they didn't have a lot he watched them it was life-changing for him he watched watched how happy they were, and they had nothing. Where you come back here, we have everything. We have way too much, and then we're not happy. We're trying to figure out, well, how do I get happy? And they're just happy with the authentic, simple life.

There's so much love. The families are together. So he just saw so much life changing for him. So that came to my mind. So I went to Canisius and Andy DL, I said, listen, you know, I'm, I'm, you know, a mourning mother and I need to do something for my son. He helped me set it up. So's um been going for well i started it's been three years since i lost my son so it's um i started it two years ago and within you needed to raise fifty thousand dollars to get it endowed so within a year i raised it and i was just driven and um I sent two boys on the trip so far my first boy James we just did

an interview with him our local news station and it was fantastic Pete Gallivan from channel two he's like I maybe you know him from being from Buffalo he's on the morning show. And he interviewed James, myself, Andy, and James just said, I'm so grateful. It's been life-changing. I want to start a non-profit organization now. I want to help other people. I have a purpose. I know there's something in life that I'm supposed to do, and I'm finding this purpose and going on this trip. So Williams Scholarship will continue to help each individual every year. It's an all-boys school. And their junior year is when they do their mission trips. And that's what kept me singing.

So that was the answer to your question. Wow. Obviously, I'm supposed to do this. And i'm supposed to keep this story alive to help others because i know there are many other people hurting just as bad or definitely worse so if i can help these young men get a change in their life i'm'm, I'm happy. And then I'm doing my purpose and I'm doing it, you know, through singing, through interviews, because I share my story with others on stage and, and, and everyone wants to help and they want to donate and they, you know, so it's all good. Yeah. As much as we give people, people, the proverbial people a hard time. And I think we're all caught up in our own stuff at our core.

I think most of us just want to help other people. I mean, when the rubber really meets the road, so many people come out. Yeah. You notice anytime there's tragedies, it's so many people are running to help, uh, in this country, other countries. Yeah. And I know I feel the best when I'm helping someone else. I've always felt that way.

And if I can help them through the scholarship, if I can help them through showing that no matter what tragedies come on, you know, and going spiritual now. God has a plan. I didn't agree with his plan on this one. I still don't understand the plan. And I'm just going to have to have my faith and believe that this plan, everything's happening the way it's supposed to happen. And I will see him again when it's my time.

Meanwhile, I'm singing and I'm taking care of my daughter, who I have a beautiful daughter. She's 23. Or 24, she just turned. And I'm going to still sell my purpose and keep living because that's what I'm supposed to do. Yeah. I think you have to believe, and, you know, I've lost people in my own life.

And I think also God fearing I I think you have to believe that God needed him for something you know that's what my dad used to tell me you know when we would lose family members and I would ask questions he would say hey he needed him for something some unique skill that that individual had you know for whatever reason and it's terrible but i think um how else do you explain it you know yeah you can't really um you just uh you gotta have faith i don't know how I would do this without my faith. I know that much. Yeah. I would be very lost. Yeah. I really cannot wrap my head around this idea of there's a new atheism is something that you hear a lot. I've listened to the people. They're very intelligent. I'm very interested in what they have to say.

I still, despite all the arguments that I've heard, cannot wrap my head around the idea of believing that there isn't something bigger than, there's too many experiences, too many feelings, too many moments in my own life, let alone all the books I've read and, you know, all the people you talk to, to believe that there isn't something bigger going on that we just can't see. And I don't know how you live. I don't know how you live. What, what become morality alone cannot be your compass. In my opinion, there has to be more than than that. And I also don't think that without a mooring to God, you it's too easy to excuse away moments where morality doesn't fit. And that's the part that I struggle with with that concept. And I feel like that concept falls apart.

Yeah, it kind of scares me where they're at and all that atheism stuff. There's no hope. And why would you worry about doing anything wrong if you're not going to be punished for it or if you're not? Yeah, you don't have any morals because why? There's nothing after here. So just do whatever you want to do whenever you want to do it. And that's scary thought. Yeah. Life has changed a lot since I've been, since I came on this earth and, um, I pray that we all find a way and there's no set,

like I'm not like you have to be this kind of religion or that kind of religion same religion is um it's really human beings trying to come together and put you know a community together which a lot of us need that community to get you know to share with each other but still at the end of the day your um spiritual needs and fulfillment come in through here so yours through your soul yeah and without in my opinion without religion i feel like too much of our lives we're taught first we're never actually taught, but we're then rewarded as we grow older. Everything, all our rewards are externalities. It's all about external. When you grow up in a church, and that church can take many different forms, you start to learn about the importance of taking care of yourself and about what it means to actually love yourself,

be comfortable with yourself, find meaning that's unique and specific to you as an individual, and instead of constantly searching for some form of justification or external validation for the things that you do. And that feels to me like the big disconnect between much of what we're seeing in our society today that to me is bananas and the individuals that I know grew up with faith. It's almost like they just see two completely different realities. Absolutely. Their perspective is so different than not having something to believe in.

I was listening to one of your podcasts. I don't remember his name, but he was talking about how we're so busy and we don't, we want noise around us because we don't want to, we don't want the quiet. Because if we have the quiet, then we have to face what's going on in our head. And if we face what's going on in our mind, then there's that inner child that needs to resolve things. And if we don't resolve those things, we're going to continue to use that behavior with the next relationship,

with the next friend, with the job, with anything we do, because we're still trying to resolve something that happened when we were three. And there's so much noise now that, um, nobody likes to listen and sit in quiet. Then, and you know, and I'm not saying you got to be quiet as far as meditation and cross your legs and raise your hands, you know, and I'm not saying you got to be quiet as far as meditation and cross your legs and raise your hands, you know, and hum quiet, even if you're in the streets in New York City,

and you're, there's noise all around, you got to get the quiet in your own core. And I think that a lot of people are afraid to do that and i think many people go through life never doing it never finding that authentic self never loving that self because there's always rush to the next thing the next movement the next sound and i liked that podcast and i didn't finish listening to i still have to listen to it i think that was mike robbins i think i think that was mike robbins who said that i uh so it's funny i'm reading i've just i shouldn't say i'm reading i just finished um eckhart tolle's the power of now oh i read another book i never read i have it but i didn't read it it's a good one you can

my opinion is you read the first hundred ish pages and you kind of can blow through the next hundred. But the concept is fairly simple but incredibly powerful in my opinion. And it's just one of his core ideas and maybe one of the primary ideas is this idea that all the time we spend in the past and all the time we spend in the future is wasted. That right now, in this moment with you, I could be thinking about the four things I need to get done tonight. I'm going to go with my girlfriend to dinner. And I got this thing over here. And I could be thinking about how there was a question I wanted to ask on the last podcast, and I never got to it. And I was upset with myself. I could be thinking about all these things. Or I could be 100% in this moment with you,

listening to you, responding to you, connecting with you, and developing in the short time that we have together a connection that allows you to feel heard, to share your story, and for the audience to understand that there's a real conversation happening, and that it's not just a business transaction where you come on and speak and I speak and we wait for our turns, right?

And how I decided to try to practice that because I will say that I'm not the best at this particular thing. I do these ruck walks. You ever see people with the ruck vests? They wear weighted plates in the vest and they go, okay, so I wear a ruck vest. It's a 40 with the ruck vests? They wear weighted plates in the vest. And they go, okay, so I wear a ruck vest. It's a 40 pound, 20 in the front, 20 in the back. And I love it. It's a fantastic exercise. I highly recommend it for anyone.

It strengthens all the small muscles that you kind of bypass when you walk without weight so I it's an exercise I love it but what I used to do is I put a podcast on so now I'm listening to someone else someone else's ideas are in my brain I'm not really in myself I'm kind of listening to them while I go for this walk and I'm walking through and I live in kind of a wooded area so it's kind of beautiful kind of place that I live in and one day I just I just took the AirPods out and I left them at home and I went for the walk without my phone and without my AirPods. And I went, I go for about 45 minutes and I came back and I had, it was a completely different sensation. I don't want to say, I don't want to say better or worse necessarily, because I do enjoy also listening to podcasts when I go on my walks. But I said, I'm going to start working this in once or twice because the stuff that starts to pop in your brain is kind of crazy. Like when

you give yourself space, like without music and without someone on their voice, these thoughts and ideas and whatever start popping in your brain. I was like, Ooh, I wouldn't have expected to think about that right now. Or I didn't know that that was in the back of my mind somewhere. And it was just a really interesting experience in trying to be present for a 45-minute walk. That's funny you're saying that because around my block, I have a wooded area. And they built a path there.

And it's probably a couple miles. And I used to go with the podcast or music constantly. And then one day I took them off, same story. And I said, and not that it's worse or better, right, like you said, but it made me stay in the moment. It made me look through the deer and check out the cardinals that were flying by and the rabbits were jumping over and you know the butterflies or i was and then listening to the witty the woodpecker you know and i'm like this is so much where i want to be

when i'm in the woods like that i just want want to listen to the, I want to listen to what's going on right now. I'll share another quick experience with you. That's similar. I live, now I live in Albany and Lake George is about an hour and a half North. Lake George is this gorgeous, beautiful. It, a 100 years ago it was like the spot for new york city elites to come up and they'd camp and do all this kind of

stuff so it's like got this kind of old world but beautiful it's a it's a really cool place and uh we rented a cabin as like a week vacation even even though it was close, you know, whatever. And a bunch of my, she's now my ex-wife, but a bunch of her family member came in. It was a great experience. And there was a moment where at night, when you look up there, you see 10 bazillion stars, because you're far enough away from any light pollution. And people, other people in the country live in these areas too. But for me in Albany, I can only see a few stars. Like there's not, it's not this starry sky. And you look up and you're like, oh my God, look like it's insane on a, on a cloudless night, what, what you can see. And I had this moment where I thought to myself,

like, imagine, you know, a hundred years ago, 200 years ago, 300 years ago, you didn't have AirPods you could bring with you. Radio didn't exist. Well, I got 100 years ago, you guys 300 years ago, radio doesn't exist, right? You are at all moments, you have to be completely present because there's danger, right? At over the place, everything from animals to other people. You have this vast world of sounds and noises. You have very little control over your light, your lighting situation, right? Maybe you have a campfire, whatever. You have all these inputs from everything from stars to landscape to all this kind of

stuff. None of it has been really cultivated to a certain extent unless you're in one of the few urban areas. And like how much different their brains had to operate and how much more present they were forced to be in every moment than we are today. You can live your entire life today checked out from the present moment, and I think a lot of people do. I was present moment, and I think a lot of people do.

I was going to say, I think a lot of people do. Yeah. Yeah. It was just – it was like – I don't know. I mean I don't know why that came to my head, but just through our conversation, I was like – I just – I had this moment where I was like, oh my god. Like these people had to be – just everything that's going on from – you know, the campfire dies, the wolves come in, right? Like so you're waking up in the middle of night to throw wood on the fire. I mean, there's just, they had to be present

in every moment of every day. And you think of the, the determination and the creativity and all the things that they had to do to survive. And then you contrast that to today, and there is a large portion of our population that lives checked out every moment of every day for almost their entire lives. And it makes me very sad to a certain extent that that's the case. Yeah. Well, because I think, again, because, you know, you become a parent, and most people become a parent. There's no book on how to become a parent. I mean, there's a book on how to become a parent i mean there's a book on how how to nine months pregnancy books i read that none of them tell you the truth every kid's different every parent is different and that parents bring in their experience in

to this new child whatever they teach this new child good or bad that child is going to grow up and we you know relive it and you know it just it just recycles and i think yeah because there's so much more around us social media crazy crazy i did not grow up with it at all um they don't know how to go out in the play you know in the backyard and figure out how to play a game. So I just think because of the combination of all the stuff that we have around us. Yes, we just shut down. And, you know, we were just talking about this last night and friends door dash. Like the city of Buffalo is full of traffic with DoorDash.

My daughter does DoorDash. I'm like, why don't you just go get the groceries and cook the food? Because DoorDash can do it in a second. So like everything is instant gratification. And you can, you know, you don't have to pay attention to the now versus like you just said, you got to keep the fire lit. You got to watch for the dangerous animals. You got to get the food. You're not going to a grocery store back then.

Yeah. You can't call DoorDash. So, yeah, you got to feed your family. They lived in the present. Yeah. Yeah. We saw opposite. Last anecdote on this topic, and then I have one more question that I want to ask you. Uh, this has been tremendous. I was, uh, I'm reading this book now. I'm kind of a big

reader on, uh, it's called first principles and it outlines the first four presidents of the U S and not necessarily, it doesn't tell, it doesn't talk necessarily about them specifically, although it does, it's more about, uh, what, more about what was influencing them to become the people they were. So it's a really good book. I highly recommend it. I think the author's last name is Ricks. I forget his first name, but it's first principles, the name of the book. But in there, to your point, they have this anecdote where one of the early performance reports for George Washington, when he was still fighting with the British before the Revolutionary War was that he had the capacity to continue with adequate performance

during long periods of hunger. So like you think about that, like these guys are traveling, you know, to deliver a message to the French in some outpost and they got to travel for a month to get there. And one of the like I mean, imagine today like you get your performance evaluation from your boss and one of them is can perform adequately when over long periods of hunger. Like they wouldn't eat for days and some people could handle it. Some people couldn't. And I just found that like astounding that like part of his performance evaluation was his ability to continue doing his job despite probably days of hunger at that point. And I just think, you know, we're so disconnected from that. Yeah, totally disconnected. We wouldn't, I don't think we'd survive. No. So, okay. So this has been absolutely phenomenal. And I appreciate you.

I have one final question. And really, this is maybe, we'll end on more of a uplifting note to a certain extent. You know, so many aspiring musicians out there, you've had multiple decades long career spanning multiple different genres. I've been in Nashville.

You've done all these gigs. You've done all these things, created your own album multiple times. And now the most recent one, it's my time. If I'm an, if I'm an inspiring musician and I'm, I'm struggling with the automated beats and the, this, and I'm worried about AI music and all this kind of stuff. What if I was your mentee like what would be your advice to me in finding my unique style my unique voice the the thing that's gonna like pull the best out of me how do i how do i work towards that you know i always thought that was kind of simple to answer but um it's really about knowing yourself it's about loving yourself like we talked about in the beginning. It's about

knowing who you are, staying grounded with who you are, and where your passion is. So if you're trying to imitate someone else because you don't know who you are, the music's going to come out that way. If you're trying to impress someone because that's what they want to hear my best music and i'm still working on it and um i will work on it to the day i die is always something that just comes from my heart whatever's coming from my heart there people are feeling it and if you can't find that authentic self in your own mind and in your desires and your talent, it's not going to come out that way. So that's the bottom line is they just have to figure out who they are,

what they want, and strive for that no matter how many distractions are coming in the way because they will end rejections. And the music is so full of, it's subjective. It's so full of rejections. And if you're not counting on the validations from these people, and if you're just giving of yourself, you just keep doing it. You just keep doing it until the day that you can't do it anymore and i feel like the day you can't do it is when you're not breathing yeah i love that i mean i'm

yes i've been around for a while and i'm not stopping because um i don't know i just i i feel like i'm growing all the time i'm learning more and more yeah i i uh i say this to you so i i told you that you're you heard the thing i coach my kids uh 10 year old baseball a year old baseball and um i tell them all the time and it's this is just like but like so many so many of the people that we admire are imperfect yet. We feel early on, especially early on. And I've put sports as a creative endeavor as much, as much as anything else. We, we look at our,

our imperfections and we're like, Oh, if only, if only. And it's like so many of the best in anything, sports, music, art, it's the, it's the imperfections that we love and it's like if you can love those imperfections that's where the magic is i don't know it just feels you have to love all of yourself because you're not perfect there's no way you are and none of us are but they appear perfect and before social media came out know, you would just see pictures in the magazines and you'd see them on TV and they're in their most perfect pose because cameras on. But you don't see them without their makeup. You don't see them struggling. You don't see the struggle in their own mind of what they're going through. You just see the perfection and you think, well, I'm not like that. No, we're all the same. We just need to, uh, that's another podcast. I'm going

to listen to you, um, yours, um, changing the negative thought. So, and the gentleman that I listened to earlier that I told you about, he said that when the thoughts are coming into mind, you know, you have to learn how to control it. And so we to um when those negative thoughts come in and it's going to happen a lot in music because you're putting yourself out there you're letting someone listen to you and they're going to give you your their opinion and it could hurt but you have to know that you are being who you are and they don't like it. That's fine. So you just have to learn how to when those thoughts come in your head, same thing. Thoughts come in.

Okay, I'm not really crazy about that thought. Why don't we try to change that thought? Why don't we instead of, I heard this one before because I have a lot of land in the back. So I have a lot of land in the back, so I have a lot of weeds in the gardens. And I used to look at it as, oh, my God, I'm going to go get all those weeds out of the garden. It's just so much work. And now I'm like, wait a minute, I have a lot of land.

I'm blessed with land. And once I pull those weeds out, my garden is going to look so much more beautiful like it's just a way and you change your thought and that's not easy especially if you're raised with the negativity then you got to learn how to change those thoughts because you can't stop the thoughts and I did it with my own son like like constantly. I would get the thoughts of, you know, what I saw, what happened. And finally, I had to start working on that too. I had to say, okay, he's not there anymore. You're here on this earth reliving that thought.

He's not. He's not at that place. He's not doing that. He's in a beautiful place where you're going. So let's change our thought. That was the hardest one for me. Deanne DeMeo, this has been phenomenal. I'm so happy that we had a chance to spend time together.

Where can people learn more about you and get the new album? Okay, so first of all, thank you. I was really looking forward to this interview, especially after I listened to your podcast. I need to let others know about it. I love what you do. I've got a lot of books that what you talk about. Oh, thank you so much. I can't remember the title of it. My son actually bought for me before.

It's I can see the red cover. The four letter word is on there. Oh, the subtle art of not giving a fuck. Yeah. Yeah. That's a great one. He gave me that book. And I, you know, I definitely read a lot, but I also put it on audio books. So I listened to it.

Yeah. But yeah, I thank you for having me. And it's such an honor. And my website gives most of it so my website is deannmusic.com which is d-e-e-a-n-n music.com awesome and it gives all the social links it gives my bio and um lots of videos and it'll bring you to my youtube link so I kind of have it all in that one package. I'm on Spotify and Apple Music and Amazon and Pandora and all those different platforms out there.

And those are under DN. It's my time. So if you just Google that, you can get that too. Tremendous. Well, guys, I'll have links in the show notes whether you're watching on youtube or listening wherever you listen to podcasts i'll have uh links to diane's website and i hope you guys will follow along in her journey because the music is great you're wonderful and i appreciate the hell out of you oh i appreciate

you thank you so much. Let's go. Yeah. Make it look, make it look, make it look easy. Thank you for listening to the Ryan Hanley show. Be sure to subscribe and leave us a comment or review wherever you listen to podcasts. Ain't many things for me.

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