The Ryan Hanley Show - From Jail to Navy SEAL: The Rituals That Forge Men Who Won’t Break | Taylor Cavanaugh

Episode Date: July 25, 2025

Join our community of fearless leaders in search of unreasonable outcomes... Want to become a FEARLESS entrepreneur and leader? Go here: https://www.findingpeak.com Watch on YouTube: https://link.ryanhanley.com/youtube Taylor Cavanaugh Website: https://www.taylorcavanaugh.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tcavofficial/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tcavofficial Taylor Cavanaugh’s arc is insanity: jail time, SEAL Team 7 sniper, kicked out, homeless in Hawaii with a sawed-off shotgun—then straight into the French Foreign Legion. His turnaround? Radical ownership (“It’s all my fault—and that’s freeing”), 3:30 A.M. “Hour of the Tiger” mornings, and a relentless focus on micro-wins. We break down the exact rituals that forge men who won’t break—fitness, food, faith, and frequency. If you’re stuck, soft, or slipping, this is your blueprint. Stay in the game. Don’t hang your cleats up. Episodes You Might Enjoy From $2 Million Loss to World-Class Entrepreneur: https://lnk.to/delk From One Man Shop to $200M in Revenue: https://lnk.to/tommymello Is Psilocybin the Gateway to Self-Mastery? https://lnk.to/80upZ9 Recommended Tools for Growth OpusClip: #1 AI video clipping and editing tool: https://link.ryanhanley.com/opus Riverside: HD Podcast & Video Software | Free Recording & Editing: https://link.ryanhanley.com/riverside Magai: All-in-One AI for Professionals: https://link.ryanhanley.com/magai Taplio • Grow Your Personal Brand On LinkedIn: https://link.ryanhanley.com/taplio Kit: Email-First Operating System for Creators (formerly ConvertKit): https://link.ryanhanley.com/kit Episodes You Might Enjoy:From $2 Million Loss to World-Class Entrepreneur: https://lnk.to/delkFrom One Man Shop to $200M in Revenue: https://lnk.to/tommymelloIs Psilocybin the Gateway to Self-Mastery? https://lnk.to/80upZ9

Peace comes from being able to be present in the current moment. You can't be present unless you're proud of your presence because your insecurity, the guy who's walking into a restaurant, right, with his wife or whatever, and he's picking his shirt out of his fat rolls is not present because he's thinking about how other people are perceiving him. A confident man who feels powerful, knows he looks good, or is proud of how he looks is present. He's, when he's communicating with people,

he's not thinking about how they're, he's being perceived. It's a different energy. And we're really, what we're talking about is frequency, the clarity of confidence. You say you need to unlearn years of incorrect programming. Absolutely. I would love for you to start with. How do you become aware that you have incorrect programming?

Yeah. Results. Poor results. I'd say here's the here's the best way to look at it. Look around at your life. If it's not the way you want it. What how you what you what you think you know is fucking not right. Definitely how you're executing it. It's results. Is your life the way you want it to be? If it's not, then you gotta unlearn some shit and learn some new shit

because it's not there. Dude, so I love that you said that. My next question is, because this is something I struggle with, right? So when I'm coaching entrepreneurs or whatever, which is a lot of what I do, I call like my system reality OS, right? Reality operating system, like operating the fucking game that's in front of you, not what you think should happen or what you hope happens if the moon is in the sign of the Aquarius. Like it's laid out in front of you, right? Like you have to play this game. And I really liked that you said that results are how you become aware why do you think so many people are able to or like they they're not getting the results they want right it's smacking them clear in the face they're either overweight or they got a shitty relationship with their spouse or their kids or they're not in a career they want whatever yet they'll continue plowing down the same road over and over and over again. Why do we allow that to happen?

Why doesn't it hit everybody where they go, shit, this isn't what I want. I need to try something different. Honesty hurts. Honesty hurts. Nobody wants to admit that their life is fucked up and what they're doing is wrong. Nobody wants to be wrong in their heart, especially in how they think they understand the world. It's about as deep a cut as you could possibly get.

And so it's the authenticity. It's that, first of all, self-awareness takes in a level of intelligence that is required, right? I always relate intelligence to awareness. Self-awareness, environmental awareness. I don't consider somebody very intelligent if they don't have either one of those. You might be able to read a book and remember some shit, but I don't really count that as intelligent.

So that self-awareness piece, to be self-aware, you have to be honest. And that takes a level of internal work and some pain and some usually external frictions that you're aware of to really kind of force yourself internal to ask yourself these questions. And you bring up a good point of why people keep plowing down the same road. Also change is difficult because you have to actually start rewiring your brain and your muscle patterns and your pathways, your thought pathways and your action pathways. It's a lot of things to unravel. It's quite often when you're getting up, how you're eating, how you communicate, how you interpret the world and move through it, self-talk.

So many things are involved in making major change. And so they'll just keep going because we're biologically wired to stay with what we know. It's beyond the horizon, beyond the mountains, who knows what's over there, right? Sabre-toothed tigers and whatever else. It's at least safe in this cave. We might not have any food and water, but this might be better than the unknown and the fear of uncertainty, right? Which is, I don't know what's over there. And so that's why I think people just stay rooted in their bad habits. There's two other aspects that I want to put past you and see where you land on these as well. Because I agree with everything you said. I think there's two additional pieces.

One is ego. The idea that I'm smart, I went to college, you know, whatever, and that I could possibly be making the wrong decisions. I think that holds people back. And then the last one, I think, is a lot of what we're seeing with like some of this postmodern liberal ideology that people like, you know, that a man can be a woman, that a woman, like, we, reality, you know, if you spend a minute in reality, you know that some of these statements aren't true, right? And that's a political one, but this goes for everything. Yeah, and I agree.

Yeah, we convince ourselves that maybe it's, we feel the need to be good or that we don't wanna stand out or we're worried about being different. And that kind of holds us back as well in these patterns, right? Like if everybody else had got a dad bod, then it's okay for me to have a dad bod because everybody's got a dad bod. That makes it all right, right? Where do you fall on those two?

Dude, the idea of somebody thinks that they're right because they're being good is a very slippery slope. It's where socialism and communism ends up. But the root of it really, it's in this guise of of righteousness, which is fucking dangerous because it clouds people's judgment massively. Well, I'm right because of what I want is, is, is, is good. Fucking yeah, dude, but can we pay for that? It's like, it's very, it's like in the, in the, in the pragmatic view, right? I think pragmatism is massively important because

pragmatism once again requires a, a stripping away of ego and biasness in a biased view, you have to see things for what they are. I saw a great quote today. I, there's a Phil Stitz, I think is his name. He wrote a book called Lessons for Living. And I was kind of reading through this book today for a piece of it. And he says, he's talking about being judgmental

and have him being wrapped in ego. He goes, a realist isn't judgmental. And I thought about this term and how he was saying it was that because if you're judgmental, it's that you're judging how you think reality should be. Right, you're not accepting reality on reality's terms. So you're judging it by how you think it should be versus just how it is.

Bro, and I love that. I go, you can just sit back and see things as they are, not as they should be. It, it gives you a level of clarity that you can't have any other way. So it really takes from how that's exactly right. Right. Wrapped up in ego. How, how I think the world should be. Fucking that's pretty fucking egotistical. Yeah, I really like that idea around judgment.

It's funny, the other day I was walking into, or going to a meeting with a colleague, and he said, hey, don't be a dick in the meeting. And I was like, first of all, I didn't know that that's how we were classifying me. I go second of all, what exactly do you mean? And he's like, well, not everybody likes to hear things exactly as they are.

And I kind of tilted my head at him for a second. And I understood what he meant. You know, I wasn't, it wasn't appropriate to push it at that time. You know, I got what he meant. You know what I wasn't, and it wasn't appropriate to push it at that time. You know, I got what he meant. You know what I mean? Like dial it down a little where necessary. Okay, got it. But I kind of went to him afterwards

and I said, you know, man, meeting went fine or whatever. And I'm like, hey, I want you to talk to me a little bit about what you said before we went in. And he goes, well, you know, it's not that I don't think you're a dick or whatever. He's like, but he's like, you tend to kind of just call things on there, you know, it's not that I don't think you're a dick or whatever. He's like, but he's like, you tend to kind of just call things on there, you know, as as they are.

And not everybody likes that. And I and I he goes, a lot of people, you know, some people can feel judged by that. Yeah. And it was a really interesting comment because like I've I have found myself like saying to people like, here's what I see. I'm not judging that this is what you decided to do, but this is what's happening because of what you did, right? And it hit me that, like, a lot of people don't view the world that way. Like, it's judge, judge, judge, judge here, judge there, and their comments come out of judgments where,

if you try to live just with what it is, it's like, he's got a backwards hat on, he's got tattoos, he's got a plant next. Like, I'm not judging that you chose to wear the hat or have a plant behind you. It's just what's happening. You know what I mean? Like, that piece of our society, I feel like, is something that the last 20 years or so, we've lost so much of that. I feel like when I was growing up, my dad could just be like, that swing you just took sucked.

And I'd be like, yeah, yeah, I did. Yeah. That wasn't my best. Yeah. Yeah. That sucked. Yeah. I didn't, I didn't do my best on that one. Now you say that to a kid, he's going to have a full emotional breakdown and his mom's gonna jump the fence and shove his anus in his face because he can't handle hearing that what he did was wrong. And that to me feels like so many of the problems. Like I look at the work you do and researching everything that you're into, like it's almost as if everyone just kind of lived in reality, they wouldn't even need guys like us. Like we wouldn't have jobs because,

but there's like needs to be someone out there who can see it and tell it. So when you have people coming to you and they're struggling to connect, how do you get them back to getting these two levels of awareness that you brought up, which I really love? Self-awareness and environmental awareness. How do you begin teaching that to people? So I'm going to add a little layer of texture to what you said, because I think it was important

is in that understanding of reality, we also have to understand how other people interpret our information. And so I always say, right, we can say it because it's true, but is it the most artistic and diplomatic way, because really, what's the point of communication? To get done what we're trying to get done, to convey the message. If it's clouded by how they feel some type of way,

whether it be wrong or right, right, and you and I both lie on the same point of that as people need to get thicker skin, which I'm gonna hit on in a minute, is now they're shutting down and they're not listening to the actual message, right? So there's like that, there's that nice balance, there's that artistry in the communication,

which I think is important. And that's part of this environmental awareness, right? Being self-aware enough to know we can come across crass and be environmentally aware enough to know we can come across crafts and be environmentally aware enough to know how these people might interpret the information. So it's like there's this even balance. Now, going into what you were speaking about specifically, there's really two roots of psychosis. What things are dealing with now, the anxiety, the depressions and all, it's

pain avoidance and comfort seeking. Pain avoidance, right? People don't want to hear honesty. They don't want to hear truth. They also in their daily lives seek, seek to find pleasure and immediate gratification and all these things and all these things turn us into cupcakes. They turn kids into cupcakes. Dude, when we, I'm not sure, I'm probably a little bit older than you, but we probably come from a similar, dude, we're outside riding bikes, building ramps, crashing, right? Like that's what they were doing. Have you looked around a lot of neighborhoods? Have you been driving around? You don't see any kids outside, man.

You don't see kids outside. They're not playing outside. I don't see kids building ramps and shit. They're inside playing outside. I don't see kids building ramps and shit. They're inside watching screens and I know this has hit on a lot but also how the parents are communicating. I'm not saying you got to beat your kids but you can be harsh on your kids. I think it's needed right and they're not outside hurting themselves crashing all these things and so when they grow up now you spoke to them too aggressively right now? Now they can't hear the message in just the very clear. So now there's all this padding corporately, which we see, HR departments,

how many people are getting called in because they said a bad joke. It's inefficient in massive capacities, inefficiencies everywhere. And it really boils down to people are not striving to do the hard thing. Not getting up early, not working out, not eating correctly, whether it doesn't they don't like because of how it tastes. It's like small things like that, which really over a lifetime turn somebody into a Michelin man cupcake or somebody of substantial constitution.

To me, this is something I've really struggled with. So I'm probably older than you think, I'm 44. You look great, Brad. What you're doing is working. At least I figured a couple things out. No, and it's probably all the same shit that you do. The difference is I didn't go through war. That's one part. So that's a big part of it. I almost did. I got recruited

by the Navy and decided to play baseball instead of joining the Navy, which that decision we could toss up. But all that being said, one of the things that I really struggle with is like, so I came from tiny little town, 900 people in the middle of nowhere, 12 years old, I vividly remember like walking around my town going like, I have to get the fuck out of here. Like this can't be my life, right? Like every male role model in my life is either an alcoholic or, you know, into drugs or life's going nowhere. And I'm looking around going, you know, for whatever reason, blessed by God, whatever you want to call it. I had this thought, I

got to get out of here. So that was like my life goal to get out. But in getting out, they did do a lot of like hard shit. I had to eat shit in different scenarios. I had to, you know, get my fucking dick knocked into dirt multiple times, whether it was through sports or trying to, coming from a tiny town and going to a big school, all these different things. Okay, no like family backing. I didn't come from money. My parents weren't getting me a job.

Okay, so now you come up against people and now I'm in a corporate environment, say 15, 20 years ago, And I'm like this head down, what do you need to do? And you're coming up against these other people that are like, and they look at me and I get labeled as intense. I get labeled as all these different things. Okay. And I have never been able to calibrate,

why do you not want to be intense? Like I get that there's a certain level of intensity that isn't always appropriate. I'm not saying like, you know, but I'm saying like that driven desire to get better. How do you, how does someone, cause a lot of the people that listen to this show are like me and you dude, right?

People don't continue to listen to this show if they're just kind of like limping by or they don't want to get better. Yeah. How does someone who has that mentality, how do they integrate into our world when we are surrounded by so many people who just simply don't understand the desire to constantly get better? This is a question I get a lot and I'm very interested in your take on it. Yeah. How do I be me? Not me specifically, but this individual who's ambitious, intense, driven, committed, maybe a little crass, maybe a little swinging conservative, my views probably believe in some form of religion, God, Christian, whatever.

How do I integrate with this like secular kind of like door dash society and actually integrate and do well and not piss every fucking person around us off. Yeah, I would say accurately navigate. Don't integrate because integration integration is, is, is becoming it becoming part of. I have zero interest in becoming part of this. Uh, and like people that just don't think like we do. It's because there's a nature and a nurture piece, right? You have the nature paired with the nurture as far as environmental, right? But you know, you were put in a situation you had to become.

You also potentially had a God seed of ambition planted in you. So don't ever don't anybody dull your shine, right? And I get the kind of the chills because society is meant, hey, man, fit in, just don't don't burn too bright. Don't make somebody else feel some type of way because you're willing to do get there earlier and work harder and be more intense. Now bring it down a little bit, bring it down to their level so everybody can play at the same level. Nah, man, it's a gift.

It's an absolute gift from God. And so it's, but we have to accurately navigate, right? We can't ruffle too many feathers, right? There's a strategy to it. And so it's like be smart enough to accurately do it and say, but don't ever seek to integrate. I'm sure there's parts of times in my life where I thought that that was probably the thing to do.

And then I realized that that's not what set me apart though. Quite the opposite, right? It's the fact that I different that made that allowed gave me at the edge, gives us the edge and people listening. The edge is the intensity. You can't, they say this in the SEAL teams, bro, you can't teach aggression. Can't teach it.

You're born with it or you don't have it. But you can train it. You need somebody aggressive and then hone it. You don't wanna have to mush somebody. That can't be taught. And so I'd rather be that aggressive and that intensity and then rein it in and hone it.

So it's like a laser beam rather than, you know, oh, well, I guess I'll just kind of dull it a little bit and work like Fred next to me. That, you know, Leighton does nine to five, punches out and splits his pitcher. Oh my God, no, not doing that. Yeah. One of the biggest awakenings for me was the first time I ever

had an executive position, maybe 1213 years ago. And I had some team members who were ambitious, aggressive, hard charging that I had team members who were just show up. They, they, they hit their job. But once their job once their job was done, lights which went off, they were, you they were kind of in coast mode. And I was talking to a mentor about it, and I'm like, I don't understand, I wanna raise these people up, up, up, up.

And he goes, dude, not everybody wants that. Like, there's a lot of people out there that they punch the clock so they can live after, right? And that's what they want. Or they just simply don't ever want to experience hard. Like I always thought, like maybe people didn't understand that they were capable or, you know, and he was really clear to me that like,

he's like, there are some people, and unfortunately I think our society is telling more and more people this mentality is okay, that I think there are some people that just simply do not desire hard. They look at us being fit. They look at us talking about ambition, growing companies, you know, making real change. And they're just like, yeah, I don't want any of that. Yeah. And that was like a really hard thing for me to wrap my head around. And I think it is for a lot of people where they're like, I don't understand. I'm trying to pull you along. Why don't you want to come?

Like, I don't get it. And it's a really hard thing for leaders, I think. And to your point, I think especially from a leadership perspective, there's this idea of like, you know, everybody needs to be treated equal in an organization, right? And when I'm coaching a leader or a founder, whatever, I tell I think that's completely wrong. I think we have I think there should be catered bands inside your company, ABC players, right? And they don't all get the same benefits, schmuggies. They don't all get the same treatment, you know? Yeah. Like a high performer, if you try to manage a high performer, like you manage your B or C players, that high performer is going to leave.

Yeah. Like they don't want any part of that. They want- Yeah, 100%. That's a little special treatment. Yeah, it's very interesting. So, okay. I actually now want to pivot back and go into your story a little bit because you have a fucking awesome, just crazy story. So maybe, obviously I'm not a very good podcast host because usually you start at the beginning, but I don't like doing that. I like this flow way better. Yeah, I'd like to go back now

and give people a little bit of the bones of where you developed your mentality. By the way, this quote, accurately navigate, don't integrate is fucking brilliant. Thanks, man. I want to give people the bedrock of where you came out of this mentality and what kind of sculpt you into this person who lives the life that you live today. Yeah, man. I appreciate that. That's, well, I appreciate you for kind of painting the scene for that,

because I hadn't really thought about that, you know, quite the difference. There is absolutely a difference of integration and actually, but us being able to move through this place in a professional way and successfully, more importantly. Right, so yeah, man, the 30,000 foot overview. Yeah, decent childhood sports, had some trouble in my youth. It was difficult to get into the military just from legal perspective and some tattoos and things,

but had to go to jail after college to kind of clean up some stuff. And, but I got into the Navy, went through SEAL training. Was that SEAL team sevenper, JTAC, Advent-laden Specialist, which was like low profile, low visibility operations, deployed to Iraq, Yemen. Had some legal troubles in the SEAL teams that ended up kind of culminating. After about seven years, I was there. Had to go back to jail, do some time. I got kicked out for performance enhancing drugs,

technically, right? That's what I got kicked out for. Zero tolerance from the, right? That's what I got kicked out for. Zero tolerance from the Navy perspective. The SEAL teams tried to protect me, but once Big Navy Jag wants her ass, you're toast, man. And got into the civilian world, free and clear, right? I took a general discharge and started in residential real estate development. We had a lot of successful years, 19 million in gross sales and was learning drinking from a fire hose. Had an opportunity when cannabis became legal.

We started a cannabis distribution company. So doing all those pieces, but during that time I really built a lot of bad habits. I had no governor on now and I really hadn't addressed the self-worth issue. And that's really, I was doing these things, band-aids, CEO, fucking Navy Seal, like all these things put a band-aid on me but I was taking Adderall every day, Xanax, alcohol, weed, still performing. That's how I could lie to myself. Right? I got the house by the beach and the

girlfriend I'm like, nobody can tell me shit, right? Ego, 1000%. And I lacked self-awareness on a massive scale. I wasn't seeing it from the perspective of speed wobbles, right? Ego, 1000% and I lack self-awareness on a massive scale. I wasn't seeing it from the perspective of speed wobbles, right? The relationship starts to get choppy, you know, you're missing meetings now that you weren't missing. It's like, and I snacked on a OP8 and a fentanyl habit at the end of the year, right? So I'm doing all these things daily and but still performing, raising capital capital pitching decks for millions of dollars doing all these things working in a high rise for a venture capitalist but all came crashing down as it does when you try to juggle this many balls of fire and I find myself in Hawaii homeless in my truck waiting for that call you know the next opportunity

that always kind of came and it didn't come. And so I'm there, look at my bank account, got six bucks, have a sawed off shotgun next to me. This was about two years and some change. So the time I had gotten out of the Navy to this point. So a lot happened pretty quickly. And I realized I was just purposeless.

I had no money now, no title, no nothing. I was completely isolated, like native, just like in the jungle, thinking about killing myself. And luckily God spoke to me, had a moment of clarity, which was like, hey, is that the legacy you're gonna leave? I thought about my mom, my sister, all these decisions, all this reality is your fault. That finally could, I finally got honest and I go,

oh, all this, it's not anybody else. It's all these decisions were mine that brought me to this reality. And that was actually very freeing. So I was like, all right, well, I'm not going to do that by my own hand, but if I'm going to, you know, if I'm going to die anyway, then I'm at least do it in an honorable way with my boots on. And I had known about the Foreign Legion for some years now. And I decided I was gonna pick my pen back up and write an amazing story. I'd never heard of a Navy SEAL going on the French Foreign Legion.

And so eight days later, pretty much, or a week and some change, I was in France knocking on the door and spent about a half decade in the French Foreign Legion to point to South America. We've done doing stuff with NATO on the Russian border and internal domestic missions of France and yeah and then got out and that was about I've only been home for about 18 months. I got back to the United States about 18 months ago but that was really the path of about

11 and a half 12 years through that process in the military and of the path of a lot of lessons learned the hard way it's really it was in the Foreign Legion that I really started to develop my the importance of date of ownership frequency management right that I really started to understand the power of daily habits and clear morality and choices and decisions I should say. And that's really what I walk with today. You said something, you said, when it's all your fault, it's freeing.

Can you break that down a little more for us? Yeah, I felt this weight lift off me when I realized that everything that had happened was because of all these small decisions I made all these small decisions the money I spent this or that whether I had been wronged in business or right it doesn't didn't matter I went into business with the person it's my fault so I was like look and you know somebody steals from you in your business you hired them them. Right? And so by that point, we re-empowered because anything external of us were giving power away to.

Whether it be, oh, my ex-wife did this and so on. That's why I'm in this situation. You married her, man. Right? And so it's like, so pick better next time. It's small things that we just go, oh, if it's all my fault, then I have all the power to fix it. That was really, that was really, because it's what's more important is how we fix it.

How do we correct the ship? So when I went, oh, I'm going to grab control by life, it's nobody else's fault. So therefore it's all my fault. It's all my responsibility to fix it. Then I just move forward with that. And a lot of things started to clear up. It also simplifies everything. And if it's all, you're not worried about what any,

what other inputs are. It also just makes you a lot more aware of who you engage with. Cause if it's your fault, then be careful. I think that that is some of the best advice that you, we can give anybody at any age. Dude, it's funny. You're talking and remove the military part and a lot,

and I haven't been to jail yet. No, there's a lot of similarities in the struggle to the all your fault. Mine was more like my inability to prop, to accurately navigate through corporate scenarios got me fired from three consecutive jobs. Yeah. Yeah, you like to shake the tree there.

Yeah, executive position, fired, executive position, fired, executive position, fired three times in a row. And I'm going, what the fuck? Egotistical, you know, CEOs and it's this and they don't understand me. And I had a similar clarity moment that I can only say came to me through through through God or divine inspiration because I was like, I chose to take that job. I've chose to work for three insecure CEOs. I chose, you know, to be in these positions. And positions and it's amazing.

And I'm just doubling into your point. It's a hundred percent accurate that when you, it sucks. Cause now you're looking in the mirror going, I'm the one that did this to me. I'm the one that put me in this position. But to your point, man, when you can embrace that, all of a sudden you're like, yeah, but I also now can do whatever I want.

Like I get to choose what I want to do. Who do I want to be? Do I want to be, you know, what kind of dad do I want to be? What kind of partner slash spouse do I want to be? What, you know, who, what kind of leader do I want to be? But, you know, what kind of change do I want? And you can actually control those. It's hard as shit. It's way harder than just blaming people, right? That's the easy path. That easy path, yeah. But you also, this is the other thing that I find really interesting and I'm interested in how you deal with this. So I had somebody one time tell me, actually it was my ex-wife specifically, she said, she's like, why don't you just level out a little bit is what she said, right?

She's like, you ride every high and every low and you ride them. And I was like, yeah, I do. And she said, well, yeah, wouldn't your life be easier if you just played more in the middle? And I was like, I think she's right. It would be easier. Except you don't get to experience the high highs if you're not also willing to experience the low lows. If you play it even, it's not like you get to play it even and you just get the highs. That's not the way that it works. It's like the amplitude of your high, you have to be willing to accept that that's an equal amplitude that Yeah. Go low. Yeah.

You know, how do you ride those waves? So when you're now you're in a great place, right? You have a much better framework. You're teaching other people how to live a good, you know, successful life. You're training people through your programs and stuff that you have. How do you manage now as a healthier individual, emotionally and mentally, when you have that great day and then comes the bad day, how do you keep yourself, here's the question, how do you keep yourself

from falling back into the old patterns that got you in trouble today? Yeah, yeah, that's a really good question. So now the stakes are raised, right? I'm engaged, I have a baby, we got, you know, Pertz is a beautiful house, you know, and it's uh, so now the stakes are raised right we have the you know

Great business day and we have the bad one and now now I'm starting to find but Nothing changed. I still keep the exact same morning process as I did in the French foreign legion barracks room making $1,500 a month in the cold ass, you know, barracks in France as I do now in my house on the golf course, the gated community in the master bath at three 30 in the morning, right? Four in the morning, every day. Don't miss a day. Doesn't matter if it's a day off, it's a day on, it's a bad day, it's a good day. Every day I do it because it's like my route. It's a little prayer, little gratitude, little movement,

a little centering yourself, a little visualization, 20 minutes, right? Nothing crazy. Not some two hour biohacking bullshit, just something simple. That's what keeps me grounded as far as keeping the momentum in the framework, right? Of I don't care. I'm not changing what I do if it's a bad day or a good day. Also in business, if I have a really bomb ass day or a really shot that nothing changes in my day, I do nothing different. It's all the same.

I don't adjust, I don't change. I've been doing that for almost two years now and it's worked great because I don't adjust to the market. No, I know it works and I know what I think in my heart is clear. So that helps me. And habits too, biases, right? It's letting myself feel the low.

That was something that I fucked up before and I really fumbled is I did not like, that's that pain avoidance, right? I get the chills when I think about it. I was emotionally in a bad place before and so I started taking opiates. It wasn't like, cause I got in a car accident. I liked how they made me feel.

And so they kind of numbed it and it was kind of like an antidepressant. So I was taking them and I felt better. And it's cause I didn't want to feel the pain. The emotional pain of having lost the steel teams or lost the girlfriend or whatever it was. Now I just, I don't reach for the drink. I don't reach for this.

My daily habits are good and clear. And I'm like, look, if it's a bad day, I don't reach for the drink. I don't reach for this. My daily habits are good and clear. And I'm like, look, if it's a bad day, I'm gonna feel it. I'm not gonna die. I'll be all right. But at least it's the pain that teaches you something. The good days, you don't learn shit. We all know we don't learn shit from the wins. That's the truth.

Maybe what to do a little bit, but really we learn from the losses. So we gotta, if we don't feel those losses, all those lessons go away. All the lessons go away. And so, and also here's the other piece that I, that I, and I'll kind of turn over to you on this one is the celebration, the celebratory self-sabotage is what I would, when I was feeling good, oh, let's ride it out and do this or that and kind of, and I would self-sabotage is what I would, when I was feeling good, oh, let's ride it out and do this or that, and kinda, and I would self-sabotage on the highs.

So now I'm not feeling the lows, I'm sabotaging on the highs. So I'm fucking myself from both angles. And so I was like, look, I'm not gonna celebrate massively on the highs, and I'm not gonna try to drown myself on the lows. I'm just gonna feel both. What do they feel like?

And just try not to maintain my battle rhythm. Nice in the middle. Do we click on so many levels on these things? So I get a lot of guys that reach out to me that are going through divorce. Cause I got divorced three years ago. Oh yeah. And I had a lot of people go,

geez, you seemingly navigated that really well. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And blessed in so much as my ex-wife and I weren't necessarily meant to be together. We're very different people, but we also don't hate each other. Yeah, reasonable.

So thank God for that, right? Yeah. Because there are situations that are far worse. That being said, this idea of experiencing the low, of allowing yourself to go down that path and feel that pain, I think is so foreign to so many people. And also not talked about enough. Like I absolutely love that you brought that up.

Like I got chills when you said that, cause I was like, one of my biggest pieces of advice that I give to people who contact me for whatever reason about some shitty thing is always like, like letting if you if you don't let it pass through you, it doesn't go away. You're just you're just you're divorce pain, you're getting lost my job pain, divorce pain, you know, out of shape pain, whatever pains you have, they all just come crashing in if you don't. But if you let them go through you and you experience it in the moment and forever, whatever, you know, one, you get past it so much quicker, right? Yeah.

You go from it being months or years of your life to maybe days or even hours. And two, it doesn't stack. You don't have this like ticking time bomb of pain waiting to dump on you, which is when you go down the path, you start picking up the drugs or whatever your vice of choice is.

And man, nobody talks about that. Like I never hear anybody talk about that topic. And I'm so glad you brought that up. And for you guys listening, like this can even be little things like a key employee leaves or a customer that you've had for years decides they're gonna go with somebody else and that hurt.

Even those things that aren't necessarily like life-changing. Like if you just block it, again, it stacks and stacks. And then you go home and you spout off at your kids for no reason and you don't even understand why you're yelling at them. And it's because you didn't allow yourself that pain. It's, you're going to experience it eventually. And man, I love that you brought that up, dude.

Nobody, nobody talks about that. Nobody. The man's getting paid. The man's getting paid the man's getting paid dude if you delay pain consider it a loan deferred and you're gonna pay for it with interest. Yeah. It's coming back man so you better start paying that interest down that paying that principal down just pay it off let it feel it let it sit with it it's okay to sit with something quite literally sit with it. It's okay to sit with something. Quite literally, sit with it. I agree. So my morning routine involves,

like I like to ingest ideas and write. So those are my two big things in the morning. I tend to be an afternoon exerciser for whatever reason, just the way my bio works. I'm similar. Yeah, in the mornings I tend to be more like, I do like to cold plunge. I do like to do that like as a bio hack thing. You're a better man than I. I do it because I hate it so much.

People are like, I can't believe you cold plunge. It's right there. I'm like, I do it because I hate it because every morning I stare at that tank and I don't want to get in. Every morning, I've been doing it for years. Every morning I still don't want to get in. Okay, pass that. So a lot of guys listen to the show, and I know a lot of them get stuck on where to start this journey.

They want to get better. Maybe they're doing a few things good, but they know they have more inside them. But they're not sure where to start. I get that question a lot. Where do I start? Someone comes to you, they honestly, honestly want to get better,

but they don't know where to start. How do you, again, this is generalized, so take it where you want, but how do you get them going? How do you get them started down the path? First thing I do is I ask them their schedule. What's your schedule? And immediately, almost 99% of people I go get up earlier. A lot earlier. Not like, you know, I'm getting up at six or five. No, get up at 330. Set it early. Why? Because it

sucks. It sucks. And there's no magic there. But there is. The samurai called 330 in the morning hour of the tiger, right? A man is most aligned with his purpose at 3.30 in the morning. It's a very powerful time. Also, they call it God's hours in the morning. There's less friction in the air, three to four, five, six in the morning. It was very powerful. There's an energy in the air at that time.

And also, I think you can receive very clear downloads. Also for the simple fact that most of the time, most people in your house aren't up yet. Men need time to sit and think. You're not strategizing when you're driving in the car and there's something is honking and you're in the day it's just too much shit going on. Sitting with your thoughts. I always tell them no phone, no email, no news. Be deliberate about not not being reactive in the morning. A deliberate morning process morning process not watching the news drinking your coffee But sitting with thought some gratitude some prayer whatever still philosophy something to bump the frequency up a little movement little visualization

I always say start there because then that gets you momentum say they already already doing something like that Right say they already doing something like that then I immediately move into the body the fitness because these are the easy buttons How are you eating? Almost always somebody's diet can be tightened up. I have them start tracking their macro nutrients, right? Why? They go, I hate tracking macros. Good, then you should fucking do it, right?

Because it sucks. And it's easy once you start doing it. We get them a little bit tighter, slight caloric deficit, up earlier. Now they're starting to grab hold and being very deliberate about their day. And the momentum just picks up from there to the goal setting, to the to the other pieces, the more the more important ones, the relationships and all about those pieces.

How you so in not in a vain way. But I found that how you feel when you look at yourself in the mirror plays such a, such a, physically how you look plays such a huge role in not just men, women as well, but I think particularly for how men engage with the world, right? Yeah. When you like wake up and you can see like a little cut on your arm. Yeah. Maybe you got a little V cut, maybe a big abs, an abs popping through and you wake up and you can see a little cut on your arm. Maybe you got a little V cut, maybe a big abs, an abs popping through and you're like,

oh, like shit, I'm in my 40s and I look all right. I'm doing okay, you want more, right? And now you're like, oh, if I can look good, wait, now my wife, now she wants to have sex with me. I don't know how to hunt her down and hope I get 15 minutes on a random Thursday. You know what I mean? Like, she's actually kind of... And people respond to me differently. They want to be around me more, right? Like, it's... But we... Why do you think so many people avoid the physical side?

Like, they... Everybody wants to go to some meditation thing or the secret book that gives you all the answers. And it's like, if you're, if you feel like a slob, and that can be relative to however you look, if you feel like a slob, it doesn't matter how many meditative retreats you go on, you're still going to look at yourself in the mirror and feel bad. So why do you think it is we struggle to focus on our physicality and beyond like macros and stuff, how do you get guys motivated into like what are some easy wins guys can do to start to sculpt their body maybe if they're not a big gym guy? Yeah man that's a really important point. So what do they teach you at all these meditation retreats right?

Being present. Be present. And I do think a lot of peace comes from being able to be present in the current moment. You can't be present unless you're proud of your presence, because your insecurity, the guy who's walking into a restaurant, right, with his wife or whatever, and he's picking his shirt out of his fat rolls, is not present, because he's thinking about how other people are perceiving him. A confident man who feels powerful, knows he looks good, or is proud of how he looks is present. He's looking at, when he's communicating with people, he's not thinking about how he's

being perceived. It's a different energy. And really what we're talking about is frequency, the clarity of confidence, the clarity of feeling good in your skin, man. Also in a religious way, people will dive into religion, but completely in gluttony. How does that make sense?

Show up at the pearly gates with a bag of trash hanging from your front, dude. You're like, hey, I'm here. Nah, man, you miss the mark, right? You're missing a major piece to tap into a God frequency. Why do you think they talk about fasting so much in all these religions? Caloric deficit is massively important, right? So you're not in this caloric surplus all the time.

So I digress as far as that it's massively important and why people don't do it. It's just fucking uncomfortable. Hard. And it, it's massively important and why people don't do it, it's fucking uncomfortable. And it also, it's ego. Ego wants results fast. It needs results fast so it's fed. Real change takes a long time. For someone to totally recomposition their body if they're way out of shape could take years. So you have to be okay with the incremental micro win and that's a lot of what I teach people is staying in the game and being and understanding what a micro win is right and understanding that it's the path it's the journey and not the destination quite that that old adage it's so very true it's like feeling good about I do these things

because it makes me feel good not because of the results it gets me and then what if you fall in love with the result of with the path next thing, you know, you got ass What do you know, right and that guy's gonna win every time. So how do I get people to kind of? Get change. It's a massage thing first I figure out what they're eating and I don't like change I don't like telling them what to eat which is why macronutrients are very helpful because if you But I could I could tell anybody eat this broccoli and this chicken and fucking do this for the rest of your life. Yeah but who's gonna do that? It's no understanding what the answers

to the test so you know how to bend them. That's why macros are important when you understand oh man no wonder you're not getting gains this has a ton of fat in it right it just are you always gonna measure your food and shit fuck no but you can do a lot in a few months or six months or a year and know how to intuitively eat for the rest of your life It's just, are you always gonna measure your food and shit? Fuck no, but you can do a lot in a few months or six months or a year and know how to intuitively eat for the rest of your life. And so that's a massively important part. And you don't need to go to the gym.

A lot of guys I work with don't go to the gym. I get them walking, move it. I go movement minded is it. A lot of, I have, I work with guys who hate the gym. I go, good, don't go to the gym. You do some light calisthenics in your house. You do some light calisthenics and move 10,000 steps a day or get your walks in with your family or incorporate your family and doing stuff outside and you eat well, you're going to be in good shape. You do that for long

enough. You don't need to be a bodybuilder. Most of the guys who I work with don't have desire for that. They just want to look better and feel better. And so I go, all right, well, let's start doing that. Let's start moving more and eating less. For the most part, that's the start. Guys, if you're in a place, pause right now. I want you to go back to this idea that Taylor just shared, which I think it just encapsulates so much of everything you've said and so much we've talked about today.

You can't be present if you're not happy with your presence. Yeah. Think about it. Like that is such an idea. I mean, that is so freaking powerful. Yeah. Because we are, this idea of being present is a superpower. I think a lot of people don't focus on it, but those who do oftentimes struggle to be present, right? That's the next thing you hear. Be like, I know I need to be present, but I struggle with it.

And it's like, because exactly what you just said, dude, there's, you're not, you might be trying to be present, but at the same time you're going, can she tell that I got a roll down here? Does he, you know, my hairline's receding and I'm, I haven't dealt with that yet or whatever, you know I'm you know whatever your issue is right if you're unhappier or geez you got some

some skeletons in your closet you're cheating on your spouse or some shit well said that shit fucking eats on you and you yeah I dude that is such a powerful quote it is unbelievable like yeah I love that so much it that is it it really defines why we can't get into the present moment, why we can't be there, why your wife is trying to, your partner, whoever, your kid is trying to share their day with you and you're thinking about 17 other things.

Instead of just being in that moment for 15 minutes to let them barf their day on you, because all they want you to do is understand what's going on in their world, because that's connection and relationship, and you can't be there and it's like yeah that's a that's a you issue not your schedule it's not it's you aren't happy with you man dude that's some powerful shit that is you hit a point on moral clarity ryan i really want to touch on

because we were talking about the physical body, but the presence in moral clarity. Man, I'm getting a lot of chills on our conversation because that's really, it's, it's man, were you looking at weird porn all night and so you're standing there and now your energies are frequencies off and now you're not a little present or you've been, you know, cheating and so you got the text going and now you're thinking, oh, where's my phone? It's the mind, all those are all those is your misalignments. It's the authentic voice of God telling you, hey man, these are the things that are, they don't need to be stressed about just to dress them and fix them. That's it.

When you listen to that authentic voice of God and you click these things in, you simplify and you streamline, which is a lot of what I beat the drum about is simplify and streamline what you do, how you move, what you eat, how you think. Those things, when you click those into place, the level of clarity and inner peace and being present in the moment, that's when it hits, when you're aligned. Dude, do you ever have this day understanding where you've been, I've been similar places, different but similar, where you're like, I'm smoking pot to land the ship. I'm, you know, taking Adderall in the morning to get myself going. You know, whatever, you know, maybe watching porn to feel better for a few

minutes or whatever you're, whatever you're like, instead of optimizing my life to feel good all the time with good things, optimizing the shitty things to fill the gaps in the places that I'm not optimized, right? And you're like, Dan, that's what that's a good point. Dude, that fucking clicked for me one day where I was like, because I got into this bad habit for a while when I was going through some things where, dude, I was on the scene. It was Adderall in the morning to get me going. Yeah. And it was pot at the end of the night to land the ship.

That's how I justified it, to land the ship. Yeah, yeah, you fly it. Right? And I'm like, and one day I was like sitting there and this is crazy. I'm, I'm, I'm high on the, as a kite sitting on the couch by myself, you know, sitting there going, what the fuck am I doing? Like instead of just going to bed, getting up and working out, I'll feel amazing in the morning.

I'm gonna be up watching some stupid TV high and then take Adderall in the morning to try to get myself to the place where I can function at my height. Like what the fuck am I doing? Like it literally hit me one day where I was like, you are optimizing the wrong things. Like if you just optimize for the good things, you would feel good all the time. Yeah.

That, and it was like, it hit me and it made so much sense. And I was like, oh my God, like, why did it take me 42 years to figure this out? Yeah. It's crazy. Like that we, if you just did the things you, you know, these simple things Why did it take me 42 years to figure this out? Yeah. It's crazy. Like that we, if you just did the things, you know, these simple things, they don't have to be hard, right?

Like the first thing I did when I was, when I was pulling my, I kind of, in 2017, I had a health scare and that's what really started me on my, my personal improvement journey, right? I was an athlete, got to about 25, was as fit as can be, playing some baseball after college, good job, and then from 25 to say, however old I was in 2017, 36, 37, I just kind of let myself go. And I had kids and I was married and made all the excuses, right? Yeah, yeah. And I was, and then I had this health scare because I let myself go physically to the point

where like I literally passed out at a conference I was supposed to be speaking at. Damn. Yes. So I was like that will never happen again and I went on this journey. It was great. Got myself fit, dropped 20 pounds, felt like an absolute stud, performing at my highest level. Then I had those couple bad situations where I got fired a few times, right? Now all of a sudden I go back into, woe is me, why is God doing this to me, why is God doing all this stuff? And I went back down into the cycle. And the first thing I did to pull myself out was I bought a weighted vest and I just started going for walks.

Bro, genius. That's all I did. Smart. I just started going for walks with a weighted vest. And like, it's a simple, it could be something else for someone else, but just picking that one singular thing and saying, every morning, regardless of how I feel, I'm going for an hour long weighted vest walk and I'm just going to go do this. And then that turned into, oh, I can come home and do a few pushups. And then, oh, I can do a few pushups

and do some other stuff. Oh wait, I can read before I go for my walk, then go for my walk. And like, but what I didn't do, and I think this is the problem, and you've mentioned this a few times and it's a big part of your work is this, what I didn't do that I did the first time

was I didn't put a timetable on it. I didn't say like, by this date, I have to be here. So then when you miss, you feel that pressure of, oh, shit, I missed, I'm fucked, I'm off my thing. It was just that incremental improvement. So like, you know, I kind of asked this a little bit, but maybe more as advice to those listening, like when you step off that path for a second, right?

How do you advise your people getting back on? Is it like a don't miss twice kind of thing? Is it a grace? Like what is your, you're really good at framing these thoughts. So like how do you frame getting back on the path when you step off before you start going back to your old habits?

Yeah, I say, dude, don't let predictable things surprise you. My buddy at team six is a team lead on team six. He says that to his guys before they go on ops that are gonna suck. He's like, it's gonna be cold. We're going in the mountains. It's gonna suck.

I don't wanna hear complaining. So don't let predictable things surprise you. And I really liked that. And he says, how I frame it for guys who are working with, I go, guess what? You're going to fail. Just plug it in here. You're going to fail.

You're going to fail once. You'll probably fail twice. Probably fail more than that. I don't give a shit. It's understanding that you are going to fail. None of this is perfect. I'm not perfect. It's not going to be perfect.

The situation is not. You're going to fail days. So just go, well, you know, yep, I fucked that one up. All right, let me get right back on it. Let me, let me fix this. Yeah, that was a bad meal. Don't make it a bad weekend. Yeah, it was a bad weekend.

Don't make it a bad Monday. Right? And then every time you just get back on the horse, it's not about never falling off, you back on the horse, reset yourself, about never falling off. Get back on the horse. Reset yourself. Keep doing it again and again and again. And then next thing you know, we're not gonna stay 100% consistent. We're not robots, man.

It's like, and I think setting, don't set the framework for perfect. I actually just got off a Zoom with a client. He has the problem with the all or nothing. I'm either doing it 100% or I'm on the couch doing it. And so there's like this understanding of our own psychology. Dude, this isn't a program. This is what you do now for the rest of your life. You're a mindful motherfucker who gets back on the horse. That's it. That's all you are. You're just more mindful about the way you eat and the way you move forever now.

Welcome to the club. So don't expect there's no, what is there, no program for the rest of your life. It's just what you do. And when you start to make these things into who you are and not just the little tasks you're doing, it becomes a lot easier. Cause you recognize, yeah, you might've had a bad meal.

All right, yeah, listen to and become self-aware enough to understand if you're feeling a little guilt or, okay, we'll fix it. Right, then listen to that internal dialogue where it's guiding you. Your conscious is your guideline. Apply, listen to your conscience. If it's saying, hey dude,

we should probably tighten up the food a little bit, you're getting a little loose, tighten it up then. Doesn't need to be perfect, just start moving in the direction. Like you said, it's the weighted vest. And this because where you end up walking to and where you end up traveling to is gonna be so much more honed in and perfect

when you just kind of start getting some momentum. It's the momentum. And don't let yourself stop. That's the one piece that they say in steel training, don't quit, just don't quit. If you can't get the full workout in, I don't care, dude, go walk, do 10 pushups. That's at least you check, you're like,

yeah, I didn't do it perfect, but at least that keeps you in the game. Don't ever go on the sideline and opt out, hang your cleats up. Nah, dude, what is that? That's no way to live. And that's also where all the anxiety is going to come from. So just do yourself a favor. Just stay in the game. Bro, I love your mentality. I talked to you for another three hours. I think it's

Yeah, dude, we got a lot of good synergy, man. We should get some synergy on something in the future, bro. I'd love to have you on. We got we got a podcast we launched out down in Florida, dude, with me and my former teammate and stuff. So, dude, I'd love to have you on and We got a podcast we launched out down in Florida, dude, with me and my former teammate and stuff. So dude, I'd love to have you on and talk about some of these things, man. Dude, I'm down, I'm down. So I know there are people listening who wanna get deeper into your world.

Where do they go to do that? How do they connect deeper with you? So anybody can get me on my website, TaylorCavanaugh.com. That contact form goes right to me. I don't outsource anything, AI, right? That goes right to my personal email. I do that by design, because I like to see who's coming in and their stories.

And then also my Instagram, TCAVOfficial, where I do workout videos and you can see my daily flow. I record my morning process every day. And so they know I'm up with Roll Call. And my YouTube, Taylor Kavanaugh, where I dive into some deeper principles, keynotes, gym sessions with different characters around the United States and and just some of the deeper principles from and it's my story from you'll see my first video in

the Foreign Legion barracks room all the way up till till now recording on the balcony in the house, you know, with the baby. So it's been quite the journey and I look forward to communicating with people, listen to their story and figure out how we get some men or women momentum. Dude, I appreciate the hell out of you. I'm so glad you're out there and I love this conversation. Thank you so much. Yeah, likewise, man. I appreciate everybody listening.

And Ryan, dude, you're the man, bro. We're forward to speaking again. Appreciate you, bud.