The Ryan Hanley Show - From Rock Bottom to Seven-Figure Success

Episode Date: July 1, 2024

Became a Master of the Close: https://masteroftheclose.comYears ago, Samantha's life took an unexpected turn when a night out led to an arrest after someone slipped something into her drink. Rather than breaking her, this incident became a pivotal moment that propelled her toward self-discovery and incredible business success. ✅ Join over 10,000 newsletter subscribers: https://go.ryanhanley.com/ ✅ For daily insights and ideas on peak performance: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryanhanley ✅ Subscribe to the YouTube show: https://youtube.com/ryanmhanleyConnect with Samantha KozuchInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/samanthakozuch/Maniscripting Journal: https://maniscripting.com/Today, Samantha is a seven-figure entrepreneur with a thriving video production and marketing company in Scottsdale, Arizona. Hear firsthand how she transitioned from a future in med school to building her own empire and the personal growth that came with it.Throughout our conversation, Samantha illuminates the importance of recognizing and addressing self-destructive behaviors before they lead to rock-bottom situations. We discuss the human tendency to justify harmful actions and the critical need for honest communication and high personal standards. Whether it's about money, career, health, or relationships, Samantha and I explore how focusing on one area at a time can create lasting change, emphasizing the power of self-awareness and the impact of our social environment.In addition to sharing her journey, Samantha introduces us to the Manuscripting Journal, a tool she developed during the pandemic to help others harness positive thinking and overcome their fears in launching businesses. We delve into the essentials of manifesting success through journaling and goal setting, and Samantha even gives us a sneak peek into the upcoming launch of gender-specific journals. This episode is jam-packed with actionable insights and powerful stories that can inspire you to take control of your life and reach new heights in your personal and professional endeavors.

With humans, we get so like our subconscious minds, like we just get so comfortable in our situations, no matter if they're good or bad, and majority of people are comfortable in their own crap. Let's go. Yeah, make it look, make it look, make it look. The goal of this podcast is to share original insights and conversations on the habits, mindsets, and strategies of elite performers that produce exceptional results. Let's go. Samantha, it's awesome having you on the show. Thanks for taking some time with us. Thank you. I'm so excited to be here, and I know we're going to get into some juicy conversations, so I'm here for it.

Yeah. So when your people reached out to me and pitched me, it was funny. The first thing they said was from being arrested to seven figure entrepreneur. And I was like, that's pretty interesting. And then I did a bunch of research and I was like, I need to know more about this part of the story. And obviously it's juicy and it's a great headline and I think it's a good place to start. So how did you get arrested? Yeah. So I was actually in my mid twenties and now I've been an entrepreneur for like over a decade now, which is crazy. I basically started when I was kind of in college, was supposed to go to med school, decided my senior year, this isn't for me anymore, which was in that place of just being like, well,

what the heck do I do with my life? And back then, which I might be like dating myself, but it's like entrepreneurship wasn't cool. It was like, if you were an entrepreneur or like a business owner, like, you know, just doing your own thing, you're kind of like a loser. Like, what are you doing? Like sleeping on your couch kind of a thing. So I decided to go to med school, which made my parents basically like, it was unspoken word of, well, we're cutting you off and not supporting you. You got to figure it out if you're not going to do that. So went down the road of entrepreneurship. I was modeling and acting in college because I couldn't do that before college. And I started dabbling and learning more about like, oh, I can make my own

money. Oh, this seems really good. This is fun. This is great. And then I got kind of into like MLM stuff for a little bit. I was too early and young mindset for that. I didn't understand it fully. But I ended up, as I was in the modeling and acting industry, I kind of like, I was always had, I had this eye for, okay, how can I do this and monetize it? So I ended up starting my own video production company, marketing company. This is way before, like now we have UGC content creators, didn't have that back then. And I had tons of companies coming to me to create their videos for social media, YouTube, Amazon, all of that. So in my early 20s, like that

company was making me really good money. So just I'm painting you the picture. I'm now I graduated from U of A, moved back up to Scottsdale, Arizona. And if anyone's familiar with Scottsdale, Arizona, I lived right in the heart of Old Town, where all the nightclubs are, all the fun is like 24-7 fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably see where this story is going a little bit, but my lifestyle, you know, I was in my early mid twenties making good money for myself for being self-employed. And it was a very work hard, play hard mentality for me, much like most of my friends there. Most, I was the only one that was kind of self-employed.

Everyone else had corporate jobs. So I was very different, kind of didn't have anyone to connect with. But the way that I could really connect and have fun with people is to go out and party. So that was my lifestyle. And for a long time, I knew that I was meant for bigger things. Like I was, even though I had my marketing company, I really wanted to model and act, which I was doing a little bit of traveling in the meantime throughout the United States. But I was always just like afraid to push the limits. Like I was like, why change anything when I can pay my bills, have the luxury car, have the condo, all of that, you know, I'm doing well. But deep down inside, knew I was meant to be doing more. And slowly but surely that caught up with

me. So it was just one night, we went out, it was the same thing, different weekends. And I had just had something put in my drink. Like at that time I could drink like a fish. I don't drink anymore, but I can drink like a fish. Right. So going into the nightclub, you have your first couple of drinks and all of a sudden I'm just feeling like there's something wrong. I need to get out of here. And I kind of so grateful for my intuition and just like knowing my body and having the support, like you, the bartenders knew the bouncers, you knew the doorman, like all of that. So I kind of just ran to the back of the nightclub where my friend was doing the back door. And I'm like, I need to get home, like put me in a cab or just like, get, I need to

get out of here. So he pulled up a cab and I ran out of the club. So kind of just like, not frantic, but just like the mindset of, I need to get out of here. So he pulled up a cab and I ran out of the club. So kind of just like, not frantic, but just like the mindset of I need to get out of here because something's wrong. Yeah. And so he put me on a cab. My condo was literally like four minutes from this club. And when I'd arrived, like it's whatever I'd taken, it was just already kicking in. And that's where my memory gets extremely blurry. But the one thing I do remember is the cab driver yelling at me because I left my purse and bag, you know, at the booth in the, in the club. And I didn't have money to pay for the clap, the cab. And this was like a five or $6 cab. So he calls the cops in the meantime, like, I'm just so effing out of it that like, I didn't know what was going on. roll up real quick because they're just everywhere in that town um and they're like

basically like saw me in this they probably thought I was just wasted out of my mind and yeah um they arrested me because I didn't have that five six dollars to pay for this cab home and I went and I spent the night in jail And the next morning I woke up and I'm like, what the F? Like, this is not who you are. Like I was the type of person that grew up, you know, straight A's never, you know, broke the rules. I had never been in trouble for anything. And you know, this is what's happening to me right now. So that was like my personal, like, I like to call it my rock personal rock bottom, because that was something that was just a huge eye opener for me.

And from that moment on, I literally went on this trajectory to literally changing everything about my life. I uprooted, changed everything from what I was doing for work, to where I lived, to the people I hung out with to literally everything over the next like 60, 90 days. And that's what kind of put me on this trajectory to changing my life to now creating a very healthy lifestyle, creating a very successful business. And now I help others do the same. Yeah. Do you think people need that rock bottom moment? I've been, you know, I've been an entrepreneur for some amount of time. I, uh, uh, do a lot of coaching. I do a lot of

speaking and you'll meet people and they'll share their story with you where they are, but they're getting, and they may want to be better, right? Like you said, like you afraid to push the limits, but doing well, uh, they want to do better, right? Like you said, like you afraid to push the limits, but doing well, uh, they want to do better. They probably know they're capable of more, but no matter what you tell them, you could give them literally the keys to the kingdom and they wouldn't turn the lock. And do you think we have to have that moment? It doesn't have to be necessarily the same way that you experienced it, but do you think we have to have some version of that moment to shake us loose to say the path that we're not on or the path that we're on is not going to get us where we want to go? Or do you

think you can break loose if you're just kind of limping along? Although I haven't seen that case very often. Yeah, it's a great question. And it's a conversation that I have a lot, like literally on this topic, like, do you need to have the rock bottom? For me, it's, I feel like it depends. It depends on the person because the reason why that rock bottom shifted me so hard is it, it was, it was my wake up call. Like I think about that moment of like, oh my God, that night could have gone so much worse. That could have been so many words. Like I was actually grateful that I got arrested. Like I could just go on the stories of what if, right?

But it literally made me take a look at my status quo and be like, this isn't what I want to do. Like I'm not this girl. I don't want this to continue happening. Right. And I knew it was one of those moments where I ignored the red flags in my life. So I hit that rock bottom and that's what woke me up to be like, see, told you so like you didn't make changes. So it's like this had to

happen so I could wake up. So I feel like with people, it depends, but, and I never want to wish someone to hit their rock bottom, whatever that is. It could be something so trivial, right? You could classify as your rock bottom. But I feel like with humans, our subconscious minds, we just get so comfortable in our situations, no matter if they're good or bad. And majority of people are comfortable in their own crap. Like they're comfortable with being angry and tired and bored with their jobs or their careers or unhappy with their life or feeling unhealthy. Like people get comfortable with that.

So I feel like just like someone getting sick, right? All of a sudden, what do we do when we get sick? Oh my gosh, we take the time to rest. We take our vitamins, we start eating healthier. But it's like, until we did that, we were eating like crap and not taking care of our bodies. So it's a yes and no. But I can tell you this, now that I've hit my rock bottom and I had that experience, I now have seen that like, if there's a time in my life, like maybe a couple years later or whatever, whenever I feel things starting to happen again, like,

oh, these little, it's like those little red flags are popping up for certain things. I pay attention harder now and start making pivotal changes versus waiting again for everything to collapse. So I think it's like one of those really good learning lessons to then be able to not hit that rock bottom again. I don't think you need to continuously keep hitting a rock bottom unless you don't learn the lesson, which I truly believe in. Right?

Well, it's interesting. There's two things in there. One, we will justify. We have this ability as humans to justify away so many things that we know don't help us, right? I find myself, you know, I mean, the fact that I haven't been arrested is just a miracle. I mean, I lived a very similar life at a very similar age and, you know, was working hard. I wasn't a corporate job, but you work all day, you work hard,

and then you get done and you're like, I need to release, you know, whatever that is, you know, and you're like, and you'd go out and it'd be a Tuesday and you'd be walking into work hungover the next day and you're like, what am I doing? And then, but, oh, you know, we worked really hard yesterday or I've been grinding the last month, so I deserve it. And it's like, you deserve to be hung over and have a really shitty day at work because you were working hard for the last month. Like that doesn't make a lot of sense. And it just over and over and over again,

and myself included, you know, I've, you just justify things away. Oh, oh, you know, that ice cream for the third day in a row is fine because the kids are having ice cream and, you know, it's summertime. And you're like, what is summertime or anyone else eating, you know, this thing that, you know, is not good for you. And especially, you know, I'm in my 40s now. So like ice cream doesn't really fall off your body the same way it did 20 years ago. So like, you know, and I like to be bitten in shape and, um, it's just, you will just justify anything. So how, like for someone who's listening to this, who maybe hasn't hit the rock bottom,

but is, but is nodding along to like, you know, they're hearing the justification. They're going, I do that. I do that. How do you, if, cause, cause as you said, we don't want to wish rock bottom on anyone. How does someone start to recognize these things in their life without hitting that rock bottom? So the other side of the coin, if you haven't hit it and hopefully you never do, right? If you're listening to this and you haven't already, how do you start to make those corrections

now so that you don't get there? Yeah. I think the first one is awareness and having complete honesty and transparency with yourself. Like this is kind of like with what I teach in my communities, like you have to ask yourself like where it comes to, and this can be in like five different pillars, I call it like with your money, with your career or job, with your health, with just like your overall lifestyle and even with like material items and just take a look at that and be like, am I happy? Like, is this the best version of my life that I can possibly live? And for the majority of people, even for myself today, the answer is no, because I always know

I can strive to be better, do better, you know, create a better life, all of those things. So I think the first one is just awareness of like being honest with yourself. Am I even happy with my life? Because I think a lot of people kid themselves with being like, oh, yeah, well, I am happy because I don't know, I do have a job and there is money in the bank account and I have a family or all of that. So I think being fully honest with yourself and then taking that. I know this can be super overwhelming because I know a lot of people, when they get to this point of awareness, they're like, oh, my gosh, I want to just change everything. And I would say, focus on one area

of your life. Focus on one thing. If it is to make more money, okay, let's focus on, all right, what can I do to make more money? If you already have a job, okay, is it asking for a raise? Is it starting a side hustle? Is it getting a new job? But focus on that one area that you want to change and start shifting the mentality behind it. And just thinking about it every single day of how you can up level and change it. And I mean, this is what I kind of teach in like a long, long, long format. But I think one is having their awareness and being honest with yourself. Because most people, like we've already said, like they just get so comfortable. And not only that, it's so normalized, right?

It's so normalized to work hard during the week and then go party on the weekends. And, you know, it's when you're surrounding yourself with those people that are all unhappy, that are all complaining, that are all, you know, in those lower level vibrational frequencies of how they talk, then of course, you're going to resonate with that. And you're going to contribute to that. And that's what normalizes it, right? So almost taking an inventory of like, what are those conversations that you're having with people? What are those conversations? Like, who are you hanging out with? What are you doing on the weekends? Is it exactly what you want to be doing? Or do you have higher standards for yourself? So I think it's like creating this new standard for yourself. And the first kind of like, as you start this process,

it's hard. It's so hard. Like I remember me after I got arrested and all of that, like, honestly, like I hid for a month. I like, I did not tell anyone that anyone that didn't know or see or anything happened, which not many people did. Like I hid, I didn that anyone that didn't know or see or anything happened, which not many people did. Like I hid, I didn't want to let anyone know. I didn't want to hang out with the same people anymore, even though they didn't contribute to it at all. I don't want to go out to those places anymore.

I'm like, I'm, I'm done. Like I'm done. I'm setting a new high standard for what I want for my life. And I started changing it, which is uncomfortable and it can feel lonely. And it's, it's kind of, it's kind of hard, but I promise you, once you start even just having that awareness and being like, no, I want to change X, Y, and Z. And maybe it's, you know, following someone on social media, even if it's hiring a coach or just watching YouTube videos. Like even when I started my journey of changing my life after my arrest, there was no social media of coaches and courses and all this. Like it was like Tony Robbins and Oprah, you know,

and you had to buy the DVDs. So I turned to YouTube and I was just like watching all these self-development stuff, reading books and really like, and that's when it started clicking for me about, oh, this is all mindset. This is all like that self-development because the one thing that, one, you are the creator of your reality, but the one thing standing between the reality that you want and you is your brain. Like it's your mind. So if you can make the shifts in your mind, you are literally going to change your reality because everything that we think the emotions that we have and the actions that we take it is all it's the man our life is that manifestation of those three things well if you don't like something about the reality like we got to just change what's up here yeah i have

one of the going back to the like uh not right now it feels like in our society, we we've pushed comfort, easy, like these kinds of like, you deserve these, you know, to, to, to live a certain life and have stuff. And we've, we've exchanged accomplishment and meaning and purpose for stuff and like oblivion. And what, and what I mean by oblivion is, is there is a really awful trend that I've seen, uh, uh, in, in some of the people in my community. And just, I coach baseball. I run into a lot of particularly, uh, dads who they're all overweight and in some cases substantially overweight they all know they are uh now that pot is legalized and i don't necessarily have anything particular problem with pot in general but like now that it's legalized every night they're coming home and

whether it's edibles or smoking they're getting high out of their mind and they're like as a way to like calm their brain from whatever during the day. So instead of exercising, instead of eating right, instead of putting the fuel in their body or reading or taking on a side hustle, they're deciding to eat, find comfort in stuff and then whether it's alcohol or pot or some other drug, putting themselves into oblivion. And then all the relationships start to fall apart. They're

constantly like foggy brained and like kind of in a bad mood. And like, I talked to him a little bit about it because obviously I do coaching too and personal development, you know, all this kind of stuff is like core to my life as well. And they'll look at you and be like, yeah, I know I shouldn't do those things. And I'd be like, well, what's up then? And they're like, and you just get like this shoulder shrug. And, and I wonder, and this is where my question is for you. I see those guys and they're, they're good people, right? They're not, they're not,

these aren't people who have any ill intention. They're trying to get through their life and, and, and they're trying to be happy. Uh, but they're doing all these things that are purposefully, you know, causing problems. And I wonder like, do they even know what the best version of their life could look like? And I guess my question for you is one, have you seen that? And do you agree with that general philosophy? And two, if you're, if someone is listening to this, who is in that place, they feel stuck. How do you map out what the best version of your life could actually look like? Yeah, no, I do see it a lot. Just going out into the public population, right? And it's heartbreaking. And I feel like just with one,

just like what's been going on. And this isn't just from the past few years of what's been going on in the world. And I feel like it's such a combination of things, right? It's, it's like, I don't even know how deep you go into this stuff in the podcast, in this podcast, but even just like with like the programming from these people just being in this world of just look at like, just like even the TV shows that they're watching and the things that they're doing and all of our foods, right? They're just filled with toxins and all this crap. Like if you're not at this point, like buying organic and, you know, watching for seed oils and all these sorts of stuff and what, of course, like you're just going to, you're going to put on the way. And not only that, all the other things, like all of the hormone disruptors and everything with

just what I'm seeing as well. And my fiance and I talk about this a lot, especially right now, because we're releasing a men's journal, because we're also seeing this in men. There's so many things out there for women, right, to help them up-level, ebolate their mindset, change their life. And it's like, I feel like also the men, and I don't want like blanket statement this, but there's been so much just like, I don't even know how to word it to like not be misquoted on the show, but you know, the masculinity of men has also decreased a lot. I feel, and this isn't everyone, this, I just see it just like as a trend of, you know,

and, and this is what's what's happening. Right. Like they're just like, no purpose, no excitement, no drive. And women, too. But just to point here. And I think it's like coming back down to like you have to make that decision. And I feel like in those situations, I don't know even how to help someone in that state. Because one, I've tried. I've tried with family members. And that's the same exact what you're describing. And it's like you're talking to this wall.

Like you just feel like there's this veil over them. And it's like I don't know what's even going to snap them out of it. And I'm not saying like, there's nothing you can do to be do, but it always comes back to like, yeah, they have to make the choice. They have to make the decision. And for anyone listening that you have this awareness now, and you're like, fuck, like, that's me. Like, I really want to change it. I'll give you a little bit of an example for even myself, even though I already have like mindset dialed in and I'm working on myself every single day, but about six weeks ago, and I'm, I'm, I'm into the fitness space. I used to do that back in the day. So I know how to work out. But six weeks ago, I decided just one day I woke up

and I'm like, I want to commit to a six week workout plan. Like this isn't like to like lose a ton of weight or anything. I'm like, no, I just want to commit. Cause for me as an entrepreneur, my days were insane. I would miss the gym multiple days a week because I have a call, have this stressed out. No, no, no. I made quote unquote excuses, but in reality, like I was just letting it fall away side. Right. So I made this commitment to I'm doing six weeks. I got this workout program every single day. It told me what to do. And I went to go do it. The first week I was excited. The second week, still excited, kind of getting hard to show up every single day. Third week was really like,

okay, got to keep going. And then it kind of like by the fourth, fifth week, it became exciting again because it had become a part of my routine and I started looking forward to it. Yeah. Yeah. Like if you're in this place of just like, okay, I need to change something. Like I said earlier, pick that one thing. Maybe it is, Hey, if you smoke pot or weed, like, Hey, see if you can cut back on that. You know, if it's, you're watching, you're binge watching Netflix three hours a night, like for the love of God, like cancel that damn subscription, um, you know, use that time for something else. Maybe you're scrolling

Instagram for hours on end, like put a time, like our phones now have like these awesome timer limits that can cut you off at a certain hour spendage. But I feel like it always comes back to like, that person needs to make the choice. Like no one, I could give you all the plans, all the motivational speaking, all the books to read, all of that. But if that person like literally just isn't willing, like, isn't like it's, you can't force anyone else to change their lives, which it's tough, especially if it's like, you know, like you said, like these are, you know, parents of kids that you coach or, you know, your family members or your friends and stuff like that. But ultimately, the best thing that you can do, what I've seen, and this is why I show up on social media every

day, this is why I built my community is lead by example. Right? So when I'm hanging out with certain people that I know, oh, they freaking drink a lot, you know, I'm like, I'm showing up, I'm not drinking alcohol, I'm making mocktails. I'm like, hey, do you want a mocktail instead, you know, not forcing them to not drink, not bringing up, Hey, you drink too much, but kind of leading by that example. So that's a tough one. But if you, if you figure out truly like, let me know. But that's been something that's always been so top of mind, especially with those that don't have that drive yet to change. Even though you see from the outside, they're hurting and they're hurting themselves and ones that they love.

You know, so I have a friend, he's a extended friend, but a friend. And we're at like a little, I can't remember where we're at, some sort of gathering, we'll call it a party. And he's complaining that he hasn't had sex in five weeks with his wife and she's eavesdropping and, you know, and he's, you know, kind of classic guy stuff. And, uh, you know, not to be crass, but that sounds like an eternity to me. But, um, but I was like, well, what's up? And he's like, oh, you know, she, bub, bub, bub. He's like, he's got all these excuses.

And she turns around and goes, and she goes, he's high as a kite every night, starting at 8 PM. She goes, you know, and then she just kind of shrugs and turns around and I look at him and he looks at me and he just puts his head down and like, he just kind of like walked away. And I just felt so bad because I was like, you know, you have this person, he loves his wife. He's a, he's a good husband. He's not a bad, you know, he's not like blander or anything in general. He's a great dude. And he just picked up this habit and it became a crutch for him and it was impacting his relationship. It's impacting,

um, I mean, just at a pure biochemistry level, a physical act that has tremendous benefits to you. And it's also a lot of fun if you're doing it right. And, um, and I just, I was like, I couldn't, it really shook me. And this was maybe like, I say the other day, this was probably six months ago, but it really shook me because I was like, he knows what the problem is and was willing to bitch to me about it and make that comment tells me that it's a problem for her too. It's so solid. It's a simple solution. Find some other way to land the ship at the end of the night. That could be physical intensity. It could be a workout.

It could be a million other things. Even if it's just make yourself one cocktail, if that's what you really need, right? Like, you know, but to think that there's this known problem that, and that he was just willing to, to tell me a complete story that wasn't actually the problem to justify this thing that he was unhappy with when he was 100% the root cause. I was like, that's, this is, this is how we find ourselves in these situations. We just create these alternate realities and we're not honest with ourselves about what's really going on. And I know that, and you're a coach too, so you probably hear some of this, you know, coaching programs get a lot of negative

feedback. They get a lot of, oh, you know, you're just another person telling me what to do. And, and, and I think, unfortunately there are some kind of scammy coaching programs are out there for sure. But through this podcast and through a lot of my network and people I've met, man, there are so many people doing good work. And I think not enough people are finding someone. It could be just a mentor. It doesn't have to be a coach. It could be a friend of yours who's living a life closer to where you want to be, but we're so afraid to ask for help. How, how do we, how do you, how in general we'll take the, the, the, you know, the, the, the take the larger idea here. How do we start to get people comfortable with the idea of asking for help or seeking some guidance or a mentorship? And I want to think

about it more and say like the 30, 35 plus range, because I feel like 30, 35 under you're at an age where you're more open to feedback. You're more open to that learning, but there's some point in your early thirties, I think for a lot of people where you feel like you're supposed to know what the answer is. And it's like, I'm 43. I do read a ton. I'm part of a lot of different things around our successful people. I don't know what the fuck's going on half the time. How do we start to crack that knot? How do we start to get people to open up? Is it just more people sharing? Is it like, how do you think that works? Yeah, I think it is more people sharing for sure. Yeah, I think that. And then also like, for example, what I do just like with my inner circle, right? Cause this is usually people that like you're talking to whatever, like if I,

I never want to be like a coach around my friends. I know how to kind of like ask questions to dig a little deeper that we don't have to dive into the stuff, but maybe that one question will kind of spark something for them that maybe later that night they go think about, or maybe not. I don't know. But for example, with your friend, right? Like maybe right there with that exchange happening, my next question would have been like, so what's going on, man? Like what's bringing up smoking the pot every single night? Like what's going on in life? How are you doing? Like, was it work related? Because you know, that pot smoking is an single night? Like what's going on in life? How are you doing? Like, was it work related? Because you know, that pot smoking is an escapism from something else going on.

So it's like, if I can just even ask a question like that, like, okay, well, let's go deeper a little bit on that. And whether they share or not be like, okay, well, at least it tried, at least it kind of gets their wheelspring. But as far as like the opening up, I think it's, it's the same thing. I think it's so important for all of us that, you know, have these teaching abilities that have gone through stuff to share, to put themselves out there. And that way, you know, those others that are, you know, whether they're watching YouTubes or social medias, or even listening to this podcast, it's like, Oh, like I deal with that too. Oh,

I'm intrigued. I don't want to deal with that anymore. How did they fix it? So it's kind of like this domino effect. Right. But I think at the end of the day too, it's like, for example, if you have, are having a conversation, whether it's you, whether it's someone else, partner, whatever, it's like, I see this all the time. I have a side group of like, I guess, friends, you can call them. They're not like my like friend friends, but hang out with them every now and then. And you just see it between the couples, multiple different couples, always fighting, always arguing, they'll start drinking, they'll get into it, all of that. And it's like, you just see all these people with all these, you know, it's not the alcohol, It's those deep rooted issues that have been happening for such a long time that come

out, right. During something so stupid that might've happened. So it's like having, I feel like I just wish I could teach everyone on the planet to like have this awareness of, Hey, let's just talk and communicate and ask each other questions of like, where are we at? What are we unhappy with? What's bothering you? I think so many of us, we hold all our shit inside and we're so afraid to speak up about anything. Like maybe it's to your partner about something, maybe you're afraid they'll get mad at you or whatever. And then we just internalize all this crap. And then all of a sudden we're resent you or whatever. And then we just internalize all this crap. And then all of a sudden we're resenting that person.

And all of a sudden we're turning to the wine at night, turning to the smoking, you know, doing all these other things, feeling that disconnected. And then all of a sudden it's, you know. Yeah. It's, uh, so I'm divorced. Uh, you know, I, I look at that situation. So we spent about three years. You know, we were very different people and grew apart because we kind of started probably close, but ultimately different. And then as we grew and had kids and we were together for 13 years, but just very much different people.

But so we're good co-parents and in general, it was, it's a net positive, although, you know, it's, it's never necessarily a positive for the kids. That being said, um, when I look back at that relationship, you know, it's, it's easy to just go, well, she did this, she did that, or, you know, vice versa, if you're the female. But, you know, when I think about it, I'm like, in general, we wanted, at its core, we wanted similar things. We were terrible at communicating with each other. We had some things that we disagreed with just philosophically. But we never had those really deep conversations to try to get to the core of it.

I mean, I'm not saying it's possible or even would have been positive for us to stay together. But I think that when I look back on that situation, I have to take full responsibility for the fact that I never tried to communicate with my partner in a way that really explained to her who, what I wanted out of life and, and where I wanted to go. And maybe we would have figured out sooner that we weren't on the same path, right? Instead of 13 years. And my point in saying that is it doesn't matter if it's your spouse, partner, a child, a business partner, a friend. It feels like we have, and I think the internet has a lot to do with this in general and just our disconnectedness, remote work, et cetera, and just the busyness that we've found ourselves in, in a day-to-day basis, uh, we've lost the ability or, or we either lost the ability and, or we no longer make time for like deep

conversations around, you know, uh, just philosophy and life and goals. We just, we just kind of skip off the surface and nothing comes out of that. It's like you're, you're, you're, you're running all day, but going nowhere. And, and it just leads you use the word resentment. Um, that is such a toxic thing to let into your life. And I think so much of it starts from a lack of communication. Yeah. Yeah. I truly, truly believe that communication is key. And that's the one thing I think, so I'm, I'm 36. So I didn't even meet my now fiance until I was 32. And I'm so grateful for that because the amount that I've grown and changed and learned to communicate from like all my twenties of dating and all of that to like, Oh, this is how I'm supposed to show up

and all of these things. Right. So now even like with us, like we've, we've built a very beautiful foundation where even on the, over the last year and these, these could even just be some tips for your listeners, which are pretty abnormal for most people. But starting a year ago, we had just moved to Austin, Texas, and we kind of just changed a lot of things about our life. But we don't watch TV. We don't watch TV. So at night and the evenings, and when we're both done with our work days, like we have dinner and we, and I know this might seem a little bit more deeper woo-woo, but like literally we'll meditate together. We'll, and then we each have our little journal entries

that we do in the evening. But then after that, we talk. We spend hour or two talking every single night and even during dinner and stuff like that. But that's our wind down. And the stuff that comes up in those conversations, how we're feeling what we're doing you know all of those things it is it's been life-changing like up until then we

weren't doing that we were very much binge watching netflix's and all of that sort of stuff but even just making that simple switch over the last year and we got like addicted to it as far as like oh it's tonight even a night worth it to turn the TV on. No, let's like, you know, do this. Let's talk about X, Y, and Z, whatever business life, all that stuff, sort of stuff. But I 100% believe communication is key, whether it's with even yourself, you know, honesty with yourself, friends, your partner, your coworkers, like all that sort of stuff. And I think people are so afraid to speak their truth, right? They're so afraid to put their ego aside, right? Because if we're not asking for help or that, that's all ego because I know it all and I don't need no help, right? And that was me all up until my mid

twenties till I hit my rock bottom. I had a big freaking ego because I had to prove to everyone that I didn't need a job, that I didn't need to go to med school. And like, look what that eventually got me. Like I had to break down so many of my walls. I had to be able to leave with my heart after tons and tons of breakups of whether the guys treated me like shit or I treated the guys like shit. It was just like so many layers to all of this, to being able to like live the best version of yourself.

So it's, and I know someone listening to this podcast right now and be like, Oh my God, you guys are like covering so much. It's like, where do you even start with it? But I think it's just literally listening to conversations like this and hitting play on the podcast about like healing, self-awareness, relationships, like just all different areas and aspects and just learning more, listening more. Because the more that we can educate ourselves, the more we can give ourselves awareness around these situations to be like, oh, wait, it isn't normal for me to not talk to my husband

every single night. It's not normal. It's normal for me to like not have sex every single week or every other day or whatever. We tend to start normalizing these things. And all of a sudden, 10 years in, you're so fucking unhappy. It's like, what happened? That's why people wake up in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and they're like, they have this midlife crisis because they've been doing stuff for so long that they actually didn't like or enjoy. Yeah. You wake up and you look around and you're like, who am I? I don't even know what I look like anymore. Yeah. Well, I think, I think a big first step. So, so getting back to your point of an actionable first step is actually,

uh, the business, your, your e-commerce business, your, uh, manuscripting.com and the journal. I think, you know, I found, I unfortunately am very inconsistent with my journaling. However, I found that in the moments in which I've had, I've been the most confused or frustrated or negative. I've turned to journaling on a consistent basis and it has worked every time pulling me out of whatever the funk was and starting to get me back on the path. I mean, I don't think it's the be all end all to everything. However, I do think that if we're not getting the crap out of our head, it sits in there and- Do on it. Yeah. Well, there's a new- Just wearing it on it, right? I don't know if you saw the book that Abigail Schreier just put out. She was recently on Joe Rogan, a couple other podcasts as well

about talking about, I think it's called toxic toxic therapy at some, something like that. It, that's not exactly the title. I'm going to butcher it. Uh, but, uh, if you go look up Abigail Shrier, she'll find it. But her whole point is that, that therapy in general has evolved, um, away from how it was originally practiced to now you have therapists that you go, you go sit down, they don't even talk and you just tell them all your problems over and over and over again, every week, every other week, you know, whatever, however, whatever your cadence is. And it's like, you're just stewing on your problems. And you're just, it's like, of course, you're going to feel bad about yourself. If all you're ever doing is talking about all the bad

shit that's happening. So to me, if you can barf that stuff onto a page and get it out first thing in the morning, in particular, that's what always worked for me was getting it out first thing in the morning. And you look at it and you're like, one, if you go back and you look, even if you just write a page or whatever it is, I feel like your first thought is like, one, that's not so bad, right? It's not as bad as I might think it is. And two, wait a minute, I can like solve some of these things. Like this isn't, you know, whatever. So tell me about, tell me about manuscripting.com. Tell me about your journal and talk to me a little bit about where this came from. Like, where did this business come from? Why did you decide to, to create a journal in general? Yeah.

So I'll start with the creation of it because this company was not in my plan at all. Like my entire entrepreneurial career, it was all digital, virtual, social media, online stuff. And actually during the pandemic, when the entire world wasn't like, what the F is going on? The uncertainty, all the fear, all the sadness, all the anger, all the loss that was happening and finances, life, all of that, right? We all went through it. But I was actually at that point teaching a bunch of students and clients on how to start their own businesses. So I was an online business coach. And we were partway through the course all together and this hits us. And all of a sudden I just saw like the demeanors change in the entire class, right? It's just like panic. It's like, oh my God, I'm supposed to be launching. There's no way I'm going to launch my brand right

now. Like I cannot, you know, all this. And I'm just, you know, you're just seeing it even on social media with everyone just posting all the bad, the bad, the bad. And I just started sharing my personal daily routine. So when I had hit my rock bottom, I started learning a lot about mindset, self-development. Oh, journaling. What is this? Oh, meditation. What is this? Never done any of that stuff before.

It was never taught, was never, you know, wasn't as popular on social media like it is today. And I just started teaching them how to do that. Hey, every single day, I want you to get your mindset right. You are going to be launching. Here's like the questions I want you to go through. Write down the answers. Here's the meditation. Gave them like guided meditation examples of what to listen to, that kind of stuff. And I just started sharing that not only in that class, but also just on social media in general. So I started getting a lot of feedback on, Hey, like, is there a PDF download to access

these journaling questions? You know, I kind of got that a couple of times. It was just like, whatever, like I was so in my other business. Right. And then finally I was just like, Whoa, like this, doesn't everybody do this? That was my first thought. Like, cause I'd been doing it for so long it was normal for me yeah it was like doesn't everyone do this so i had that literally that like download of like oh my god this isn't just going to be another ebook pdf download that's gonna get lost in someone's inbox i'm like no this, I use a journal and I would always just like buy a really fancy one. Right. I'm like, no, this needs to be a really beautiful luxury journal that is just

like beautiful and gorgeous. And that can help take someone through the process because everything that I've learned, I can't just regurgitate to you on like a couple minute call or record something. Right. Like it has to, like, it has to be detailed documented in a book and I want it to be beautiful. And from there that like that like that moment um at the time I just started dating or was just dating my now fiance and I like told him this idea I'm like hey I was like and had this like idea download like I think I need to do it and he's all like fuck yeah let's go like let's freaking do it because he was he was very excited. Just the whole online space, I knew for me as well.

I had kind of seen it as far as like, oh, is this what I'm going to be doing for the rest of my life? I don't know. No, I know I'm not. Like, what's the next thing? So it was just the timing of everything at once. So I just went right into figuring out. I didn't know anything about manufacturing, shipping, having a product base, but nothing, like literally nothing. I stepped into this with so much fear and unknown, but I knew deep down in my soul, I'm like, no, no, this, this needs to be birthed and you need

to do it because so many people need this and you need to help them. So dove into that, launched that what now four years ago at this point during the pandemic, which was the worst time, by the way, to launch a physical product when, you know, everyone remembers all the container ships and everything being stuck out sea for months and months and months on end. Yeah. That my company was out stuck out there too. It was just the first year was like one of the most like disastrous. I should have, I could have 100% given up. There were days that I wanted to, but I just like held the vision of what this was going to be. And yeah, so that's what the Manuscripting Journal is today. And basically

the whole process of the journal, it's a 90 day journal. The first part is basically a workbook because I feel like when it comes to goal setting and just manifesting in general, which I know gets a bad rap thanks to social media, but we're manifesting every second of the day, whether you believe in it or not, like your thoughts, your feelings, your actions, it literally creates your reality. And we are the creators of a reality. So if we know that, like, why not freaking have a fun time playing with it and taking charge of our lives? So the first part is a workbook. We go through a series of questions. And I know this entire episode, we've been talking about like, how do you get that awareness? What questions do you ask?

Like, how do you go deeper? How do you figure out? And that's literally what the workbook is, because those were all the questions I had to ask myself when I had hit my rock bottom of like, hey, Sam, what do you want your life to actually look like? What's been holding you back? The biggest question, it's not even about what you want. A lot of people kind of know what they want. It's more like, what's been holding you back? Like the biggest question, it's not even about like what you want. A lot of people kind of know what they want. It's more like what's been holding you back? Like what has been

that fear? What has been that past trauma? Like maybe you have had, had heard stories of other people trying it. So you didn't do it. Maybe something had happened to you in the past where it just killed your confidence. And you're like, there's no way I could go on to move something else. So we deal with the past stuff that's been holding you back. We deal with the things on, okay, what is the stuff that you need to release and let go? We do a lot of stuff with just like subconscious programming, because all of it is, is like our mind, right? Like this is what's keeping us where we're at. And it's because our minds, like we have 12 to 80,000 thoughts a day and 85% of them are repetitive. So if you're having that same self-doubt every single day, if you're having

that lack of confidence, if you're having that lack of drive every single day, like, of course, nothing's going to change. So then when you go into the actual journaling, it's all, it's like a daily entry. It takes like less than six minutes. I timed myself the other week, actually. I'm like, wait, how long does this actually take? But it's all focused on gratitude, what you're open to receiving. You have three, my favorite part is three action steps that you're going to take today to move closer towards your goals. And then a full journal entry page, which you start with, I'm so happy and grateful that. So we're talking about the quote unquote future, but we're acting as if

it's already happened. Because the one thing with our mind is subconscious mind has no idea what's fake and what's reality. That's why everything that you consume from the movies that you watch, the shows that you watch, the books that you read, the podcasts you listen to, like it has no idea if it is real or fake. So if you're bombarding yourself with crime podcasts and scary movies and all this negative, like lower frequency vibrational stuff, like your subconscious is taking that in as real. So of course the next day, how are you going to wake up feeling so high vibe when you just digested a whole bunch of crap? So the one thing with the journal is you get up, you do it every day. It is super short and easy to fill out, but it gets your mind right.

So you're instantly starting the day, just like you said earlier with how you kind of journaled, like you started the day thinking about the things that you want to accomplish. It gives you that confidence of, oh, I know exactly those three little things I need to get done today. And when you start doing that over and over, like at this point, I've been doing it for nine years, 10 years. Like my life has just kept on getting better and better and better and better. It's not that I don't face hardships. It's not that I don't face any like problems or obstacles.

Of course I do. But with each problem and obstacle that I have, I know to look at it also as a lesson. And I also now have the tools in my toolbox to like, okay, dealing with this instead of getting like staying in the stewing of anger and mad and sadness. I'm like, all right, feel that shit, figure out what that lesson was in this. All right, let's make sure we don't repeat that again. And this is how we continue moving onwards. So it's a process. It's a process. It's a lifestyle. Like I, like, just like we were talking about, you know, people have unhealthy lifestyles. Like I always say to my students, like manifesting

is a lifestyle, like changing your life as a lifestyle, having a good, high, healthy, luxury life. Like it's, they call it a lifestyle for a reason because it's not something you just do for 30 days or a week, or you create a vision board one time and wait for it to fall in your lap. Like it is a process that builds on itself to create the habits so that you can grow and evolve as a person. Yeah. I'm going to be a terrible podcast host right now and just say that I agree with everything that you said. I know I'm supposed to ask some contrary question, but I completely agree. I'll tell you, and I know a lot of people that are listening, especially probably the men, because I see this much more in men than I do in women. I feel like women, well, one, women just tend to have a much stronger sense of openness

to new ideas, to themselves, to feelings and emotions. But I think that particularly for the men, oftentimes ideas like manifesting, like gratitude, et cetera, they're seen as like foo-foo-y, ethereal kind of things. And it's like, oh yeah, I'm sure that's good for the, you know, the young kids or some internet entrepreneur. But, you know, I run a small business or an insurance agency, or I'm an executive in a company, whatever. And guys, you know, I'll just give you an anecdote to reinforce what you said. You know, I love being a dad. I love it. I absolutely love it.

I coach Little League, and I just enjoy it immensely. I'm willing to take whatever level of success I could have had without kids and have it be less because I have them. Cause you just, it is very difficult to operate at a hundred percent when you have children, as many people are listening. No. However, um, when I first got divorced, I, you know, there's so many feelings going on. And then I, now I have two, you know, at that point they were eight and six. I have two relatively young boys, uh, that I'm now parenting by myself. And, you know, that's a new experience. And they were, you know, they're rambunctious and they're

running around and, uh, I'm living in an apartment now after living in a nice house with my, with my ex. And I would starting to feel myself get very frustrated with them. And, you know, and I used journaling for about five months during that time period to pull myself out of it. And I just started with gratitude and saying, I would just write at the top, like, you know, I'm a Christian. So I just would say, thank you so much. I just write, literally, thank you so much, God, for having two healthy young boys who I love and love me. And what I found was changing nothing else. All of a sudden, the little things that were like bothering me that they would do or like them yelling or just being kids, it stopped bothering me. And not in like a conscious way. It wasn't like I was like,

you know, saying myself, like, don't let that bother you. Like it just was all, they're just being, yeah, they're just being kids, you know, whatever. And because as you said, uh, this idea of manifesting and I did not believe in manifesting. I was one of those people that's like, this is stupid. This is like something people teach you when they want to sell you shit. And then I heard probably five years ago, are you familiar with Andy for sell eyes? Uh the Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I love his podcast. And I love his way. And he did an entire episode, like out of the blue, the whole episode ended up being about manifesting. I don't think it was probably meant to be by by listening to it, but talking about how he is an enormous believer in manifesting. And he's actually talks

about how he's pissed that the secret exists because it kind of corrupted this idea that literally has been a paramount to his life. And he's like, I think every day intentionally and consciously about what I want for, even if it's for 30 seconds, I am visualizing it. I'm thinking about it. And then what happens is not the thing comes out of thin air, but it's like when you buy a new car and then all of a sudden you see that car on the road, right? If your brain is thinking problem, problem, problem, problem, problem, then you are literally telling your brain, look for problems, see problems, like search out problems, you know, marinate in the problems

or the opposite of if I'm thinking positivity, if I'm thinking energy, if I'm thinking love, if I'm, you know, whatever your things are, then all of a sudden you start to see those things, your spouse, or, you know, I have a, a woman I've been seeing for a while now, you know, they do something and maybe you would have just ignored it before. And now all of a sudden you're like, Jesus, man, she picks up the dishes every night. Like I'm going to go grab a couple of dishes and help her. Right. Like, cause it's not, it's again, it's not conscious guys.

I, I, I, I, I want to reinforce. I think one, I love your journal. I don't have it yet. I'm going to buy one or I did buy one. It'll be in the mail, but, uh, I, I, you know, just in reading through it, like this kind of stuff to me is so important to change because like we talked about, we over justify things, right? We, we justify all these things in our head. I think another big part of it is we feel like we don't deserve our best life. Right. Like there was a period when, when the, my, my marriage first fell apart. Um, cause it was a shock to me. It was like, I got a phone call and she was like, I'm done. And I, and we had no, you know, there's no prior,

right. I mean, I don't, we don't get in the story and I'm not going to blame her for it, for it, but it was very shocking to me. And I was like, man, I thought up until that moment, I thought I was a good husband. I, you know, I had all these visions of who I was and all of a sudden that was shattered. And I started to say like, well, maybe I don't deserve that. Maybe I don't deserve to be the married guy with kids and, and all these things. And that's so toxic. And if we don't have a way of counterbalancing that, and I think journaling is a tremendous way to do that. Again, whether you

use it all the time as a lifestyle or use it as a tool in dark moments, I think that you have to have a counterbalance those negative thoughts and using a prompted journal in particular, if you're not used to journaling is a tremendous way of creating a buttress to all the negativity that's attacking you each moment of your day. Exactly. I couldn't, I literally couldn't agree more. Yeah. Well, I love that you went to the journal. I want to send you the men's journal. It hasn't released yet, but we just got them in. So, okay. Yeah. Yeah. That'd be awesome. I love that. I, uh, I, uh, yeah, I, I don't care. Men's women's it. I just, I like the prompts. I like the activity and I like the setup and I would agree with you, the, the look and feel, you know, you want something you can hold in your hand. And, uh, I also liked, uh, uh, get a feel for my guests and what they're doing and everything.

So, um, you know, this has been tremendous. I appreciate, uh, you and what you're doing and the message you're bringing out. I obviously couldn't agree more with how you're doing it and the methods that you're using. Um, for people that are listening, going, I'm stuck, I'm negative. I have this habit. I can't get past. I'd really love to have a better relationship. My kids, my spouse, my best friend, my business partner, whatever. And journaling can,

if nothing else, guys, it is an amazing first step. And it will, I promise you, I promise you that if you can commit to it for 90 days, right? And I think 90 is a great time period. If you can just make that commitment for 90 days, you will be in a different place, in a much better place. Not every problem will be solved. That's not, this isn't a be all end all, but you will be in a different place and a much better place than you are today. I absolutely promise.

Samantha, where can people go to get the journal, to learn more about you, to follow along with your journey, to become part of your community? Yeah, the journal, you can get at marriagegifting.com and to follow me. If you want to see like lifestyle behind the scenes, inspiration for changing your life, my personal Instagram, Samantha Kazuch, that's where I kind of post all the things. And then if you just want to follow along for like, just more like actual, just. Yeah. And, uh, so guys, I will have, um, uh, all the links in the show notes as well. If you don't want to go direct.

So where, if you're listening or watching on YouTube, just go down the description. You can click through. Um, so man, this has been amazing. I appreciate you. I appreciate your time. Um, and when you launch the men's journal, we'd love to have you back in, uh, uh, you know, if, if your fiance's part of that experience, it's all my fiance. He designed it. He's the one like he journals, he journaled way before he even met me. So he's the one in charge of that one. I'm running the women's he's running men's. And yeah, I think you guys would have an amazing conversation.

Awesome. Awesome. Well, I wish the two of you nothing but the best. I appreciate you. We're going to get out of here. Every week we share the ideas, stories, and insights of elite performers that you can use in your business and life. Be sure to subscribe wherever you're listening or watching and leave a comment on YouTube to keep the conversation going. This is The Way.

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