The Ryan Hanley Show - Unlocking Transformative Leadership: The Power of Curiosity, Presence, and Resilience | Dr. Eric Peeples

Episode Date: September 17, 2024

Became a Master of the Close: https://masteroftheclose.com   What if every encounter you had was an opportunity to learn and grow? In this captivating episode, we sit down with Dr. Eric Peoples, a distinguished keynote speaker, executive coach, and pastor, to uncover the secrets of harnessing curiosity and presence in leadership. On a mission to help leaders Finish Big: https://linktr.ee/ryan_hanley Connect with Dr Eric Peoples Website: https://ericpeoplesenterprises.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-eric-w-peoples-a873b76/ Dr. Peoples sheds light on the immense value of maintaining a learner's mindset and approaching life with humility, encouraging us to treat every interaction as a chance to discover something new. By exploring the transformative power of staying present, he offers practical techniques inspired by Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now," helping leaders and individuals alike to stay focused and engaged in the moment. We also dive into the nuanced difference between loneliness and solitude, with Dr. Peoples emphasizing the importance of solitude for reflection and self-care. He provides a fresh perspective on how solitude can be a restorative force, contrasting it with the often negative connotation of loneliness. Additionally, our discussion touches on the significance of embracing differing opinions and the mental resilience required to lead effectively. Drawing parallels to athletic experiences, Dr. Peoples illustrates how understanding loss and pushing through challenges can foster growth and resilience in leadership. Finally, we redefine aspects of leadership such as resilience and aggression, challenging common misconceptions. Highlighting the mental toughness required by athletes, Dr. Peoples debunks the myth that aggression is inherently toxic and instead frames it as a necessary trait for dynamic leadership. We also touch on the importance of purpose-driven living, loyalty, and the long-term impact of one's endeavors. Wrapping up, we share exciting news about upcoming podcast episodes and projects from Dr. Peoples, ensuring that this episode is both enlightening and inspiring. Don't miss out on these powerful insights that could transform your approach to leadership and life.

Oftentimes we live with such a high level of urgency that we don't have time to stop and smell the roses. We're kind of like, I'll just go into the store and buy some versus me stopping and actually looking at something living. Every encounter I have with a person is a treasure hunt. Let's go. Yeah, make it look, make it look, make it look easy. The Ryan Hanley Show shares the original ideas, habits, and mindsets of world-class original thinkers you can use to produce extraordinary results in your life and business. This is the way.

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the show. We have a tremendous episode for you today, a conversation with Dr. Eric Peeples. Dr. Eric is a keynote speaker, executive coach, and pastor, and we dive deep into what he is seeing out in the marketplace among leadership trends, how his most successful clients are using certain mindsets, certain leadership mindsets to dial in and to finish big with the projects they have in front of them. This is an absolutely phenomenal episode. If you are in a leadership position or ever wish to be in one, take notes, my friends.

As always, we don't run ads on this show. And all that I ask in return is that if you enjoy the content, share it with a friend, text it to somebody, email it to a colleague. And if you're feeling super froggy, leaving a rating and review on Spotify or Apple helps tremendously for new individuals such as yourself to find this show and understand exactly what we're talking about here and what we're trying to do. Get better, become the best version of ourselves, become focused, formidable finishers. My friends, I love you for listening to the show. Let's get on to Dr. Eric Peeples. Dr. Eric Peeples, my man.

I'm so excited to have you on the show. Dude, so good to be here with you, man. Love, love just what you're doing. Love the energy. So excited. Dude, I always know it's going to be a good conversation when I have to say, like, stop talking, like, let me hit record to be a good conversation when I have to say, like, stop talking. Like, let me hit record.

Like, you know what I mean? When we're like kicking it before we go live and we're just like crushing conversation and I have to like catch myself and go, this is like what we should be talking about because people are going to want to hear this. So, you know, I got to see you speak live. We got to spend, you know, probably 45 minutes chatting before you talked. I kind of caught you on the side at the event. And, dude, I just love your approach, your nature. Like, I'm always intrigued by guys who are confident, who are strong characters, strong-willed, strong in their beliefs, but at the same time have this humility and understanding and compassion for people.

And that's what immediately drew me into you. Not to just stroke your ego right off the rip. No, no, dude. Thank you so much. But I'm so impressed by the way that you handle yourself in those environments because I know, especially when you're a speaker, you're getting bombarded by people all over the place. And sometimes it can be, I don't want to say overwhelming, but it's just, you're trying to do your thing and you get all this stuff and you were just so generous with your time. And I just wanted to start the conversation by saying how much I

appreciated that. Well, it was, it was, you know, it's, uh, it was a joy to connect with you. And I think one of the things too, that works, uh, both ways in the sense of, you know, there's something dynamic when another leader who is a high achiever, who's going after it has curiosity. And when I say curiosity, not just kind of to curiosity to poke holes, but literally like you have a learning attitude that is it's, I love it. That's that to me. I, I think humility, if you're a learner a

lifelong learner humility is a part of the package you if you walk into a room and think uh I'm the you know I'm the biggest and baddest and I know everything then you're in the wrong room find another one because dude I I love learning so I appreciate what you're sharing I think that's a really good point I love that like I think one of the first descriptors on your Instagram profile is lifelong learner. Cause I'm the same exact way. I read ferociously a lot of different topics. I just love taking in information. And one of the things I actually had a conversation with a friend about this the other day, he said something similar. Like if you're, if you're the, you know, the alpha in the room or whatever, you're in the wrong room. And I said, well – I said I agree with that, and we always want to be surrounding ourselves with people who are going to push us.

But I also think there is something to the fact that you may think you're the alpha in the room, but there's always something you can learn from people, right? Like, like someone who's just starting out, well, they might just be starting out in this part of their life, but maybe, uh, they went through something when they were growing up or they're also a concert pianist on the side or whatever. And yeah, maybe like in a certain context, you're the alpha, but I feel like if we, like you said, approach all situations with curiosity and humility, there's, we can learn from everybody. And, uh, I think too often, uh, people hit a certain level of success or whatever, uh, knowledge or status. And it's like, well, you know, what could I possibly learn from that person? They're only doing X amount of revenue or their business is this, or they're only this old. And it's like, yeah, except everybody has these ridiculous, amazing stories. And you probably know this from your podcast, too.

And there's just so much you can learn from people. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I think that with that whole learning piece, it's just again, I just I think the just, you know, the older I get, the more experiences that I have, the places I go, I think there's the reality of being in a room and learning from life experiences and hearing what other people think. I think the gift of presence and listening and not just metacognition where you're listening and you already have an answer for what someone's saying. But when you're listening and you're really listening and someone can, you can say to person, I'm actually hearing you, you're making a statement or, Hey, tell me a little bit more of that. How did that happen? And I just, I'm always curious, you know, I'm on a plane a lot. And I said, I might say to someone like, Hey, so how'd you get

started? And it's never like, you know, you can, you're connecting the dots, but life is like this as rarely as it just linear. Right. And it's just, I love that. I, it's just, it's a, it's a joy to me to have the experiences. How do you, how do you cultivate presence in your life? Because, uh, I, and I've mentioned on the show, so the audience knows knows this but I have like diagnosed very high level ADHD and for a long time I was that guy who like you'd be on the last syllable of your last word of what I perceived was the last word of your sentence I'm already responding like on top of you right or like I'm trying to project how your sentence is going to finish in my head as I'm

listening to you and I can't wait to respond even if I'm incredibly interested in what you said. And I've had to really work hard, and actually part of my work on this podcast, even though I literally just did it to you, part of my work on this podcast has been trying – it's been like an exercise in trying to be a better listener and being more present in the moment. For someone that at least from the outside as an observer is very good at being present in the moment. How do you, do you work on it? Is there a practice? Is there, is it just something that you, do you prep yourself sometimes? Like I sometimes in the hotel room will like be present in this moment. Nothing else matters for the next two hours. You're going to go down, you're going to shake some hands, get to know what's going on, do your thing afterwards. You're going to listen to people, you know, whatever. Like,

I will like almost prep talk myself to be present in the moment. Do you have anything that you do like that? Or how have you cultivated that presence? I think there's two things. And that's a great question because oftentimes we live with such a high level of urgency that we don't have time to stop and smell the roses. We're kind of like, I'll just go into the store and buy some versus me stopping and actually looking at something living. And so one of the things that I train myself in just from being around older leaders who are brilliant, brilliant people, and that is every encounter I have with a person

is a treasure hunt. And so like me talking to you, I'm like, man, I, this guy, I love, you know, my attraction to your heart was for the heart for people. Like you want to help people win. And so when I hear that, I'm like, dude, I'm in. However, I can be a part of that story, that journey. Like that's easy for me. Now I can tell you that there've been lots of, um, you know, um, conversations, lots of like,

just, you know, people are like, Hey, I've got this big idea and it's bigger than a screen, right? So it's like crazy stuff. And you're like, um, yeah, but are you making a difference? Are you making it matter for others? And I think one of the, so that's, that's one, I'm just curious. I'm going to, I'm going to be with Ryan today and it's going to be a treasure hunt, man. He's going to say something that I'm going to take a note on and it's going to, it's going to spark that. And the other part, just from a real practical standpoint is, is that, uh, I that I actually, I have my ring on my wedding band and I will sit there and sometimes if it's flying, you know, conversation

with others, I will actually put my hand, my hand over my ring and I will spin it 15, 20 times just to make sure that I'm hearing what you're saying. Yeah. That I'm not engaging because I think you're at the end of your sentence or whatever. Because much like you, my mind works really quickly. And so I have to create pauses. Otherwise, I'll step on the moment versus add to it. Yeah. I read, I was reading Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now, which I highly recommend to everyone. I found the second half to be a little repetitive, but the first like 50 to 60% of the book is

just absolute pure gold for this particular topic. And in there, there was this idea of space, like building space between your response. And it's not just one so you can collect your thoughts and make sure that your response is thoughtful and something that you actually mean to say. But it also shows the other person it's respect for that other person in the conversation. Because when you finish, when that person finishes and you immediately jump in. Now, there's moments maybe you're with your buddies or your friends and you're all jacked up and you're telling stories. And that's a different environment. But when you're in a moment where you are trying to learn from someone and you are listening to them. And I've really tried to do this. I'm probably to, I'm probably going to mess it up a couple

times in the show. I'll forgive me for that. But, uh, what it does is it shows that other person, I care enough about you to, to delay my response and actually be thoughtful in how I respond to you. Because if you're listening to this, guys, one way that you can see it is how often when you first respond, do you correct that initial three, four words that you start with? Or do you say a few words and then almost repeat those couple words again before you get to your thought? that shows is i haven't actually collected myself enough to respond yet and which i've found i can be much more thoughtful in my responses when i try to build in even a beat just a just a beat and that person now they want to listen to you they

don't you know what i mean versus you know something something to say something to you and you respond and you can just tell they're just like, you know, I don't I don't care what you're saying. It's just it's an interesting it's such an interesting thing. The other thing in that book, and I apologize, I'm talking. I just want to get this out of my face. He's got this idea that I it makes perfect sense when you hear it. It's a little ethereal. So I do apologize to you guys if you're not into this kind of stuff, but I think it's valid.

He makes the very clear point early in the book that there is literally no such thing as the future or the past. It doesn't exist. All that exists is this moment right now with you and to spend every moment that we spend out in the future or back in the past is, is essentially a waste of time. Not that we shouldn't do self-reflection, not that we shouldn't do goal setting. Those are powerful things. But if I'm sitting here going, okay, I got to get through this conversation with Eric. And then I got this thing I got to do for this project over here. And now I'm not here with you. I'm not I'm not in this moment with you. I'm living in another time or place. And it doesn't allow you to be at your best.

Sounds like sports psychology. Yeah. You know, the last and especially working with some leaders in the field of with high achievers as it relates to sports. How do you the last miss you made the poor golf swing you took, you know, living some leaders in the field of, uh, with high achievers as it relates to sports. Um, how do you, the last miss you made the poor golf swing you took, you know, living in the presence, living in the now, um, that's, I think that's a very interesting thought. I also do believe in the time and energy that we invest in the moment is, um, heard it said, a professor told me, called it one time,

the gift of presence. And so I'm able to, it's not only is it me exchanging the gift of being present here, but I'm also receiving the gift of understanding, learning, curiosity, growth. And I think when you curate your respective relationships, you don't find yourself saying, wow, what a waste of time. Because you're living with such a high level of intentionality, not just from a give and take standpoint, but you're going, wait a second. are you tired of endless follow-ups and missed opportunities in your sales process chasing leads is a losing game that's why i created the one call close system a battle tested sales system that uses behavioral psychology to close

deals in just one call. No more, let me think about it. No more, I'll get back to you. Using the One Call Close System, we took new reps from 25% close ratio to over 80% in just three months. To grow fast, you must close deals faster at zero extra marketing cost. The One Call Close System To learn how. I'm going to be in the right room with the right people at the right time. And so being a good investor or even a good steward of my time and energy that curates the moment from being simply an opportunity, right? And being like distracted by those things to understand, wait, that's a distraction. This is a real opportunity because I'm in a room with curious people. I'm learning.

I'm growing. I'm developing. I'm adding value. And so the idea of past or present, I think that how you learn also has to be a part of that factor too. And that's just from a purely educational standpoint, some are organic learners, others are not. So, you know, we all can, we can write books with theories too. I mean, maybe it works in his world. Yeah.

And maybe for others too. Imagine what your life would be like if you were fully present in every moment, viewing it through the filter of opportunity. Like every moment, every interaction from the coffee that you're handed by a barista to the exchange of a Coke at the counter on a gas station or a conversation like this one. If you were fully present and passing it all through the filter of this, this is an opportunity. And maybe that opportunity is very small and nothing comes of it, but you don't know if you're always just projecting out or assuming you know, you know, I mean, that's the other thing. And I find that I sometimes, I guess in my past, I've worked very hard, especially as I accumulated more leadership positions. And really, that's where I want to take our conversation ultimately is into leadership. But was you by being by being present, you're able to fully grasp each opportunity as presented and dissect it for what it is.

And instead of what I did in the past was go, I already assume I know what Eric's going to say. So I'm just going to kind of plow through this instead of, man, I wonder where Eric's going to take this conversation today. Like, man, I can't wait to find out where we go. Like what branch of the brain or knowledge or experience are we gonna touch it like it's just a it's like this tiny little reframing but man it opens up the world and and that kind of leads me into into where I

wanted to go with you you you work with a tremendous number of high achievers all over the world you we were talking about a little before you've you know you're recently in Ecuador you're traveling to Brazil you're all over the country you know when I first met you, you were at a mastermind full, a room full of 100 of the some of the best minds in the insurance industry, high achievers. Like, I guess, what is the state of leadership today? When you're when you were talking about high achievers, the individuals, the men and women that are just they're dialed in their teams behind them, things are going well. What is the state of that leader today?

What does that look like? I think that's a really great question because we all have internal pressure going on and external pressures that are going on. And so depending upon your vertical market, what I am seeing is it depends on the pressures that people are actually, I wouldn't even say under, but I would say the pressures they're responding to. And so one of the things I love doing in my travel is I love helping leaders lead. I love helping them win and focus and finish strong. And one of those pieces is, uh, in winning is, uh, you know, what's important now. And so the, I would say the universal struggle, uh, when the pressure's on is becoming, uh, living from in a silo, living in isolation,

uh, your own, um, even, uh, I would say it's, it's almost like you're, it's not cocooning. It's just, um, running hard after, uh, running hard after things. And, and so some of the questions that are popping up and I'm running hard, uh, after things, and that could either be you're acquiring stuff. That's also a knee-jerk reaction sometimes. I have less of a problem with people going after stuff because you can always sell it than where you're burning your life and time. You can always make more money, but you can't make more time. And so I'm watching the burn ratio. And so I'll say this. From a professional standpoint, I'm seeing people

who are struggling with the intergenerational disconnect. You know, the average 35-year-old is spending as much time on video games as a 15-year-old now. People are after, you know, on their social media, you know, show the best, hide the rest. 34% of our population is dealing with, has been interviewed, said, surveyed, that they wrestle with loneliness once a week. Some people think about being lonely once a week, and 10% say they wrestle with loneliness every day. So this isn't like, you know, Joe Average, I'm talking about people who are moving the dial in some form or fashion. And so when you think about how that's directly connected to the pressures I was to winning is it's, it's the misalignment with what's important now. What's important now from a 30, a 40 year old is different than what's important now for a 60 year old. And so I think it's, it's those having those moments of clarity

where we really come to grips with in our lives where we're going, I need to make sure that I'm around, again, I'm a big proponent about the right relationships. I'm around people that can challenge me to curate my moments. Like, for instance, do you need to go to Hawaii for a month? Or should you go to Hawaii for two weeks because that's where you're going to be best reached? It can sound really granular, but that's where the crazy decisions are made when you're talking to yourself. And I'll say this and let you go here. One of the things I found about Eric Peebles is that when I have a conversation with myself, me, myself, and I, I'm always right.

I've never had a bad idea that I haven't thought, dude, you know what? And without talking to someone else, I'm like, that's a great idea. Sometimes it's not. So who are you talking to to help create friction? Friction's good. To focus on what it is you say you're after. So there's a bunch of questions that I have in there. The first one is specifically about loneliness. And this can be in your work and your personal feelings, however you want to answer. Part of me, so I like being alone. I enjoy it. I have two kids.

I have a decent number of friends. I have a woman who I've been seeing for a little more than a year now and it's a great relationship and everything is good. I love spending time with her. But at the same time, I really enjoy being alone and that wasn't always the case. That's something that I've worked on and whatever. Do you think that some of the feelings of loneliness are a misalignment with what spending time with yourself really is or people aren't doing the work. Part of it to me is, can we reframe loneliness as positive time spent with ourself? And is it maybe culturally we've lost the skill of being alone?

Okay, I'll say it this way, and I'm reminded my wife tells me to don't make two points, make sure you finish the second one, because otherwise I get hung up on the first one. But the first one is there's a difference between loneliness and solitude. What you're speaking about is solitude. You've got all these other relational factors that make you who you are. So there's a giving out, right? You're pouring out. You're giving out.

You're responsible for things. You've recognized that responsibility. And so now you're saying, I need some me time, which is healthy. Most people don't have me time because they don't like me time. And what I'm talking about is they don't like themselves. And when you don't like yourselves, then the sound of silence is the echo of your misalignment. Dissatisfaction is so loud that you start putting and pulling things into your life. You create a vacuum by nature because you're trying to fill it with something. And so you hear the words fulfilled.

I'm not fulfilled. Well, you know what? Fulfillment is, I think, is directly connected to even the seasons of your life. I remember for my, you know, you said you're two boys. You know, I know. God, did you say something? No. Okay, I know the funny part about it.

It's like fulfilled. I remember when my daughter was 14 months old and fulfillment was her sleep with you tonight. We're like, oh, man. It's like rest is a weapon. Sleep deprivation is used for torture. Over 50 hours to 70, you're cracking. You're telling everything. And so in the season you're in, what does it look like for you to live a fulfilled life?

Well, you've just find what's important now. So now let's focus on that. How do we get there? How do we get from here to there? And so if you if so, loneliness is the sense of unfulfillment. Solitude is where you're able to rest, reflect. And even an attitude of gratitude is, is that thread is we throughout the conversation.

And so, you know, uh, there, there's a, there's a, I think there's a major, there's, there's this, uh, disconnect when people are, are you lonely? Well, most people who say they're lonely or burnt out, well, you're giving energy to the wrong things. And the drive to not disappoint people is dangerous. Yeah. One thing that helped me in this area was I've been described as a disagreeable person. And I used to take that as a negative negative and i did a lot of reading on this and actually uh there's a guy um his name's eric weinstein i don't know if you've heard him or

he's uh i'd say he's a intellectual to a certain extent he's a physics guy math guy and he does a lot of podcasts and stuff and i really fell in love with his work and he he talked about on this show and this was like a year or two ago that i that i heard this he talked about his relationship to his disagreeableness and he's like we have we've we've developed a we've developed a false narrative around what it means to be disagreeable. And what he said was questioning things,

having your own opinion, understanding and being okay with I could have an opinion that I share with you today that you could just say I hear you, I don have an opinion that I share with you today that you could just say, I hear you. I don't agree. And technically that pushback is, is disagreeableness in the purest sense of the context, but it's, am I going to be okay with this person that I respect, enjoy and care about

disagreeing with opinion I have. And I am, you am. And it took a long time to get there. And my point in this little diatribe is that when you start to become okay, I think a lot of that loneliness, that sense of being alone is I want – I need everyone to like me and agree with me and I need to agree with them and everything needs to be okay and happy and fun. And it's like, that is just simply not life. And in fact, when you start to be okay with the fact that I can enjoy someone, care about someone, and we could have two or three things that we just intrinsically disagree about. And that's perfectly fine. All of a sudden you start

to go, oh, like I'm not alone. That person likes me. We're connected. We just disagree on this one topic over here, which is perfectly fine because there's like 17 other topics we agree on. And we like don't we don't focus on all the things that we do agree on that we shared values we have. We tend to focus on that one value that we disagree on. And then that creates this disconnect. And now all of a sudden we're like, we're isolated and by ourselves. And I just don't think we talk about that type of stuff because coming all the way back to leadership, I mean, geez, you know, and can speak to it even more than I can. Like when you're a leader there, everybody's going to disagree with

you about something you say, right? I mean, that's part of the job. It is. And one of the big challenges that we face is that when you think that leadership is a popularity contest, then there's two things that happen. I'm going to say two things that happen, and I'm going to actually say the two. Number one is you're not being true to yourself. But number two, the people who think they know you have actually never met you. Imposter syndrome.

Well, I don't want to say this because what happens if I get in trouble? Well, what does happen if you get in trouble? Now, again, I think there's a difference as far as I ask also pre-qualified people in the conversations. I ask them, hey, so I don't say, tell me your toughest moment. I go, have you ever played a sport? And depending upon what the sport is, like what did you play? Baseball? Baseball, yeah.

Okay, baseball. So let's see. I mean, can you count how many times you got hit by a ball? I mean, come on. I mean, that's a part of it. And the thing is that you have a resolve that you didn't quit. You did not win every game you played. And so there's a disconnect even in the leadership development process now.

There's the push of followership development process versus leadership development process. One of the folks who mentors me has had a lot of influence is John Maxwell. You know, for me, I'm okay, if you will, with understanding my inadequacies because I know I need to grow. I know I need to learn. Then I'm not threatened by you saying that you don't think I'm enough. That's okay. It doesn't matter. You know, I'm picking at pickleball.

I don't know why I'm picking at pickleball. Everyone says don't play it. But I'm an aggressive person. I play sports. I play football, which is full contact, right? And I'm thinking, I said, I'm going to learn how to play pickleball in kind of the back 40 because I know I played racquetball, table tennis. I played racquet sports, and I just love golf. I love the part of just full on, full tilt, right?

And so, like, I've got to know my audience, but I also need to know me. Learning the game, the different pieces of it. But when you are an athlete, I think there's a part of the mix in your life as a leader where you understand what it means to lose, having the resolve to get back up, and also making the decision. Like, you know what? The only thing I didn't lose, I'm learning. So I, football was my, baseball is learning so I uh football was my baseball is my love but football was my favorite sport so I was uh I had a scholarship to play football in college and I got three concussions my senior season and it ended my football career yeah um but what I loved about football in particular uh and baseball has a lot of this too but i'm similar to you it was like all those societal uh uh governors that we have to put on our personality to like integrate into

like you know rational human like niceness in football you can take you can turn all those governors off and you just get to be a hundred percent aggressive and what what i think you know what we miss when we watch highlight reels or we look at our favorite stars is we look at the great catch or throw or tackle and we don't see how the play before that linebacker who got the sack on the highlight reel the play before they got blindsided by a guard that they didn't see, and they were picking themselves up off the ground. You know what I mean?

And they got drool coming out of their mouth and blood, and they're kind of like shaking it off. Yet they turn around, get the play call, get back in their position, and then they make the highlight reel play. And you're forced, at least from my experience, I've never played sports like rugby and some of the others that are also full contact, but you are forced to say, all this pain I feel is not going to stop me from the goal that I have in whatever the position is I play in that particular sport. It translates, I do think

it translates to a lot of different sports, a lot of different things. But in particular, I find football players get one. They get this like meathead tag, which is, I think, completely false. If anyone who's played the game, you cannot be a meathead. You can act like a meathead, but you are not a meathead. The meatheads don't make it. And, you know, I think they act like meatheads because it's fun. Who doesn't want to act that way?

But it, uh, but like in regard, they're all, you know, the most successful are incredibly, incredibly intelligent individuals. And, you know, you, you are going to get knocked down. Not like, oh, I didn't make this sale, like literally knocked to the ground and have to pick yourself back up and re-engage in the game. And if you have an ounce of hesitation, you are going to get knocked back down to the ground again until you lose that piece of you. And I think that type of mentality is what we need to have as leaders today is like it's OK. Like, you know, we look at I'm listening listening to Walter Eisenstein's biography of Elon Musk,

right? And I love Elon Musk. I think he has an incredible number of personality traits that I think could be questioned. However, this is an individual who at the, in the purest sense has been knocked to the ground so many times and he just keeps getting back up and that's how he got to be there it also allows a little craziness and a willingness to destroy his personal life and all these other things but but i just it's like we've lost we've lost aggression do you agree with that like we we've we've made aggression into this toxic thing that.

I don't think it has to be. It can be toxic. And I don't mean yelling and being a jerk, but there's an aggressive nature to leadership that I feel like has been has been. I don't know. Just put in this box of bad. And I just, I don't know how to break it out, I guess. I think you're on, you're onto something because it also too is understanding the audience. You know, it's people who, you know, if we were sitting in a room listening to a leader share about all the wins they've had, our curiosity would be sparked. Tell me about your failures. Tell me about the challenges. You didn't get from here to there without some valleys, some potholes, some challenges, some pick yourself up, dust yourself off. You didn't even get there by just picking yourself up. There are others who helped you get up and to move. And that, you know, that just blows up the fallacy of self-made man. No, there's some resolve and

determination that you have to have when it's obvious what your assignment is. And I'm a, you know, as a person of faith, understanding purpose, it is what I know why I get up in the morning. I know what I'm after. I love helping leaders lead. But there also is that part, the vetting process inside of me that says, you know what? You've got to want it. If I want what you want more than you, then I'm wasting my time. But if I can throw gas on a fire, if I can open a door for you or connect you with someone you need to know, then hey, awesome.

I'm excited to be a part of it. And this domestication of the leadership approach, I think is a great fallacy. And in some ways, why many aren't winning. And when I'm talking about winning, I'm not just talking about, hey, winning, what's important now in the sense of like, I'm talking about winning overall, where the grand scheme of things you're able to say, this is the target, this is what I'm after, and I'm finishing

well, where people, it's undisputed. You know, people can say whatever they want to about Elon Musk, but the bottom line is, is that he's winning. In some form or fashion, he's winning in a way that others would want to. Yeah. And I think it's perfectly reasonable to say, I don't want his life. I don't want his life. No. He's even said, you don't want my life.

However, to throw out everything, and I had a, I hate when I do this, but I had this online argument about Elon Musk with a guy, which I – whatever. And he's saying what has he ever achieved, and I'm like – and I'm like I get it. What it ultimately came down to was he didn't like his personality. And it's like, OK, I can appreciate that you don't like his personality. His personality doesn't really bother me that much. I wouldn't want his life i you know i wouldn't want that but how can you deny results right and i had a podcast guest um and i'm gonna butcher his last name rajiv i apologize it's rajiv peshwara rajiv peshwara if you go back he he he his shtick is, and I don't mean shtick in a negative way, is positive autocratic leadership. And he got there because he was doing a survey for some client, and it came back that over 16,000 responses,

they had like a what would you want in a leader and all these characteristics, like a personality test, but what you would want of a leader. And it came back unequivocally, more than 20 countries, 16,000 plus responses that an autocratic leader like Steve Jobs or Elon Musk is what people want to follow. And I found it so intriguing because everything we read today is, you know, this nice kind of beta personality and everybody's equal and all this kind of stuff. And I those are come from good places. I don't mean those to be to downgrade those. But at the end of the day, we need someone who's got a vision and we believe is gonna pull the ship you know you see these you know great leaders you know stand behind their team and and uh poor leaders stand out in front i'm like i don't think that's true i think

i think great leaders do stand out front and they act as the tip of the spear they they deflect all that they take all the fodder. They take all the hits and the flack so that their team can be amazing. If you're standing behind them, they're taking that crap. And I want that guy

or gal who's going to be like, screw everyone. We're going. Like, you know, we're going to get bloodied and beaten and yelled at.

But at the end of the day, we're going to get to this place that we all want to go to. And it takes a little bit of like, like o like guts, like a little bit of Angela Duckworth's grit. Like you need this. And I just feel like we don't cultivate it enough anymore. I think cultivation for, I would say, for leaders to lead requires someone giving an opportunity and taking a risk. And it also requires failure. And so what ends up happening is, again, that whole idea of domestication as far as leaders, we, we, you know, it's, it's that part

where we, and I think that also there's that, there's that it can be generational, but also to, from a global standpoint, there's lots of nations and people and cultures that that is not the mindset. The mindset is very much along the lines of, of my ceiling is your floor. So if I'm going to help launch you into your next now, then I've got to tell you the truth. I can't pretend that you're not going to take some hits. You're not going to take some shots. That's a part of the mix. When's the last time you went to buy a car and you asked them, does it go on a windshield? No, it comes with a windshield. It comes with tires. It comes with a challenge. And you know what? Before you drive a lot, you have to have insurance.

Because they're betting you do have an accident, and you're betting you don't. No, you're betting. You're like, I'm going to have an accident. No, no, no. They're betting you don't. And so we have challenges. We have stuff. And, you know, I just look at this and I go, if we want to be people who impact the future, then we've got to act like it. We've got to have

the conversations. You know, I've said to my leaders, I'm not here for your comfort. I work with, and I don't say that trying to, as an ogre or trying to be, but I will not be, I would say, domesticate in a sense of saying, listen, you know, I work with people who, it's like live fire. I work with warriors. I work with people who are all about life to the floor. And so for me, having conversations like, come on, come on people. They don't need to be amped up. They are. They don't need to be, they need to understand their big deal is loyalty. Their big deal is we are committed to the cause to win.

And here's the other part, whatever it costs. I think some of the things you're saying, if I had to sum it up, I'd say the challenges right now, we're dealing with people who have counted the cost and they think it'd be better for Ryan to pay than for me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Slightly, I want to, something you said just spurred a question that I'm interested in and you can answer however you want or not answer it if you feel uncomfortable. But, you know, you said man of faith, myself as well.

I wear a cross, a tattooed cross on my arm. I actually have two crosses on my arm. I very much, faith is a big part on my arm. I actually have two, two cross on my arm. Um, I, I, I very much, um, uh, faith is a big part of my life. And I'm interested in your take on, uh, like free will versus fate as someone who strives to be the best version of themselves. Where do you stand on that particular idea? You know, I think one of the, if I understand it correctly, just free will, you're saying, you know, whatever happens, happens. And then there's the other side that is, I'm going to do this because I have the faith for it. Is that what you mean? I mean,

is our outcome in life predetermined or do we have the ability to dictate the outcome? Okay, so you're talking about, so from a theological standpoint, it's called predestination by foreknowledge. But anyway, I think it's really interesting, that question, because, you know, I've lived long enough where there were enough people that didn't believe in me that caused me to question what I felt that was burning in me. And now when I look down the line 30 years later, they were wrong, I was right. I can't say I wasted my time,

but I'm so grateful for those challenges, or if you even would say the resistance. Friction is good. Friction is how we drive our cars. Friction is how we fly planes. It's friction. And so the idea of being a purpose-driven person, which I believe is important, and being purpose-driven, again, in my world that I live from, is not just acquiring things, but it's impacting people. You know, just among the other things I do,

there's time. I just did a funeral three weeks ago. A guy said, hey man, can you do my mother's funeral? You know, nothing she said towards her last hours was I wish I had more stuff. It was always more time

or I wish I could have talked to this person. And you know, when you begin to think about that whole free will, I think that a lot of folks, that's a really great card to cash when we just don't want to take responsibility. And I, you know, where we just were kind of like, you know what, I don't want to have to pay the price. I don't want to have to attach. It's not even a belief system, but I just want to do my own thing. What will be, what will be, will be. I can't imagine living like that because it's like pop all the hope balloons. As a person of faith, again, it's getting clarity on why you live. I live to help people win. I

want to help you win. I don't care if it's riding your bicycle, man. I'll be out there and put training wheels on that thing. We'll start with tricycle. Like what's our goal? Let's go. Because most people who live from the place of it being all about self-requirement, 50 years after your death, no one will even remember you. That's powerful. That's brutal. That's frightening. And that's taking into consideration. Again, I've, you know, I got my doctorate organization leadership. Do I study all this stuff? How did the mom and pop shops that started 50 years ago, they don't exist anymore. How'd they get gobbled up by big box companies? Well, there was something to be said and, and,

and more and more that's, that's uncommon because, uh, uncommon in the sense of something being lasting 100 years. But if you go to Japan, they have a 100-year business plan. Oh, man, what's that all about? They think intergenerational. And so when we start putting into the mix of free will and other things. I haven't heard a lot of that thinking stay connected to generational wealth. The long game, oftentimes it's been filled, the folks I've actually worked with along those lines, it's been filled with a lot of regret because they didn't count the cost fully. But when you step up, I say step out,

when you're living by faith, as a person living by faith, yeah, there's a part of disappointment. Yes, there's challenges that go through, but you know, that come, that happen. But ultimately at the end of the day, you can say I did the best I could versus I tried. Now try means something in horseshoes and grenades,

but the best I could might make me jump on top of that grenade. I had a coach in high school on a baseball team. I played in a very high-level baseball team, and we were struggling in the middle of the season, and a lot of it was just we weren't getting along as a team, kind of playing for ourselves. And he said, this is a guy that also smoked a cigar on third base as he was coaching third base. So understand the time period that we're in. He goes, you sons of bitches, you're not just playing for the name on the front of the jersey.

You're playing for the name on the front of the jersey. You're playing for the name on the back. And what he meant by that was every action you take out here isn't just a reflection of you or this team. It's a reflection of your parents. It's a reflection of your siblings, of the grandparents that come watch you play, of the cousins that come watch you play. Like you're playing for more than just yourself or this team. You're playing for everyone who supports you, who cares about you. Because if you act like a clown out here, that reflects on them.

And that has stuck with me. I don't think I had – I probably – I was probably 16 at the time. I probably hadn't thought that deeply about it. But when he said that, it shut every single guy in that dugout up. We went on to go all the way. We lost a tough game in the state championship, but we went on to turn our season around, played amazing. I'm telling you, you could have heard a pin drop.

Not a single guy in that team had probably ever heard something like that said that way and explained in that way. And I'm paraphrasing a little bit and there were way more curse words. But it was it was like this moment where I to what you said, like, when in America do we lose generational thinking? Like, when do we stop saying I'm not living for me or just me? I'm living for my kids. I'm living for my kids' kids so that I can instill lessons in them.

I can set them up through whatever, however I feel I need to do that so that they then can be in a position to take care of their children and their children and on we go. Like when do we lose that? I don't know the answer, but it feels like we have to a certain extent. I think the word that comes to my mind is, and I talk about this often, is responsibility, right? There's this part where your coach was speaking to you all, and you took responsibility, and you'd break that word up, response ability. You have the ability to decide right there. I am empowered to make a decision right now for my future, for my friends, for my family, for my people, who I represent, and I'm going to represent them well.

And so when you look over, you know, just over generations in the past, probably 50 years, even maybe more, maybe 75, actually, there was a pivot from, well, it's not out of my hands. You know, we've got, we've got shareholders to care for. We've got, we've got, I have to do this and I've got to make the cut. I'm sorry because it's, and so that responsibility as if, you know, like some, it gets lost in translation. Like no one has the ability to make me mad. I choose to be mad. I have, I have a response ability. My response to someone's ignorance doesn't mean I've got to escalate I can say you know what uh and I'll say something simple a couple days ago I'm in the supermarket I'm waiting in line I took the took there's a you know you take the ticket for your waiting line at the deli and

and there was a stack of numbers on the top and I took with a number from off the top and and I'm standing there and the guy says uh 98 and I had been standing and the guy says, uh, 98. And I had been standing by the, the deli guy says 98. I've been sitting next to a guy for probably five minutes just waiting. He's 98. And the guy looks at his, I said, I said to him, what number are you? He goes, I'm 99. I go, you were here before me. So I switch, he can switch with him.

I take 99. He's like, wow. It's very, it was very kind of you. Like, thank, thank you. Like he was, he was in shock. Remember back in the day when that was just normal? Like, literally, I'm like, what happened? What happened to just not decency and consideration?

When you're convinced that you actually have to fight for everything you get all the time, that no one's going to ever take care of you. You've got to take care of you to such a level where, you know, if we had the Titanic happen nowadays, who knows who would be in the boat because of the fighting, the craziness would be going on because we think that our moments right here are the most amazing moments ever. I would say this, you know how your moments will be measured 50 years from now when your grandchildren are talking about you and your kids' kids are talking. It's like,

I remember what dad, man, this experience. I remember that guy, Ryan, man, it was so powerful. I had this moment in my business. I thought it was all over. And he said something to me that was amazing. Let's make our moments count. That's what's missing, I think. And today, we're not taking. Our responsibility is like, I live in victimhood. And I live from a place of, I'm not empowered.

No, you are empowered. You have to choose. Dr. Eric Peebles, my friends. it is such a pleasure. Oh my gosh, I could go for hours. I'm stopping here only because I could talk for another two hours with you. Easy. This is amazing. It's giving me fodder. We'll do this again in six months or so, bring you back on the show. Hey, I'd love to. I just enjoy your viewpoint on the world. I think your approach, as I started with, is this really wonderful and needed mix today of passion and strength mixed with humility and understanding. And I think we need more people like you out doing what you do. Where can people connect with you and go deeper down the rabbit hole in your work?

Well, you can find me, Eric Peoples Leadership Podcast. That's one of them. And I can't wait to have you on mine. It's going to be awesome. Stay tuned. I got a new assistant. Yay. Coming, yes.

And also ericpeoples.co. That's my Instagram handle. But you can find me through podcast, Instagram. And stay tuned. I'm looking forward. Hey, back. It would love to be back in six months to tell you more about the book we're writing. It's going to be awesome for sure.

Done deal. Hey. Thank you so much. I wish you all the best, my friend. Hey, my friend. Honored to be with you. Thanks again. Let's go.

Yeah. Make it look. Make it look. Make it look easy. Thank you for listening to The Ryan Hanley Show. Be sure to subscribe and leave us a comment or review wherever you listen to podcasts. Close twice as many deals by this time next week. Sound impossible? It's not. With the One Call Close system, you'll stop chasing leads and start closing deals in one call. This is the exact method we used to close 1,200 clients in under three years during the pandemic.

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