The Ryan Leak Podcast - Ask Hole

Episode Date: July 14, 2025

In this episode, Ryan breaks down the hilarious but honest concept of an "ask hole", someone who constantly asks for advice but never takes action. Inspired by a phrase he heard from a friend, Ryan dives into why learning something and actually applying it are two very different things. He unpacks the psychological reasons people confuse knowledge with growth and offers practical steps to stop the cycle. If you want to be the kind of person mentors are excited to pour into, this episode is for you. It's a no-fluff call to execute, follow through, and show up ready to grow. To subscribe to weekly encouraging texts from Ryan, text "podcast" to 469-809-1201.

What's going on, my friends? Welcome to the Ryan League podcast where we keep things short and sweet. Why do we do that? One, I don't have that much time in my week to be recording podcasts. Number two, a lot of the feedback I've gotten from people is that you don't get that much time either. So here we are with some short and sweet nuggets that we just try to figure out ways to have value to your life every single week. Now, I have to say, today, I'm going to be talking about something that is going to sound offensive. Okay, I just want to set expectations from the very beginning.

And I want you to get today's episodes correct spelling down. Okay, like, you must not misspell today's episode. Like, if you're sharing this with a friend and say, hey, I just heard this podcast. podcast episode from Ryan League. You got to listen to it. I just want to make sure that you say it correctly, spell it correctly, because I'm going to teach you a phrase that I learned from a friend of mine and pastor. Her name is Amy Dockery. She used this phrase years ago, so I did not coin this phrase. I heard it from her. And ever since it has become a staple in my professional vocabulary. And that phrase is simply this. Ask whole. Okay. Ask with a K

hole. Like ask a question whole like in the ground. Ask hole. What's an ask hole? An ask hole is someone who ask you for advice on the same thing over and over and over again, but they never actually listen to that advice. They never actually change anything. They want advice, but they often lack the courage. They want advice, but they often lack the discipline. They want advice, but they often lack the humility or initiative to actually do anything with it. In fact, they may not really be looking for mentorship. Sometimes they're looking for affirmation. They want someone who is further ahead of them in life or in business, and they want that person to affirm where they are. Sometimes they may just want attention. And so today,

I'm going to tell you this as kindly and as truthfully as I possibly can. Don't be an askal. Don't, don't be an askill. Here's a deal. We are living in a golden age right now. And it is a golden age of information overload. You can find 100 strategies for winning your morning on Instagram. before you even get out of bed. You can binge leadership podcasts. You can watch TED Talks during lunch. You can read business books on the elliptical. But here is the psychological trap.

And there's actually a name for what's happening to us. It's called the illusion of competence. That's right, the illusion of competence. And this can be a really tough pill to swallow, but some researchers refer to it as knowledge overestimation. and to translate this, what they're saying is is you feel like you're getting better at something

just because you're learning about it. I'll say it again. Sometimes what this illusion of competent is saying about us is it makes us feel like we're getting better at something just because we're learning about it. But just because you read the book, watch the reel or say, wow, that's good. It doesn't mean you've changed.

It's possible to be high on information but broke on transformation. You don't get points for knowing. You get points for doing. There's nothing more frustrating for a mentor than sitting with an ask hole who's asking for advice they refuse to act on. Everybody wants a mentor. Not everybody wants to be the kind of person that mentors look forward to mentoring. You want to get a mentor's attention? show them a return on investment go do something with what they have shared with you if you want to

be mentored i think you should prepare five meaningful questions you can ask them and follow up three months later with results and i'm going to give you an example today again we want to have value to your life we want to give you some practical takeaways from today's episodes and so today i'm going to give you five questions that i believe can be engaging questions that you can ask a mentor, somebody that you look up to, somebody that you're wanting to get some wisdom from, some advice from. Question number one, what's it cost to be you? And what's a price I should be paying right now to grow over the next year? Yeah, what's it cost to be you? You might admire them from a distance, but you don't actually know what it

cost to be them every single day. And so it's a question that you should really find out an answer to to see if you can afford to be the person you think you want to be. Question number two. What's something you used to really care about that you could care less about today? This is an interesting question because you want to find out from this person you admire if you are rowing in the wrong direction. For example, I have mentors that used to care about followers. Now they could care less.

Something changed. And so in the process of building something, you want to make sure that you're building, it in a way that your future self will be proud of. Question number three, what's the question you wished people asked you more? Yeah, sometimes successful people can be surrounded by individuals who ask the same questions and sometimes they're sitting there going, but you're asking the wrong question. So, for example, people ask me all the time, hey, how do I get on more stages? And I think you're asking the wrong question. The question you should be asking is,

how can I add more value to people? If you ask that question, well, that'll lead you to a place that will eventually put you on more stages because you're adding value to people's lives. Question number four. What's the most overlooked but essential habit you practice? You want to know, hey man,

what's going on behind the scenes that I would never see or people would never suspect, and maybe that's something that I can add to my tool belt, to my repertoire. And question number five, what would you do if you were in my shoes for the next 90 days? What would you do if you were in my shoes for the next 90 days? In case you're not taking notes, these will be in the show notes for you anyways. But when you ask the question, what would you do if you were in my shoes for the next 90 days,

you should then go do exactly that? and then 90 days later shoot them a thank you email a DM a phone call hey i just wanted to let you know i actually applied what you told me and here's what happened that my friend is how you become memorable this is how you value their time when you show up prepared mentors will want to give you more of their time in fact i heard the story the other day that someone once landed an interview with warren buffett one of the richest people in the world and apparently they did their home homework, they found out that this man loved Cherry Coke and sees candies. He even owns a piece of the company, ironically.

But nevertheless, instead of walking in with a resume or a pitch deck, they walked in with his favorite candy. And he was scheduled to give them 10 minutes, and they got an hour. Why? Preparation, thoughtfulness, action, somebody that did. The kind of person that does that kind of homework is the kind of person that has has what it takes to succeed in business. My friend, do not be an ask hole.

Don't just collect advice like it's Pokemon cards. Don't just nod and say, yeah, that's good. And keep living the same story on repeat. Your mentors aren't Netflix. They're not there to entertain you. They're there to help you go to the next level. And if you are willing to do the work, you'd be surprised who will give you their.

time. So today's short and sweet nugget of inspiration is, well, apply what you've learned. Execute on what you've asked for. Respect the investment. Be worth the mentorship. If somebody is giving you the time of day, honor them. Honor that time by going and doing something with it because the world doesn't need more know-it-offs. The world needs more do it anyways. Oh, the kinds of people. people that said, man, I got some advice that was really, really hard to pull off, but guess what? I did it anyways. When you do that, you'd be surprised who would be more than willing to give you their time and attention? My friends, thank you so much for listening to today's episode.

And if today's episode inspired you and did not offend you by calling you and ask cold, please don't keep it to yourself, share it with a friend. And hey, it would mean the world to me if you take a moment to rate, review, and subscribe. Your support helps us reach even more people with these and sweet nuggets of inspiration. Thanks for being a part of the journey, and we'll see you next time.