The Ryan Leak Podcast - No One Wins The Blame Game

Episode Date: July 28, 2025

In this episode, Ryan shares why one of the best days of your life is the day you stop playing the blame game. He unpacks how blaming others,even when they’re truly at fault, won’t move your life forward.With a powerful story, some surprising research, and real-talk motivation, Ryan challenges you to take back the pen and start writing your next chapter. Because someone else might be responsible for how you got here, but only you can decide where you go next. Text ‘podcast’ to 469-809-1201 to start receiving weekly motivational texts from Ryan.

Hello, my friends. Welcome to the Ryan League podcast where we keep things short and sweet for you. We do episodes around 10 minutes-ish, short and sweet, super practical, want to give you something each and every week that we believe can add value to your life. Now, one of the biggest passions in my life is helping people get unstuck. I love being able to help people overcome specific hurdles that are keeping them from growing, that are keeping them from becoming a better leader, that's keeping them from having better relationships, things that are keeping them from actually enjoying their life. And one of the top things that I've discovered that holds people back over and over and over again, is the blame game. Yeah, the blame game. And when people play it, I get it. It feels like you're making

sense of your story. Right? It's like, okay, I've got to figure out what is the symptom here. I've have to figure out the root problem. And if I could just figure out somebody to blame, well, then maybe I can make sense of my story. But in reality, I believe it is what. one of the sneakiest ways that we stay stuck. So today, we are going to talk about one of the greatest days of your life. And I'm not talking about your wedding day. I'm not talking about a day that you had your first child. I'm not talking about a day that you got a raise or that you bought your first house. I am talking about perhaps a quiet, unseen, ordinary Tuesday kind of day. and that is the day that you stop playing the blame game.

The blame game is one of the most exhausting, unproductive games that you and I play all the time. And it's like we are pros at it. We are professionals when it comes to the blame game. We blame our boss for not recognizing our value. We blame our spouse for not supporting our dreams. We blame our parents for what they didn't give us. We blame our kids for why we're always tired. We blame society.

Whoever is president, our ex, our upbringing, our school, our church, our past. And here's it. I get it. The reason I get it is because sometimes we're right. Sometimes it is their fault. They are to blame. It was unfair. It was somebody else's decision that ultimately hurt us. It was somebody else who truly let us down and just left us disappointed.

But I just got to tell you something this week. Even if that's true. Blaming them. will not help you grow. I promise you that. Blaming them is not going to help you grow. I get that it was your dad's fault. I get it. I get it that that pastor totally mishandled that situation. I get it. I get it. I get it. But blaming them isn't going to help you grow. It might help you vent. It might feel good to get it off your chest, but it most certainly will not build your future. Because the moment you hand blame to someone else, you're also handing them control. You're saying until they change, I can't move forward. Yeah,

yeah, until they get their act together, unless they apologize, unless, unless, unless, unless, unless, they, unless they, and now you're stuck. And I just think my friend, my friend, friend, it's a trap and I want you to be able to move on and enjoy your life. We recently met a friend who actually trains my kids in basketball. And when I heard her story, I was so inspired. Essentially, she grew up in a rough home, but she's pretty good at basketball and was on an AAU team. And she ended up having to move out of her house.

and her coach actually took her in and then her coach got a promotion to Dallas where we live now and she said, cool, I'm coming with you. And it was like, wait, what? You can't just do that and she's like, actually, I can. And it's just so cool to see her now. She's now playing college basketball in San Antonio, putting herself through school,

taking summer classes, working a couple of jobs. And that's exactly what she wasn't supposed to do, given her upbringing. but she just made a decision that she was going to take responsibility for her own life. In fact, there's a study that was published in the Journal of Positive Psychology, and it found that people who practice something called personal responsibility orientation, that when they practice this, this is basically people who believe they're in control of their own outcomes, they report higher levels of life satisfaction, greater motivation, more goal achievement,

and better relationships. On the flip side, people who consistently blame others, they experience more anxiety, less joy, and they stay stuck longer. So if you're wondering why you're not growing. Why your life feels stalled. Check your blame game. It might be the thing that's holding you back and here's a deal. I get it. Some people had a terrible childhood. Some of us were handed very little. We were not set up to succeed and nobody showed us how and nobody was there for us. But that doesn't give us a reason to stay stuck. My friend, stop blaming other people for your bad decisions. Stop blaming somebody else for your lack of ambition. Stop blaming your boss, your spouse, your parents, even if it's their fault. The blame game doesn't help you grow. I get that a terrible childhood can produce a challenging

adulthood. But don't let that be an excuse for why you can't grow for there are people in your world who had no parents, bad parents, who had it rough, and it wasn't fair, and they had no help, they had no mentor, and despite their challenges, still made some good decisions to grow. Someone else might be responsible for how you got where you are. But the greatest day of your life is when you take full responsibility for your future. There are people in this world who have been abused, overlooked, underestimated, and yet they still showed up to therapy. They still took a night class.

They still forgave. They still healed. They still got better, not because life got easier, but because they stopped waiting for someone. else to change and decided to take ownership of their own life and take ownership of their next step. I'm going to say this one more time. Someone else may be responsible for how you got where you are, but you are responsible for where you go next. In the moment that you make that shift in your mindset, the moment you stop blaming your boss, that you stop blaming your parents, you stop blaming your ex,

You stop blaming the company. You stop blaming the country. And you say, all right, this part's on me. This is the moment. Everything starts to change. That's the day you stop playing the blame game. That's the day the victim becomes the leader. That's the day you stop surviving and you actually start building a life that you can look forward to.

So here's what I want to challenge you with today. I want you to ask yourself, where am I still blaming someone? Yeah, is there anybody in my life that I'm pointing the finger at that is, I'm going, they're responsible for how I got here. Who is that person? Where is that in your life? And what would it look like for you to let that go? And the reason I want you to let it go is not because they deserve to be absolved of blame and fault.

No, no, no, no, that's not it at all. It's just that it might be holding you back from your future. And secondly, I just want you to think about what's one decision that you can make today that puts you back in the driver's seat of your life? That puts you back in the driver's seat of the future. Because here's what I've learned about the blame game. Nobody wins. Nobody wins.

Okay, it's their fault. Okay, congratulations. What do you get for it being their fault? But here's what I can tell you. Everybody wins when they take ownership. And so I just want you to win today. And I just have to wonder what it will look like for you to stop playing a game that doesn't add any value to your life.

My friends, thank you so much for listening to the Ryan League podcast. If today's episode inspired you, helped you, I would just ask that you don't keep it to yourself, share it with the friend. In fact, if you've got somebody in your life that you think has, dare I say divine potential, I want you to send them this episode. Yeah, if you've got somebody that you're just going to, hey, they're one decision away if they can just get past this hurdle. I want you to share this episode with them today.

And hey, I send out an encouraging text every single week. If you want to stay inspired, stay encouraged. You can text podcast to the number 469-809-1201. And there's about, I don't know, 25,000 people in there right now that get a text for me every single week. And some of you listening right now, you respond to those text messages. And I love hearing from you all the time as well. But if you'd like to subscribe to those text messages, you'll see that in the show notes. today and my friend I hope that today's episode added value to your life in a significant way.

Also, if you take a moment to rate, review, and subscribe that also helps us, even just in our rankings and all of those things that just allows us to reach more people with these short and sweet nuggets of inspiration. Thanks for being a part of the journey and we'll see you next week.