The Ryan Leak Podcast - Why Am I Doing This?

Episode Date: February 8, 2021

There are moments when you won't get inspiration, direction, or vision from your leader. This is why you need to have some go-to questions you can have in your back pocket to help you lead yourself when you need to the most.  The first question you can ask yourself is: Why Am I Doing This?  What’s your why? Is it money? Is it status? Is it position? Is it proving it to somebody who didn’t think you’d ever amount to anything? Beware of having a why that doesn’t line up with who you actually want to be. Proving somebody wrong might actually help you win, but once you’ve proved them wrong, then what?  There's a lot of people still trying to prove something to their parents or people they were in middle school with. They’ve been trying to keep up with Joneses they went to school with and the only problem is… the Joneses don’t live in their neighborhood anymore.  Your why is for you, not them. Your why needs to be strong enough to get you out of bed in the morning whether your leader has inspired you or not.  For more show notes and episodes, go to ryanleak.com/followership.

Welcome to followership with Ryan Leak, a podcast designed to equip followers with the tools they need to succeed in the workplace. You might be following or working for it. Good, bad, or mediocre leader. But the good news is the type of leader you have doesn't have to determine the type of follower you can become. Ladies and gentlemen, happy New Year, happy Black History Month. I had to take a month off to just recharge my followership batteries. I've been working on a lot of other things that I'm really excited to tell you about in the near future. And so January's demands were at an all-time high.

But we're back in the booth, and I'm super excited to share some things that I'm I believe we're going to be very, very helpful for you over the next few episodes. And we're going to be talking about self-leadership. Here's a deal. I've found that most followers are waiting for their leaders to lead them. They're waiting for direction. They're waiting for clarity of vision. And here's the deal.

Just because your leader may or may not have led you well, cast a vision in a way that's palatable for you doesn't mean that you can't be leading yourself. Most people are waiting for someone to do something for them. I want you to know that you don't have to live that way. You don't have to work that way. So over the next few episodes, I'm going to give you four questions

that are going to help you lead yourself well. The first question that we're covering today is why am I doing it? I want you to write that down. Why am I doing it? What is your why? Most people's why is money, paycheck, survival. Maybe your why is status. Maybe your why is a specific position within a company,

Maybe a title really matters to you and striving. Like, that's why you're doing it. Maybe your why is, it's because you're trying to prove it to somebody who didn't think you'd ever amount to anything. Here's what I want you to think about a little bit today. I want you to beware of having a why that doesn't line up with who you actually want to be. proving somebody wrong might actually help you win,

but once you've proved them wrong, well, then what? I mean, the reality is I know a lot of people who are still trying to prove something to their parents or people they were in middle school with. I mean, I know people who have been keeping up with the Joneses that they went to school with and the only problem is the Joneses

don't live in their neighborhood anymore. Your why needs to be for you. Not for anybody else. I'm going to tell you what my why used to be. My why used to be to impress other people.

Every message I I wrote, every keynote I put together, every book I would write, I wanted to impress other people. And not just impress other people, this vague group of people, no, there is a specific group of people that I really wanted to impress. I found that usually whenever we're in a particular industry, we want to impress the people in that particular industry instead of like serving the clients and customers of that industry. So I've found that musicians and singer-songwriters often can fall for the temptation of writing songs and putting together and producing music

that other musicians think is, oh my gosh, it's so difficult to play. Did you hear that that the key that they did that in or the way that they, like, it's almost like I've got to impress other musicians. Authors want to write books or they can fall for the trap of writing books for other authors that impress other authors. But most books that help people are at a third grade reading level. But somehow as an author, sometimes I fall for the temptation of wanting to write academic books that college professors think are amazing, but that doesn't always mean that it's actually going to help the reader. And for me, I fell for that trap as it pertains to speaking. I wanted to write messages that other speakers thought were impressive.

And it wasn't until two incidents. I call them incidents like they were bad, but they were just more circumstances that actually changed my why. It gave me a much more pure why. There was a friend of mine who I had been inviting to church for a very, very long time to just come and I just would just invite them. You know, we worked out together a lot and, you know, was a friend of mine at the gym. And it was a Wednesday night. I'll never forget it.

It was a Wednesday night I prepared this very eloquent message. It was really smart. I don't know that it was all that helpful. It sounded impressive. And sometimes sounding impressive makes it feel like you did a good job. But our job is in my particular case, as a communicator, is to help improve the quality of people's lives.

Not to get an applause, not to make people laugh, not to get people to ooh and ah. No, I need to be able to help someone moved from point A to point B, but I was, if I'm being honest, vulnerable, but I was wrapped up in trying to impress other speakers. And I got up on a Wednesday night with this dissertation of a message, okay? It was next level, I'm telling you, it was amazing. And all of a sudden, I see my friend who showed up after I had been inviting him for six

months to a year. He showed up to church where I was speaking that night. And he sat on the very back row and he was actually sitting behind the cameraman. And I remember as I was getting ready to start the message, he stood from behind the cameraman and he just waved. And that was the day that my why changed. It went from going, let me impress the speaker or impress the person or impress the pastor or impress the whoever brought me in to speak on some level. I have to impress them. And then you know what? My why shifted.

And now, well, I just, I try to help the guy on the back row. And so that was the night that I ditched my dissertation and just thought, how can I help my friend who just had a rough go? and I got my why. And I started really rethinking, man, why do I write books? Why do I write messages? Why am I sitting in my garage right now recording this podcast? Well, it's because I truly believe that my why is to help people.

I mean, what's yours? What's your why? I mean, maybe for you it's to get out of debt, man, it's a great why. Man, work your butt off, do it. But I think it's good for you to get your own why. Don't let your why come from somebody else. And don't wait for someone else to give you a good why. I mean, your why is your why.

The second thing that happened that gave me a more pure why is also at my church. It's kind of funny. A good friend of my name Fred, I love Fred. Fred is old school. Fred continuously remind me of why I do what I do. Fred's awesome. He's old school, Thundercat. I love Fred.

Fred, after one of our services at church, It was Mother's Day. He walks up to me. He goes, hey, man, listen, what's up with Father's Day? I said, well, dude, it's kind of Mother's Day right now, so I don't get what's the issue. He goes, hey, man, listen, here's the deal. On Mother's Day, y'all be passing out all types of stuff. Y'all be passing out popcorn.

Y'all be passing out mugs, t-shirts, guacamole. Like, y'all just be giving out stuff to the moms. And on Father's Day, it's like you give us a coupon for, some root beer or something. And I was like, dude, I don't know what you want. Now, in the church space, Mother's Day is probably the second to third highest attended weekend of the year. Father's Day, not so much.

But nevertheless, that's just kind of how that space has worked. And so I said, Fred, help me understand what it is that you want. for Father's Day. He said, I want breakfast. I said, what do you mean you want? He goes, I want breakfast on Father's Day here at the church. That's what I want. And I'm like, okay, what kind of breakfast?

He said, man, I need pancakes, eggs, and sausage. I said, listen, Fred, I'm going to speak to the powers that be. I got a little influence at the church. I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm a hala at them for a little bit and say, hey, I don't know, and our church is kind of big. So nevertheless, that's going to be a little difficult. But Fred, I'm going to do what I can do for you for breakfast on Father's Day. Nevertheless, there's no way that our church was going to get breakfast for the thousands of people that go to our church.

But on Father's Day, my wife and I stopped at IHOP, and we got pancakes, eggs, and sausage. Oh, he also requested orange juice. We picked up a little low J-form as well. And I found Fred in the lobby, and I said, hey, man, we can't get breakfast for everybody. but I can get breakfast for you. And that was the second moment in my career where my Y became much more pure, much more clear in that while I do many things

for a large group of people on a consistent basis, I can't forget the one person. I have to have somebody in my life that reminds me of why I do what I do in the first place. So now there are moments where I will stand up and get ready to speak. And I'll see Fred or I'll see a friend that I invite it. And it just reminds me to just go, hey man, you don't have to impress anybody. But man, it'd be really great if you could just help people. Now, for you, what's your why?

Man, you don't have to wait for a leader to have a great why. In fact, no offense, I don't know that your leader thinks about you that much beyond the overall mission and vision for the company. Like beyond that, if that's not enough why, well then, hey, they're giving you a pay. You got to have something for you that gets you out of bed in the morning. And I think when you have that, you'll find that you are able to lead yourself a little bit better instead of waiting for someone to give you a motivational speech to get out of bed in the morning. no, no, you got to have your own why if you're going to have success in that organization.

So the takeaway from today is I want you to write down your current why. And I want you to begin thinking about it. Is it the right why for you? And is it enough to get you out of bed in the morning? Because guess what? your leader is not going to call you every single morning at 7 a.m. and give you a speech. They're not going to.

They're not going to, that's, that's not going to be them. You're going to have to lower some of your expectations for your leader in that regard. But there is a speech you might need to be giving yourself and it's usually connected to your why. That's what I want you to think about today. Hey, if today's episode added value to your life in any way, shape, or form, here's what I'd ask you to do. Share it with a friend. Don't forget to subscribe.

Rate it if you haven't. Leave a comment if you haven't. And we'll see you next time on followership with Ryan Lee.