The Ryen Russillo Podcast - Can the Sixers Win the East? And How to Guard Luka With Raja Bell. Plus, Life Advice With Comedian Nikki Glaser.

Episode Date: May 10, 2022

Russillo shares his thoughts on all four NBA conference semifinal series (0:30), before talking with Raja Bell about the Grizzlies being down 3-1 to the Warriors, the Mavericks tying up their series with the Suns, how teams should defend Luka Doncic, pre-title concerns for the Bucks creeping into their series with the Celtics, 76ers-Heat, and playoff stories from Raja's NBA career (15:50). Finally Ryen is joined by comedian Nikki Glaser to discuss her new reality show 'Welcome Home Nikki Glaser?,' blackout drunks, awkward sex, where stand-up comedy intersects with social media, and more (46:24), before answering some listener-submitted Life Advice questions (1:16:29). Host: Ryen Russillo Guests: Raja Bell and Nikki Glaser Producers: Kyle Crichton and Steve Ceruti Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today's podcast, recapping the four NBA playoff series, especially what happened last night, getting ready for tonight with Raja Bell, trying to figure out all of this stuff, especially like Miami, Philly, where you're at. We're going to do something a little different here. Nikki Glaser, comedian. She is incredible. She's got a new TV show out. She's going to help us with life advice.

So buckle up. I'm going to start by running through all the series. We'll probably not spend as much time as all the stuff I did with Bill on Sunday. But we know, we know we have a big game five coming up. But let's start with the game four. It's Golden State, Memphis. This one get evened up. I'll be honest.

Everybody knows I love Steph and love watching this Warriors team. I really appreciated Memphis. I felt like I was rooting for this one just to be done more so than I was rooting for any team. This was a brutal game for most of it. Golden State had 38 points at the half, their lowest playoff half since the 2015 finals. They started 0-16 from three. The last playoff team to start a playoff game, 0-16, was OKC in 2011. But the other thing is, everybody's watching Golden State miss all their shots. Memphis started 2-16. So it wasn't like anybody was making any shots. The live total, so pre-game the total on this

one over-under was 2-22, 2-22.5. At the start of the fourth quarter. The live odds went to 187 on the total. Steph had a bad shooting night. Everybody had a bad shooting night, really. You know, the people that mattered. And then Steph had 18 and less than eight minutes in the fourth quarter. And that's your game.

Golden State's first lead was with 45 seconds left in this one. Steph made a couple threes. He drove the lane, got the free throws to put him ahead. There was a lot in this one to not love. Although I would say defensively, there was one play that just kind of sums up what Draymond Green is capable of, both on effort and instincts and intelligence. Just about four minutes to go, Memphis is leading 89-88. This was the block charge that got reviewed that wasn't overturned. I don't think it should have been. Before Green tried to get the charge on Jaron Jackson, Kyle Anderson was at the left elbow and he went to turn towards the paint. Draymond helped off of Jaron Jackson, who couldn't make a three. It wasn't so much like,

I'm not respecting Jackson as a shooter. I'm just going to show so that when Kyle turns on the defensive player thinking there's maybe room in the paint, I'm just going to be here. And Draymond basically read it ahead of time going, let me just be here and show him. And then it kind of stopped everything. And then Jackson actually got the drive. I don't love wasting challenges because you're mad. It happens too often in the NBA. It also happens too often when the player just sits there and says, I'm going to do it, and then Mike Brown filling in. I don't know if that will do it. It's not like he hasn't been with Draymond for years, but I don't know.

I mean, the player is always going to think that he's right, and then when you say, hey, go ahead and challenge, block charge, it's just too hard. It's too hard. And in that spot, Jaron Jackson only hits one of the free throws. He didn't shoot it well, missed all seven of his threes. So if you look at it and say 21 and five, like I said, everybody missed in this game. If I wanted to, could I have a more concerning who is Memphis's number two guy, like long-term conversation? No jaw last night because of the

knee. I guess I could. and I just feel like that's kind of the Jaron Jackson story and what you sign up for, but he's also 22 years old. He was healthy this year. He's terrific defensively, but you're kind of in that spot going, all right, who's going to carry them offensively? I think Desmond Bain is hurt. It's very clear. He walks like a guy who has back pain right now. The numbers from Minnesota to this series are completely different. Granted, Golden State is better. But Bain, who in college, if you watched him, what was great about his NBA story is that he figured out his role

very early in the NBA. But he actually is capable of doing a lot more on offense because he did that at TCU. And then you've got Dylan Brooks. Memphis was up one with under a minute. He took a right side bomb three three and that's kind of what he did all night he was 5-19 2-9 from three I don't know if

it was the crowd booing him because of hitting Gary Payton and knocking him out maybe in the playoffs that had something to do with it where he was like I'm going to show you well he hasn't shown anybody other than just he's going to shoot and he's going to miss he's 8-35 in this series 4-18 his percentages are 17-16% with zero free throws taken other than just he's going to shoot and he's going to miss. He's 8-35 in this series, 4-18.

His percentages are 17% and 16% with zero free throws taken. Last night was gross. And I like Dylan Brooks because I think he's one of those tough guys you kind of need. Defensively, we saw what happened in Game 3. I'm not saying he's some lockdown guy, but he's going to try and he's going to get physical. He's going to use his fouls. He's been a nice story for his career,

but last night was gross. The Warriors have had the rebounding edge in all four games. And I do like what Memphis did. I like that they tried some Steven Adams stuff in there, but you know when it's at the end and they're going to go small and the ball's pinging all over the place, they're going to be hunting for Adams and trying to bring him away from the hoop.

But I do like in those moments of trying to, you know, I don't like abandoning somebody who's basically a major rotation guy. I don't like being stubborn and keeping them in there all the time either, but I kind of like that from them, and they still almost stole this one and evened it at two without job. But 3-1, I think we all know what's going to happen. Boston ties it up with the Bucs, 2-2. It's a weird series for me.

You know, yes, do I want Bostonoston teams to do well am i absurd about it no um you know i've had a hard time with the celtics team all season because i was like all right they're really disappointing and we've seen this now for 200 games with this group minor changes and then they turned into this just unbelievable team where all the models love them uh i always thought a little bit too much because when they're down to milwaukee in the second round without middleton because i did think they were going to lose that game last night i'm like all right they're going to go down 3-1 and you know maybe there was just a bunch of stuff that was wrong granted no rob williams and smart seems a little limited but derrick white's starting to

turn it around but tat, you could tell from the jump, and we're going to get to why this means something in the Western Conference a little bit later, but you could see, and this is what I always think about really great players, is that you can have your bad game, but then you go into it going, okay, Wesley Matthews tried to beat me up a little bit, did a good job, was more physical, was just in my shirt. Be ready, have a counter, go quicker. You could see from the beginning of this game, that's what was happening. Bill and I talked about Al Horford in Game 3.

He went 22-16-5, 4-7 on threes. You go, probably not getting that again. Nope, it got even better. He was the story again in this game. He's the reason they won Game 4. 30 points, his first ever career playoff game of 30. He's only had nine career 30-point games in his entire career. And for those that know me well know that you know before before i was other guys like al horford was my guy i loved him loved him out of the draft and then towards the end of

boston it was always a little frustrating because i don't think celtics fans were like wait this guy's a max guy like why isn't he doing more why isn't he going to initiate more offense that's not really what he does. He just doesn't make any mistakes and is somebody who's capable of doing a bunch of different things. And we maybe thought that that was over, but he's so smart defensively. But the scoring part of it,

and then the aggression, I don't know if that was payback for Giannis staring him down a bit and get a tech for taunting, which, you know, whatever. And then Horford went right back at him. I thought the elbow was, you know, was worthy of a technical himself. But Horford has been the story in this one.

So as I watch it play out, I'm fighting with like two different, I don't know if it's, it's not seeds of doubt. It's just these planted things, perception wise of what I think of these two teams at their best and at their worst. wise of what I think of these two teams at their best and at their worst. Everyone should be scared as hell of Giannis, okay? But Boston, when they're down, I'm like, well, maybe this is why I thought the models are a little excessive. And now it's even, they're going home, they got home court, and like, who knows? Maybe they're going to be in the NBA finals.

I didn't feel that way when it looked like they were helpless against Giannis. I didn't feel that way when it looked like they were helpless against Giannis. Let's talk about the Giannis part of this, too, because Milwaukee, if we're looking at the critical side of it, which, you know, after a team wins a championship, in a way, you're not supposed to do that stuff anymore. You're not allowed to. It's like, whatever, they won a title. But there's two things with them that I think are kind of repeating themselves, but it's not as big of a deal now because they won. Had they not won, I think we'd be more critical of what they do in some of their offensive decisions and how they do stuff. So Giannis stepped out of the game at 5.09 in the fourth quarter and came back in at 4.20. Yes, he was exhausted, and that's why they tried to buy

him that minute. I mean, he plays with such ferocity that I think sometimes he exhausts himself. Remember that story from Jared Greenberg to the sideline who shared with us during the playoffs last year. Giannis was sitting really early at the beginning of each playoff game because he was so worked up. They were like, all right, let's rest you and kind of reset you. He only took one field goal the rest of the game that I have in the tracking there from the last 420 on. So Giannis, who's attacking Jalen Brown on switches, Jalen, who's out there with five fouls. There was Derek White minutes out there to attack, too, where we've seen so many times that Giannis has gotten the switch that he wants. And then he goes and attacks or he drives and kicks because he's so great at playmaking now.

The mid-range game is better for him. And they didn't do any of that. They didn't. And it turned into the Drew Holiday Shooting Fest. Drew has 92 shot attempts in four games. I realize without Middleton, that's kind of what you'd expect. He's 34 overall, 31% from three. I know he had the big shot in game three.

He was 0 of five in the fourth quarter. Remember last year when we were like, why won't Milwaukee attack an injured James Harden, who we could see wasn't moving around well, right? Why aren't they doing this more? Remember Drew, where right up until, I don't know, there might have been the Game 7 win against Brooklyn, where we're like, what is going on with him?

Like, this is the guy you trade all these picks for? This is the guy that you give this kind of contract with his injury? Like, the Drew Holiday story did a complete 180 in the playoffs. I still really like Drew Holiday. I would want Drew Holiday on my team. But tasked with this kind of scoring load or this attempt load is probably not really what you want. So little surprised that there's so much Drew shooting and even more surprised. And you can say Giannis is tired the last 420, but what does it mean? He's not going to take any shots. And I believe he only took one.

We did so much Philly Miami Sunday. I'm not going to spend too much time on it. A hardened 16 points in the fourth is everything you'd really need to know about game four. And it's pretty simple. I don't believe he's ever going to be the guy again. You know, MVP vote stuff. I don't think that's a ridiculous thing to say. I think he needs to do a better job of taking care of his body and honestly, you know, caring about being a professional athlete a little bit more.

And it scares the hell out of me. Like when anybody is this good, it doesn't want to do it. So good luck with that contract. So that is an entirely different thing. contract. So that is an entirely different thing. It's a lot like Jimmy Butler in game four going off is like, at least you have a guy who was capable of doing that in the playoffs that understands what is expected of him. Uh, that's, we spend so much time talking about this guys, but that's, that's kind of the job. Like, Hey, help us figure it out when everything's breaking down. We're now games three, four, and five in a series. Everybody knows what's going on, right?

Like there's counters here and there, but now we pretty much know what everybody's trying to do here. And your special talents, your shot-creating talents, you are so special, you have to figure out a way. And the fact that you have Harden, if you're Philadelphia, who you would hope sometimes is still capable of that, not every game, almost no one is capable of it every game, but do you have one of those games

in this series? One or two of those games in this series? And Harden gave you that in Game 4 after having really bad second halves the first couple. Shooting variance is a big part of this that we probably don't spend enough time on, but it'd be a really boring podcast if I came on and just said, hey, this team made more threes than that one. And that's really all it was.

Just luck on threes. That probably tells the story far more often than we'd want to admit, but it wouldn't get as paid. Would it, uh, games one and two Miami plus three plus six and three point makes games three and four Philadelphia plus nine and plus nine. But more importantly, this series is just weird. Cause I think we all had to reset and go, Oh, that, okay. And beat is back. so it was dismissive of words, is Philadelphia trying to win this thing without him, which I don't think they were going to. It didn't look that great. We have a series that I have no idea. I have no idea how to read this one

other than I'd expect if Embiid stays healthy, he's just going to get better and better and it's opening up everything. So it's not always just shots made, shots missed. As I run through games one through four, the shots that you are getting have changed on both sides because of Embiid. All right. So it's not just luck on that one. It is the Embiid

factor where now Bam isn't running free like he was in the first two games and you're helping off of him opening up for Miami and conversely for Embiid, you're more worried about him and stuff is happening around him that probably makes the shot attempts a little bit easier. I'd have to look up the shot quality stuff on second spectrum, but I couldn't figure it out this morning. Final one, Chris Paul, game five. I know.

I'm aware. I'm aware of what this means. Okay? If we look at the Dallas side of this, I'm not sure what Phoenix is going to do. Do you let Luka go off? Do you perhaps tighten up

some less welcoming switches with Luka? Throw in more zone? No Payne, no Shammett. I mean, Payne right now is shooting 30 and 8% from three in the four games. But then again, who are you going to have play guard for any of those minutes where you have to figure out a way to kind of rest Chris Paul a little bit? The Aiton story is concerning. He had the worst plus minus in game four.

I don't think that's, you know, it's a game, but it felt like it played out. There's some real Rudy Gobert-ish stuff happening with Aiton now, too, where he's being asked to cover when Dallas goes five out with a small lineup with no Powell. Aiton's stuck kind of defending in the corner, and he's helping on some of the Luka drives, and then he comes off the corner, and then you have, you know,

Brunson hit a huge three in game four. Finney Smith, who went from 30% from three his first three years of his career, is now 39% over the last three years of his career. He's been terrific. But the problem with the Rudy stuff was that then you don't do anything on offense, and Aiton is clearly much better on offense, but they don't really want to use him, which whenever I look at a post-advantage-disadvantage, then I always kind of stop myself and go, yeah, what are they going to do?

Play post-basketball now all of a sudden in 2022? Like that's not going to happen. But there may have to be more of an emphasis put on making eight and have them pay. The other part of this is Kaliba does hold up more defensively than people would probably ever admit. But much like Paul having Bullock just work him at the start of game three in that first half, Bullock was terrific. They were very focused on him. It reminds me a bit of the Tatum thing, where Tatum knew going into the Wesley Matthews matchup the second time around, like, okay,

all right, I know what he's doing. I'd expect Paul, I'd be shocked if he wasn't just a little bit more aware and getting his momentum going. And if Dallas is going to meet them immediately, bring the ball over, they have to adjust to that a little bit. I still like Phoenix. I think they're the better basketball team. Do you really want to doubt Chris Paul or me after fouling out

of Game 4 and having the family harassed slash maybe just offered a hug? I don't. Raj Bell joins us, former NBA player, also co-host of The Real Ones, Logan Murdoch,

late last night. So let me ask you this. Have you ever had a game that mattered like Memphis' game four? And, you know, dylan brooks is your guy it's different than dylan brooks not being your guy but would you ever say anything like hey man what's up like what are we are we talking about the are we talking about the shot selection the overall just just yeah i need to yeah i hey man, you know, I say this to Logan a lot when you wind up with teams with guys in and around the same stages of career.

Some your better players at times aren't your alpha personalities all the time. And so that's a real tough spot when you have John Morant out. You clearly need that game. And it just looked like you had multiple people wrestling for who was going to be the guy. And they stepped all over each other's toes. There were possessions down the stretch. With no passes, you're just two between the legs or whatever little combo you have into a contested three. For a team that's won that many basketball games um and that many without john moran those possessions are just too loose and too untimely for playoff basketball

it just it was too much to overcome and they had to win that game like they they got a poor performance at a golden state they had to win it yeah that's going to be the most frustrating part of it because like the whole time i'm going when's the golden state run happening when's it happening and it's still i mean it kind of happened but not really i mean their first lead was less than a minute to go uh does it have like that was always the doc rivers thing which i've referenced numerous times but doc would always say i'd rather you just have your players because then our guys buy in a little bit uh everybody missed shots last night but was there anything that's maybe concerning for golden state view after these four games where you try to think about them against phoenix or dallas yeah you know their style of

play is is it's it lends itself to being kind of erratic right because they're moving so fast the ball's moving so fast so much of it is based on on the just these reads out of split actions and kind of emotion space type of game but they've been really loose with the ball. You know, I don't really worry about them making and missing shots. I think they have enough in, in clay, Jordan pool and stuff,

but I do worry about their, their turnovers at times when teams can really get into them and the rest are allowing that to be kind of physical. They seem to get really loose with the ball and What they have going for them, amongst other things, but probably first and foremost in my mind right now, is I don't think anybody in the West looks really good. So maybe you can afford to be kind of loose and not, I wouldn't say they're playing their A-plus game right now,

but maybe they can afford that. All right, so you don't even think Phoenix or Dallas look good? Or is it just because you expect more of Phoenix and now they're 2-2? Yeah, I think they, I mean, clearly they're a really good team. Like I picked Phoenix to come out. Dallas has probably looked, in terms of what your ceiling is, in my estimation, I think Dallas has looked closer to their ceiling or to their potential maybe than Golden State and Phoenix over the course of the playoffs. I think Phoenix has another gear. I boil Phoenix down to two bad games from Chris Paul. I mean, I'm sure there's more to it. The Mavs are, I don't mean to take any credit away from them in terms of what they're doing. And when they get that ball humming around the perimeter and they're knocking down threes, they're tough to guard. But Phoenix without Chrisenix without chris paul playing well there's a hole there and they just they haven't looked in sync that and so that's kind of what i'm talking

about i don't think they look bad they just don't look like they're they're firing on all cylinders right now the more i watch eight and you know at first i just think it's a sarver thing where it's like okay they didn't want to pay him they didn't want to pay him earlier than they had to which is kind of a weird thing with the cba anyway where denver loses out on the Michael Porter Jr. thing by feeling like, hey, we have to extend you because it's the way we're going to extend you. So he's going to be a restricted free agent. The cap space that's out there are teams that it's like, would the Pistons, the Spurs, maybe somebody just would use the cap space, the Pacers or whatever. And then Phoenix would just go ahead and match it. But then sometimes I just wonder, could it be that Phoenix doesn't think he's as good

as maybe we think from the outside? I'm not trying to turn this into anti-Eighton, but I wonder if it's more about a basketball decision than it was just the financial schedule of an owner that's historically cheap. It's a good question. I would like to think that James Jones would have the ability to talk to Robert Sarver in a way that maybe other GMs haven't. Just haven't played there, haven't won the amount of rings he's won. He's a sharp dude, man. I don't know if you know Jukes, but he's a sharp guy.

but he's a sharp guy. And so I say all of that to say that you may be right. It may have something to do with their belief about who DeAndre Ayton is as a basketball player. I tend to believe, just from experience, that it has to do with the latter of your two, the Robert Sarver and being the historically cheap owner. But in either case, I think DeAndre Ayton is kind of playing a role there.

And I think there's growth left in his game where if you paid him and you didn't think right now he was the type of player that would command that, I think he's got room to grow as a player. But I think he plays a role for them that's critical to their success. So, you know, it's one of those things. Sometimes we as players, it happens to all of us. it's one of those things. Sometimes we as players, it happens to all of us. It certainly happened to me as you sign up to play in a place

and the role that they're asking you to play, although it can be very rewarding and you can become known for that, it takes away your upward kind of mobility as a player, your growth, right? You're put into this pot and the roots stop growing. What would you do with Luca?

In terms of putting pieces around him or guarding him? Yeah, well, I guess there's a lot of layers to this answer. Like, okay, if you get tasked with him, okay, what would you do? And I know every defensive guy with your background are trying to say,

like, I actually know you well enough to know. I think I know what the answer is, so I should just shut up here. But there'll be a lot of guys like oh well i would just do this as if he's like there's this magic way to defend him that nobody else has thought of so just start with him first and we'll talk team yeah he's it's a really good question because he's so big i was going through carline this morning with my son uh and my son's school and one of the one of the security guards who i'm really cool with was like put your window down put, put your window down. And I said, Hey, what's up, man? It's like, it's like seven in the morning. I'm like, what's up? I got my pajamas on. He's like, Hey,

who played bully ball when you played in the NBA? Just a random who played bully ball at 7am. And I was like, Oh man, I don't know. Carmelo maybe. And so when you asked me that, I think, I think a Luca in terms of what he's capable of physically and how big he is for a two guard or one of these smaller wings in the NBA today. So I would do my best to keep Luka out of that back down situation. I would change depths at which I guard him. Almost if you're a boxer, you're in the strike zone. You're out of the strike zone. I'm trying to bait Luka into shooting jump shots, man, is the best way I can put it. Hopefully, I can get him to shoot contested deep threes. I know he seems to shoot those maybe at a higher clip when you're actually guarding him and he's got to fade a little bit and knock it down

than he does just regular threes, but that's what I would try to do to him. And if I were, if I were, you know, instructing the rest of my teammates, I would tell them to stay home. I would say, look, let him let, if he gets me down there and he's working me, let him, let him go ahead and, and, and make the three pivots. Cause I don't really know that he can go by me like with the shoulders, but let him make the three pivots bump me and hit those tough ass mid-range shots with my hand up i don't want to give him the 30 and then let you know bretons get cooking and let uh you know finney smith get cooking then let cleba get cooking so let him have his way i'll do my best and then let's cut off the rest of the pipeline so you're saying don't help off don't help don't're saying don't help off.

Don't help. Don't help me. Don't help me. And we employed that sometimes with Kobe, especially when Mike knew, and you could tell in Kobe's eyes, that Kobe was out for my blood. And when we could get him in that mode where he was seeing red,

then there'd be times when he was seeing red where they wouldn't help me. And it sucked. And you see me on every Kobe highlight in the world because there's very little you could do. But he could score 40 and still lose in that world. But if you gave him 30 and everyone else was able to get 15, you couldn't beat him.

Yeah, I have always loved that series um i don't know i don't know what it is about that series oh you know what why i love that series so much is because i had to do i think it was like the first writing assignment i did for espn and so it's 2006 it It's the seven gamer. You came back in one. You were down what? 3-1 in that one? Yeah.

And you didn't play game six, right? Right. I was suspended. You were suspended. It was just such a weird series. So I want to stay on this, though. You're down 3-1. Did you feel good about yourselves? Did you feel good about everything that's happening are we talking major adjustments because all of us would be like oh

why don't they do this try this try this I like throw out cons I'm not sure if any of them necessarily are going to work like sometimes you just aren't as good or that guy has a really good matchup and you're just going to see it for however many games it takes for them to win the series but how did you feel about yourselves as a team when you were down 3-1 to that Lakers team? We were surprisingly confident, I guess, being down 3-1 in retrospect. Didn't think we needed to reinvent the wheel. I would probably throw in a little bit of being scared. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that that's not a daunting task

and you're not like, golly, we've possibly fumbled the bag here. But there was some of that. But overall, I think we felt like we hadn't played great. We had not really hit our stride for whatever reason in that first series. And I think part of it, I tell this story, you know, I've told it before, is we went out to LA, stayed at a different hotel than we normally do. We were at the Lowe's out in Santa Monica,

just had a different vibe. Families went out with us. It was almost like a little mini holiday. And they put it on us real quick. Boom, down 3-1. But we just said, hey, we've got to play better. And we can play better. But we just said, hey, we've got to play better, and we can play better, and we need one. And that was really just the approach. If we can get one, as crazy as this sounds, being down 3-2, all pressure flips to LA. Because even going down there 3-2, where in their

minds, they might be saying, hey, all we got to do is win it. But there's a lot of pressure associated with having to close us out. Because it goes seven now they fumbled the bag so let's get one let's stay in it and let's just do what we do and our answer to a lot of things was always to play faster you know like like let's just get it moving let's get up and down let's get some threes up and um and that's kind of where we were. Yeah, because another thing that we were like, hey, was there this speech? Was there one guy that did this? I'm sure it's happened on different teams,

but I don't know. That team had been around for a little bit, not like some of the other teams, but there just had to be a confidence in you because when it was all said and done, I was like, well, I thought Phoenix was the better basketball between between the two teams and then you know at the very end it got even weirder but it wasn't a thing it wasn't like okay now these are the rules like you didn't change your rules in that series not not specifically for

that game um in in to the best of of my my memories capability i don't believe now we again we we we employ different strategies on cove like there were times where you know we were gonna double him you know and there were times where they were just gonna let me get roasted there were times where you know kobe fans don't like to hear this but there were times where i'd have him under control and you didn't have to help me you know there were there were other times where, you know, maybe we, maybe we come down and put a little bit more pressure if they were, if they were posting. So we employ different strategies throughout the series, throughout games, but there was no philosophical shift for us going into, um, game five at home. And I think it was a physical series. And again, people don't really like to

hear this because I know the end result was me doing something really stupid and everything like that. But it was physical. There were a lot of elbows being thrown. There was a lot of punishment that I think the Lakers felt like if they could dole it out, we were a relatively soft team. Like that was what most people thought was our Achilles heel. So, you know, in game five, I think we finally stood up in a lot of ways, not just my stupid play, but I think a lot of people just stood up and said, hey, we're not taking that shit anymore.

Like, well, let's go. And, you know, we were able to get out of it. Were there other series then with different teams, whether it was the Philly run to 2001, you know, I don't know, maybe a later Phoenix team. I'm looking through it now and the game log's going, all right, where you felt like, hey, this isn't working. Because it's kind of getting back, like J.J. Redick was tweeting last night.

He goes, we played against this team and they just let Dwight go off. To me, letting Dwight go off is far easier to contain and stay like, okay, Orlando's got shooters because they were one of those original kind of like four out with Dwight type teams. But letting Dwight go off to me like, all right, okay. You know, like letting Luca go off, he might score 50, you know? So was there another time in another playoff series where you felt like two games in a coach was like, we have to change everything we're doing and everything to a point which is what i assume yeah i remember i remember uh vividly it was my first year in the

league uh and i had only been there for a month and a half but we had two series like that the first was vince carter the vince carter series where him and alan iverson just went absolutely bananas it was the graduation series um when they lost game seven on our court. But I remember Larry Brown being in practice and I was still young and kind of trying to hover around the coaches so they could see me. And so I'd hear a lot of what he was saying.

And I remember him just being, this isn't working. We have to figure something out. And a lot of it would, a lot of, at that point, his conversation would revolve around whether or not we had someone that could guard him stashed over there on the bench they weren't desperate enough to try me yet but he asked me he was like hey can you guard him and i'm like shit yeah let's go no no i didn't get any burn in that series but

we we had to change some strategies defensively against them. Not only was Vince really, really tough, but what's my man's name? He's a Philly kid, played at Villanova, big guard. Alvin Williams? He was cooking too. We had multiple problems from a defensive standpoint that had to be taken care of. And then the next series, it's how I actually got to play ever in the playoffs, was Big Dog was a problem for us.

Big Dog was just an absolute problem. And most people think I came in to guard Ray Allen in that Bucs series. I didn't. I came in to guard Glenn because he was tough and he was physical and he was just killing us on that mid-block. And so we had to change strategies up midstream with them too. It was another seven-game series. But Larry Brown might have been the best ever. I've never played with a coach

who's done this before. We would go from series to series and change offensive sets. We're not running the same stuff. We'll keep nuts and bolts, right? Because they're Allen's favorite plays that Allen likes, and that's what we're going to kind of do.

But he would bring out, boom, we're putting these four new plays in for this series. And no one else ever did that. Four new plays, like four new offensive sets that you had. Four new sets, four new sets. If they've scouted us and think we're going to run this, you know, 60% of the time, these three actions, well, they've scouted wrong because now we got, you know, I don't know, three or four more actions we're going to run and we're not we're still running horns and we're still running whatever those were called to get alan his isos and stuff

like that but we just we change he'd change it up he'd come to the drawing board two days before the series would start and he's like here we go we're putting them in how hard was it i imagine each team is different it's based on personnel how hard is it because you're saying like hey we ran four new sets like i think okay well how hard is like in practice you can't install four things but i imagine teams are very different and some teams like you come out of the time out thinking everybody knows what you're doing you're like all right two guys completely don't know what we're doing and then other teams can pick it right up. How frustrating is that? Because I imagine it's both of those things. Extremely frustrating. I deal with a lot of youth basketball players now. And I find myself

reflecting on that because, you know, a lot of times they're standing over there and they got these short attention spans. Now they're not paying attention. And when I call them up, then it's your turn. No one knows what they're doing. Like they're not watching the people in front of them. And I remember coming into the league and calling my dad and saying to him when he would ask, hey, how's it going? How are you doing? And I'd be like, well, I don't really know how I'm playing. Like I can't really gauge that. But I do know that a lot of players here can't remember anything. but I do know that a lot of players here can't remember anything. And, and, you know, like I keep getting up because, and no bullshit, like I would get extra reps in different training camps because people at my position trying out just couldn't retain what happened. So, you know, I'm getting three reps to your one, cause you got to watch me again to figure it out. And so it worked to my benefit in a lot of instances charlotte was a place where it smacked me in the face i had come from phoenix where we had a pretty cerebral team

and we had a bunch of guys who knew how to play um and it could have been that our sets were more wide open but there were some intricacies to some of what we did i got to charlotte and i remember some talented players and it just you know and again larry brown right who i would never thought would have traded for me again i thought he hated me with a passion but lo and behold here i am in charlotte and he is the guy who will throw a bunch of stuff at you and we got multiple people that just it doesn't work like that they just can't grasp it on the fly. And so, you know, it becomes challenging for, for teams like that, for coaches. I'm sure Larry had to feel like he was pulling his hair out at times. Cause you know, you had to really stick with something for three and four

weeks for people to get comfortable with it. And right. And installing a set too of like, Hey, this is the setup. And then here are our actions off of it. It's different than just, okay, timeout here's, can you call a timeout and go, here's the play, guys? What's the trust factor on breaking that huddle if it's a play you haven't run before? Because that would be different than the concepts of all the different things. Coming out of an NBA timeout.

I was going to say, high school, no confidence at all. I've got none. I can't do that. But in the NBA, I think most coaches feel really confident. First of all, it's their job. You better have the right personnel on the floor. Like if I look, I'm looking down the line and I see that set of eyes looking at me with the like, no, no, we got to get him out. We can't do that.

But most guys are going to put you in a situation, even if it's not exactly what you run, there's wrinklage of what you do. So this isn't a completely foreign concept to you, right? Like we'll run a lot of things that you've seen somewhere along the line. Maybe we worked them in training camp and we didn't fully, you know, implement them and, but it's not going to be 1000% foreign. Okay. By the way, I love the Toronto series story. We're like, yeah, I got this, and you played, I think, less than five minutes to win the series. Okay.

Give me your Giannis, your take, because I thought they clearly subbed him out because he was tired, but the Bud, the Milwaukee, and I'm trying to say this. It's not like now all of a sudden I don't think Milwaukee is good. But the doubts we had about the Bucs before the title, I felt crept back into game four where you're going,

all right, Drew, maybe as much as we love him, isn't the guy to carry the load. And then Giannis, why are you getting all these favorable switches, getting fouls, hunting the one guard that might be out there to stretch the offense for Boston, and then you don't do any of it for four-plus minutes? That's the stuff with them that drives me crazy. I couldn't agree more. I'm a huge Giannis fan. I just think he's as dominant a player as there is in the league right now,

and I think he lets people off the hook all the time. I know how crazy that sounds. I think he's so dominant, and he's not nearly as dominant as he could be. Okay, wait, because the thing is, is his personality is the opposite of that. I feel like for such stretches, he's going to war and nobody else knows they're in it.

So that's really weird that you would frame it that way that you feel like he lets them off the hook when i feel like his personality is the opposite of that for so much of the game you know i don't know if that's a coach or you're right if it's janice you go hey enough of this shit at two minutes like all right stack this side and get you know we're gonna go two man on this side i don't know no i i agree you, and I've said it. I love Bud. I came up in the pop. One of my first training camps was San Antonio, and I got to know those guys really well, and I

think Bud's done a great job, but I also think we've gotten to a point in the NBA, and I don't mean to come off like old curmudgeon, but I'll say it until I'm blue in the face, where situationally, we don't have to play the way we play through 95% of the game. So this wide open Giannis at the top is great. It's what allows him to be who he is. I don't want to strip him of any

of that, but I do want to, if teams have kind of figured it out to some degree, or if it's problematic tonight or whatever the case may be, I want to help you get in positions where they can't do that to you all the time. And I don't think they do that enough. And I don't know if that's Giannis because I see times where Giannis will clear a board and Drew or somebody will be there like clapping for it. Like, you'll give that up. And Giannis is like, nah, I'm the MVP.

I'm coming. And so he's pushing it down. And now we're again at the top of the key. You know, a big in front of him. Essentially, they play a 1-2-2 zone when he's standing at the top of the key. There's, there's really nowhere to go. So I,

I just feel like they're, first of all, I know he wants to shoot threes. I'm all for stretching your game. The mid range looks really good. I've got no problem with it. Every single time he shoots a three, it's a bailout and it's a possession loss for them.

It's you're giving the other team the ball, right? So I just, I'm not saying don't shoot any, but they're loose possessions with them. You're giving the other team the ball, right? So I'm not saying don't shoot any, but they're loose possessions with them. Drew Holiday is a good, good number three. I think when you put him in that number two role without Chris Middleton on an ISO team, the inconsistencies, not that he can't, but there's inconsistencies in that. And so you saw a bad one last night he has more possessions

than probably any good player in the nba where i'm scratching my head as to what he was trying to do where i'm like what it didn't look like it was really in the flow it looked like he just sawed off the play even before it got started and now he's on this kind of dribble tangent into the lane and now we're we get this wild finish from a 6-5 guard against 6-10 you know they're just and they're they work a lot of the times but when you don't have the consistency of your number two it can become erratic yeah and by the way Boston making shots when they don't make shots then it's a free-for-all because then you know Milwaukee can just run into it but I like some of the pick and pop stuff with almost Drew as the screener and the pop guy, and then it's Giannis, and then it's space.

And when Milwaukee is drive and kick, drive and kick, it's a helpless feeling because it doesn't always have to be the kick if Giannis feels like he has the advantage, and you're going to get into the bonus, and you're going to do all these things. And then I'm watching it, and look, I get it. Okay, he was tired, but it's not like it's just a bunch of rested people out there the whole time too so it's just very weird and we know Drew's gonna have

a really big moment at some point anyway because he is he is when he's great he's he's really good he's taking a ton of shots in this one do you have any read on Miami Philly I really don't I mean I have a read on it where it goes from here I have no idea I imagine you can tell me what you think about I imagine Miami has to shoot better than they've shot. I mean, they're one of the best shooting teams, if not the best shooting team in the NBA this year, and they've just been awful. Now, the reasons, you know, Joel's a better defender than people give him credit for. Like, he's really anchoring. You know, when you have an anchor behind you, when Dikembe Batumbo's behind me, I can take two steps

closer to you. So, you don't have the space. Two steps ismbe Batumbo is behind me, I can take two steps closer to you. So you don't have the space. Two steps is a lot for a shooter. It changes the math on what you can get off. He's also created a ton on the offensive end. I think Miami wins tonight, but honestly, I could see a seven-game series and I could see Philly winning. I really don't know, man. That's a terrible answer.

I don't know. No, that's my answer, though. I't know. Like I still think Phoenix is better. I thought Golden State would win that series. Without Middleton, I thought if Boston fit the profile of kind of what we bought into, they should win that series. And then even in game four, I'm like, I think they're going to lose the series. So that one I'm not as sure on. But Philly, Miami, I have no feel. And let's stay on that because one of the... I don't want to turn this into the Jokic and Bede thing again because there's plenty of that. But Jokic's defensive stats, as I said throughout the entire time,

even though I voted for him for MVP, were ridiculous because it showed that he had these incredible defensive metrics where when you watch the Golden State Series, there wasn't one guy on a drive that worried about yokich being in there there just wasn't when you see mb and where these stats can be misleading is that now like you go in you're like oh there's that guy i'm gonna go do something else and it doesn't have to even be a contest you know sometimes against the drop i thought miami was attacking him in that drop but then there's other times where you feel like you have a cutter.

All that stuff now that wasn't even a thought in game one and two, that thought exists. And that should probably be enough to swing this back to Philadelphia. Yeah, I am with you 1,000%. It is just a deterrent when you have a big capable body in the middle of that, right? He's not as stiff. He can move. He's got, you saw he stripped like three people, you know, as a big, you don't normally see bigs getting their hands down and people shooting pockets on that drop coverage and getting steals. Like that's just creating a little doubt in your

mind, just enough. And so here's what I do know, right? Let me just make this pretty succinct. If with Joel Embiid present, he's going to give you what he gives you. It's only getting better. He's not going backwards, right? Right. If James Harden, he doesn't have to do 31. It doesn't have to be what it was. But if James Harden is looking more aggressive and he's mid 2020s with eight or nine assists, Philly wins the series. He doesn't have to be 31. He gives you 25, 24, but aggressive, shooting the three ball a little bit. And Joel Embiid is doing his thing. I think that's enough to swing that in Philly's favor. And the other thing that Bill and I were talking about on

Sunday too, I think at times I've made the mistake of going like oh harden will make mb's life easier and what we realized i think in this series is that harden getting trapped and not really having a plan i thought those first couple games like that stuff drives me crazy it's like you're the best player you know you're gonna get trapped you know miami's gonna throw you different things you know they're gonna get aggressive as the game goes later like be ready be ready for it and i And I don't think Harden was really ready for it. And now it's like, okay, we can't actually sell out and do this stuff because we're shading towards Embiid all the time. And that maybe unlocks Harden and maybe unlocks the version of Philly

that we all wonder if they're capable of. Because it's really weird after two games to go, man, what's their offseason going to be like? Could this team be in the NBA Finals? Right, right. He changes the math is the best way I can put it. I mean, there's this geometric equation of space and angles and areas on the floor that people want to operate in offensively.

And without Joel Embiid in the middle of that, we dictate what your angles are going to look like, the space on the floor, how much time I'm going to give you. We've just changed that geometric equation on you. And it's kind of dope because when we change it, even fractionally, man, it throws people off. Now, the best in the world operate in those spaces anyway, right? But you're talking about james harden who may not be the best in the world anymore and you're talking about tobias harris who's a really nice player maxie who's really nice but they're not the best in the world and so you've changed that math on them people get uncomfortable they get out of their their element and you're able to kind of you know dictate terms and and now we're

winning games you drop joel and be right in the middle of that, and the math is right back where the Sixers want it. It's right back. We can't run that double at you. You know, there are these anchors that hold our bigs one second longer, you know, to a viable scoring threat that allows other people to get on top of the rim. Now we have to – I'm talking about two steps closer to Embiid when Embiid goes to work that's going to spring a jump shooter, right?

Like those are big, big changes in a series that don't look like much to the naked eye. Thanks, Roger. I appreciate it, man. Enjoy the rest of the playoffs. Yeah, man. Thanks for having me. So Nikki Glaser's coming up. She's a terrific stand-up comedian.

She's hilarious. And she's also very graphic. So this is just a heads up. If that's not really your thing, if you're not into that, it offends you, it bothers you, then this is your warning for it because we don't normally do stuff like this in the podcast, but we got a chance to have her on.

We're all fans. Like I said, not everybody is for everybody, so maybe if she's not for you, then it may not be for you. I'm just telling you now. We're excited when we got this booking. I don't know, maybe over a month ago, we got Nikki Glaser here with us, who I think is hilarious. I actually watched the first pilot of the show on E!, which we're going to get to. Welcome home, Nikki Glaser, back in St. Louis. I want to talk about a couple of the stand-up

routines that I've seen you do, because what I love about what you do is that you're a storyteller, and then you'll have something happen. And I imagine it kind of like pops your head, you're like, hey, do I have something here? When you talked about the first boyfriend that said, I love you, and he just got drunk all the time, and then you tricked him. Do you know what you said last night? How real is that story? It's 100% real. I mean, I really, I was so desperate for, you know, I used to date all these guys who didn't have the capability of loving me, let alone like anyone, you know, I used to date all these guys who didn't have the capability of loving me, let alone like anyone, you know, not just me, but that guy got so wasted all the time. And I grew up with a mom who would blackout drunk. And as a child, I learned like you can say

anything to your mom when she's in that state of mind or wherever she's start slurring like that. And the next day, carte bl blanche like you don't have to be accountable for anything so i used to just be like mom i fucking hate you you're disgusting like i used to say i like all the cuss words mom i smoked pot last night mom i i'm gonna sneak your alcohol like i used to tell her all the secrets everything i wanted to say and the next morning it was just like it didn't happen so i are i knew I knew the glory of a blackout drunk and how much you could get away with. And so yeah, I found a way to tell him the next day after he was hung over after a really bad blackout on Valentine's Day where I had been waiting for him to say I love you all night

long and he didn't. So I just told him the next day that he had said it when he was drunk just to see if he would you know go with it and he definitely was like no i didn't i like he was just like no i wouldn't have done that even when i was wasted oh so he actually said no i didn't do that he knew yeah i mean i forget what the joke was he kind of knew he was just like um i i like he i remember him being like i did like being very mystified by he would why he would ever say that which i don't i'm a blackout drunk as well and whenever someone tells me i do anything blackout i totally i'm just like yeah i probably did that i don't know i have no control over that person i don't know who she is she says really awful things she tells people she loves

them when she doesn't i mean that was my go-to move when I blacked out when I drank was I would just like make plans with people I hated and tell them, I love you so much. You know, like, so I just thought it would work for him, but he was like, no, I wouldn't even say that in a blackout. Yeah, I don't even know if you have to be blacked out if you're making plans.

Like there's plenty of things you're like, that's a great idea. Like walk to Asia. It's so weird. Yes. Antiquing tomorrow at 8 a.m. Let's do it. I've always wanted to like so many dumb plans, so many. Yeah. The first time I got drunk in high school, I just remember being like, why did I tell that girl last night? I loved her. And like,

I want to be closer friends. I literally hate her. It was the opposite. It's just a very bizarre thing I noticed I do. And that's why I don't date and blackout drunks anymore. So when you are, you know, I know this is a little weird because, but you share it with everybody, you know, cause then it's also in the TV show, this kind of on again, off again, relationship thing. Do you, do you meet people where you'll be like, all right, I don't really like this person, but this is a great joke and this is a great bit. Um i mean like i will maybe sometimes encourage ridiculous things in my life that are happening um to continue happening until i'm in a place where i'm so uncomfortable like i'm feeling violated just to like play it out to see okay where can this story go i found like early

on in my life when i would have like really awkward sexual encounters where i felt like oh i don't even want to be here this sucks just start making it your own and getting a story out of it for you. Like I used to like wink at myself in mirrors when I would feel like really sad and alone when I was with a guy that like clearly didn't like me and was doing something disgusting that I was just like, oh God, what am I even doing? I used to like find a way to like make the joke with myself. So, um, but when it comes to the reality show. You would wink at yourself like you're on a TV show that you're not even on.

Yeah, almost like Jim from The Office. Like, but it was, it wasn't like I was on a TV show. It was like, if this isn't for, I'm getting nothing out of this pleasure wise. I don't like, I don't like this guy anymore. I know this guy is incapable of like liking, liking me the way I wish he would I mean so often people find themselves in the middle of like sexual encounters where it's not like

I don't want to make this paint this like it sounds like i'm being like violated and i'm like I hate this and stuff But it's like you're just like wow I thought this guy was gonna be my boyfriend and he's saying really weird things and he's just like Our sexual chemistry is off. He's not even giving a fuck if i come like i can't even do i can't do anything with this this will never happen again and instead of those moments going to a dark place of shame and like why am i here why do i keep falling for these guys what am i doing i just go like okay just start remembering detail you know stories for my friends it started out as like i gotta tell my friends about this guy i gave a handjob to in a bathroom and uh that

he had tried to have sex with me and he didn't let me move because he was scared he was going to come. So we were like soaking like Mormons. Like I remember so many details from all my sexual encounters because first of all, I wasn't horny at all. So my brain was working perfectly.

There, you know, when you get horny, your brain stops like functioning. Like you get really dumb. But if you're a woman who is like, the guy's just like takes his dick out right after you make out for two seconds. And you're just kind of like, he starts doing that breathing.

That's like, like, you're like the ghost just passed through you. Why are you shivering? Like that kind, when a guy goes dead in the eyes and gets horny, women were just like thinking about like, is he going to hate my body?

Like what am I doing? I have spray tan on my underwear. That he's going to think is shit. Like all these thoughts are roiling around and we are not wet at all and we're worried about not being wet like we have so many thoughts that i just um i tend to like overthink things in those circumstances and um and yeah and you use them later on in comedy and you know it's like i'm sure a lot of your listeners because uh, like a lot of men tend to think that like female comics, like all they talk about is sex. Like, why don't like, that's just all you see underneath any Instagram photo of a female comic on some platform that isn't their own or some account is just men saying, oh, let me guess. It ends in her vagina, vagina, vagina. And it's just like,

yeah, I talk about that stuff because honestly, I was like, I talk about sex because I was scared of it my whole life. I didn't have sex until I was like 21.

I didn't have consensual sex until I was like 25. Like, I didn't know. I was just, I talk about it now because I think it's just interesting. Not because I'm like,

it's so easy and it's like all I can talk about. But it is easy for me. I will say that. But I also don't understand that argument when people'm like, it's so easy and it's all I can talk about. But it is easy for me. I will say that. But I also don't understand that argument when people are like, dirty comics are so... It's easy. It's like, why do you want me to do something hard?

Don't you want to see people who you are talented do the thing that's easy for them? Do you want to go see Paul McCartney play badminton? Of course, it should be easy. Is it easy for you to talk about your dick no in in front of thousands of people no that absolutely might be a talent so um but yeah that's why i talk about sex because i'm scared of it and i want it so before i knew more about you know the family dynamic because i hadn't watched the show so yeah all right so i watched the first episode and and I think this is probably a layup question you've been asked a million times is that like, I remember, okay, the first time I was ever on air, my father was listening. He was so excited.

It was like 20 years ago. Right. And then you could listen every single day. And my mother was like, he's so excited. Like plans your day around it, gets up early, listens to the radio. And then because my name is spelled R Y E N instead of A N because my parents just want to do something weird. I had said something about it. Like somebody called in and made fun of me. Hey, loser, how can you spell your name wrong? And I was like, well, look, I didn't have a vote. You know, like when they hit it, you're, you know, you're not really involved. A lot of kids aren't involved in that process. That's such a good point. When you get bullied for your name, it's like, I didn't choose this. Yeah was not like well hold on guys so i just said you know they were trying to do something a little different and then i i think i did like a hippie

voice for my dad was like hey let's throw an e in there or something yeah and then and then i got a call that day oh my god and he's like i had no idea you've been an apologist for your name your entire life and i was like all right we need to fucking calm down i was like we need to calm down i'm like you're going to be listening to me on the air every day and by the way i'm talking sports we don't cover sex a ton on this podcast so now that i see the dynamic with your parents who are hilarious and the relationship you have with your mother like i went from wanting to ask you like at what point do you just sensitize your family to like hey i'm just letting it fly to now that i saw the first episode i'm like actually, actually, now I totally get it.

So the question feels irrelevant. Oh, it's still it's still a good question because I still struggle with it, to be honest with you, like of where the line is, how much I think about them when they are. I know they're going to hear something because I have the same thing. I've really supportive parents who watch everything I do. They'll be listening to this like they consume everything. It's like a full-time job at this point. And it's, um, and it means so much to me that they do. Like, I think that's why I, I don't know about you. I, I, I don't know what I'm going

to do when my dad dies. I, I, the validation I get from him being like, you were so great on that. Like just the littlest things I do. It's like, it really feels like having an, you know, bringing home an art project from school and being like, look what I did. And it's like disgusting. And they hang it, you know, they frame it. Like I, I thrive on that validation. And it's weird because I talk about stuff that my dad does not want to hear about, but he still celebrates me. My mom can not like, I think blacks out during my set because she can never remember anything that I did that she liked or um and I get that my dad says that after performances that he watches of me if he'll go to a live show people come up to him afterwards and are like are you okay man like he was at my funeral like he like like do you need us to bring buy some food tomorrow like are you gonna be okay like

he because it's so disgusting the things I talk about. I struggle with, I just don't have a filter and I have some type of autism that makes it so I just don't care about talking about eating ass while my dad is still alive on this planet, like publicly. Like, you know, like I just, and it's not because I'm like, I want to challenge you, dad, make you uncomfortable. I really do relate to porn stars in the way of like, you know, this is the thing I do. I don't have shame about it. I'm

good at it. I not everyone can do it. You know, you can shame porn stars all you want. But like, are you fucking on camera? No, there's some bravery involved in that. There's something that they have that you don't. And you might argue, yes, abuse as a child, but whatever. That's what makes us who we are is trauma. So yes, I have whatever trauma or like neurodivergence that makes it. So I just say things that people are like, what are you doing? Um, and I have to remember, like, I think a lot of people with autism, like I'd not saying I have autism, although I was diagnosed by my dentist at the age of nine. Um, I think that I have to remember. With autism by your dentist?

Yeah, my dentist just one day, I was wearing that like lead. Like a hobby of his? Yeah, he thought I was like already diagnosed because I was talking about that lead vest that they put on you when they x-ray you. And I was just like trying to make small talk. And I was like, I love this.

It feels so good. It's my favorite thing. I love going to the dentist. I wish I could take this home. And he was like, yeah, a lot of autistic children good. It's my favorite thing. I love going to the dentist. I wish I could take this home. And he was like, yeah, a lot of autistic children respond to it that way, Nikki. That's really nice. And I didn't know what that word was. I was psyched to hear that I was something because I was a weird kid that had all these

sensory issues and just anxieties. And I was just weird. Like I was dying for a diagnosis so that it wouldn't be my fault. I was, you know, like your name, like it's not my fault. My dad gave it to me. Don't be my fault. I was like, your name, it's not my fault. My dad gave it to me. Don't be mad at me. But everything about me when I was young felt like no one else in our family is like this. She's just weird. So I was excited. I asked my mom, I was like, Dr. Wurmeister said I'm autistic and she didn't look into it. But I do think that I have to

remember other people aren't comfortable with this stuff. Be mindful of that because I just assume everyone feels the same way I do about stuff and is as comfortable. And it's really a struggle. Honestly, I look back on all my relationships. I'm like, I have to hold on to this man that I found in my life who doesn't seem to care that I talk this way on stage because it's a lot of guys are like, I'd love to date you because I talk so freely about sex. And I, it seems like I'm a very sexual person. I think men maybe are like, oh, I'd like to fuck you. But being in a relationship with someone who talks freely about their personal sex life

and says really gross things and your parents are still alive and you want to present this person to them. That's like a, that's a hard thing to deal with. And I just watched my reality show and I remember just saying to the guy that I'm dating, like, thank you for loving that girl because that is... Jesus Christ. I finally get it. I used to think I was a catch. Now I realize I'm a fucking catch and release. I'm not. I'm a lot joe rogan told me that one time on his podcast he was like you're a lot and i was very offended like in the moment because i'm like what does that mean and now i get it i'm just i'm a lot i'm exhausting um but i have a lot of funny people around me so thank god for that on this reality show i can kind of sit back and let them

be funny yeah because i'd always think like all right all right you get your reality you know like it's pitched to you okay the producer's like hey we're gonna do this and then it's like okay what if i don't like doing a lot of stuff you know like like okay we're gonna be yeah you're gonna be rollerblading which is the first episode it was like okay it looks like you and your boyfriend were really waiting so all right this makes sense but your mother is hilarious and so when you go back home you know i'd I imagine as a comedian and it's a reality show, you're like, I better like, do I have any zingers with me today? Like I have to, I know why I have the show is that I also have to be kind of funny and maybe make fun of some of these different things, but it's also your hometown.

So I feel like there's a little bit more to the dynamic of I'm famous. I'm this successful comedian, you know, I'm just going to be on camera, but but i don't know it's almost like they're trying to tell a little bit more of a story which maybe gives you a better foundation for the show than just hey it's all on nikki to be cracking us up every five minutes yes because i you know i i created the show i was living in st louis i still live there it's so funny people in the industry because we know that everything is fake you know like everyone in media is just like okay what did someone pitch this to you did you have to move back just for the show and it's so funny a lot of interviews i do afterwards they're like so where are you living now and i go st louis and they're like oh i thought that was just that's

just for the show though and i'm like that's what i thought that's how i started so that's because we know we every single person thinks that i would, too, because every we know that everything's fake, especially on reality TV. But this this show I wanted to do because I was like, I'm tired of working hard. You know, like that's why I like podcasts. That's why I like stand up. That's why I like reality TV. No scripts to learn. No jokes to write.

You just live and it's interesting enough. You just get on, you talk and it's just that's enough. And then, you know, the editors are what, they're responsible for making it funny. Like, I'm just going to live. And yeah, there were some times where I had to do things I didn't want to do, for sure. I mean, that's what reality TV is.

For me, it's all fake situations, but the emotions within them are real because these people, me, my parents, my friends, we're not good enough actors to like do lines or like have them go like, you need to be in a fight. So you just, yeah, I have to go rollerblading with the guy I'm dating. Would I do that normally? Fuck no.

Do I go canoeing with my dad? Would I do that? No, I'd be napping usually during the week when I'm not on the road. So there's a lot of situations. I compare it to the zoo when people are like, reality TV is fake. I'm like, well, do you go to the zoo and you go, this is fake? It's like, no, yes, these habitats are fake. is fake. I'm like, well, do you go to the zoo and you go, this is fake? It's like, no, yes,

these habitats are fake, but the animals within them are operating the way they would in this situation. So I'm the host of FBoy Island on HBO Max. And I learned through watching that process of, okay, reality shows are actually real. These people are falling in fucking love fast and just the way that you or I would in real life. But it is sped up because if you have a situation where all the people are doing all day, if I gave you, if I put you on an island and the only people you interacted with were the girls that you were dating and the other guys that were dating

the girls you're dating and every producer you talked to, every person you ever talked to was talking to you about the people you're dating and who you like and that guy likes you and you didn't have a phone. You couldn't talk to your parents. You couldn't talk to your friends. Every meal you eat is in between scenes where you're talking about dating. You will fall in love so fucking fast. It is a pressure cooker and it, and it, people's emotion, you know, you see these people want to get engaged at the end of a three week period. I used to roll my eyes at it. And now I absolutely understand. It's just speeding up the treadmill of

life. These producers know exactly how to make people truly fall in love. There were times on FBoy Island where I was just like, there's no fucking way that she likes him this much. And I was secretly like, this is all bullshit. And then one episode later, I'm crying at the, you know, whatever, you know, our finale or our elimination ceremony, because I'm like, you guys are meant to be like, I could feel the love like it was. It's real. So that's why I came up with the idea for the show. I was like, oh, I just I kind of want to do more interesting things. I want to date more people. I was single at the time when I pitched it and I really struggled dating. I just feel so nervous one-on-one with a guy

and like new guys. That's like why I keep going back to my ex. I just like, I already know him. The sex is like predictable. Like I get scared of sex, intimacy and all these things. And I go, okay, maybe if I do a reality show for the sake of entertainment, I can do anything if there's a camera on me and not because I'm like, look at me, but it's just,

there's something that makes it not so indulgent because I'm like, well, it's for the sake of entertainment. I'm not just like, I don't know. I can just do, I was on Dancing with the Stars. Like I wouldn't, I don't dance at weddings. Like the fact that I dance live on TV is insane, but I did it because there was some kind of pressure of television. So I wanted to do this show so I could find a fucking husband. But then by the time the show started filming, I was, you know, a year after I pitched it, I was seeing someone and he

did not want to be on camera. But I was like, okay, well, I can date you off camera, but I'm definitely dating on camera and I'm going to actually try to find someone. I'm not going to fake it. And he was like, okay, well, then I'll be on camera. Everyone on the show does not want to be on the show. That's another thing about this reality show. It's the only reality show on TV where no one wants to be famous except me and my roommate, Andrew, because we're in the business.

Like everyone else had to be coerced. And there's something refreshing about that because they're not actors. They, they are themselves on camera because they don't, they don't even know how to fake it. They don't even know what that would look like so it's there's something nice about that that's uh that's a funny summary and you could say that you know the things that you like you actually do decorate your place goodwill in the beginning of that episode it was like i don't know if she's going to be into this and then it's like no wait a couple of those pillows actually make sense yeah my room here we go i wear stuff from good i was just watching my show last night i'm like every shirt i'm wearing in my like interviews was from goodwill like i do i i made sure

because i just like hate when we lump any kind of perfection onto celebrities and i was starting to get a lot of like oh my god you're so beautiful and perfect i mean this is from me appearing on tv where i have fake hair and fake eyelashes and fake tan and girls just being like, oh my God, I want your skin. I want your legs. You're so happy. And I mean, I would be on my own Instagram sometimes when I was depressed just to like look at back of my life and I'd start getting jealous of myself. Like she has it all. When I knew the truth that I didn't have it all, I was very depressed. A lot of times I'm anxious. I have bad self have low self-esteem.

I have days where I just look in the mirror and I'm like, I look four months pregnant or I look like a man a lot of times. And there's times where I just hate who I am. And I wanted to make sure, that's when I was like, I got to do a reality show because people need to know the truth. I'm so tired of celebrities being put on this pedestal

to make everyone feel fucking bad about themselves. Like men and women, it's not just a women thing anymore where we compare ourselves. Like everyone's so goddamn fake. And then it's even worse because everyone goes, this is the real me. And it's like them with like out makeup and they just look a little bit like less done up. And they're like, this is my real skin. You're like, no, you have tattooed eyebrows. You are incapable of being yourself without makeup because you tattooed your face. You've tinted moisturizer on. This whole like, I'm

real and like hugging, like putting their cellulite, like scrunching it up and being like, this is the real me. But their like apartment is beautiful and spotless. There's always something in it that's like, but this part of my life is perfect. And I'm a real, I look like faces of meth in some of these scenes that are on my show.

Like I look rough. And I think I'm taking the place of the Kardashians. We fucking need that. I'm tired of seeing reality shows where it's like, this is the real us. And it's just not, it's soft lighting. They had four hours of hair and makeup to go to a scene where they go to a farmer's market.

I mean, it's all fucking bullshit. I'm tired of it. So, yeah, that's kind of my goal is just to like, just be honest, I guess. And I just like, I hate celebrity. I just think. No, wait, what? I really do. I fucking hate celebrities.

I think I hate the Met Gala. I hate. Would you go? Have you been? Of course I would go. I would love to be invited but i hate it i hate everything that i think celebrities actors are fucking fake as fuck i think that um so rarely do we get one that's actually real they're boring as hell you know i can't get on a tonight show or or like a couch with a fucking late night host to save my life. But I don't understand because and I don't want to be the first guest. I'm not first guest

material. But second guest, who's going to be better second guest than me? Some B-list fucking actor from whatever streamings like actors are not interesting. Do you know that, guys? We worship these models. Oh my God, Queen. Has the Hadid ever said anything interesting? I don't even know what they sound like, but we worship these people who are fake as fuck because all they do is they are actors. And I'm not saying comedians are the answer, but I'm telling you, the Oscars thing wound me up because I was like, God, comedians are just, no one gives a fuck about us, even though we make everything interesting and watchable.

The Oscars are unwatchable with someone making jokes. You just see these people get up and mumble at a mic and, like, fake cry about an award. Like, for what? What did you do? You just pretended to be someone for a couple months, and it is very entertaining, and thank you for your service.

But like, this isn't, like you're not doing the Lord's work and neither am I by being a comedian. I'm not saying we're like, we are the true truth tellers and we're the modern day philosophers. We're just idiots with dick jokes and low self-esteem

and mothers who didn't love us enough too. But like, stop acting like you're better than everyone. And it's just like, I don't know. I went off on there, but I'm just like, I kind of, I want to get in there. My goal is I want to get famous so I can call out famous people for what they're really like.

And because once you get in the business, you start to hear stories about what people are really like off camera. You know, we know some of these stories that have come out. The Ellen situation. Everyone knew that. Everyone in the business knew about Ellen.

You get off the plane in LA to have a career and they tell you, oh, by the way, Ellen's not nice. It's like a lay in Hawaii. They like put it around your head and they're like, this is your gift for landing in LA. You get to know Ellen's not nice. And you go, no.

And they go, yeah, she's not nice. And then you go, I'm going to go tell my mom back in Missouri. And they go, she's not going to believe you, but just, yeah, sure. Go,

go tell people they're not going to believe you because they don't until it came out. But there's so many stories like that. And by the way, I, if I saw Ellen, I would like, I love Ellen.

She's allowed to be a bet. Like, have you been on the show or probably not now? No, no, no. And I never will be because you know it's gone now but and um if i saw it on the other way it's tough to get she's ending yeah it's

over i guess yeah that's that's that's my excuse um but no i just think that i my goal now is to get more famous so that i can be i can say the truth about celebrities and what I know and I won't get canceled. Because now I do walk this line of like, okay, don't say too much because her publicist, she can call her publicist and go, okay, that bitch that talked about me on that podcast,

this Nikki Glasser, I will never be on any show that has her on. And guess who will never have me on because they want to have that woman on. If you're more famous, you have power. We saw it with Will Smith. If Chris Rock would have slapped Will Smith,

do you think Chris Rock would have been able to sit back down? No, he's less famous and revered. So he would have been... See, but that went... I don't know. Chris Rock is way up there. I think it was because it was so surprising. Hey, let me ask you this then

because I wasn't sure how it would transition but you already said it perfectly um social media is as you pointed out like it's it's not it's not where you go to like find out what people are really thinking at times right because if you're motivated enough to say something then it means you're likely going to be negative because i always kind of feel like people write complaint letters, but nobody ever writes you a letter to compliment anyone. Right. So true. Yes. When like it happens and somebody had some writer had a great tweet, like 24 hours later, he's like, what if Will Smith just slapped Chris Rock? What if, what if maybe that was it? Maybe if it wasn't a reflection of society, it wasn't all these things, these moving pieces. And you know what I mean? He goes, what if Will Smith just slapped him? And that's all it was.

Then it turned into something that I've seen more and more the last couple of years. It was like, why do we even need comedians? Right? Like as if the collective industry is to blame for any of this stuff ever happening because no one should ever be made fun of ever again because we just want to be more respectful. No, my God. What is that like in your world? Like, cause I, do you even care? Is it even a topic? Cause it's certainly not. I want to be more respectful. No, my God. What is that like in your world?

Like, because do you even care? Is it even a topic? Because it's certainly not. I want to give people a world without comedy. Let's get, let's give you, is that what you, is that what everyone really wants is like sincerity all the time? I don't think you could handle it. That's not a world I want to live in. I want to make fun of people who are being so cool and fake and pretentious.

Like that's what comedians and comedians are those things as well too there are comedians living you know lies on stage where they're not the person that they're presenting at all even though they're presenting like i tell the truth this is the this is the raw side of me and then you find out that they do disgusting things behind this that's not the whole story so um but i do the whole thing of like don't make make fun of anyone. I just, it's just, I really truly think I turned off the Oscars that night early. I went to bed early. Because you like actors so much. Because I just, because I knew all the comedians, Amy, Wanda, and well, Regina isn't a comedian, but Amy and Wanda were done doing their bits.

There was no more comedy to be had. I was like, I'm not interested in this anymore. I don't want to watch things that are not... Yes, I can understand watching a drama and there's no comedy in it, but the Oscars are not actors acting and doing what they do best. They're just actors patting themselves on the back and being boring and wearing outfits that they're uncomfortable in. It's like, there's nothing interesting about that.

I just think, yeah, with the whole, you know, PC culture, you know, canceled culture, it's real. It's terrifying. I definitely worry. I worry about being canceled by celebrities that I make fun of more than the general public because I do worry about losing my career because I like making money. And not to just, you know, I just want to like make sure my parents like when they get cancer, I can like pay their bills. That's really like all I want money for is when people in my life get sick that I can go,

I've got it. Don't worry about insurance. Don't worry. Because stress adds so much to your disease that people, you know, once you get a disease, you stress over bills and then you're done. So I just that's why I work. I take every job because I'm like my mom. My parents are going to get cancer. Everyone does.

I just want to go, Dad, relax. Well, I got it. But I'm worried about being canceled for that reason. And, but I also think like, I never intentionally want people to like, I hate celebrities, but I don't really,

like I'm mad at JLo for pretending like all she does is like use her skincare line instead of get like, you know, facelifts. But I still feel sad for her that she has to do that i'm not like she's a bad person should suffer like i don't want to hurt anyone so i think when comedians make jokes that actually just hurt people in general if it's funny enough you can

go i thought it was funny you know what that was it was a bad take i you can i can apologize my point is if i hurt someone and someone tries to cancel me and be like, that's racist, I'll go, I really did not think that was contributing to Black people being marginalized in society. And now that I know that you felt that way,

I'm actually sorry. I don't want to do that. I tell people at my shows, it was like, don't come up and hit me. Just leave Venmo or ask me on DM for Venmo for your returns of your ticket

because you had a bad time. And explain to me why my take was wrong. Because I don't want to keep putting out stuff that is going to make people who are minorities feel even more marginalized. I don't want to contribute to that. But stereotypes are hilarious. And I toe that line, but i am absolutely willing to

apologize for offending people but you know don't hit me about it that's my that's my don't i don't even have don't hit nikki yeah yeah don't hit me if there's any overriding message of this podcast you want anyone to know that all right you ready to do a couple questions here before we go yeah We want anyone to know that. All right. Are you ready to do a couple questions here before we bounce? Yeah. You want details?

Bye. I drive a Ferrari 355 Cabriolet. What's up? I have a ridiculous house in the South Fork. I have every toy you can possibly imagine. And best of all, kids, I am liquid. So now you know what's possible. Let me tell you what's required all right life advice rr at gmail.com um all right stand-up comedy here although i think a lot of guys are just trying to figure out a way to ask you out so i could for really

yeah i'll tell you those emails to you you don't want this guys think they do guys are like no guys do not like female comics they can be like yeah they're funny but they don't want this guys think they do guys are like no guys do not like female comics they can be like yeah they're funny but they don't really want to fuck us we're too loud and annoying like it's too much yapping and guys all right it's just you don't want this okay here's here's a better one though because i think you're gonna really like this okay good because it's kind of along those lines but it's maybe not specific to you, but somehow includes me into this. All right. So here we go. Our guy Josh checking in. Wanted to hear the perspective of a female celebrity.

I live in LA and occasionally bumped into some female celebrities, gym, coffee shop, work-related events. He's 25, 5'10", 170. He's a good-looking guy, obviously confident, works in production. It's fairly common for me to exchange pleasantries with some celebs and have a casual conversation. But I usually just leave it there and let them go on their day. I've always wanted to try to shoot my shot for when the situation feels right. But it feels odd being some random guy asking a famous person.

And your experience, Nikki, and maybe Ryan, too. I like that I was included in this one. Does it feel weird for someone to approach you that knows you're famous or a fan of yours and try to ask you out? Mostly guys just ask me about basketball. But do you want to hang out and be friends? I mean, it's the same thing as wanting to be friends with celebrity. I will say that the worst approach is to act like you aren't familiar with the person. Because when guys go, I've never heard of you. I don't care if you've never heard of me. It's fine. I'm not offended by that. But I'm not going to probably want to hang out with you because if you haven't at least heard my name, then you don't enjoy comedy or stand-up comedy. And so we're probably not going to get along because I like stand-up comedy. So

that just to me tells... You don't need to be a super fan, but it's very flattering. I think that if you saw a girl at the gym that is famous and you're a fan, it's a casual like, hey, I really enjoy your work. You know, say something like that. Specific, though, maybe like I really liked this. It's a big fan. I got to say specific is a lot of times, you know this Ryan, because when people will come up to you and say like what they love of yours,

it's usually something that you've heard a million times. They think it's very specific. Like, I love this one roast joke you did Nikki. And they'll think that like they're proving themselves as like this Uber fan, which they are, no doubt about it. But what they don't know is I've heard that from every single person because everyone's trying to be specific. So I like a general, I like your work. And celebrities are so insecure that if you

say you liked one thing, we take it as you didn't like the rest and that you only like that one thing. And a lot of times that one thing you like was a line our friend gave us or a joke that was written by one of the writers on the show, or it was a joke that we don't really like ourselves. And so suddenly you've completely... Wow, this is great. I'm learning. It's not just the email. I'm learning now.

Nothing's specific. It's true. It's like, I don't mind specifics because there are times people go, I love this one roast joke. And I'm like, wow, I don't even remember that one. And that was actually one of my favorites. And thank you.

But generally, people pick the same things. And it's like the thing of the bystander effect where you do something, you don't do something or you do something because you think everyone does it. So a lot of times people don't approach celebrities or ask them out because they go, everyone's shooting their shot with her. But everyone thinks that everyone is. So no one does. I'm on TV so often on things or I'll pop up. Someone will talk about me on a popular podcast. And it's, you know, Howard Stern will mention me.

I have so many friends that listen to Howard Stern. And no one will write me about it because they think that she's probably getting thousands of texts about this. So no one does. So I say shoot your shot because everyone else is going, everyone's trying to hit up Margot Robbie. So no one does. Models and celebrities,

I think get hit on way less than you think. They actually, I think that if you are brave enough to, it shows confidence. And that is so sexy to a woman. All you have to say is I'm a fan of your work. Maybe if you see this person frequently, first'm a fan of your work maybe if you see this person frequently first as a fan of your work chat them up a little bit and then the next

time is you just give them your number the best pickup technique i ever heard is from my friend he's a australian um celebrity his name's andy lee but he um said you get write down your email and and this was back when i guess texting was less ubiquitous. But you write down your email or number or whatever, and you give it to them and say, Hey, here's my number. Here's my email. Email's a little less immediate. Email's good. Here's my email. If you want to ever go out, shoot me your number.

And if I don't hear from you, I'm just going to convince myself that you lost this piece of paper. And if you do, great. So it's like a smooth thing where it's like you're making a joke. You're obviously... And you just leave. So it's in her hands you've made it clear you're not like hey can i get your number and she's like oh just give her your email say this is you know it's not a phone yet but if you want to give me your number email it to me and i think that's a good move that would be funny though like because you have the guys that will do or a girl can do it too so

give the six of the seven numbers and be like it's up to you and then but you could do with the email and just have it be dot co and then it's up to you that's really funny to figure it out all right you can steal that if you want that's really good all right we got a stand-up one here um hey nikki 30 year old dentist i don't know wait a minute where's this guy out of st louis We got a stand-up one here. Hey, Nikki, 30-year-old dentist. I don't know. Wait a minute. Is this guy out of St. Louis? Yeah.

Is he diagnosing children? All right. Trying to get into the stand-up game. There's just moments where I'm gazing into an 85-year-old woman's plaque-filled mouth and wonder exactly what is my life. Obviously, I have to drill teeth to eat, but I'd least like to get... At first, that was a little confusing. I was like, are you doing the standard routine and the patients?

But no, he's talking about dentistry. Okay, so he's like, look, I want to make this a solid side gig. I've done several shows, and the ones in front of crowds who weren't all comedians have gone pretty well, got some solid laughs. However, these shows are kind of few and far between, and the rest of the time I've performed, it's been at open mics where the only crowd is the other people performing. And pretty much every single open mic I've been to, the room is just fucking dead.

Some of the performers are solid, but almost everything gets met with soul crushing silence. The environment kind of sucks to perform in. So basically, he's like, should I try to figure something else out? Are the open mics a waste of time? No, they're all you have. Honestly, it sucks. But it's true. It's like,

I feel that, you know, and 30 is not too old. There's never too old to start because you're going to kick yourself when you actually do get the balls to start and you're going to go, fuck, why didn't I do this sooner?

So just stop dilly-dallying and get, just do it. It's, you're going to bomb so severely. I've gone up in front of so many rooms of just like cool comics who are just there judging you, hate you because you might be funnier than them, or they think you might suck. And so they don't laugh or they laugh sarcastically. It's brutal. But you need to practice saying things into a microphone in front of people. I can do anything now because nothing hurts as much as those times where I bombed in front of comedians that I revered in my different scenes.

I started in St. Louis and Kansas City and then LA. I was on the open mic scene. It was brutal. But there's nothing that you'll ever feel that's worse than that. So it prepares you for the future. It prepares you for when you say a joke on stage and Will Smith starts trampling up towards you. Those moments, nothing surprises you after that. Stand-up comedy is not comfortable. And if you want it to be, you're not cut out for it. But if you have that urge where you're thinking about it all the time and you just feel like it's

this missed opportunity, just do it. There's no easy way to do it. I wish there were. I wish there was some streamlined thing. It's just about getting those 10,000 hours and you've got jump on Zoom shows. At any practice, I do recommend people starting a podcast or putting out YouTube videos of them on mic. Even if your dad is just watching, it's practice. It's you on mic. That's why I do a podcast four days a week as opposed to one because I want those 10,000 hours quicker.

I want to be better. And that's why I used to do five sets a night because I knew every set was contributing to me being closer to being an expert and being undeniable. And there's no other way to get there. So just do it. All right.

That's a good one. All right. Here's a different one. Six one guys chime in with their height. We don't know how it started and their weight different. Oh, six, 28 mile. He says he can dunk on a good day. So these are all my God.

Six. All right. Just factor all these in when you answer. All right. I'm into it. good day. So these are all just factor all these in when you answer this. I am a quote, standup comedian living in a city with a great comedy and open mic scene. I've been doing standup for roughly six months. I go to nightly open mics and I'm able to get a few laughs here and there. I like some of my jokes, but get tired of them quickly and find myself abandoning the ones that

work because I no longer find them funny. My question for Nikki is how do I stay confident in my material? Am I abandoning these jokes because deep down I know they're not great or am I abandoning them because I'm lazy and don't want to dig deeper into the material? Man, I relate to this so much, dude. This is so common. You're speaking my language. I do the same thing. I think that's good. I think it's good that you were like, you get tired. You go, okay, like, you know, it's your 629 mile. You're like, okay, I don't want to, I want to run 628 now.

You just like, you get bored with the thing that, you already accomplished the thing. Okay, I did a good joke. It gets laughs. Everyone, you know, if you're doing open mics, comedians are there

and they've already heard that joke. So you're constantly wanting to do better. Now, don't forget those jokes because years later, when you're performing for different crowds who haven't heard it, you can re-approach those ones and breathe new life into them. But no, I think that is a great... I love... I think this is what makes a good comedian. The kind of comedians I like is ones that don't just do the same material over and over and over. That means you're present. That means you're actually having fun on stage. That means you're not just doing a performance. You are invested in the time you're having. You're bored with those jokes, so you're not

doing them. I don't want to watch a comedian who's just... That's why I don't go to Broadway shows. I feel bad that they're just like, I'm a robot performing. There's nothing they can do different to make it fun for them. I mean, I'm sure there's little things, but I like when comedians are doing what they want to do, even if it's not the jokes I want to hear. At least I want them to be happy. I want them to be having fun. So I think you're...

Don't lose those jokes. Write them down, keep them somewhere, and return to them when you're a better comedian and you'll breathe life into them and they'll be so much funnier. Okay, last one. And this is kind of like, we've gotten this from a ton of different people. All right. And it was very relationship driven in that.

I think it was a lot of people in New York City, but it plays in any major city where it's like they go to the open mics and they feel like, okay, I'm sitting by myself. How hard do I have to work at making friends? Hard. Yeah. So how realistic, well well not realistic because we know that it's very realistic what is that unless you're the best comic on scene and have like

this kind of a lot of there are a lot of comedians every comedian listening in a small town knows the guy who's like a brilliant robot joke writer who just writes these jokes that you're like mitch headberg-esque but is a social socially anxious kind of... I think Mitch Hedberg was actually very friendly on stage, but the guy that keeps to himself is kind of scary offstage, but onstage is just the comic's favorite comic because he just does these brilliant jokes. That guy doesn't need to be kind and social. He'll be fine. And there's no choice he really really has but if you're someone who generally likes people wants to make friends like try to find your crew

because I my advice to comedians all the time is be cool and nice and supportive after a comedian gets off stage

go up and say I love that one joke great set like be be nice because first of all you want it too

and it'll come back to you. All we want as comedians is for people to love us. People think comedians love to like get people uncomfortable and make us and challenge things. No, we are desperate to be liked. Why are we doing something where we need to know you if you like us every five seconds because you laugh? Otherwise, we'd be singers and songwriters

that wait four minutes until the applause that is mandatory. Like we desire people liking us. So be nice. And also the way to get ahead because this industry is so fucked that you don't start making money till you're, you know, a headliner, like good money and anything before that you make garbage money,

unless a headliner likes you and takes you on the road with them and then supplements the money. The clubs are not, you know, the clubs are paying you a hundred bucks a show show so a lot of times a cool headliner that's your friend that brings you on the road will give you all of their dates and then also throw money on top of that the only way to actually make money as an opener is to be cool and to be someone that comedians go god i want this guy around everyone that i've ever brought on the road to open for me, or written the Fallon book or to be like,

you need to check out this kid or whatever. Not only have they been funny, which should always be your number one goal, but they've been nice guys and nice girls and just cool people that are fun to be around, easy to be around, helpful. I always tell young comics, if a comic is coming in town,

go to their shows, compliment the fuck out of them. There's never anyone that's too famous that they don't want to hear the good job. I learned that when Chris Rock, I was at the Comedy Cellar one night years ago, and Chris Rock was coming off stage and going up the stairs. And I was like, he had a good set, obviously. But like, did I need to say good set to Chris Rock? Like, obviously. And so I wasn't going to say it. to Chris Rock, like, obviously.

And so I wasn't going to say it. And then I go, wait, is there ever going to be a time in my life where I won't want to hear Good Set, no matter how famous I get from, you know, another comedian, not that he knew I was a comedian, but like, you never tire of hearing Good Job. It's just make it quick.

You don't need to fawn over them. And like, can I have your autograph? Can I have a picture? Just go. I love your work. Like, just, I always tell people to drive by compliments to celebrities, just to minimize annoyance.

But celebrities love compliments. They love it. And so I remember saying to Chris Rock, good set. And I remember he looked at me like he needed it. You know, like, thank you. Like, we still want it. So be cool.

Be complimentary. Offer to get them weed if they're in a town like Bloomington, Indiana, where they don't know where to get weed. And you know that they smoke weed. Offer to drive them places while they're in town. Be helpful. Don't be weird. Do not ask them to watch your set and to give you notes. Please, for the fucking love of God, just do the work. No comedian is going to watch your set. They'll watch your set eventually on their own time. Do

not ask comedians that aren't on your same level for help on your set and to watch your set. Don't do it. When people ask me that, I'm not rude about it, but I just go, no, I'm not going to do that because I never did that. I wouldn't bother Doug Benson, who I opened for, Bert Kreischer, who I used to open for, all these. I wouldn't have been like, can you watch my set?

I was embarrassed of my set. You should be. You suck. You're new. You suck. Until you're like 10 years in, you fucking suck. You're new. You suck. Until you're like 10 years in, you fucking suck. Sorry.

Not everyone, but like, just don't bother comedians. Just be helpful. Be fun to be around. Be a good time. Laugh at their jokes. And I guarantee you,

they'll go, do you ever go on the road? I'm like, do you want to maybe open for me next weekend? I'm in Peoria. And then you'll start getting gigs because you're just cool and easy to be around. So being friendly is a huge,

huge part of doing stand-up. Huge. Be social. Be nice. This was awesome. Just so everybody knows again, Nikki's show, Welcome Home, Nikki Glazer's on E! The first episode was May 1st. I enjoyed it. Thank you. And of course, you've got your podcast that's out. God, that episode was May 1st. I enjoyed it. Thank you.

And of course, you've got your podcast that's out. And it's out. God, that's quite a few episodes. I didn't realize you were doing that much. I used to do it. We do it Monday through Thursday. It's insane. I, you know, I'm a workaholic.

But yeah, I just like doing something every day too. I used to love morning radio shows, driving to work, expecting the same thing every day. And there's something about when you do one podcast a week that every time it shows up, you go, Ugh!

But if you're going to the gym once a week, or you're going to the gym four times a week, there's something habitual about it where it's like, Oh, this is just what I do. As opposed to like, Oh, I got to do a podcast tomorrow. It's just like, Yeah. Okay.

Well, I also eat breakfast and fucking take a shit. It's just part of my day now. And 10,000 hours, man. You got to get those. Yeah, I totally get it. I go to fucking take a shit. It's just part of my day now. And 10,000 hours, man. You got to get those. Yeah, I totally get it. I go to the gym a lot. Yeah. I don't go to the gym at all.

That was a bad analogy for me too. But I assume people that go to the gym do find it easier if they make it a habit. Thanks a lot, Nikki. I appreciate it. Thank you, Ryan with a knee. Okay. I hope you guys enjoyed that. Please subscribe to the Ryan Rosillo Podcast.

We're on Spotify. Thanks to Kyle and Steve, as always. And we will be back on Thursday. Thank you.