The Ryen Russillo Podcast - Game 1: No Surprises and Tales From the Couch With Wosny Lambre. Plus, the Greatest Surfer of All Time, Kelly Slater.

Episode Date: June 2, 2023

Russillo shares his Tales From the Couch after Game 1 of the NBA Finals (0:33) before talking with The Ringer's Wosny Lambre about Nuggets-Heat going mostly as expected, some positive takeaways for Miami, Jokic's dominance of the game while seldom scoring, things to look for in Game 2, and more (14:05). Then, Ryen is joined by 11-time World Surf League champion Kelly Slater to talk about his win at the Billabong Pro Pipeline last year in Oahu, his first experience big-wave surfing, the unprecedented length of his professional surfing career, his historic rivalry with Andy Irons, and more (41:00). Finally, Ryen answers some listener-submitted Life Advice questions (1:14:43). Host: Ryen Russillo Guests: Kelly Slater and Wosny Lambre Producer: Kyle Crichton Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

late night release here game one in the books denver pretty dominant at home some of the stuff that i saw quick tales from the couch nine minutes or so we'll do 20 plus minutes with was on that and uh something we've been working on for a while so we're going to run it tonight kelly slater the greatest surfer ever his career career and kind of where it's going as it winds up now at 51 years old and life advice. This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats. Winter is here. So be prepared and get almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. What do I mean by almost anything? Well, you can't get a ski slope, but dish soap, definitely doable. Sunshine, that's no. A bottle of wine, yeah. And a snow day, again, no.

But blueberry muffins with the delicious crumb topping, total yes. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol and select markets. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. Denver wins game one of the NBA finals, 104-93, obviously at home against Miami Heat, and it felt pretty easy. So just minutes ago, this game ended.

Take a look at the notes here. Right away, looking at how Miami wants to defend Jokic and the zone stuff that we're talking about, which I think there's two different segments of this game that I kind of want to focus on because I'm pretty sure I know how it's going to play out for adjustments in a game too. So we'll kind of focus on the zone and some of the other stuff that we all saw from the game. Miami wants to front Jokic.

It's great because Van Gundy immediately, you know, that's what he's been thinking about for days. OK, from the jump, if he's coaching the game, what is he looking for? OK, what's Miami going to do? They were fronting him. But the real big problem Miami had defensively was Aaron Gordon. He's getting deep seals. had defensively was Aaron Gordon. He's getting deep seals.

They also got him into some switches where it felt like he was getting deep post position just right under the rim on just setting himself up, doing the work early. There are other times, something that Miami tried to get away with, I saw in a possession later on where they would get a switch with Murray, two-man game it. And then the great thing is you don't have to then be Murray to get the entry pass to Gordon. You can swing it to Jokic. You can throw it over the top every the entire time. So that was a problem for Miami to begin.

The other problem is that Caleb Martin turned back into Caleb Martin in this game. He ended up going 1-7 overall. He had a three. There were some threes late there that we'll get to. But Miami shot it pretty poorly at 1.6-19, I believe, to start in this one. Miami actually was getting hurt by threes from Denver. It was some of the Aaron Gordon stuff and also just Jokic deciding he wasn't going to shoot in the first quarter. Jokic's first shot attempt in the game was after

a turnover off a deflection where the ball ended up in his hands right underneath the rim and he just put it up at the rim, three seconds left, and Denver led it 29-20 after the first I do think some of the positives for Miami here is that the way they're playing against Bam they're totally okay with just dropping you know there's different games throughout the season where I've seen what Denver's asked Jokic to do defensively I'll never forget that game I think back in March when Dinwiddie had a million assists and a lot of it was because they were asking Jokic to blitz Dinwiddie the whole time. And,

you know, despite the online beefs we've seen from Dinwiddie, he's a smart player and he ate it up and the Nets beat him. It was kind of that weird stretch where Denver may have mailed it in because they were in the one seat. They just weren't playing that great. But I always thought like, I don't know that you'd want Jokic to show on that and blitz the ball

handler for an entire game. It's just asking a lot of anybody, especially somebody who, if there's one knock against Jokic, it's the athleticism. So it seemed pretty clear that Denver was determined to let Bam get good looks as long as that meant that Jokic was dropping, even though I think a couple of times he did come up. And for the most part, he was dropping. And that's why Bam had a great game. He looked terrific. He had 23 shot attempts, I believe through three quarters, which is a career high for field goal attempts in any game. At the half, oh no, before we do that, Jokic comes out in the second quarter and Miami goes zone at 29-22.

like 29-22, and Murray hits a three against the first possession that I have as a zone. Right, so then it's a 10-point game. There's no Jokic. So they haven't shown the zone yet. And to be clear to me, just taking notes and keeping track of it at home, I'm sure I've missed a position here or there that they actually ended up in zone. Sometimes it's weird because there's a bit of a scramble off a miss, so it's not a fast break, but guys are kind of cross-matched, and maybe they're supposed to be in zone, but they can't really go to it. Then you have the problems where I think on an Aaron Gordon play late

where he got the free throws, they just totally left him and let him get to the rim. That was very late in the game because, look, you get lost sometimes and you're kind of scrambling. So let's go over those zone possessions again. Murray hits a three. They get another three by Michael Porter Jr. So the whole point of like this Miami zone and Jokic isn't in there

because they're worried about it. Then it's getting eaten up. Jeff Green gets a deep middle catch jump hook. And then another zone possession ends up as an offensive rebound. There's another one. So there's like five in a row here where I actually thought they were all good looks that Denver ended up getting. They got a turnover on the last one

during this run, but they did get deep from this. So Jokic comes back in at 39-31 and Denver starts to pull away here a little bit. Looking at the halftime score here, we're at 59-42 and Jokic has taken three total shots

in this game. It's worth repeating because it's the right observation with Curry. The gravity of Curry is different because of his shooting. It's a gravity that we really never see, except we're seeing it right now with Jokic, and his gravity is just different because you're constantly not only worried about him because he could shoot it way more if he wants to.

We can all see that. But he's always willing to kind of wait the possession out a little bit longer to see if there's one other good look because he can then default back to taking probably still a pretty good jumper because he's a really good shooter and you're not going to really be able to contest a shot but the gravity for him is different in that you're it's not like when Steph gets the ball and two guys stay with him and then there's a back cut who's wide open. It's that Jokic gets the ball and you're still freaked out about helping. Do you go to double him? Because if you double him, you're screwed against him.

Every possession, he does everything right. It was great to see him get a triple-double in his finals debut. The only other player to do that since Jason Kidd. The shooting for Miami was a mess. The final three-point shooting numbers are going to look like they weren't that bad. It was 13 to 39, 33%. You could usually live with that, but I think that's misleading because over the course of the game, and the game was still in the balance, they just weren't shooting it well enough. On top of that, they only took two free throws, which is now a finals record for the least amount of free throw attempts

by a team in an NBA finals game. Honestly, watching a game, I don't feel like that was off. It actually kind of felt right. Miami comes out in the fourth quarter, though, an 8-0 run. And prior to that, Jokic was still in. So I think Malone wanted to keep Jokic in to carry over the fourth quarter. Sometimes they'll do some different stuff there where it's like, put the game away.

They're up 21 points. But Miami continues at this point in the beginning of the fourth quarter. It felt like they had been missing everything. Of the 84 points Jokic and Murray had assisted or scored on 69 of them, Miami went to a zone with Jokic still in. They got a really easy look miss from Jokic. Zone again, Murray gets right to the paint, just sets up at the free throw line, gets a step in.

He was so open, I think he missed it because he was so open. So the first two zone looks with Jokic in the game, I'm going, all right, will something happen here where the numbers will look like Miami figured out something defensively saying, because I think you're going to hear that between now and game two, where somebody's going to say, hey, they need to play more zone. I think that's misleading because it definitely didn't work in the first half without Jokic. The overall points per possession may look lower, but I still really like the looks, especially in the beginning of this. Another zone possession as Miami's put together this little 8-0 run.

It actually ended up being an 11-0 run start to fourth quarter. They collapsed on Jokic, and that ended up being the Murray wedgie jump ball. Then Miami takes the ball. Then the defense actually did step up here a little bit where Jokic had a jumper that was a miss, but it was really good defense. Um, then there was a green layup where he really didn't have much of a chance against it. And then Michael Porter Jr. took like a weird, I'm just hanging out over here by myself. I'm going to take a Jalen Brown three, uh, that didn't really make a ton of sense. So now the zone is looking like it's actually having an impact, which I thought was real.

Miami then, they didn't get burnt in transition. They themselves had very little transition in this game. But you always know with Jokic, it's like, okay, you know what? We've had a couple of stagnant possessions. This is kind of that

old school point guard mentality. Let me try something else. He pushes, gets in transition. He gets the free throws. And so I write down here, I'm just not sure. I sound like I'm obsessed with zone talk here, but I think the numbers, once you look at some of the, you know, whoever looks up second spectrum and that kind of stuff, you're going to see, you're going to see some numbers that I think are misleading, even though, you know, it was good defense on the Murray turnaround after that. I thought it was good defense on a desperate Bruce Brown three. Michael Porter Jr. took a weird ISO three. We already touched on that one. Murray takes another desperate three, but they ended up with an offensive rebound. And then Jokic comes back in at 440. KCP had a miss against the zone.

So some of these things started adding up to looking like effective zone defense despite the fact, I think the numbers are going to be a little misleading. And the fact that Denver's going to be playing against it more often, because I'm sure Miami will go to it. They'll look at the numbers. They'll look at the film. I don't think the numbers are going to equate to the film all that much.

Alright, stop repeating the same thing over and over again. Another question here. James Butler. Jimmy Butler, 13 points, 6-12. We saw in Game 6, despite him making a ton of shots in the Eastern Conference Finals, it felt like it was just a little stagnant, afraid to shoot, feels harsh because he actually ended up taking, I think, almost 20 shots in that game. But he was a disappearing act for a good chunk of this.

He had one field goal attempt in the fourth quarter. Highsmith ends up with this one with 18, and that's where Miami actually gets at the single digits here late. It never felt like a real threat, although things can happen. You know, another missed three. They come down and make a three at six points. You're looking at it going, how did that happen? It didn't happen.

Jokic put together some really nice possessions. They get to the free throw line a few more times and I think there's some garbage three makes that are going to mislead the overall three point shooting numbers for this one. Again, Kayla Martin one of seven, Struce O of ten, Duncan Robinson one of six

and no free throws and I believe they got out rebounded by just a couple. And they took... The funny thing here is because they weren't getting to the free throw line, so those field goal attempts count as field goal attempts. They took 17 more shots than the Nuggets did. But the Nuggets didn't even really light it up from three in this one,

but they took 20 free throws. But I don't really feel like this is a ref thing. I felt like it was easy for Denver, even though it was a threat there at the end in single digits. It feels like Miami may have found some things. Bam's going to have to be really, really aggressive because I think that's consistently the way they're going to

live. They're going to shoot better from three, if you're hanging on to some of the Miami stuff here, but there isn't, there doesn't really feel like there's any kind of definitive answer for Jokic. And he didn't even want to shoot the ball all that much. Again, 12 field goal attempts, total three at the half.

So Denver takes one. We'll see what happens here in game two. We're going to talk some more hoops, then talk to Kelly Slater later on in this pod. It's almost time to crown an NBA champion and FanDuel wants you to be part of the excitement because right now, new customers can get a no-sweat first bet up to $2,500. That's $2,500

back in bonus bets if your first bet doesn't win. Okay, so we got a winner on the rebounds for game one. One bet here. The odds, the value isn't there, but I just like the bet. It's minus 300 for Denver to win and Jokic with a double-double. Just straight

bet on the game. Denver's laying nine. Obviously, game one went massively over with a total at 197. They've got this, I think it was like 219.5 when it went off. It may have changed day of on the total. They've dropped the total down to 214.

So if you like this as an over series, maybe getting something going your way, just feeling like, hey, Denver kind of mailed it in and Miami was exhausted and it wasn't some lights out shooting night. There weren't a ton of free throws to slow down the possessions, all that stuff. So maybe a little underplay there as well,

but minus 300 for a Denver win and a yokish double-double, because I like your chances in both of those. FanDuel has great promotions every day on a safe and secure app that pays you instantly when you win. There's no better place to bet all the NBA Finals action than America's number one sportsbook. Visit FanDuel.com

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Required refund issued with non-withdrawable bonus bets that expire in 14 days. Restrictions apply. See full terms at Fanduel.com forward slash sportsbook. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit Fanduel.com forward slash RG. Colorado, Iowa, Michigan, New Jersey, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Illinois, Tennessee, Virginia. gambler or visit fanduel.com forward slash rg colorado iowa michigan new jersey ohio pennsylvania illinois tennessee virginia 1-800-NEXT-STEP or text next step to 53342 in arizona 1-800-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org forward slash chat in connecticut 1-800-9 with it ind in Kansas. 1-877-770-STOP in Louisiana.

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part of the group chat twice a week. We'll talk game one. What's your immediate reaction? Anything jump out? Anything surprise you? Surprise me? No, I'm not going to lie. I hate to sound like I know everything, but I felt like I didn't believe that the Heat would be able to stop Denver's offense.

I've said this many times, but it's my belief that Denver's offense is the best unit in the league, and I don't even think it's even a challenge at this point. I thought Miami, in order to win and make this competitive, they'd have to score. They're going to have to outscore Denver, take advantage of open three-pointers. I thought some of the stuff that happened in the fourth quarter and, well, the beginning of the fourth quarter when, you know, Jokic is in this extreme drop coverage and Lowry and Vincent are taking advantage on pull-ups. I'm like, that might be a thing. I think Hero coming back, as much as he has defensive shortcomings, playing him with Duncan Robinson, you know, all of that off-ball

stuff becomes harder to guard when you have another hyper elite shooter on the floor. I think that stuff will open up things. But yeah, the game one went about as predictable as possible. They looked a little gassed. A lot of people talk about the altitude stuff, but how you combat it is if you're there for a few days already, you know, your body becomes acclimated and it's not a big deal. But these guys got off of, you know, an excruciating game seven or excruciating series, I should say. Game seven was pretty easy and go right to Denver and have to play, you know, the most insane offense in the league immediately. So I don't think anything, everything went by the script, honestly.

Did you see anything differently? No, you're right about Miami, though. Like, if you're watching this and you try to think of any reason why you know because you don't want to just sit here after game one and going all right this is over because you know basketball surprises us all the time even if i felt pretty secure about a denver pick uh for a title but miami can't be that bad from three through the first three quarters again you wouldn't think between streusruis and Caleb Martin. We're all sitting here praising Caleb Martin. I think it's an insane stat. Still 135 points in the Eastern Conference Finals. Most points ever scored by an undrafted player in an NBA Finals or Conference Finals since the modern draft going back to 1967.

I mean, that's just a stupid number, and that's how good he was and carried this. There's also some other numbers that say that he, in that series against Boston, outshot their expectation by the highest number in 10 years of playoff games for any series. So maybe they were shooting a little over their heads, but there was also a confidence level. And I think Denver can get into what they want to get into so easy. As much as we know and respect the toughness of Miami,

there's probably a few moments in that first half going, dude, this is something entirely different. Because Jokic is just, everybody says cheat code all the time with all these guys, but he really is the cheat code to unlocking every single possession. I mean, that's the fascination with Denver's. You're right about their offense.

Every possession, when they have a bad possession possession it stands out because it happens so rarely yeah that's the the two-man stuff with murray was just looking it looked like a video game at points yokich just straight up not taking shots and still jeff van guy mentioned it, he's still dominating the game with corny shit like really hard screens and just hitting the open guy, right? Sometimes when he's in pick and roll with Murray, they're just so scared to get off of him at all. It leaves the guy wide open. it leaves the guy wide open and if they send any help whatsoever when it's kcp or michael porter jr spacing on that you can't send a third defender to help on that two-man action right you just got to kind of pray that your two guys can somehow get around your the guy getting screened can somehow get around a dude as wide as a freaking mountain in time to contest a dude who's

an elite mid-range shooter elite three-point shooter elite off the dribble with those shots and then it just becomes impossible and then the thing that shocked me too in the first half is when they went to the to the zone while Jokic was on the bench which is like all right this makes sense Jeff Green is getting little easy jump hooks, and they just kind of shredded the zone in the first half in a way that kind of surprised me. In the non-Jokic minutes, which if you paid attention to Denver at all this year, which I did because, you know, pat myself on the back,

I picked them to go to the championship since July. Since they signed KCP and Bruce Brown, I thought these guys were going to go to the championship since July. Since they signed KCP and Bruce Brown, I thought these guys were going to go to the championship. So I've been watching them closely all year. And it's just like, yeah, once they decide they're going to run their stuff or Jokic is like, you know, whether they double, triple, whatever, I want to score when I have to. Yeah, they just can't be stopped.

And this was Denver in peak form offensively tonight. I want to score when I have to. Yeah, they just can't be stopped. And this was just, this was Denver in peak form offensively tonight. Yeah, something about the altitude because I feel like it can be overblown, but I also don't think it's nothing. Nobody wants to hear about our experiences not playing in NBA games, visiting Colorado, even though, you know, like I would agree, like after a few days, you should be good to go.

Denver's fine, though. You know, the other rest versus rust thing. Like I'll just, you know, if a team comes out after a long gap, I think, what was it, nine days for Denver? You're thinking about it and going, well, if they lose, everybody's going to blame that. But in reality, I'd much rather be them.

It's not even just about being home where they're dominant. It's the Miami having to go through the seven games. I don't know if they had swept, if it feels a little bit different. But I think Spolstra early on going with Zeller, Highsmith, Lowry, and Duncan Robinson, which, by the way, no Kevin Love at all. He was getting four guys in there with under 14 minutes to go into the game where I was like, okay, maybe he's doing that, hoping to pace his guys later on.

I don't know. Butler's not going to make any excuses, but the stuff that happened against Milwaukee is real. The stuff that happened against Boston is real. Again, what he did in some of those Milwaukee games is all-time stuff, but it's the first round, so it's not going to hold up historically. But I can't help but feel like there are these little reminders where you go,

oh, wait, yeah, this is why we don't ever put him in the top five or top six because I don't know if it's the defense. I'd have to look at it again. I don't know if it's the altitude. I don't know if it's a seven-game series. But you're going to need him to carry you more because even as great as Bam was, and he was awesome, but it was also a lot of really good looks for him.

I don't know if Bam can be your number one option to be winning NBA finals games, despite how great he was. Yeah. And especially if it's what he's, his attack mode option is a bunch of 14 footers, right? If he's going into Jokic's chest and challenging him at the cup and daring the refs to put some fouls on this dude, that's one thing. But I'm sorry, he went 13 for 25. He had 26 points. There's a reason he didn't get to the free throw line, and that's because he was taking jump shots.

I'm not saying he can't make those shots, but if he's actually going to make a difference with his attacking, he's got to go all the way to the basket, draw contact on Jokic, right? And I think Jimmy, Aaron Gordon is not a good matchup for him because he's one of the few guys who moves his feet fast enough to stay in front reasonably well and is stronger than jimmy it's not even that he's just as strong he's stronger he's not going to be pushed back by jimmy butler when he gets to the paint because that's what you know a lot of the guys on boston especially early on in the series like derrick white at the end of the series he's blocking jimmy at the basket right because i think jimmy just like, no lift by the end of the series. But in the beginning, Jimmy's like, I'm just going to overpower this guy. I'm just going to get within six feet of the basket, create space with my body,

and then I'm going to make a nice little, you know, jump hook from over there. He can't do that against Aaron Gordon. But what I think he needs to do, he needs to put Jokic in the pick and roll, and he needs to put fouls on him. To me, that's what your superstar has to do. And honestly, it's funny. People don't realize this, but the last time we saw Denver lose in the playoffs with all their guys was against the Lakers in the bubble. And why they lost is that LeBron and AD were challenging these guys in the paint. Yes, AD made an uncharacteristic amount of three-point shots as jumper was going,

but LeBron and AD were relentless attacking this guy in the paint on pick and roll. That's why they won that series on offense. And so if Miami's going to get this thing going, Bam can't be settling for free throw line jump shots he's got to try to get to the cup and getting yokich in foul trouble having the freedom and opportunity to play against these bench units is how miami's gonna sort of level the playing field here as well as you know getting their three-point shooting up to the level that it was against boston i always did wonder about Jokic winning four series as kind of your anchor defensively. And I think it was a fair question to even ask because there's that Lakers series,

there's the Suns in four series where they worked him. And then Golden State last year, Denver didn't have anybody really around the guy. They were pretty banged up. So it's not entirely fair, but that seemed to be something they were doing where I wonder if the adjustment here from Denver is that we're just not going to let him get far enough out. Like, I think he showed a few times, but for the most part, he was dropping all night. And that's why Bam was getting into those really easy 15, 17 footers.

But the plan may be, okay, again, to your point, keep shooting them. You're not going to get us into foul trouble. You're not going to get us into the bonus. None of the perimeter guys are making any shots too. So it makes it even easier to kind of stay home with what you want to do against Bam. But for the most part, Jokic is not getting further away from the basket, having to get stuck in situations where he's getting switched on to a smaller guy. So here's my thing about that, which is a conversation I feel like we have all the time So here's my thing about that, which is a conversation I feel like we have all the time as an NBA sort of viewing public. This idea of can you win with Superstar X?

I'm sorry. Like, if a guy is this unstoppable at offense and you don't know how to put a team around him that wins, you're just not good at your job. Right. wins you're just not good at your job right like you could say something like that about steph who like as a small guard he's a little guy there's ways that he can be exploited on defense but guess what when clay thompson was right elite defender adre igudala draymond green you get guys who supplement what he does or what he's what he doesn't do they can fill in those gaps that's what denver has done done like aaron gordon is an elite defensive player kcp is an elite guard sorry i'm in new york i know it's loud as hell out there but kcp is elite at what he does on defense he can't guard

a kawaii leonard type pa Paul George. They're too big. But these little jitterbug guys, KCP is elite at that, navigating screens, staying in front. He's elite at that. And then they get Bruce Brown, who again, a perfect complement to the superstar. He's incredible off the ball. You saw him just splashing spot ups tonight. He's not one of these guys where you could try to treat him like he's Tony Allen or something out there. And he fits around what Jokic does. Like, that's why when they signed these guys in the summer, it was like, how could you get rid of Monte Morris?

He was so big in that series against God. I'm like, what are you guys talking about? This guy is a backup point guard, okay? And he's tiny. He doesn't guard people.cp is going to come in and fill an actual need that they have and he's going to shoot it so yeah i think the pieces fit so complimentary that you know it masks a lot of his weaknesses i was looking for what jimmy was going to do because you brought the derrick white thing i don't know if it was jimmy getting tired

at the end of the series against boston i also think you're going to give White a little bit more credit in not saying that you're not, but it was clear like he became a little bit more comfortable, you know, maybe allowing him to get more of the drive and defending the attempt as opposed to trying to cut off the drive where he just didn't have the size for it. Again, I could be talking on my ass a little, but it just felt like he was better against Jimmy in some of those switches because he was hunting him so bad in the beginning that it was like, oh my God. But they were also leaving White out there on an island. They did it against Grant Williams. In this game, I was looking for, it looks like the preferred hunting target is Michael Porter Jr. for Jimmy. But I have to go

look and see how many times he actually ended up against him, but it never felt like, oh no, here's the thing that he's doing. Now now it could very well happen in game two but that'll be the thing i'm looking for in game two does he hunt for him do they try to overload the opposite side do they try to get him a little bit more space because the size part of this is what always scares me um well a lot of things are scary about miami and i've been wrong for three state series but going into this one for all of the reasons i like Denver I'm like dude when Gordon and Porter Jr. are around the rim that's just a way different size challenge than what they had to face certainly against the Knicks they handled it against Milwaukee Giannis missing half that series and then Boston basically became a one big lineup for most of that series. Yeah, I tend to not think that Porter Jr. is the hunt option when it comes to Jimmy's attacks.

Right. Because even if Jimmy's going to create a little bit of space with his strength, sort of give him that, you know, he loves to give that forearm shiver to the dude's chest, never gets called for offensive foul somehow. to the dude's chest, never gets called for offensive foul somehow. I think the way you would prefer to attack Porter Jr. is with Duncan Robinson and the movement shooting stuff with Robinson and Struess because Porter Jr. has gotten better at his effort, but he's not good at navigating screens. And Bam is an incredible screener. I think that's where they're going to sort of make some hay going forward

is some of that Golden State stuff where Porter Jr. and even Bruce Brown and some of these other guys, when Jokic stays in the drop, right, doing the – that to me is the greatest innovation of Draymond's game these past few years is when teams are just like, oh, OK, Draymond is afraid to shoot. We're just going to leave him completely wide open and have the guy guarding him just roam the rim. And Draymond's like, oh, yeah, guess what I'm going to do? I'm going to set punishing screens for two of the greatest shooters in NBA history while you're chilling in the paint.

So the guy that's guarding my boy is going to be basically on the floor while he's taking a wide open shot. And I think Miami, that's where they got to try to exploit Jokic and Porter Jr. is with some of that screening stuff, that off ball stuff and Jamal Murray as well. It's not like this guy's, you know, John Stockton or Gary Payton or something on defense. Like they got to put him in a bunch of those actions, too. into something on defense. They got to put him in a bunch of those actions too. Yeah.

Murray might be somebody, but it just felt like they had – it just never really felt like a threat, especially when Miami's missing that many shots. If Strews is hitting three of them, and Caleb Martin is even close to showing, hell, we would have taken the nine-point-a-game regular season Caleb Martin tonight. And you wonder if it's a little different. But then when Miami outscored them 30-20 in the fourth quarter,

it felt like we've got them more than, uh-oh, they're making a threat. So if Miami had made more threes early on, do we still end up having the same final score? But it just felt like the game was still yet to be decided. You know know it really as i was watching it i'm going holy shit like are you serious with the score right now i'm like i guess this could pretend put it again you just get it back to yokich you just get it back to you hey make the right read make the right look and then on top of that if you don't see anything else

hit a 10-foot jumper and he he saves you he saves you you every time. And the other part, too, like helping off, I think they were doing some stuff where they were maybe having Butler try to cheat off of somebody and get near Jokic on the catch when they were playing man. Because, again, they didn't play any zone possessions, I don't believe, against Jokic in the entire first half. But when it's KCP, when it's Porter, and then Gordon is sealing at the rim,

and Jokic is playing up off of that, and then Murray's doing whatever he's doing, there's not really any option to cheat off of, especially when Gordon has a mismatch that close to the rim. So it's hard to get away with saying, okay, we're always leaving him. It's okay if he takes the shot. Denver, with their lineups, even when Brown comes in, it's not really a recipe for success.

Yeah, Bruce Brown made that three-pointer at the end of the third to put them up um i think it was like 19 points and i'm like okay this is this is unfair unstoppable unmatchable like what in the hell like he completely swished that shot uh i don't, like the zone, they ended up getting a couple of stops. But if you go back, if you want to go back and look at those possessions, especially early on,

Jamal Murray missed a wide open 12 footer. Jokic missed basically an uncontested 10 footer. Michael Porter Jr. missed a lightly contested corner three. These are not shots you want to concede to any offense. Even Denver, who's elite, you got to say to yourself, all right, we got to be giving up something harder than a wide-open Jamal Murray inside the free-throw line jump shot. I just don't think that's going to be an answer for them. I don't think Bam one-on-one he's going to get into foul trouble. He's going to get abused if that's the case. They got to keep sort of trying to time their doubles in a way that's unexpected coming from angles that Jokic doesn't see and they got to just live with the results. Yeah it worked so well tonight and you

don't expect him to change. But you just brought up something I think is at least worth mentioning again and kind of put in the memory bank to see if it ends up being something they do. If they wanted to get Jokic deeper on a catch, because he's just that strong, which I think we can sometimes forget, because as much as we all love Bam, you can see mass versus mass. Jokic is going to win. He's going to gain the ground that he needs to get.

If they said, hey, you know what? Let's try to get Bam in a foul trouble. Like, Jokic, take more shots. Do more post moves. Like, do that. Like, that's another element of their offense that they didn't even bother with tonight that I think they could go to if they felt like the other guys were missing shots or getting stagnant.

Yeah, there was no aggression on yokich's part right uh he shot eight for 12 although he did take 12 free throws so that's basically about 18 shooting possessions right there that's not like in an nba finals that's what you want this guy like if he if it's just 18 shooting possessions that means he's dishing it off to the open guy every single time so again 14 assists only 12 attempts 10 of 12 from the free throw line two turnovers that's another problem when miami's down 10 and you know it's about nine minutes to go in the fourth or whatever it was, even less than that. I'm like, to come back, of course you have to score, but it has to be turnovers. That's how these big comebacks happen.

Like, you have to make it so that this team can't even get an attempt up. That's how, you know, you get the turnover, live ball, you score really quickly. That's how these comebacks happen. Denver's not going to turn the ball over when they're running offense through Jokic. So if they're up 12 in the fourth, you're toast. It's not going to happen for you. You know, you got to stay in contact, man. You got to stay in contact. You got to hope you could put some fouls on Jokic. You got to keep them second guessing on their pick and roll coverage,

which Miami was able to do, where they had Jokic and Malone being like, damn, should we drop? Should we show? Should we meet them at the level? Should we do, you know, sort of put two on the ball? Like, you got to keep them on their toes with that, or else Miami specifically, like, y'all, it's not going to happen for these guys.

My favorite pass of the game, I made it 52-37, I believe, was Jokic's ninth assist. And to kind of add another layer to this is Murray has the ball, Aaron Gordon's deep, and Jokic already knows where he's going with the basketball before he has it. Think about it. He knew the pass he was making, and it wasn't just, hey, swing it to the corner, or, oh, the help came in off the weak side,

so the ball needs to end up over there if it's the right shooter. Some of the stuff that's actually pretty easy and pretty predictable reads. This was a V-pass pattern where it came from the right block extended to Jokic at the free throw line to right back into the restricted area and the pass already happened then he had the jeff green cut on the baseline where it's not that was crazy right and the great thing about that pass is that he actually like changed his arm angle like a quarterback trying to get the ball through the line of scrimmage with guys reaching up defensive linemen he just he's 6'10 and most you know i just it's funny because get ready for the draft you start to appreciate nba players so much

because you see certain drives watching much madness right like prepping for the draft i'm like oh my god like the nba guys are awesome because there's so many times like i was watching one player i go this guy just did three things in the last five minutes that I won't see an NBA player do all season long. Like, this is crazy. But then for Jokic, who can get away with probably throwing over the top of anybody, will actually still change the pass angle despite his size advantage if he thinks it's a better catch.

And that plays behind him. He turns. He kind of knows. I think he knows, like, all right, is Jeff Green going to cut? All right, Green's smart enough to know to cut weak side on this whole deal. But it's just, I'm happy.

I'm happy for Jokic. I'm, you know, depending on how this goes, I've said it from, you know, the Western Conference playoffs thing is that when you're this good, I want you to have a ring

so people can shut the fuck up about you. Yeah, I'm happy too because the reason why i thought denver was going to be incredible this year was watching them get their asses kicked up and down the court by golden state last year and i'm watching this game because i'm like first of all why in the hell would this series be going five games? And second of all, like, you know, who the hell is playing for Denver, right? Like this is, this is kind of a joke. Then I watched the games and Draymond Green, Kevon Looney, these are guys who are excellent one-on-one post defenders. Nobody scores against these dudes with just post touches, right? Like, they're part of the reason.

They're the kind of guys who are part of the reason why everybody says, oh, post-ups are, you know, this inefficient, stupid play. I'm watching them. They can't guard Jokic one-on-one. So eventually they're just throwing double and triple teams at him the whole game. And he's throwing it to a guy who's making Neapolitan pizzas now somewhere in Italy. And I'm like, yo, Golden State just paid Jokic the ultimate deference. That felt specific.

That felt specific about the pizza, but we'll keep it moving. Oh, Compazzo, he's not a pizzaiola. Am I making that up? No, I'm just saying like, man, why is he getting real specific about this? I couldn't stand watching him play. I thought he was one of the 30s guys in the league, so I know.

And he couldn't make a wide open shot to save his life. Yeah, if you're going to be that guy and miss, just make sure you have a return flight. Yeah. Yeah, it's Austin Reeves. It's, it's, it's not Austin Reeves, excuse me. Austin Rivers.

It's Monty Morris. It's Compazzo. It's Golden State's like, yeah, go ahead. Do what you, do what y'all want. This dude, we're putting three guys on. And then it's like okay the young guys are coming back after injuries they make these incredible signings you know obviously they still got Aaron Gordon who they already had I'm like damn this team is

gonna be incredible but literally watching them get beat up by Golden State but Golden State showing this guy so much respect I was like man Jokic is of a different caliber of player than people really understand and it's in because I have that much respect for Golden State and specifically what they're able to do on defense or used to be anyway um that just showed me like this guy he's just a different level fourth quarter again Miami outscored him 30 to 20 uh at one point the three-point shooting I think through three quarters 6 to 24 for Miami they hit 7 to 15 in the fourth it's either Miami was due or Denver wasn't that interested uh Miami's in some trouble that's not a shock but

you'd imagine Butler's gonna have a better game maybe they're more aware defensively Spolster's capable as anyone of figuring maybe some adjustment out there they think gives them a better chance. But it's going to be a tough one. It's going to be really tough. You start banking on that. If they lose the first two, you go, hey, look at their road record.

But then again, road record and the stuff, some of the slight concerns you maybe had about Denver, the defensive numbers, when it all ended, it hasn't mattered at all. And the defensive numbers, you're starting to feel like, hey, they can be average because they're still this good on offense in the playoffs. So you're the man. like, hey, they can be average because they're still this good on offense in the playoffs. So you're the man.

Thanks for staying up late and doing this for us. What do you need to tell the kids about what you have coming up? I know you got Fitz and the group chat. Oh, yeah. We're about to be done after the finals. We're done. But check that every single Friday on the ringers YouTube page. We talk about sneaker news and we talk about what these guys are wearing in the tunnel. We try to have

a little bit of fun with it. And of course, the Ringer NBA show, I'm doing group chat twice a week on the weekends. We alternate between Sunday and Saturday, depending on when the game is, and every single Wednesday with the homies Justin Verrier and Rob Mahoney.

Alright. Good stuff, man. Later, y'all. He's an 11-time world champ. He's arguably, and I think most would agree, the greatest surfer ever. Kelly Slater joins us on the podcast. Thanks a lot for doing this.

Really appreciate it. How are you? I'm good. Thanks for the intro. I'm good. Just a little bit of downtime. Got about a week off and then get back on the road. What'm good. Just a little bit of downtime. Got about a week off and then get back

on the road. What's your schedule like now at this stage of your career? Pretty busy. People ask me where I live. I just tell them I'm seasonal in four different places and then the rest is on a plane somewhere. So I'm sort of pretty evenly split between Florida, Hawaii, California, and Australia. I was watching the first episode of season two, Make or Break on Apple, and it's your win at Pipeline last year. And it's really well shot. I really enjoyed it. I've watched a bunch of the different movies about you and everything. But what was that moment Pipeline like for you at this stage of your career to pull that off after,

after a bit of a run where people were wondering where your future was? Yeah, it was an incredible feeling. I don't think you could ever, I don't know if you could ever feel that without spending your life doing something and totally applying yourself for your whole life since you were a little kid. And then having a moment like that, it's really hard to put into words. But on top of, I hadn't won since over five years before that.

And I had a potentially career-ending injury at the time, the broken foot. It was, I basically broke my whole foot backwards, all five metatarsals. Kind of, if you can picture putting another joint in the middle of your foot and bending your foot backwards, that's really what happened to me. So I struggled with that for a couple of years where I couldn't compete and it was just trying to get back into it. And then we had COVID. And so, you know, there were a few different things that

happened and then covet i think 2020 our tour started back up i don't think we had what was it 20 one of the years we didn't have so that we didn't have 2020 and then 20 uh 21 we started back up and i got injured right before we went to Australia so I wasn't able to compete in that part of the tour and um so yeah I just just I've been pretty lucky throughout my whole career not being injured very much and then had a run of a couple different injuries that kept me out for a while and and then uh to get back in there and get myself in that position to win. And then also, you know, believe it, it becomes a little bit of a head game, mind game to get over that,

that hump. And then, um, yeah, I don't know to, to win. That was just, I can't explain how amazing it was because that's the,

that's the location, you know, pipeline as a kid, I wanted to, it was my dream to be able to surf there and figure it out, but I was terrified of it, so I didn't know if I ever would. I think I've won there more than any other location on tour, but hadn't won that event in eight years. and I was six days from turning 50 years old. I mean, there's just a lifetime of things built up to that moment. And I think unless you have something like that happen in your life,

you can't express to people how it actually feels. So I have things in life that I'm jealous of, but jealous in like a good way because I'm in awe of it. And the big wave stuff that you guys do, I'm in awe of the ability to do it. I'm in awe of the balls. And I know in your book, because you were in Florida in your first visit out there, I know what I read in the book, but can you help us understand what that's like to break maybe the mental block of like, okay, I'm actually going to go out here and do this. Yeah. For me, it wasn't like all of a sudden one day it was a, it's a gradual progression over years and years. And my goal was to essentially ride waves that were about a foot or

two bigger every year, you know, from the time I was like 12 years old. So I just, each year I wanted to ride something bigger and bigger and get more comfortable. And I think by the time I was like 12 years old. So I just each year I wanted to ride something bigger and bigger and get more comfortable And I think by the time I was about 18 But I started to feel comfortable in most situations Started to compete at 19 and in big waves and And that year was particularly huge actually for the first contest we had was that Holly Eva and it was the swell was essentially far too big for it it was a day where you typically surf yma which is one of our big wave spots and yma had what we call 20 foot waves and that's when you have like real legit size

for for that that wave and when it's that big, almost nobody ever surfs Haleuva. You just basically get smashed. And we had a contest on. That was my first contest surfing in the Triple Crown as a young pro. So it was pretty intimidating, but I got to surf three different heats on the big day, and I handled it. Situations like that just give you more and more confidence. Because even in the 22

pipeline, I think there was, I mean, not that at this point you'd ever be, well, maybe I shouldn't ask it that way because I imagine there's still moments where you're uncomfortable, I doubt, in fear. But there was I think one of the heats, it came in so steep that it almost looked like you were going to lose it just dropping in. You were almost

off the face of the wave uh what are those feelings like when you well when you haven't surfed pipeline for most of the year we get there in december or whatever and you haven't surfed it since say february look i've surfed it for almost 40 years now so it just takes a session or two to kind of work out your comfort level and then if you have the experience it's not really it's not really like there's a healthy amount of fear you're dealing with but it's not like life or it doesn't feel like life or death it's a i don't know how to explain it because it we know it's life or death because we've had friends die there.

But it feels like just this challenge. And you know you have the ability to ride something that you've never ridden before. You put yourself in a situation you've never had before. Experience a new thrill. And that event, the waves were, they were good. It wasn't giant pipeline. It was just comfortably big and really perfect. And so you could really push your levels.

It's the best thing in the world as a surfer, I think, to have waves like that and to have it in a contest when no one else is challenging you except for the one other person. You're not challenged by a crowd of 50 or 70 people trying to position and get in the right spot that's a whole different ball game on the free surf when you're just practicing you're dealing with the whole world out there and um that becomes a little bit that has a whole other level of danger and the unknown having that many people in the way or you don't want to drop in in front of somebody you don't want you don't want somebody to drop in front of you or get in your way while you're in the barrel or all those things but it's all it all happens in about five seconds

you know it's about a five to eight second ride and and that's the thrill of pipeline trying to you know look at your career and and understand you know i think moniz they had said what you had competed against his father i don't know if i actually ever surfed against tony but i did surf against that era of guys and and tony's good friend of mine but yeah now i'm surfing against his kids but uh he was he was still competing at the tail end, his tail end of competing when I was just starting. I've surfed against a couple of other guys'

dads. I think I've surfed against Felipe Toledo's dad, Miguel Pupo's dad, and there's been a few guys. Shane Basham was a rival of mine, and his son's right there on the cusp of making the tour. And, and, uh, his dad's, he and I had the same age. When I look at like a Tom Brady,

you know, going, all right, I'm done. And it's like, no, I'm not done. You know, cause there's never going to be anything that replaces that. And I even think about like LeBron, like, what's he going to be like just as a regular guy, even though he's never going to be a regular guy because it's LeBron James. The crowd part of it, like, yeah, there's a crowd and you're competing and you're still going, but is it about missing competition, fearing that? Because I know you've already taken time away from the sport. It can't feel like the crowd and the adulation the same way that we have in some of the more traditional team sports. What is it about you that still drives you to go, I want to get out there and compete against these other guys at an age that no one's ever seen before? I'm not sure.

I think it's just my one chance in life to do it and to see how I fare. I'm not doing as well as I have in the past, obviously. The levels have increased quickly. People take it much more seriously. Guys are very prepared. The level of surfing is constantly being pushed. The equipment's better. I mean, you can go on and on for days about how much more difficult it gets as you age.

how much more difficult it gets as you age. I think the most rewarding part of it is if I do win an event, obviously that's, that's great. But the most rewarding part of it personally is just hearing other people my age say, man, you got me motivated to get back up and do this. And I don't feel like my life's basically over in that way anymore.

And, and you know, if it provides that for people that, that that's worth it for me, but at the end of the day, I'm going to do this until I'm done. And I'm, I'm, and I'm just completely burnt out. And, um, and you know, that's for me. Well, I'm glad you said that because I feel like we get really the, the consumer, right? The audience, um, we can get really selfish because we don't want anything to change the way we feel about the great ones. And I've always felt like, you know, again, all the years I worked at ESPN,

we'd always be coming across like, is this guy going to retire? Is he not? And I think like, why are we in a rush to force them to stop doing the thing that they love? And one of the edits that they had in the first episode, it actually kind of pissed me off a little bit because one of the the voiceovers was like i just don't want to see kelly at the end not making the cut or not winning and all this different shit and it's like well how does that's your fault that that would impact what this dude has done for decades like what why why would you why would you want him to do something he doesn't want to do so you feel

better about the way you remember him i think it's a really funny well it isn't funny it becomes this incredibly selfish thing especially when somebody's pushing the boundaries of what we think is possible there's a lot of ego involved in those debates you know people don't ruin your legacy by going too far i mean look if if brady had uh quit winning his Super Bowl, there's this unknown. You know, how much further can you go? And then he lost just before the Super Bowl his last year. And then do people still not think that he is as capable as any other quarterback out there? You know,

just experience and skill level and some of the comebacks he's had. And I think that's what makes people push their expectations of themselves even further. So when the next generation is coming up, they see what someone else did and they saw how far someone could go. And, and I don't know know it's a funny one i i understand that i i do understand that headspace i understand you know there's there's there's definitely a part of me that said i wish i had just stopped after the pipe win right then and

and that's the ego i'm number one in the world i just won pipeline i'm going out on top and um you know but i love doing this. I love surfing. I still love competing to some degree. Not as much as I did when I was a kid. But who's to say what can be done? And it gives me, personally, it gives me motivation to keep my body in good shape and keep myself on a high level surf wise. I don't necessarily think that'll stop if I get off tour. Um,

I sometimes feel like a little bit of a fly on the wall kind of watching this, the evolution of surfing. And, uh, I recently had a couple of moments where I felt like, okay, I can really get myself back in here and like get my body straight. So I feel really good. I'm actually, um, I've done pretty well with injuries and stuff, but, felt like okay i can really get myself back in here and like get my body straight so i feel really good i'm actually um i've done pretty well with injuries and stuff but um i carry i'm i'm carrying lots of injuries my back hurts me every single day um my foot's a major issue like i'm in a lot of pain is what i'm getting at and um i actually just i just this morning i

finished it a two and a half day water fast kind of just letting my body heal and relax and and reset before i go to el salvador next week um but yeah i feel like sometimes i'm sitting back watching this thing and and seeing okay where are the my weak points? Where are other people's weak points? And where can I jump back in the saddle here and really get myself on a roll? And I know it's possible, but you have to have that motivation. You have to have the motivation to completely dive in. And that's been a struggle. That's what's really been the biggest struggle for me the last five years or so. Well, I really quickly want to thank you for still doing the pod today after a water fast,

because, you know, that's fine. I just broke it. I had an apple. It was very amazing. And then I made a little smoothie for myself and had some green juice. My father told me back in his hippie days, he did a fast once. And the first thing he ate after like, I don't know, four or five days was a head of iceberg lettuce. He said it's the best thing that it's best.

Seriously, he says of anything he's ever eaten his entire life, he goes, the first bite of that iceberg lettuce was the greatest tasting thing he's ever had in his life. Just because he hadn't eaten for a week. Yeah, I did. The first time I ever did a water fast, I did six days. And the first thing I ate was a date. And it was the most incredible piece of fruit I've ever tasted. But it makes sense.

I mean, hell, I can understand it, although I don't know that I want to put myself in a position to understand it. When I watched HBO Momentum Generation from a few years ago, it was incredible getting to know all you guys through that lens. And it felt very specific that, I know what the teasers were and the trailers, the selling point was that Kelly was the guy among us that took it to another level of focus on the competitive stuff. the competitive stuff. Uh, how, how accurate is that? Are you wired maybe just a little bit different than everybody you were competing with during your prime? And as you continue to serve? Um, yeah, I guess I am. I, I just came from a particular situation and everyone comes out of their families and their young lives differently. And I was very hardwired for competition. I had an older brother who I had to keep up with and who kind of beat me up. Not really physically, he just kept me in my place, you know. And so I always kind of had to keep up with the older, faster kids.

And as I became a teenager, I had a best friend who was the most competitive person I've ever known still to this day. And we kind of laugh about it because we competed everything from bowling to pinball to air hockey, table tennis. Just everything. I mean, literally on my birthday, every year we would go and have a competition and play every video game, drive go-karts, play basketball, go bowling, play pool. We'd do every sport and game we could think of in a day and total it up to see who was better. And it just really hardwired me for winning. And I also, my parents didn't have any money. And I didn't want to be broke.

You know, I wanted to, I didn't want to be broke. I didn't want to struggle, so I made a plan early on. I wanted to make money and have a comfortable life in that sense and not have that kind of stress. So I had multiple different things going on. When I got on tour, somebody who was 30 years old was ancient in my sport literally i thought i had a 10-year career ahead of me when i turned pro at 19 or 18 and um and then as surfing has grown and as i've been able to like really focus keep myself relatively healthy and keep my my surfing at a good level I I

saw longevity as a big thing in my health and diet and all that came into play and To me. It's all a learning process. It's all It's all gaining experience and wisdom about your body and in the world around you and how you fit in and you know everyone here is trying to Deal everyone has their own battle. They're going through in life things. They're trying to accomplish and here is trying to deal everyone has their own battle they're going through in life things they're trying to accomplish and things are trying to heal and um i don't know i think it brings me back to your thing before about people talking about their sporting legacy

and stuff it's it's uh you know you you can't expect to just go here and step off. And it might be a little bit of a stock graph, a stock ticker. And you're going to have highs and lows and you're going to have moments that peak. You said something, because we're about the same age, but you said something that made me think about it. I don't know if you felt this way, but when I was younger, when I was 20, I'd be like, oh, when I'm 30, I'm going know if you felt this way, but, you know,

when I was younger, when I was 20, I'd be like, oh, when I'm 30, I'm going to be like this. And they're like, okay, that was off. And then I was like, when I'm 40, I'm going to be like this. And everything's going to be like easy. When you were 20, how old was somebody who was 30? Dude, when we were in college, we thought 22 year olds were a hundred, you know, like when you were 18, like I always think that college gap from freshman to senior is like two decades so no when you're a freshman seniors are literally like old people right right and so the trick and they abused you and they abused you and you know and now those same guys who are abusing me are like man man, we're the same age. Yeah, it's cool. You're getting it. I'm like, no, we're not the same age.

You were like way older than me. I have a guy who I still be at 51 and 54 or 55. You feel the same age, I guess, to some degree. Well, a lot of times those guys will want to do that because it's like them rounding down a little bit. Like when my buddy was turning 38, he, he, he would say he was almost 30 because he felt like technically, right. He was like, technically I'm just going in the opposite direction. Guys are emotionally younger. You know, we don't, we don't grow up. We hold it off as long as we can. The reason I think, I don't know if it's specific to me or some agreement that we

have on it is it's kind of like life can is it's just you don't know any better because you haven't lived long enough right so you start mapping out how you think you're going to feel in the moment but you can't possibly ever map it out and i think the big joke is that you think you get to this place of like eternal peace it was like oh yeah by 50 everything's just going to be easy and sailing and it's like no that's the whole point of life is that the challenges are just different and it's about you you kind of adapting to how well you process all this stuff. So if somebody told you when you were a teenager in your 20s, like, hey, you're going to be 50, you're still going to be competing, you're going to win pipeline in 2022. It's like, man,

everything must have worked out and been awesome. But at the same time, no one has that life. No one really has that life where the path is just, yeah, everything worked out. I mapped it all out. It's gone even better than I thought. And now I haven't had any issues. And I think that's the big joke that this whole thing plays on us. I got real philosophical with you there, but I'm sure. Yeah. Well, I won my first pipeline at 92. And I won my last one in 22, 30 years apart. And I actually talked about in 19 in 2019 we were looking at some results we're filming this this thing and and i said um something something along the lines of like it'd be so cool to win 30 years later and i said yeah good luck that means even to myself you know but

then when i got in the moment i was like shit this is happening this is i could feel i could feel the momentum was really on my side all the energy was there and i felt that i felt that that thing again and um you know so it's it's there you can you can get into the flow and in surfing you can pick the right waves you can you can uh you can surf a heat the right way and you can put another person in a situation where they're in the hole and the stress is on them even if they're the number one guy um because you you read the ocean right so there's a there's a whole other technique and thing that goes into it that it's it's not just

only your skill level and your experience it's it's the way you surf a heat and the way you compete and the way you pace it it it'd be like a round in boxing. You get ahead on the points and you stay there and you win that round. That's how heat can be. What were the heats like? You stepped away. Andy Irons wins three titles. I was there.

I was competing when he won three titles. Right, but I guess I was told that if you can get the best Andy Irons stories out of him, make sure. I didn't want to open with that, but that felt like the real, staying on the boxing analogy, the Ali Frazier stuff

with you two in the early 2000s. What's the best? I got back on tour in 2002 and Andy won his first world title that year. My dad passed away. I was, I knew that my level was still fine. I wasn't going to have a problem getting back in there. But it seemed, it didn't make a whole lot of, it wasn't very important to me

after my dad passed away early in the year. So I wasn't very important to me after my dad passed away early in the year. So I wasn't really too worried about competition and my results and all that stuff. I mean, I was surfing the tour full time, but I was kind of depressed and it was a tough period of time for me. And then the next year I got really motivated because I figured part of me was kind of living my dad's dream. Not that his dream wasn't to be a pro surfer and that kind of thing, but he was happy for me and he loved to surf. I thought, man, this is cool. I get to go around the world and do this and get paid for it, make a career.

It's something my dad's really proud of me for, my mom's really proud of me for. It gave me a lot of energy. Then Andy and I came down to the final event of me for and it gave me a lot of energy and then andy and i came down to the final event of the year and he beat me in literally in the last couple waves of the year and um it was painful and then the next year i didn't 2004 i didn't really even apply myself because i was still just in shock from that and then in 2005 i really kind of caught fire again and started surfing really well and winning a lot of contests and and then that 2005 i really kind of caught fire again and started surfing really well and winning a lot of contests and and then that was the end of the story uh for me getting back and

winning world titles i um the start again of winning world titles i came back and won five more from that point on um and andy and i we had a funny thing because i know andy andy you know he used to say he watched all my movies as a kid he looked up to me but then he wanted to take me out and he made no qualms about it he wanted to kick my ass and and um he was not intimidated by me at all at least that he showed up outwardly and um he let me know that he was going to kick my ass. And then we had this thing where at one point we kind of became friends. In 2008, we really kind of squashed things and became friends. He was going through sobriety, and he was struggling to find the importance in competing and have it make as much sense as he did to himself.

He had a newfound love of life, but he felt like surfing competitions. I remember being in the water with him one time in Huntington Beach, and we were surfing in an exhibition thing. He looked back over the beach. He's like, man, I don't even know what I'm doing out here. I don't even know why I'm here. I didn't, what are we doing? This is stupid. And he just didn't have, it didn't have the same meaning to him. And then he did win an event, I think in 2010, a few months before he passed away, he did win an event and he beat me in that contest in the semifinal to make the final and then win. And it just seemed like we were such a part of each other's story competitively.

I wouldn't say so in private life very much. We were friendly and we hated each other and all these kinds of things. There was that rivalry thing that you have. But in a competitive sense, we were revolving around each other at the same time. And he really drove me to bring the best out of me. And I like to think the same for him. This is a tough segue, so I'm just going to do it. I think I'm allowed to ask this question.

But I remember the first time I noticed I was losing my hair and I was starting my TV career. And I was like, are you fucking serious? Like, I'm going to lose my hair. I was like, and I want to be on TV. And then I,

you know, I saw, man, counterpoint. Were you, did you have a moment where you're like, Hey, like I was mad for you. I was like like this can't happen to kelly slater man um what was that what was that like for you it's hard to lose your hair publicly dude it's like people know who you are and then you start losing your hair like people

start making fun of me guys are saying comments and it was heavy. It's such a, I guess it's a part of your youth, and it's a part of you identify. You know, you connect so much with your looks through your hair. And it was painful because, you know, I was going through a breakup, a real public breakup at the time. And it caused me to actually lose my hair more because I was so stressed and sad. And it was, and, and then each time I would feel that I wouldn't, I would see hair literally falling out of my pillow and I was tripping out. This is insane. Like I was, I was wishing maybe I just had some disease that was making it happen or something. But it was just my genes, I guess.

My hair stopped growing. It had fallen out. And it was actually much more comfortable once it did. When you start kind of losing it and it looks a little thin is the hard part. When it's gone, I don't care. I'm actually super happy being bald i love it i don't have to worry about it i just i shave my head every other day and it feels really good and and um i i actually think it's my look you know what i mean like more than when i had hair so i'm

like i'm totally i think it's funny but i've had people talk to me privately that are losing their hair and i feel bad for them because they haven't processed it yet. And it's a tough little journey, you know, but it's part of life. It's tough, man. I do not wish it on anyone when you're younger and especially for you on top of everything else. But you're right. It works for you. It works.

And it is. But see, what I don't like is the guys that have already lost their hair rooting for other people to lose their hair. I don't like those people. And I've, I ran into a lot of people like that. I want to tell you though, I've rooted for a couple of people to lose their hair because there were such assholes about losing my hair.

That's fair. Yes, that's fair. That's tit for tat, man. But that's totally fair. No, honestly,

it's, it's a, it's, it is a spiritual journey for whoever has to go through it and it's it's a lesson that you need to get through to be whole it's just the way it is we're gonna finish up here um because i i just have a couple quick things because i want to thank you for the kelly sandal um that came in and i and i know how much interest you have in music and fashion everything else with all the stuff you have in music and fashion and everything else

with all the stuff you have going on. But I think the cool thing for you and getting behind the products is part of it has to also be like, I'm in this lifestyle every day now for this long, and this is a product that I wish existed. This isn't just somebody getting into clothing. This is somebody who has firsthand assessments of like, I wish there was something like this and you can make that happen. And I love it. It's really high quality. I'm going to take it out later today.

But I'm not just saying that because you sent them to me. I was really blown away by them when I got them. So thanks. You're welcome. Yeah, it's a natural extension of my life and the things I get involved with in business. I was just literally on a call just before this about a work project we're doing. And I was asked by a group of people, how do I get involved with things and why? And I said, basically, because they're an extension of my lifestyle.

I make surfboards. I make surfboard fins. I work in that kind of design stuff a lot. Clothing has been the thing that's made me the most money in my life. Because I was sponsored by Quicksilver for 23 years and they gave me a great contract. And then I got into making my own clothing, inspired by that challenge and that journey.

And believe me, I would have a lot more money in my bank account if I stayed with Quicksilver right now. It's not just open it up and you make a bunch of money thing. It's a lot of work. And it takes years to make that stuff happen. But when I feel strongly about something or I really enjoy something, I think that work is a natural extension. Work is where most people spend most of the hours of their life doing something. where most people spend most of the hours of their life doing something.

And we don't usually look back. I heard someone recently talking about how work is not really represented in art very much. You know, the art world throughout history, it doesn't really show work. It's showing beauty of nature and flowers or whatever, a person's picture. But work is really the thing where you spend more hours than almost anything during your life, that and sleeping. But, um, I, I enjoy, I want to do work that I enjoy. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Um, and, uh, I, I, I really appreciate all the people I work with. It's fun. I'll finish here.

I'm a couple years younger, but hey, same age. We'll still apply that. As somebody who was landlocked in Connecticut and would get to surf magazines and just put up the pictures, and it was like this other planet, man, and you would see all of you guys doing all this shit. Yeah, I wonder what that was like for you. I wonder what that felt like for you because I know what it felt like for me but i surfed you know i surfed every day i was in the ocean and i met some of these guys and i got their autographs when i was a little kid but i think the and i'm sorry i didn't mean to cut you off i just know keep going the fantasy of what you see and the mystery that around that as a kid in the 80s looking at a surfing magazine,

I was like, look at these other worlds out there. It's insane. It really was. Look, you want to play basketball, you just go outside and play basketball. You could see it on TV, but then you can go out and do it. You could do it even skateboarding. You just find a parking lot.

There's no mysterious court in some part of the world that makes it a better game. That's it. That's it. You'd be like, where the fuck is this? what how does it even happen and these guys get to go and do all this stuff and you know we'd be talking about you dudes and none of us even surfed like i'd rent a boogie board in rhode island and then be like oh yeah i think i have that i remember one time i was like 13 or 14 i was like oh yeah i do that i know that trick i know that trick i know i

was like going through surf magazine it was like i didn't know any of those fucking tricks man but you know you're just young and you're stupid but you're so inspired and so pumped up so it's funny the imagination the imagination's running wild you know that's what i love about the sport even though i'll admit you know my my transition to it here in manhattan beach has not gone as smoothly as i thought it would they don't put it in the pamphlets like if you're not good, you're actually just going to paddle and burn out your shoulders in five minutes and then you're just going to get trashed on a big day. And your back's going to hurt and you're going to get in someone's way and they're going to yell at you and call you poop. Yeah, it's a little weird on the El Porto side. It gets a little point break-ish.

And there's great whites all around the South Bay and you don't know that. I don't want you saying that to me. Because the thing thing is I'm going, cause I had you on today. I'm going out right after I get out of here just to say I interviewed you and then got in the water on the same day. So, um, I just want to thank you for this. I've never met you before. Obviously I've consumed a lot of it, but you're a legend man. And I appreciate the time. Good to talk to you, man. Have fun. Hope you get some waves. We're going to try. You want details? Bye.

I drive a Ferrari 355 Cabriolet. What's up? I have a ridiculous house in the South Fork. I have every toy you could possibly imagine. And best of all, kids, I am liquid. So now you know what's possible. Let me tell you what's required. Life advice, lifeadvicerr at gmail.com. It's just Kyle and Ryan ride today. What's up, man? One week out, huh? Yeah. Yeah. I'm checking the weather, doing the 10-day you know i get nervous about that because if uh if it does rain

we have a janky slightly jankier setup that hopefully we don't like you know me and the fiancee haven't really discussed it because i could see her face whenever i'm like you know if it rains so i don't know how much you trust those forecasts so i probably shouldn't even look until like you know three days from now that's fair yeah don't don't pre-schedule your anxiety right yeah because the temp the temperature has dropped like eight degrees on the on the 10 day out thing already in like a day i was like let me just not do this so i'm just gonna just gonna roll it i also had to close the rsvp thing because i got a fake ryan rossillo uh rsvp today and i was like all right we're gonna shut it down i forgot to uh i forgot to shut it down that's not a cool joke you don't need that no i'm not even talking about me yeah

that's the part is some of the stuff that happens it's personal people mess with you um that's that's not always the greatest time i'm gonna leave that topic alone uh because we could go down a road. Are you allowed to drink? You know, she knows it's going to happen, but it's really up to me to be a champion that day and not ruin it. We've got a Thursday night crew that's going to be pretty large, and I'm already just hoping I don't look like death from that.

So I don't think I'm going to be one of those guys that the day I was like, man, I can't do this. And I got to start drinking whiskey to get out there. I don't think that's going to be the case. Uh, but you know, it is going to be a lot of waiting around and when I'm waiting around with the buds, but I do would like to have some of the drinks. So, uh, I don't know if it should be beer or if it should be, uh, you know, have like a glass of whiskey. Cause those, those can get out of hand. So I don't know. I don't know if I'm supposed to smell like beer at the altar. It's probably a no. So I'm not really sure.

None of my buddies that are with me have been married before, so I can't really ask them what they would do. So I don't know. You probably don't have much advice either. Well, I can tell you about a couple buddies. There was one buddy who treated the whole week like his own private spring break. And then, uh, he got really, really banged up at his wedding, but she knew the deal, right?

Like she already knew who she was marrying. She wasn't, but the, even the, the, the parents, right. His in-laws kind of knew, but the way the story goes is he just stayed on this bender and they because they immediately went on the honeymoon and for whatever reason the immediate family was like in phase one of the honeymoon so he kept going and there's a story that at breakfast he was still drunk from the night before and just started drinking the hard stuff in the morning and he was like talking to the in-laws being like this honeymoon is off to a wicked start like basically just going like it is pound town on the regular and it was bad he had to go on like a timeout it may even been a cruise man guys were like what did he like

you know because i don't i don't say this is any kind of badge of honor but i just always think back to like the the 20s bartending years where you're just like jesus christ what's wrong with us and yeah you know then and then you would you would hear a story like that. And even our group of dudes would go, whoa, dude, that's a different caliber, right? That's not, that's not cool. Uh, and then one guy wasn't allowed just straight up. Wasn't allowed. Wasn't allowed to drink at his own wedding. Yeah.

I don't think I'm there. She, she told me, she was like, you know, in the last hour, I'll probably pull it last hour or two. I'll probably pull the rip cord. She's like, I probably won't survive. Like, you know, to like go to the afters or whatever. And she's, I was like, okay, well, you know, if you're, if you're going to, you know, nominate yourself for that, I'll, I'll go ahead and do that as well. But, um, but I think I'll host, I'll host later festivities. If that's cool. I think it's the before that, that I'm worried, you know, I know she's going to be having like champagne and stuff like that which i mean she's not a big drinker but she is

a huge lightweight which uh you know i'm not concerned i feel like she won't do anything to sabotage the day uh you know me it's going to be you know it takes me takes me like 25 minutes to get ready meanwhile she's like you know the wedding's at five and she's like showing up for to start the getting ready at like 10 45 a. Basically I'm going to, you know, I think I have to basically be there 30 minutes before and just, you know, throw on the stuff. But, um, it's really that, that in between time that I'm like, I really got to make sure I do the right thing in that time. Okay.

Uh, I think, I think we covered it there. I think we covered it. Even our friend who wasn't allowed to drink, like towards the end of the night when everything was shutting down. And of course he's still like up and ready to go. And everybody else is, you know, it's getting late, but there's still another Dude, they're a little sweaty.

Yeah, but there's still another two hours into the night. And we're like, come on, dude. She's already in bed. You're still up. Your whole family's here. And he was like, nope. He's like, I made a promise on the day that I wouldn't get after it. And we were like that's it like that was it you know i don't know if other guys get off on the right foot you know i get it yeah right start this out with a with a oops

uh all right unrelated we had a few lego follow-ups where um some people emailed in it did not feel like uh my drive-by on adults who enjoy legos was warranted they were insulted they were uh because these people that emailed the show are adults who enjoy legos so let's go back over it uh what i was saying was you know of all the things that you could do that maybe as an older person, the significant other could be like, wait, what? What is this guy into? So what's the rule on the show? If you enjoy Legos as an adult, I think that's fucking awesome. And I'm not critical of you.

Enjoy your Legos. I'll admit, I'll see a display every now and then. I'm like, that looks pretty fucking cool. That looks awesome. But that took a while. Yeah. I'll see a display every now and then. I'm like, that looks pretty fucking cool. That looks awesome. Bet that took a while. Yeah. Yeah. I come from a building background.

You know, there's moments where you're like, would I be into models? I'm like, I'm not doing that. But I like that you do it and I like that you enjoy it. But what you need to understand as the offended Lego adult is that as a single guy, if i'm bringing home someone from the fairer sex and there's some fucking legos in the corner i never want to have to explain that that's going on your scouting report for sure yeah for sure everything's going great we've had a few dinners you're coming back maybe you want to watch a movie, you know, like code.

And then all of a sudden there's just Legos all over one end of the dining room table. I don't think it's hard. It shouldn't be hard for anyone, even a pro Lego adult, to understand that for some of us, that could be a tougher sell. That might not be... It's just different than a puzzle. Right. It's different than a puzzle. Yeah.

It's just different. I don't know why, but it is. Okay, but what you have to do, this exercise, you have to then imagine this is the first time you've hung out, first time she's been at your house, and she has friends,

and then she says to the group chat, it was a little weird. He had Legos. He had like a Batmango thing that was like half done and he said oh i'm working on this and he didn't put it away not one other person is going to be like that's so cool that he's still into legos no one is going to say that so yeah that's what's wrong with it bobby bacala had his trains you got your legos that's, that's the problem with it. Bobby Bacala had his trains. You got your Legos. That's fine. That's fine. People do it,

but it's just not, you know, it's not the same as having a pickup basketball thing. It's just not the same. That was the point. Right. I think the train thing is really cool. Some people are going to say Legos and trains. One of the biggest problems we have in this country right now is we want everything that's similar to be the same.

There are things that are similar. But just because they're similar, it does not mean that they are the same. I thought about doing a train track thing for my dad. Big train guy? I think he always wanted them. And he never did it. We had a neighbor when I was really young. This old guy.

And he had a whole train set up in his basement. And it was incredible. I mean, when you're a kid and you forget touching it, when you just get to see it and you're a little kid, you're like, oh, I can't believe this exists. I noticed that my dad was really into it. And he had said something like, when I'm old, I would like to do something like that. And I was like, what? And now I kind of get it a little bit uh but I don't know I don't know how I don't know it might be a massive waste of money all right moving on uh emails here my stalker is my co-worker now all right 33 5 11 200 training for a marathon try to do it under four hours we will see you still can put the sticker up if you go over four hours I think

I work for a company that has been recently making some moves and acquired some other businesses in our niche industry. The industry is incredibly small as far as human talent goes. Everyone knows everyone. I run a product line that's being implemented at some of the businesses we have. I'm going to try to make this a little bit more vague. So basically, everybody knows everybody. Here's the issue. One of the sales managers of the company is a woman that took advantage of me when i was heavily under the influence of drugs and alcohol this was in college i went to a concert jam band got very sideways and went to a bar after i couldn't have been speaking english by that point in the night one thing leads to another i'm at her place wired and on the moon while she's attempting to have sex with me um i'll leave out some of the phrasing here.

He says, quote, I am sure I wasn't exactly saying no, but I don't have a clear idea how I even got to her place. Admittedly, I was knee deep in widespread panic and not asked back then. So despite my state, I should read that with different emphasis. I was knee deep in widespread panic and not asked back then. All right. So he was more into the jam bands than dating. I think that's what he's saying. I think everybody figured that out. Despite my state,

I might have even let her on. I'm not trying to be mean, but let's say she wasn't getting drafted in the looks department. Okay, so didn't sleep. Her walls were melting, so just bailed. Managed to walk out of her house and find my way to a friend's that lived close by.

The sun was up by then. Showered and went on with my life. All in the game, I guess. Can't be a fat, drunk asshole and expect things to go well for myself. Wow. Buddy, I do have an extra plate at this wedding. You're inviting this guy? I have to say, if he was the fake rassila guy and he

showed up i wouldn't be mad my type of dude all right um anyway apparently she thought the night went great spent months texting me drunk dialing finding and pinning me in the corner at bars coming to frat parties inviting me to every single one of her sorority social events. Oh, so she was I thought she might have been a little bit older. Apparently not. They were in school together.

Tell mutual friends that I said yes. I didn't really handle any of it well. Should have ripped it in the bud instead of avoiding her, but I was 19 and an idiot. I just avoided her for a year and eventually she got the picture, but it was a long year and a lot of long messages. Notes

left in my apartment. Snapchat. The rare times we were in the same room. It was tense. Jesus. Now that I have to work with her a few times a year, she's acting like we're old college buddies. Alright, so I guess we are the same age here in this story. When she's attached once she gets drinks with my wife and asks me how my kid is i can't exactly tell my boss hey you gotta get rid of this chick

she uh let's just again to clean it up here and not not offensive you know there's just certain like words that you know whatever but he's saying like hey this girl uh attacked me when i was on acid let's get rid of her so he goes i don't know what to do yeah that's um that's a tough one i mean the problem that you have is you admitted here let's all be grown-ups about this is that you know your options are pretty much directly related to how attractive you are to the opposite sex so um some people can get away with stuff and then other people at the other end of it where maybe they don't have as many options uh throughout life the the one nibble that they get a year they are never going to stop reeling they are never ever going to stop they'll

start throwing fucking sticks in the water they're never going to because they're going to think that like oh this was actually a pretty good score despite the fact the guy might have been on acid. Let me just do a quick follow-up and see if he's still into it. And then the other way around as well, right? Like to see. So

it sounds like even though she got the picture, she still hasn't gotten the picture. Right? I would leave the boss part out of it. Unless you are that tight. Like, you have to be almost brothers tight with your boss to even explain this story. And I think as a society, too, sometimes the way we process who's to blame and who isn't for that kind of stuff. There's very obvious ways that we kind of dissect that stuff but

uh i don't know kyle like i mean you could just i like everything most of this most of the solutions are just tell her hey guess what like we're not buddies that night bum me out i'm taking responsibility for it that's that but like you're not hanging out my wife and my kid it was a long time ago or you could just send the text that's awesome, but you just go, I don't want to do this. You know what I mean? Because nobody sends that text ever. Nobody said, because you don't care, right? I mean, unless there's some business relationship thing down the road, but I don't think you care about that because you're suggesting maybe even going to your boss about it. So it doesn't seem like, think about this. A lot of times the exit strategy is complicated

because you have to worry about feelings after the exit. I don't think you care about feelings at all here. Zero, which is great. The power of a sentence that is texted to another person that says, I don't want to do this ever. There's no gray there. That might be your move. Yeah. like that's there's no gray there there's no that might be your move yeah i think this falls slightly falls into the normalized no category you can just text no i mean i think that's one of those things that you know if she's texting you like how's this how's

that you just text no i mean she could probably put two and two together um you know i would say if you were if you were like you know younger you or even younger me like i would think this was interesting interesting although like you know stressful I would say it's nice to be like, but when you got like a wife and kids, I mean, you probably don't give a shit about that, especially if it's a person that, you know, you're not interested in looking at. But I definitely would stay away from the boss. I mean, this might be a situation where you're just not like doing work drinks. I don't know, like it could it could be that sort of deal. But like you said, if you if you're not into the, like, if you don't care about how this is going to go over, as long as you're not going to call her any like mean names, there's really like you're

a hundred percent of the right in almost anything you say. So you could, you know, if the, if the mode that she's hitting you up with is text or whatever, you could just do that. Like you said, I don't want to do this just straight up. No, you know, that's, you really have no, you won't have any qualms about that or how you acted. Um, I don't know. I, the small part of me would have been like, ah, there's some chick at work that likes me weird. But, uh, I think, uh, I think you're probably, you're probably just done with, you know, if you can get over the awkwardness and just, and just like have this wall up and it's this one way thing. And it's like, at this point, she's just embarrassing herself. Then, you know,

then I think that's fine. But I, I, like I, like I said with you, I wouldn't go to the boss unless it's like, unless getting to the point where she's touching you. Cause what it sounds like she's doing now,

it's just college, but she's not like, you know, it's not like, Hey, we should get out of here. Right. But the problem is the fact that she was leaving notes,

hitting them up for a year. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. But the fact that she has that in hitting them up for a year years ago right yeah yeah okay but the fact that she has that in her scouting report makes me not want to ever see her again okay because it's like look it's painfully obvious like we we're all pretty simple when someone doesn't respond to any inquiries it means they aren't interested okay when you keep reaching out to the same person over and over and over again and they're not responding guess what dude the mystery has been solved so the fact that she would do this straight probably as our guy said here she was like oh man like you know uh you know this would be an amazing like dude to date despite the night he was on acid at my house um you know look i have guy friends that are just kind of like hey man i got a wife i got a kids and and i never hooked up with any of them on acid so right i'm just saying this was tell me

right i'm just saying if this was her cringy behavior 10 years ago and and right now it's just like she's acting like she knew you for a while. Cause you know, she's, you're somebody at this job that she like goes back with. It's uncomfortable for you, but she's not like, you know, assaulting your, you know, your peace of mind, even, even though like you think that she is. So she's, if she's not doing stuff that's inappropriate, she just wants to act like she knew you before. You know, I don't know. I don't know how, how like, you know, abhorrent that behavior is. If it's like, if you know, if you guys are at drinks and she's like, has to sit next to you, and then it's like, you know, close and like, Hey, maybe we should get out of here or something.

That's, that's one thing. But if she's just like, maybe she's embarrassed about that, but she, you know, but she still like, likes that she knew you from somewhere else, especially if she's new at the company. So you might just have to disappear. I don't know if this is like, if she's not seeking you out beyond the, beyond the normal stuff, like if she's texting you and stuff like that outside of, you know, the normal need for communication at work, I think you, I think you just hit her with the hard no or whatever you said that just kind of leaves nothing to be, you know, desired or wondered about. But, you know, if she's just, if she's just acting like she knew you because she did know you like 10 years ago,

I don't, I don't really know how crazy that is other than you just being uncomfortable. So here's what you got to ask yourself that. Look, i think she's probably a loser uh this guy's more attractive than other people that she's hung out with in the past and that's why she didn't let it go for a year and despite the clear signs that this guy wasn't into it there's a whole nother element of this that i don't want to be insensitive of it because it's you know the other way around um but since the guy's emailing us and making fun of himself and making jokes and all that like we're taking a little bit more license with it which i'm just reminding the audience we're not being insensitive about that dynamic of it but this is clear like

she sucks she's not she didn't let it go for a year that's scary as shit when somebody won't leave you alone after even a bad night and then is like, hey, I'd like to meet up with you. I never want to ever see this person. I know that I'm going to have to run into the work thing. I'd leave the work part out of it. But I would be very direct, very direct in a text going, I don't want to see you.

I have a wife and kid now. The past is the past, and that's that. That's what you do. Yeah, unless she's what you do. Yeah. Unless she's your manager in a year. But who knows? She'll probably still like you. She doesn't let it go for fucking 10 years.

All right. New homeowner. A little lighter here. What's up, Ryan, Kyle, and Steve? 32, 5'11", 170. Excellent jump shot, but terrible handles. This is Jalen Brown. Ran a 5K once.

Congrats to Kyle on your upcoming nuptials. My wife and I are about to celebrate our one-year anniversary, and I just want to say marriage is awesome. All caps, Kyle. Kick ass. Thanks. There you go. I hope your wedding goes off without a hitch,

and I'm glad to hear you guys, that your guys squashed the beef. Me too. Beef update, we're still good, right? Yeah, one of the bouncers just told me he can't come last night to the wedding, so we're down to one bouncer, but I think he'd be able to handle it. I still, I don't want to add to the anxiety now

that we have a 10-degree drop in the predictions or the weather forecast. If I could pick one of the bouncers, it's the guy that's still coming. It's the Frolic guy, so that's good. Is that the guy that whipped the pranksters with his belt? Yeah. The guy that whipped pranksters with the belt

is going to be at your wedding. God, Kyle. He's pretty even-handed. He didn't punch the guy. He just took his belt off. No, he was awesome. No, no. I think that guy's great by the way uh

because he was totally he was totally that's the calmness with being bigger than everybody else for like pretty much every interaction how big is that guy that guy looks huge he's a little taller than me um i think he's got a size 14 shoe he told me so you know he's he's just kind of just a large man he's big then but i guess I guess those pranksters are really small. You see towers over those guys. Not as big as I thought, but don't tell them I said that. Okay. Along with our anniversary, my wife and I are about

to close on our first house. I haven't lived in a house, real neighborhood area since I left for college in 2009. It's either been dorms or small apartments. A little context in the new house. We live in a suburb outside of Kansas City on the Kansas side. That's super important to note because F Missouri. Wow. I don't know what that's about. We're going to just abstain. We'll live in your traditional

Midwest 80s style neighborhood with nice curb appeal and good sized backyards. These guys get a little slice of America. How about that? Being a first time homeowner. I'd like to go to a fair. Moving on. Being a first-time homeowner and having houses on either side, do you have some common do's and don'ts to being a respectful neighbor while also enjoying the fruits of all of our hard work? For example, I would hate to feel like I can't have a part in my backyard fearing that it would get too rowdy and disturb the neighborhood. Thanks, guys. Okay. Really good questions. My rule, you know, the first place I owned, I bought, I brought this up before, but I bought the restoration hardware gas fireplace thing with the glass backsplash. And it was the biggest fucking waste of money ever. It looks so great in the catalogs, but it's also like a $20 million house in Malibu, not a $400,000 condo in West Hartford. So I bought it, had it delivered, was super fired up, bought the gel that I could light for the whole deal. And man, when I first had that thing cooking, I was like, this is so awesome.

Apex. And then it rusted. I think I used it for the one party that I had. I had one party, I think ever, that was like a real party catered affair NBD didn't throw the cover on it um constantly the cover was off it snow storms it would blow off go missing I think I even reordered the cover the gel expired uh some of the like slots were rusting and it was funny because when I sold the place to the new people were like hey that's going with you right i was like nope i was like enjoy oh i think i even broke one of the glass sides of it it looks amazing in

the catalog it doesn't look good at your place so the reason i tell that story is that the impulse is going to be that you're going to want every little thing ever you're going to want all sorts of stuff like look i'll admit when i got my boat, I started looking at stuff and like, oh, should I buy like a full blown like SOS radar machine that like runs forever and is waterproof? I'm like, I'm definitely going to need that. I'm like, no, you're not. You're not, you're not taking this boat. This isn't like, you're not going to be in the shipping lanes, dude. But I bought it, right? Because I was kind of excited that I had my boat. The same principle applies to home ownership. It even happens in apartments, but especially when it's your home, you're going to want to do all of these different little things.

And I'm just telling you, there's like this 60-day window there where you're going to end up, if you feed those impulses, you're going to waste so much fucking money. All right? So that's my first tip, because you're going to have all this shit at your house. You're like, did I need a four-seasonal Gore-Tex couch that's good in the rain? Because the New England thing I was always dealing with. And it's like, dude, you never want to sit in the backyard of a condo association. Like that's not what you're going to get in the car and go somewhere and read a book if

you're going to do that kind of thing. All right. So that's the first warning. As far as the parties thing, don't do it immediately. Settle in. You know, have people say hi to you. Say hi back. If you throw a housewarming bender within the first few weeks of showing up there, that's going to be the first impression that you can never change. You can never do the first impression a second time. I have made that mistake where out of the jump, I'm coming in hot and then you're that guy no matter what.

no matter what. So it's your house. You're paying for it. You're paying property taxes just like everybody else. And maybe some of them are even renting, right? Start getting into that weird dynamic. So I would say

do your thing. It's your house. And yeah, because you trend a little younger. But if you're younger and you've bought this place and these other people have been in the neighborhood

a long time and they're all older than you, it can get really weird if you do it too early. And then everybody's going to have a reason. They're all going to start meeting and trying to gang up on you about bullshit. That's not even accurate. So how long do you think is enough time? Like when you're the new guy in the block and like, you've met everyone in a, what is it like a one, two, two house radius that you're like, Heyyan i'm here like how long before they like put a face to the guy and like think you're all right before you're like i'm gonna have 50 people over in my backyard the last place i moved to a bunch of neighbors came by individually to

be like you renting that like nope concerned neighbors right they wanted they wanted me to be a renter so fucking bad it was pretty funny uh so i've been the one time we've ever had people over here was so much later and then of course somebody's girlfriend called the cops on us and the cops didn't even bother coming to the house and then somebody told me about it the next day they're like hey this girl that's staying in the house next to you who doesn't even live there, she's the worst. And I go, there was like four people up there. We weren't even doing anything. She goes, no, that's the point, is that she was bothered.

She heard a voice on a balcony. And then the cops didn't even, like they drove by the house, like going, what? Is this a joke? Yeah. So I never even knew. I never even knew that anybody had called or drove by. But again, in a neighborhood, everybody being on top of everybody else, I can kind of get it. So look, the answer to that would be, you know, one month is cool, but like two, Vince Vaughn's kind of money.

Like if you gave it two months. So one, you're getting your house ready. Now, if you're on the younger side of things and you have a bunch of friends that are like, we want to see the house, we want to see the house, we want to see the house, maybe two months is going to take too long. I'm just saying, give it a little bit of time. And a lot of it depends on who your neighbors are. Some neighborhoods are great where they want everybody to be cool, but there's a really good chance you're going to have that one neighbor that always fucks it up for everybody. It just feels like no matter what- It's got five cameras on his house.

up for everybody it just feels like no matter what five cameras on his house seriously it feels like like 80 of us all get it and then maybe 10 to 20 don't and that's our biggest problem uh in general we're not just talking about neighborhoods but i i just i'm telling you if you're younger and it's you know it's this kind of neighborhood and there's probably some older people in there like they still feel like even though they own their house and you own yours, that they're still in charge, which is why the condo townhouse thing, which look, I've done twice. I actually think three times because that's what I could do at the time. But that can be a little bit more territorial where it pisses you off. You're like, hey, I saved up my money. I filled out all the mortgage paperwork that never seems to end. And you always think you're done and you're never done.

And I do my deal. I pay my properties. I do everything the same as you. So just because you've been here longer, you're going to tell me what I can and can't do? Look, if you're an asshole, then that's different. But I think most people aren't. It's kind of my 80-20 thing all over again there. But I would wait. I would wait. I would not just, I would not, you know, get Steve Miller cranking on the Bluetooth week four, or night four, right? Sure.

So we're talking, and we're not talking, you know, condo place here. We're talking 80s, you know, middle America style neighborhood. So everybody's probably got sitting on a, like a quarter acre maybe or something like that. Like there a little space in the back like that yeah right yeah but it's not you know it's not like we're on the shared patio that are not shared patio but like everyone's back just kind of runs together or something like this might be a deal where you've

got you know an enclosed thing and like if that's the case like do you go around to you know i don't know one or two houses in every direction? Like, hey, having a few people over, you're welcome to come on Saturday. I just want to give you a heads up. Like, is that the move? Or are you just kind of like, hey, it's Saturday. What do you want? Unless they're nerds, right?

I mean, that's a problem. I mean, like, do you give a heads up, do you think? Like, especially if it's your first time, like, hey, I would love, you know, if you guys want to stop by, that's great. You know, we're gonna have burgers, dogs, beers, stuff like that uh i think it's a great call kyle great addition uh to this which isn't really that big of a deal but the nerds thing is like what if you invite them over and then they're like oh my god we got invited to like a cool person hangout and then they want to come to everything and then all of a sudden you have to like uninvite them but i think people are just better at that stuff uh than i would ever be so yeah the nice thing to do and these people look they're moving

they're moving here midwestern stock they probably get along with everybody everybody's probably easy going they're all super friendly so yeah invite the neighbors but yeah go around do a little do a little hey what's up and eventually the problem neighbor's going to expose them and there's nothing you can do to ever make that person happy because their whole point is they're so miserable they want everybody else to be miserable so uh you're is going to expose them and there's nothing you can do to ever make that person happy because their whole point is they're so miserable they want everybody else to be miserable so uh you're never going to appease that person uh but that person probably exists the door-to-door is sort of like the version of like the college dudes going to like the you know the couple that's like living in a college channel like hey like if you could just

like you know talk to us before you call the cops like that'd be great like that's sort of just you're just you're just like make you know it's if you could just like totally you know, talk to us before you call the cops, like, that'd be great. Like, that's sort of just, you're just, you're just like, you know, if you could just like totally, you know, if you like have any problems, you could just call me or Brad, you know, just before you call the cops, like, that'd be great. We'd totally turn it down if you want. But that's just the adult version of, you know,

securing that makes sure that, you know, you don't get off on the wrong foot with these people. Yeah. I think that's smart. Another good little nugget from you. The best with that one was always, yeah, just call us. Oh, and by the way, we're never turning it down and we're gonna get just as loud the night before but if good chance i won't

even hear that call that by the way no one's gonna pick it up i'm presenting this as if i'm like a really reasonable mature college age kid but in reality you have already lost the battle hasn't begun and you've already lost just a heads up but i'm pretending advanced for the cigarette butts right they're going over the fence i can't do anything about it uh if i were you i would tell the other people just don't like leave anything outside just don't have anything outside because we're gonna have people in and out of here all the time if it's not chairs definitely lose the chairs right if it's not going to be stolen it's going to be smashed to bits it's just the way it is you know a couple milwaukee beasts in you guys are going to start breaking shit so just heads up i would just get all your stuff off of the lawn yeah good luck i mean i feel bad do you know when

the date on this email was because if you're telling this guy two months is the best he's not like running out of summer here we just you know we're june one right now but um you know he's waiting till july until early august maybe yeah look maybe that's the move right maybe it's a july 4th thing like everybody else is having a good time you're right on it kyle from just if they wanted to get this thing going early we gotta stop talking about this email but uh july 4th is your is your trojan horse into this totally yeah totally and you're not even doing fireworks. You didn't get mad at me?

Didn't know this neighborhood hated America. Done. Perfect. Life advice. Thanks to Kyle, Fuck Steve, Ryan Rosillo Podcast, Ringer Spotify. Outro Music you