The Ryen Russillo Podcast - Harrison Barnes, Nate Bargatze Returns, and Life Advice

Episode Date: March 11, 2021

Russillo is joined by Kings forward Harrison Barnes to discuss the Kings’ season, his teammates De’Aaron Fox and Tyrese Haliburton, Harrison’s new position as treasurer for the NBPA, trade rumors, and more (2:15). Then comedian Nate Bargatze returns to discuss his new Netflix special ‘The Greatest Average American’, which premieres March 18. Nate talks about coming up in comedy with Pete Holmes and Hannibal Buress and shares some stories from the Comedy Cellar in NYC before Ryen pitches Nate some jokes (18:30). Finally Ryen answers some listener-submitted Life Advice questions (52:30). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

uh the college i posted yesterday people got real mad about that i saw that what's what's funny is uh it got taken out of context no way text it did but i posted it so i took myself out of my own context so it was my fault i couldn't even be like you guys are not hearing the whole thing and they're like you posted it dude like i didn't have you're like that's fair so what was it so go over it all oh i don't know i do think we were making fun of uh my co-host aaron he went to notre dame he took a friendship class the class is called friendship so i was making fun of like that's insane that you can you would go to college you're paying all this money and then you're taking a class called friendship like and i i can't i'm not smart enough to get into that college that's the complaint i'm not smart

enough to get in but you go take friendship or he took another class called the magic of numbers and it was just like these names you're like come on dude like this is insane okay today's podcast harrison barnes could he be traded? We'll ask him. And we have Nate Bargatze, new Netflix special. We talk about the world of comedy, and then I pitch him a couple jokes. Good luck. Nine seasons in the league, Sacramento Kings forward Harrison Barnes joins us on the podcast. I like your team.

I know the record probably frustrates some. There's players I like. And you've had a great year, arguably the best year of your career. What do you think the biggest issue's been so far? You know, this season, you know, we started off a little rocky, and then we kind of found our groove. But we had one stretch where we were inconsistent, especially defensively,

which allowed us – that put us behind the eight ball. We were about 12-12, had an eight-game slide. Now we're trying to get back on track, but we have a lot of talent. We have a lot of belief in our locker room. It's just a matter of putting it all together, specifically on a defensive end for us to get where we want to be. I need to start with De'Aaron just because he's been so incredible

for stretches. I think there are small reminders where maybe people aren't paying attention to every team. They'll be like, oh, wait, this guy again. What's the most impressive thing about his game for you? I think his competitiveness. His ability to really take it to another level

in the fourth quarter. Specifically speaking of point guards, I think he has one of the biggest upsides of any point guard defense. His ability to really guard guys, make life difficult for them

as he continues to mature and get older and grows on that side of the ball, I think that's where he can really separate himself from his peers. Having somebody like Tyrese come in as a rookie, and the league is different now that back in the day you may think, okay, how can you have two guys with the ball? Are they going to be able to play together?

But he can do so many things. Has he impressed you with his understanding of the game at such a young age and being able to kind of play multiple roles depending on who's out there it's funny because i always get asked about tyrese a lot and the biggest thing the biggest way i would describe his game is that he's just a connector like when he's out on the court he can can, he knows how to play. He knows how to make guys better, whether he's on ball, off the ball, whether he, whatever position you put him in, he's going to find a way to be productive. And I think that really goes a long way, you know,

with our team and how he's able to impact. How much do you pay attention to trade rumors for yourself? Not a whole lot. I mean, I was, I've been involved in trade rumors really since after my rookie season. So I think there has been a deadline or an off season of which I haven't been a part of some type of, some type of rumor. How did teams handle it differently? Cause I imagine, you know, I can talk to guys about it and be like, hey, I wish they handled it this way.

And I've always kind of said, you know, nobody really likes the way they're disappointed. Some people do want to be traded at times. But how would you describe, you know, Golden State, Dallas, and now Sacramento, how different are teams in the way they try to handle it with players that are involved in this kind of stuff? It's different. A lot of it depends on the makeup of the team you know some situations it'll be like look you know this is a business but you know the guys in this locker room you know we're focused on a goal versus other places where it's like well you know

this is where our team is at how are we gonna you know progress the timeline forward or how do we you know get these certain guys um you know, the right core group moving forward. So everyone's different. But I think as a player, when you have years in this league, when you have experience, you learn what you can control and what you can't. And the biggest thing you control is trying to get better every day, taking care of your body and putting yourself in a mental space to be ready to adapt to whatever situation, you know, is on the horizon.

When you were moved out of Golden State, were you like, all right, I get it. I mean, it's Kevin Durant. I mean, you know, I had a very candid conversation with Bob Myers, candid conversation with Coach Kerr. You know, at the time, they let me know what the situation was in terms of, you know, what free agency was going to look like and who they were going after. So, you know, what free agency was going to look like and who they were going after.

So, you know, that's part of the business. And, you know, I think it worked out for all parties and how it went down. But you just have to be prepared for that. I mean, franchises are going to do what's best for them. And, you know, as players, you know, you have to understand the business. That first year you were in was the playoff series where golden state takes out a denver team

that won a bunch of games in the regular season i think that san antonio series could have gone either way um they they knew what they were doing you guys are a little bit younger that was an incredibly like impressive kind of warning to the rest of the league what do you remember the most about that year and i think the the biggest thing i remember about that year is that you know coming into the season no one was talking about us being a playoff team or what we were going to do and things like that so having that you know shared experience with those guys um really building and just playing you know for each other i think that was the biggest thing and then that ended up being you know a playoff team and all of that type of stuff later.

But the process and the journey was, was a lot of fun. Did you think Steph would be this? Like, were you calling buddies after one year at UNC calling just guys and be like, this guy is like, I can't believe it. I mean, if you've ever, if you've ever been around Steph for a small period of time, you know, at that time it was, you know, this guy's an all-star, he's healthy. And you look at a player like, yeah, he's definitely an all-star.

And that was, you know, my rookie year. So, you know, to see him, you know, every single day, you know, for four years, you know, to see him, you know, two-time MVP, all of his accomplishments. It's no surprise with the work that he puts in. You had Mark Jackson those first couple years. Why do you think Mark hasn't got another shot? I mean, this is a crazy business. You know, obviously, you know, he was big in the development of Steph, of Klay, you know, giving those guys confidence, you know, getting the team to be a playoff team.

But, you know, the league, in terms of especially with coaching, it's a different beast. I can only speak from it from the player's side. But who gets a look and who doesn't? It's not consistent around the league. Yeah, no, I'd agree with that part of it. God, I feel like i'm asking you three negative questions in a row here harrison i actually didn't mean to do this um because i i wanted to get your perspective on on 2016 and i was i'm a huge staff fan you know i just loved watching

you guys play it was kind of a you know there's these teams every now and then come along that even if you're not a fan of that team you go go, I just want to watch them as much as I can. And that's who you guys were. And when the first two games go the way they do, Steph doesn't even have a big game in the first one, but it's so clear that his impact and the way they were doubling Klay and Steph off screens. And you're like, okay, this thing's over. And then Draymond gets tossed. The series turns. Clearly, LeBron and Kyrie, that team was awesome.

You guys were just that much better. What do you remember about that series turning the way it did? I think the biggest thing is we had three opportunities to close out and we didn't get the job done.

Obviously, credit to the Cavs for what they did in that series. But just look at the mirror and just be candid. We had opportunities, one without Draymond. Obviously, he was there after that, but we had opportunities to close out and we didn't. Did you ever think, like, did you lose game five going,

whatever, we'll take care of them in six? Or did you lose in six and be like, we're fine, we're home, we're seven? I have to think with the success of what you'd been that season, that even with the momentum shifting a bit, there was never any doubt still, correct? I mean, just kind of figure out what that locker room was like after losing game five and six. Yeah, you never, I mean, anytime in the playoff series,

you're never thinking okay well we have this many opportunities to win a game right you're always thinking it's the next game so you lose you lose game five you know all your focus is game six you lose game six you're coming home all you're thinking about is game seven so you know that's really the focus and where you're at you're not thinking okay well if we lose game five we have two more opportunities, you know, to try to close this thing out. You have been named treasurer of the Players Association. We're talking, you know, between 400, 500 players. I don't know what the full, I don't want to cut anybody short here on full members of the Players Union.

But this is a role that I think is great. I'm really into this stuff. I love all the CBA talk. Anybody that knows me or listens to this podcast, how important is it for you not just to have this role, but also to try to do the best you can at getting players to understand? Because I don't know that, and I think those of us on the outside, it's kind of the same any workplace, but not every employee knows the benefits that are there for them, knows all the inner workings of it. How important is that part of this job for you? It's huge, and it means a lot um one to be associated you know with the union in terms of a leadership position you know coming into the league i've

always tried to you know be involved with the union go to the meetings you know talk with guys just to get a better understanding of what's really going on because like i said earlier you know this the nba is a business you know there's a lot of different moving parts that are going on that, as a young player, you're not really even thinking about. You're just focused on your game, trying to be established, trying to find your way in this league.

And to have this position, replacing a guy like Anthony Tolliver, who I have tremendous respect for on and off the court, but a guy who's had this role and who's really been with the union in a leadership position for a long time and just navigating different situations, it's big shoes to fill. So I'm definitely going to lean on him and the rest of the executive committee and learn as much as I can. I hope you take this the right way.

So I'll set it up here, but whether it's, you know, in February, setting up bank accounts for 500 students of color, put money into the savings, working with all sorts of groups, as far as trying to minimize the wealth gap,

also donating over 200 grand to eight different nonprofits. And this role that this is, this is great that more people are motivated to, to do more in the community. But you were kind of wired this way from the very beginning. Cause I remember before the draft, I asked some teams, I'd be like, Hey, what do you get on Harrison Barnes? Like, what do you think? And they go, man, he's different, but in the best way possible. And I think whenever you say an athlete is different, the first thing is like, Oh, what does that mean? You're like, no, no, no, no, no.

This is the other way. Harrison kind of sees the world a little bit different. He's way mature beyond the years, and he's kind of looking at this as I'm going to play basketball now, but I'm setting up the next thing. So what do you think the next thing is for you? Because every time I've ever talked about you with somebody, they've come away incredibly impressed,

and unfortunately for athletes, when you have interest outside of basketball, sometimes people worry about you as a player. Yeah, no, it's crazy. I mean, I'm nine years in the league and sometimes I have teammates that act like I've been in the league for 17 years the way they talk to me sometimes. But, you know, as of right now, you know, that's still up in the air. You know, I feel like I have a lot of basketball left in me. But one thing I am passionate about is, you know, financial literacy. And I think that's something that's really important. Not only all of the lessons that you learn, like around

the draft, that you come into the NBA and, you know, how do you go about managing money, but the fact that a lot of these conversations don't start until you're about to get drafted. You know, why can these conversations not start much earlier, right? You know, everybody's on the circuit. Everybody is in school at a younger age, but we don't have these conversations to write right when the payday is going to happen. So I think just in general, for the average kid learning about financial literacy and how to prepare yourself for financial freedom as you get older is very important. Did you have any issues early on?

Because I'd imagine you kind of knew, I mean, everybody can make mistakes with money. I'm not trying to ask what your positions are right now across your portfolio, but did you already have it figured out with the rookie checks? No, I mean, I didn't. What did you do? My first check was like a Panini check. And it was like more money than I'd ever seen in my life. And I thought, I was like, man, I've made it, right? Like, this is the beginning.

Like, this is it. And, you know, I was fortunate. I had a lot of mentors, but one mentor in particular was like, look, you know, money is not, you know, fast cars and expensive clothes and nice houses. Like it's opportunity and freedom. And this is this is how you have to learn about it. So the idea of saving and saying, well, OK, until you get to this threshold, you know, you don't you know really, you know, spend your money frivolously and things like that. That really kind of put me in a different track to be able to say like, okay, like if I wasn't, if I didn't have this type of guidance and this type of teaching, I probably would have, you know, spent a bunch of money on things that I wouldn't even need or have any use for right now. Yeah. So it sounds like you still

kind of had it figured out. I imagine you're not, you know, look, I mean, I'm not trying to get in your wallet here, but I imagine, I imagine things have worked out so that you're like, I can probably get myself a decent ride with four wheel drive if you want it to. Um, so anyway, Hey, look, uh, before we let you go, do you think you're going to be traded? Because I'm putting you in a tough spot here. Because if you say, yeah, I could be traded, you know how it works. You're also supposed to say you want to retire a king, which I always think is funny when a player says it. But I also understand why they do it.

But we've got a couple of weeks to go here. And a lot of teams like you. You've been great this year. And it's a good thing to remind people you're on the right side of 30. And, you know, it just seems to be a lot of interest in you. So I'm wondering how you approach it all. Well, honestly, it's, it's so funny, uh, especially with my relationship with the trade deadline, um, in recent years, I honestly, I have no idea. Like I check, I check Woj's Twitter just as much as you probably do.

And I mean, he would probably be the first person to let me know if I got traded. So I honestly have no idea. I mean, every rumor, you know, sometimes when there's smoke, there's fire. But a lot of times it's a smoke screen. So I would say it's up in the air. Well, we'll see what happens. I know there's a lot of teams rooting for it to happen, or at least fan bases, but congrats on everything you've done,

not only on the court, off the court, and as well, the position with the Players Association, because I think for a guy like you, I mean, it's going to be a lot of fun. So thanks again. I appreciate the time, man. Fired up to have Nate Bargatze on again, his new Netflix special, March 18th, The Greatest Average American. It feels like this is now, are we talking about branding people, marketing people, or is this the lane that we're expecting from you in the future?

as the greatest average American. That's such a funny thing to be marketed. It's like, I'm just going to be, I mean, you know, remember the big boy statue with the hamburger? I just hope to be that one day. Just to be able to sit there with holding that hamburger. Everybody that, you know, look, you're, as a comedian, it almost feels like, especially for your industry, you have to have like a lane.

You're like, can I just be funny? You're like, no, no, no, no. You need a lane. Did that ever come can I just be funny? You're like, no, no, no, no. You need a lane. Did that ever come up with you at any point in your career? You know, I don't think it comes up like you think about it. But I do think that – I mean, I just talk about this. The name came off a joke. Like I would just always joke as like saying I'm the greatest average American

just because I have very average american taste uh a lot a lot a lot of fast food a lot of chain stuff you know uh i use a lot of afrin that's a big average american uh you know the nose spray he's real addicted real addicted that's supposed to be seven days isn't it uh it's i mean it's ongoing there's my my dad did it his whole life and uh i mean still alive he's still doing it but it's it's uh but it's like just very whatever whatever you if you go to the middle of the country and you see laying around their house i have it okay all right so how uh how was doing this special what were, what were the dynamics behind it with everything that's gone on the last year? How'd you guys do this? They,

uh, it was, uh, I mean, it was tough. I was glad that we were able to do it. We did it. They had a hundred audience members.

Everybody had to be COVID tested. They did outside at universal studios and everybody wore masks. So I was doing drive-in movie theater dates leading up to that. And so I was kind of used to, at least for me in some kind of weird environment. And, uh, but when we did this show,

so you take two shows and you do a special, the first show. So I was timing, my set was being timed. I was timing out to about 64 minutes. So you time your, you know, you're like,

all right, when I, when I'm done and you got to do an hour. And so the first show, I can't hear laughs or see their faces. I did 43 minutes out of that 64. That's how quick. I mean, it just flew.

Right when I got off, I just knew it. I was like, that's not good. And so then the next show, I knew that I had to. I was like, all right, well, I've got to. I can't do that. Netflix is not like, don't worry about it, dude. We're just doing a 43 minute special, you know, like they're there. You're like, you got to have an hour.

And so, uh, so the next show, the next show we put the crowd had mics, like each table had a microphone. And so they put, I could hear it through my monitors just to hear some, so I could hear laughs. And that helped a lot to get us back to normal. See, you just threw a lot of stuff at me there that were I'm really interested in this so if you put together a set and you know you have an hour can it change dramatically through it where you feel the audience but in this case you're not necessarily feeling it the same you're like oh this was great

there was all these things I didn't get to or for the most part do you have it pretty pretty sized up because you have done whatever it was, you know, numerous times. Like, how does that work? The mechanics of figuring out like, oh, what did I get to? What do I not? How much do I have to map this out? Yeah.

I mean, you know, it's funny with being comedy. You do get used to time. I mean, you probably get used to time. You can kind of just fill it out. You know, you've talked so much and you have to do this time. But yeah, I i mean audience completely matters if they're not because there's different audiences there's audience that are still good audiences but they laugh and they laugh quick so they they kind of like ah then they stop and then

so like there you got to kind of like now i've got to talk sooner than i would have wherever this is a crowd that's like fired up and it's crazy. And they're laughing so long that you get a really pause and over an hour amount of time, all those little seconds add up to be in. And then you feel more like relaxed and stuff like that. Like it's almost like, it's almost like golf. Like your tempo is better.

Some shows. And you're just, you just feel very in the groove and it can be longer, but then if they're not laughing or you can't hear them laughing and you feel like you got to stay on top of them, you feel like you can't like have dead air because there's, cause it's quiet. So you're just like,

Oh, let me say my next joke. And then all that gets sped up and you start talking quicker. And then that can dramatically, I mean, I lost 20 minutes on that first show, which is, uh,

I mean, pretty crazy, pretty crazy of a big leap. I was checking out Nate Land, the podcast. You guys were talking ad reads. And as someone who does it for a living here, what are the level of complaints with you as far as the reads? Because it's not, it's apparently, has it gotten better? Because I know for a while there was dicey. Yeah, it was there. The,

what I forget, we've had some complaint. They it's cause I can't say the words. That's the problem. Like I have a lot of trouble with a lot of the words. And so, uh, that's been some of the complaint,

but I think they've been all right. I'm hoping to be like, I just tell them like, Hey, this is just what I, this is how I read stuff. And then I've just started telling the audience guys, just buy this stuff. Like I, I can't, I'm having a really tough time getting to do this, these words. So just throw me a bone and show them that we are doing it as a group. So I don't just get crushed with the ad reads. Cause deluxe that that word that word tripped you up pretty good

and no one's yeah no one said anything uh no you feel it uh helix mattress i almost said felix uh helix mattress no they didn't they haven't yet but they you know i'm sure i don't know if they're fans of the podcast so uh that's that's the only goal is all the ad people be like yeah we don't really listen to it put on time so because i've noticed a constant theme and i think as you get a little bit older and you have a daughter in your homeschooling so you you a lot of the material has been about like how horrified you are trying to help her out over the over the last year or so but you seem to be anti-school so is this all combining and like you've got an issue with math you don't like to read ads all that much but you're like you seem very anti-college do you think there'll

be a moment years from now you're like maybe maybe yeah you know my my college post just uh the college i posted yesterday people got real mad about that i saw that what. What's funny is it got taken out of context. No way. It did, but I posted it. So I took myself out of my own context. So it was my fault. I couldn't even be like, you guys are not hearing the whole thing. And they're like, you posted it, dude. Like I didn't have, you're like, that's fair. So what was it? So go over it all. Oh, I don't know. I do think we were making fun of my cohosthost aaron he went to notre dame he took a friendship class the class is called friendship so i was making fun of like that's insane that you can you would go to a college you're paying all this money and then

you're taking a class called friendship like and i i can't i'm not smart enough to get into that college that's the complaint i'm not smart enough to get into that college. That's the complaint. I'm not smart enough to get in, but you go take friendship. Or he took another class called the magic of numbers. And it was just like these names. You're like, come on, dude, like this is insane. And then I was saying, I didn't, and then we, everybody wants their student debt paid. And so I got to, I'm like, I didn't even, y'all are taking these classes. So the joke of it, the idea was it wasn't about the students.

And I think that's how people took it. I'm not making fun of the people that go to college. I do think these universities, some of it's kind of crazy. They got all this money that they're making that it's just insane to be like, where's this money going? Like, you see, they have billions of dollars. And you're like, I mean, all these alumni are giving money and all this kind of stuff, and then you're taking friendship classes, and then you're, you know, it's like, that was the complaint and the joke, and then the clip that we chose, I didn't even think about it, because I, and then it looked like I was, I'm not going after the students. I don't think college

is bad. I think it's good. I would want my daughter to go to college. If, you know, like, I'm, look, you're, if you don't go to college you end up being like me and you complain about these things yeah right because once you started talking i think there was a student debt line in there and then i was like oh he's toast i was like yeah people got pretty upset about it uh it was i don't really get people i don't really ever say anything that gets mad but you know in a podcast you're just talking you end up saying something uh but i mean it's pretty funny that i'm the one that posted that i would love to be like you know dude the press the media doesn't like it's like i'm in charge of it all like i'm just burying myself oh you don't know what the media says out there like i get to complain look

uh simmons and i had one on a draft pick that made the rounds because we were just wrong about lamella ball and i had reasons that i explained but then our own place broke out the part where I'm like, yeah, I was like, the way he played in Australia is garbage. And now he's rookie of the year. And I was like, God, I was like, this sucks. And then I was like, but I can't, I'm like my own company put it out. Like we were like, Hey, good. And you're watching a video just months later. And you're cringing going, eh, boy, he's been awesome this year. Because when you came on with me and you did the Instagram post about Tom Cruise and Scientology, the whole bit was about Tom Cruise's hypnotizing and that was it. And then I saw, because I was tagged in it, and I would, I would see a bunch of stuff and be like, I don't know, dude, you guys see that

Scientology doc? I'm like, you know what? I don't think it was a huge pro Scientology position by Nate. I think it was more about Tom Cruise in a joke. So I don't, I don't think it was a huge pro scientology position by nate i think it was more about tom cruise in a joke so i don't i don't know that he's advocating for it so i don't think we're okay yeah i will if they want me to uh what if i go i've talked to tom cruise since then i think it's i think it's the real deal dude i think you're there yeah no the joke yeah that is the joke is that he's charming and i think everybody if you got along with tom cruise you'd be in big trouble uh because you'd be on board with whatever he's going to tell you. Yeah, right.

You're just in. You're like, what are you doing? We're like, we're going to Tulum with Tom Cruise again. I got a vest. There's not really much I can do about it. Vest.

You got there. That's when he brings it over. Yeah, and you're like, you know what? People don't wear these enough. Feels good. When you, are you at a point in your career where you don't take feedback?

You don't get feedback? You only have a couple people, one person you trust with feedback on how you're doing? I like my comedy? Yeah. I mean, if someone says, it's not about my act. My act is like, because you just kind of are like, no, I know what I'm trying to do. So the feedback on the act I don't I'll tell people jokes

and stuff sometimes and be like hey do you think this is funny or a funny idea but I don't necessarily want you to write it with me I just want you to be like yeah yeah

I mean everything I ask I want you to go yeah that's great and then move on I don't really honestly want any criticism or you know be like like, well, what if you did this? I'm like, eh, I just wanted to, yeah. I tell my wife that all the time. Like,

you know what? I'd like just a yes from you right now. I don't need, we're not, we're not having that. This is not a conversation. Um, you know, one thing that happens and I know it's, it's, it's really big in your world is like how similar something can be and like hey is that similar or did you just straight take that from me or something because our our thing is stupid where i'll see like somebody somebody will tweet out like hey man you know christian mcafree was good i knew it and then some other guy would be like i was saying that forever and you're like he almost won the heisman okay yes like he was this isn't an incredible you're like, he almost won the Heisman. Okay. Yes. Like he was, this isn't an incredible, you're not discovering new land here, but there can be observations where you could go like, oh, that's similar.

That's what I'm doing. And then there's guys just straight up ripping people off. So how do you navigate all that? Uh, I, you know, I, so I don't think in comedy, uh, I do think some of that got overblown in the fact that like, I don't think comics are just stealing from each other all day long. There's, there's definitely comics taking stuff, but you're usually like in,

you know, Idaho doing an open mic and like they're nowhere. And it's like, this guy's still in his joke. As far as like the, at a high level, I mean, too many people are seeing your stuff now that they would call you out that I

think most stuff is if you always look at it as if someone does something like you, then I probably wasn't that original of an idea to begin with. And so that's anything that I've ever had where I've been like, oh, someone's doing something that I'm doing. I'm like, I look at the joke and I go, yeah, of course. Like, it's not the most original idea. Like, it's a very common idea. A lot of comics would come up with that idea. That's how I've always looked at it. Instead of trying to chase people down,

you're trying to do my thing or whatever. It's probably not an original idea, is what I kind of think. Has anybody ever come after you? I actually don't know. I'm not bringing this up because I saw anything. You're about to bring a guy in the room? Yeah, right. Actually, that whole thing about the snakes, Honduras. Has anybody ever come after you? I actually don't know. So I'm not, I'm not bringing this up because I saw anything. I mean, you're about to bring a guy in the room.

Yeah. Right. Like actually that whole thing about the snakes, Honduras, this is my, and he, I've got stolen his whole act. I'm the one that's still,

I'm like, Oh God, he found him. He found him. Has anybody ever come after you? Uh, no, I don't think so.

I'm trying to think I'll sometimes always get like some people try to say me me and Sagar had some stuff because we're both from the South and like I talk, tell stories. And, you know, you know, the thing that gets people get stolen the most is people's rhythm, their cadence. Cadence is a gigantic thing that people can kind of take from other people. And it's hard not to do when you first start, you know, Brian Regan, when you would watch Brian Regan first starting, it's hard not to like his, the way he makes people laugh is like kind of he's found a rhythm that he kind of uses. And so it's easy to kind of, if you watch him a lot, take that rhythm or David Tell. David Tell was all over New York. You would see him. And then every comic, if I've, I've sounded like David Tell, like Tell was all over New York. You would see him and every comic, I've

sounded like David Tell. You'd watch him so much and he's so good that you end up being like mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Just making these little cadences like him. That's the part that to me is worse than even the jokes.

I saw David Tell live in Connecticut. it was in a mall and it was i don't know eight years ago or something like that and there were a bunch of comics before him it was a real place you know and a bunch of comics before him were really good you know you'd have you didn't know who they were so you could say oh they're lulls or whatever not like you know i'm just a guy in the audience. When a tell came on, he did some of his bit. And then he just decided to say like, fuck it. And just veered off course. And you could tell none of it was written.

None of it was, he just owned it. Like he got annoyed about something and took it up to another level to show off like what he was a cop, like what he was capable of. And it was actually pretty mind blowing. He feels like he's a comic that other comics go dude he's at another level sometimes or was during his he's uh i always say the only comic i would pay to go see i'd pay i'd buy a ticket today to go watch him i'd watch him every show i'd watch if i did if i got to watch him six shows in a row i'd watch six shows in a row i don't think anybody's funner than attell i think he's as far as just, it's

about the jokes. It's about, you know, there's no personal, there's no opinion mixed in that kind of thing. It's about being funny. And that rapid fire that he can kind of throw out and make fun of, there's no one, I mean, he's, and everybody thinks that.

But he would always go on stage at, he'd always go last at the Comedy Cellar. And he'd always just do that. So everybody would go watch him. It'd be like two in the morning. One of the cool moments I've seen, I don't even want to talk about it. So Chappelle, when I was in New York Star,

2005, 2006, something like that. And Chappelle was coming on. And he was doing, he would come on and do like two hours, three hours So when he goes on, he bumps everybody So no other comic gets to go on If Chappelle walks in, you're like, alright See y'all, because he gets to go up He's probably going to do two, three hours

And no one else is going to get to go on And that's just the deal And that's the deal that you work for You strive to want to be Dave Chappelle That you can do that, and you can walk in And get up whenever you want so you can't do that uh no i mean i get there's places i can go i can go up yeah but i'm not not at that level not like it's not like seinfeld like where it's like you know gaffigan it's gaffigan seinfeld chris rock uh uh chapelle C.K. was doing it. You know, like those, Amy Schumer came in.

Like now it's pretty big stars. Okay, so back to the Chappelle thing. I interrupted. So Chappelle is on stage, right? Everybody's gone home. He's doing two hours. Dave Attell walks down to the cellar. He pokes his head in.

Chappelle sees Dave Attell. And he goes, oh, what's up, Dave? He goes, what's up, Attell? Did you go up? And Attell goes, no. And Chappelle goes, all right and he goes, oh, what's up, Dave? He goes, what's up, Attell? Did you go up? And Attell goes, no. And Chappelle goes, all right, good night, everybody, and left. And Attell went on. And it was the respect that was shown to Dave Attell. Dave Chappelle is

obviously very, I mean, way more famous than Attell, not taking anything away from Attell, but it was the respect that he, that he showed Dave to be like, Oh yeah, I'm not gonna bump him.

You know? And that was one of my favorite moments in New York, in New York comedy. And you were there. Yeah. Could you talk to either of those guys? I know Attell Chappelle. I've never really,

you know, what's up. I knew Neil, but I know Neil Brennan pretty well. But I, Chappelle, I've never really, you know, what's up. I know Neil Brennan pretty well. But Chappelle, I've never really been around too much. Yeah, he would just always come. I was around him. He would come into Boston Comedy Club, a club in New York,

and would always go on stage. I remember, like, right when he left for the Chappelle show, he was coming to Boston Comedy Club. He's on the Chappelle show. I mean, he used to go on stage, you'd have like makeup on his neck still from like the sketches he would be doing. And he'd go up in front of four people. We'd have no one in there. Cause it'd be like, no one's in there. And then we would walk outside and, uh, and I was like handing out flyers,

you know, that's how I got on stage. And so I'd walk outside. We'd like, Hey, Dave Chappelle's on stage. If you want to go in and watch. And then you'd have like, I mean, a mean 100 people everybody that stopped was like okay and they would all walk walk in to watch him and then you would have a full show I saw one people they didn't want it to go I told them I said Chappelle's on stage and they said we don't believe you and I go why would I why would I be standing in front of comedy club and why would I make this up i was like just go look in that window if he's not there then leave and they go no we don't believe you and they left and i think about those people every day they could have watched dave chappelle for free i see i i kind of love this and i i don't know if we're supposed to get back to the special but

i kind of feel like hey watch the special on netflix and and you'll see the jokes i don't want i don't want you to do them here. Um, but that whole stretch, that little stretch of those comedy clubs, if you like this stuff, you have to go to it in New York city to see you guys out there with the flyers. Like that's pretty much it in paying your dues. Right. And then I know some, there's a lot of elements of that at the HBO show, um, with a standup comedian, God, I'm forgetting his name is Peter Holmes. Yeah. Pete Holmes. Right. um, with a standup comedian. God, I'm forgetting his name. It's Peter. Yeah. Pete Holmes. Right. So I started exactly with Pete. I started, that was how I started. I moved, I was in Chicago and Pete was in Chicago, Hannibal Buress, Kumail Nanjiani, uh, TJ Miller. All of us were in

Chicago, 2003. And then Pete moved to comedians came out, which was a documentary on Netflix about Seinfeld, restarting his act called Comedian. And so I watched that in the movie theater and like, it was unbelievable. And so then it was like, all right, we knew we needed to move to New York. Pete moved to New York, Pete Holmes did. I moved like five months after Pete

and Pete was barking, handing out flyers at that Boston Comedy Club. So I talked to Pete. He goes, I'll get you to come do it with me. So then I went and did I did all the stuff that Pete did as far as barking at that club and work and working there and all that kind of stuff. And that's what how you did it. I mean, you barked. I mean, you'd hand people flyers. They just drop them in front of your face in New Yorkork i mean they would just i mean just grab it and look instead of just handing it back to you just let it float to the ground and just walk away and you're standing out there and it's like i mean 30 degrees dude and you're just like i just don't want to all i thought was like i don't want to be on this corner. I was like, I don't want to stand here. This is the worst.

I barked in Times Square, which was bad. I mean, that's just your, it's a zoo. So you're just like, we got a great show. And I mean, like people are just hitting, no one's even registered. How many years? I mean, probably a year or two at the bark. And then I went to another club and helped the guy run Dustin Chape and the guy that uh Dub Davidoff kind of plays in that uh in the Boston comedy in the

Pete Holmes show but then he went to New York Comedy Club and then we kind of ran New York Comedy Club where there was I was like helping him run shows and then you would go there to Broadway and then the goal of it, and then you just slowly, you know, you're doing open mics. And Eric Andre, I remember the first day Eric Andre came to New York. I was at this other place handing out flyers. Every time you did a show at the beginning, you had to, we have to get an audience in there for us to be able to do the show. So we got to go out front and talk people into coming to watch the show. And then Eric rode up on his, he's on a bicycle and he's like, what's up?

He's like, I'm a comic from, I think he's from DC. He's like, I'm a comic from DC. I just moved here. And I was like, yeah, it's like, I'm Tennessee. I just moved here. And he's like, he's like, what are y'all doing? I was like, we're handing out flyers. We're trying to do a show here. And I was like, I kind of talked to him real fast. And so I've always been kind of friends with him uh he blew up kind of quick people like people forget with him he got uh the geico commercials he was a caveman in the geico commercials and uh which sucks because nobody was like people are

going right now wait what oh yeah no one knows i mean it was a big deal because it was like it was like the first money yeah it was the first guy that you're like, oh, this dude's like making money, dude. Like, that's like real money. And being able to see it, it was like, good night. Him, yeah, Hannibal kind of blew up like that kind of quick. Like, you know, they were all in the grind. We're all doing it. And then they just all kind of, everybody moves on.

Aziz Ansari, I was doing open mics with him. And then he was hosting the MTV Movie Awards. And you're like, golly, dude, it's crazy. That's a dream team of guys, though. I mean, when you talk, because like, I would try to explain, like, you're there, you're waiting in line. You're trying to figure out which show you want to go to. There's a couple different options. Everybody's outside.

There are the flyers. And then, like, real guys, real famous guys are just walking want to go to there's a couple different options everybody's outside there are the flyers and then like real guys real famous guys are just walking around like hey what's going on who's in there what's up and then the time span of like all right you've got five minutes go and then the next person has 10 and then the headliner has this many and that's where i saw soda at the end where it's actually how i ended up finding out about you because i saw soda at the end i was like who's this guy like this guy killed it and it's like okay well there's no kidding. He went last. Yeah, Soder was doing that.

And then, yeah, we saw Soder was there too. He came a little bit after me. I'm a little older than Soder. But yeah, Soder came in and Soder was one of my best friends. But we saw Patrice, O'Neal, Bill Burr.

That's why Bill Burr and Patrice are kind of big deals to me, just because they were, I saw Burr, he was probably a 10-year comic when I first met him. And I saw him, I went to his HBO one night stand taping. Him and Patrice taped the same night. And that was like a half hour that kind of, it was like that popped off. And then he had that Opie and Anthony rant in anthony uh rant in philly if anybody's ever if anybody wants to if you haven't seen that go youtube bill burr rant philly uh and so he did

that so that happened and like he just kind of started to you know we go see burr at caroline's and he's headlining to i don't know like 100 people in there most and then the next year we go the managers won't even let us in to watch because it was too crowded. Like they were like, you can't come in. And then I went to, me and Soder went to Burr's town hall when he first did town hall. Burr's always been a big deal to me

just because I've got to like, he's always above me, but I got to like, I walked in right when he was lifting off. And I was always so blown away by him and then just seeing everything that he's done you're like i feel like i've had a front row seat kind of to his career i sent you a text about this i would say the level of enthusiasm was muted to to to lower than muted because as a sports guy i will if somebody bumps into me and recognizes me, they'll be like, Hey, I got it. What do you think if Andrew luck? And honestly, it's only, it's not to hear my opinion. It's only that the person wants to tell me like, no, you're wrong,

but here's actually my opinion on it. I didn't really care about you answer your question. I just want to get, there was a night in Boston a few years ago, a guy wanted to tell me about Chauncey Billups and it went so badly that I thought my friends are going to fight the guy. Like I played along, I let him talk. It went on and on. He was wrong about everything. It went on for 10 minutes. He was shit face. And I finally was like, look, I know Chauncey Billups. Here's what happened. You're wrong. I'm telling you. And he goes, nah, dude, I don't know. And I went, all right, this is it. So I told Nate that, you know, because people know that I moved out here to write, there were other comedians that were asking for material.

And I was like, I just know that I'm built that way. But I also feel that I didn't want to not share some of the stuff with you. So you could either tweak it or I wanted you to give the first pass at it. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right.

So this would be like, if you're back in new york city it'd have to be a major market all right so you'd be like already this joke has to be specifically done in a so already starting before even yes yeah this isn't in vandy yeah yeah this joke can't work everywhere so you're already you're selling a joke that by the way can only work in that one area all right that's yeah no it's geographically the pricing right on the joke when i buy i don't want you to not right exactly you're gonna play to the audience so you're back in the city and you'd go hey man the city city's crazy huh and you'd be like i used to live here and you know i'm i'm a kid from the south

so when i got here the homeless thing and look i'm not anti-homeless. Nobody would, nobody'd say that. Um, but I would make eye contact with homeless people and it, I just, they, they knew as soon as I made eye contact, I was just a mark. And, you know, I'd be like giving guys a couple bucks. I'd feel guilty because I didn't really know what was going on. So I was like losing a lot of money when I first moved up here. So I needed to devise a system to try to find a way to like, just rule some people out. So like if I saw a guy with a sign in the cardboard was worn and maybe misspelled some words and the marker was going dry towards the end, I'd be like, look, this guy, this guy needs a couple bucks, like no problem. But then if I saw another guy with a sign with like something clever, a saying, I'd be like, hmm, that's a good thought. And like different colors

and the lines are really straight. I'm like, this guy just hasn't really applied himself. Like there's some skills here. And I think like my couple bucks, like you're a couple of good decisions and a better shirt away from a real job. Like look at your sign. Yours is better than the other guys yeah all right tough tough ending tough dismount

yeah well the journey there was we took the long road there didn't we uh it's that i mean that's right there is that a pass out i mean we could cut out almost all of that joke. I mean, that was the journey to you explaining every, I think that's what happens is like you learn as older you get in comedies, details do matter. And sometimes like you have the misspelled word and his, you know, his sign. It's like, you got to get to that part.

That's got to be there. After you make your anti-homeless, hey, everybody, I'm not anti-homeless. You seem to like that part. You seem to like that part. Your statement about anti-homeless. You were fading. My audience have won here. All right, I got a couple minutes, so now the pressure's on.

All right, I got one more. This applies applies to any city so this will work anywhere um maybe a younger audience especially colleges but i don't want to i don't want to limit the all right so be like hey you guys uh you guys out in the dating apps that's crazy huh here's the thing about dating apps you're basically selling the best version of yourself that may not even be true. Imagine if you went to a mortgage company and said, hey, yeah, I'm good for it. Look at me. I pay my bills. I have plenty of money. I have a great job. And they just took your word for it. And then we're like, all right, here's a check. I think we need a credit score for dating. So kind of like if you get a credit card and you apply for a bunch, they're like, that's

too many inquiries. It'd be the same as if like, hey, this guy, what's his deal? Dude, he follows every weather girl in the Midwest. Those are inquiries. There'd be a slight ding. The second level of that would be like, he's been dumped four straight times. He doesn't have any dating history here where he's actually dumped anybody. That would ding your score even more.

And then finally, like a tax lien or a bankruptcy, it'd be like OJ going to his buddies being like, my score is terrible. And they'd go, dude, it's going to be bad for like a long time. You know, I like the... I went quicker because you were looking at me. You felt better about it? You should have i rushed it my cadence is off now now uh so yeah i'm not a good audience i was a terrible barker by the way because i that i brought this that doesn't that doesn't surprise

me hey we got a great comedy show you know i don't go there dude i don't care what i care if you go to the show uh i like the the him following the weather girls i've never heard that that's that's pretty funny that's a very funny like i didn't think of a guy that only follows all weather girls i have a friend who does that really it's yeah i mean that's a so that's why you can tell that's a very specific that's like the detail that's perfect because that's so specific but very funny to like just picture like he's like yeah dude like he's that guy would be like i figured it out you're all wasting your time weather girls that's where it's at follow and just following all these weather

girls uh but yeah i like i like i love that reference, I'm just, this isn't for me. You can, I mean, I know you already taped the special. I'm not sure I'll never do these, but I will. Yeah, these are, I'm not taking these. I don't, this would be, this is like, you're the homeless guy with the bad sign at first. I'm like, I'm trying to help you out so when you try to give these to someone else you know yeah well look i i got some texts here so i'll i just

look i can text some guys back and say nate passed so we're good yeah oh yeah please i'll text them and tell them don't worry about it uh let me do it i'm gonna go i want to get my heads up. I'm going to go, hey, I passed. Yikes. It would be mining. If I did it, I would mine the Weather Girl thing is what I like. That's very funny. Noted. It felt a little like taking a jumper in front of Steph Curry.

I appreciate you humoring us here on the podcast. We were trying to do something different there at the end. I loved it. There you go. No, I loved it. us here on the podcast. We were trying to do something different there at the end. So there you go. No, I loved it. The new special March 18th, the greatest average American Nate Bargatze. Thanks, man. Appreciate it. Hey, buddy. Always. Anytime, dude. Thanks. You want details? Bye. I drive a Ferrari 355 Cabriolet. What's up? I have a ridiculous house in the South Fork. I have every toy you could possibly imagine.

And best of all, kids, I am liquid. So, now you know what's possible. Let me tell you what's required. Lifeadvicerr at gmail.com. A couple feedback ones quickly. What do we got? We got somebody checking in from Germany. Also an expat.

Now Kyle left and right. Kyle, you'd be good as an expat. I bet for a little bit. It depends where I think I do. All right. In Jamaica. I don't know if you would.

Well, I don't, I don't really like whatever it is you're insinuating, but I don't know. I mean, like Jamaica, like whatever it is you're insinuating but i don't know i mean like jamaica i loved it i love it i mean i i man i'm serious when they when they were showing those videos of uh biggie smalls uncle outside of i don't know where that town is i mean i can't when i was there it was before the highway was was finished, so it's kind of a tough place to get around. Like you'd be in a village and then you'd be in the other one.

And then you'd be like, Hey, I want to go here. And then I remember I was like, Hey, can we check out Kingston? And local guys were like, no, I don't even want to go to Kingston. So like, and we're definitely not bringing you like, what are you nuts? So I'm afraid you'd end up in Kingston. You would just get off the plane and stay there and be like, yeah, I found an Airbnb. Like we're good to go. Well, I'd obviously talk to experts like you or somebody first, you know?

Yeah, right. I wouldn't consider myself an expert. It's been a long time now. But, oh. Zingers. Zingers from Kyle here. All right. So, let's go back to those early days.

This is an interesting one. And I'm glad that it made it through the filter. Dear Ryan, back at university, I was fortunate enough to play goalie for a D1 soccer program at your Alamada UVM. In the transition from junior to senior year, a new coach was hired. His philosophy was that no time would be wasted on conditioning during preseason training. So he provided a three-month running program for the summer. It was designed so that when you enter preseason, you would run a 550 mile to qualify to play. If you did not run it in 550, you had to sit out and try the next day until you ran it in 550. Well, I was never really into running and I was a goalie. So I figured I would work out all summer, bulk up instead, which would be better, which would better suit my position. When preseason was about to start, I called work out all summer, bulk up instead, which would better suit my position.

When preseason was about to start, I called the coach and said, Listen, I've been cleaning windows all summer and working out. I've gained 10 pounds and feel great, but there's no way I'm going to run a mile in 550. Can you make an exception for me? Goalies don't run anyway, dot, dot, dot. Coach said, No, you have to run a 550 or you can't play, Chris. I thought about it long and hard and decided that I'd rather enjoy my senior year and party more than put in the work to run this 550 mile and play on the team. Well, I went on and did just that. I even broke some known records for consecutive nights out going downtown

to drink at the bars. My roommates used to think it was funny that I'd come out of my room at 1230 in the afternoon and asked them to quiet down because they were waking me up. My uncles would come up from Boston and call me king of the school because everyone knew me and we never paid for drinks. It was arguably the best year of my life. However, I always think about what it would have been like to play on that team that year. It was my last chance to play the sport I loved and I threw it away because I was lazy. I never played again. Do you think I should go on living with this regret or move on and be happy with my decisions? What would you have done? All right. This is my roommate from college. One of mine. So yes, I'm partly to blame for that last year and him not playing soccer. So I feel like it's about his regret, but I feel like it's really

directed at me a little bit more. So Chris's story is pretty amazing. He played goalie, I think in high school was pretty good and then was bored with it. So he decided to like play in the field. Um, I don't know what position would just say striker. It sounds cool. Um, center back. I don't know. I don't know the positions. Don't get pissed about it. Soccer guys relax. So he, I think his senior year, he played in the field cause he was bored and then was all state or something crazy. Chris was arguably the best athlete of any of the guys that were athletes, but he didn't even do anything. He was crazy. He came down to work construction for my father.

We installed insulation one spring break while all the other kids with money were in Puerto Vallarta. And it was awful installing installation in the winter. But we were putting in installation and then I was showing him around the island and we found this framed out beach bathroom house thing. So all it was was the frame. And he jumped up on the frame and was like, hey, you get up on the other side. He goes, let's race to see who can run across the frame. So you're like 10 feet up running on two by fours. And by the time I had taken a few steps, he was already done with it. He's like a cat. It was weird. So he goes to UVM. He doesn't play soccer his first year, his second year. He decides his third year, he's going to try out as goalie again. He hasn't played goalie in three years. They had a full blown scholarship for one kid.

And then I think gave a partial scholarship to another kid who had transferred from Tennessee, who was like a big deal. And he also, I think that kid had a tattoo of Adidas logo on his calf because Tennessee was in Adidas school. And then for whatever, obviously didn't work out for him at Tennessee.

And then I think UVM had Nike gears. We honestly, we might've been Canon. Who knows? I don't know whyM had Nike gears. We honestly, we might've been Canon. Who knows? Um, I don't know why I pluralized gear apologies, but Chris ended up being the starting goalie. He beat the scholarship kid. He just walked on and then was, was the goalie for UVM. But yes, we did like to go out that last year and he didn't want to run that 550 mile he did come back jack though because he was eating egg whites non-stop he was like big on his whole diet and he walked around with his shirt off everywhere so he was seriously because there weren't many big guys at uvm so he came back

pretty ripped up he was probably at like 178 maybe for him and he looked great though don't get me wrong terrific looking kid and he was like he came back in with white jeans sambas a belt and no shirt like that's how he walked in oh he came in with a dog and i go what we got two dogs at the house this year i thought we only i thought there were six of us one dog he's like yeah i got a dog too his dog was no offense really dumb and but good heart dog had the heart was, really dumb, but good heart. Dog had, heart was in the right place, but I didn't know enough at that time. So, look, I don't know what to tell you, man. You're a great athlete.

I'm sure a lot of those nights you don't regret. And by the way, when he says that he used to wake up at 1230 and tell the rest of us to be quiet, he woke up once at 530 p.m. from the night before, and we were eating subs, getting ready to watch games and probably go out. And he was like, seriously, guys, I'm sleeping. Can you keep it down? And somebody was like, seriously, it's fucking the next night, dude. It's the next night. There's no whatever the window is. It's been closed for a while where you get to tell us to be quiet. It's already tomorrow. And he went back to bed for half an hour. Then

he came back out and laughed that he yelled at us. Everybody liked him. He was arguably king of the school for a little while. And his uncles did throw him up and down in the air one night, which is really weird because they were all from like the North shore or something. And they were like throwing him in the air, calling him king of the school. And there were other guys like, am I, wait, is this, is this official? Was it voted on? The bigger thing here though, and I have it, is I'll have dreams about playing basketball because I feel completely unfulfilled, but I have to be really honest with myself. What was I going to, what's the best basketball version of my story? D3 somewhere where I didn't even score enough and I'm at a school that I probably wouldn't

have liked as much as the one I went to. It wasn't like I was going to play D1 anywhere. So I can get mad and regret all these different things. But there's nothing. One of the most densely populated groups of people is basketball players that think if the coach hadn't fucked them or an injury here, oh, I was getting some looks and all this different stuff. I wasn't getting any of that. And I didn't even fill out until I was older anyway.

So the point is, is even if I have some weird regrets about my... What was I doing with it? So Chris, yeah, you could have played soccer senior year. Where was that going? Where was that going after that?

You have a great family. I know where you live. You have great business, great house, whole thing. You're a great person. One of my favorite people. So Chris, who are we kidding?

The lucky 15? The guys would sit around and it would be 1.30 a.m. and they would be like, I'm going to go out at 1.45 just to see what happens. He did it all the time. There you go. Sounds like he had a great senior year. Yeah, he had a great senior year.

He doesn't need to worry about it. People could write a book about his senior year. All right? So, he has no... He did not want to run that mile, though. And he came back jacked. And then it was funny because another guy in the team kind of was over it, too. This other guy was a cool guy on campus and then they had like a heart to

heart and i think the cool guy said to chris he was like if you told me you were gonna quit i would have quit too because i was running all summer i gotta be honest 550 mile is not i mean now for me yeah no thanks but back then live 20 21 year old bodies i'm surprised he couldn't run a 550 guy just didn't like running i guess but yeah all of you guys going hey well you know i regret this i wrote okay yeah i regret stuff too but what was happening you think you're gonna play in finland you know i'm gonna play basketball like hey where can i find a league oh i'm in the new guinea league all right where my sports dreams were waking up with superpowers and not telling anyone and that's how i get to be a professional athlete those are i was like man if i could just be superman and keep it on the ground i'd be the

best fucking running back ever who do you think would be the best superhero pro athlete where it's not absurd, right? Well, if it's not absurd, I mean, the only one who doesn't have superpowers is Batman. He's just like a super coordinator. Yeah, but I don't know. I mean, how fast is he? Yeah. Is he fast?

Maybe Spider-Man, because he can't fly, so it's not like cheating. He's just sort of using his God-givens. Yeah, if you just threw the ball up in the air and he's jumping 10, 15 feet, so it's not like cheating. He's just sort of using his God-givens. Yeah, if you just threw the ball up in the air and he's jumping 10, 15 feet. I mean, I don't know what Spider-Man's bird is. Well, he's got the Spidey sense. He never gets tackled. Never.

Never. You know, he'd be great in the pocket. Totally. Totally. Yeah. Now you're talking. He'd just be like, I can't get this guy. Yeah.

He could probably throw passes to himself. Spider-Man might be the answer. I mean, Spider-Man's just, that's ridiculous. Wolverine, I mean, the claw thing would be a penalty. Yeah, he'd be bounced. Thor, I think it'd be tough to get along with him on road trips. You'd just be

like, dude, we just don't see the world the same. Black Widow, probably be in the g league still don't know what she does she's she has guns right she shoots isn't that her deal yeah she's like really good if you interrogate her it's not going to go your way apparently i don't know i gotta tell you the movies seem way easier to get out of interrogations than it would be in real life you never think about that no it didn't didn't actually do you never do you ever think about how you would do under interrogation being tortured i do i think about it all the time so is it torture or is it like the cops are there and it's like well

you're not you're not getting out because i feel like if it was like one of those things was like we're not letting you out of this room i would have just been like mcconaughey and be like all right give me some lone star beers and some 100s well we're gonna be here for a while but i guess if there's like some they're gonna do stuff you'd ask if you could stay like yeah you can't smoke inside anywhere in this country but i guess but i mean if they're tearing off my fingernails, I'm like, totally I'm singing. Yeah. Right. I think most of us would be like,

okay, yep. Stuff's downstairs. I had a roommate. I broke a sprinkler when I was in college. You're playing. We were throwing the football around in the hallway. And of course my throat hit the sprinkler. Like a ceiling sprinkler.

Yeah. So it flooded the floor and then it flooded some rooms and then it actually perfectly for whatever reason had a perfectly dry semi-circle in front of my door because however the water was flowing in the hallway that industrial carpet it just however they leveled the concrete in the front of my door it had a just slight enough pitch that the water wasn't going up it while it was flooding all of my neighbor's rooms so i left scared and hid somewhere else i was 18 i was i didn't know any better i was like oh my god i don't want to be around here kicked out right yeah right right and so i got i was it was somebody else i knew and i just was asleep on the couch in their dorm

room and there was a knock on the door. Like two hours later, it was the cops. The guy was like, Hey, I was like, God, that was amazingly fast. Like,

how did that happen? And the guy's like, did you break the sprinkler? I go, yeah, I go, I was throwing the football. I panicked.

I don't know what to do. I'm sorry. He's like, all right. He goes, at least you admitted it. And I was like, how did you get here?

He goes, your roommate told us it was you, which was kind of messed up that he immediately told me that it was the roommate. So I got back, I did you get here? Because your roommate told us it was you, which was kind of messed up that he immediately told me that it was the roommate. So I got back, I go, what happened? And then the guy was like, hemming and hawing. We had a triple. And then the third guy goes, dude, he literally was like, Hey, do you guys know who broke

this? He was like, it was Ryan. And he's at this storm. He, he flipped, he flipped as quick as any people were like, it's the fastest I've ever seen anyone flip. He just blatantly was like, yeah, Hey, it was Ryan. And I can tell you exactly where he is right now because it could have been played off as like somebody broke it.

Nobody admits it. And then fine. Um, but the water thing sucked. And then I had to like really looking back, I should have stuck around, helped everybody. And I, and I didn't realize how bad it was going to get. And it was, uh, and it was uh you know i was 18 i made a mistake i'm aware of it now um not a good look though the immediate the immediate snitch tough no i love that move past that freshman year you're upset more upset with him

snitching than it is me leaving like what he did is lame me leaving is way worse because at the very least yeah yeah i should have stuck around helped help people clean up damn the ports because the water was going underneath people's doors so they were stacking towels in the back of it i mean it's really bad it's really bad so you know whatever we all make mistakes. Okay, that took forever. Let's see here. I should do one more that isn't about me in college. How about that? Yeah, here's a quick one.

All right, here we go. All right, 30-year-old dude living in LA. Pre-COVID, I was in pretty good shape. Straight training three, four days a week. Still in decent shape. Body weight workouts in my apartment, but obviously I've lost some mass. One of my favorite exercises to do over the past year is pull-ups from the comfort of my own apartment. I've learned that I prefer to do dead hang pull-ups without over the ear headphones on and also no t-shirt. Both the headphones and t-shirt get in the way or restrict

weirdly during the exercise. Obviously when gyms open up again, taking off headphones to do pull-ups is not a problem at all. You needed to make sure that was confirmed, that those of us either listening or reading this email knew that taking off the headphones, I worry about where this is going. All right. Pre-COVID, I definitely felt that taking off a t-shirt for an exercise is a try-hard move, but now that I've experienced the benefits of not wearing a t-shirt while doing pull-ups, I don't really want to go back. It allows me to do full range of motion smoothly and perhaps even more reps.

Like I said, I'm definitely not looking like a bodybuilder, but I'm also not awful looking with a shirt off. In the future, do I need to wear bigger or less restrictive t-shirts for days that I'm doing pull-ups? Or is taking off the t-shirt for an exercise not as tacky as a move as I have in my head whoa yeah dude don't take your shirt off to do pull-ups at the gym once they start opening up again I don't think you am I missing something here I don't think I don't even think you can do that in some gyms I think they have like an alarm that goes off. Yeah, I'm trying to just

double check here what we're talking about because pull-ups nowadays we're all over the place. The pull-up industry in general are kind of all over the place. So I don't really understand this. Does this guy want to take his

shirt off at the gym? I think that's what we're talking about. I mean, dead hangs are real pull-ups as far as I'm concerned. All right. Uh, maybe there's a little bit more of a pause on yours. I don't understand. I can be honest with you. I'm calling you out a little bit here. You really think you're getting three more pull-ups in because you don't have a shirt on that doesn't make any sense to me whatsoever. So this one's pretty simple. I would keep the shirt on. If you want to go compression shirt guy, although I have the most respect ever for long sleeve out of shape compression shirt guy at a sporting event. It's my favorite look ever. I'm just like, you are the best because no one possibly could think that looks good, but you're going for it.

Yeah, look, I see the guys on Instagram too that take their shirt off at the gym. I don't know why they get away with it. Probably because they're fucking jacked and they have a million followers and it's all part of the routine. So, you know, most of us don't look like those guys, but I guess I'm just wondering why you think you're getting three or four more reps

on a pull-up just because of a less restrictive shirt. That doesn't make a lot of sense. I have a feeling like we're going to get a follow-up here, or this is a joke. All right. That's where we're at. I'll do more of these next week, but we'll be back Monday. Yeah, that's right. Monday, Wednesday, Friday. So Bill and I are going every other Sunday for a bit. All right. here you go. you